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T
May 8, 2017 at 5:47 pm
Hi. (I don’t think me first post went through) So, my boyfriend of 5 years ended things. It was very random because we were seemingly happy, had no recent arguments, and were discussing moving in. He was beginning to struggle with some depression near the end, though. When he broke up with me he gave some vague reasons and eventually said he wanted to sleep around and “experience” other girls. However, he really isn’t doing this. He’s only been with one woman who is ten years older than him who is also a drug addict. She’s been staying the night almost every night and they mainly just drink and smoke. When we broke up, he said he would always love me and that we could still talk and see each other and if I wanted to, we could still have a physical relationship. Although I knew it was probably a bad idea, because of the random nature of the breakup, I was using him as a crutch and turned to him when I was really upset. I think this began to push him away because he either felt guilty or because he wasn’t really sure how he was supposed to treat me yet as his ex. So, he did a major 180 and became kind of distant. On two different occasions in the couple days after we broke up, he agreed to let me spend the night. On the first, after I came over and was had sex, he asked if I was still planning to stay and proceeded to tell me he’d gotten the signals crossed and that his lady friend would be expecting to stay. I reluctantly went along with it but made sure to plan the next sleepover night a couple days in advance. He seemed cool with it. That day, again, we saw each other earlier and had sex. He was acting very unusual. That night we were texting while he was at work and I came to get pick him up so we could go to his apartment. He came out to my car and literally cancelled on me at the last minute. We got into an argument because I couldn’t figure out why he wouldn’t let me stay, why he told me I could if he didn’t want me to, and why he thought that was okay. He said things like “you can stay another night” and eventually again said he would always love me. As he got more angry, he said he didn’t want to break my heart but he related to her more right now and would prefer her to stay over and that if i stayed he’d want to get back together with me or I would be trying to get us back together. I was really annoyed and hurt so I told him if he didn’t let me stay, it’d be the last time I could see him. First he seemed to get a little emotional but then pulled himself together and his response was “i doubt it. I don’t see that happening. I think you’ll definitely see me again.” So I took this as a challenge and began NC. I am on day 3 and the struggle is real. So I’m wondering, did he really take me seriously when I said I wouldn’t see him anymore because I’m pretty sure I didn’t mean it. Also, is it likely that he will contact me during NC or will he probably be a stubborn guy? I see more of a stubborn guy, but I think he really wants to keep a physical relationship going just based off the sex we had after the breakup. He literally said to me that that was NOT going to end. How desperate is he, then?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 11, 2017 at 4:12 pm
he would likely contact you but even if he doesn’t..the more important thing is that you dont have sex with him again…check this one:
My Ex Boyfriend Wants To Sleep With Me… Should I?
Taylor
May 8, 2017 at 5:28 pm
Hi. My boyfriend of five years just recently broke up with me. He gave some vague different reasons like he wanted to sleep around but he has been letting one older woman stay at his place every night so they could smoke and drink. (And she’s an addict) He said he was still cool with us talking and hanging out so at first that’s what I set out to do. I was struggling with our breakup because it was so random so I turned to him when I was upset. I know this pushed him away some but he also seemed to be having mood swings about how he treated me be whether he should care or not. On two different occasions, I was supposed to spend the night at his house. On the first, he told me his lady friend would assume she could stay the night and her phone didn’t work so he’d have no way to tell her I was staying and claimed to get the signals crossed. The second time, we planned it days in advance and he cancelled on me literally at the last minute and we got into an argument. He still says he will always love me but he said if I stayed he would want to get back together and that I was just doing it to get him back. The more mad he got, he said more things like he related more with his lady friend right now and preferred her to stay over me. I told him it wasn’t that way but if he didn’t let me stay then I couldn’t see him anymore because he was basically playing with me and dragging me around emotionally. He seemed emotional at first but then very seriously said that he doubted it and it definitely would NOT be the last time we saw each other. This felt like a challenge to me so I began a NC. It’s only been 3 days. But is it likely that since he didn’t believe me that he will contact me or is he going to be a stubborn guy? Both sound possible but I also think he still really wants a physical relationship with me. I don’t want to completely push him away though and the NC scares me into thinking I will sometimes!
