What To Do If Your Ex Doesn't Contact You During No Contact- How To Make Him Talk

2,697 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”

Confused

November 27, 2017 at 2:36 pm

I told my exboyfriend to never contact me anymore after having an arguement. Was it a good idea to have said that before starting the no contact? I just didn’t want the relationship to grow distant or even friendzone as he was still msging me on daily basis

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 28, 2017 at 2:08 pm

What’s done is done.. focus in improving yourself and being active in posting and then initiate contact after nc.

Lidia

November 27, 2017 at 8:29 am

Hi Amor,

I wrote to you earlier but you never replied. Before starting the no contact I told him to never message me again as I did not like the way he treated me. Do you think i shouldnt have done that before the no contact?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 28, 2017 at 1:20 pm

Hi Lidia,

sorry, I haven’t reached your comment yet. What’s done is done.. focus in improving yourself and being active in posting and then initiate contact after nc.

Lidia

November 27, 2017 at 12:05 am

He ended the relationship saying he couldn’t do long distance..but still kept on contacting me everyday..then his msgs became less and we had an arguement and i told him i didn’t want to be treated this way and told him not to contact me anymore. He replied saying i can always contact him when i want. I have started the no contact. I just dont know if it was a good idea that i told him not to contact me anymore

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 28, 2017 at 1:20 pm

Hi Lidia,

sorry, I haven’t reached your comment yet. What’s done is done.. focus in improving yourself and being active in posting and then initiate contact after nc.

Lynnie

November 20, 2017 at 7:20 am

My ex and I were in a complicated on again-off again relationship for 2 years. I would say our relationship had a fair amount of good times but he often told me that the bad times trumps the good moments.

He broke up with me 1 week ago citing that he no longer loves me & does not want to be in the relationship anymore. He said he still cared & is ok to be friends but he strongly insisted that I let go of the relationship and move on in life. It broke my heart to hear everything he said.

The past 1 week has been extremely tough emotionally & mentally. I initiated contact with him the past week & he obligingly replied to all my text fairly promptly. However, he repeatedly told me to stop bothering him, let go of what we once were & to move on.
Today is my first day of NC.

Given the above situation, does it even seem possible for us to reconcile or is this finally the end? :'(

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 22, 2017 at 12:47 am

Hi Lynnie,

check this one:
How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back

Sarah

November 14, 2017 at 7:31 am

Mine and my ex’s relationship ended very badly. I reached out to him the next day and i saw that he had blocked my number as well as everything on social media. He had unfriended all of my friends and family as well. I emailed him and he told me he didn’t want to speak to me anymore and someday we could be friends maybe. The next day I caved and called him from work which was a number he wouldn’t recognize. He immediately hung up and then texted my mom to say I wouldn’t leave him alone and if I didn’t he would get a restraining order. How long should I do the no contact rule? When the NC rule is up how will I reach out to him if I’m blocked? Do I still even have a chance of getting him back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 18, 2017 at 1:19 am

Hi Sarah,

how long were you together? Make your posts public so that when he gets curious he’ll still see them.. why did you break up?

Olivia

November 9, 2017 at 1:43 am

What happens when both partners are doing the NC rule. My ex broke up with me a few days ago and messaged me because he wanted me to have a better closure and told me that he wanted to be friends. Then he said that he needs some time for that and that is the NC rule. Before he messaged me, I wasn’t going to message him because I was going to go on the NC rule. Now we’re both going on the NC rule…how does that work?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 12, 2017 at 8:22 pm

Hi Olivia,

Doing the nc rule means you will initiate after a duration of not talking to him with the goal of rebuilding rapport to get him back.. he’s not doing the nc, he’s friendzoning you..

