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Post categories
Cathy
December 23, 2016 at 11:47 pm
My fiancé has broke up with me 5 weeks ago . We have been together for 10 years and been engaged for 5 years (he proposed to me ) , we started to plan for the wedding since last year and everything was booked we supposed to be married next month on his birthday …. we went back to my home country in September and got married there witnessed by all my family and friends and we did wedding photo shoot and everything he seemed very happy and had no objection to any of it . But after we got back home he has act a bit wierd things like he constantly seems drifted away and he can’t sleep well at night he has became edgy than normal so I asked him one night if he is ok , then he said he is not happy and it went downhill from there , a week later he just moved out and told me he wants to break up with me . I have gone through all kinds of emotions and shared a lot with him by texting phoning or meeting up , he used to do whatever I want at he first few weeks after break up because he said he felt guilty but eventually he said he can’t help me anymore because talking to me make him feel depressed he can’t take my pain any longer he needs to protect himself emotionally …. so he has stopped talking to me . He also told me he feels happier after the break up 🙁 I am so desperate but I feel like there is no way he is coming back but I want him so badly I don’t know what to do
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 28, 2016 at 9:33 am
HI Cathy,
you got married when you went home or was it just a photo shoot only? Are you going to do the no contact rule?
R
December 23, 2016 at 3:39 am
My boyfriend broke up with me 12 days ago on the phone, without a fight or discussion of any problems beforehand. He said it felt like something was missing and it wasn’t fair to either of us. Then after texting for the next 2 days, he said he might be making a huge mistake or we might be happier, but he didn’t know yet. He said he couldn’t tell me 100% that he would never want to get back together, but he needs to do this right now. He told me he couldn’t ask me to wait around for him to figure it out because that isn’t fair. I am giving him space and we have not spoken in 10 days. I’m just not sure what he meant where first something was missing and then it changed to “I might be making a huge mistake”, is he just saying this to cover his back? I’m even more confused now
R
December 30, 2016 at 4:06 pm
Yes that makes sense. I am still doing no contact, and I have not heard from him. We were both pretty closed off from previous relationships, so I think that played a role in what was missing between us. He was into me for years before we officially dated, so I do think with my positive changes I have been making, I will be able to build that desire again. Thank you
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 31, 2016 at 8:32 am
You’re welcome!
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 28, 2016 at 5:12 am
Hi R,
it probably means the desire is lost.. and he might he get back because he knows he’s used to having you around and he’s not sure if it’s better to let this go now or to stick around longer
Jess
December 8, 2016 at 9:49 pm
Hi! So my ex and I got into a fight over some small thing, things got heated and he broke up with me after a year. Before I started reading these articles, I didn’t know what to do so I constantly begged for him back and he would just say “I’m sorry Jess I’m done with all the fighting” he also said he still loved me just not in the same way. He then said that we could be friends and I agreed, but then I decided I couldn’t do it anymore and so I blocked him on all social networks. He got really upset and so he blocked my number when I tried to reach him to apologize. We stopped talking for a week. The other day he messaged me telling me he hated me and how he wasted a year with me and he just now realizes how shitty of a person I am. He ranted about all my flaws. I told him I understood what he was going through and why he hated me, I agreed with everything he said and apologized for my faults. He said he cries in class everyday and gets depressed when he thinks of me because he gets angry that he wasted all that time on me. Is that true? Is he really crying just because he hates me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 12, 2016 at 4:49 pm
Hi Jess,
Nah.. I think he just says that but the truth is he’s really hurting but because of ego or because he’s just not ready to admit it..
Anon
December 7, 2016 at 3:41 pm
Hello,
Me ex boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for a year and a half before he broke up with me in October. We continued to talk as friends until I found out he had another girlfriend during the last 6 months of our relationship. Heartbroken as I was, I made the mistake of blowing up his phone angrily telling him off about the whole situation. After, I tried to implement the NC rule, but 3 days into it, he texted me and I didn’t respond. The next day, he called me saying he was over everything and wanted me out of his life. He said he still loves me but he didn’t miss me and doesn’t care about what I do. Again, I made another mistake and blew up his phone because I didn’t believe him. He said to never contact him again and to leave him alone. I just okay, I’ll give him what he wants and said take care. Did he really mean it? Should I startover NC? I’m confused about this whole thing because he had also said he didn’t know how he felt about the other girl. Please help!
