Today we are going to be talking about the signs that your ex boyfriend isn’t coming back.

I know it’s a scary thing to think about but it’s an important thing to understand so that you can properly diagnose your situation.

In all, there are going to be five signs that I am going to be talking about.

Each of these signs were chosen because they are the things that tend to contribute to a failed “get your ex back” campaign.

Let’s begin!

5 Signs That Your Ex Isn’t Coming Back

It’s interesting, so often you’ll see experts out there writing articles on signs that your ex is coming back but I thought I’d be a bit different and write an article about the signs that your ex probably isn’t coming back.

So, I went into my private “think tank” and came up with five signs that make it likely that your ex won’t be coming back.

  1. Your Ex Has Been Dating Someone New For Over Six Months
  2. You Can’t Get A Conversation Started At All
  3. Your Conversations Consistently Lack Substance
  4. Your Ex Is Getting Married
  5. It’s Been Longer Than 8 Months Since The Breakup

Now, I want to be clear about one thing before I start dissecting.

If you find yourself in a situation marred by these signs it doesn’t necessarily mean that you won’t ever get your ex back.

Believe it or not but I’ve had success stories from each one of the signs above except number four.

What it means is that if you find yourself in a situation with one of these signs (minus number four) your chances of success are significantly lower.

Ok, now that we have that out of the way let’s begin!

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Sign #1: Your Ex Has Been Dating Someone New For Over Six Months

Rebound relationships are something that I talk about a lot here on Ex Boyfriend Recovery.

A few months ago I got curious and asked myself a question that I wanted an answer to.

I wonder how long rebound relationships typically last?

The problem was that no matter how hard I looked I couldn’t find a legitimate answer.

In fact, no one even dared to attempt to answer it.

I decided to buck that trend and compile all of my internal data with a lot of external data to come up with a loose answer.

That resulted in me making this video,

In it I theorized that the average rebound relationship will last for around 5.2 months.

Ahem… That’s 5.2 Months For You Skimmers (I know you skipped the video.)

So, what does this mean?

Does this mean that if your ex has been dating someone new for at least six months you have zero chance of ever getting them back?

Not necessarily.

What it means is that at that 5.2 month mark your chances begin to plummet.

That’s why it’s important for you to implement the strategies here to set yourself up for success.

Sign #2: You Can’t Get A Conversation Started At All

A big deal is often made about tactics like “the no contact rule” and “playing hard to get” when it comes to winning an ex back.

However, an often overlooked thing is the importance of conversations.

In fact, I’d go as far as saying that conversations are the lifeblood of any successful campaign to get your ex back.

So, what happens when you can’t get a conversation with your ex started at all?

The answer is that it’s not a good sign.

You see, the way I look at it is that there are two parts to conversations with your ex.

  1. Quantity
  2. Quality

This particular sign is looking at “quantity.”

Quantity focuses on investment.

So, the more conversations your ex agrees to have with you the more likely they are to invest themselves emotionally into you.

I can already hear the naysayers out there spewing criticism like,

What’s the big deal? It’s just a conversation?

There are very few limited resources in this world if you really think about it.

Sure, humans like to make a big deal about “scarcity” but if you really think about it you can always get more of something.

Lost your favorite book?

No problem, here’s another.

Went through a breakup?

No problem, there are a lot of other people you can meet.

Resources that are truly limited are big deals.

Time is one of those resources.

No one knows how much time they have to play with.

So, what they do with that time is a big deal. They may not be aware of it but on some level we understand it.

So, if your ex is investing their most precious resource into you it’s a good thing.

If they aren’t… well, that’s bad.

Sign #3: Your Conversations Consistently Lack Substance

Where sign number two was all about quantity this sign is all about quality.

Let’s pretend for a moment that you and your ex have been text for a month.

They respond at a good clip but their responses lack substance.

Instead of getting engaged and excited responses you get short and tired ones.

Like this,

Notice how it skirts the line between being rude and being indifferent.

