What To Do If Your Ex Doesn't Contact You During No Contact- How To Make Him Talk

2,697 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”

Michie

February 26, 2018 at 12:52 pm

hie i broke up with my boyfriend about 2 weeks back and during the first week we were talking but I recently initiated no contact and he hasn’t contacted me, he is making posts on facebook like he doesn’t care….he doesn’t care or he is just trying to hurt me?
Purple2012

February 22, 2018 at 6:42 pm

Hi, my exand I dated for 3 years, lived together for two years. We had talked about marriage and everything. We’re both in our late 20’s. The past year has been tough. He lost his job, switched jobs a lot, and finally got a career job last November. Meanwhile I was working two jobs and handling majority of the house bills and groceries. We had been fighting a lot, mainly due to my insecurities and I felt like he was not helping as much as he could. I was awful at going through his phone, getting mad over simple things. We ended up having a fight the night before the breakup because I found where he had told a friend basically how he could do what he wanted if I wasn’t around. I confronted him that night and thought it was resolved. I texted him the next day apologizing and basically saying how we needed to sit down and really talk about things. He replied and said that he was tired of the “working on us” talks. He came home from work and said that he was tired and done. That there was nothing to fix. That he was going to live alone the rest of his live and I needed to find someone that wouldn’t make me cry. I begged and pleaded with him. He told me to get my stuff out by morning and he left to drink with a friend all night. I texted him the next day and told him I was sorry that I couldn’t handle my insecurities and I really wish we had sat down and talked it out. That I stilled loved him and still thought he was the one for me. I haven’t contacted him for 12 days since then. He removed me off snapchat & instagram, blocked me on instagram then unblocked me. He’s still friends with me on facebook, but deleted all profile pictures of us and detagged himself in a few photos. He hasn’t reached out at all. We broke up once before 1.5 years ago, but got back together after 3 days. I don’t know how to take his actions

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 27, 2018 at 9:50 am

Hi Purple 2012,

even if you’re blocked, be active in posting in fb and ig, just make your posts public. Be active in improving yourself and start the 30 day nc rule. check this one too:
EBR 003: Does Having Your Own Life Help You Get Your Ex Back?

cez

February 21, 2018 at 6:14 pm

Hi,

My ex and i broke up last month after 1 yr together and 2 years dating. I initiated NC right after. after 2 weeks, he texted me but was angry. saying i need to accept and respect that we’re no longer a couple. he was mad saying that im making up stories.
btw, were working in the same place but not really on the same team.
i replied asking what type of stories im making and explain i didnt make up any stories and that i accepted the truth that we’re over
since then up til now, im still doing nc and he has not contacted me as well.
should i recount nc after i replied to him? coz it sould be the end of 30days nc next week (initially)
he is the most stubborn person ever but i love him to bits and thats why we lasted because i accepted him for who he was.
help please.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 25, 2018 at 10:34 pm

Hi Cez,

Yes, you need to restart it a day afted you reply to him.. How much are you improving yourself?

Shan

February 21, 2018 at 7:42 am

Hi!
My ex and I broke up four weeks today but we are halfway through the no contact. It’s a very odd situation as he didn’t want to breakup but he was mentally in a bad place and felt he wanted to be in a good place before committing. He said when we broke up that he’d like to go for a coffee date. However, he cut me off contact after this.

He liked my instagram photo the other day, does this count as him reaching out during no contact?

He also told a friend that he was planning on calling me in a week or twos time but I haven’t heard anything yet.

Thankyou!

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 25, 2018 at 4:26 pm

Hi Shan,

He probably just said that to your friend but didn’t mean.. Nope, that’s not counted as reaching out..

