What To Do If Your Ex Doesn't Contact You During No Contact- How To Make Him Talk

2,697 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”

Madison

January 10, 2018 at 4:25 pm

So he responded to me. He didn’t give her the phone he returned the phone. I think he was just saying that on an online forum to make his life seem better than it is. He isn’t with her which I found out bc he tried getting me to sleep with him and then he acted psycho. I jumped to conclusions thinking he gave the baby mama the phone when he told me he returned it bc why would he keep a blacklisted phone (I had notified my bank) and I do believe him. So he didn’t give her a pricey phone. I’m not even sure if she has a pixel or not I just assumed he was referring to her unless he was lying completely in the forum.
I am seeing someone else though. It is two months after the breakup and he is still angry and everything in his life is bad to the point he may go back to jail for a DUI he previously served for bc he doesn’t have money for fines and clases . I am pissed beyond believe that he told me he would f**k my brains out for me to help him with money. And I’m s virgin… I chose not to sleep with him. So anyway when I said no he said it was a joke he wasn’t being serious. And he’s acting completely insane like he’s acting like the breakup was yesterday and trying to say he can’t deal with my issues or I’m too much drama when I’ve just worked on myself.
He hasn’t moved on and I can tell but why is he being such a jerk to me!! I lent him tons of money to help with bills and I was the most supportive person in his life. So why is he being a jerk??
I also tested him to see if he still has my phone number telling him to call me and he still has it …
like he’s 31 and I’m 27 and why am I the one acting more mature
Lex

January 9, 2018 at 4:42 am

My boyfriend and I have been on and off a lot. We fight a lot because he has insecurities and issues. We are both in AA together so we often bump into eachother at meetings. I always stick by him thru his ups and downs becajss we have a mutual understanding of each others issues and we know that we constantly work on ourselves thru the fellowship. We’ve been together 10 months we were so Inlove even thru all of our ups and downs we always got back together… anytime I’d leave he’d call one after another begging me and then when he would leave me I started begging and crying and I showed a weakness way too much were it pushed him away. This time he broke up with me and told me there’s no more hope that he doesn’t ever want to get back with me this time… I have never gone more then 4 days without contact. I started NC 9 days ago haven’t heard a word from him… seen him at a meeting tonight we didn’t even look at eachother or speak. Do you think he will ever contact me again? I am so scared he won’t . The last time we broke up he contacted me on that 4th day saying he misses me so much. Will he ever call & if so when do you think ? When will I know I should give up? By when? If I haven’t heard from him?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 10, 2018 at 8:27 pm

Hi Alexis,

check this one:
EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex

Alexis

January 9, 2018 at 4:10 am

My boyfriend and I have been on and off a lot. We fight a lot because he has insecurities and issues. We are both in AA together so we often bump into eachother at meetings. I always stick by him thru his ups and downs becajss we have a mutual understanding of each others issues and we know that we constantly work on ourselves thru the fellowship. We’ve been together 10 months we were so Inlove even thru all of our ups and downs we always got back together… anytime I’d leave he’d call one after another begging me and then when he would leave me I started begging and crying and I showed a weakness way too much were it pushed him away. This time he broke up with me and told me there’s no more hope that he doesn’t ever want to get back with me this time… I have never gone more then 4 days without contact. I started NC 9 days ago haven’t heard a word from him… seen him at a meeting tonight we didn’t even look at eachother or speak. Do you think he will ever contact me again? I am so scared he won’t . The last time we broke up he contacted me on that 4th day saying he misses me so much. Will he ever call & if so when do you think ? When will I know I should give up? By when? If I haven’t heard from him?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 10, 2018 at 8:27 pm

Hi Alexis,

check this one:
EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex

Madison

January 7, 2018 at 1:40 am

Me here again. So I look at my ex’s online forum he posts in about phones. When we broke up he had done a warranty return with google using my credit card for a security hold. I cancelled it but I think he never returned the phone he was supposed to return and google is trying to get their money from me when I didn’t make the purchase. Anyway I saw on his online forum today that he said his “wife” had a pixel xl. This is the phone he used to have. I think he is referring to his baby mama and I am 99% sure they aren’t together. She did all she could to ruin our relationship and I know if they were together even moreso if they were married it would be all over Facebook.
Anyway seeing him say wife upset me so I emailed him this…
Did you give your pixel xl to someone instead of turn it in?
Google is fighting the charge and trying to put 900 back on my card.
They say the purchase was legitimate and was for a pixel 2 xl.
Did you give the pixel xl to someone in your family or Haley ?
I googled your name this morning and came across a forum where you say your wife has a pixel xl.
So I’m guessing whoever your wife is is who you gave your pixel xl to instead of returning it to google.
And now they want to charge me 900 bucks.
Please give me clarity.
Congrats on the marriage, by the way.

