393 thoughts on “Legitimate Reasons You Should Get Back Together With Your Ex Boyfriend”

  1. Avatar

    Celeste

    October 9, 2016 at 11:06 am

    Hi,
    So my boyfriend of 3 and a half years just broke up with me.
    He said that he’s changed too much and has fallen out of love with me.
    But when he was having these feelings he never said anything. Never gave me the chance to fight for us, to work it out.
    He’s not the only one that’s changed, I have too. But I have always thought to myself is this relationship right, and my conclusion was always yes.
    I just dont understand how he could go from planning the rest of our lives together to nothing.
    I want him back, we just click and are always wanting the same things.
    I just need some help with what to do

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      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 10, 2016 at 11:02 pm

      Hi Celeste,

      so he grew out of the relationship? Do you want to try what’s advised in the last article you posted?

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    nico

    June 22, 2016 at 9:08 pm

    my boyfriend an i of 2 years broke up last week. i said some mean things out of anger, i was upset and just wanted to talk about how i was feeling that day. he told me he didnt want to listen to anything i had to say anymore about the subject because it was about one of our mutual friends that was upsetting me at work and i told him it upset me that he said that to me. i felt lonely becuse my boyfriend in my best friend and i felt like i had no one to talk to. i felt annoying. i asked him if he wanted a break which i dont believe in and he said why and things just escalated so quickly.. i said such mean things like he makes me feel lonely and shitty all the time. i dont know why i said that if thats not even true. i told him i always try to help him achieve things but he gives up when things get hard and doesnt want my help. then he stopped talking to me for a few days i even tried to contact his mom so i can tell him how sorry i was. he told me i should move on, im so positive i hurt his feelings he told me that when i said he makes me feel shitty he got deeply saddened and thought i was feeling this way for a while. he said he didnt want to see me cry anymore and deal with the pain that is caused when we fight. i told him we can fix things i know we can he agreed but i knew for the 2 days we ‘tried’ he wasnt feeling it. he told me he loves me but why cant we fix it? he told my mom that he loves me but he doesnt love himself

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    Jenny

    June 5, 2016 at 2:15 pm

    Hi-
    My boyfriend and I of almost 3 yrs just split up. We were living together for over a year, and the living together made our relationship a lot more difficult. I tend to be messier, and have two cats, which shed and make noise- something he hasn’t lived with. He has struggled with being emotionally detached and unavailable, and we sought couples’ counseling with the understanding that we’d do it for 6 mos. Now, 1 mo in, he says that it’s better to break it off now than wait 5 mos because he didn’t feel it changing. This breaks my heart, but I think it’s better to be with someone that is happy to be with you and makes you happy. The thing is, we’re taking 2 mos of no contact, but will contact each other in ~2 mos to see how we have progressed and likely will meet up as friends first, to see if the changes we’ve made to ourselves is more compatible. Can someone give me advice if this is absurd to hold on hope that after 2 mos we’ll be better people and more compatible? I feel like I am losing my best friend and I’m not sure how I’m going to make it through 2 mos. I’m really scared that the time will erase any lasting feelings that we have for eaach other, but I’m holding onto hope that we’ll both change and be able to fully give to each other when we do see each other again. Can you please give me advice on what you think of this?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 15, 2016 at 5:01 am

      Hi Jenny,

      I think it’d beyter if you ise that two months to improve yourself because that’s what he would be least expecting when you see each other again

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    Sarah

    May 9, 2016 at 9:23 pm

    Okay, so I know this is going to sound crazy but I am 17 and I have..well had this boyfriend of 2 years. My parents disapproved of him and so after the first year we broke up and then we were still going to school together and were still really close friends and then around August this year we decided to give it another try. Our break only lasted for a month or so and so we just kind of picked up where we left off. But before I met him I had a really great guy friend and that’s all we were! We tried dating and we did nothing (not even a kiss!!) and we decided that it was just to awkward we knew to much about each other and we were better off friends and in a relationship. So when I started dating my boyfriend I was still talking to my best friend and my boyfriend didn’t say much about it at first but then as the relationship got more serious he told me he didn’t want me talking to him. We talked about it and we compromised to where I could talk to him but I needed to find “girl”friends to hang out with. And so when we broke up I didn’t really know who to go to with my pain. So I went to back to the guy friend and we got really close again. We became closer friends than we were before but again it was nothing more than just friends. And so a few weeks ago my ex texted me wanting to hang out and I still wasn’t over him and this was just what I wanted! So I went and hung out with him. And we ended up sleeping together. And then come to find out two days after we slept together he HAD another girlfriend while we were apart, and they had just broken up three days before he texted me. He doesn’t know that I know so I decided to see how he felt or if he was going to be honestly with me. Because at this point I felt as if it was just a booty call and I was pretty hurt, but our relationship before was really serious and we said I Love You everyday and we were happy with each other and everything was good and then out of the blue he broke up with me because of my guy friend. So he eventually told me about this other girl (only after I asked him if he did anything with anyone else while we were apart) and I can’t help but shake the feeling that he is just using me for a sex. And so here is my problem, the way we met was he transferred schools and came to my school well a few months ago I transferred schools, and it was to a bigger school and I met this guy and he is super nice but I don’t know if anything will ever happen between us. So do I try to fix things with my ex (even with my concerns of him just using me) or do I drop the whole thing and go for this other guy (who I think likes me but I could be wrong)? The only reason I would get back together with my ex is because we have a past and our break up was really hash and we were happy with each other, but there are so many what if’s…..HELP!!!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 10, 2016 at 4:22 am

