What Your Ex Says Vs. What They Mean- The Comprehensive Guide

909 thoughts on “What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means”

Curtains

February 19, 2018 at 1:17 am

My ex boyfriend hit me up talking crap. He accused me of trying start crap with his friends when that wasn’t the case at all. After I told him that he getting mad at the wrong person. He messaged me that he was happy and finally found the right one. Then he proceeded to call me a Bitch. So then I replied with “The only bitch I see is you.””I could care less who you talk to.” he then told me to stop coming around. I told him that I honestly forgot he even existed and to get over himself…. He mocked me by saying that I know he doesn’t care I said it myself all the time.. Long story short I was unbothered until he said that. He used me and trashed me. I’m a virgin and I almost lost it to him. I moved all the way from Texas to Pennsylvania to be closer to him. I was good to him. For him to say that… It hit me hard. Not alot of females would have done what I did. Despite him having sex with multiple women and talking to one behind my back. Literally replacing me. I just hope Karma comes through.
Sarah

February 17, 2018 at 12:46 pm

My ex and I have been on and off for 5 years we’ve broken up twice in the past and he’s run off sleeping around and going out and being a lad. He has come back but to only stay with me for 9-12 months and then left. This time I thought was different and I thought he had realised but I was wrong. We argued a lot and in the end split up which he has now gone down the same path and is sleeping around and liking girls pictures on Instagram etc I’m heartbroken he hasn’t bothered to try and make contact like he used to and when I contact him he’s nasty saying that he regrets ever getting back with me before and he will never ever come back to me again I’m heart broken and I can’t seem to get over this break up, what do I do? I hoped he would come back again but this time I feel it really it over for good and he isn’t coming back

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 19, 2018 at 4:51 pm

Hi Caitlin,

Check this one:
How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back

Lori L.

February 16, 2018 at 5:11 am

The strangest breakup I could ever imagine. We had gone on a 5-day vacation together. Just as we were about to drive to our ocean destination, my boyfriend’s cell phone rang. He let voicemail pick up the call, but turned and said to me, “That was my old girlfriend calling.” Up to that point, I had no clue that an old girlfriend had been keeping in touch. I didn’t give this too much thought since we all have “oldies” around from times past who mean nothing to us now. (In fact, an oldie with whom I had absolutely no interest whatsoever had dropped by my place, unannounced, one recent Saturday morning when the boyfriend was there. Said goodbye, closed door and that was it.) Back to story — After arriving home from the incredible vacation, Boyfriend stays at my place overnight and leaves next day. Forty eight hours pass and I get call from Boyfriend. BF is at work on a Monday morning at 10 am. His last words to me were, “I am looking forward to seeing you on Wednesday night.” (Our homes are separated by quite a distance.) I said, “Sure, okay.” We often saw each other on Wednesday nights. He would stay over and go to work on Thursday, am. Anyway, on Tuesday morning, exacly 24 hours after, “I’m looking forward to seeing you.” and the great five-day vacation, out of no where he says, “I don’t want this. I thought I wanted it, but I don’t.” I said, “You mean we are breaking up?” I was more irritated than anything since such a breakup made no sense to me. Not much else was said except he said, “I need to go back to work.” I said, “Okay, I will send you an e-mail listing the things I have at your place so I can them back.” He then offered to install my bike tack on my wall which accidentally took four Sunday’s (the walls required a lot of specialty work and specialty tools) where we were together about 9 hours each Sunday. We also spent at least three hours watching our favorite Sunday night shows. Each Sunday we seemed to have a very nice time — good team work and I made dinner. I finally had to as him, “Can you explain to me why we are breaking up? Whatever I did to you, I don’t want to do to the next person so explaining to me would help me out.” He said, “All I wanted you for was sex.” The odd thing about saying this was that, even though I had “made a move” in that direction on our last Sunday once the bike racks were installed, he rebuffed my advances entirely. If he wanted me for sex, he could have had it! I wonder if, “the old girlfriend” had come back. I asked him directly. He said, “Are you serious?” I said, “Well, she DID call you, according to what you told me, just as we were leaving on our five-day vacation.” He said nothing. (The telephone breakup occurred 48 hours — Saturday at 10 am to Monday at 10 am — after we arrived back from our vacation. Seem to me he could have met up with “old girlfriend” that weekend. When he called on Monday, without my even inquiring, he went into a rundown of all the things he had been doing with “the guys” during the course of that 48 hour period. Me thinks he doth tell me too much — covering bases before I even asked — or cared. Seems to me that his old girlfriend may well have come back (otherwise why refuse my offer for the sex which he always seemed to enjoy.) I am still shocked that he would say to me, “I only wanted and used you for sex.[which is why I broke up with you]” THAT was just plain MEAN. He once professed his undying love. Maybe he WAS using me for sex out of loneliness from having just lost his previous girlfriend (of which I was unaware) but I will never know. (With one exception — there was a string bass in his home that I asked him about. He said he was keeping it stored for “an old girlfriend” who had moved to England — his brother’s ex-wife! BTW, The instrument was worth at least $3500 since I play one.) Forever the question haunts me — why tell me is looking forward to our every Wednesday meet-up only to break up for no known reason 24 hours later. (We also always spent the weekends together. Again, we don’t live in close proximity so commuting was never easy.) Secondly, why tell me that all he only went out with me to “use me for sex.” We had a lot of fun times together and sex was just a part of a good relationship. And then we had a wonderful vacation. Wanted me or sex only? Really? I wasn’t always a perfect girlfriend in that we did get in a few spats, but I can’t imagine I deserved the confusing end to what I thought was a working relationship. I have lost complete trust in my own judgment of men. I am afraid to get involved again because the whole “end” was so strange and downright MEAN.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 19, 2018 at 11:31 am