Lacie

February 20, 2018 at 8:47 pm

Hey I read a lot of your guides. I wanted to share with you my situation through Email and hope you can share some advice.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 24, 2018 at 10:41 pm

Hi Lacie,

You can email us here:
Contact

Luna

February 19, 2018 at 7:04 am

Hi,
I just wanted to confirm, if he does contact me during NC I have to ignore him but when the 30 day NC has finished, I can text him? But only after it’s over. Wont he be mad at me for ignoring him and ignore me? It’s day 3 of NC and he hasn’t removed our pictures together off his social media. So I don’t know if that means he’ll contact me or wont.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 19, 2018 at 4:11 pm

Hi Luna,

You can initiate after nc and yes, you have to ignore him if he initiates during it.. You’re broken up and you’re not friends, so just let him be angry.. He’ll probably understand that it’s not your obligation anymore to reply..and most of the time anger is just a form of control to make you reply because he knows you will reply if he’s angry..focus in improving yourself and being active in posting in social media and make new friends

Misti

February 15, 2018 at 9:42 pm

My ex and I broke up a month ago. I just started no contact a week and a half ago after he said we had two options.. “1. we move on and 2. we get back together (the second one isn’t an option)”. I haven’t heard anything from him. While he was breaking up with me he told me I was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with but I hated everything about him. I never hated him. I was unsure of my future and unhappy with myself. He doesn’t seem to care that we aren’t together anymore as he broke up with me and moved back home. We never see each other and before the nc, I messaged him every few days telling him how much I missed him and he ignored me until I told him I was going to move on. He then responded by saying he just needed space. I’m not sure what to do in my situation. I’m already doing nc but if he does miss me he is showing absolutely no proof. Is there anything else I should be doing? He and I had a great connection. I don’t want to lose the love we had for each other and the future we had planned together.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 19, 2018 at 1:14 am

Hi Misti,

how active are you improving yourself and in posting?

Holly Cartier

February 15, 2018 at 6:28 pm

Hi, My boyfriend broke up with me due to me hurting him, I didn’t cheat or anything that extreme but I hurt him enough for him to end the relationship. At first he was angry but now he’s wanting to be civil with me and thanking me for the good times we shared. I begged for him back and apologised but that didn’t work. He is extremely stubborn and doesn’t often share his emotions, the way he comes across to me and the mutual friends we share is that he isn’t bothered and is ready to move on. Before this break up we’d been together in the past but broke up due to loosing feelings, I used the no contact method after that and it worked, Do you think the no contact phase will still work?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 19, 2018 at 12:06 am

Hi Holly,

It’s not guaranteed to work in any situation but yes, you can still try it.

Antoinette

February 14, 2018 at 5:53 am

Me and my ex been broken up for 3 weeks. The problem is we go to the same college. And we sometimes we pass each other and we act like we don’t know each other. So he hasn’t contact me. Only thing is he flirting with girls in front of me on purpose. I’m just minding my own business. The thing is I don’t know if I should contact him if he is trying to be the winner in this break up. He is the one who broke it off. I am almost done with NC I feel like I want to extend to 45 days. He seems to happy about it that we are apart.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2018 at 2:01 pm

Hi Antoinette,

Why not start with smiling and greeting him if you bump into each other?

Teresa

February 7, 2018 at 6:50 pm

I’ll try to keep this short and sweet: I dated my ex for a year and we were very committed to each other and we’re beginning to talk about our future together. We also have a very unique situation where our sisters are best friends and our families have known each other for the past 10 years. Therefore, our paths cross. He broke up with me about a month ago when we had a very heated argument. We went no contact for about 2.5 weeks and then he reached out to me and we cleared the air and agreed to stay friends. It was all still fresh though so I wasn’t too interested in regular conversation with him yet and went back to no contact despite having many messages on my phone from him. I’m a barber and he knows where I work and my schedule. So after having gone no contact for only about 3 days, he shows up at my work to get a haircut from me even though he clearly didn’t need one. We talked like we always do and I gave him a friendly hug before he left. After he left, he texted me that it was good to see me. I told him it was nice to see him too and returned to no contact. We’ve seen each other since then while driving, but he seems to be going no contact towards me too. I’m a little confused in my situation wondering if it’s even worth doing no contact or if at this point I should just reach out to him to pursue our friendship? I don’t want no contact to come off as something else since we did have that encounter at my work. Could you please guide me here in my situation? Thank you so much!

