The Worst Nightmares During No Contact And How To Handle Them

476 thoughts on “Your Worst Nightmares During The No Contact Rule”

Kate

March 1, 2017 at 1:10 am

I sent him the last msg told him actually he made me happy and how i was actually appreciate by made him examples with affection, I just didint tell and express that much to him so he thought whatever he did I was not happy and I didint appreciate him,,,,,,, but also he didnt like to tell how he felt too, so I stopped doing something he liked . he said :”it is nice to know how I felt ,but you said similar things 3 month ago” ( my friend told me it means he was not touched by what I said), then I replied him : “it proves that I have been saying the truth and telling my real feelings, anyway I d really let the old past things go” becasue during this 3 months I know him better than before, he is sensitive, insecure he needs a long time to belive and rethink things. but me is the person wants to see the result very soon like when I asked him something, I want him to make the right decision……but he is not that kind of person.

The reason why I told him my real feelings is becasue now he is emotional and feel anxious, he wants space so he may wont think what I have been texting to him, but I hope in a one month later or so he will look back what I did to him he can realise something……is it a right way ? so now I give up…I need to move on……the reason why i didnt move on during 3 months becasue I had expectations,but now I dont see it right now, and I have already gutted. I thought I didint wrong things so I was guilty wanted to make it up , but actually there is no fault made only from on person in a relationship, it must be from two, he didint like to tell his feelings thats why made the misunderstandings, if he told me early or every steps when it happened , he wouldnt bottle things up and broke up with me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 1, 2017 at 8:05 pm

If you decided to move on, it doesn’t matter anymore what he thinks a month from now.. You have the closure to yourself, and that closure should be now.

Kate

February 28, 2017 at 12:50 am

I understand now actually he knew I wanted him back but first time he still met me only because we were unhappy again when we met so he is sure he doesn’t want to get back together right ?

Also why I m still sticking is because I have realised dis things wrong I know what should I do if we were together again but he didn’t give me chance so I can’t get it over, Also Im gutted when I knew he had sex with someone else ………. I actually felt bored when I was with him because he doesn’t like express him a lot he is the one hard to trust people But after we broke up I miss him a lot and want to stay with him spend time !

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 28, 2017 at 7:16 pm

but he doesn’t right now.. So, what’s your decision?

Sam

February 27, 2017 at 7:35 pm

Me and my boyfriend have. Been broken up for a week we dated two years ago for almost 6 years he rencently came
Back to me saying he missed me and wanted to take things slow n hope
To reconnect n I pretty much told him either we r together or not n he said ok bc he didn’t want to lose me now he said I deserve to b with someone who’s heart is in it I’m pretty sure he is with another girl and had been talking to her the whole time he was with me what do I do? I just feel I need to give up

Sam

February 28, 2017 at 3:56 am

We dated for 6 years broke up for 2 years he contacted me saying he missed me n wanted to try n reconnect again n I pretty much told him it’s a relationship or it’s not and so we lasted about 5 months and I found out he went on vacation with a girl behind my back and pretty sure he has been seeing her this whole time but he told me he didn’t want to lose me and that I’m the best thing for him but I deserve to find someone who’s heart is in it . I feel like all
Hope is lost and I dnt want to look or feel stupid or contact him n he don’t reply idk if he even cares about me st all right now seems like he’s interested in the new girl what should I do
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 28, 2017 at 8:21 pm

Try the no contact rule. Be focused in improving yourself. After it, if you don’t want to initiate, set a limit until when you would wait for him but set your standards. If he’s still with the other girl, move on.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2017 at 8:51 pm

Hi Sam,

What did you mean that he for almost 6 years he recently came? Do you want to try the no contact rule?

Kate

February 27, 2017 at 5:43 am

Hi Amor how are you
Not sure if you still remember me, I have some news….
I met my ex like one week ago, and we were not happy, we went to the bar we met for the last time( because he finished work late that s the only bar open that late and convenient for us)
, first I think he was afraid having eye contact with me, actually he is the man who doesn’t like talk much and express himself, our dinner were arkward, because we are not in a relationship, he said he was tired after work, I was angry and said me too, then we were all quiet. I was angry just got my bad and gone, I actually went to the bathroom, when I came back he had gone. I felt no that’s not what I want, then I text him can you come back, then he came back and we went to another bar. But still was awkward.