Mertopia

November 8, 2017 at 2:40 am

Hi next week will be the 4rh week of no contact with my ex, but he did make contact with me apparently accidentally by sending a link to an app & then said disregard scam I only replied because I wanted him to know I knew it was a scam..all I said tho was I figured. He told me he is very stubborn so I suspect it will take me to reach out to him next week I’m super nervous & hope it works when I do text him. My question would be do u think that scam text was a way to see if I would respond? I did block him from my phone for 3 days after I broke things off so I wouldn’t blow up his phone it was to keep me from texting him but I removed the block 3 days later. I’m wondering if he sent that to see if he could text me & it would go thru? Also I think I saw his vehicle drive by my house.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 8, 2017 at 7:31 pm

Hi Mertopia,

yeah, can be..

Tracy

November 7, 2017 at 11:19 pm

Hi Amor,

You recommended me to start a 30 day NC rule yesterday on a previous article. I began my NC yesterday and he text me last night I haven’t opened the message. He tends to text me everyday, general chit chat. If he does will I ignore him every time? I am fearful he remove me from his social media etc.

Thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 8, 2017 at 6:23 pm

HI Tracy,

you can send a last clean slate message that being friends with him is not working for you right now and thank him for everything, and just continue in nc and ignore further texts..

Saloni

November 7, 2017 at 1:33 pm

Hey I was in no contact with my ex and now its 1 month is completed. I didn’t break the rule . But something strange happened . We saw each other 7 days ago and I was expecting a call or message from him but he didn’t. Just a day after this incident he texted my best friend about how I am . She Wasn’t having the idea what should she reply him , she mistakenly replied him my actual condition ,I was going through that i still miss him etc. Now he got to know about me that i still care for him , I want him somehow .
What I should do now , should I reach out and again start NC technique or should I continue it.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 8, 2017 at 7:00 pm

Hi Saloni,

how much are you improving yourself and how active are you in posting?

Tracy

November 7, 2017 at 8:55 am

Hi Amor,

You recommended me to start a 30 day NC rule yesterday on a previous article. I began my NC yesterday and he text me last night I haven’t opened the message. He tends to text me everyday, general chit chat. If he does will I ignore him every time?

Thank you

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 8, 2017 at 6:22 pm

HI Tracy,

you can send a last clean slate message that being friends with him is not working for you right now and thank him for everything, and just continue in nc and ignore further texts..

Melissa

November 6, 2017 at 4:06 pm

My ex dumped me 5 days ago on Halloween for being too selfish and only caring about money and not him…which isn’t true.
I deleted all my social media accounts
because I needed a break and I don’t want him knowing what I’m up to. Did I do okay ?

Additionally my ex is very stubborn I texted him 2 days ago and no response…thats why my NC will start today and i know he already forgot about me but I hope he contacts me and it’s not over . 🙁 we where together 1 year and very happy for tthis to happen all of a sudden.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 6, 2017 at 8:41 pm

Hi Melissa,

if you’re doing nc, start being active in social media again in the second week and be active in improving yourself.

Alex.

November 2, 2017 at 7:36 pm

Hey Amor,

This is the second time he broke up with me. This time, I stopped talking to him for three weeks. Then I texted him upbeat and asked if he’s interested to watch a movie with me. He’s not responding. What should I do?

Thank you,

Alex.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 4, 2017 at 12:30 am

HI Alex,

well, asking for a date is too forward.. slowly rebuild rapport first before going out with him.. how long was the relationship and why did he broke up with you?

Hannah

October 19, 2017 at 8:42 am

I need help with my situation but it’s a very complicated one. I met a guy I know for 7 years via text in person 10 months ago. We hit it off, everything was great till beginning of March and he cut it off for cultural reasons because his family made him pick between them or me. After the break up we kept in contact and ended meeting again in April and continued out relationship in secret. Then in September he ended things again because we had no future and he wasn’t prepared to lose his family. We then kept in contact again and he even took me to France. After that we cut the relationship off. But, since then all we did was argue. Now since Sunday just gone I told him I need space and I will contact him when I am ready. So 4 days in and I have heard nothing and really struggling. Is there a chance that the NC could work even though our future together isn’t really bright because of the cultural differences. Could the NC make him realize that he can’t live with out me? I’m just so stuck because I feel he is over me and yet I am still so upset about the relationship ending. Please help. Thanks.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 22, 2017 at 7:04 pm