      Hi Sarah,

      don’t choose anybody.. if he wants to go back with you, let him work for it.. if the new guy wants you, let him prove it.. right now, choose yourself and improve yourself and let them do the work.. if the show more effort or not, at least you didn’t lose anything and you continued to focus on yourself.

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    Kel

    May 9, 2016 at 1:40 am

    Hi πŸ™‚

    My ex and I split 4 months ago after a 5 and a half year relationship. After the split I have seen the errors of our relationship and have realise exactly where I went wrong. My ex and I are perfect for each other in every way, we have so much in common, we want the same kind of lifestyle for our future, and we are so good for each other. We make each other happy. I have recently been doing a lot of research into the 5 languages of love and also how to get him back. I was getting upset all the time in the last 6 months of the relationship because I had it in my head that he didn’t love me because he never told me (he has but not often) I recently found out he has been saying it in other ways.

    I truly believe with my whole heart that we are meant to be together and I want to do everything I can to give us the best possible chance of this to happen.

    I really need to know if I have a serious chance, I did the test it said yes but circumstances have changed a bit.

    He still has some of my stuff at his house and he knows I want it back, he did bring some but kept some of it still. Im at day 19 of the no contact rule and even though I have recently found out he is actually dating someone else as hard as it has been I have not contacted him and gone crazy like i normally would have lol playing it cool is extremely hard but I’m so determined I want him back the current heartache is worth it.

    However, he still has my stuff, when no contact is over do I use that as a way of communication or should I leave it with him for now and follow the reminder steps? if it doesn’t work out I still really need those things he has back, I don’t know why he even kept them when he dropped the other stuff off.

    we have not split on bad terms and we have spoken a lot since he break up, until now. and he is still very nice to me even though the past 19 days he’s not tried to contact me at all, my guess is he’s busy with the new play thing lol

    what do i do? please help me

    1. Avatar

      Kel

      May 11, 2016 at 4:40 am

      lol ok πŸ™‚

      great plan thank you πŸ™‚

      also just to report, since i have ignored his msg he has been stalking my online profiles πŸ™‚ I’m feeling more confident now that I’m doing the right things. Fingers crossed that this new chick is just a rebound.

      I have also recently posted some gorgeous pics of myself looking amazing so I’m thinking i have his mind in a tizzy about me at the moment, heres hoping : ) they are a touch seductive ; )

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      Kel

      May 10, 2016 at 5:00 am

      I think you have it backwards, the stuff is my stuff that he has at his house. He has been holding onto it ever since we broke up. I have asked him numerous times for it back and he has delivered some of it back to me but kept some of it at his house.

      The stuff belongs to me and he has been delaying getting it back to me. He keeps saying he has been to busy to bring it back to me. He keeps sending me txt messages every now and again to let me know he has not forgotten about the stuff he has of mine. However he has yet to make the decision of when he is going to bring it back to me.

      He has to deliver it to my house as its some outdoor chairs and camping stuff along with other bits and pieces that can’t be handed over in a public place.

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 10, 2016 at 9:50 am

      hahaha no I understand the items was yours.. but I didn’t understood that he was using to keep talking to you and that it’s not actually something to just hand off! Hahaha! okay, let’s say he sends another text about that during nc, just don’t reply.. except if he really says that he’s actually giving it that day.. and only talk about that, nothing else because you’re still in nc.

      so, after nc, it’s better if you don’t talk about the stuff, if that’s the topic he opens about, just say ok… and then move on to the topic that he’s interested about.

