The No Contact Rule: A Powerful Strategy That Works On Your Ex

6,800 thoughts on “The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)”

Katty

November 19, 2016 at 6:44 am

Hi there,

My ex nd I were dating for nearly 6 years, we’ve been strong throughout the whole relationship except this one time we broke up for a couple of months about two nd half years ago but he came back to me nd we’ve been strong ever since but about a month ago he started to become distant and not talking to me much, texted me on and off nd then all of a sudden he told me he didn’t love me anymore… I just don’t believe him, I can tell and feel he loves me.. When he broke up with me I let him go in a mature way and didn’t beg him to stay nd told him I will let him go if that’s what he really want and then I stopped all communication with me. All of sudden, he texted me after two weeks after our break up just to check how I am, what does that mean? What should I do next? I’m so confused! Please help..

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 22, 2016 at 12:34 am

Hi Katee,

I think you should do 30 days.. Yes, that’s right that you didn’t reply to him and if you are actively improving yourself, you’re on the right track

Beatriz

November 19, 2016 at 1:20 am

Hi my name is Beatriz, and I was wondering if anyone could give me advice. My boyfriend and I started dating last year. He asked me out on October 30th 2015. The first 5 months went great until I found out that he had been talking to another girl. They didn’t date but there was still a connection and it made me very jealous. He felt bad about it and he apologized a lot. I forgave him, but I didn’t love him the same. I gave him a chance to earn my love back, and he did. We’ve had arguments, but every couple has them. He didn’t like that his freedom wasn’t the same. It was hard to trust him after many times that he’s messed up by talking to girls I dislike. It’s not like I didn’t follow that rule though too. I didn’t talk to guys he especially disliked. I was always so loyal to him. We got to our year and things were still good until he said he felt unhappy and that things weren’t going the same as they used to be. I responded with ” Of course they aren’t, people change a little bit every day. ” he said he doesn’t have the same feelings he used to have for me and that he doesn’t think our trust or happiness can come back. He asked to be friends and we were friends. It was hard for me to suddenly stop giving him so much love. I tried so hard not to get too close to him, or call him cute names. Until yesterday that he decided that we can’t be friends. I had heard about the no contact rule. I’m willing to follow it. Today has been day 1, even though it is hurting me. We left off on good terms. He had texted me this… ” I’m going to be here for you. I’m still going to crack jokes, and tease you every now and then. I dont know how to express my feelings as well as you. But whenever you need advice, I’m going to be here. If you find someone else, I’m going to be so happy for you. I hope he gives you all I did, and All I couldn’t. Honestly I do. You deserve someone like that. God will find our ways, I trust him. We both should. My family isn’t going to think bad about you. I’ll make sure of it. I just want to apologize for everything I couldn’t do, or that I did wrong. I’m sorry. That’s all I got for right now, take care Beatriz ” I know he still has feelings for me, but in my opinion I think he’s scared to go back to a relationship. He said he had to focus on making himself happy. And not depend on me to make him happy. I can agree with him. I feel like we both need time away, but I just hope our paths cross once again. Should I take the 30 day no contact rule or the 21 day no contact rule? I would like as many tips. I really want him & I to work out. We were an amazing couple, just the trust, and happiness was gone. I hope time makes him realize that he misses me. I would also want to work on myself to get my self esteem up. If anything, I would love to be with my ex again. I love him so much. I’m not willing to give up.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 21, 2016 at 10:42 pm

Hi Beatriz,

It looks like he got tired and the relationship got boring.. I think you should do 30 days. If you really want a chance then it would be better to move on from the previous relationship and to really have your own life. Start it during nc and continue the routine even after nc, while you’re rebuilding rapport

Kez

November 14, 2016 at 3:07 am

Hi. Me and my ex of 2years broke up 5 months ago. I have been chasing him non stop begging for another chance we broke up as I was struggling with mental health problems which I’m now working on with therapy etc.
Last week he came through on email which was the only thing I didn’t have him blocked on trying to make conversation and in the end I ended up back at our old flat together with him where we lived and it was as though we were together again.
After coming back I was pushing and going on about us getting back together and he’s now turned around saying ‘ it’s too much ‘ and blocked me. I have not tried contacting him by phone, text or anything since. Do you think he’s playing me or have I ruined it? I’m on day 6 of the NC ! Thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 6:24 pm

Hi Kez,

He may have thought you haven’t changed. Right now, I think it would be better if you do 45 days.

