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4,280 thoughts on “The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule”

  1. Taylor

    April 28, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    Me and my boyfriend recently broke up and at first he wouldn’t talk to me but I tried NC for about 3 or 4 days and he finally replied back to me after I sent him a message telling him about how my trip was going(trip I took over weekend). We continued talking over the night but then he stopped out of nowhere. I asked him if he thought about me and he said “no” then stopped talking to me. Maybe he just wanted the ball back in his court. Theirs no doubt that me and him had a very passionate relationship but also argued a lot seeing as we are both bipolar, stubbern, and are almost exactly alike. I just really want him back and he’s in a rebound relationship. I think him messaging me that other night was a good baby step but now I need to do NC again and get the ball back in my court and get more control and learn the RIGHT things to say when we do talk. I think I have a chance at getting him back. I have the right resources, just need to use them properly I believe.

  2. St4c3y

    April 27, 2014 at 9:04 pm

    Figure this guy type?! πŸ™‚ My ex and I parted ways after 18 months. It was a long distance relationship, he lived with his family – incidentally near my family, and I live 140 miles away. In the beginning we saw each other whenever we could, i was reluctant to open my heart as a long term relationship had finished 6 months earlier, but we had fun – lighthearted, and he was enthusiastic, passionate, persistant – he tried new things and was willing, and we fell for each other – but gradually I wanted more of him, and became frustrated that we would say goodbye on weekends and live separate lives, seeing each other evey other weekend by then – i wanted to date, curl up next to him in bed – but i was stubborn and my career kept me here, his debts and job kept him there altho he had said he would move, excuses always came. I missed him, I got frustrated with the situation and other circumatances and i feel i gradually pushed him away with’ real life issues’. He’s got his family and friends in the place he lives and grew up, and he’s had a couple of 2 year relationships before me that he said were ‘dull’ and bored him. He saw me a risk as my experiences have made me confident, a go-getter – and i think that scared him as it would mean regularly coming out of his comfort zones to try new things – but i wouldn’t push. I’m pretty sure we were happy the most part…then as i sensed him close off from me a few weeks prior to the act, so i said i needed space, and we kind of ended it by call as he said he’d been feeling the same way and i was devastated – it hurt and i’d had no idea he was feeling that way. A couple of weeks later i asked if i could see him, so as not to end the relationship by phone and we met, he said he thought splitting was for the best as he missed me. My heart broke, i told him that i’d had the thinking time i’d needed and missed him every second of every day and would consider moving, but he was closed to me. A tear rolled down his cheek and it was over – he never said anything to stop what was happening. What i haven’t mentioned is that i’m going away travelling for two months next month, i had planned to go last year, but i became ill and he was by my side the whole time. I knew he couldn;t afford to come but i offered to pay – it’s only money, but he was too proud and wanted to get rid of his debts and do a qualification. i’ve a life’s for living attitude… i’ve not contacted him since our final talk 3 weeks ago – he’s made his decision. he wanted to stay friends and previously said he didn;t want to lose me but i’ve blocked him on facebook and am doing stuff with friends for my sanity as i know i still love him, my heart aches for him the more time passes – but i’m accepting it’s what he wants – although part of me thinks it;s not actually what he wants but self preservation and it’s making it hard. I wasn’t a bad girlfriend, he had his freedom, fun and we made each other happy when we were together – but he gradually withdrew and gave up – he wasn;t one for talking, just thinking and i couldn’t read his mind, but i think the distance and my plans to travel may have been the final nail. I wish things were different, but i guess i am accepting i cannot change anything. From a guy’s perspective, do you have any clue as to what type of guy he is and it’s been three weeks and not a thing… He’s a proud Leo and he always called me gorgeous and said i was his lioness to his lion – WDYT? Thoughts gratefully appreciated…

    1. admin

      April 28, 2014 at 4:22 pm

      What were his relationships like in the past?

