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Crista
April 23, 2016 at 9:10 am
Hi, my boyfriend broke up with me and after a few times of him saying ‘he has no wish for this to work’ and ‘he doesn’t want us to be bad like last time’ he spoke to me and said he was going to not speak to me for a few weeks to see if he missed me.
So it’s like he’s told me he is using the ‘no contact rule’ on me but I doubt he’s ever come across the ‘no contact rule’
Can this still work even though we both know we are not contacting one another on purpose?
Shall I just give up? Is there any hope?
Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 23, 2016 at 3:10 pm
Hi Crista,
it can still work because if you’re going to not contact him too and be busy and improve yourself then apart from the memories, you’re going to increase the chance that he will miss you because you’re being happy without him
sam
April 22, 2016 at 11:40 am
i sent a comment and cannot see it anymore?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 23, 2016 at 2:12 am
oh sorry late reply sam.. You have to be firm on what you talked about.. If you already told him you can’t be friends, then make it clear one last time before doing nc.. If you’ve already done that then let him be.. He should understand that you’re not going to wait forever.. You can tell him, you be friends now and then do nc but don’t tell him for how long.. and during nc, you should be busy improving yourself, emotionally and physically. YOu have to be more emotionally independent from him. And then after nc, think about interesting topics for him to start talking about..
Check this posts out for more details about nc and what and how you can text him.
The No Contact Rule (Version 2.0)
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)
EBR 022- How To Text Your Ex Boyfriend
sam
April 21, 2016 at 12:56 am
hi,
I have started the Nc rule. Could you tell me what I should response back if he asks why have I been ignoring him or where iv been? after the Nc Also what should I message first thing after the Nc shall I response to the messages he has been sending me throughout the Nc? also the nc finishes one day before his birthday what should i say help please..
lana
April 20, 2016 at 8:31 pm
My bf and I have been together 8 years.. since I was 16 and he 18. we’ve had our share of breakups and fights since then. We have worked together, sort of lived together and have been inseparable all these years. Recently in Aug 2015 we both got new jobs and completely different schedules. In Dec 2015 we started fighting a lot more. in March 2016 after many fights about time together and trust issues, he admitted to me that things feel forced between us. Like hes forcing himself to come over and give me love and affection. He kept holding my hands and said he loves me but he isn’t happy with himself. He said it’s been bothering him so much and he doesn’t know whats wrong. He said I always made him happy and he’ll always love me and I’m his best friend. I asked if there was someone else and he said it’s nothing like that, he doesn’t want anyone else at this point. So I suggested some time apart. 2 weeks of a break we decided to get back together..(more like me begging) things were getting better and he was really trying. things were getting back to normal then last night he says he doesn’t feel like he’s being fair to me. He came to my job today to bring me lunch and we talked. He said more than anything he needs a friend right now. he doesn’t know what he wants and it’s not fair to string me along. he wants me to be happy without him and he still loves and cares for me. He keeps apologizing for taking away my happiness.. & saying we cant be happy, if he’s not happy with himself. He says he can’t get it together mentally and doesn’t know how long its going to take him and doesn’t want me to wait on him. he also said he cant give me what I need in a relationship right now either. last night he also expressed his fears of marriage but at the same time told me how much he loves me and misses the way things were with us. what should I do? has anyone been in a similar situation? I don’t want to wait around for him but I don’t want to give up on him either.. the love is there and it makes me so sad that hes going through a depression. I love him with all my heart and I want to marry this man. but we’re broken up now and it hurts me to my core that its really over..Do you think NC should apply here?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 22, 2016 at 1:25 pm
Hi Lana,
if not nc, I don’t think staying to talk or being available while he doesn’t want you to be will help… so, it’s like the only choice is to do nc
Via Kwon
April 20, 2016 at 11:55 am
Hi! I have known my ex for almost 9 years. We met online on social media and have dated on & off. Recently we dated for 2 weeks (after he just broke up with his ex so I was probs in rebound territory) before he cheated on me with his ex. I was furious for a day but I like him so much I forgave him and we still talked and were friends. For about 6 weeks we’ve been talking and flirting; he would still call me up to come hang out and spend time with me. I never asked him to hang. We had sex and after I told him it was a mistake because I didn’t want to turn us in a friends with benefits type situation. But when I told him that he shrugged it off. I found out now that he says his way of getting intimate with me that day was his way of trying to get back with me but I denied him. Well I had hopes of getting back together for a retry but last weekend (2 weeks after our intimate night), he told me he met someone new (a week after our intimate night mind you) and that it’s complicated now. He’s only known her a WEEK! I started the no contact on Sunday night. On Tuesday he sent me the “so you’re just going to ignore me…” text. Is there hope for us? Or does it seem like I’m being played? I know I made a mistake by having a close relationship after him cheating on me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 22, 2016 at 6:36 am
Hi Via,
it’s better if you move on from him.. If he’s serious with you, he would taken things slow and respected you.