Firsttimevisitor

November 13, 2016 at 10:35 pm

Hi Chris and team,

What do you recommend if you implement the 30 day nc and hear nothing from your ex in this period? Do i take it as he is no longer intetested? He was first to contact after break up 3 weeks ago and has answered 2 calls from me but iv not heard anything since over a week ago.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 5:13 pm

Hi First time visitor!

It depends, if this is your first time, does that mean, you didn’t really implement doing the no contact rule and just stopped talking? when and why did you break up?

Maya

November 11, 2016 at 9:05 am

Hi, I and my boyfriend had a relationship of 2 years. I was having a feeling he is cheating on me and we had very ugly fight. It escalted so much that we started arguing about certain other things as well and i in a fit of rage asked him to return all the gifts and money (which i had promised him will never ask back). I told him so many things that he felt insulted and disrespected.

He was so upset that he asked me to never message or contact him again. He also told me to go away from his life. At that point of time I told him that even I am not keen in this relation (this hapoened on 19th October) but I realised my mistake and apologised to him after a day and even told him that I do not want the gifts or money returned and I realise that I was rude and disrespected him. He read my message but did not reply back. I waited for 10 days and again sent him a message begging him to forgive me and talk to me but even this time he did not revert back after reading my message. Two days back I sent him another message saying, “I want you to know that I respect the fact that you can’t forgive me. If you want to discuss this in the future I am open to that. I just hope someday we move past this”. He read it but still no response. Its been 3 weeks since he has contacted me and am not sure whether he knows about the NC policy.

I have thought of not messaging him now as I do not want him to block me. The ball is in his court now and want him to decide. I just want him to talk to me once and forgive me. What should I do? Will he contact me if I do the NC now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 14, 2016 at 8:01 pm

Hi Maya,

if he’s doing nc that means he wants to get back with you but if he’s just ignoring you then it either means, he’s not ready to forgive or he likes that you’re chasing him..You cant control him but you have to stop chasing him.. It’s not helping you.

Cassie

November 9, 2016 at 11:51 pm

Hi I have purchased ex-boyfriend recovery pro and I am 21 days into no contact. However, I never thought to ask if this whole process would even work for my situation. It was a casual relationship that I wanted more than he did. I acted somewhat needy at first once he began ignoring my messages and he has since blocked me on facebook(about a month ago) …. but have been feeling amazing since about a week ago. There is no doubt he liked me a lot… I just wonder… Is it possible that the no contact period could reconcile what we had, or possibly something better? Thanks in advance

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 13, 2016 at 2:40 pm

Hi Cassie,

there’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work but how long were you together? How much did you improve yourself?

Giselle

November 9, 2016 at 7:36 pm

I had a 2 year relationship with my ex bf. In may i got mad over something i saw on his Facebook (he went to dinner with his friend and the girlfriend of his friend), but he didn’t mention the girl when he told me the story. Thats when i exploded and got mad, he said he couldn’t take is anymore and wanted to break up because he had the feeling that i didn’t trust him, and i broke his heart. Of course i begged him to stay, he said 3 months no contact and from there we would see what would happen. I couldn’t hold it for one week, that was stupid of me. I texted him 3-4 times, and he replied that we would talk about 3 moths. thats when i stopped texting him. we started talking a bit starting from august/September. I noticed that he was still angry with me for hurting his feelings and breaking his heart. I tried everything i could except the no contact. the last time we spoke was 2 weeks ago, thats when i told him that i tried everything i could and that i couldn’t take this anymore. as long as he doesn’t forgive me i can’t do sh*t. don’t know what to do now. I thought of no texting him for a while and see what happens. O and he blocked me on Facebook and instagram 2 days ago, i think its because hes so angry. and he keeps saying that he doesn’t feel anything no more, but when i tell him that thats because he shuts everyhting out he says that its true and that he felt enough once and never again.. ksjdhihe what should i do? i love the idiot so much.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 13, 2016 at 5:13 am

Hi Giselle,

try the no contact rule. Do 45 days because you’ve chased him for so long.. It’s not just about ignoring him. You have to be active in starting and having your own life, improving yourself and healing

Joe Sebastian

November 8, 2016 at 1:40 am

My girlfriend is depressed with a tragedy (Sexually assaulted) )in her life and after that she is avoiding me. I tried to help her and support her but she gets anger over me. She is very depressed. And broke up with me. She told me to see her as a friend instead being a lover. What am supposed to do ? Should i initiate a no contact rule ?