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 11, 2017 at 4:12 pm
he would likely contact you but even if he doesn’t..the more important thing is that you dont have sex with him again…check this one:
My Ex Boyfriend Wants To Sleep With Me… Should I?
Pihu
May 7, 2017 at 4:28 am
Hi Chris,
Me n my boyfriend were in 2 year relationship.1.5 we were best friend then came to relationship..But from the day one of our friendship he wants to be my bf.After came to relationship I cross my limit,I had sex with him because he was ensured me for marriage but now then after his going to marry with another girl who is choosen by his parents..N saying me he loved me previously but now he loved me as friend n he said that new one his priority. And some time say his doing this all under pressure..I know his making me fool.. Because most of the time I called him and fight with him that why his doing with me and he pick my call because he always try to show his a nice guy.now his public announced about his fauncy and after one month his going to marry her,so I unfriend him because I can’t see him with anyone else,it’s hurting me alot..And I said sorry to him for my all kido behaviour..But he didn’t call me..What to do to get him back.ican’t live without him
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 7, 2017 at 3:23 pm
if it’s really sure that he’s getting married, you have to accept it and let it go.. if you still want to do the no contact rule, that’s ok but be realistic, once he’s married, he’s married..
Hopeful
May 4, 2017 at 9:53 pm
In six days I’ll be able to reach out to my ex. He has liked and commented on stuff I post on Facebook, occasionally, but has not once messaged me directly. I have been undergoing health issues that he’s known about and the fact that he hasn’t reached out at all to ask if I’ve been okay makes me feel like he doesn’t care.
I also still have a book of his he let me borrow and he has mine. We’re going to have to make that exchange at some point, and I want it to be in person. He said he wanted to stay friends and that we could still hang out, but again, hasn’t directly messaged me to try and check in on me. I’m unsure of what I should say when NC is up and I’m free to message him again, or if I even should.
Hopeful
May 11, 2017 at 9:53 pm
I reached out to my ex yesterday, when my 30 days of NC were up.
Me: “Thank you for letting me borrow x book. I really enjoyed it and it was the first book I’ve finished in years, even if it took me a while to finish.”
Him: “No worries. I would have finished yours but I started reading x book and it’s consumed my free time.”
Me: “It’s fine. I’ll probably try to look for the second and third book of x trilogy (of the book he let me borrow) some time.”
He left me on read and didn’t reply. So, against better judgement I asked when he wants his book back, and he went, “Uh. Idk. Work increased my hours so I don’t have a lot of time. I really don’t know when, it’s up in the air right now.” I replied with, “All right, I understand.” and he didn’t reply since then.
Should I go back on NC and if so, for how long?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 12, 2017 at 7:11 pm
nope.. you can initiate again after 3-5 days if you want
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 5, 2017 at 4:25 pm
check this one:
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message
Amy
May 4, 2017 at 3:58 pm
Hi,
I totally love your article keep up the good work.
I had been having problem with my boyfriend of 9months. I found out he was texting his ex again and i confronted him. He apologized (he even cried). I forgave him but because the betrayal was hard, i took it out on him alot. We argued alot. And i understand i was to blame so many of our arguments could have been avoided.
He began showing signs of lack of interest. He wanted to spend less time, he eventually called less and texted less. This drove me crazy, i kept asking him what was wrong which drove him even more distant. An argument last week he said he needed space to save our relationship. His rules were, no texting him unless he does first, no calling him unless he does first and no showing up to his house. His texts were cold and ‘robot like’ but he texted everyday. I tried to keep up and respect it. I really did. One day i felt really sick but all he did was text and i felt like he could have done more atleast only while i am sick. So yesterday i decided to begin the no contact rule. He sent a text asking how i was and did not respond. He also called and i did not respond. My mother said it was the biggest mistake of i could make and i was driving him away. So i calles back but my answers were short. I am not sire what is going on but now he is ignoring me. All day he has not checked on me and neither have i. Have i lost him for good? Should i reach out? Will the no contact rule bring him back. Its less than 24hrs ans the longest we have not spoken to eachother.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 5, 2017 at 3:47 pm
you’ve already tried to talk to him right? But I think you need to rest from initiating for a week.. if he does initiate, answer and talk about the status of your relationship..if he doesn’t, proceed to no contact rule of at least 30 days
Amy
May 4, 2017 at 3:44 pm
Hi,
I totally love your article keep up the good work.