Ridara
April 18, 2016 at 9:23 pm
We broke up a little over 2 weeks ago after a few months together. I know I was getting a bit clingy because I saw him looking at other girls. I started no contact right away. This was about 2 days before a work trip. He said he didn’t want to talk to me for a while.
A little over a week after he sent a text asking if i was ok. I did not respond. He is still away on his trip. Does NC still count while he’s away? He doesn’t have the opportunity to miss me from his regular routine. Do I start the counting from when he returns in a couple days?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 20, 2016 at 11:18 am
Hi Ridara,
it still counts..as long as you stop contacting and replying and you’re active in improving yourself, that’s nc..
Elizabeth
April 18, 2016 at 8:09 pm
Hello,
I could really use some advice, I’m in the middle of the no contact rule now and I find it really hard to hang on…
My husband and I were together for 7 years, married for 3 years. We had a very passionate, intense relationship .
things went wrong, when shortly after our wedding my husband changed his mind about having a child together . Suddenly , about a month or 3 into our marriage he started seeing all these flaws in me, and began to doubt if I I was the right one for him . We started having more fights . Suddenly he said he was ready for a child, while in reality, he got a vasectomy behind my back . He tought I would not find out .But I did , his best friend who did know about it told me by text message . I was furious . He said he was sorry and needed time to think. I waited for another 2 years, he planned to reversed the vasectomy twice , and both of the times his mother, who doesn’t like children at all, talked him out of it . I felt sooooooo sad , and put aside, I have always been there for him and his mother he only sees about every two months . Why doe she take her advice…. In the end , I got exhausted and we decided to get divorced. He said he really doesn’t want a child but it still tears him up to let me go . I feel the same, I’m really heartbroken , and I feel so stupid , still hoping he might change his mind . He’s 40 and I’m 28, he said he would have loved to have kids with me if we met earlier, when he was younger . But at the beginning of the relationship he said it was no problem at all . I’ve been doing no contact for 14 days now. In the beginning he texted me that he missed me so, so much , but wasnt sure if we shoud get back together . I did not reply .
I know he has had a lot of girlfriends, like really a lot, 70 + . His relationships usually only lasted about 2, 3 month . And every time it gets too serious , he finds a reason to end it . I also feel as if he took it for granted that I was always there for him, and didn’t consider my feelings enough . I gave in to all his demands except this one thing . I don’t wanna be his doormat but I also don’t wanna loose him . I guess for no, holding on to the no contact rule is the best thing to do ? Thank you so much for your help…. Love , Elizabeth
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 20, 2016 at 8:58 am
Hi Elizabeth,
yeah..think about what you really want.. marriage with no child or move on.. let’s say you want to convince him..and it’s ok to do that but have a a plan of he really doeasn’t want kids.. you have to decide if you would stay
Jade
April 17, 2016 at 5:10 pm
Hey! So my ex and I were together 3 years, lived with each other for a little over 2 years. We have been friends for 15 years. He broke up with me suddenly 2 weeks after his dad passed away. I have found out that this is unfortunately common. So in a week he will be moving out and moving in with his mom to help her out. I asked him was he thinking of breaking up with me before his dad’s passing and he said no. He explained that he has a huge emptiness in him and he has changed and cannot give me what I need. He also said that he is broken and cant be in a relatiinship right now. I respect his decision and will miss him. Im a firm believer of whatever is meant to be will be. He is such an amazing person and I wasn’t ready for things to end between us. So of course, in the future I am open to the idea of us reconsiling if he ever feels ready to and the timing is right.