Hi Lori,

Looks like you’re a rebound.. How long were you together and how long have they broken up when you got together?

Sky

February 11, 2018 at 9:46 pm

Boyfriend of 7 years broke up out of no where. The month before he was acting like a stranger. Still acts very cold towards me when I do see him to talk about things. He has told me that I am great, and he will never find anything like me again, but he doesn’t want to be in the relationship. Seems like he is having a quarter life crisis or maybe dealing with other personal things that he doesn’t want to talk to me about. He is now very distant and has told me that I should focus on myself and figure out who I am instead of trying to pursue another relationship.. I am focusing on myself and figuring myself out, but I am having trouble of letting him go because I believe we are very compatible.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 15, 2018 at 6:18 pm

Do you want to try the nc rule?

Sarah Holloway

February 10, 2018 at 8:20 pm

Just a note to add that we message on WhatsApp so I can see he’s online.. and he’ll know that I can see he’s read my message, I’m not sure if he’s doing it on purpose after the comment about him being so popular

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 15, 2018 at 12:25 pm

that means he’s starting to ghost you because the relationship is going to fast for him.. Follow the advice on this one:
How To Prevent A Breakup With Your Boyfriend When You Know It’s Coming

Sarah Holloway

February 10, 2018 at 8:16 pm

Three weeks ago my boyfriend hung up on me, it shocked me as we’d been on the phone for 3 hours having fun, he always liked me to call when he was gaming and he’d just spent 4 days at my house which was perfect. He called 2 days later saying he was sorry he disappeared, that it wasn’t him to do something like that. I asked what I’d said to make him hang up and he said it wasn’t anything in particular, just a couple of things had built up during the day, I’d jokingly said ‘wow you’re popular on WhatsApp today, you’re always online’ it was an honest joke but he read it as me thinking he was talking to someone else (his ex wife was very controlling and jealous, he had to hide female friends from her) he’d also asked me to install the game he plays, so we could play together but then suddenly realised he wouldn’t have anything that was just his own… I explained that I didn’t even want the game and I only did it because he wanted me to! He said he was worried he wouldn’t make me happy and he didn’t know what to do, he was scared because he was starting a new job and would mean not seeing me as much and he worried I would be upset if he couldn’t come over. He was also worried he wouldn’t have time for friends and family and ultimately would have to let one of us down if we all wanted to see him. The last thing he said was he didn’t know what to do and he couldn’t guarantee anything, and he’d call later. After a week of silence I left a voicemail asking if he’d call as I needed to know where I stood, I had a text saying he didn’t know how to talk to me right now?!? We sent a few texts for a week, asking how his job was etc, he sent a few funny messages, but never mentioned ‘us’ except when I mentioned that I needed a repair on my car, he said he didn’t have any tools or he would have helped?! I’m his last texts he congratulated me on my weight loss that I told him about, and he said he was barely managing to hold it together with his early hours and not getting enough sleep, then he said he was also sick and sulky…. I replied saying I was proud of him getting up so early as I know he’s not a morning person and then I asked what was wrong, he read the message but hasn’t replied… that was 3 days ago… I feel like when we start getting on he backs off and now he’s ignoring me I think. He’s never actually said we’re over, but clearly we aren’t together…. I just wonder what he meant by ‘I don’t know how to talk to you right now’ does that mean he’ll call when he’s ready.. is he just thinking about what he wants? It’s the ignoring that really gets to me