Joe

June 24, 2017 at 4:17 am

Okay.. 🙂 You guys are so helpful im now promoting this site for my depressed broken friends too.. Thank a lot.. But she is kind of giving me mixed signals.. So should i look like im moving on and wait for her to initialize conversation?
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 28, 2017 at 5:18 pm

Thank you! You can initiate conversations, just talk to her like normal
Joe

June 23, 2017 at 2:42 pm

Yaa.. Maybe.. And she deleted it after some hours.. I haven’t initiated a conversation after that neither she.. So should i wait until she initiates or take another no contact period.. Also we haven’t talked seriously about the future life its always casual talks.. As per you told me not to bring emotional drama after the no contact period.. So should i open up and talk to her? Any suggestions? I really want her back ..
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 23, 2017 at 9:44 pm

talk to her like you didn’t see that post.. just be natural because she probably posted that because there is still some feelings for you and she doesn’t want you to see it because she doesn’t want you to go away..
Joe

June 20, 2017 at 12:27 pm

Hi Amor, Thanks again for your guidance and things got better.. But i kind think i slipped it .. Yesterday was her b’day .. As she is in another country so we dont see each other. So as a birthday present i sent her a slideshow video with photos we spent time together as a reminder of the good time we had. And yesterday she said thank you and it was really awesome stuff like that. Eventhough i didn’t talk much to her.. But now she has put a whatsapp photo status saying “stop talking to your ex’ of some mentor with many quotes pointing out why to move on and it ended with you can do it. Some sort of message indirectly to me. But i secretly viewed it through some hacks without showing in whatsapp that i viewed it. So she doesnt know that i have seen it. And its going to disappear after 24 hours. So what to do if she sents me that directly or say me to move on. As she doesn’t want me to carry her because she thinks she cant marry anyone because of that tragic incident i said previously. But i really know that she loves me madly and cant accept of these facts. How to deal with this? What to talk to her? Please help
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 23, 2017 at 2:23 pm

Maybe that’s for herself.. if she says that directly to you, then I think it’s really to move on
Joe

June 2, 2017 at 3:05 am

So you are saying that i should not reply her until she makes 3 initial contacts even if it takes a month or more?
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 2, 2017 at 7:23 pm

sorry I wasnt clear.. I meant in the next 3 days.. let her initiate, if she does, reply.. if she doesnt, you can initiate again after that.
Joe

June 1, 2017 at 4:46 am

Hi Amor. I did as what you told me. And these days the conversations were going good and happy.. Even the conversation went for hours.. Some days before she told me that she gets a relief after talking to me if the day went sad. But yesterday she was a bit annoying while talking and told me that her plans are to be a feminist and wants to adopt a child. Also told me that she is going to complete read the bible and gone very spiritual. I didn’t react and changed the topic. But she was kind of irritating me and very pride through out the conversation. How to deal with it now?
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 1, 2017 at 6:10 pm

give her space.. let her initiate for at least 3 days.. so she can think about whatever is bothering her
Lijo Joseph

June 1, 2017 at 4:33 am

Hi Amor. I did as what you told me. And these days the conversations were going good and happy.. Even the conversation went for hours.. Some days before she told me that she gets a relief after talking to me if the day went sad. But yesterday she was a bit annoying while talking and told me that her plans are to be a feminist and wants to adopt a child. Also told me that she is going to complete read the bible and gone very spiritual. I didn’t react and changed the topic. But she was kind of irritating me and very pride through out the conversation. How to deal with it now?
Joe