For the rest of the time he is here, I am going to think positively and be there for him. After our break up, I was a complete mess and then got myself together and saw things from his point of view. Since then, we have become closer in our connection in every way and we both still love one another and know that we always will. I told him regardless Im here for him and he wants to keep communication open between us and appreciates my being there for him and receptive to communicating. I warned him that I might not be able to talk to him right away though given that I am heartbroken about it all.
What I would like to know is given the circumstance of the break up, should I do no contact? I like the idea of it for my own selfish reasons, and I dont like it because I care about him deeply and want to be here for him if he needs it during this difficult time. The way our relationship has been is we are what we are regardless of our title and status. We are both not ones to play mind games.
He and I took a break a while ago and during that time, I went one day without texting him and it didnt feel good for me and it especially didnt feel good for him and he called me out on playing mind games. Since then, I never did it again. We are both such honest, sensitive people so the idea of no contact is making me feel uncomfortable because of what he is going through now is so much bigger than me choosing to not speak to him in the hopes of him missing me and wanting me back. This is a tough one for me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 18, 2016 at 1:30 pm
Hi Jade,.
no contact is not a cure for all.. and for your situation it’s not.. be there for him..it may take time..but you need to set aside getting back together for a while because he’s grieving
Charlotte
April 17, 2016 at 3:38 pm
I am beyond confused, met a guy online, both agreed we wanted to give it a shot and really enjoyed each other and took things quite slow, except saw each other 2/3 times a week, weekends and all in all laughed a lot and were very attracted to each other. After 6 or so weeks we had previous plans to spend Easter apart and although he was on a boys trip he called every night and we spoke about our excitement of seeing each other and flirted etc. Then something changed and I felt him withdraw, even though he was still in contact he wasn’t as forthcoming as before so my guard went up and I never called him out on it as didn’t want to make a big deal or be pushy. Long story short I said we should go out and have fun one night and we did and had a great time, and I felt things clicked back to normal and presumed it was the space apart that was the problem. Afterwards I opened up to him that I liked how relaxed things were but wanted exclusivity to which he totally agreed and said he didn’t believe in messing around. A few nights later he’s texting me and asks to call and in a really broken voice tells me he’s been in turmoil over us because his feelings have changed and he doesn’t know why and it’s been making him sick. I acted very calmly and said in that case there was nothing left to say and we said our goodbyes that definitely felt permanent. This was a week ago and I’ve made no contact and neither has he and I’m crushed and confused. This felt real and although my instinct was right about him pulling away I’m flummoxed at the moment. He’s definitely a lone wolf and not massively experienced in relationships but he was really into this and excited and we were heading towards something and I could do with a little encouragement and words of advice if possible?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 18, 2016 at 1:16 pm
Hi Charlotte,
Maybe he isn’t ready yet to be in a relationship.. if you want, you can do no contact to try to give him space
Jackie
April 16, 2016 at 1:35 am
Hi my bf & I were together for 5 months. The beginning was amazing of course but somewhere we started to lose contact. He started pulling the disappearing acts saying he was busy or sleep all of the time. I would express a bit of disinterest but then he would be right back. I sorta became a clingy text gnat & mostly texting when I was hurt/mad. I noticed he would flirt with other girls on fb & that increased my insecurities. My bf broke up with me in March after I sent a msg through fb. He contacted me 7 days into NC & we carried on for about 2 wks. I did have the dreaded breakup sex & it was bad bc I was hurt & couldn’t stop thinking. I am now in day 6 of the new NC but I’m wondering since he was already expressing being unhappy with interest in other girls & then we ended with bad sex, did I ruin my chances? Should I move on since he’s looking at other girls?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 18, 2016 at 5:00 am
Hi Jackie,
the sex definitely has an effect, but the best you can do now is to make the most out of nc.. Improve yourself, and grow.. there’s no harm there.. so whatever happens, you only gained improvements for yourself and confidence.