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      Kel

      May 9, 2016 at 11:40 pm

      So funny enough, he txt me last night really late saying he hasn’t forgotten about my stuff he’s just been busy, (i know busy means with the new chick but he won’t say that to me) because I’m in the NC time i have ignored his msg(its extremely hard to ignore him, i feel so rude) but then i noticed he checked into whatsapp about 10 mins after he sent it. i have read receipt on my phone so he knows I’ve seen the msg, Im guessing he was checking up on me maybe?

      No contact is extremely hard to do but I’m going to power on thru it, I’m so determined to have him back.

      question tho, when i do contact him i don’t want it to be about finalising the relationship by asking for my stuff back, so do i stick to the plan of making him remember all the good and leave the stuff till i know for sure that its not going to happen (if it comes to that) or do i get that out the way so he has no excuse to contact me if he doesn’t want to?

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      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 10, 2016 at 4:35 am

      the remembrance texts is better sent when there is enough rapport built enough already.. it’s better if you set aside the things and if he contacts you for it.. then just answer if you’re going to take it and when to meet up

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      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 9, 2016 at 8:57 am

      Hi Kel,
      continue on with no contact..be active in improving yourself and posting it.. if you want you can use your things as a reason for a first meet up when you’ve build enough rapport and attraction and then meet up in a placr where you can talk like a coffee shop

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    Kary

    May 2, 2016 at 5:17 pm

    Hello, I have been reading your stuff all this week. My boyfriend of a year and 3 months broke up with me out of the blue a week ago. His reasoning was that although I had everything a man could want he just didn’t think he would ever care about me the way I care about him. The thing about the situation that gets me is why did he take so long to tell me when I was always very honest to him and told him that if he wasn’t into something serious to let me go. He hasn’t called me or text me. I began the nc but I had a moment of weakness on Saturday. Will he ever see that he actually cares? Or is this really the end of it all? Should I attempt reaching out to him?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 4, 2016 at 8:22 am

      Hi Kary,

      maybe because he doesn’t have the guts to hurt you.. it’s easier to stay because it’s less hassle.. when he said he didn’t care about you the way you cared for him means he’s not that in love with you, there’s not enough attraction and desire and maye it got boring

      start nc.. work on yourself, improve and build a new life apart from him.. do it for yourself.. set him aside for a month and focus on you only.. if you message him, you would be chasing him

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    Jacinda

    February 22, 2016 at 9:09 pm

    Hi, I got my ex boyfriend back but really need some help. We split over the holidays, he was freaked out that we were moving too fast (we had dated for 11 months an saw each other about 4-5 times a week) He was going through financial problems and felt like he wasn’t able to give me what I deserved. He wanted to stay friends but I couldn’t so I went nc. After about 3 weeks he contacted me telling me he needed me in his life and missed me so much he couldn’t lose me because of money trouble (it is short term problem) I agreed to meet and talk. Anyway I agreed to start seeing him again. For first 6 weeks it was great, we went on fun dates, been away for a weekend, he was texting daily and I felt happy and felt my trust coming back, we were only seeing each other twice a week and just taking it slow. Then suddenly he’s gone distant and cold. His texts just dramatically decreased one day, then it turnt into 4 days, he still sent odd message and always replies when I text, then I only saw him for couple hours that week, no more. When I next saw him next I told him I was feeling worried, the lack of communication concerned me and I wanted to check if he was ok, was anything troubling him etc.. we spoke for a few hours I told him how I felt, and I’d likea bit more time with him. He is working extra to help him out of his financial situation which I understood, I asked him what he wanted and he said he still feelst he same but I’m not his top priority at the moment, but I’m important and he will try. I saw this as all positive, but then he didn’t contact me for last two days? I sent him one message just seeing how his day was and something funny about my day, he did reply but it seemed quite short sharp responses. I feel totally confused? He said he still wants to be with me so do I just ride out this for couple months whileh e gets his finances sorted, or am I missing something in the way he is acting? I really need some advice, Thankyou