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 11, 2016 at 10:31 am
Hi Anon,
he probably did that as defense mechanism because he was busted cheating.. And he’s still trying to hook you in by saying he’s not sure about the other girl so that he can still keep you both..I think you should restart nc so that you can heal and think
Yukiko
December 7, 2016 at 9:18 am
Hi, Chris.
Well, I have broke up with my ex for a month after a fight and I really wanna getting back with him. So I post a Facebook Status about missing him and say that my life is ok but it would be fine with him. He suddenly post a status said that He is very happy without me he don’t want me back in his life and he said that “I don’t welcome you in my life anymore. I forgive everything you have done to me.”
I don’t know what he actually mean by then. Help me please
Yukiko
December 12, 2016 at 7:03 pm
Hi, Amor.
We’ve been dating for 3 months. Well, in a month I have change many things such as hairstyle, hair color, my lifestyle, my point of view. And yeah, since I asked you I’ve tried NC RULE for 1 week and haven’t stalked him yet.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 14, 2016 at 8:36 pm
hmm.. It was short. Commonly, 21 days is recommended with that but with what happened regarding the post, I think you should do 30 days.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 10, 2016 at 7:58 pm
HI Yukiko,
How long were you together? How much did you improve in the past month? Do you want to try the no contact rule?
Mimi
December 4, 2016 at 3:17 am
So me and my first love got together in august of 2010 and broke up in 2013.. I was his first love and he was my first love. He left me for another girl. Long story short it was drama with new gf like hacking in my fb and my yahoo account i think it was the new gf. Anyways he would try to talk to me.. But he stop talking to me because of they drama that was going on making it seem like it was me. So one min i was block on fb then the next i was unblock then blocked then again unblocked.. He would sneak and talk to me through email without his gf knowing but this was back in 2014/2015.. The last time our conversation was not that good was 2015 mind you he has a gf now. So i havent talked to him since whatever we had argued about. In september of this year he msg me on fb asking how i was doing etc and saying maybe one day we will meet again after that talk i continue to doing me. Just a couple of days ago he msg me talking he was thinking about me and seeing how i was doing and next thing i know he started pouring out his feeling to me about the good times we had talking about how he hope to see me soon and how im a special girl in his heart and he still cares about me and he dont want nothing to happen to me and how he still have the things i gave him a very long time ago and how his gf be driving him crazy etc and then talking about he want to take me out to catch up on stuff. It was more to this but i am not trying to make this too long.
EBR Team Member: Amor
December 5, 2016 at 12:05 am
Hi Mimi,
if you want to get back with him, continue being you, improving yourself whike taking it slow with him.. Remember, he has a gf..you have to be careful not to be his girl on the side
Anerev
November 27, 2016 at 1:03 am
My boyfriend got on my fb and saw a selfie that I posted and he said he was embarrassed of me. I was not showing skin i think he is just overreacting. So we argued and he said that he was moving out in 2 months. Today is the second day. I try getting close to him hug him n kiss him he doesnt push away but I just dont get a reaction from him. What does this mean?? Is he really done??
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 28, 2016 at 4:34 pm
Hi Anerev,
it’s hard to say.. Maybe he’s just pissed or being stubborn
Lady
November 24, 2016 at 5:13 am
Hi,
I have enjoyed reading and getting helpful tips from the articles that have been posted. My situation is a bit different and for me it is complicated.
I have been seeing this guy for almost a year now and in that span of time, i have really fallen head of heels in love with him. unfortunately, he doesn’t see it that way. Whenever we have an argument, he always tells me that he is not in it for love. he doesn’t want to have a relationship with me and tells me that we don’t have a future together.
We stopped seeing each other for almost a month but ended up getting back together. I don’t know what our status because he doesn’t want to put a label on it.
what confuses me is that he seems really sweet at times, and randomly showers me with presents and surprises. the thing is, when i confront him about us, he gets annoyed and reminds me that there is no us.
I really need help in understanding him and making him see what my value is.