Danijela

February 10, 2018 at 3:01 pm

Hey… What iz iz means if my exboyfriend text”coffee…sure… We Will be in touch”. Its been 10 days he send me That… But…not even one Word since then…
Thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 15, 2018 at 12:55 pm

Hi Daniela,

he’s probably just being polite..

Rachi

January 21, 2018 at 1:38 am

Hi there

I was just wanted some advice…..

My bf of nearly a year who has always been affectionate and told me everyday that he loved me and he’s so lucky to have me…. broke up with me…

Last Sunday we spent the day together and it was great he actually told me he’s so Inlove with me….
On the following Thursday we actually had a very petty argument through text message and he said he thought I had cheated on him… he then became cold and distant and said he’s got a lot of stuff going through his mind…

Even thought I have since reassured him I would never do that he said he believes me and that at first that was the issue but now he said he doesn’t know what he wants to do he just wants to be alone and not with anyone ….

He said he cares for me and wants me to be happy but doesn’t feel the same about me and he even said he’s confused by his thoughts…. he said when he used to think about things and me he felt love and saw a future now he says when he think of me there is no feelings anymore it’s just blank….. and then he said maybe he’s depressed ( one of the many reasons I loved him was because he was so straight up about how he felt and played no games ect) now this odd behaviour is happening….. he actually told me last Sunday that he thinks 2020 will be our year as I’m still studying…. he said he doesn’t feel anything for friends family ect either???? I really don’t know what to do because he is actually quite a sensitive guy and I have tried to make it better and just be there for him but he just said he wants to be alone …. but he wanted to tell me straight out how he’s feeling incase his feelings for life and me never return to normal….
I don’t know if he’s just saying this to make me feel sorry for him or what’s going on….. but I do know that before this fight he was still telling me he loved me…… what do I do!?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 21, 2018 at 2:56 pm

Hi Rachi,

Give him a week..if he stays with his decision, start the nc rule

Kelly

January 14, 2018 at 8:25 pm

After 5 years of silence. We never actually slept together but tried dating on 4 different occassions. It never worked out. The last time he kicked me out of his place after an argument and I had already a few drinks in me. A few mo ths later he tried contacting me through email. I did not respond. Fast forward 5 years. Out of no where he send an email to my work email. He had to do some searching. Because I had completely chagNed careers. He ae said he was thinking about me and wanted to see how I am. I responded. It had been enough time and I was no longer hurt or mad. Mind you he has been my greatest regret not sleeping with him.
We exchanged emails over 4 day period. Finally he let me know he is partnered and has an 11 month old kid. I told him I have two kids and with their dad but unmarried. I also asked him what his real motivation for contacting me was and I was curious so for him not to take it the wrong way. It’s been 4 days.and no response. Mind you through the previous days things flowed and heven if he was busy he reaponseded. I am now annoyed and angry. I know he is crazy busy because of work but seriously 4 days. I don’t know if it was the kids comment or me trying to dig deeper into the situation. Help? Do I contact one last time?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 15, 2018 at 12:27 pm