If you consistently get responses like this.

It’s not a good sign.

Now, the obvious question you have at this point is,

Wait, what can I do if I am in this situation? How can I turn it around?

Quite frankly, the best thing you can do is check out my book because I have an entire section in it dedicated to turning things like this around.

For now, let’s move on.

Sign #4: Your Ex Is Getting Married

Can I be honest with you for a moment?

Clients who come to me in this situation break my heart.

Well, perhaps that’s not entirely accurate.

It breaks my heart to break their heart.

Above I made a pretty telling statement.

I said that if you find yourself in one of the situations I am covering in this article it likely means that you’re chances have been significantly lowered. However, I have had success stories in every single situation so there is hope.

The one exception to that rule was sign number four.

Well, guess where we are?

I have yet to have a success story in a situation where your ex is getting married.

I want you to think about that for a moment.

Do you realize how many people I’ve had come through this website?

To date over 13 million people have visited this website,

Think about that for a moment.

Out of the 13 million men and women to visit this website not one has admitted that they got their ex back when their ex was getting married (or already married.)

I can’t even say that your odds are 13,000,000 to 1.

All I can say is that according to my research they are 13,000,000 to 0.

Sign #5: It’s Been Longer Than 8 Months After The Breakup

I am about to lay some serious truth on you.

And it may not be easy to hear.

Are you ready?

Contrary to what everyone will have you believe there is a point of time where your chances plummet to get your ex back no matter what you do.

Now, what do I mean by that?

It means that you have a window of opportunity where your chances “peak” and after this “peak” your chances probably won’t go up.

It looks kind of like this,

Now, is this a set rule?

No, there are always outliers but for the most part this is true.

Notice how the graph kind of makes an interesting looking triangle.

That is why I call this my “triangle theory.”

Most people fail to get their exes back because they attempt to make their moves in two distinct areas,

They either try too soon or too late.

Here’s where things grow complicated.

Everyone has a “different triangle.”

If I’ve learned one thing over the years it is that no two situations are alike.

The “peak” of the triangle is different for everyone. However, when I consult my vast knowledge of success stories I do notice one interesting trend.

Usually the “peak” occurs around three to seven months after the breakup,

How did I come to that conclusion?

Simple, most of our success stories occur around then.

Therefore, if we just consult some simple math and assume 8 months pass by since the breakup we can also safely assume that we are on the downward trend of the triangle arc.

In other words, right here,

And what did I say at the beginning?

One big mistake I see is people waiting too long to get their exes back.

Waiting eight months can significantly hamper your chances going forward.

20 thoughts on “Signs Your Ex Boyfriend Isn’t Coming Back”

  1. Carmelle

    November 9, 2018 at 1:46 pm

    Hi, Chris! Almost 2 years have gone by since my exboyfriend and I had a huge misunderstanding, thus, we broke up. For the past 2 years I have made effort to forget about what happened and moved on with life. Tried casually dating other men but I realized I am still not ready for a new relationship. Recently I have come to realize that I haven’t made peace with my exboyfriend and even myself. Do you think it is still a good idea to reach out to him or I should just completely forget about him? I still have a few what-ifs about us. Sadly, neither one of us attempted to contact each other for almost 2 years. What can you advise? Thanks in advance!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 10, 2018 at 2:09 am

      Hi Carmelle!

      Proud of you for making peace with yourself. That is the most important thing . I honestly don’t know the right answer for you about whether to move on completely or try one last effort. I personally would probably err on the side of risking a little pain and try to reach out to see if anything catches.