Carol
April 13, 2016 at 8:22 am
Hi, My ex broke up with me a week ago after an amazing year and a half together. We were supposed to move in together. I had no clue anything was wrong. It was what shocked me the most.
A few days before he said he needed time to think about things and said it was nothing to do with me! Never done that before. He stopped talking to me and then I called him after 5 days (because I thought something was wrong family wise) the he said to me his feelings had changed for me? He said I was an amazing girlfriend but he didn’t feel the same anymore. We only saw each other every other week because of distance and work commitments but this was never an issue.
I’m trying no contact at the moment and it is so hard. Do you think it’s hard for him too? He looks at my snap story. He’s not on Facebook that much anymore.
Do you think no contact will work? Will it be ok for me to contact him after the no contact is up even though he broke up with me? (I’m going to give it more than 30 days because I feel it will do me good) I’m keeping busy at the moment to keep my mind off it all and give me time to adjust and get over it.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 13, 2016 at 8:33 pm
Hi Carol,
I can’t guarantee it will 100% but that it can increase the chances. That’s good keep busy.. Try new things and build a new routine.. It’s okay to initiate first contact.. Check this out to give you an idea on what to text
EBR 022- How To Text Your Ex Boyfriend
Emily
April 7, 2016 at 7:33 pm
Hi, me and my ex (together for 1 year and half) broke up 1 month ago and since we work in the same coffee shop we talked, chatted during this time. I ignored him sometimes, some times i tried and success to look not interested in a relationship with him anymore. But i miss him and want to be with him still. When we broke up we decided to be “friends” after that. Yesterday i was in his place and since there are so many people live in the same house there were no place to sleep except his bed. we sleep together and in the middle of night he woke up, drunk water and when he come back to bed, he hugged me and kissed me on the cheeck. I really want him back. should i use nc now? would it work after 1 month being “friends”. Please help me. I’m so confused and don’t know what to do.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 9, 2016 at 4:31 am
Hi Emily,
You can try it, especially if you were not active in improving yourself and trying to move on..
Sophie Smith
April 7, 2016 at 3:46 pm
Hi, me and my bf recently ended things, we left things on a bad note and he moved out of the flat and since then he has blocked my number and ignored me completely. I ended up texting alot and crying etc. Already I’ve heard he has started to talk to another woman but me and him have been here before. We break up and get back together, he’s just very stubborn and angry. Can i have some advice please on how to handle this situation? I do love him but he does love playing the victim and leaving all the blame at my door. I’m scared he won’t ever contact me again… Thanks.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 9, 2016 at 4:14 am
Hi Sophie,
since he has blocked you, are you doing active no contact?