I cried a lot when I came home but next day I sent him a msg,told him thank you for joining rhe dinner, and asked him why he didn’t talk much, he said he was tired and also awrkward, and asked me why I am always angry with him( so when he broke up with me he said he cant make me happy anymore).I asked him can we meet again, he was polite and reject like in the future when he have time, I told him I dont want to regret, we should have a fun and happy meet, then he said don’t be so angry then.

I felt like I talk to him then he replies me, but very not proactive. I hate this feeling, then I cant stand it I asked him when last time you had sex, he wasn’t willing to tell me, but I said we should be honest it matters. He said the week when we met, I was out of control and very sad I felt like I gutted, I asked him I asked you have you been seeing or dating a girl, but he said no, why you didn’t tell me, he said because he doesn’t want to talk about it with me(1.i dunno why), I asked him where is she from and how long time you have been satying. He was so pissed off and asked me to stop. I said okay: you are too soon for find a girl after we broke up,good job! He said: no he didn’t, and he is still single and tell me he is single for many times. I asked will you have se3x with me, he said no.becasue I m his ex and it will going to be backward,and it is unfair for either of us.

I asked him is it no way back for us, he said no way back, I said I have changed It will be a new relationship. He said he doesn’t want to go back( I know he was unhappy in that relationship and he felt not engaged because I ignored him a lot).he said I should move on, he cant deal it every three months( we have broken up fpr 3 months, I haven’t met any guys) because I always think we still have hope, he cares me I can feel, if he doesn’t, why he still meet me,even when I was angry and left but called him back then he came back. (And the day when he met me he told me it was a new shirt, but I forgot to compliment me!) now he is so sure he doesnt want to be back with me I think he is vulnerable( as he told me when we broke up ).now he has got a girl although his gf but they have had sex. I feel jealous and I cant accept it. He asked me why I asked about it, I said it says something, but I don’t wanna say. He said: No tell me! Also he said we neeed space now again for being friends. I think he knows I have been chasing him and want to be with him again, although I told him we are just friends…..so he met me

Im not sure do I still have chance in the long term, because I always send him long and intensive msgs, as he is a Taurus man……………

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2017 at 7:27 pm

Hi Kate,

Hmm.. the overall meet up and the conversation was not good because right now he knows you want him back and you’re in the chaser position. Frankly, it’s not looking good. You should have left before you got angry nor ask if there’s still a chance but right now, the best option is to agree to him. Tell him, you understood what he said, and it’s not the right time to be friends again and then do one last no contact period. Because it’s the last and because you’ve done it before, I think you should do 45 days for a chance of a restart, for a chance that he would think you’ve really moved on and would be curious in your improvements. Date others too. And then slowly build rapport after.

Elsa

February 23, 2017 at 5:47 pm

So my ex and I broke up last week.. it was terrible and I made the mistake of begging him to take me back etc.. Yesterday I texted him ” I sold my car finally 😀 ” and he replied ” Oh you did? 😀 sorry I haven´t talked to you, its been hard ” we then texted each other for hours, telling stupid inside jokes and ended up laughing at them, then I told him I need to catch some sleep, because I have an early morning shift at work.. All this made me miss him like crazy and I really do want him back! Is it too late to start the no contact phase? Should I do the NC? Honestly, the only thing that is stopping me, is that I really am afraid he will forget me..Oh and we dated about 2 months ( but have known each other since 2015)

Elsa

April 5, 2017 at 9:21 am

So I managed to do my NC and I actually extended it, because I had a job offer and I took it, and I was so busy ,I had no time to think about my ex, which is good. During the NC period, I did not hear from him but he did like my instagram photos.