    2. St4c3y

      April 28, 2014 at 5:36 pm

      Hm, not a lot to go on as it wasn’t a topic I was comfortable talking about – Exes – but when we started to get to know each other he did write “no ms Adam, I did meet what I would describe as a soulmate, but upon leaving her ex he tried to top himself, she feels guilty, went back, the end”. But that’s all I know, no idea when that was or who it was with and we built a relationship after this and did things he hadn’t done in previous relationships, so I never thought anything about it…as i say, a couple of short term relationships (2 years) and a couple of ‘f*ck buddies’ I think, but he’s never moved out of home and he’s 36! πŸ™‚ Alarm bells rang, but he seemed to justify it…and i never thought he’d found someone he wanted to move on with…this is good therapy! πŸ˜‰ What are you thinking?

    3. St4c3y

      May 30, 2014 at 4:59 pm

      So, it’s been over 8 weeks of no contact and nothing – not a thing. I blocked his facebook friends and family in a bid to let myself move on. But NC from him is messing with my mind a lot now – did I imagine how he said he felt about me and our ‘connection’? My head wants to let go of him, but my heart and intuition says differently – that all is not as it seems – making it difficult to move forward. I go away tomorrow for two months – and having not heard anything at all is painful. Please explain what you think has gone on – I need the truth from a male mind..

  3. Lexi

    April 26, 2014 at 3:16 pm

    Hi Chris. My boyfriend and I were together for nearly 5 years. We had a close relationship and I had a good relationship with his family. They all thought we would eventually get married. 2 weeks prior to the breakup we didn’t really speak. He dumped me 3 days ago on facebook chat. He didn’t even have the decency to tell me to my face. He said he didn’t love me anymore. When we were discussing this I asked if we were still friends at least? He didn’t respond, but then the next day he randomly messaged me and said that yes we can still be friends. I did not respond to this and will not be contacting him even though I feel like I didn’t get a whole lot of closure as I didn’t speak with him face to face. Do you think he will eventually contact me and is there any hope of reconciliation?

    1. admin

      April 28, 2014 at 4:14 pm

      What was the reason he gave for the breakup?

    2. Lexi

      April 28, 2014 at 7:21 pm

      He basically said he didn’t have time for me because of work and was annoyed with me because I just finished college and haven’t been able to find work, though I am a full time carer for my elderly grandmother. It seems like all he cares about is working. His mother called me today and had no idea we’d broken up, she said he hadn’t said anything to her.

    3. Lexi

      April 28, 2014 at 10:59 pm

      He also uploaded to facebook a random photo from the internet of a girl standing at a crossroads…like pondering which road to take. Doesn’t really make sense to me when he already chose one road, he already dumped me

    4. Lexi

      April 29, 2014 at 8:29 am

      He jsut changed his status to in an open relationship…does that mean he’s already met someone else?

  4. Marie

    April 26, 2014 at 1:20 pm

    He broke up with me claiming he could not handle the long distance between us. We talked the day after as just friends as I had a few questions as to where it all went wrong. After getting all of my answers I told him I can not have a friendship with someone i am in love with. He understood and respected my choice. I told him I do not wish to speak to him as it will only hurt me more. Will no contact still work for me since he basically knows I’m doing it?

    1. admin

      April 28, 2014 at 4:11 pm

      Have you read my long distance guide. A lot of people have found it helpful?

    2. Marie

      April 28, 2014 at 7:44 pm

      I have. That is how I heard about no contact. I am not sure as to if no contact is possible after I told him I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. He knows I’m doing it. I texted him yesterday and no response. I’m lost as to what I should do.

    3. Marie

      April 30, 2014 at 5:08 pm

      The day he broke up with me he told me he loved me over text. He then asked me to skype him 15 minutes later and said he can’t do it anymore. He was supposed to come over that week but was unable to last minute. 2 days before the break up he promised me he wasn’t going to break up with me and reassured that he loves me and that I’m the only one for him. He texted me the next day and we talked as just friends. But I told him the day after I can not have a friendship with someone I’m in love with. He said he understands and respects my choice and hopes I have a good life between now and next time we meet again. He favorites my tweets but ignored me when I texted him.