HI Hannah,

check this one:
EBR 054: My Exes Mom Made Him Break Up With Me

tania

October 18, 2017 at 6:11 am

A very good post indeed! thankyou but my case is a bit different. i’m in love with my teacher who had teached for 3 years. at a very beginning i had a huge crush on him but i did my best to never reveal it at all, though i did my best to be his Best student and successfully i became.This was what i actually needed.I knew that he had 4 daughters so actually i never intended to get more closer.Anyways, he secretly had a crush on me which he revealed during my last few months with him, and then; i couldn’t control my emotions and i too accepted my feelings for him. we kissed and were in touch for more then i year. I didn’t want him to use me physically without any relation, i just wanted to have a good terms with him. Anyhow, he did make me call on day and asked me to meet him in an evening, i stepped back at the last moment. He was okay that time but later he tried his best to take his revenge, he ignored me completely and did even blocked me on whatsapp . i went through NC phase and after one and a half month we had seen each other at a college during a short term. he cleared me why did he blocked me on whatsapp as his wife had read those msgs of mine. we patched up again. we had kissed for many time then. now i had completed my college. we were still in contact but he is rather a busy person, i made him few texts in the past few years and he ignored them completly. i asked may i call him? and my next text was i guess for once again you wanna avoid me. he answered when would you call? and then i didn’t responded. now i’m getting through a NC phase.i’m 20 and he is 42 idk why i’m in love with him? its been more than 3 years. i want him back. what would you suggest me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 19, 2017 at 3:30 pm

HI Tania,

if he’s married, and he’s not getting a divorce, it doesn’t matter whatever your age and position is, you should move on..

Ma

October 10, 2017 at 7:51 pm

Hello,
My boyfriend of almost 7 years broke up with me two weeks ago by saying ” you deserve better”. No contact for 2 weeks. Wandering if he would ever contact me. It’s heart breaking:(

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 11, 2017 at 9:59 am

Hi Ma,

How much are you improving yourself and how active are you in posting?

Aw

October 5, 2017 at 7:10 pm

I was only dating this man for 3 months and a month after the break up, I still cry everyday.
He was so amazing. He took my on trips, texted me everyday, very affectionate, and wonderful kisser. We were very physically attracted to each other. The only problem was he constantly traveled for work. He was probably gone more than half the three months.
There was a week apart, we saw each other twice, then he had a biz trip and I went on vac. Two weeks apart, the longest we’ve been without seeing each other. This time, something was different. Probably because I jokingly called him out for not responding when I said I was going to miss him before we left. Mind you, he invited me to go on this biz trip but I couldn’t because of my schedule. That day he also stopped me before leaving just to give me another kiss. That was the last time I saw him.
When it was the tail end of the two weeks, I was out of state. He sent me a pic of him hiking, I sent a pic of me going out. He never responded. I had a few drinks and this is where I ruined it. I sent a series of tipsy texts like “guess you’re busy. Goodnight” 2 hrs later “?” And then 2 hours later ” got the hint”. The next morning I realized what I did and apologized explaining I was tipsy. He never responded. A couple of days later the same man who texted me religiously every morning, was still ignoring me. I told him I thought this was an extreme reaction to a couple of drunk texts. He responded with a long text saying he felt I was angry about his schedule, has travel, work and pressure and doesn’t need anymore pressure and wants to be friends.
Fast forward three weeks I ask for closure. He then told me that he didn’t feel I was a trusting person, that it’s been 3 months and we didn’t have sex leading him to believe something wasn’t lining up (another mistake. I was following advice from a co worker to wait when I really wanted too). He said the drunk texts was a product of anger and frustration and he didn’t have time for that. Proceeded to tell me he thinks I’ll find the right person.
Next week will be a month of no contact. I don’t think he wants anything to do with me. Should I contact him anyway? I’m in my 30s and he was perfect. I don’t think I’ll meet anyone else like him

