The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule- What Is He Thinking?

4,280 thoughts on “The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule”

Yoseline

July 21, 2014 at 7:35 pm

I went out with this guy for 12 years he wanted to break up and I agreed that we were not in a good place. Months passed and we tried the friend zone. Rough times since it can be confusing. Then his secretary sent out an e-invite for his upcoming 60th birthday party.
When I told him the next morning that I had received it and I would be happy to attend, he laughed. Next thing I know, I was dis-invited. I blocked his number for 3 months and it expired a couple of months ago. He will text me every two weeks a few times. A few days ago he text me a picture of himself (and it wasn’t his hands or feet), “figured I’d get your attention, you smoking?”. NC with him for the past four months. This is the only time I responded because I actually found it insulting. I wrote back, “not smoking, not drinking and not interested”. Haven’t heard a peep from him in three days. What does he want from me?

admin

July 22, 2014 at 2:24 pm

Was marriage ever talked about in your 12 year relationship?
Amanda Vazquez

July 23, 2014 at 1:08 am

This morning he sent me a text saying,

Him: I miss you”
Me: “I still miss you and love you but i really, really hate you”.
Him: “same here but i think you hate me more.He everyone asks about you and named three of his male friends. Everyones asking about you” (then he named some of his closest friends saying they are my biggest fans.
Me: “Give them my best and tell them I think you are a dick”
Him: “They know”

Knowing him, he will let a few days go by and then ask me out to dinner.
What am I supposed to do now?

All he kept telling me towards the end was that I was a free spirit and that I deserved someone younger who was a lot more fun. In my head I started to agree with him. “take off your sandles and run away as fast as you can and get away from me” said it all the time. I had to agree with him and walk away when he asked. So why cant he allow me just be. Dont get wrong, I still love him with all my heart but really scared that he will use me to neal and then I will end up where I was four months ago.

I also want to thank you for your time. There are some things I cant talk to anyone about.
admin

July 24, 2014 at 2:42 pm

I wouldn’t have said that, “I hate you” line.
Yoseline

July 22, 2014 at 4:25 pm

Neither one of us wants marriage.

CuteAndConfused

July 20, 2014 at 2:14 pm

Hi,
I started the NC rule again. I’m on day 14 on day 10 he text “good afternoon”.
I didn’t respond. My text reciept was in so he saw that I read the text 4 days after he sent it. I didn’t respond.
I started NC again after seeing him in a Resturant with two woman and I went crazy. Yelling at him making a big scene smh etc he left with the two girls.
That night I text him everything I needed to say and started NC I have two more weeks to go.
I don’t know what I’m doing at this point just sticking to the NC program.
After the 30 days are up what do I do just wait again for him to contact me?
And what if he doesn’t?

admin

July 21, 2014 at 4:09 pm

Ya…. you ventured into crazy ex territory with that little yelling incident.
CuteAndConfused

July 21, 2014 at 6:11 pm

Lol OMG Chris I know. Thanks for responding.
Although I did act out… he still text.
But bc Im doing the NC I haven’t responded.
This is going on the 3 weeks.
After I reach the 30 days…
Do I still wait for him to contact me or do initiate?
admin

July 22, 2014 at 2:17 pm

I would say YOU initiate.
CuteAndConfused

July 22, 2014 at 10:29 pm

Ok thank you very much!
CuteAndConfused

August 6, 2014 at 12:22 pm

Hi Chris,

I completed the NC for 30 days.
My ex only contacted me once by text mid way saying ‘good afternoon’ that was it. He never contacted me again. I never replied.
I am going to initiate contact. Will the ‘I have a confession to make’ text work for me or should I go a different route?
I also was going to request him as a friend in Instagram is that a good idea?
I won’t make any moves until I hear from you. Lol
Thanks a bunch!