    4. Marie

      April 26, 2014 at 1:29 pm

      He texted me first the day after and requested we be friends

  5. Amanda

    April 24, 2014 at 8:14 pm

    Idk how this whole NC works. My ex and I have spoke every week since our break up 4 weeks ago. Although he is “talking” to someone new. In the midst of our remenising and laughing about our great memories, we both mutually agreed that there were no bad memories. Not one fight, not one screaming match…in fact he had just taken me ring shopping, asked my family’s permission for marriage and even customized a house together. He even got proposal tips from my two best friends…two weeks later, I’m being dumped for no reason. Of course I did the usual asking of why and crap and then it dawned on me…two days ago…why am I treating him with such kindness?! He obviously doesn’t have respect for my feelings and has yet to say one bad thing about us together, but “doesn’t know what the future holds”…pssshhh I’m not buying it. So, I blocked him. Out of the blue. Being sweet for a month and kissing his rump, I blocked him and deleted his number. Then he text yesterday to remind me of an important apt I had today to which I replied who is this. My point is, why would NC make a man want to come back when if the woman was that important to begin with, why wouldn’t he be beating down her door instead of play the tug of war. No matter what the articles say, idk men and doubt I ever will. I sure don’t think my ex will be contacting me regardless how long we go NC.

    1. admin

      April 26, 2014 at 1:31 am

      Usually NC is only the first step of this entire process. In order to get him to chase you do have to do stuff.

  6. Sherry

    April 24, 2014 at 6:17 pm

    My ex-boyfriend left last Friday. He had been getting very cold and distant (both emotionally and physically) the past few months, even picking little fights that would eventually blow up into huge arguments. He said he couldn’t take the arguing anymore and felt it was best that he leave. He tells me that he tells all of our friends that I am the most amazing woman he has ever gone out with and that he will always love me. I have two teenage daughters and he has been very active in their lives. He wants to continue to be active as well. He texts them every night – they do not respond- they are still very upset and hurt. I have done the no contact. Part of the problem is that we are both active members of a group that raises money for our Veterans so we are bound to bump into each other at least 3 to 4 times per month. He has been contacting me to see how my daughters are doing, to set up times to pick up the remainder of his items etc. We are still friends on Facebook so he sees that I have become very active again and have started going out and meeting new and old friends alike. He called me the other night and I chose not to answer. He became very irate. He texted me 2 evenings ago and I didn’t respond so he texted me the following morning to which I responded and kept it very much to the point. During our brief conversations, he keeps reiterating why he felt it best that he leave. Again he texted me yesterday evening and again this morning at 5 am about details regarding picking up his items. After the fact, he stated that he had β€œheard” that I was seeing someone else. He seemed very cool with it, actually stating that he was β€œglad for me” and that β€œhe was cool with that” and the only reason he was asking was because he β€œdidn’t want to cause any waves by texting or talking to me”. I NEVER initiate contact. Should I do absolutely no contact once he grabs the remainder of his stuff and because my girls are teenagers, he can contact them directly? Is he still emotionally invested? Any advice would be much appreciated!

    1. admin

      April 25, 2014 at 11:16 pm

      Is he their father?

      If not, then I would recommend full NC.

    2. Sherry

      April 26, 2014 at 3:53 pm

      He is not their father. Thank you for your response

    3. admin

      April 28, 2014 at 4:15 pm

      Do you find it strange that he wants to remain in their lives? I mean, I guess it is a nice sentiment but I find it a little strange too.

    4. Sherry

      May 1, 2014 at 8:33 pm

      I guess I never looked at it that way. He was very active in their lives. He was more of a father to them than their birth father was. He still texts them every night telling them that he loves them and misses them. They wont respond as they are very upset and hurt. He even posted something on FB yesterday, trying to reach out to them stating “that even though he had closed a chapter in his life, there were a few things in this chapter that he didn’t want to lose” and he mentioned them. We were the only family that he ever really had.