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 6, 2017 at 10:32 pm

HI AW,

it’s not mistake to not sleep with somebody if you don’t want to… check this one:
Do You Have The Same Values As Your Ex? (With Chase Kosterlitz)

Summer

October 4, 2017 at 1:44 pm

In this article it says that the girl should contact her ex no matter what after NC but I don’t think I can because he told me explicitly when we broke up that I should never contact him again and he will contact me when he is ready to talk “like friends” (this was after my 1 attempt at reconciliation 2 days after he broke up with me because he was so up and down about what he wanted… were long distance and I have an upcoming trip where I was meant to be spending time with him). The next day he called me and was quite rude and basically said he’ll message me when he’s ready there’s a lot more to the story but for the reasons above I don’t want to be the first to message because he really hurt me when he said he’ll message when he’s ready. What are you’re thoughts?

Summer

October 7, 2017 at 1:42 pm

Hi just to add the trip was something I wanted before we got into a relationship (and my ticket is non refundable! Lol) the main thing he influenced is the length of time I am going for. The power I have is he won’t know where I’ll be going when I get there or who I’ll be staying with. I’m just struggling to know if I should give it one last attempt whilst I’m out there which (if he doesn’t contact me) will be about 45 plus days of no contact when I get there or leave it because he said he will contact me when he is ready…
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 8, 2017 at 11:15 pm

Ok, go there but better if it’s with someone or if you still go there but not meet him
Summer

October 4, 2017 at 1:46 pm

Just to say it’s been about 3 weeks of no contact and I’m struggling to feel good because my trip to see him is coming up
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 5, 2017 at 7:40 am

Hi Summer,

If the plan for the trip was made when you were still together, then you shouldn’t go there anymore… Take back your power by making your own decisions.. If you realy don’t want to initiate, set a limit on until when you would wait and be the one to end the conversations and after that be the one to initiate conversations too

Lori

September 27, 2017 at 7:10 pm

I dated a guy for almost a year, he’s 50 & I’m 32. I knew him for a few months before this & he would come see me EVERY SINGLE DAY & spend anywhere from 30 minutes to well over an hour talking & spending time with me. Once we started dating, he’d take me out pretty much every weekend. He’s a very confident person, loves attention, even told me he’s an attention wh*re. He talked about himself A LOT & never really asked me about me. Don’t get me wrong, he has an amazing personality, he’s very generous & helps people all the time. But he would say things like “people put too much of an emphases on the word dating, why not find someone who you enjoy & spend time with them?” He never held my hand in public, only kissed me once in public,(except for in the movie theatre) then made the comment that I never hold HIS hand… A few months into it, I felt like I needed to ask him what he wanted & he said he didn’t know. I let it go & continued to see him. After a few more months it just seemed like the relationship wasn’t progressing, so I told him ” I’m not looking for anything definite, I just want to know how you feel about me & where you think this is going?” He was getting ready to leave on a trip & said he’d take the next week to think about it, I said fair enough. When he got back he said nothing, after a week & a half I had to bring it up again. He gave me the same response, “I don’t know.” He said he really enjoys my company, loves what we have & loves where we are right now. But isn’t emotionally ready for a relationship. I told him I just want him to be happy & that he needed to take some time alone to figure things out. And that I couldn’t be with someone who wasn’t 100% about wanting to be with me. There was off & on texting for a few days & we talked a few times. He wanted to stay friends, I told him I didn’t think I could do that right now. Didn’t hear from him for a few days, then he text me. And we talked a little. He told me he’d still like to talk to me everyday, I told him I couldn’t do that. Two days after I tell him that he calls me & is telling me about his new phone & new people he hired & at the end of the call he got a little flustered, tripping over his words. Then I hadn’t heard from him in almost a week. I saw he added his ex as a friend on fb & I got really upset, I text him & told him I never wanted to see or talk to him ever again. I blocked him from my phone & fb. The next morning he called me at work & I hung up on him. Haven’t heard from him since, he did like one of my pics on Instagram 2 days ago, I forgot he follows me on there. It’s been a little over 2 weeks since I started the nc & I’m not sure what to think. Why would someone take time out of their day, EVERY SINGLE DAY to see someone & go out on the weekends & end up saying they’re not ready?? Should I have given him more time? Is the nc going to work on him? What would be the best thing to text him when the nc time is over?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 29, 2017 at 12:15 am