Meghan
April 7, 2016 at 9:10 am
Hi so i dated my ex for 7 years. 3 years on and off and 4 years steady(we had grown up by this stage) our relationship started off amazing and years down the line he started taking advantage of the fact that i loved him and always forgave him for his mess up’s. i always chased after him fearing that he would leave me. 4 months ago he accused me of cheating and broke things off, i was pissed off because after everything i forgave him for i felt he had no right to accuse me and break things off, i put 100% into my relationship for so long i had just had enough, so i cut him off completely and i started seeing this other guy (not publicly) i tried to hide it from him and he eventually found out and it broke him, i didn’t care because before i started seeing this new guy i found out he was seeing this other girl while we were dating, so i continued seeing this guy no matter how much he begged and cried for me, he asked me to leave this guy and that if i did, he will forgive me and take me back. Being the stubborn person that i am, i refused and i told him im tired of him hurting me and disrespecting me and he claimed to have changed. after i broke it off with the new guy him and i started talking again but this time he was trying to pay me back. long story short, he is still seeing this girl but still trying to make things work with me so i started the no contact rule about two weeks ago and ive been going strong, i even ignored him for my birthday and he sent me flowers and chocolates. at this stage im not really too sure about what i want, i just want to know if the no contact rule will even work considering that he is seeing another girl and he has been from before we even broke up , but he is seeing other girls on the side as well
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 9, 2016 at 3:07 am
Hi Meghan,
he’s not paying you back..because he’s been with the girl even before you dated.. he just tried to win you over because his ego can’t take that you have a new man.. if he really was serious, he should have left the other girl when he was trying for you… Try no contact more on being independent this time..go out on dates if you want but focua more on making yourself happy apart from others
Laura
April 6, 2016 at 8:29 pm
ive got a case of the “angry guy”.
i hurt him with some blow to his ego a week or so before the breakup and he wont go any deeper into talking about it. just ended it saying he wasnt into it….i pushed for an answer (the breakup was in person after i ran into him after not talking for a week) and he slightly alluded to the thing i said that hurt his ego being the main reason and said he no longer was “into it” and that we shouldnt see each other any more. i think most of his anger came from me asking for more of an explanation and trying to keep apologizing when he didnt want to talk. but i mean…his change literally happened overnight and the rug was pulled out from under me. i didnt realize that one thing i said out of frustration could have hurt him that much. i sent one big text as i was walking away from him – just apologizing clearly and telling him i care about him bc he was not letting me talk in person. (he has told me he loved me before and we were only together for 4 mos)
pretty sure its angry guy mixed with “protecting himself” guy –
anyway – been in nc literally since that text as i walked away – so 5 days
but the way i left it is making me so….unsettled. im thinking….how can this guy have any motivation or incentive to ever reach out to me and/or reconcile if i was so apologetic and loving???? how can he have any panic or fear that he might lose me forever when i left the door open for him? im DYING to send an “agree with the breakup” text. 2 sentences saying he was right to end it and we were obviously not on the same page and to take care. so…basically still a “nice” text but kind of affirming that its over. and then go nc. this is tricky but its killing me thinking he feels like he is in control and can come back to me whenever and if ever he chooses. i want him to worry that he may not be able to.
is it worth it to send?
Laura
April 9, 2016 at 4:30 pm
thank you amor! i feel much better even tho i have to start nc over. but i felt like if i left it the other way, no matter how many months went by, he would feel lke i was waiting for him and when it came time for me to reach out after nc, i think this might increase my chances of a response from him, whereas if i didnt, even if the dust settled with nc, the begging would still be the last thing he remembers about me. Chris should really mention the importance of agreeing to the breakup!
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 10, 2016 at 6:27 am
You’re welcome 🙂
Laura
April 9, 2016 at 2:57 pm
so you think its worth breaking nc to send? its been 8 days.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 9, 2016 at 3:40 pm
yes, atleast you’re just 8 days in.. instead of breaking it halfway and restarting count
Laura
April 8, 2016 at 11:06 pm
he wont answer. i would write it to be in a position of power and re-breaking up with him. like “i agree with us breaking things off. we did the right thing and we probably should have done it weeks ago. not sure about being friends right now though. take care of yourself”. theres no way he can really respond to that. im just concerned whether that will achieve what i want it to achieve. putting me on equal playing field basically, because i left it off last week so pathetic, sort of begging. but then walking away. i feel like he would never contact me unless he feels like he is going to really lose me. what do you think?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 9, 2016 at 11:26 am
Yes, I agree!