    5. Sherry

      May 1, 2014 at 8:38 pm

      He and I were together for 4 years.

  7. Minako

    April 24, 2014 at 4:57 pm

    He just broke up with me completely.
    There had been one which was on the phone and i didnt want it it end it like this and give it another try. Then few weeks later he broke up again (we planned to go ski holiday with his family, his reasons were that he said he doesnt love me anymore and hes going to japan anyways (for a year, maybe forever when he can -i dont really know) so he sees no future with me, i insisted to stay with him till hes gone and i will completely let him go, and he agreed to it. During those times he had slept with me too. Eventually i was so emotional insecure and everything i started to creep him out. So he ended the relationship completely. Iasked him wether hes in love with someone else. He remained silence and was kinda shocked. I told him he can tell me the truth. He said yes, i asked him wether he kissed her yet, he said no. He doesnt know how she feels towards him. And then i asked him whether he would start a relationship with her, he said he doesnt know maybe yes. Yet he told me hes going anyway, but would start a new relationship? He also said maybe he will break up with her too when he goes – im completely confused. Long story short we parted friendly. But i really dont know what to do. I didnt text him or anything (i wouldnt at all) but he has to pick some of his stuff at my home….(xbox, probably clothes too) how should react to it? He hasnt contacted me yet… but i really dont know what to say whether i should answer him or not. I met with his brother today, since he was teaching me something. I didnt cry or anything, i acted as if everything was ok. As soon as he left ofc i cried…
    So…. i wonder if i still have a chance with him…. and how i should deal with it when he wants to get his stuff during the nc rule….

    1. admin

      April 25, 2014 at 10:14 pm

      You still have a chance of course and you are allowed to break NC to exchange stuff.

  8. Jemma

    April 24, 2014 at 10:13 am

    Hi Chris. My boyfriend and I ended our relationship only 2 days ago. Although 4 weeks ago he had asked for a break to clear his head as he wasn’t sure what he wanted anymore. After a week on a break he told me he wanted to get our relationship back on track. I was delighted with this and couldnt wait to start spending time with him again. It took a further week before he made himself available to see me after making many excuses and we began seeing each other regularly. But it wasnt the same. He had become very unaffectionate and focused mainly on his friends. I was no longer a priority which in turn hurt me badly. During a night in with two of our friends who are also in a relationship 2 nights ago he avoided me even though we went together. I knew something was seriously up and on the drive home i asked if i had done something to upset him. This is when we ended the relationship as he said he really wants to be alone right now and have time to himself to get his head back together. We talked and i remained polite and even though a few tears were shed i told him that i was unhappy with the way things had been after the break also and that this was probably for the best(i lied i want to be with him so badly). We have been friends for 10 years and only in a relationship 8 months, so we discussed how we didnt want to lose our friendship. We also have the same group of friends which makes things more difficult to deal with. I have a daughter from a previous relationship who he has built a strong bond with too – he said he wants to still see her sometimes as she means a lot to him. I made an announcement on facebook(simply to avoid constant questions and having to relive the break up continously) saying that we had decided to end our relationship and that there is no animosity between either of us and that we still consider each other to be very close friends. I mentioned that “i love and respect him and am looking forward to moving on and seeing each of us be happy again.” I also ended the announcement by saying – “Heres to a good Friendship!” He commented saying – “heres to a good friendship jem! :D” Basically we have ended on good terms and told one another we will speak soon as he has to collect his things from my house and return my key to me. This is where im finding a problem. I began NC yesterday morning. (We last spoke after the facebook thing 2 days ago). Im feeling positive and think i will manage to be strong with the hopeful intentions of winning him back! I see myself marrying this guy i love him so much. My question is – What should i do if the inevitable happens and he contacts me asking to come and collect his things? I have made arrangements to keep really busy and start enjoying my social life again (weekend away, nights out etc) I feel NC will benefit my mindset more than anything and will make me a happier person. But honestly, from your experience and a professional opinion: Do you think my chances of getting him back are high? We have a holiday booked for September which we have agreed to cancel also. Thanks for your time and I look forward to hearing from you.