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 9, 2018 at 11:45 am

HI Teresa,

Are you confused because it looks like he’s ignoring you? Actually, it looks like he just cleared his conscience when he made amends with you and when he came to see you in person and now that you’re good, he doesn’t have to remain friends with you.. Send a clean slate first before restarting nc.. Tell him being friends is not workable for now and then restart at least 30 days of nc but don’t tell him you’re doing nc.. Be active in improving yourself and in posting in social media. And continue the routine you started during nc after it while you slowly build rapport.

Caitlyne

February 6, 2018 at 11:34 pm

Hi. I’m dating this guy for about 4 months but he told he doesnt want to be exclusive and started dating other people and he ended it with me because he told me doesnt want to hurt me because as of he now, he cant commit to me. He feels like that I am pressuring him to commit. Also, he told me he is detaching himself to me and would rather want me as a memory rather than me being by his side. Is there still hope if I go no contact on him? Can i still change his mindset on me being a pushover?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 8, 2018 at 12:34 pm

Hi Caitlyne,

Is that what you really want to change or you want to change dating others?

Kelly

February 6, 2018 at 9:05 pm

Today is the 10th day of NC but he has looked at a snapchat story or two of mine and I have viewed his occasionally. I stopped looking and he went on a streak the other day. I ended up peeking. We dated for 9 months- 7 of them were the happiest, most secure time in my life. In Oct, he suddenly started to be more and more withdrawn. He started off by missing weekends- stopped asking when we could see each other, and no i love yous initiated by him (except once) but he would respond when I said it. He became more withdrawn and I became insecure about us.I would ask if it was us and he would respond with no, its not us. Its life, he didn’t know how to describe it- I assumed work/ financial stress. On 1/5 I had got into a fight with my roommate and he let me stay at his house. He mentioned moving into together during a serious conversation- when I jokingly referred to how expensive apartments seemed and how it would be nice to live with him. He deflected with a joke about my 8y/o daughter getting a job. 1/20 I got jealous of him liking another girls picture but not mine. I cried and told him I missed him and wanted him to be how he used to be. It was even worse than before and then we broke up 1/25- I had to ask since he couldnt get it out over the phone no less. I got my stuff from his house 1/27…he said he was sorry how things went, there was no one else, that he WANTED sincerely (even when I told him he didnt have to say it to make me feel better) to be friends…that he cared for me a great deal, that he didnt want to lose a good person in his life- but he felt like he lost motivation. I told him it wasnt his fault that he fell out of infatuation. He didnt say anything…I never have felt so crushed in my life. Ive never had someone just ….fall out of love?…when it seemed so strong. I hope I can survive this…and if I cant be his…I hope I can be his friend.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 8, 2018 at 12:30 pm

HI Kelly,

you have to restart nc because you looked at his snaps and he knows that you did..You mean you want to be friendzoned?

Madison

January 23, 2018 at 10:32 pm

ThAnks so much Amor. I will try not to act on anxiety I have 🙂
The biggest part is not looking at my ex’s baby mamas stuff bc that became addicting but now I am actually officially dating a new guy who I like very much so it is my ex’s loss 🙂 as far as I know he isn’t over me but he hasn’t contacted for Two weeks

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 25, 2018 at 8:22 pm

That’s goooood!!

Moore

January 18, 2018 at 6:14 pm

Well i had a relationship for 2 month, he said he loved me after a month then he met my best friends and i met his family in christmass, everything was super good then he flipped. He became cold and distant and saying he doesn’t know what he wants and after a week of that he said he doesn’t have strong feelings for me anymore and that we don’t match, and am better off with someone else. I went in no contact for 2 weeks now, he didn’t text or call or anything and he went back to tinder after 1 week from break up, your insights?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 20, 2018 at 2:26 am

Hi Moore,
Did you meet him in Tinder too? Because it looks like he’s not serious with you..