Alyson

July 20, 2014 at 8:41 am

Hi. Just curious. How do I handle things with my ex when he turns hot and cold. Felt like I was making progress talking to him then a week later he was telling me to leave me alone blah blah. He said some things that felt like he was going out of his way to hurt me. Do I give up?

admin

July 21, 2014 at 4:09 pm

What did you do specifically to make him say “leave me alone?”
Alyson

July 21, 2014 at 11:58 pm

I sent email about collecting his stuff. He told me that email was for his work and personal buisness. I mentioned that I missed him (already completed 30 day nc) on my weekends and he told me he doesnt care if im interested in him hes done. Said he will pick up stuff from my letter box but doesnt want to see me.

Brandi

July 18, 2014 at 11:56 pm

Im 21, I met a 30 y/o cop and we texted and talked every day almost 24/7 (flirting, sexting etc) for about 2 months. We hung out a handful of times, I came to his house, we’d take naps and mess around a bit (I never had sex with him though). Id ask to hang out and he always had an excuse (to be fair he worked nights patrolling, but he had Thursday-Saturday off). But he’d drive by my house while patrolling (even though his area is on the other side of town) and text me later telling me he drove by…

One day he just completely stopped talking to me. My friend told me he was seeing one of her other friends. I confronted him asking if he was seeing someone else. He said “Kind of, it’s complicated.” That was the only “rule” we had while we were seeing each other. To let me know if he started seeing someone else. I wasn’t upset, it’s just a very small town we live in and I didn’t want to look stupid. Too late. I told him he hurt me, that the situation made me look like a fool and that I was very embarrassed. He had the balls to tell me “I didn’t know you liked me like that” (NOTE: he isn’t clueless, like I said, he’s a player)…and “we’ve only talked a few times.” So I let him know Id make it easy on him and told him not to contact me again. Then I blocked him for a few days. Then I unblocked him hoping he’d text or call. He didn’t so I didn’t either. And it felt good to think “If he wanted to see or talk to me, he would.” Which at one point towards the end of our “thing” was what he said to me.

Since then I’ve learned he’s a very big player type. So I just let it go. Even though I liked him a lot. A month goes by, NC. He messaged me and asked “How are you? I just want to check on you? Are you sure you’re doing fine?” I was very short but polite and said, “Yes, thank you. How are you?” Then after he responded I didn’t text him back. A few days pass, NC. He texts again asking “Are you still hating me?” I told him I didn’t hate him, just that he had hurt me and I took the bad situation out on him. He said “I didn’t mean to hurt you or make you feel bad.” I said “Thank you.” He then went on to say that he wanted to “give me a hug and say hi” asking if we could catch up sometime soon. I said ok.

Then he texted me the next morning at 6am. I was sleeping…and again at 11 with his typical “Answer me back sucka.” We were playful when we were together..but I don’t know why he felt so comfortable so fast NOW. I answered “Hey.” He asked me what I was doing and I said my hair, getting dressed and going to get food before work. Then he asked me “What are you wearing”. I was feeling sarcastic so I said; “Well don’t get too excited over there. Just regular black underwear & a bra. Covers more than my bathing suit. What are you trying to do?” He said; “I just haven’t forgotten” I asked “forgotten what?” An he said never mind. That sent me over so I said; “First it’s “Let’s catch up and hang out.” Then it’s “What are you wearing?” If you just need a friend, I can be that. If you want more, I can do that too. But I need you to understand that this state of limbo you’re in, isn’t fair for me.”

Surprisingly he said, let’s be friends. I said ok and he met me up for lunch with his roommate, another police officer. They joked and had a few drinks. A girl called while he was showing me baseball stats on his phone. Not a surprise. He didn’t answer. He kept saying how pretty I was and telling his roommate “Didn’t I tell you how gorgeous she is?” And his roommate asked if I wanted to hang out with them later. I said maybe. With no intentions of actually doing it. It ended with my ex giving me a side hug goodbye.