Hi Lori,

Frankly speaking, you said it yourself, he wasn’t so keen in dating. He was just into spending time with people he likes. Looks like you’re in not the same page, and you’re hoping he might change. Check this one:
Do You Have The Same Values As Your Ex? (With Chase Kosterlitz)

Roxy

September 12, 2017 at 12:08 am

So I just completed about 40 days of no contact. My situation was unique before the 30 days since he wasn’t contacting me barely at all, and left me hanging with a lot of questions as to what was going on in the relationship . I didn’t have anything to go off of and looking back on it now it seems that he was going to take the path of ghosting me without saying anything to me.

Anyways fast forward, I contacted him about a medical concern and felt he needed to know because at that point I just felt we were in a relationship going through a “rough patch” he didn’t seem very concerned and after an hour of trying to ask him if we could be on good terms and till I could get through this condition, we would discuss at a later time our issues . He didn’t respond a yes or no that he would be there for me if I needed him and I was so wound up and frustrated I finally asked him are we even together or not , he decides to tell me no.

Mind you this was after I had given him some very bad an overwhelming news about myself, and a bout a few months of going back-and-forth with him trying to gain some clarity and I thought that was very selfish that he made a decision and expected me to be OK with it . To add I didn’t understand why he kept being angry with me, or was always irritated with his responses like I was interrupting something. I didn’t know any better, and at this point there was no talks about breaking up so I just continued on like normal.

Thus decided to start the 30 day no contact rule after he didn’t show any compassion towards me or my feelings or the situation at hand. He still told me to “keep him posted” but I never did because at that last conversation was when I started the 30 day no contact rule. I went forward with treatment and a surgery since then, and he is viewed my postings or snap stories of my progress but still has not had the decency as a concerned human, just to see if I’m OK. And that infuriated me because he claimed to be concerned about my situation yet watched everything that I’ve posted in the last 30 days and never said a word. So I’m not sure what he’s angry about since he’s put me in this position to question him, and to have all these types of feelings that I have no explanation for. This was very hard to do because we talked about having and spending a life together, and he was the one, so a lot of factors are in play here.

I went ahead and sent a text message today, I kept it positive and focused on a topic we both know which is aviation. The text message read this:
“Hey, how are you? Hope all is well. Things are okay on my end, elbow deep in school work. Your first hand expertise would definitely be handy for my aviation class assignments lol. So many little things to know! What’s a good way to remember all that stuff?”

I tried to target a subject I know he’s good at because he’s a pilot so knowing that, I wanted him to know that I think he’s good at what he does and if there was something from a pilot point of view that could help me study specific topics in class.

I’m not sure if he will respond at all, especially at his lack of communication within the last few months and patterns so I’m hoping that my message would leave an open line for communication, but what do I do from here and how long do I wait from this point forward? I hope he will reach out at some point.

Help!
Roxy

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 14, 2017 at 7:44 pm

Hi Roxy,

Is that your first nc?

Vannessa

September 8, 2017 at 10:41 am

I did no contact for 60 days after I ended with a guy I was dating for 5 months as it wasn’t going anywhere and he was emotionally unavailable. Last week he sent me direct snapchat which was a pic of him and his mate but I didn’t respond as there was nothing to really say back to that, but I was surprised as we’ve had no communication at all for 6 months. I want to reach out but not sure what to say to him? Was I wrong for ignoring the snapchat? Was that him trying to reach out?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 13, 2017 at 11:29 am

Hi Vanessa,
Let’s say he wanted to reach out, does that mean you’re goingto give him a chance?

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2,697 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”