I had been having problem with my boyfriend of 9months. I found out he was texting his ex again and i confronted him. He apologized (he even cried). I forgave him but because the betrayal was hard, i took it out on him alot. We argued alot. And i understand i was to blame so many of our arguments could have been avoided.
He began showing signs of lack of interest. He wanted to spend less time, he eventually called less and texted less. This drove me crazy, i kept asking him what was wrong which drove him even more distant. An argument last week he said he needed space to save our relationship. His rules were, no texting him unless he does first, no calling him unless he does first and no showing up to his house. His texts were cold and ‘robot like’ but he texted everyday. I tried to keep up and respect it. I really did. One day i felt really sick but all he did was text and i felt like he could have done more atleast only while i am sick. So yesterday i decided to begin the no contact rule. He sent a text asking how i was and did not respond. He also called and i did not respond. My mother said it was the biggest mistake of i could make and i was driving him away. So i calles back but my answers were short. I am not sire what is going on but now he is ignoring me. All day he has not checked on me and neither have i. Have i lost him for good? Should i reach out? Will the no contact rule bring him back. Its less than 24hrs ans the longest we have not spoken to eachother.
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 5, 2017 at 3:26 pm
you’ve already tried to talk to him right? But I think you need to rest from initiating for a week.. if he does initiate, answer and talk about the status of your relationship..if he doesn’t, proceed to no contact rule of at least 30 days
Kelly
May 3, 2017 at 11:26 pm
My boyfriend and I dated for over two years, and were serious and even spoke of marriage. I broke up with him cause I was closing myself off and was hurting him. I thought it was the best because I started to realize things weren’t the same. He started talking to someone barely two weeks after we broke up. That’s when I really broke down and begged him to take me back. He said he couldn’t do it cause his hearts not in it right now. I hurt him too badly and when he thinks of me that it’s really painful because of how I made him feel unwanted. I went into a bit of depression and he tried helping me through it because he still cares about me. But it only made things worse because I was still begging him to take me back. This only frustrated and made him angry.
He told me, he wants time and space because he doesn’t know what the futures holds for us, only that now is too soon right now. Meanwhile, he started talking to this other girl. And I get mixed signals about her from him. He has told me that he has “barely started to get to know her” and he says not really for anything anytime soon with anyone and he’s not over me yet. But the kisses and the hanging out and messages tell me otherwise. He told me that she isn’t a rebound(but that was after I was “being too much” and I told tell he wasn but since I made him feel unwanted and she’s there I think she is filling that hole and potentially is one. Is she a rebound, just someone to give him attention and make him feel wanted?
I also frustrated and begged too much that all he want to me to give him time and space cause of the pain so I started no contact cause I think that’s what he wants right now. He is still undecided about our future cause he says he doesn’t know what is going to happen. But what do I need to do since he wants little to no contact to make sure that he can look past the pain and to make sure he doesn’t get fall for this other girl ?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 4, 2017 at 3:16 pm
You can’t control other people.. The best you can do is to focus in yourself..do at least 30 days.. Improve yourself and aim to be an unbeatable girl. check this link:
The Ungettable Girl
Janet
April 30, 2017 at 9:08 am
First off, I love your “guides” !!!!
I started dateing my neighbor of 10 years shortly after my marriage of 15 years had ended in a divorce due to physical abuse by my husband.
My neighbor and I always talked and my kids and his son practicly grew up together.
When my soon to be ex husband was in the slammer for 7 months (Domestic Violence) he would come over and help me with my 3 children (at that time 13yrs, 10 yrs and 14 months old) he was a great help and even his parents came over and helped me out during that difficult time myself and my children were facing. He wasn’t just my neighbor…he was my friend. We enjoyed just talking and watching our kids hang together.
A short while after my divorce was finale we started to actually date.
We dated on and off for 3 years…he never lived with me witch is good because I was starting to realize our relashionship was more toxic than any thing. We were better off at just being friends, but we tarnished that with trying to be a couple.