I messaged him this morning saying thank you (they bought me lunch). He said “You’re welcome I’m glad you came. It was good to see you.” And I didn’t answer. My question is; WHAT THE ACTUAL F***, why did he text me after I told him to leave me alone? Especially if he doesn’t want to be with me?? I’m confused as hell. Please help me decode this strange couple of weeks.

admin

July 21, 2014 at 3:57 pm

From everything you said I think his motivations are driven by a certain special organ… and I am not talking about his brain.

Hannah

July 18, 2014 at 8:07 pm

Hey Chris
It’s the same Hannah that wrote to you a while ago, me and my boyfriend of 2 years got back together 2 weeks ago and I just need some extra advice.
When we are together he is so lovely and amazing with me, we are having fun, not arguing, things are so good. But then when we are apart he just disappears. We have seen each other every couple of days, and have booked ourselves a night away next week together, I just find it so hard that he’s not being super romantic and texting me all the time. Everything we do I seem to suggest, and I’m just a bit worried he’s not as in it as I am. As I say, When we are together things are amazing, but I was kind of expecting more…
I’ve read your guides on what to do after you get him back, but the emotional high in messages is impossible when we don’t really text much other than to sort out where to meet etc! Most of our conversation is done face to face.
He was also seeing another girl while we were apart and I keep bringing her up and I can’t get her out of my mind. He said yesterday that I need to drop that or this will never work, which I know he is right but I just can’t seem to get her out of my head.
Is there a reason he’s not really texting or being romantic? Is there anything I should do? Should I take a step back and stop suggesting things? Our relationship has always been a bit like I’m the organised one so maybe he just expects me to organise everything, I just wish he would suggest spending time with me too?
Please help! Thank you 🙂

admin

July 21, 2014 at 3:48 pm

I think this is a perfect read for you,

https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-keep-your-ex-boyfriend-once-you-get-him-back/

Kelly

July 18, 2014 at 7:54 am

I sent him an email telling him that I have the usbs he and his dad wanted back and if he wants to collect them. I also said “im not going to convince you to come back but if you do I will do everything to make us work”. I didn’t say anything harsh but the response back from him was quite harsh. He told me he wasnt going to collect them and hes sick of me trying to get back together. What the hell? The other day he was sweet and understanding now hes being an ass. Why?
nonamer

July 18, 2014 at 2:03 am

Hey chris,
we broke up 3 weeks ago and nc was in immediate effect. I couldnt help but to text him I missed him 3 days ago and after he said he missed me too, I never respended back. Does that mean nc rule has to start all over again because I broke nc? Should I reply to that or wait for another response? To be honest, as much as a “I miss you too” sounds so good to hear, I didn’t want to push my luck by replying to it. Ive been feeling so lost

admin

July 18, 2014 at 4:03 pm

Yup… It does.

Kate

July 17, 2014 at 5:08 pm

Was with him for about 3 months. Broke up with my ex over a month ago.I have been about 5 weeks into NC with my ex. Its been hard but I have not caved in. About 2 weeks into NC, he texted me just a picture of something I liked-I did not respond. No texts since. He continually likes my instagram and some facebook pictures and status’. I deleted him off of snapchat right after we broke up and he has tried re-adding me twice, this final time I blocked him. I am not quite sure what my next move is. I feel like I should wait things out some more but at the same time I do miss him and would like to speak with him. He definitely seems like the stubborn guy type and will not talk to me unless I make the first move. He has a big ego.
We broke up due to issues on his side such as refusing to spend more time with me and poor communication skills. I think that stuff is fixable?
What do you think I should do next?

admin

July 18, 2014 at 3:59 pm

Well, it is very fixable but it seems the issues lie with him and that means HE is the only one that can fix it.
Kate