    1. admin

      April 24, 2014 at 4:12 pm

      I think you have a shot… I really mean it.

    2. Jemma

      April 28, 2014 at 3:18 pm

      Hi chris. Day 6 NC and my ex text me today asking when i will be going to cancel our holiday. Its not important that he knows this as i can do it myself its in my name but he may just be genuinely wondering incase he is left to pay something! Should i reply or ignore this message? Thanks.

    3. Jemma

      April 28, 2014 at 7:40 pm

      Forgot to mention: i met his best friend(a close friend of mine too) when i was out tonight with friends. The first thing he said to me was asking if i had text my ex back yet. He kept telling me to text him back throughout the conversation. I just said i was busy. I didnt ask anything about him and the conversation was short. This is a good sign right? It shows he has been affected by me not responding to his message about the holiday?

  9. Amy

    April 23, 2014 at 4:51 pm

    Hi Chris, I posted last week about how much going no contact has helped me already (now at about 2.5 weeks) even when I found out he might have started seeing someone new. I have a question though. I don’t want to bore you with background but he and I had been trying the “friends” thing for almost a year after breakup, mainly because we are both involved in certain community things that will force us into occasional contact. So, there’s an event next week that normally we would both attend. I don’t want to NOT go because of him– it would look weird to others that I didn’t go– but what do I do when I see him? I probably could avoid him in the crowd… but should I do that? Or should I deliberately go up to him and greet him confidently and end the conversation quickly? The reason I went NC is that the “friendship” wasn’t working for me, the usual story… I wanted more closeness out of it than was giving me even though we were in frequent mutual contact. We were just arguing all the time.

    So I think I want to greet him to show that I’m happy and upbeat without him, right? If I ignore him he knows I’m still affected by him. Or should I just circulate and wait for him to come to me?

    1. admin

      April 24, 2014 at 3:59 pm

      You should go!!! If you do see him be friendly but don’t initiate unless he does.

    2. Amy

      April 24, 2014 at 4:24 pm

      Ok, thanks. I’m already practicing ending the conversation before he does. He was ALWAYS the one to end the conversation, but no more!

      I’ve brightened my hair and I’ve been exercising more.. I’m going to make sure I look and smell great so he sees what he’s missing!

    3. admin

      April 25, 2014 at 10:11 pm

      Yay!

      It’s fun taking control.

  10. Claire

    April 23, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    Hi Chris, me and my boyfriend had been together 1 year and half. Around 3 weeks ago he ended the relationship as he said his feelings had faded and he no longer loved me. he said he’d tried to get them back but they had gone ( this had happened somewhere is the space of 3 months). Is this possible to happen? Had this happened to you?

    Initially I didn’t contact him for around 5 days but after seeing things on Facebook that indicated he was sad- I contacted him. But after a few days of initiating convos I sensed he was uncomfortable talking to me. So iv cut contact again. I’m now on day 8 of no contact. However we were due to go to an awards event to pick up his award next Tuesday which he had said I could still go to if I could handle it.I have decided I’m not going to go as this is mayb not the best idea. however, I have not told him this as I am in no contact. I know he’ll message soon so I’m assuming I should just respond saying something along the lines of Iv decided not to come
    And have a nice time-only if he messages of course. Would this be the correct thing to do??

    Also although iv read the article, things have stayed civil. There is no aftertaste as such. But I’m worried as I can see the attention he is gettin from girls on Facebook now that he is single. If he’s getting all this attention-is he really going to be giving me a second thought?..or even given the opportunity to feel lonely and miss me?
    Thank you in advance for your help.