May 15, 2017 at 4:16 pm

Will do so Amor. Now her whatsapp dp has changed a picture with quote ” I wish i could erase some memories from my mind” (I think the tragic incident).. And she might be in a 50-50 mind set now.. How to motivate and support her? Anyway thanks a lot 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 16, 2017 at 5:10 pm

dont respond or comment to it because it’s negative..if a negative act gets a response, especially if it’s just to get attention, she will keep doing that..
Joe

May 14, 2017 at 5:57 pm

Well.. If i said so its only because of your coaching..Thank you.. What to talk to her if she brings up these relationship and emotional stuffs? things like marriage, future etc?
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 15, 2017 at 2:42 pm

dont answer emotionally..do what you just did.. if it’s not a question, don’t answer it..if it’ a question, just reply indifferently
Joe

May 13, 2017 at 5:56 pm

Yaa Amor.. I did so.. Didn’t initiated any contact after that.. And today she texted me saying sorry .. sorry for hurting me.. And also just added that she will come to my wedding were ever she is.. (As she said months before like this after the emotional outburst of rape incident to me, that she cant marry anyone and will come to my marriage).. And i just ignored it by saying a good night and she also said her sorry is heartfelt otherwise she will be hurted by it all life and i replied dont worry to it.. Whats she trying? How to deal with these things?
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 14, 2017 at 4:09 pm

it looks like she wants to get sympathy or assurance in some way.. that’s good that you didn’t acknowledge it.. when you talk to her only talk about positive things
Joe

May 11, 2017 at 4:11 am

You guys are wonder, Amor.. I did as you said and she initiated a chat through fb last week. And asked my number. We did talked for around 15 minutes. Casual stuffs thats goes around our life presently. And currently chating on whatsapp few days. But she shows mixed signals. She hasn’t saved my number, so i cant see her whatsapp dp. Also chats in a restricted way. Stuffs like that. How to deal with these mixed signals?
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 11, 2017 at 8:13 pm

it’s really just to keep having your own life.. don’t rush things.. if she’s not sure with you, she has to see you’re not chasing her..
Joe

April 12, 2017 at 10:15 am

Thanks a lot Amor She stopped messaging me 3 days ago and i came to know yesterday from her sister that her whatsapp status changed to “missinggg…….:(” like this, exactly the day she stopped messaging me.. And surprisingly she replied to me yesterday night.. i replied in a funny and friendly way .. Now how to move forward to get her back? Whats are the measures to take ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 13, 2017 at 6:19 pm

continue with not initiating for a week but you can reply.. go back to being active in improving yourself and in posting.
Joe

April 12, 2017 at 10:14 am

Thanks a lot Amor 🙂 She stopped messaging me 3 days ago and i came to know yesterday from her sister that her whatsapp status changed to “missinggg…….:(” like this, exactly the day she stopped messaging me.. And surprisingly she replied to me yesterday night.. i replied in a funny and friendly way .. Now how to move forward to get her back? Whats are the measures to take ?
Joe

April 10, 2017 at 4:48 pm

Should i directly call her without a message? i dont have her number as we messaged through facebook. But i can get her number not from her but from other sources.. Also she stopped texting.. there wasn’t a chance of getting bored.. i talked in a very funny way when compared to our past conversations.. also texted only 1-2 textes per day.. So what to do Amor?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2017 at 8:52 pm

you can still call using the fb messenger call feature.. if she didn’t get bored, that can mean she thinks you’re trying to get her back.. so just proceed to resting for a week.. if she still isn’t replying or giving negative or neutral replies after that, rest for two weeks and keep being active in your own life before trying one last time.. if it’s still negative, move on.
Joe

April 8, 2017 at 5:19 am

Hi Amor, Good to meet you after a long period. I just wanted a few suggestions.. Well thanks for your guidance it worked a lot. I had two 2 no-contact periods.. second one was a bit long. And after that she started a text by saying a ‘hi’. I used your texting strategy for 3-4 days. then she stopped sending. after a week a sent her a funny thing which she responded well. and i continued using your texting tide theory again.. and continued texting in a funny and outgoing way. But now the chat goes like an interview/interrogation. that she responds with 1-2 words. what am supposed to do now? Hope you will help me
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 10, 2017 at 3:31 pm