Thank you.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 26, 2016 at 6:47 pm
Hi Lady,
Do you sleep with him? If you do, you’re friends with benefits..check this one:
EBR 006: How To Turn Friends With Benefits Into A Relationship
stephanie
November 23, 2016 at 4:41 pm
Hello, my ex and i were together since august 2015. we have had alot of ups and downs but over all i think we had a good time together. we cared alot for eachother or so I thought. in july 2016 we had desided to take a break were he dated someone else for a month and i had been talking to another guy. In August 2016 he came back to me saying he missed me and wanted to be with me. obviously i missed him and loved him aswell and desided to give us another try. in september 2016 we moved about an hour apart so we were seeing eachother less and he also started a new job that required him to work many hours so we were speaking less in this time i became very insecure and and unhappy and needy the only time i was not bitching or complaining was when we were together. eventually he grew fed up of the arguing everyday and i dont blame him for that,. he asked for space and he said that if we ever wanted to work we would need a huge break and basically start from zero. all was goin well i had desided to do 30 day no contact. i was on day 8 when i realised he blocked me on facebook. i panicked and texted him. asking why he did this he saidcuz i know you probably follow up with me any way u can and you texted me right after i did so i guess i was right. so i asked if he had met somone he said he had been on a date thats it if i really needed to know. he said his goal is to have a family so he wasnt going to give up looking for that just because it didnt work out with me.i said well you gave up on me pretty quick and he said he had been trying for our relationship for the last 6 months. then he said your a great person with barely and flaws and we should have done alot differently but i just want to move on these things happen. i said why. he said im just tired im moving on sorry its just what i want seriously there is no explanation u did nothing wrong its just what i want. does this mean i have no chance at all ? 🙁 ive been crying all day im devistated.
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 26, 2016 at 10:26 am
HI Stephanie,
he is done with the previous relationship, and chasing doesn’t help with that. If you want, restart the no contact rule, do 45 days and just focus in improving yourself, moving on without totally moving on.
Alexsa
November 23, 2016 at 2:30 pm
Me and my boyfriend broke up two weeks ago from today. We were an on and off again relationship but he was the one who would always come back but this time he said “I’ve tried I thought this was going to work but I was wrong alexsa I love you but I can’t contact you anymore permanently” he said mainly because since he thought about it for a while and his therapist said so that kind of gave him the push to do it. Then he blocked my number so I went to Facebook and begged like usually for three days and I was confused because normally he would block me instantly on Facebook but he didn’t he just read my messages but never replied until he said “I meant it as for good I’ve tried and nothing turns good I’m tired of it goodbye don’t blame yourself blame me because I know I do” and that was it so on sunday the 13 I unfriended him and (no contact rule begins) stopped trying to reach out to him but I noticed a week after we broke up he unblocked my number but I think it’s just to see if I messaged him I don’t know as of now if it’s still unblocked & recently today he was finally back on Facebook probably to see if I would attempt to write to him. He knows if I ever see an opportunity I would message instantly but I didn’t. I think he should get the hint I’m not trying because before when we had our other break ups I would make countless of accounts to reach out to him and this is the first time I didn’t. We were madly in love with each other but since there were a lot of personal stress whatever affected him it would affect me causing the blaming, arguments and etc so he ended it I don’t know what to do as of now I still love him very much and I know I do because I’ve been left and cheated on before but I never begged for them to stay but this one is special to me please help me
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 26, 2016 at 11:22 am
Hi Alexsa,
do you want to try the no contact rule?
Emily
November 15, 2016 at 11:29 am
Hi to everyone on Ex Boyfriend Recovery,
Firstly, thank you so much for creating this website, it is the only site I trust for opinions!
Me and my ex-boyfriend were together for over 5 years (started when we were 17). We have been through so much in this time, he moved to london for uni so we were long distance, I moved to london the following year for uni and he supported me so much because I really didn’t like it at the start (he moved me into his places for a month and cooked me dinner every night etc), we had a misscarriage which brought us insanely close together, we have been on many amazing holidays – he still says these places are so special to him. We are best best best friends, just have a good laugh constantly and have the same interests. Everyone, including every member of his family, said they have never seen two people more meant for each other, Im doing a bad job of painting a picture of our relationship but it really has been an amazing few years. (his mum still messages me everyday, she says he doesn’t talk to her much the last year and has become distant from others swell).