July 23, 2014 at 4:38 am

Hello again, well he did contact me the day after I posted this (weird timing), and I have followed your rules in regards to the first text and ending it really short. I have kept control of all the conversations and ended them first. The night he contacted me and I answered back, after I said bye he texted me two hours later and said lets hang out in two weeks when my fam isn’t home (I thought this was strange). So over the past few days he has been the one to contact me and I’ll respond with a few messages etc. He requested a few days ago that I unblock him on snapchat so I did today (I waited a few days to keep him on his toes). All in all at the end of the day after a few snaps he basically asked to be fwb (I’ll spare the details, every time he alluded to it I changed the subject). I slammed on the breaks in regards to that. Told him no, and reblocked him on snapchat. I tried to remain as calm as possible and not blow up on him. While we were together I made it known I was not going to engage in that kind of activity until I was ready (we never ended up having sex), so now why does he think I will do it now that we are broken up? I do not get it. Is this worth it now that all he wants is to be fwb? I am not dumb enough to fall into this trap, but I do not know how to approach the situation now. Should I still talk to him, or enter NC again for a while?

Lisa

July 17, 2014 at 4:31 am

Help!
My bf and I broke up 4 days ago…. Said he needs to be alone for a whole to get his s$*t together and be happy bc he’s not happy and can’t make me happy. He said he needs to clear his head and he doesn’t know how long it will be. I asked him if it was a break or a break up and he said he needs a long break and to be strong. Anyway I tried contacting him a few times to which he responded the exact same way saying I need to be alone for a while… I messages him again yesterday bc he lied about something I wanted the answer. He text me back sayin plz stop.the more u do this the angrier your making me. Since the. I have not answered and messages so today officially marks day 1 of no contact. What do I do? Throughout our relationship we fought bc I would ask to see him more and spend time with him..this made him angry and on Sunday he told me the fighting tore us apart, however he agrees with why I was mad and started those fights. He told me he loves me but he can’t be what I need and told me I deserve more… I’m so confused, but I love him and don’t want to give up hope just yet. Do u think there’s chance? He might have a bad aftertaste bc of all the fighting, but i had a reason to! He wasn’t doing what he was sup to! Any advice would be appreciated

admin

July 18, 2014 at 3:13 pm

So, he broke up with you because he thinks you deserve better?
Lisa

July 21, 2014 at 2:15 am

Yes and no…. He said he’s not happy in his life and he can’t make me happy… Meaning he can’t give me the things I want right now…he has told me I deserve the world yet won’t give it to me bc he’s not in a good place. We argued a lot bc I wanted more from him and I guess that kind of pushed him away… He said he loves me and in his heart wanted to be with me but now it’s been a week NC, and nothing. Do u think he’ll miss me despite our fights..also he knows most of them were caused by him. I was great to him… He told me if he didn’t take this step now then we would continue living miserable… I don’t know what to do… I’m so confused..plz help, any advice is welcomed :(.
Lisa

July 21, 2014 at 2:17 am

Sorry 5 days NC, BUT THIS IS A HUGE step for me…most I’ve lasted was 2… He’s prob wondering wtf happened to me lol
admin

July 21, 2014 at 4:14 pm

5 DAYS!!!! Thats great.
Lisa

July 21, 2014 at 4:40 pm

I know lol sad but it is what it is…. So what do u think Chris???

Ruby

July 16, 2014 at 8:47 pm

Hello,

So I completed my NC today and my stubborn long distance bf didn’t contact me even once. Now I am clueless what to send him. I can’t think of any of those emotionally exploitative messages 🙁

admin

July 18, 2014 at 3:06 pm

Well, run some messages by me.

What do you have so far?
RUBY

July 18, 2014 at 8:23 pm

Sent a funny message that we both used to laugh at. I also wrote I miss him. The message is ‘seen’ by him but no replies. Should I wait for another 15 days if he doesn’t respond? Apparently He’s angry.
admin

July 21, 2014 at 3:49 pm

Don’t say I miss you again….

That maybe was too much too soon.
Ruby

July 16, 2014 at 9:22 pm

Also, I am not sending a text message, but an FB message because he is in Germany and I am in another country and sometimes the messages don’t go through. Should i send an FB request alongwith the message? Please help!! 🙁
Also, can the message be about something funny?
admin

July 18, 2014 at 3:07 pm

No wait a bit before you friend request him.