I think it got boring.. rest for a week.. and then transition your texts to calls by next week
Joe

April 8, 2017 at 5:16 am

Hi Amor, Good to meet you after a long period. I just wanted a few suggestions.. Well thanks for your guidance it worked a lot. I had two 2 contact periods.. second one was a bit long. And after that she started a text by saying a ‘hi’. I used your texting strategy for 3-4 days. then she stopped sending. after a week a sent her a funny thing which she responded well. and i continued using your texting tide theory again.. and continued chating in a funny and outgoing way. But now the chat goes like an interview/interogattion. that she responds with 1-2 words. what am supposed to do now? Hope you will help me 🙂
Joe

December 1, 2016 at 4:30 pm

Thanks a lot Amor. You guys are really awesome. It really helped. I finally called her today after successful 30 days no contact. And the conversation was positive and great. We talked about 10 minutes and i ended it with an excuse in a happy way. Now what next? How to continue contacting her ? I mean the gaps between future talks, when to meet etc. stuff like that ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

December 2, 2016 at 12:53 am

You’re welcome!Take it slow.. try texting for now.. try the tide theory,and then when you’ve build enough rapport, go back to calls, when you’ve built more rapport and attraction, proceed to meet ups. Check this for the tide theory:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
Joe

November 23, 2016 at 2:37 am

Thanks a lot Amor. That was really helpful. Its been 1 week since the taxi talk. After that i didn’t called her nor she hasnt called me . Since she isn’t currently active in social media. I cant text her. I dont think she will call me as she told me during the taxi talk that she dont like to talk to anyone and like to be alone. Should i call her? How to go the conversation if she is sad and not talking much ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 25, 2016 at 4:10 pm

You can try to call or text her but honestly, if she’s really depressed, you have to have sincere conversations with her, because you’re just going around in circles
Joe

November 21, 2016 at 11:08 am

We had exact similar stage during our breakup time.. She was sad n wasn’t interested in talking to anyone.. I told her to seek professional help.. But she wasn’t admiting it.. She was only taking some anti depressants.. Thats it.. I haven’t called her after the taxi talk or she hasn’t called me.. Should i call her back? I think she will get mad if i call and talk about taking professional help. So how to deal this? Should i call n talk something positive like i moved on and also remind her of some good memories we had together.. What should i do? How to deal this?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 23, 2016 at 1:09 am

You’re not her therapist and you’re not her.. You’re just going to ask that if she starts talking to you about her sadness. She’s the only one who can help herself. You cant control her.Just dont enable and reward her behavior of being depressed. I’m nkt saying you should be angry but when she starts making you a crutch, be a mirror of truth because as long as she gets what she wants when she’s sad, she will not help herself
Joe

November 18, 2016 at 5:02 pm

Yaa..Thanks Amor. I meant i talked to my ex not to her sister, while she was on taxi. But she also told me that she lost interest in doing everything or talking to anyone, in a sad way. i mean like all being alone way and wants to be alone way. And I quickly changed the topic after hearing this. What does that mean? How to handle this if she talks like this in a future conversation?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 21, 2016 at 9:47 am

Because she’s sad.. She needs to see a professional. Next time ask her. Ask her if she is seeking professional help, why she’s sad, what her plans are.because in that way she can reflect and think.
Joe

November 17, 2016 at 2:23 pm

Hi Amor, Last day her sister called me when she was with her that whether i could pick her up because it was late night. But i said couldn’t reach and i will be late. She was scared to go in a taxi to home. But got into one and i talked to her till she reach home. i talked in a positive and upbeat way but she was sad and stuck with life and i came to understand that she didn’t move on like i acted infront of her. And i hanged the phone while she reached home in a happy way. Now what i’m supposed to do ? Should i call her?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 18, 2016 at 2:27 pm

Wait, who did you talk to? Her or her sister? and yes, she didnt move on, that’s good for you because that’s what were hoping she would realize while you’re in the no contact period. But be careful on being too available, like wanting to call right after that.. Let her be for now. I understand, she’s sad but dont put yourself in the friendzone by being there always. She might be just missing your presence, so dont satisfy it by always being there
Joe