Anyway, we were long distance for a year, we both take our exams very seriously and normally we work together or have summer holidays afterwards to put more effort into our relationship. So around June we began to argue a bit (I do know it is less than other couples but still for us it was more than normal!). I have depression and it started to become worse. He had a dissertation to do and it was getting him so down, his friends were being idiots to him and it meant he started to have an eating disorder. He got beat up in a club for no reason and I think it has affected him more than he lets on. Obviously we were there for each other through this and I was the one who got him through his eating problems. However, us not being in a good mental state and being apart wasn’t a good mix. So he broke it off – i shamefully jumped on a train and he took me back. looking back, i would have taken some time apart then and sorted my head out. We still had some lovely times when we were lucky enough to see each other but never tackled the issues and didn’t see enough of each other. Everyone says, and we know, we are better when together and never argue and just have the best times.
So 2 months ago now we ended. We have talked most days, i just found it weird doing no contact rule since it was not communicating and being apart that broke us. He has a really high pressure job and he said he wanted to really focus on that and not have arguments on his mind if he is trying to work- i personally think he got VERY scared that he was growing up (commitment phobia classic example) he constantly said oh god is this what I’m going to be doing for the rest of my life, he is living with people who he was friends with when he was 18 so think he is trying to feel young. whats the thing you can control – not being in a long term relationship.
We have met up a few times – he always compliments me, says i am so special to him and always will be, came to my birthday and all my friends said his face lit up when he saw me and was always asking where i was if i wasn’t around (also i was very very drunk so don’t remember but apparently i was talking to his friend about a kiss and he said to me don’t i get a kiss and i ran off dancing) they said he was trying to get me to talk to him all night but i was just having too much of a good time to sit talking. he was giving me lots of hugs when we met – afterwards i told him he couldn’t act like this if he wanted a friendship to work. the next time we met was awkward. But then we met on monday, it was AMAZING, my stomach hurt from laughing, we maintained eye contact (after i read one of your articles), he made me promise we would meet next week and gave me the tightest longest hug ever and said he always looks forward to our nights. he couldn’t look at me after and looked like he was going to cry. for the next few days he was messaging me constant – told me he has got me a xmas pressie, came to me about problems he was having, messaged me even when he was out with friends (had a few drinks), woke up in the night and messaged me about Trump. But then in the last few days has been distant – so i am leaving him too it. Oh and when we broke up he said he still wants us to go on holiday in summer.
I should mention that I have taken this time to drastically improve my mental and physical health – seriously I’ve lost 2 stone and my head is so clear and I’ve learnt so much. for instance, i don’t get angry or jealous because what does that achieve and only hurts yourself, i make a journal, i realise the importance of doing things by yourself and having your own goals. I need him to know things have changed so if we were to try again, i have now sorted the issues that cause the break up, but how do i let him know without ruining it?
I know he doesn’t want a relationship right now, and i know 10000000% there isn’t anyone else as he was shocked when he saw tinder pop up on my phone and said he was no way near ready to date (plus his job is so hectic he doesn’t have the time!) – as cringe as this is, he isn’t that sexual and wouldn’t have a one night stand.
so the question is, do you think that even though he isn’t ready now, do you think i still have a chance for future? how do i increase the chance?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 15, 2016 at 7:26 pm
Hi Emily,
If less time was the problem before,can you make more time now? Can you invite him more? Talk to him more before trying nc?
Jasmine
November 14, 2016 at 4:31 pm
My boyfriend broke up with me 2 days ago, we had a fight a week ago and I wanted him to know he had hurt me so I didn’t talk to him for a few days.
When I did and decided to support him now that he s having a hard time… he thinks I have ‘mood swings’
He told me that I was mentally insane… and that hurts but at the same time, he actually believes it I think.
The ‘fight’ was about him not spending much time with me.. and understand why he cant, but I only asked him to let me know in advance when he couldn’t talk to me for a few days.
He broke up with me before, but would always come back. This time he told me he wasn’t coming back.
I tried to talk to him the day after our breakup , but he told me to stop annoying him so I texted him that I was sorry about every mean thing I had said that day and I stopped talking to him. the day after that, he texted me again tlling me I am mentally insane and have mood swings and that was why he told me to ‘fuck off’..