How do I remedy this situation? I am pretty certain two months after the breakup he isn’t married and I know he wasn’t before then bc the ex knew about me hence trying to break us up.
Should I just say nothing? I just didn’t care when I sent this I was angry.
Also someone had tried getting on my social media today and the other days and I think it’s him too.
Idk what to do. I feel bad for sending this email but him saying wife really upset me. Why would he lie on a social forum?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 8, 2018 at 6:29 pm

Nothing.. It’s understandable that you’re angry.. I hope you can settle the financial aspect of it with him.
If you’re right, honestly, he could have just said his her ex in the forum and it’s also confusing on why he gave a pricey phone to someone he’s not with.
For me, I wouldn’t give a pricey phone to someone who isn’t close to me.. I think you should move on

Cricket

January 6, 2018 at 7:18 am

Does the NC period even matter if persay the reason he broke up with you is because in reality he wasn’t into you?
I dated a guy for 3 months, saw one another often, it was presumed we were exclusive, though we didn’t have that talk. I met his friends, boss, & his best friend called me his girl when he didn’t realize he was on speaker phone. No fights, no arguments, I enjoyed his company & think he enjoyed mine. Then one day he pop over & said he doesn’t think he should be in a relationship with his current mind frame. (There is a back story but I think it could be the easiest let down). The reason I think it was an excuse is because when I got back on the dating website we met on (that same day) he was already back on. Which leads me to believe he wasn’t into me & our relationship was boring to him.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 9, 2018 at 1:01 pm

Hi Cricket,

If you meant trying it, yes you can still try it even if that’s the reason of him breaking up with you..

Madison

January 5, 2018 at 7:16 pm

Yeah that makes sense but I feel pretty bummed that his last email to me said it was his closure and he doesn’t want a redo and he’s taking it as a lesson learned not to be with someone when he has his own issues going on. I waited a week to reply then sent a really heartfelt message 9 days ago and he didn’t reply. Before his email to me I had done 30 days nc then when I reached out he told me if I contacted again he was changing his email and then 9 days later he sent the email I referenced above sayokf it’s a lesson learned he doesn’t want a redo and that he was sending that email for closure and has nothing more to say.. I feel so bummed that he didn’t reply to my heartfelt email I sent a week later. Also I only have Instagram and not sure if he looks at it…
do I just continue my NC, do 45 days and then try and rebuild attraction? I was hoping I could just get him back sooner that this. And I’m terrified he has moved on in 2 months
Madison

January 3, 2018 at 5:07 pm

Would he really be able to move on in 2 months? And if he hasn’t wouldnt I have no chance?i thought I want him to miss me and shed my needy persona

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2018 at 6:23 pm

probably not.. you’re just going to act on that premise because in that way you won’t be chasing.. It’s like if you’re trying to attract someone that you are interested in but doesn’t know you yet.. check this one:
What Men Find Attractive

Madison

January 2, 2018 at 4:57 am

How would I attract him if he has moved on?? Wouldn’t that make it too late?
Madison

December 29, 2017 at 11:22 pm

Hey Amor… I guess I partially understand that about it being closure for him. I’m worried that if I let him go tho he will forget me. What if he doesn’t love me anymore? I think he does but I don’t know.
I broke my second round of no contact though on day 16 :/ I sent a sweet and heartfelt email explaining that I would never see him as a failure like his parents do and saying how I never cared about his issues that I love him for who he is and the times we had together.
What should I do now? He hasn’t replied. I haven’t said anything else but I’m worried that I’ve blown my chances :/ is this hopeless? I was worried that if he meant closure that he would move on 🙁

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2017 at 9:25 pm

Approach it like he has moved on.. If he has, how are you going to attract him?