November 15, 2016 at 2:36 pm

Thanks Amor. But she had some suicidal thoughts during that tragic incident. Will that thought come back if i completely avoid her? How long should i continue this no contact ?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 9:03 pm

you have to improve yourself and heal. The no contact will be useless if you dont do that. I think you should do 30 days. She has friends, and she’s doing fine right now. If she really needs you, you would know.
Joe

November 15, 2016 at 1:25 am

She called me on the phone yesterday. I didn’t pick. And now its the 15th day of no contact. She told my bestfriend that she is moving out of town on 11th day of nc when they accidentally met . What i’m supposed to do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 11:07 am

nothing. Just continue improving yourself. Treat it like a potential long distance relationship, if she is really moving out of town.
Joe

November 12, 2016 at 3:44 am

Thanks for your reply. It happened two and half months ago. But she told me it after one month. In that period she had total change and didn’t talked to me much. After a lot of struggle she opened up after one month. And said she cant love me anymore. She had totally changed. She was very confident and brave while talking. Didnt allow me to talk much. And said the old girl is dead she is a new one. And she told me that she cant marry anyone. So lets breakup and just try to see her as friend. I tried to convince her a lot. but she has moved on. She blocked me on whatsapp. i called her on phone but she didnt liked to talk to me. Sometimes got very angry on me. She told that she hated boys and now i have seen her making friend with new ones. I tried to convince her a lot but didn’t work. so i started the no contact rule. now its on 12th day. Is that a right way? What im supposed to do if she calls me during this period ? I heard that she is moving out of town. Please help as soon as possible.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 14, 2016 at 9:11 pm

well, it looks like she just changed the way she acts but deep inside she didnt really change. She still needs therapy. Dont chase again. Improve yourself. Look like you’re moving on. If she’s moving out of town, rushing things and chasing her will not stop her right? So, the best you can do is to become a different person..
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 10, 2016 at 7:15 pm

Hi Joe,

when was this? Is she getting professional help? When did you break up?

Natalie

November 6, 2016 at 11:51 pm

Hi, I had a boyfriend for 3 years , we had our ups and downs but he broke up with because one day I was not in a mood and treated him badly (only screwed nothing serious) and he broke up with me because he said I was supposed to change etc. I stupidly beg him and he said no he lost all his feeling for me , which i don’t believe. He knew I was bad so he said he will text to see if im fine, So I will start the no contact rule , if he texts all this are you doing good , should I ignore him for 30 days?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 7, 2016 at 6:38 pm

Hi Natalie,

if you are in the no contact rule, yes you should ignore it.

Joanell

November 6, 2016 at 11:28 pm

Hi,
I’m gonna keep this short and to the point. My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago. During the conversation he was unsure if he even wanted to break up but apparently I had hurt his feelings because I made a comment about the nature of our relationship. Apparently my comment hurt him deeply and he was afraid that we wouldn’t make it in the future and he couldn’t get past what I said to him. I didn’t beg, I simply asked him if we could work through the hurt comments because we both said a lot to each other out of anger and hurt. He said he didn’t know. So I basically just just told him if he couldn’t get past it then he should break up with me and he did and asked if we could be friends. I told him no because I was too hurt to be friends. I immediately inacted no contact, mailed his stuff back and deleted him as a friend off FB. Neither one of us have reached out since we broke up two weeks ago. I miss him but feel like I may have pushed him into making the decision to break up. Will the no contact rule cintact rule work in this case? I should mention we were high school sweethearts that rekindled our relationship which lasted almost 6 months, having both recently broken up with our ex’s.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 7, 2016 at 6:36 pm

Hi Joanell,

there’s ni guarantee that it will but it does look like you pushed him. Right now, the best you can do is to improve yourself and finish nc, so you can have a chance for a restart