I still love him and want him… do I have a chance?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 15, 2016 at 12:59 am
Hi Jasmine,
how many days does he go silent and how many times has he done this?
Clarice
November 5, 2016 at 2:39 pm
My ex who i dated for 2 yrs dumped me over text 2 weeks ago. He went completely silent after until i finally got him to text me yesterday. It was like talking to a stranger. He was very cold and mean. I asked him if we could talk when I pick up my things on Monday. He said about what? I said what went wrong or the fact you dumped me over text. He said “and?” He did agree that was shitty, but never said sorry or anything. I asked him if he loved me and he said not anymore. Which is funny, because the day this happened though we had a fight earlier that day, before I left hetold me how much he loved me(last spoken words to me) . I asked him ifthere was any hope of reconciling and he said he made up his mind…
I think most ofwhat hesaid is out of anger and though im not 100% sure why hes so mad. Im going to back away and work on me. This has got to be one of the harshest breakups I have had. Even worse than ones where a guy cheated.
This one came out of no where, things were otherwise fine. I think he bottled things uo over time and exploded.
Do you think NC will work in this case?
EBR Team Member: Amor
November 6, 2016 at 11:28 pm
Hi Clarice,
there’s no guarantee that it will work but if you want to try instead of moving on, it’s your only choice..
Niki
October 26, 2016 at 12:41 pm
Omg, I totally printed 3 separate monthly calendars and began marking them from the first day we broke up and stopped speaking. I also joined a gym yesterday to look better and occupy my thoughts. I’ve was in an 18 year relationship that ended badly. I still love and will always remember the best parts of him but will truly not miss the arrogance and speculated cheating that plagued our relationship. He’s almost 10 years older than me and has very deep rooted tendencies that made me not like him at times. Since our breakup I initially received a text saying “how can you do this?” A second text saying “it’s really over?” and a third text with negative emojis expressing his anger at me. I finally got a phone call yesterday saying he was over it and wished me well. Too soon to gauge what the future holds but change is necessary.
Maya
October 22, 2016 at 2:46 pm
I had a big argument with my boyfriend of 2 years. I said many things which were disrespectful and rude. He asked me to stop messaging or calling him and go away from his life. He also told me to move on and allow him to move on as well. I realised my mistake and messaged him a couple of days later saying, “I know that I have been extremely rude and disrespectful and that I cannot take back the words I told him. Take care. Bye.” He replied saying “Bye” and nothing else. I even wanted to apologise for the same but fear his reaction as he has asked me not to contact him and go away from his life and asked to move on as well. I still love him a lot. Did he actually mean whatever he said?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 23, 2016 at 5:18 pm
Hi Maya,
he’s probably just pissed.. are you going to try the no contact rule?
Gayatri Srinivasan
October 15, 2016 at 5:58 pm
I was told things like
“I’m fed up of this relationship”
“I’m tired”
“I’m fed up of you”
“It’s all over….I don’t want anyone”
The worst was at the end ….and obviously because I ranted and I sent him dozens of texts and tried calling him too many times
“just shut the f*** up and go to h*** girl….I don’t want anyone troubling me”
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 16, 2016 at 7:20 pm
Hi Gayatri,
I think you should read this one:
You Desperately Begged For Him Back And Failed… I’m Here To Fix That
Crys
October 12, 2016 at 1:22 am
My ex and I broke up recently after about 6 yrs (off and on) after a few arguments over the course of a few months. He was trying to live the life of a single man with home benefits. He told me that he hopes I find someone else who loves me but that he needs to move on with his life because he doesn’t want to hurt me or or children (2 together and 2 before him)anymore. He has a new girlfriend and is already living with her. Says he will always hold or bond close.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 12, 2016 at 10:14 am
Hi Crys,
when was the last time you talk and what did you talk about? And when was the last time you talked about the relationship? And do you want to try limited no contact rule?
kim
October 9, 2016 at 1:42 pm
I’ve been seeing this guy after we had a break for a month. We thought if we gave it another try things will work out. Just a few months into the relationship, i thought things were going great. we did argue about a few things, like where i am in his life and typical things like that. but he told me, since we got back together, he tried to work things out, he tried to be happy and open with me, but he just couldn’t do it. I’ve been good to him since we got back, I’ve treated him well even when his life isn’t going that well for him, so he says. he said he’s not genuinely happy with himself. i refuse to believe that what we had was nothing. because every time we were together, we were fine, laughing and enjoying ourselves. how can all those times together he could hide something like that from? im hurt, but more mad at myself for putting myself through that a second time. i forgive him for what he’s done and said, but i will never forget what he put my through.