  2. Malinda

    November 7, 2018 at 8:04 pm

    My ex broke up with me four months ago. He immediately entered another relationship. I tried everything possible to get him back, even went through the crazy ex behaviors which was totally unlike me. He says he’s not happy in his new relationship but he’s content, says he still thinks about me every day and looks at my pictures on social media daily. He would only talk to me if I showed up at his house though. He didn’t respond to any contact over the phone or social media.
    I started the no contact rule about 14 days ago. He hasn’t reached out to me. He watches all of my Snapchat stories, still has all of our pictures on his Facebook page and creeps my Instagram. But he hasn’t contact me. I’ve started dating someone else now & I’ve posted pics of us on social media and I know he’s seen them. Still no contact from him. I’m so confused. Why does he creep me but refused to respond or have any contact whatsoever with me? What am I doing wrong? What should my next step be? HELP!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 8, 2018 at 3:03 am

      Hi Malinda….its partly about staying the course with your ex recovery plan. No Contact needs time Guys are that way sometimes. But you are getting bites and that is good. You may not be doing anything wrong. Stay the course on your Snap stories…maybe some subtle jealousy.

  3. georgiana aanicai

    November 7, 2018 at 4:46 pm

    Hi there, my name is Georgiana and I’m drol Belgium. A week ago my boyfriend broke up with me, because he doesnt know what he wants. He asked for time, bit i didnt give that,i texted him much.i saw him yesterday and asked if he wants is back together, bit he didnt know. Then i asked him if he still loves me and he said that he Sees me more as a friend, but we where almost2 years togheter and i know when he means something and he didnt Mean it. I started today with no contact, bit i don’t know what i need you do.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 8, 2018 at 3:06 am

      Hi Georgianna!

      I think NC will help. Pick up one of my lengthy eBooks to help you in your efforts so you fully understand how to implement your ex recovery plan.

  4. Tee

    November 7, 2018 at 6:16 am

    Hi!
    My ex left me and started dating a girl I knew for over a year as his school daughter. We did not have any issue before this beak up. It was so sudden that it left me really hurt. He keeps chatting me up once in a while to check up on me and still apologize for leaving. I am badly hurt and I still want him back. It’s like a burden in my heart because memories still pop up in my head and I shed tears. It happened this January. He is still with the girl he left me for. What can I do please?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 8, 2018 at 3:15 am

      Hi Tee!

      Do you have an ex recovery plan? If not, take a look at my home page on the site as I have a lot of tools and resources that might help!

  5. Melissa

    November 7, 2018 at 1:24 am

    Hi Chris,
    My story started 3 months ago. He and I have known eachother for 23 years. We kept in touch here & there over the years. We started dating this summer. He was showering me with love and gifts and even talked moving in and marriage. Literally 3 days after another wonderful weekend together, he called it quits. Told me he had too much going on. He’s since blocked me on his phone and blocked then unblocked me on fb. He won’t talk to me and I feel like he’s gone forever but his final words to me were “ I’m not saying goodbye as we don’t know what will happen later on” it’s been over a month. Am I being foolish to think he’ll ever come back?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 8, 2018 at 3:23 am

      Hi Melissa!

      No, I don’t think its foolish to have hope and put forth a sincere and sensible effort to win back your ex.

  6. Victoria

    November 5, 2018 at 8:51 pm

    Hi Chris!
    My ex broke up with me nearly 2 months ago… he went into a rebound relationship! i did the NC rule and after 25 days no contact he reached out and he said he is sorry and he wants to try and fix things.we were 9years together,work together also. We started to text,slowly then he came and visit me! We will work together again in 2weeks time! So he came and he asked me to try to fix things and he wants to be with me. So i agreed,i said we can fix things during that time when we will work again together.
    Now for 2 weeks he is working with his rebound…since they started working together he changed! He is with her again i think,and he said he is confused and we will see if something can happen between us.
    I went very upset and we dont talk now.
    Why did he do this to me? I dont understand,please give me some advice!
    Thank you so much

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 5, 2018 at 8:56 pm

      Hi Victoria!

      Guys do that…slide right into a rebound relationship. He sure is confused and weak and you have a right to be upset. Part of his behavior is driven by chemical hormones associated with the blush of a new relationship. I think you should employ NC in the way I teach it and focus on your own healing. My sense is that at some point in the future, he will have a wake up all as he is close to blowing it with you for good.