Sarah

October 31, 2016 at 4:23 pm

My boyfriend and I of 5 years did not necessarily break up, but we have been going through a rough time for months now. Very high highs and low lows.. And he is like 2 different people towards me and it depends all on him and how he feels and who he is surrounded by – I am finding him to be very selfish. We spent pretty much all of the last weekend together and we’re great and then I left for a business trip and returned to him being completely different to me. Very cold and ignored me for 3 days while it seems like him and his roommate partied all weekend. And then at the end of the weekend after knowingly making me so upset he flips back to apologizing and saying sorry and begging to see me and talk to me. I have not responded. This has happened so many times and I usually fall back into in because he knows just what to say to get me back. I’m so fed up with this. I love the half of him that is so kind and sweet but the other half where he seems like a different person is making me miserable and feel terrible.
So I am wanting to do the no contact. I texted him during his time ignoring me how much he upsets we and I dont deserve this and don’t want to let him do this anymore. We did not necessarily break up. Is this a weird/bad way to start the No Contact rule? I want him to see that I won’t stand him being all over the place with me and treating me like crap, that I will walk away… even though I don’t want to. I just want him to be the really awesome guy… 100% of the time, not maybe 60% of the time. What do you think about this?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2016 at 2:07 pm

Hi Sarah,

talk to him first,.if he doesnt change then try doing nc

b

October 31, 2016 at 10:03 am

I really would like to thank you for writing this Chris. I would just like to ask, my bf and I were together 8 months. Through out, my insecurities got the better of me and I kept doubting him for everything, being over protective and possessive and tried to control him. Thereafter he wanted to break up once but I promised I would change and he stayed. Around 1.5 weeks back he broke up with me again and said that he couldnt do this anymore, he was tired. I begged and told him I would change but to no avail. Last time I spoke with him was around 3-4 days ago where I asked him whether he could take me back again. He asked me to move on. Been doing NC now and I am really afraid he would move on and that he really does not want me back. What should I do? Continue NC? I don’t have much hope because he’s very stubborn.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2016 at 12:27 am

HI B,

if you don’t do nc, would you continue chasing him?

Kaitlyn

October 30, 2016 at 12:45 am

My boyfriend broke up with me about a month and a half ago. I’ve liked him for about a year, and the first time we dated was in February, but we’ve broken up a few times already (we weren’t together for very long either of the first times, but this last time was about 4 months). I still think I have feelings for hin, but I’m very conflicted because I don’t think he’s ever going to want to get back together with me. He says he no longer has feelings for me and he’s been ignoring me recently (not a ton, cause we haven’t been speaking a lot, but more than he has previously). I want to try the No Contact rule but I’m not sure it will do anything for me. We go to school together and have a few classes together which he will try to talk to me in sometimes, but I just haven’t felt like talking to him lately because I’m kind of giving up. I really feel like I’m only telling myself I’m over him because he says he’s over me. This might have been a bit confusing, but please help me if you can, I’d really appreciate it.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 31, 2016 at 8:53 pm

Hi Kaitlyn,

Well, the no contact rule is not really about just ignoring him.. You have to focus in improving yourself. If he initiates a conversation, just be polite and short. There’s no guarantee that it will work but there’s not harm in focusing in improving yourself.

Xristin

October 29, 2016 at 5:25 pm

Hello, I am interested to buy your products.
In the welcome pdf you mention only 3 of them, The Exboyfriend Recovery Pro, the Texting Bible and the No Contact Rule.
After checking what each one features, it seems like if I purchase The Exboyfriend Recovery Pro, it includes all the other
two products and all the bonuses, is that accurate ? If not, how could I purchase all your products without paying twice for the same books ?

Another thing I want to ask is if the The Exboyfriend Recovery Pro includes instructions in case
– He was not a boyfriend but we were married
– If we have a child
– If he already started dating other women

Thank you, I posted here because you say I will get a faster response.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2016 at 11:34 am

Hi Christine,

I’m going to double check because from what I remember the exbf pro doesnt include the the no contact rule rule and texting bible..in the meantime check this ones:
Get Your Boyfriend Back If You Have A Child Together

Juliet

October 28, 2016 at 4:41 pm

Hello,
I am 7 days into the NC period. He sent me 4 messages on the day I left (he broke up with me bec of another girl while I was on holiday but he wants to stay friends) saying I left my stuff that he bought for me while he was on holiday and he will ship them out to me but also wanted to check if the address was correct. I didnt reply. His last message was, he will send it even if the address is wrong. And I still ignored.
After 5 days, he messages me again, again about the stuff which I thought he had already shipped out to me. I still ignored. Next day, he deleted me from Whatsapp so I do not see his pic and last seen. But he has not blocked me.
Should I have brokedn the NC and replied to him? Please enlighten me. Thank you.