I moved to Las Vegas, NV December of 2016 to be near family and start a better life for my children (Ex was constantly stalking me and, drinking, turned to drugs, was in and out of jail constanly and he even beat up my boyfriend) I was not sad leaving my so called boy friend behind, I was relieved …I can finally get away from all the negativity and drunkenness (see my boy friend was an alcoholic, not an angry drunk but just plain stupid!) He started getting worse, couldn’t hold a job and turned into some one I didn’t know any more.
He went into a rehab 3 times in those 3 years and again after I moved to NV but then on occasion he started ignoring me ….I’m taking it that he didn’t want me to know he was drinking again. Three months after I moved out here he totaled his car from drunk driving.’ Hes out on bond and goes to court in May.
I ended up over Face Book messager ….on a day he was ignoring me told him I was done for good. That got his attention! Of course I got the whole “your crazy’ and him trying to turn it around like he was breaking up with me. I immediately did the No Contact and so did he. Its been almost a month now.
I don’t want him back, he is an alcoholic, he’s promised many times he was going to get sober and stay sober..blah, blah ……..
But I do miss him and care about him. I miss our conversations (when he is sober for awhile) I want to know if he misses the same, if he misses me and my kids that he’s watch grow up for the past 13 years? Does he miss that friendship we once had?
I just wish I could talk to him again. I don’t want to be the one to break the NC Rule.
What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 30, 2017 at 2:12 pm
it’s ok to initiate contact after nc because you need to build rapport, as long as you’re the one ending the conversation at high note..
Nillie
April 27, 2017 at 12:58 pm
Hi, how r u? I need a little help. Ive met a guy, we were friends with benefits for 6 months, shared a very deep emotional connection and been through a lot together (hes dad passed away, we were together all along). I wanted something serious, and he chose to let go. After 3 weeks i sent a msg about something i asked him to do for me, and he couldnt stop thinkin about me and wanted to be together. After 2 amazing monthes we had a fight because i was disrespecful and flirty to other boys. I apologized, changed and became absolutely perfect. Despite it all, he became cold and distant and he broke up with me, saying that even though everything changed he cant get close to me and open up again. Will the NC work on him? Should i use jelousy in the process? And if i do, how do i make him see that im wanted and loyal the same time? I really did changed my behaviour, even though it took me some time. One more thing, i told him not to contact me again and not to come back when we broke up now. Does it have a big influence?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 30, 2017 at 8:11 am
It’s not yet too late.. Even if you didn’t cheat, approach it like you did because that what he thinks..
C
April 27, 2017 at 9:18 am
It seems to me that my ex falls into the “clueless” category! After 14 days of NC, he texted me saying he really enjoyed watching and relating to this drama series that I recommended before we broke up. I’ve not responded, should I still stay in NC or how do I respond if you think should? He’s coming out of depression, so I’m wondering if that’s a factor for concern. Thanks!
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 30, 2017 at 8:02 am
just keep doing nc.. are you improving yourself and being active in posting?