  7. Hannah

    November 5, 2018 at 5:09 pm

    I’ve been reading your blogs and watching your videos since a month and half after my split with my bf. I wasn’t broken up with, I was ghosted. After a relationship where I was his everything, there were rumors about him flirting towards the end and he was beginning to pull away. I was nothing but amazing to him, and he left by not responding to my voicemail “Hey I want to work this out but I also need to know if you want to breakup.” It has been so painful and brutal. I sent him a letter as closure for me telling him how I interpreted his actions and that I was moving on. His mom even has expressed how heartbroken she is and has reached out to me. Did he have the grass is greener syndrome? Can someone I was with for two years really think he can just exit like that and move on? Is he plagued with guilt? What should I expect? Him to crawl back around Christmas (He also creepily sees all my stories really fast, so it’s obvious he’s still keeping tabs but won’t like my pics) Does he just need more time?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 5, 2018 at 9:20 pm

      Hi Hannah!

      thanks for read my posts and watching the videos. It was mean of him to ghost you. I hate that when guys pull that stunt. Could be a grass is greener. I remember responding to your story earlier today as you sent it to my support email.

  8. Kate

    November 4, 2018 at 1:17 am

    My ex has told me to ‘move on’and leave him alone
    I did break his heart..and then he broke mine and justified that by what i did
    Its been a year and I still love him
    I think he is over me ,he blanks me if he sees me..
    I cant do anything.
    But i cant move on either..its a living hell actually
    Is this the most hopeless post ever?!
    I think at this point i need to stop reading your advice as its all redundant but it helps me nit feel so crappy..

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 4, 2018 at 4:31 am

      Hi Kate!

      I know it can be hard to completely let go and a very small part of you will always have select memories. But you will heal and you will travel different paths. In my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book” there is a large section that deals with recovery. And also check out some of my podcasts that I have done with experts in the field that deal with personal recovery….you will find it on my Home Page. You are going to be OK Kate!

  9. Anne

    November 3, 2018 at 8:19 am

    Am in Nairobi Kenya. In this part of the world, being bi or gay is completely unacceptable and people don’t like talking about that kind of stuff. My ex boyfriend is bi. We had a disagreement because I wrongfully assumed that he would turn gay in future. He’s been ignoring my texts but still answers my calls. We’ve set a coffee date next weekend. I love him alot and I don’t want to lose him… Please help me regain his trust… How do I show him that I care about him irregardless of his sexuality?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 4, 2018 at 1:03 am

      Just take things slow and try to be open and transparent with your feelings and encourage him to do the same.

  10. Vee

    November 3, 2018 at 1:32 am

    Hi Chris!
    I’d really like a response.
    My ex boyfriend and I dated for 9 months. He broke up with me 3 months ago because of my insecurities and trust issues. I didn’t like the fact that he was still close friends with his ex girlfriend despite knowing that she was still very much in love with him and wanted him back, that made me quite insecure and we ended up fighting over that same issue weekly. The relationship was on and off.
    He got tired of our usual fights and insecurities and broke up with me.
    I did everything that made me looked desperate during the first month of the breakup Just to get him back but he told me to Move on and that he wanted us to be just friends.I have since started working on my insecurities and myself in general.
    I stumbled on this site 2 months ago and I read about NC. I did the 30 day no contact and he still didn’t reach out to me. I haven’t texted him either, I know he isn’t seeing anyone yet.
    I want to know if it’d be worth it to reach out to him.
    Is there any chance of me ever getting back with an ex who CLEARLY told me to move on? I still love him and want him back but I honestly don’t want to give myself false hope

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 3, 2018 at 2:15 am

      Hi Vee!

      I can see that you have been thru a lot. That is part of my program. I discuss in great detail in my 485 page eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” and also in select articles on the site. One needs a sensible ex recovery plan to better their chances so there are a few more things you can try. Even if it doesn’t work out, you will know you gave it your best effort.

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