Annie

December 28, 2017 at 6:34 pm

Hi,

I’m really mad at my ex for not contacting me and I’m mad at myself for the times I smile when I pass him at work. How do I get over the anger, I’ve given his number to a friend and deleted it just in case, but, I want to text him and tell him off for not contacting me, something along the lines of “have you forgotten I exist” but also, in a few weeks I’ll have an email coming through that he will need to see, so I’m debating just sending that without saying anything.

Is my anger at risk of ruining my no contact?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 28, 2017 at 8:29 pm

Hi Annie,

yep, it is..

Madison

December 27, 2017 at 11:48 pm

But don’t I want it to not be closure for him? I want him to still love me and not be over me! I don’t want that email be sent me to really be his closure do I? Bc if it’s his closure doesn’t that mean he’s done for good and I have no chance? Breakup was November 6 so I’m really worried what if that’s his closure and he’s just done and over me when I’m still madly in love with him just doing NC to try and make him miss me

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 28, 2017 at 6:26 pm

you can’t control him.. that’s why if it’s closure for him, he has to think you’re moving on, so that he would be open on being friendly with you again once you initiate because he knows you’re not chasing.

Trish

December 26, 2017 at 4:41 pm

Told him no one ever made me feel so alone. Told him “Don’t call. I won’t answer” 2 weeks of no contact. I have seen the pictures of women that he has liked since on Facebook. Has he moved on? Or is he doing that just to piss me off cause he knows how jealous I can be?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 28, 2017 at 1:22 am

Can be just to piss you off..

Madison

December 26, 2017 at 7:25 am

Hey Amor! Thanks so much for getting back to me! So continue to stay NC even though this time he reached out to me?
Why would he have sent me that message? Do you think he really means it that it’s over? but basically he was saying he didn’t mean to be a jerk that I put him through mental breakdown and that our relationship was something he tried to have but it couldn’t work and he doesn’t want a redo but is taking it as a lesson learned to not be w someone when you have your own issues going on… and that he was sending that for his closure bc I had tried to reach out and he has nothing more to say.
Is it possible if I stay NC he will reach out again?
I’m scared it really was his closure! This is my second round of NC but break up was early November so still is fresh.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 27, 2017 at 11:00 pm

Yup, don’t reply..if that’s closure then good.. He has to think you’re moving on too through your posts

Madison

December 21, 2017 at 11:24 pm

Hey Amor,
I did initiate. It didn’t go well. He relied negatively saying to never contact him again. I also made the mistake in my initiation apologizing for my mistakes during the break up and saying I miss him and happy late bday and wanted to meet in person. Then the next day I said I still loved him and he again said do not ever contact him again or he will change his email. I immediately went NC again. However, this second time of no contact he contacted me on day 9 of NC. (Since he told me never contCt again I went NC again)
Yesterday he emailed me and said the following. He said he wasn’t trying to be an a hole but couldn’t handle the mental issues I was putting him through and that he had to go to the hospital (he blamed me) and that he’s better now but everything is bad in his life and went into detail how he has no money and no job now. He then said He was letting me know that this whole relationship that happened between us is something He tried to have , honestly, but it just couldn’t work. Then he said he doesn’t want a redo. It’s a lessoned learned to me. Not to be with someone when he has his own issues going on. Then he said he was doing this as a closure for him bc I tried reaching out and has nothing else to say.

I stayed NC.
I wanted to beg for him to try again. To tell him we could work, but I stayed NC. In the past I would have begged and offered money to help and we prob would have ended up getting back together that way but this time I don’t want the same cycle.
What should i do? Did I do the right thing staying NC (round 2 haha) ??
He also sent that same email to another email account ofnmine ten min later bc I hadn’t replied I’m guessing.
What should I do?
What is he thinking?
I really want to ask Chris too but I’m not on fb and my emails don’t get replied to haha

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 25, 2017 at 9:52 pm

CHris is handling a lot with the group, so, I can’t guarantee he can answer you here. Yup, you did the right thing by doing a second nc.. this time do at least 45 days, make it the last one, and don’t send that kind of initial text again.