Grace
April 26, 2017 at 9:52 pm
Hi,my name is Grace. I started dating this guy two years ago, I moved in with him later we started having little issues and we talk about it and make up,but sometimes ago,he said he needed space,I panicked I begged pleaded and all that but he was adamant. During a party,I got drunk and kissed a guy and that really got him angry and he said it was over. Do I really have a chance with him cos I really love him and don’t want to lose him. We are colleagues in work and I see him often. Pls I need your advise on what to do. Tnx
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 30, 2017 at 7:24 am
follow the advice on this one:
Fix Your Relationship If You Cheated On Your Ex Boyfriend Before Its Too Late (Video)
Caroline
April 26, 2017 at 5:02 am
This is complicated. We were friends for years. Then after my ex split, my beau started helping me through it because he was divorced (His wife had a 3 year affair with a family friend which he found out about while their older daughter was dying. He moved out shortly after she died.) After several months, the flirting started. Several months later we went to a weekend getaway with friends and ended up getting together. Neither one is really ready for a “relationship” but we talked every day, texted a lot. There is 500 miles between us so we’ve only had 3 weekends together (at his place) over the next 7 months. Periodically he would say he wasn’t ready for a relationship and we’d back off to be friends. But each time things progressed again he was the one who moved things forward. He was introducing me to his friends. He would say he wasn’t ready for a relationship but when he was it would be with me. (Which was funny and stupid at the same time!) Last month, the day before I came to visit, he finally told his daughter he was dating. She flipped out. (She doesn’t know about her mom’s affair and that she is still with the guy – she knows the guy but thinks he’s just an old friend!) She went to the house and went through my stuff while we were out. She doesn’t think he waited long enough (over a year after his divorce was final) and I get that it’s because her sister died, her parents split, and they sold the house all within a few months just 2 1/2 years ago. He told me he needed space to get his head together. He’s done that before a week was the longest. After 3 weeks (during which I sent supportive texts and calls, and then scared texts and calls,) he finally called to say we needed to go no contact for “a while” because he needed emotional space. I asked why we couldn’t step back to being friends – he said it never works because our feelings for each other are too deep now. I know he just needs space – and I want to give it to him. But I have no idea how much space/time. I know he’s not interested in someone else – he is trying to deal with his daughter and a stressful job and starting a side business. I’m not interested in dating anyone else either. But I don’t know if I should just wait for him to contact me? Or contact him in 30 days? Or longer? I’m worried if it goes on too long he’s not going to contact me because he’ll think I have moved on.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 29, 2017 at 10:10 pm
The proper no contact is, healing and improving yourself in a set time and then initiating contact after to build rapport slowly.
Jessica
April 26, 2017 at 1:59 am
I had a marriage of 10 years and 14 years altogether. We recently broke up because i found out he was cheating, but previous to that we had a crisis due to him not working andme getting frustrated about it. He was depressed, i was fighting and arguing every day, i mean I said and did some horrible things. He used to cry and all. I believe he was in a crisis and he seeked attention and validation with that girl… before all this our marriage was pretty good, we were partners in crime, but he always complained about his finances… long story short, its been nearly three months and he says its over and all, but his actions lead me to believe he is hurting. He is flaunting his girl in social media when he never post anything, we have been together that long and he has never post pictures of me. Recently he posted a video tongue kissing her and i was shocked since is a very reserved person. I told him i met someone and my friend said he did that to bother me… now he doesnt even reply to a text i sent about some stuff for his mom to whom i have a strong connection to. It is weird. I dont understand his behaviour. I did the NC for 3 weeks, after i told him i met someone… i dont know anymore. Any insight?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 29, 2017 at 9:58 pm
during nc.. how much did you improve and were you active in posting? Will he think you’re moving on if he sees your posts? You don’t have to date, but you have to improve and look like you’re moving on.
Eva
April 25, 2017 at 1:50 pm
The relationship with him was the most magical and real experience in my life, we were a fit in every way possible and were crazy about each other. He even offered to move in but very soon he told me that it was probably a rash decision and it’s not the time to live together. He assured me that he still wants to live with me, just not now.
After that I forgot the thing, we still were happy together. Until he started becoming distant, built a wall between us, didn’t want to see me that much often. I was also stressing more about my job, feeling lonely, insecure, even jealous. I tried to stay happy and positive, let him live his life, not be the crazy girlfriend. He started saying that he needs space, to think, be alone and yet met his friend every other day which hurt me. I asked if I give him enough time, he said I give him everything he needs. He still kept saying that I am his baby and he will never leave me.
Until one night during the phone call we started talking… He explained that he’s thinking very much what he should do with his life and wants to go home for a bit to think, be alone. He knows that he’s hurting me and maybe it’s issues from his last long term relationship that left him heartbroken.
Couple days later we met. He broke up with me, hugging and telling me that he still wants to be friends, he wants to be my best friend. He told me, he’s leaving London in two months, going to university because he finally found what he wants to do with his life. It hurts because it feels I would give anything to have my life with him. He only says that he doesn’t want any attachments now, wants to be free, not feel anything, be empty inside.
However we talk and sometimes meet. We hug, hold hands, don’t kiss though.
I was looking for ways to get him back for at least these last 2 months because I will not see him after that. All these breakup rules (no contact) do not work here. Or do they? We still care about each other. I don’t want the silent treatment. It can come after he leaves.