Katie
October 8, 2016 at 10:42 pm
Hi there. I cannot wait for your perspective. My ex broke up with me 12 years ago. He never gave me a clear reason for ending things, we were 23 and he was about to move to be with me and had even mentioned marriage. In retrospect I believe the breakup occurred because he didn’t want to move and wasn’t ready for the life changes/commitments we had been discussing. Of course from the time of our break up until now I have made every single mistake possible for a dumpee to make. I’ve begged, I’ve badgered, I’ve cried and been a desperate mess. We spoke off and on irregularly the first few years after the breakup. He iniated contact exactly one month after he ended things and then called me on occasions and my birthday. About 4 years after dumping me my ex called me and when we got off the phone he said I’ll talk to you tomorrow. This resulted in daily phone calls for the next 3 years!!!!!! My cell phone bill showed thousands of minutes a month and we fell asleep on the phone every night. We could be on the phone for long periods of time without even saying a word. But here’s the deal: this whole time he swore he had absolutely NO feelings for me. He even dated a female or two through all of this. And there I was begging for him back, trying to convince him to come see me again (he lives across country from me). He would often say maybe or lead me around the bush about it or say no, and I couldn’t read if it was because he was scared to see me again or if it was because he really didn’t care. Finally after all of this going crazy I cut him off completely. I told him no more contact and that has lasted now for about 4 years. His explanation for contacting me so often without having feelings was that “I needed someone who cared for me.” Through that time we have only spoke on birthdays, and he has always contacted me on my son’s birthday too. This brings me to the present. I just had my 35th birthday and he texted me on it. But for the first time in 12 years since our breakup he said and asked several interesting things. He asked me if I was seeing anyone, he also told me “I remember us its been a long time” He told me I was a benchmark. And finally he asked “What about us?” I replied back “What about us I don’t know what you’re asking me?” Then he said “I’m just reminiscing about the sex.” Was he really only thinking about sex in everything he said to me? I think I’ve blown it again… See I realized I want to talk to him again, the way we used to talk. I texted him how great it was to hear from him, how I’m glad he remembers us and the time I was his girl was the happiest time in my life and that I still want to see him again… He hasn’t responded. Now I don’t know what to do. I guess my questions are: Is it completely over for us, is there no chance? And two: how do I do this right this time if there is a chance? How do I inspire him to talk to me again… I think he may be scared that I’ll go back to trying to win him again… Thanks for reading all this and for your help!
Katie
October 9, 2016 at 12:53 am
One thing I forgot to mention when he texted me on my birthday he asked for a picture of my face and when he saw it he said I hadn’t changed. And one thing about all those years where he called me daily and said he had no feelings, I had left a bottle of my perfume purposely when I went to visit him. Years later when he called me he would sometimes spray it and tell me he did so. Am I crazy to have always believed he still has feelings for me through all these years? Or is it just something I want to believe? Is there any hope to get him to make a move? Thanks again
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 10, 2016 at 7:57 pm
Hi Katie,
I think he said it perfectly. First he needs someone to make him feel important when he said he needed someone to care for him and then he said he just thinking about the sex..Most of the time guys say what they mean but you gave a different meaning to what he says and does.. and for three years you kept talking and hoping that he would change his mind, and now here he goes again.. And yet, you think you messed your chances?
Honestly, I think he just knows how crazy you are to him that he’s using you as an ego boost. If he really is serious with you, he has asked to be your boyfriend a long time ago. Instead, you became friends with benefits and that’s what he’s been missing.
If you really want a guy to commit, don’t invest too much and invest in the right amount and in the right time.. It doesn’t work in a way, that when you’ve invested everything the guy might change his mind and finally he will realize your worth.. Most of the time, men will see your worth when they can see how much value you put into it, how much you want him to work for you before you invest something, or some time or attention to him..
Move on from him. Too many years have been spent chasing him.