  11. Eve

    April 23, 2014 at 7:28 am

    Is this NC rule working for a secret relationship too?
    I am a secret gf of a guy whom has a gf by his own and he broke up with me last week because i told him to finally make a decision, it has been over than 2y (Please don’t jugde us, it was really a complicated situation incl domestic violence, etc). and as i knew it from a long time.. he choosed her. i don’t regret to know him, he is a coward but not a jerk. deep inside me I hope he will contact me, not to get back, because I don’t even want to be with him anymore. but i wish he show me for d last that he cares. do you think this NC works for this kind a situation? it has been 1 week without any contact, and honestly i am still waiting. i wont do the first step as a sign that i respect his decision and as well he broke up with me.

    1. admin

      April 23, 2014 at 4:07 pm

      Yes it can work but why are you two a secret?

    2. eve

      April 24, 2014 at 6:35 am

      Because we both have our partners. yesterday I was overwhelming with my sadness, so I sent him something, he replied as cold as stone and he didn’t care at all, he just said he put his mind into something else, the week was soooo hard but he didn’t want to be controlled anymore by me, the door is closed between me and him, he said. he showed me one more time, that I was wrong.. from the beginning on, I was tooo naΓ―ve to think that he was my knight with a white horse. he is nothing but an ordinary jerk, I take it back that before I thought he is everything but a jerk, eventually he proofed me otherwise. he is an ultimate coward, from sad, I am now mad, disappointed but in a weird way relief. what’s wrong with me?

  12. Sara

    April 22, 2014 at 8:59 pm

    My boyfriend and I were together for a year and a half. We were fighting constantly over the smallest things and had a lot of blowouts and would always say maybe we needed to break up and didn’t, a little over a week ago things came to an extreme we were both drunk and things got pretty bad lets just say our worst blow out yet which might have caused some permenant damage because his parents got involved and now look at me badly. He broke up with me a few days later after he cooled off and said he still had feelings for me but did not want to be in a relationship with me or anyone else right now.. And that it was unhealthy and that he thought a lot about it and we have differences etc, I told him how much I cared about him and we ended thigs off on a better note and he wanted us to be “friends” he texted me the next day and a few times after talking about shows we watch etc but was very bland when my responses were a little more wordier. Should I keep this friend act going or is it not going anywhere? Would no contact even help as this point or is it beyond repair? Last night I picked up the rest of my things and he seemed pretty emotionless I know he still has feelings but I feel like what I did night have been the last straw for him?

    1. admin

      April 23, 2014 at 3:43 pm

      NC is there for a reason haha.

    2. Sara

      April 22, 2014 at 9:01 pm

      And I realized how much I Actually really do care about him and love him. Now that it’s over I know Things would be different if we got back together but I’m just wondering if there’s a Chance or if he Is just trying to be nice to me and not hurt my feelings with friend card

  13. kay

    April 22, 2014 at 8:32 pm

    Hi Chris u beautiful mind u! I love your page!
    Could/should i break NC to wish my ex a happy birthday?
    See, huge personal drama caused my ex to lose his perception of me as an “ungettable girl”. Since he started using Limited Contact on me I started chasing him, thus completely abdicating my throne as “ungettable queen”! Lol but get this, in terms of looks he’s a 5 and I’m 9.5 (kinda vain i know). But believe me, my frog prince makes up for his looks in many, many other ways!
    So for 3 days i totally ignored him – and in those 3 days he kept messaging me to see how i was doing. On the 3rd day i eventually caved when he baited me with sex (I’m sorry but it’s been 3 months!) When i responded in the affirmative, he just left me hanging! That bastard! Then he went right back to ignoring me, taking me for granted – he has even been insensitive and told me i need to get an …ummm t-o-y (sorrt)or even another boy! :(….but this dude is confusing me Cuz a few days after this he was bragging one of my neighbours that i was “his girl”! But y wont he treat me like his girl? I know he has trust issues with me and can be very insecure but i had to put my foot down!
    I’m now on day 5 of my second attempt at NC. My ex has been silent for those 5 days until today, when i posted a pic on whatsapp of a 5 star luxury
    Luxury resort (I’m going there in 2 weeks to get more pics!) I wanted to give him the impression that k had spent the Easter weekend there. Sure enough,he broke his silence today to ask me where that place was? And of course i ignored him….i know many girls are chasing him Cuz he has money but i don’t really care about that. I just don’t wanna be playing silly games u know? I really do miss fun with him πŸ™ penny for your thoughts? Does he deserve a full 30 day lock-off or can i wish him a happy birthday in 4 days? He needs to always be in control though and i just need him to let me have my way with him! Thank u Chris-san!