Isn’t a month too much if after 2 months we are completely out of each other’s lives?
And what do I say to him when he texts/calls me? We are on constant communication…. I can’t just ignore him. It’s ugly thing to do. I must say that I need some time to myself and heal, get him out of my heart… Or is it too much?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 29, 2017 at 9:32 pm
you’re already friendzoned, so you really need to do the no contact rule.
Michele
April 23, 2017 at 8:59 pm
Mine is complicated to the extreme. My (very recently ex) bf and i of almost 10 years werent happy for a while. Years. We loved each other but not happy, just comfortable and extremely codependent. He snapped while away for work and cheated on me. I was destroyed, still am. But he thinks we would have never broken up if he didnt, though he regrets it. The thing is, he hasnt stopped talking to her or sleeping with her (when he can meet her, we live in Rhode island and she lives in new York and is independent and very busy). It’s been messy, we have lived together the entire relationship and even worked together for most of it, i have 2 small side jobs but am not able to survive on my own. So im staying in our house until July when the lease is up bc i have no where else to go. Hes staying in hotels and traveling for work. He has come home a few times and we slept together (i didnt know he was still seeing her, only talking to her). He maintains that we need to go on our own paths if we ever have a chance again, i keep obsessing over this other girl and cannot move on bc of it. It’s really messed up. I could write about it for days but am trying to make it as short as possible. He said if he stopped talking to her he wouldn’t have the strength to stay away from me and we would fall back into our old rut right away. But the thing is after 10 years we have a LOT of stuff together and a dog. Our whole lives are extremely intertwined. So he hasnt moved out his stuff and has no where to put it anyway since he is on the road. He tried staying here but it wasn’t healthy. He left today and since we have so much mutual stuff to deal with i really can’t cut him out and do an NC. He tries to all the time but there are things we need to discuss from time to time, our dog, bills, our landlord, our old work etc. I dont know if it’s ego from this other girl that makes me want him back or not but i want him to stop seeing her as soon as possible as i cant get over it. He says it’s not serious like that and neither wants a relationship, but they go to great lengths to talk and see each other so idk how much of that is true. His whole family is basically my family and i cant deal with having to see any future of theirs bc i cant cut out his family. I guess I’m just asking what i should do. Ignore him as much as possible until it isn’t physically possible bc of outside circumstances? Is that enough? I want him to stop seeing her so we can take a real break without her influence to see if we could maybe come back together one day. Any advice? He has all the power now. I need some back so he gets so desperate to commit to a real break that he cuts ties with her.
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 29, 2017 at 7:58 pm
Hi Michele,
check this one:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend
Shay
April 23, 2017 at 12:41 am
Hi Chris,
I’m on day 29 of no contact. My ex broke things off with me last month. He has contacted me in some way almost every single day up until Sunday April 16th. That was the last time he reached out in any way. Tomorrow is day 30, which is supposed to be the end of no contact, but I’m afraid he may translate it as me only contacting him because he finally stopped contacting me. I’ve ran into him in person a couple of times during no contact and kind of blew him off to go do what I “needed” to do, with a smile on my face of course, but no contact outside of that. He inquired about why I had been ignoring him those times, but I never gave an answer to that question. Just ended the interaction as quickly as possible. So what do you suggest?? Still end no contact? If so, how do I text to not seem like I ended it only because he stopped reaching out (6 days ago)??