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 8, 2016 at 8:13 pm
Hi Laura,
if you didn’t send it, think about ir first if you can handle the results once you send it…
Amanda
April 5, 2016 at 10:22 am
I know I probably won’t get a reply, but I wanted to talk to someone.
My ex and I met at work, and jumped too fast into a relationship. My mom threw me out, I moved in with him and brought my daughter, of course. We were fine until I clung. I did. He had to be with me 24/7. When we were good, we were great, i met his family, traveled with him, my daughter bonded to him, ect. When he mentioned me moving out with my mom, just for space, it caused a huge fight where I threatened to dump him, and he cried and begged me not to go. I know, I was stupid. So, eventually, te same problem rose up as it always does when you don’t take space, and we fought again. This time, he told me to staight up leave. I cried and begged and cried more. Te worst part? I had to see him at work that night. I gave him space for a few hours, tried talking again, he told me something positive to shut me up, and killed that hope when we got off work. He told me he needed space, and to talk to his dad. He left, I kept texting (like an idiot) and he called me and said “there is no way we can work this out.”
Well, a few days later, he showed up at my house with some of my things. I went out with my mom that day, dressed up, did my hair and smiled at him as he showed up. He hugged me, told me he loved me, but we moved too fast, and maybe we can just go slow courting. I needed to get on my feet. Sounds awesome right?
Cept, a few days later my mom got committed, I almost lost my job, and my step dad threw me out. My ex took me in with the rule of no physical contact, no complications. I accepted. I was tere two weeks, until I got my own place.
Now we are up to date. I found my own place and him and I don’t talk much. I send him messages galore, and he doesn’t answer. He tells me to date oter people, to be happy, and when i asked him if he really wants to me to see someone else, he said “i say that because its safe”. When we went on a bowling date, I kept picking on him and taking my anger out about the fact I thought he was ignoring me. He explained he wasnt, wouldnt, and his phone and mine suck (always have). He said if he was, why would he leave some of his favorite things at my apt? He would grab them that day.
But one night, I snapped. I got fed up and didn’t believe him. I told him I was done chasing someone who didn’t want me. And he told me “wtf ever, you’ve been turning the wheels to this drama train for awhile. So fine. Delete my number. Don’t talk to me.” I begged adain, he told me it was useless. This game was old.
I went to work (walmart) the following night for something for my daughter, ran into him, and did my begging. When he’s mad it’s “nope, don’t want to hear it” and no eye contact. But we started yelling how we wanted our shit back, and I stormed off. *sigh* but I knew I was the one in the wrong so I came back and I told him I was sorry and I didn’t want him mad. He told me, “I’m not mad. I’m done. You keep saying you understand but you dont. We talked about how our phones mess up, but you still accuse me. I’m tired of being accused as the asshole. “. I just told him thank you for all he has done. He said I was welcome. He said he wanted to be civil and friends, but us trying to fix this is over. I told him okay, teared up, said I had to go and he said, “drive safe”. It’s been six days of NC. But am I wrong for doing it? I’m the one who hurt him. Many times. I got counseling for past abuse to find why I’m obsessive. He hasn’t come for his stuff, despite what he said. Idk. Have I lost him? Part of me is angry the ther part knows I’ve lost someone good. It has nothing to do with his stubbornness (though he is), it’s te fact I ripped and stomped on him a few times, wont space just allow him to forget faster?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 5, 2016 at 11:27 am
Hi Amanda,
you need nc because before you enter a relationship, you should be emotionally stable to know that you’re already complete.. Be independent.. To get a clearer picture, imagine your daughter.. how would you want her to be someday? Wouldn’t you want her to be independent and to be able to find the man that respects and loves her and that she knows her self worth? That she’s strong to walk away when she’s being mistreated and she has her own life…
Be that example for her..