Juliet

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 28, 2016 at 11:40 pm

Hi,

if you don’t need those things don’t.. If those were just souvenirs, just let him be..

she

October 26, 2016 at 8:43 am

what if i already unfriend him?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 28, 2016 at 11:49 am

Hi She,

don’t send a friend request during no contact, just keep your posts public.

Ash

October 25, 2016 at 12:17 am

Hi there.

Me and my boyfriend of 5 months broke up three days ago. We met online and hit it off immediately. I was taking it slow in the beginning due to bad past relationship but he wanted to be exclusive and I agreed as we had heaps in common. We only met during the weekends as I am a full-time post grad student and he works a lot. Everything was going well we never fought and seldom had any arguments. He even invited me to accompany him for Christmas at his parents place. But the last month was a bit rough on me as I am a international student and there were some issue with my visa. Soon after I started noticing that he is being distant and cold towards me but when I backed off and gave him some space he would always initiate contact. Last weekend while we were making plans to meet over the phone I casually told him that I missed him. After a long pause he told me that he don’t have strong romantic feelings for me as i do for him and he wants to still hang out but not want to continue going out with me, Even though it hurt but I kept calm and told him he doesn’t have to apologize for the way he feels but I don’t think I will be comfortable with hanging out as I do have feelings for him and it wont be fair to me. He said that I don’t have to make a decision right now but he likes me and likes spending time with me and considers me a friend. He also apologized for cold behavior and said he felt guilty for doing that. We ended it with him telling me that I shouldn’t hesitate to contact him if I ever wanted any help.

The next day was very tough for me and I wanted to contact him badly but I kept strong. Yesterday, he sent me a Facebook invite to an event we have been talking about. I didn’t respond to the invite.

I am just confused by his behavior. Also, wanted to know if the no contact rule applies to me as we didn’t end things on bad terms and I don’t think he is a bad guy in all of this. Please help!

Thanks,
Ash

Ash

October 28, 2016 at 5:21 am

In all honestly I don’t know. Maybe because I was too preoccupied with my studies and was too stressed out about my visa. Also, I feel we both never actually really communicated that well. I am more confused as when we were together he was very caring and attentive. It was only when we were texting or talking on the phone that we would be cold and distant.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 26, 2016 at 2:58 pm

Hi Ash,

yeah, you can still try doing the no contact rule, because basically, he’s trying to friendzone.. I just wanted to know, why do you think he lost feelings with you?

Cyrus

October 24, 2016 at 4:53 pm

So our school club (A) was invited to go to school club (B)’s meetings. But my ex goes to school club (B), and since I’m 15 days in of my 21 days of no contact, I’m worried if I should go or not…

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 24, 2016 at 5:38 pm

If it’s going to help you grow, go.. Juat be civil with him

Cyrus Swart

October 22, 2016 at 11:14 pm

. Right now I’m on day 13 of the no contact rule. But our GSA club got invited to join another GSA group for their meetings now on Mondays, where my ex goes to that GSA group. So now I’m concerned on whether I should go or not, because this would be a good experience club wise to improve myself, but my ex is going to that one and he doesn’t know that our GSA group was invited to theirs, so I’m thinking he might think that I’m stalking him or something and I don’t want that to be the case.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 24, 2016 at 5:38 pm

If it’s going to help you grow, go.. Juat be civil with him

Sam

October 22, 2016 at 8:32 am

Help!!!!!!!! Its been 3 years we are still friends after we had been together he talks to a girl but he said to me he was not in a relationship with her and not a long ago he we was being friendly and sweet to me even though he had said to me in the past to move on.. 2 3 days later I just went crazy from no where saying to stop msging me cause it always messes my feels and that how one mistake I done had changed him and stuff. Should I say sorry iv done this so many times but this was after ages I feel like I just sound physco as his made it clear now what shall I do helpppp!!

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 23, 2016 at 11:42 am

hi Sam,

nope.. stop explaining and chasing to him..if you’re in no contact, focus in it

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