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 28, 2017 at 6:13 pm
It’s ok to extend for a week if you want
Sasha
April 21, 2017 at 8:16 am
Hi, I have been seeing someone for 7 months and when we became exclusive 2 months ago, he asked me to move in. I am his first girlfriend EVER. I was there every single day cooking, cleaning, and spending time with him but for some reason he hesitated to give me a key. I had been having roommate issues at the time so i slept at his place every night and went back after work but had to plan getting there at the same time as him because i had no key. After i got back to his place from speaking to my roommate about kicking him out we had a talk about how frustrating it was that i wasnt able to get in to his apartment on my own and he asked if it was a good idea that i move in now. Although i was feeling the same way i got upset that he chose that moment to bring that up and i packed all my stuff and left. I heard he’s been out partying and hooking up with chicks. I had a missed call from a private number at 5am three days after we broke up which i know was him but he hasn’t reached out since then and it has now been 2 weeks. How should i reach out after the 30 day NC period?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 26, 2017 at 4:41 pm
Check this one:
EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message
Smantha
April 18, 2017 at 9:05 pm
After 8 months into the relationship my ex proposed I told him I needed more time before deciding and it really upset him I told him yes a month or two later and our families even met. But slowly the relationship tapered and he said he feels our personalities don’t match and ended things. I did no contact, he came back around but didn’t want the relationship back just to be friends I said no to friendship but told him I still loved him and wanted a second chance with texts I slowly started things again we were back talking on the phone every day me calling more saw each other 4 times in 3 months but I felt it was just a friendship got tired told him u r not trying and not giving a true second chance this is just a friendship he said I don’t think we are a good marriage case and our personalities clash I told him I don’t agree and he would see that if he gave us a true second chance If just for a month and went on nc he is definitely the stubborn type I have a feeling his family are also not too eager of the idea of us getting married is it over over? Will he break nc? I’m sure not planning to it’s day 17 of nc
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 25, 2017 at 5:58 pm
Both of you agreed not to talk to each other for a month?
Shay
April 18, 2017 at 3:14 am
Hi,
I’ve been dating a guy for just over six months – we broke up two days ago and haven’t been in touch since. We were local for a month and then did long distance. It was hard – we mostly texted and rarely spoke on the phone, because, like many men, he hated being on the phone. He wasn’t as verbally affectionate as I needed, but i knew he cared, and when we did spend time together, it was fun. We didn’t fight about much – really, our big issue was communication. He didn’t open up that much with me, and I’d get frustrated a lot, when I reached out for affection and he “jokingly” pushed me away. I kept telling him i needed him to show me he cared. I think he tried, but maybe i didn’t see it because i was always so focused on what i wasn’t getting, that i wasn’t giving him credit for the nice things he actually was doing? On the other hand, sometimes i feel like he wasn’t really trying. We broke up two days ago – he said it was obvious that he couldn’t make me happy. That even when he was trying, and did nice things for me, we still ended up in a fight. He said he didn’t see anything worth saving, and wouldn’t even really talk to me about it all. I think that if we’d communicated and sat down to have a real heart to heart, that we could actually have worked through a few things. But he seemed to easily be able to just leave and drive away. I don’t know if he was over it a while ago, and this was his chance to end it officially. I don’t know if he just ended it out of frustration. I do know he’s really stubborn, and I feel that if i don;t reach out, he never will. He’s the classic “Stubborn Guy” in your list above. I really want to talk things through, which he didnt give me the opportunity to do before he left. What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 25, 2017 at 12:38 pm
if he doesn’t want to talk, you should proceed to do the no contact rule
Massey
April 17, 2017 at 8:36 pm
Needing help please. I met this guy who’s 10 years older then me (I’m 32) 3 years ago. I was married at the time we talked and hung out alot. I slept with him once. My husband caught us in august 2014. We ended all contact. A year later he contacted me saying he missed me. I was then divorced from my husband. I didn’t give him the time of day. In February of 2016 I told him I missed him and I loved him. We hung out for a few weeks, then I crashed and went back to my x. We ended all contact again. In February of this year I started reaching out to him again. He had just started dating someone. I sent him text, voice mails etc telling him I loved him and wanted to be with him and I regret ever leaving him. I am obsessed with texting him multiple times a day. He finally answered my call. And did text me a few times. He told me he did love me too and he missed me. He explained to me how good it would be for us to be together and how hard it is for him to ignore my texts everyday, but he cant talk to me bc he is seeing someone now . That was last week. He is now ignoring me again. It has been a week today since he has responded or spoke to me. I hurt him in the past, but I now want him so badly. Should I do the NC? It’s so hard seeing as I text him on a daily basis with no respond. What do I do? He loves me, but if he did and wanted me don’t u think he would leave her
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 24, 2017 at 7:06 pm
yup, you should do at least 30 days of nc.. and check this one:
The Ungettable Girl