Today we’re going to be talking about what you can do to make your ex chase you.
However, before we get started on that the first thing I recommend to all newbies wondering if they have a chance of getting their ex back is to check out our Ex Recovery Chances Quiz. So, here’s everything I want you to do,
- Stop everything you’re doing
- Visit this page
- And complete the basic quiz
It’s a simple two minute quiz I put together designed to help you understand what kind of chance you have of getting your ex back.
Ok, now that we have that out of the way let’s begin,
How To Make An Ex Chase You
In the video above I actually put together a presentation to teach you the basics behind how you can actually accomplish the seemingly impossible goal of making your ex miss you. I can’t recommend watching or listening to it enough.
Oh, and make no mistake about it.
Forcing your ex to chase you is not an easy thing to accomplish.
The first thing I would like to talk about are some of the biggest misconceptions that people have about making an ex chase them.
The Biggest Misconceptions People Have About This Process
The first big misconception that people have is that you can’t expect one singular strategy to get the job done. Instead, I’ve always found that it’s going to be an arsenal of strategies working together in tandem that does the trick.
I also think it’s important to leave any preconceived notions about our strategies working 100% of the time at the door.
People have this belief where they think that if they just try hard enough and they do what I say their ex is going to chase them 100% of the time.
Reality doesn’t work that way.
There are a lot of details that I don’t have about your situation that can make or break you. I don’t believe in one size fits all solutions. Human beings are much too complicated for that. But what I do believe in and can show you are the best practices to dramatically stack the odds in your favor.
The final big misconception that people have is that this is an easy process.
Don’t delude yourself into believing that it is because in many cases you may be watching my videos, reading my articles or listening to my podcast because you’re having an issue with an ex even wanting to be around you.
So, getting them to do a complete “180” is not an easy thing.
3 Strategies To Make An Ex Chase You
I’ve learned over the years that making an ex chase you can be boiled down into three pretty simple concepts.
These concepts are going to create a necessary foundation that you are going to use to build your entire “ex back” campaign.
- The No Contact Rule
- Creating A Sense Of Mystery
- Utilizing The Fear Of Loss
So, the first thing that we’re going to be talking about is the most popular strategy in my area of expertise, the no contact rule.
The second thing we’re going to be talking about is creating a sense of mystery.
The third thing we’re talking about is going to be raising the stakes by creating a sense of a fear of loss.
1. The No Contact Rule To Make Your Ex Chase
What is the no contact rule?
Well I’ve written about 50 articles on it.
I’ve done multiple videos on it,
I’ve even done a lot of podcasts about it and a lot of people really use my ideas of how to employ the no contact rule when they actually go about trying to get their exes back.
However, if you want a quick crash course version it’s pretty simple.
The no contact rule is simply a period of time where you ignore your ex no matter what.
This is done in an attempt to make them miss you while at the same time cultivating your own personal life.
(Side Note: there are some situations where you can break the no contact rule in certain areas)
For the most part the bare minimum definition of the no contact rule is, you ignore your acts for 30 21 45 days and hopefully by the end of that they’ll start missing you but here’s the thing that a lot of people seem to forget,
The no contact rule is the foundation upon which almost every successful “get your ex back” campaign is built on.
As you can see above, I have put a picture of a foundation being built for a house.
Well, it’s really the best analogy I can think of to describe how the importance of the no contact rule.
People who are building houses lay down the foundation first. They do this to make sure that the house is being built on something steady. After the foundation has been laid they actually start building out the rest of the house and giving it the character that every house needs.
In home building you can’t build a house on a weak foundation. The same is true of trying to make your ex chase you.
You need a strong foundation before that starts happening and that is what the no contact rule is going to do for you.
2. Creating A Sense Of Mystery
The second thing that I would recommend that you try to do is create a sense of mystery.
A lot of my coaching clients come to me and say,
Chris how do I create a sense of mystery?
Well, the first thing I point them to is some research done by a Russian scientist named Bulma Zeigarnik.
She is perhaps most well known for coming up with a concept called the Zeigarnik Effect which I know might sound familiar to some of the avid readers of Ex Boyfriend Recovery Program.
Zeigarnik Effect: Basically states that people remember uncompleted tasks better than completed ones.
Let’s say that you are having a conversation over the phone with your ex and then somehow the phone suddenly hangs up.
What is your first reaction to this circumstance?
It’s to try to immediately get your ex back on the phone, right?
This is a result of the Zeigarnik Effect.
Your task, of talking to your ex, got interrupted.
It created an open loop that you would do anything to close.
That’s where this whole idea of open loops and cliffhangers comes into play in Hollywood.
Have you ever taken notice of how TV shows are structured? Each episode tends to end on a crazy cliffhanger.
Well, it’s because week by week you’re getting drip fed a new episode and they know they have to do something to make you come back.
I suppose Netflix is kind of bucking that trend lately by releasing everything all at once however, the basic principle still applies in order to ensure that someone is going to continue watching your show.
The reason “binging” is a thing is because after the episode ends on a cliffhanger you immediately want to watch the next one to find out what happens next.
So, here is my ultimate point.
Every once in a while don’t be afraid to weak a few “open loops” into your conversations with your ex. It’ll really go a long ways to creating that sense of mystery you are finding so elusive.
3. Don’t Be Afraid To Use The Fear Of Loss
The third and final thing that I believe that you need to create if you want to make an ex chase you is a fear of loss.
The best analogy I make here is to actually point at one of the most popular shows on TV currently, game of thrones.
What is it about Game of Thrones besides great writing, great acting and great directing that makes it so great?
Well if you look at the plot of Game of Thrones a lot of people die.
And I mean A LOT,
It gives you this sense that anyone could die at any moment and it raises the stakes so everything that happens carries an extra weight.
I think a lot of times when people are trying to get their exes back they haven’t raised the stakes.
They’re not willing to do everything it takes to really create a fear of loss. They aren’t willing to convince their ex that they have moved on.
I’ve often been quoted on this site as saying,
You have to be willing to lose the guy, to get the guy
I still stand by that statement because I’ve seen it work just like that time and time again.