So after the 30 days and some more, I actually accidentally bumped to my ex at a store on this Monday. He saw me, looked surprised and said hey, I just kinda smiled and waved my hand. When I was already at the check in, I saw him walking towards me & staring at me all the way. Later that day, I sent him a message “ any chance you were at the store because you were looking for a coffee table 😀 ?” and he replied “ It was even a surprise to me, that I actually bought a coffee table couple weeks ago 😀 “ .. when we started dating, he didn’t have a lot of furniture at his place so whenever I went there, we would play cards and drink coffee and we would use this tiny wonky stool as our table, which wasn’t a good idea since we usually spilled the coffee or the cards didn’t fit the table and they would fly to the floor etc..
I just replied “ wow , well good for you 😀 “ and then he replied “ yeah 😀 so how have you been? “ I told him about my job/gym and school stuff and then we would text till 1:30 am. He uses the word “lol” a lot like I do, and when he put “ lol 😀 “ I told him that “ btw do u use “lol” if you are being sarcastic? My friend told me that whenever I use the word lol, it sounds more sarcastic than that I would actually be laughing” and he said that no, he just uses it the same way as I do. I replied” yeah I thought so too :D” , and he replied “ lol” the thing is, he is very shy and doesn’t talk much, but whenever we would text or hang out , he would say funny short things that would make me laugh. And that lol did, so I replied “ omg I cant even… lmao :´D” and he replied back “ good 😀 I like it when you laugh 😀 “ at this point I was thinking in my head why would he say that, I mean now it was important that he still makes me laugh… I did tell him once that the best qulity about him, is that he makes me laugh like no one else can. Other thing I noticed is that, he used a lot of the crying laughing emoji. And he just felt exited to talk to me.

We would text stupid silly things, like I would say “ don’t mock them, they are star wars stuff *crying laughing emoji “ and he would reply “ I don’t mock I don’t mock I know you love star wars *crying laughing emoji*
our jokes got so silly, I texted him “ omg we are so f***ing stupid 😀 “ and he said “ yeah , but I don’t mind 😀 “ Then I just texted him that I am tired and off to bed, goodnight “ And he replied “ yeah, goodnight 😀 “
I didn’t hear anything from him yesterday. I was surprised that our text messasing would be like that, to me he sounded like he was just excited to talk to me again. I don’t know if it is possible that because we haven’t seen each other for almost 1 ½ months and then we just suddenly bumped into each other, made him realize that he misses me? or something? are these good signs? I need all the help I cant get. : )
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 5, 2017 at 6:55 pm

Yup, that’s a good sign.. you can rest a day or text again the next day. Just remember to be the one to end it at high point.
Elsa

February 27, 2017 at 11:45 am

Had to update a little bit, because to me this might be a positive sign.. but last night, I changed my profile picture on facebook and when I woke up and checked who liked my photo, I saw his name there and I was honestly surprised. I think I change my profile photo once or twice when we dated and he never liked them, even tho he really had a huge crush on me then.. now its the day six of the NC and no way I am stopping this! Thank God I found this site! 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2017 at 7:41 pm

Yes, that’s a good sign 🙂
Kate

February 27, 2017 at 5:58 am

Hi Elsa
how are you ?
sorry to msg you, but i think our situation are very similar. we were dating two months or a bit more, and one day he explosed he like spending time with me seeing me but he is not fallin glove iwth me( becasue I acted like i ignored him, i went out wit friends but not him, he told me he cant make me happy, becasue he felt he always done things wrong. but i think your situation is better than me, but when you said your ex bf it reminds what he told to me. do you think you make him feel he is needed, and make meet his hero intrinstic?
Elsa

February 24, 2017 at 5:22 am

The break up thing was kinda confusing.. I mean, we dated for 2 months like I said and then he asked me if I want to take things further and we did the whole facebook relationship status thing that we are together. The next day, he started to panic and txted me that what if we never fall in love? Is it worth to take a chance? I told him to calm down and said that for me, really falling in love with someone is a long process ( last time it took me over 6 months to fall in love with a guy I dated for almost 4 years) . Then he told me that just being around me feels good and he really likes me, but he is afraid of not falling in love. Then he asked for time to think, I gave it to him and 5 days later he just texted me that ” I dont feel like it anymore” and we broke up. He is not a player or anything like that.. he is a total opposite of me, he is really introverted and shy .. he has only dated once before and he doesnt have that much experience with women.

And like I told you, when I sent him a text message about my car he asked about it and also wrote the ” sorry that I havent talk to you its been hard” I wanted to ask him what has been hard but I just replied ” Its okay 🙂 ” and continued talking about my car until we started the inside jokes. English is not my native language btw but I am trying to explain as good as I can! 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 24, 2017 at 3:40 pm

So, he doesn’t love you yet? That’s a big factor because he’s probably thinking that he doesn’t want to be official with someone he doesn’t love. I think you should just do 21 days and then after that slowly build rapport, go back to dating phase and build more rapport and attraction.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 23, 2017 at 9:46 pm

Hi Elsa,

why did you break up?