Lindsay
October 6, 2016 at 8:46 am
Hi,
My ex boyfriend broke up with me through a text last week. We have been together about a year and half. We dated 5 months before we became official. When we first dated, he told me about this girl that he is really in love with, and they hooked up for a year and broke it off because she went back to her ex. He was heart broken for a year, and he moved to another state where we met. He told that he is completely over her and they are only friend. Things were fine until this year. This is the third times that we had broken up.
The first time we broke up about 6 months ago, he was mad at me for checking his Facebook because I confronted him that I saw he kept visiting that girl page, and it was not the first time that topic was brought up. The first time I found out, he promised me that he wouldn’t do it any more so I forgave him. We didn’t talk for a week and after that week, I went over to his house to pick up my stuff, he broke up with me because he said he is don’t want to be in a relationship right now, he thinks that we should just be friend, and he is confused, but I know the fact that he is still missing the girl he dated a year ago even he told me that he stop texting her when he started to dated me because he felt that it is wrong and not fair to me. However, I talked things through with him, and he decided to give our relationship another chance.
About a month later, he and me had a fight in the evening, and later the night he texted me and told me he wanted a break. When I ask him, is he breaking up with me, but he never reply. However, he told his friends that we are broken up and don’t know what to do. We didn’t talk to each other about 3 weeks. Then I texted him and told him I want to talk to him, so he called me. On the phone, we talked and he told me that he missed me and why I am not next to him right now, so after we hung up, I went over his house. He was surprised that I show up, I told him I wanted to see the dogs then leave, but he insisted to me to stay over because it was late at night. He told me I could sleep on his bed then somehow we end up making up. After that for the next month, he kept telling me that he is not happy about everything in his life and he doesn’t want to waste my time. So I made a decision that after our one-year anniversary, we will take a break for month. However, within two weeks of the break, I can’t go through with it so I texted him. He called me later that night crying and I asked him what’s wrong and he told me that it would hurt me if he told me. But he told me anyway, he said he saw the girl that he dated and he is still missing her. I told him is okay, it just takes time to forget about her and I’m always will be there for him. Things went back to normal and I treated him better than he ever treated him before.
A month ago, he told me he can’t deal with this anymore, and that we don’t have the same passion and we have nothing in common. I asked him what he meant by same passion, and he started to complain to me that I don’t go to the gym and he wants a gf that has a fit body. I cried so much that day and I told him I could change to be whom he wants as long as he is with me. He agreed that if I can change, he would accept me as time progress when I keep up with my routine in the gym. However, last week, when I was on my way back from a family trip, I texted him to see what is he up to. He texted me with a couple words texts and I asked him what’s wrong, are you okay, and why you didn’t want to text me back. Then he started texting back that he is not happy and want to take a break from the relationship. He told me that he is not missing me or anything, and he brought up the story that he talked to one of the uber driver about his problem, and the driver gave him advice to take a break. I told him is really not fair that he is doing this this to me. I begged him not to leave me, but he already made up his mind. He told me that there are many people out there and we should try to meet other and I deserve someone better. He told me that he didn’t see any chemistry between him and me, and he can’t ignore it. He told me the more I try to convince him the more I am pushing him away. I really love him, and I really don’t know what to do to make him change his mind. I really don’t want to be wasting all this time and effort and trying everything to make it work. I’m really sad right now, but I can’t do anything about it. Please help!!!
Lindsay
October 6, 2016 at 8:52 am
Also, my stuff is still at his house? What should I do? Should I even pick it up? I am shocked right now and I really don’t want to give up this relationship because I really felt that he is the one. I don’t know understand what I did wrong to make him this way.
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 8, 2016 at 6:54 pm
Hi Lindsay,
to be honest, you kept convincing a guy who just likes and not in love with you.. first, you were a rebound and then right now, he just kept reiterating that he’s not interested anymore.. I’m not sure if there is a chance.. he will probably miss you because it’s human nature but what I know for sure is that you need to value yourself. You need to know that you have invested too much, that you have chased and you need to stop doing that.. Focus in that first during no contact rule.. Improve yourself for yourself and when you want to try with him again, take it as a restart.. Keep in mind that he has moved on and that you’re just reconnecting to see, if he still fits the new you and if he will make an effort for you while building rapport.