Julia

December 10, 2017 at 7:05 pm

Hi,

I don’t really feel as if you dealt with the possibility that him not contacting me during NC could mean he does t care about me at all? What then. I’m still just a week in. I just saw my ex yesterday on day 6 of no contact picking up his things at workplace we both worked at. He seems so happy. He didn’t really try to talk to me and I didn’t try to talk to him besides saying hi. But I feel like he’s already glad we aren’t dating. He was the one that broke things off too.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 12, 2017 at 5:25 am

Hi Julia,

If he has moved on, seeing your posts, you in person, talking to you or of he heard about you from other people, would he think you are improving and moving on too? Would he regret not being with you?

Madison

December 7, 2017 at 9:01 pm

Hey so I have been in NC for 29 days counting today. The breakup did not end well. I threatened if he really would break up via text that I would never come back. He eventually told me in person then after threatening to block me 10 times he told me he was changing his number and actually did it. It really hurt me. Since that day he has not contacted me. He has been on my amazon account though… I am pretty off of social media bc he has a crazy baby mama who stalks me. He broke up w me bc I believed a lie she set me up for back in August and felt like I betrayed him by believing her and not going to him first. Anyway. I am dying to reach out today. How much longer should I go for. I have worked on myself so much during this period. I’m worried tho bc he was so angry but 10 days ago was on my amazon so idk what to make of that. I have a first contact text drafted. Should I wait a little longer or what should I do? Again. I’m on day 29 of NC and he hasn’t said anything and did change his number (I was going to reach out via email)

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 11, 2017 at 9:08 am

Hi Madison,

Have you initiated by now?

Bianca

December 5, 2017 at 9:45 pm

I have improved a lot, especially the sense of having control over my emotions is very empowering. I, however, still have feelings for him. As for posting, he’s not on any social media 🙁 We always contacted each other via phone or Whatsapp.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 8, 2017 at 5:47 pm

That’s good.. but the no contact rule is for you to improve and be more rational before trying to rebuild rapport, not really to forget your feelings for him.. If you do and you want to move on, good for you.. you still have to be active in social media, just make your posts public because he will get curious and will check your account..

Bianca

December 4, 2017 at 12:35 am

My long-distance bf of 5 months decided to call things off saying that we are very different. I said okay I respect his decision and did not contact him again. He again sent me a message asking if I will never talk to him again, and I said it’s better that we don’t contact each other. After that, I did not contact at all. He sent some meaningless texts like he misses me and some memes and emojis, but I did not respond. Then he completely stopped too. It’s been 23 days. Do you think I still stand a chance?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 5, 2017 at 2:03 am

Hi Bianca,

how much did you improve yourself and how active are you in posting?

Perry

November 29, 2017 at 8:37 pm

My boyfriend ended our 9 months long relationship last Friday. We had been fighting a lot lately; I blame myself for 70% of them which were resulted from my insecurities, family issues at the time and wrong way of dealing with conflicts.

At the beginning of relationship, he demanded me to get attached to him and depend on him more and more every day, but then he realized he can’t sustain investing this much in our relationship, so he distanced himself, made me feel insecure and led to what happened.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday of last week I begged him to give us another chance. I acknowledged where I was wrong and that I believe our love deserves another chance, but he didn’t accept it. He said even though it’s hard for him to end things, it’s for the best, he can already feel this heavy weight getting off his shoulders. He was afraid our unhappy relationship will cost him his career and friendships. So finally, on Sunday 11pm I let go and stopped contacting him. No contacts from him or me until last night that he texted: “you’ve been on my mind a lot lately. I kept wanting to text and ask how you’re doing but I am afraid you wouldn’t respond. How are you?”

Trying to follow 30days NC, I decided to not to respond. But this morning, I ended up saying:” honestly, I’ve had better days; but as time goes by I can see the light at the end of the tunnel brighter and clearer and I know that I will be fine sooner or later. You were right, past few months were tough. I hope you’re doing well as well. In the process of moving on, I’d appreciate it if you stop contacting me…at least for a while”

Is it over between us now? I feel like there is no hope for me to follow NC rule anymore and think that we’d ever get back together again.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 30, 2017 at 7:52 pm

Hi Perry,

Try it first..if it doesn’t work, then just continue improving yourself and move on

Lidia

November 28, 2017 at 6:59 pm

Do you think i started the no contact the wrong way ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 29, 2017 at 2:44 pm

Yes, that’s why you need to focus ib improving yourself instead of thinking about that…

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2,697 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”