Hi Kelly,

hmm.. I have the same question on you as you did for him.. I’m curious why you want to know if he was bothered with your questions..

Kelly

January 14, 2018 at 11:00 am

My ex and I dated 5 years ago. We gave it four attempts and it never worked out. Actually the last attempt he kicked me out of his place and tried to contact me two months later. I ignored. Now 5 years later he email, which he put effort into searching for my work email. We echanged back and forth for a few days. He said he prefers emailing versus talking on phone.He kept saying it was nice to hear from him. Nice to talk to me. Asked personally things. I felt very open to talking. He finally explained his current relationship and kid status and asked about mine. I explained I have two kids and with their dad. I answered the rest of the questions he had asked in the email and I asked him a few in my reaponse. I also asked for clarification for why he contacted me. I guess i just wanted the cards on the table. 4 days later and he hasn’t responded. Now I’m more annoyed then I was 5 years ago. Now I don’t know if it’s the fact I have two kids and in a relationship or because I askes about his motives. Do I respond again and voice my thoughts or realize it’s done or see if he every gets back? In his defense he works a lot and has a kid, but 4days and he can’t send an email. Part of me wants to respond with how about meeting up for coffee, just to see if he would respond or show his motive.
Joy

January 10, 2018 at 8:12 pm

Hi, what does he mean?
1. He still loves me but theres no chance for us to be together again?
2. He wants me to date other guys?
3. He still wants to talk to me just because he wants to and nothing more?
4. He is happy when i did something i dont normally do for my self?
5. I will become happy again, Soon we will be happy again, but we are not going to get back together?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 11, 2018 at 5:35 pm

yes, you can do 45 days. If you meant his birthday, check the link below and all of those probably means he got tired of the relationship but he’s still used to talking to you so, he wanted to stay friends.
“Can I Text My Ex On His Birthday?” Let’s End This Discussion Right Now

Marie

January 7, 2018 at 12:01 am

Hi EBR,
if thats the case if he just said it out on anger or he fell out of love because he got tired, will i ever get him back? what will i do? im currently on the 11th day of the NC rule.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 9, 2018 at 8:26 pm

yes, there is still a chance and that’s why it’s important to improve yourself.. Do not chase and the change has to be genuine and done for yourself because if you’re doing it for him, that’s chasing..

K

January 4, 2018 at 4:23 pm

Hello,

I’m just wanting some advice. My ex and I dated for a year and were due to move in together next month and stay trying for a baby. However, he broke up with me over text the day after we had an arguement saying we don’t work as a couple and he doesn’t see a future with me anymore because I’m too hypersensitive and we argue too much (the arguement was over something not worth ending a relationship over).
I sent him a message asking if it is permenant this time (he’s broken up with me by text before with a similar reason but we got back together after two weeks) because I don’t want to break up and could we please talk. No reply. It’s been 8 Days of NC now and we’ve been broken up just over two weeks.
Surely if he wanted to break up he would have just replied to my message that yes it was permenant? That’s all I want to know! This man is 36 years old but he’s acting so immature. I think I’m clinging onto hope that his silence means that he’s not sure himself? Any thoughts? Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2018 at 11:58 pm

Hi K, .

It would be better to think that he had broken up with you. Because if he really wanted to make it work, he would have instead of ghosting you.

Marie

January 4, 2018 at 11:18 am

Hi EBR team,
what if he said he is fed up of my attitude or he had fallen out of love?
what does he mean about this?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2018 at 6:56 pm

it’s either he’s just saying it out of anger.. or he really fell out of love because he got tired.