Dara

July 16, 2014 at 6:02 pm

Hay Chris,
I broke up with my bf about month or so ago because I felt he always made decisions without me. Like taking a job 3 hours away ex. I explained everything to him and even emailed explaining that I need more from Him. A few weeks ago I did crack and email him. But I regrated it straight away. I’ve been NC rule since. But I’m freaking out that his friends and family are convincing him to move on and that I’m A bad person. Is this ever the case?

admin

July 18, 2014 at 2:56 pm

How are you a bad person for wanting him to communicate and involve you in decisions???

Bea

July 15, 2014 at 8:04 pm

Hi Chris,

Finally successfully started initiating no contact to an ex with a rocky break up after 3 weeks of back and forth no contact (on for a bit then someone would contact the other). He is really not being a nice ex and actually sent me pics of him with another girl the other day (in which I didn’t respond to). He then texted me asking if I was dating someone new, and then apologized for asking saying he loved me but couldn’t date me and that he was being an ass for trying to hinder me dating (never apologized for the pics however). So I haven’t responded and he texted me extremely mad that I had not responded to his apology about asking if I was dating. So why is he so mad, and what’s going on in his head? Will this be the last time he contacts me since he’s mad at me?

admin

July 16, 2014 at 2:51 pm

Hes mad because he isn’t getting his way.
Bea

July 16, 2014 at 3:11 pm

Is this a good thing or a bad thing- is this the reaction that I want, or is it bad that he is upset? Along the lines of trying to get him back.
admin

July 18, 2014 at 2:53 pm

What reaction specificaly do you want to know about?
Bea

July 19, 2014 at 2:05 am

He texted today and said he saw I found someone new (I didn’t but I followed your social media tactics!!) and I am happy for you that’s great but we are too close to not be friends I want to be friends with you. Text me back, seriously.

So where is he at now with his feelings?
admin

July 21, 2014 at 3:59 pm

He is trying to get information out of you.
Bea

July 18, 2014 at 3:40 pm

Him getting mad- will this be a problem with trying to get him back with no contact? Or is it good thing and common?
admin

July 21, 2014 at 3:02 pm

It depends on how mad he gets and if he becomes so angry he won’t be willing to listen.

Generally speaking though men don’t get mad for no reason and usually that reason is that they care…
Bea

July 16, 2014 at 3:25 pm

And is this the last I’ll hear from him since he is mad? Or not.
admin

July 18, 2014 at 2:53 pm

I doubt its the last youll hear from him.

Becky

July 15, 2014 at 4:40 am

So yesterday I messaged the EX for the third time writing to him hoping that the city he’s in is treating him well (this is well after 1.5-2 months no contact). He asked me if I hated him and I said playfully: “Never ;)”
He then said the city was interesting. I didnt respond until the next morning, where he didnt reply to my question: “How do you like it so far?”

Should I try recontacting him again? If so what approach should I try?
Being ignored by him seems like he’s trying to get back at me since I did ignore him during the no contact phase.

Let me know, I’d like some insight.

Becky

July 15, 2014 at 4:12 pm

He messaged me this morning and added: “I hope we can still be friends”
I don’t know how I feel about that.
Should I go for more NC?
admin

July 16, 2014 at 2:38 pm

Your currently in NC correct?
Becky

July 16, 2014 at 3:03 pm

I already did a month and a half of no contact. Just recently these past two weeks did I send him a message about random memories we’ve had. He has responded. And yesterday morning he messaged me saying he hopes we can still be friends.
I didn’t answer yet. I don’t know what to reply or if I should reply to that.
admin

July 18, 2014 at 2:52 pm

Respond and say you hope so too. However, keep building attraction.
Becky

July 27, 2014 at 11:00 pm

So after I told him, I wish we could be friends I sent 2 messages in the past two weeks and got no response, so Im considering doing NO contact for another 30 days. What do you think?
admin

July 15, 2014 at 3:22 pm

Yes but wait a few days before you try again.