Lolita
April 4, 2016 at 10:02 pm
Hi,
We broke up 2 weeks ago. We worked in the same company (but not really working together), and have similar group of friends. I am not planning to hang out with everyone often nowadays since I have some exams coming up and need to study after work. I wanted to follow the 30 days of NC. However, he kept messaging me, asking me to go out with everyone, or just to ask random questions regarding some of my issues with phone bills, etc. And I feel not very polite if I don’t response to his texts. What should I do in this case? If I just answer his text shortly without making a conversation out of it, is this considered as breaking the NC rule?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 5, 2016 at 8:18 am
Hi Lolita,
nope it’s not..as long as you don’t have a small talk
jennifer moore
April 4, 2016 at 7:17 pm
Hi I was with my boyfriend we broke up 6 weeks ago and spoke on and off up until 3 weeks ago since that I asked him to block my number and I haven’t text him but 2 days ago he messaged me but he sent “yeah course” I think he was going to pretend he had sent it to the wrong person but he would of had to unblock me to text me in the first place I didn’t reply and I checked later he had blocked my number again it was his birthday today and I didn’t say happy birthday but my mum said happy birthday from me and her over text and he replied saying thank you so much I’m not sure whether I should try and speak to him or if I should wait and see if he speaks to me because we only haven’t spoke in 3 weeks??
jennifer moore
April 4, 2016 at 7:29 pm
We was together for 2 years so obviously I still love him and I do want to be with him
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 8, 2016 at 9:10 am
HI,
Sorry for the late reply. If you haven’t been active for yourself, better to do that first since he blocked your number again..
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 5, 2016 at 7:47 am
Hi Jennifer,
I think 3 weeks is enough.. you can try to text him
anonymous
April 4, 2016 at 6:13 pm
Ok basically me and my ex still have contact with each other and are still kissing and hugging after the break up.
Is the no contact still neccesary
He tells me he wants to work on him self. Ut im not sure what to believe.
While we were together i ignored one of his texts for a day and he was very upset.
If i ignore him it could remind him of what i did before. Im wondering should i still do the no contact rule i feel like i should because nothing is getting through to him hes not showing any feelings like he wants to be together. He still wants to text here and there but i dont want too because im still hurt
anonymous
April 6, 2016 at 5:55 am
He actually said he wants to work on him self alone. could the no contact rule still work? He seems confused on what he does want he tells me he would like a future together he just needs time. Wouldnt the no contact rule give him time to think?
He gets annoyed because i constantly want to see him
So how would he feel if i stopped contacting him?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 8, 2016 at 12:28 pm
if he gets annoyed that means you’re too focused in him…do no contact to regain balance in your life again and to have your own thing..to be more independent
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 5, 2016 at 7:27 am
Hi Anonymous,
did he say he wants to work himself while with you or he wants to really be alone?
Oberon
April 2, 2016 at 1:25 pm
Hi there,
I’ve been doing NC for 2 weeks but so far every week he’s found a reason to come over (he’s staying at his mothers until we move out at the end of the month) – first time was giving the kids Easter eggs (they’re not his kids) and he stayed for an hour until I told him we were going out. This week he wants to borrow the dog to take her to meet another dog he’s thinking of getting – but seeing as we move out of the house in 3 weeks it seems really strange timing. It’s making it really hard to do NC, as i reset the timer every time I see him.
He doesn’t text me during the week, and I don’t answer any personal question that he asks during organising these ‘meetings’.
Would you take this as his way of trying to stay in contact, or am I reading too much into it?
I’m planning on doing a fresh 30 day once we move out of the house as then he really will have no reason to talk to me – not that he does now!
Oberon
April 2, 2016 at 1:30 pm
BTW We’ve been together 2 years, living together most of that and he moved out to his mothers 3 weeks ago – he had a fling at work during a depressive episode which I found out about and I think the whole thing is due to his depression and anxiety.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2016 at 6:12 am
Hi Oberon,
sorry for the late reply.. You don’t have to restart count as long as you’re not talking about feelings and the relationship