Kate

February 4, 2017 at 1:42 pm

Bored ? What do you mean by it Bored in his life ATM or he is bored with me or he is a bored person lol

Janice

February 10, 2017 at 6:24 am

Hey, please help asap!
I did the NC once and I failed so I had to do it again. Now i’m on day 25, and day 30 is on Valentines day so I wanted to text him today. Yesterday I saw him with 2 girls and I was very down. Never have felt such thing. We broke up because we fought too much. He is meeting new people and doing new things like tattoo’s. Was the NC a stupid idea?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 10, 2017 at 5:47 pm

Hi Janice,

It’s probably rebound.. for me it’s better to do nc than chase..but did you improve yourself and were you active in posting your activities in social media?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 4, 2017 at 2:00 pm

I think bored with the topics or messages..

Kate

February 4, 2017 at 2:23 am

We have been texting and yea more than 2 msgs a day I asked him if I have problem can I talk to him, he said sûre what’s up, during had the conversations I feel he is not like before, he doesn’t make jokes etc, and I asked him is it the attitude you treat to your friends ( Bexuse we said we are friends now, not bad right ) ehy your serious when you talk? He said he take it serious and he is being serious ? What does it mean ? Why he is serious when he talked to me? I hope he can be like the first time when we meet, take everything easily

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 4, 2017 at 12:35 pm

im not sure, but that sounds like he’s bored

Kate

February 2, 2017 at 7:21 am

Amor I sent msgs like you remember the car you chose for my counsion , Let me know if you have got a girl I won’t bother you guys and won’t msg you again ( I was going to push him to msg me back like he has got or not ) He still didn’t reply I said do you still alive After that he said : sorry he was staying up late watching football he just woke up ( actually when I was with him he is the guy woke up late ) And I haven’t reply him so should I keep silence not responding him ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 2, 2017 at 3:56 pm

well, you said you dont think he’s a good guy for you right? So, if you want to continue moving on there’s nothing wrong with that. But if you still want to try, then yes, continue texting

Kate

February 2, 2017 at 5:26 am

Hey Amor I feel like I’m a loser I have done my 21 days NC today i sent him a msg with a lol emoji and said oh my ……he didn’t respond me I think it is he has got a new girl or he feels I hurt his self esteem because I posted some pics on social media and You wont know if I was with a guy or I was alone in the hotel
Kate

February 1, 2017 at 4:16 pm

I mean we didn’t talk to each othe and should I msg him first after my 21 nc He is a really cautiOn boy and I don’t think it is a good idea if I said like : Omg !
Guess what ! He will think I’m so redicious and I don’t literary have anything to say to him

Kate

February 2, 2017 at 5:29 am

And what should I do now

Kris

February 1, 2017 at 10:10 am

Hello Amor, You have any suggestion about a guy doesn’t have interested in you at all ! But he is not dislike you ! And he is a play boy, is it your project working as well ? lol

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 1, 2017 at 3:19 pm

Hi Kris,

did you mean the pinterst projects? Actually Chris has a post about playboys 🙂 Here it is:
How To Get Your Boyfriend Back If He’s “A Player”

Kate

February 1, 2017 at 2:19 am

Hey Amor and all the girls who are suffering from the break ups!

I want to tell you one thing: 21 days NC or 30 days is worth to do ! Only when you don’t break it it really help!

Before 3-4 days finish my 21 days NC, I had strong emotional and wanted to contact my ex sooo much ( I actually break two time NC and were all like 2-5 days Before I finish it ) Amor is it the psycho thing? When your emotional goes to the top of the hill then it will goes down …. ?? Today it my 21 NC or maybe tomorrow lol but I find it out myself when I woke up my attitude was: who the hell want to contact you (ex) first , do you desverve my msgs, but I would say I’m not recovered completely although it is 3 months now . And now I m not motivated to contact with him if I have to say it will be 40% will contact and 60% won’t , also in the 40% It is not because I really want to msg him , it is because he dumping me and I have my self -esteem , i guess you know what I mean. Now my hate is more than anything. He is not like a man he told me he was vulnerable, what the fuck? Also he doesn’t deserve how good I treated him.
But one thing is interesting, why my mind and attitude can change so fast ,like yesterday and today are so different ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 1, 2017 at 2:31 pm

Hi Kate,

did something happen, did you do something or something made you realize that?