Bailey

January 1, 2018 at 5:15 pm

Hello! My ex broke up with me a week ago. It was an LDR. Said he didn’t want to hurt me, and said he wanted to stay friends (among the other million excuses). I think it was just cold feet, as he was going to move here within 3 months. Plus maybe a loss of interest on his part, as I admittedly was very needy during the relationship. He sobbed and begged me to stay friends, and we continued talking for a few days, but I ultimately decided I couldn’t stay friends because it would hurt too much. This devastated him (or he was putting on a good act, with tears and desperation – I’m a cynic at this point). I sent him a goodbye email, and unfriended him on Facebook. He hasn’t replied (and I don’t expect him to). I did need to cut things off completely to protect myself and move on. Either way, I’ll be ok. But, I do still love him. Can I use this as a chance to get him back? Is this the end?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 4, 2018 at 6:59 pm

Hi Bailey

you can do the nc rule.. don’t add him back yet, just make your posts public.

Selle

December 29, 2017 at 10:02 pm

I have recently broke up with my ex just few days before Christmas. We are in temporary LDR since i have to take care of family matters here back in my homeland. Things were good during the couple of weeks of physical separation since we always talk and chat everyday. Even tried my best to keep things kinky with him even with chat or phone calls. Until the 3rd week when he suddenly brought up concerns about the uncertainty as to when i will be going back and then dropped a hint that his mother is pairing him up to other prospects since she doesn’t think that our relationship is serious due to the fact that it is LDR. He told me that he loves me and not interested in meeting those prospects but he might give in eventually to her mother’s demand. I told him that I trust him and should know better how to handle the situation and reminded him as well that i love him but he should not keep me at bay if temptations comes along. I’d rather leave him than to be two-timed eventually. Shortly after that, he suddenly ghosted on me and barely chat or talk with me. He said that he is always busy at work which is unusual since even though both of us are busy, we always make it a point to check on each other, either just a quick good morning or good night with kisses were never missed. This time it was different. I tried to reach out to him several times for us to have the talk but he always dodged those calls telling me that he fell asleep as soon as he is home or was too busy at work. I was able to call him my 3rd attempt and cornered him. Probed and then he confessed that he went out with those prospects on a coffee date. He doesn’t even have plans of telling me until i asked him. I’ve asked if that girl is a good potential/prospect for him and he replied ‘could be’. Thus, i’ve responded that we should end our relationship then. Because if he really love me, he should have resisted the temptation of meeting prospects coz that is a premise that he is already looking to replace me. He deliberately went out and met that girl even we were still together. LDR or not, doesn’t matter. He cheated on me that is why i broke up with him.

Anyway, after some banter both in calls, chats, i’ve blocked him includijng in social media. The only thing that remain is our emails. He previously emailed me that he knows that he made mistake and resolved that things will never be the same. He wished me Merry Christmas and told me to be good to myself. I did not responded to that email (sent Dec 25) afterwards coz I really am tired with him.

However, just yesterday (Dec 28), he sent a new email dropping a How are you note and said that he misses talking with me. He said that he hope i had a nice Christmas and reminded me again to be good to myself. As of now, I haven’t responded as i am puzzled as to why he is contacting me again just after a few days of disconnecting with him. I don’t know what to do now. I love him but i am also trying to move on coz those prospects and temptations are still between us. I don’t want to be hurt again. Please advise as to what to do with his email.

Appreciate your response.

Thanks!
Selle

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2017 at 9:24 pm

Hi Selle,

Nothing.. If you really want to move on, ignore it.