Laurel

July 14, 2014 at 4:35 pm

Hey Chris, so what do I do if I’m trying to be in the middle of no contact and we both still have things of the other person’s? I have a few things of his and he has a few of mine. Should I just keep his stuff till NC is done or should i contact him and give them back before then? We don’t live in the same town, however he’s back in our hometown often. He broke up with me two weeks ago and we’ve done no contact the entire time except he did text me the other day out of the blue saying something about our song and how he still couldn’t listen to it. I know he’s going to be in town for a few days soon and I don’t know if I need to give him his stuff back yet or keep doing NC and wait? Or even what’s going through his mind since he texted me first? What do I do? Thanks!

admin

July 15, 2014 at 2:42 pm

You are actually allowed to break NC to give him his stuff back
Laurel

July 16, 2014 at 7:59 pm

Ok why would he have texted me the other day if he’s the one who broke up? It makes it so much harder to do NC cuz I don’t know how he’s feeling now.
admin

July 18, 2014 at 3:02 pm

He is checking in on you and thats not a bad sign.

Jennifer

July 13, 2014 at 4:00 pm

Hi Chris,

Thanks for the wonderful website! I have a question. What if my ex find me in person in my working place or in front of my door during No Contact? What if he uses others phone to call me and I picked up by mistake? please help me! Thanks again!

admin

July 14, 2014 at 3:22 pm

Just be calm, if you are forced to talk try to keep a conversation short but be very pleasant.
Jennifer

July 14, 2014 at 9:50 pm

Thank you so much! Did I break the NC rule in this case? I talked to him shortly today because he tried different numbers to call me. I only said to him “sorry I am busy”.
admin

July 15, 2014 at 3:14 pm

Yup you did.
Jennifer

July 16, 2014 at 10:43 pm

Today is one week of NC. He called me at least 5 times. I didn’t answer. Am I too rude? Then he started to send me msgs. He said if I continue ignored him, it would be me who kill our love. He said he never begged anyone in his life. But now begged me to come back.

What to do now? Should I continue stay in NC until the end of 30 days? Will he be hurt too much? Thanks!
admin

July 18, 2014 at 3:09 pm

No.

But I would say you can shorten your NC to 21 days.

Remember though, don’t be blackmailed by him.
Jennifer

July 13, 2014 at 9:09 pm

Also, I did something hurt his feeling badly. Although its not sleeping or kissing other men, its still kind of “cheating” to him. Because I betrayed him for my benefit. So he said his feeling towards me changed and he couldn’t commit to me right now. That’s why I broke up with him. I remember in one of your guide you suggested if cheating, the NC period should be 15 days instead of 30 days. Should I do 15 days or 30 days? Should I write down a letter to apologize after NC? Now its only the 4th day. he told me he desperately miss me and tortured by the feeling. I didn’t reply his text message. He said he gonna find me next week. Please help me.

jacintha

July 8, 2014 at 10:34 pm

Hi Chris,
i have been going out with this lad for 7 years. i moved overseas for 8months and came back recently, we ended on great terms as i had to go overseas. now that im back i though we could rekindle our relationship, turns out he has been seen this gurl two weeks after i left and is currently stil seen her but not “official”. the girl had a row with me out clubbing a few weeks ago and he totally took her side. she was calling me nasty names for no reason, my ex rang to apologise the next day. i really want him back but havnt heard from him since nor have i texted him. do u think i have a chance or should use the NC ?

admin

July 9, 2014 at 2:20 pm

So, why is it that you want him back?
jacintha

July 10, 2014 at 12:40 am

because i love him and never stoped loving him? and im pretty sure he stil feels the same hes just on a rebound. should i leave it go or try make this work?

Kelly

July 8, 2014 at 9:51 pm

Chris help!