Kris

January 29, 2017 at 2:28 pm

Hey Amor !

I met a boy one year ago, we met two times and he is a Aries men, I would say I believe star signs, Because the people with the star signs have the certain qulities and characters.

The men I met last year from an app, we are both 25 now, he was studying here in my city for one year and his parents are living in my city, we have never be in a relationship , BUT Yoi know in his life he has never had a real gf but he had sex with about 20 girls, he was born and raised up in a rush family and i yhink his mom and step dad treat him like a boy not a man ! We met twice for drinking and chatting ( no sex ) And the sex time when we met we drank too And there was some misunderstandings He thought I had a bf that time when I met him, but no, that’s why after time he didn’t meet me at all , whatever I said. I asked him for out a couple of time although he said okay let’s go but finally he didn’t. I thought he was just to be a polite to said yes. And he told me : he knew I will always stand with him because I was the one proactive. And then we didn’t meet anymore he back to his country, now he come back again in my city, ( after about one year ? )

When I talk to him he still talks to me, and I realise the more I talk to him the more he ignores me, today i asked him for a help, he texted me much more than I texted, even when I just sent him an emoji. We have never be in a relationship, I don’t want to be, but I want to meet hi again, what should I do ? I guess he is the one like a playboy because he has never had a serious relationship in his life.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 30, 2017 at 11:36 am

Hi Kris,

if you dont want a relationship, then just reach out later on.. there’s no point chasing him if he’s ignoring you now..

Kate

January 28, 2017 at 1:21 pm

I have been checking other website, they said men need the hero instinct, they want to give what the women want and need instead of how the women please them! I reviewed myself I treated him so good maybe because he is 4 years younger than me, one time when he was ill I showed up at his station wanted to give his surprised brought the things he like eating, but he didn’t seem very happy , and he asked me what I want, and he felt like I showed sypmapthy to him, I was angry at that time becUe I wanted to make him happy but now I understand, many times I did g thing like how I was trying to treat him not let him revealing my needs, that’s also why he told me he wasn’t fall in love with me, because men need to be feel they are the heros and how they make the women happy o they can’t they will feel out of love. Also you know sometimes I trivialised him I met other friends but didn’t met him so I make him all the way men won’t like and engage well in a relationship, Im really doubt can I get him back because I know what did wrong.

It is 4 days left to reach the 21 days NC, the days more closer to the 21 days the more I want to talk to him , and still he hasn’t talked to me, I’m anxious, and now I’m sick. I really want to send him a msg tell him, I’m sick I wish he was here and I miss his cuddlings, and tell him it is the first time this feeling come to my mind after break up ……is it a good idea when there is 3 -4 days left to the NC ? Bexuse Im sick and I feel I need him

Jane D

February 8, 2017 at 8:20 am

Hi Kate,
Sorry it took a while to reply you. I decided to do 45days NC because I was so needy and desperate after the break up that I feel like it is better to take a longer break not to text him. I sent too many text messages to him in December and he didn’t reply most of them. I think I pushed him away more and more with that behavior. I have thought about contacting him after 30 days..but I will see it then. It is actually 21th day now.. I will see in 9 days if I a ready to contact him or do I still wait.
A month ago I met him last time and we talked last time as I kinda pressured him to meet up. After that I haven’t heard from him 🙁
I do hope he started missing me. But I know he is busy with his two jobs so he probably doesn’t have time to think about me. This page is great as I have realized many things that I did wrong after break up and I hope things can go well.
Kate

January 31, 2017 at 7:27 am

hi Jane D 🙂 Thanks for He comment Haha may I ask why you decide to do 45 days NC don’t you think it is a bit too long ?
I was not clingy at all when I was with him, and I always ignore him that’s why he broke up with me, but after we broke up I reviewed and realised I did something wrong so I was the one clingy and initiate to contact him, I have one day last to finish my 21 days NC
Are you fear if you don’t contact with him he will lose feelings for you gradually so you send his msg want to let him think of you ?
Jane D