Melissa

December 9, 2017 at 9:17 pm

My ex and I were together for 4 years. This is after being separated for 13 years. Yes, we dated before and we have a son together who is 17 now. Anyway, we have been broke up for 2 months now. This happened when he was arrested after getting very intoxicated and violent one night. This isn’t like him. Now of course he’s going through a bunch of court stuff and he claims that he doesn’t remember what happened that night. He also blames me for all of it. I understand that alcohol can make people not think right. He has to be sober because the court says. Now he has to deal with everything sober which is something he’s never done. We weren’t allowed to even talk for a month. Now we can text and since then he’s told me that we need to move on and there’s no trust. After 4 years?! How can he try for 13 years to get me back and then walk away so easy?! He’s told me that he’s always been in love with me. Heck, he even told his ex wife that he was still in love with me. Is it really that easy for him to leave? Does he really mean it when he says he wants to move on?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 12, 2017 at 2:07 am

Hi Melissa,

is he still in jail? If not, where is he now? Do you still see him when he sees his son?

Jean

December 1, 2017 at 10:16 am

Hi Sorry, I don’t think I made that message clear…I pasted his whole text message to you so its starts with i’m happy you….and then he ends the message saying do you understand what i am saying?…….So he was saying should he basically just be on his own which is what he has gotten used to these past few months of not seeing me etc or should he risk getting back together…So yeh most of what is written in my other message is his text to me….

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 4, 2017 at 6:31 am

ah.. yeah, it seems like he’s afraid to try it again with you.. but that also means there’s a chance.. you just have to take it take it slow and don’t push it..

Jean

November 30, 2017 at 6:32 pm

Hi! So I had Broke up with my ex nearly 2 month ago. I messaged him a few days ago and we got talking. We met up over the weekend and I stopped over at his place for a couple of days…I asked about our relationship and he said he wasn’t sure what was going on. He sent me a message saying this…I’m really happy you feel differently about things I honestly am and not for my sake at all but for you. You should try remember that I felt like you might bee feeling now aaaages ago… I was ready to commit everything and got nothing back. This is the dilemma. Do I risk my mental health and happiness AGAIN for an uncertainty or stick to what I’ve been accustomed to this past few months? All to make someone happy who prolly should have been before? I did try that twice…didn’t work out too good for me. Do you understand what I’m saying?…..so I replied to this saying that I understand but I feel like this time it would be different…he hasn’t messaged me back. I’ve decided to give him some space…what do you think…do you think he wants to get back together…should I just do the NC again? Thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 30, 2017 at 8:54 pm

Hi Jean,

Sorry, I actually don’t understand what you mean.. What was it that you were accustomed to? Because from what I get in what you said above.. He said he doesn’t think you and him are fit for each other. That’s what he thought before but not currently..

Daffodil

November 26, 2017 at 3:40 pm

Both of us are mid 20s .My boyfriend and I have been dated for 6 months. Everything was smooth for the first 4 months and he showed genuine interest in me.. I mean he talked about our future together. There were times when he is down but it was I think normal problem in life. Then he started becoming distant and began spending more time with his new friends.. Never made plans anymore and I really miss spending time with him… One day he posted photos with his friends and because I was already upset, I charged him with why are you not spending time with me anymore and all that stuff. After a brief texting he told me that I wanted to tell you that I am not committed to things, and we move fast , should have let it develop… I felt really angry i mean this man is playing games with me.. without think out of anger I told him I wouldn’t want to waste time with such person and we are better off as friends..
Next day I realise that I love him so much so I called him to talk over the matter face to face.. he straight forward told me that we will be just friends please don’t be sad.. I feel ashamed to write here that I have even beg him to come back but he kept on saying that he cannot decide right now… Recently i told him whether he want us back together he told me that he is not good in making decisions and I should take if I need to and that he doesn’t have anyone close (girlfriend) right now… it has been 2 months now since breakup and I am confused I feel I am the one who is responsible for this relationship to end I regret everyday… Please give me suggestions..

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 28, 2017 at 2:05 am

Hi Daffodil

check this one:
You Desperately Begged For Him Back And Failed… I’m Here To Fix That

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909 thoughts on “What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means”