Madison

January 15, 2018 at 1:04 am

Well I’m always doubting because of a different ex. But my recent ex wasn’t great with addressing that fear. So I’m paranoid like mostly bc of myself since my ex’s baby mama told me herself nothing was going on and she set me up to break us up but due to my trust issues with a separate ex it has caused me to doubt. I have ocd and anxiety so it’s like a paranoia my recent ex will get back w his baby mama when logically I really doubt that

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 15, 2018 at 5:27 pm

Be careful on what you say about yourself or who you say you are because you will unconsciously act in regard that.. Don’t own anxiety. Let’s say you feel anxious a lot of times. It’s ok to feel like that. Acknowledge it and accept that you feel it at that moment but decide to act differently even if you feel that way..

Madison

January 12, 2018 at 7:28 pm

Thanks Amor! Yeah as much as I wanted to help, I said no and then he said he was “joking” about the sex thing. Anyway I emailed him two days ago saying I can’t email him bc he’s bringing negativity into my life. He’s so angry and mean me and I think he’s been trying to get on my social media too. So I don’t know. I just am paranoid about his ex/baby mama like that’s what caused the downfall of the relationship so I should get past it but I’m so insecure worrying they’re together when I know if they were he wouldn’t have said anything to me about sleeping with me… and he would have rubbed it in my face .

How do I stop looking at his and others related to him social media? It only brings me down and makes me jump to conclusions and act crazy.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 15, 2018 at 12:49 am

you have to remind yourself that if it feels that way with him, if you’re always doubting, I think it’s better to just move on.

Alexis

January 11, 2018 at 4:33 pm

I apologize about the double comments, nothing is showing up.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 11, 2018 at 7:18 pm

That’s ok.. chasing is not attractive. If he’s moving on, then chasing him is going to push him away further.. Your chances will be higher if he can see you’re improving instead of chasing..

Alexis

January 11, 2018 at 3:31 pm

Hey Amor thanks for your feedback.
I’m doing pretty good w/ no contact I have not spoken to him in 12 days. When I see him at meetings we don’t speak and I can still hold up my side of the process with NC, being at the same fellowship is not my problem. My problem is that I am starting to think that maybe the NC rule can do the opposite and keep me out of sight/ out of mind… what if it makes it easier for him to move on & get over me? it’s been 12 days and I haven’t heard anything from him AT ALL, I’m even still blocked on social media. I’m really scared… Is there anyway that I can get individual help regarding my situation? I am so upset.. do you think he will ever contact me? When is the usual time frame that someone gets contacted by an ex during NC? Do you think NC could be working against me ? In terms of him moving on & getting over me quicker, possibly find someone else ???? I’m so scared of that I’m fighting my self so very hard everyday not to call him crying.
Alexis

January 10, 2018 at 9:29 pm

Thank you amor I’m pretty good with the meetings and seeing him and still not talking to him and he doesn’t speak to me either. That’s avtually the problem… I am doing no contact and I’m on day 12 which is supper surprising for me I never ever ever go this long without doing everything in my power to reach out to him, I’ve even showed up at his house plenty of times in break ups. This is deff new for me not to reach out this long. The part that is scaring me is that he still hasn’t contacted me AT ALL and it’s been 12 days I’m starting to get really scared maybe staying away is keeping me out of sight out of mind… what If it is actually making it easier for him to get over me? I’m really nervous.
Madison

January 10, 2018 at 4:50 pm

And I don’t think he wanted to bring his baby mama drama into the forum. And he clearly isn’t married bc no ring and he wanted to sleep with me. And he wouldn’t say that to me if he was with her. He would also tell me. I don’t even know if she has a pixel.. he could have just been making the whole thing up and talking about his experience with a pixel phone. He didn’t give her the phone though he returned it. And I think his life is so bad he was trying to escape online. If he calls me dramatic she’s way worse

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 11, 2018 at 7:14 pm

that’s good.. that means you just have to avoid sleeping with him and not to give him money.. It does look like he hasn’t moved on but it also looks like he knows you’re going to give him what he wants even if you’re not together.. so, if you really want to work things out, don’t give those things.. if he sticks to talking to you and works his problems out himself, then good but if gets angry just because of that, then move on.

« Previous 1 … 13 14 15 16 17 … 59 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

2,697 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”