January 29, 2017 at 4:51 pm

Kate, Had to comment you as I feel like I have been in a same situation. I broken up with my ex two months ago after 6 months of dating. He is 2 years younger than me. I realized also I have done things like you did. Once I baked him some cookies as he was busy and a bit distant and thought it would have cheered him up and also fixed things. I treated him always so good but now I realized the word CLINGY is really me. I didn’t realize it then. A few weeks ago he said he said he cares about me as a friend but haven’t heard about him after that. I have sent him some text messages and he doesn’t even read them. I see he is online but I know he is really busy with his job. I have been really needy and desperate and in December I sent a way too many text messages and he ignored them all. I understand it so well and now I realized that on December 6 I sent him 3 messages on Facebook and he ignored them all and I saw he was online. Then I sent a message on WhatsApp to say that if he got the messages on Facebook as I see his is online. Next morning he texted that yes he got them but he has been too busy. After that he has ignored most of my messages. But on New Years Even he sent “Happy new year”. After that I sent one text and got ignored. Two days after it I sent a bad message and he replied he still cares about me as a friend but he keeps being really busy with his jobs and that’s why couldn’t have replied and when he has days off he sleeps a lot. I wish I had found this page earlier. Now I am on my 11th day of 45 Day NC and I hope I could still keep being friends with him. Just need to get rid of this clinginess. I really want to show him that the old me is history and I will be the best version of me. I still hope I can rebuild the rapport even I was really clingy in the past :/
I see him often online and I want to message him to say “hi”.. but because of this great page I have decided to keep this NC period. Even thought I am employed at the moment, I try to keep days filled with things I like to do.
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 28, 2017 at 3:35 pm

Hi Kate,

I hate to say this, what you read is right but it also depends on the situation.. if he thinks you’re clingy, saying that at this point can reiterate that you’re clingy

Kate

January 24, 2017 at 7:56 am

Like I said this time i have been trying to recovered for about two months but still I haven’t got it over, normally I will be fine after two weeks or a month because I was the one dumping someone, this time I am the one dumped and also because I don’t know why I still feel there is a hope so Im anxious, sometimes when we don’t know what will happen we will get nervous and think to much

When he broke up with me he said he wanted to let me know he doesn’t want to lose me completely in his life We de better to be friends( he said we were together to soon it was not enough to be together) And also I didn’t make him feel like engaged in the relationship, but if he wanted to be friends why he has never talked to me initiate after we broke up ? ( I’m the one always talked to him first ) I’m confused Is it because I was too impatient I broke two times NC And he won’t feel he lose something after broke up although we broke up but I’m always here for him ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 25, 2017 at 9:47 am

most of the time, yes.. Men take for granted what they know are just there

Kate

January 23, 2017 at 2:17 am

Hi Amor,
Not sure if you ever heard of a saying, a broken up relationship is like a broke mirror, although the broken pieces can puzzle up together again, but still there are some cracks.
I also feel like he has been meeting or seeing a new girl, my 21 days NC is finished soon , can I ask him this question : if he has been dating a girl ? If he has I will give up the reason why I haven’t give up is because there is still a little hope in my mind.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 23, 2017 at 4:16 pm

Hi Kate,

Yes, I have.. if that is a non negotiable for you, then yes, ask it..

K

January 23, 2017 at 1:23 am

Hi, I left comments on other articles but since it’s the one about the nc I’ll leave another comment here:) you know, I texted him a few times but he still hasn’t read them… I don’t know if he knows I texted but is just ignoring them or he didn’t even get the messages because he deleted the app or something… But in either case, doesn’t it mean he just doesn’t care and is not even curious of what I should say? And before he broke up with me, I think he was moving on and we were long distance relationship and the issue was that he doesn’t have any feelings left anymore and I don’t think that was an impulsive decision but rather he actually meant it. I am currently on nc like you suggested (45+ days) but I’m worried I don’t have that good chance… Will he ever think about me or am I just an annoying ex girlfriend? Is there anything i can do other than being active? Please help:(

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 23, 2017 at 4:07 pm

I think that really means he just wants you to move on and that nownis not the right time to try to build rapport because like he said, he’s busy.. In that cases, like in the article for girls with military exes, there could be a time that the only chance is that you have to do nc until he gets home