    1. admin

      April 23, 2014 at 3:40 pm

      Nope no breaking NC not even for a birthday.

      30 day NC definitely. Take him out of control and watch how he goes crazy.

  14. R

    April 22, 2014 at 11:10 am

    Ok so I tried no contact and was doing wonderfully, then this weekend I was out and he called. Becasue I was a little drunk and I’ve deleted his number I didn’t realise who it was when he called. I answered. He was drunk, and ringing me just to speak to the only person he wanted to talk to on his birthday… It had just turned 12 and was his birthday. I told him I was too drunk to talk to him and if he wanted to talk to me to call me when we were both sober. Unfortunately becasue as I’ve said I was on holiday and out getting happily merry we exchanged a couple of text messages, however when he started saying you always know go to make me smile I decided to stop replying. He also called me again just ‘check I’d gotten home and to ask if I was alone’ Needless to say he didn’t ring me the next day and I deleted his missed calls, number and messages. However, yesterday he commented on my Facebook. My friends instant reaction was to message me and ask me what sarcastic reply I wanted them to use. I told them nothing. It doesn’t concern them. Also Silence is a killer. I know I’ve broken no contact as I’m only three weeks in. I need to know what to do as he is reaching out and I don’t know how to make the next move. He was in Madrid when he called me with his friends, I assumed he’d be having far too much fun to think about me out there. I’m not a lush by the way I was out having fun with my friends on holiday. Help please!

  15. Sarah0000

    April 22, 2014 at 10:11 am

    PLEASE HELP…….My boyfriend of 5 years was becoming more and more distant towards me. I decided to leave our home together and got a place of my own 10months ago. We didn’t use the NC rule and carried on trying to patch things up. I spent every other night at his house and the time we spent together was amazing until 4 days ago I went out and saw him. He didn’t acknowledge me at all until I wallked over to chat. He was ok. We laughed. But when I left he didn’t say anything. He then txt me when he got home saying he was home. When I went back to my own house I txt asking why he was so distant with me and why was he not showing any interest. I woke up with a txt saying that he loved me but no longer was in love with me. And that he couldnt go on anymore. He added at the end that he didn’t know if he was working too hard (7 days a week) but it’s day 4 and I’m scared he won’t contact me at all. We had plans together. (I’m 23 and he’s 25) and soo many good memories. Will he contact me? I’d say he is “clueless” hurting, broke hearted, gutted, lonely and probably thinking about me 24/7. I was his first and he was mine. What should I do???

    1. admin

      April 22, 2014 at 4:59 pm

      Well I will tell you one thing. The chances are high that the two of you will get in touch in the future. Most exes do talk again at one time.

  16. erica

    April 17, 2014 at 9:27 pm

    The first time Γ­ did the no contact from your last
    email Γ­ didnt finish it, Γ­ gave in but now after fully
    understanding the men mind, im going to go threw it. Í been with this guy for 3 years until he
    broke up with me yet off and on we see each other. So yes o feel like he thinks im always going to be there especially when he needs me so yes im really going to go therw it all the way this time. And thank u for your advice in which its very much so on point….

  17. Casey

    April 15, 2014 at 11:47 pm

    hey… ive read your article and it was interesting… but important question… okay yes im on no contact rule… but what should I do if we contact during the no contact process… I mean we see each other every Friday because of a training thing we do… so im still confuse when I see him in that training period. What am I suppose to do… ignore him? or at least say hi how things ive been great?? HELP PLEASE

  18. NADIA PALI

    April 15, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    I FORGOT TO ADD TO MY PREVIOUS REPLY THAT WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 4 YEARS BUT WE SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER AS WE ARE RESIDENT IN DIFFERENT COUNTRIES..