Ive Sent you comments before. Now im becoming more worried ..I finished no contact 2 weeks ago and did the full 30 days but didnt hear from him. I found out through a friend hes on a dating site and I cracked it at him. We had a talk after I calmed down and he admitted he misses me sometimes but also keeps insisting it won’t work.

I was with him 14months and we have been broken up for 2months. Im extremely jealous and dont want him falling for another girl.

This situation hasnt gotten any better.

admin

July 9, 2014 at 2:19 pm

You shouldn’t have “cracked it at him.”
Kelly

July 9, 2014 at 8:20 pm

Well what do I do now? He understood that I was hurt and said he would delete it and it was the first conversation we had in a while. Now hes gone again.

Cat

July 8, 2014 at 3:58 pm

Hi

I have just read this and it’s amazing, I’ve been seeing a guy for a year and a half but he seems to be afraid of commitment but yet we get on brilliant and really connect, we even call each other best mates. But I’m sick of his lack of commitment so 4 days ago I thought forget this I’m not talking to him for a while and it really upset me that I had to do this. Everytime I’ve said I’m never talking to him again we end up talking but this time I’m keeping my foot down. What’s really hard is that I’m worried I’ll never hear from him again and we’ll never speak again but I have to do this if I want my man. Reading this has given my spirits a lift and that there really is hope and light at the end of this tunnel. I just hope I don’t crash and burn during this 30 day no contact rule. And I really hope it works.

Wish me luck 🙂

admin

July 9, 2014 at 2:13 pm

Good luck!

Stick with it and I think good things will happen.

Caitlin

July 8, 2014 at 12:47 am

Hey!
My ex and I dated for about 8 months and it was really great. However we started to fight a lot and he dumped me. It was devastating. However he continued to still talk and snap chat me. would sometimes call me babe randomly, would get super jealous if i was with another guy, and say i miss you sometimes. It’s been 5 months since we broke up and this has been a continuous thing. we would talk almost everyday and still hook up from time to time. I want to be with him but every time I would bring us he would tell me he isn’t ready for a relationship, doesn’t know what he wants, wants to be happy and do him right now but doesn’t want to lose contact with me because he still wants to see me as an option later on. oh and my personal favorite I love you but i’m not inlove with you. HAH! i know I should just leave now i know but we are so good together and I can’t help but think what could be. So i decided to implement this no contact period for 30 days and told him that I was working on me right now and would contact him when I was ready. well a week into it now I get a text from him saying basically “So I guess were done talking, you saying we will talk later is you saying goodbye to me. hope you have a good semester at school.” I want to get through this 30 days but he basically just said goodbye to me….should I respond or keep going? Thanks so much!

admin

July 8, 2014 at 2:30 pm

What were the fights usually over?

Becky

July 6, 2014 at 12:39 pm

Hello there!

The ex boyfriend has reached out during no contact. When I sent my first message reminding him of this place we used to go to that closed down he responded coldly: “so now you decide to reply”. Then a week later I sent him a passage from a book that was specific to our old conversations saying it reminded me of him. He replied again: “stop acting so strange”
So I think he’s mad at me for not having responded when he reached out to me. What do I do now? Do I go back to no contact for 30 days? Or Try again in a couple of days?
thank you any advice is great!

admin

July 7, 2014 at 5:58 pm

No… just a few days and then try sending a really innocent text.
Becky

July 8, 2014 at 1:16 am

what could be considered innocent? any suggestions? I find it impossible to try a friendly conversation
admin

July 8, 2014 at 2:31 pm

How would you talk to one of your friends? Generally that would be innocent in these cases.
Becky

July 9, 2014 at 3:39 pm

Yeah, I’m afraid if I do that. He might not respond thinking I’m phoney and the message could be considered I’m trying too hard since it appears he’s mad at me for ignoring him and I feel like he’s trying to get back at me and do the same.
admin

July 10, 2014 at 2:15 pm

Usually they will be a little mad at first but come to their senses.

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