Ava

January 22, 2017 at 9:27 pm

Amor, my situation is a little different… we broke up 2 years ago. it was entirely my fault i was having mental health issues that really prevented me from being myself. now i’m back on track and feeling much more like the real me. i met him and dated him for a year when i was in high school and he in college, in 2005,and it was amazing we both agree that it was the best relationship either of us ever had, we only broke up because i moved away but we both were still in love and stayed friends through the years, he constantly asked me out and i was finally ready to get back with him in 2014, we stayed together for just under a year but we were living together for a good part of that and for A YEAR after the breakup, we’ve been friends still ever since and neither of us has dated anyone else. he helps me out and does favors for me all the time and is even taking care of my dog for a little but ive recently realized im ALWAYS the one to contact him first! i saw him tuesday and sent a few texts wednesday and thursday of just a friendly nature which havent been returned… thats when i decided i needed to try no contact, but this guy isnt like any other guy ive met, he’s sort of oblivious to social media and gets so wrapped up in his projects that he probably honestly wouldn’t even notice if i didnt text him for a month. do you think it’ll help me get him thinking of me as that unattainable dream girl again? he recently told me he once considered marrying me… but now he barely texts me, i just want him to chase me again! but sometimes i have to see him because he brings me to my therapy sessions so i can continue to better myself. what do i do???!?!?!?!

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 23, 2017 at 3:24 pm

Hi Ava,
if he’s used to you initiating, then he will notice once you dont and if you want a higher chance of him.seeing you as an ungettable girl, then you have to be more independent.. Go to the therapy on your own..

Kate

January 21, 2017 at 2:54 am

Amor, I have tried to improve myself and meet new guys but I don’t have motivation to meet em at all, when I chat with them I always think of my ex and they are not better than him.

Generally, i won’t break the NC but every time when I see the sweet pic of couples I will miss him and I feel guilty because I made him felt wasn’t engaged in our relationship I trivialised his feelings I was not that sweet enough to him like a gf he was disappointed he has never initiated to talk to me after break up, Im not sure should have have 21 days NC or 30 days ? I wonder if people don’t contact with each other will work I think the more they talk and experence things the more they will build more rapport. The longer time they don’t talk to each other the colder the relationship will be. When I think how I ignored him I will always want to talk to him and say sorry 🙁

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 22, 2017 at 3:17 pm

Hi Kate,

well you dont have to really be in a new relationship but it is important to make new friends.. yes, building rapport means talking more and spending more time each other.. the reason why it’s advised after a no contact rule is when your ex has already decided that he doesn’t want a relationship.. talking to him or trying to convince him is like saying your contradicting his made decision
other than that..if you really think you can convince him with just saying you’ll be more affectionate then do that after 21 days

Faith

January 19, 2017 at 8:54 am

Hi?
I’m not sure i started off with the no contact rule the right way. I’ve been advised to do a 45 days no contact but i want to know if i was wrong as of how i started it.
Well my first attempt of no contact failed after i responded to my ex’s call. I had ignored his text on the third day but after seeing his call on the fifth day i responded to it. He asked me to be responding to his text because he’s just being friendly and i agreed but after that we didn’t talk again.
I kept on thinking about him and I texted him after three days. I told him of how i love him and no matter what I’ll never stop loving him. I begun being desperate again and texted him a whole day. He was really replying to my text but he read all the texts. He had told me before he was in a relationship and i kept on saying to him that he got himself into a rebound relationship. I told him also about him being a commitment phobe that day and all the characters about what i knew about a commitment phobe.Even after complaining that much he said we couldn’t date but be friends. I then texted him that i had a confession but couldn’t tell him and he begun being curious to the point he confessed that he was lying about being in a relationship. He told me he just wanted me to leave him alone and i wasn’t. So i asked him if he really wanted me to leave and he didn’t answer me. I had told him of how I’d drop his stuff at his cousins place and he said i shouldn’t do that until wen we meet.
We started talking about sex and how I’d do it with him but then the conversation ended by him asking me if i still thought he was using him.I said no but that’s how i used to feel. He friendzoned me and was having sex with me so i was an Fwb and if he wasn’t using me why was he not committing.Thats what was running through my mind.
I then talked to him at night but I only told him i was going to mars. He then made fun and told me to bring him aliens and the next day i started no contact.
He hasn’t texted and I’m on the 8th day of no contact. Could he have noticed that I’m doing it on purpose? And what do you advice me to do?usually he wouldn’t stay that long without texting so what’s really going on in his mind? Help please

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 20, 2017 at 5:32 pm

Hi Faith,

stick to nc this time and use to it to leverage your chances.. If you really want a chance, improve and focus in improving..

« Previous 1 … 3 4 5 6 7 … 9 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

476 thoughts on “Your Worst Nightmares During The No Contact Rule”