  19. NADIA PALI

    April 15, 2014 at 8:07 pm

    THANKS CHRIS FOR AILL YOUR GREAT ADVISES AND SUPPORT..
    DURING MY NO CONTACT TIME HE BLOCKED ME ON FACEBOOK AND WHATSAP.. I DID NOT SAY OR DO NOTHING .. AFTER A WEEK HE ASKED HIS COUSIN TO BLOCK ME AS WELL.. I ASKED HIS COUSIN WHY ? HE SAID YOUR EX ASKED ME TO BLOCK ME TOO.. AND I HEARD FROM A FRIEND THAT HE IS GETTING ENGAGED WITH ANOTHER GIRL NEXT MONTH !!!! WHERE THIS WOULD TAKE ME… IS HE DOING ALL THIS BECAUSE HE STILL WANT ME OR WHAT ?? THANKS

    1. admin

      April 16, 2014 at 4:14 pm

      YOU SHOULD READ MY GUIDE ON BLOCKING…

      ALSO I LOVE HOW WE ARE YELLING AT EACH OTHER IN ALL CAPS.

  20. daniela

    April 15, 2014 at 4:07 pm

    My ex boyfriend and I are were in a relationship for about 3 1/2 years and for 1 1/2 we were long distance. After so many fights, and thinking he was withdrawing from the relationship and also not knowing where the relationship was heading I decided to break up with him. I did the no contact rule for 60 days and he also didn’t try to contact me, until I saw he erased something important from our gmail account and that’s when I was upset and decided to contact him, but my friend calmed me down and told me to not assume things before talking to him. Finally we started texting and he apologize and he said he really didn’t mean to erased it. He also said he loved and miss me so much and regret letting me go, and after reading all those texts, I end up telling I missed him n love him too. Two days later we talked on the phone and I was hoping this time he was going to step up and fix things and give me the commitment I deserve, but instead we end up on the same predicament, he wanted to move out and I wanted to get married. He knows that’s very important to me, and I guess he’s not willing to go that far, even though through out the whole relationship he tells me that he wants me to be his wife, and I feel he does want to marry me but changes his mind, or something is holding him back. After that conversation he just said well talk tomorrow, but he didn’t call or text for a week, until last night he said he heard a song on the radio few times and was thinking about me and just said good night baby. I haven’t even answer, because I just don’t know what to do, I don’t want to play mind games, or get hurt but I do want him back. (By the way we are both 24 years old, and he already has a career job and his happy with it while Im working and going to school). I would really appreciate if you give me an advice. Thanks

    1. admin

      April 16, 2014 at 4:07 pm

      Are you two still long distance?

    2. daniela

      April 18, 2014 at 2:37 pm

      Yes we still in a long distance, he found a great career job so it doesn’t seem hes moving from his city anytime soon. I also have to mention that at the beginning of the conversation he try to convince to see him but I just wasn’t sure because I felt we were going to end up sleeping together and not solve anything. I have also told him that I didn’t want our conversations to be an everyday thing and act like friends. At this point I know I made two mistakes but I don’t know how to fix it or attract him again, the only I did so far is text him again and said that I was reading a book and wanted to share a quote with him, but he hasn’t replied, I guess is because I took 24 hrs to replied his text. I really appreciate if you give me some ideas of how to go from here and bring him back or how to make him ask me to see him again?. Thank you

    3. daniela

      April 22, 2014 at 8:18 pm

      Hey I just wanted to touch base again, he actually replied to my text 24 hrs later just like I did but that’s it, he hasn’t initiated contact again. Should I just let him be, or is there anything I can do to attract him again?!.. Help please!!

    4. admin

      April 23, 2014 at 3:39 pm

      Let him be for a little while before you try again.

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