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 24, 2016 at 4:15 am

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    Rue

    February 22, 2016 at 11:32 am

    I think I remember seeing an article about “Should you get back with your ex”. Do you have the link? I can’t find it through any of my searches. This no contact thing has been an eye opener (I’m on day 20). It’s really giving me time to sort out my thoughts and get some perspective. I’ve had this crazy irrational love for my ex from the start, with my brain constantly fighting with my heart. We’re polar opposites (Fire and ice I’d tell him) Putting a little space between him and I is beginning to make me wonder if I should even bother trying to get him back. I have thought I’m “dating down” so to speak and that I can do better, but my crazy heart couldn’t let go. While I’m sure I’ll flip back and forth on this because I do love him, I at least feel like I’m getting a grip on myself and learning to think more about what I actually want/need out of a relationship and not settle for someone who has potential, but would require a great deal of patience. My ex is 13 years younger than me and has been so damaged in the past that he can be hard to love. But I’m beginning to see that I also need to love me and find a relationship that has a healthier two way street. (Which makes me feel sorry for him). I’m sure I’ll be lonely for a while, but I’ll be less conflicted. I always felt like he held me at arms length and it hurt. If 20 days can affect me so much, I’ll be curious to see where I’ll be after 30. I’m no spring chicken, so the less time I waste on potentially fruitless relationships the better. Even if I have a weak spell and do give it a second chance, I know for a fact that things would have to be different or I’m done for good. I’m at least strong enough to do that now. In the last 20 days I’ve gotten a new job, am living on my own, quit a super strict religious life, begun exercising and am reaching out to new and old friends to do things with. I’m learning to live again and it’s kind of freeing.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 23, 2016 at 10:49 am

      Hi Rue,

      I think this article is what you’re pertaining to
      EBR 016: Should You Take Your Ex Boyfriend Back?

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    Wani

    February 21, 2016 at 6:25 am

    Hi Chris. I know you have been getting these questions a lot but I am just so confused right now. I was with my ex for over a year before we broke up. I’m only 18 and he is 20 but the feelings we both had felt so real. He is my first ever love and the first ever guy I introduced to my family and friends. We broke up due to him being too controlling of what I do and I was so annoyed with it. He was controlling every single aspects of my life.

    I just graduated high school at that point of time and was working while waiting for college to start and that’s how I met him(at work).Everything was fine at first he was this perfect guy ever for me and I was looking forward to work just because of him. However, after like 4-5months of being with him that is when things started to go downhill. I mean yes, I get it I went to a new school and all and he is insecure about it but at the same time I was so annoyed by him. Every single thing I did I had to update him about them. He even refrained me from going to any camps or social activities that requires me to mix around with guys. Well yeah basically we fought everyday since then until one day before our first ever anniversary I couldn’t tolerate it anymore and I left him.

    It has been a month plus now since we broke up and the both of us still aren’t doing any better. So much happened within the month with him going out with his ex again as friends and me contacting other guys now, him bad mouthing about me online to me ranting out a whole lot of craps with my friends about him but even after all that, at the end of the day we both know we just can’t live without each other. A few days ago we met up and talked things out and I kind of agreed on getting back together with him as I thought it would make me happier and that things between us would be better but I don’t know why I just don’t feel happy. Yes, I can see he has changed he has realised his mistakes and all but for the past few days of being back with him I just don’t feel happy like how I should be. Why is that so? I really don’t know what to do now. I don’t want to lose him forever but also I don’t feel too good being with him back. Please help. Thanks so much for reading.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 21, 2016 at 2:44 pm

      Hi Wani,

      you don’t want to lose him because you’re used to him being in your life? or you love him? You’re the only one who can answer why you’re not happy.. think about it for now

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    faith

    November 28, 2015 at 10:07 am

    i want to know if my reason is ligitimat reason me and my boyfriend really connected and even though we have been broken up for a month or two i still think about him constantly my friends keep telling me that i need to find someone new but i cant even begin to think about starting a new relationship when i do i realize i dont want to start a new relationship i want him back i opened myself and felt love towards him that ive never felt for anyone else i knew he was the right guy for me but i fear that the reason he broke up with me was because things were starting to get serious im younger then most but does that mean that what we felt for each other wasnt real. we both admited that we were falling for each other we always told each other love you before school in the morning and at night before bed everyday could it be that he was scared that he was falling for me he told me that it wasnt me but i feel like it was i mean i cant stop thinking about him i dream about him every night i just want to know what to do i know he was the one for me but i dont know how to go about getting him back ive read many sites but i am a very nervous person and i get really nervous when i try to talk to him im only a teen but that doesnt mean anything does it? my family and friends keep telling me that there will be someone else but i know in my heart that he was the one. It’s instinct i get a pit in my stomach because i dont know what to do to get him back i know what i felt waas true love no matter what everyones says what to do?

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    Minnie

    November 15, 2015 at 8:11 am

    Hi ,
    So my ex and I were together for two years before we broke up . I had broke up with him because over time he just began to change and became really insecure and almost inhibiting to my dreams because I was close to graduating and had a job offer waiting for me post graduation. I tried for a long time to make it work in hopes that we would just go back to how we once were because I didn’t throw my success in his face nor asked him to keep up, I was never unloyal and he was essentially my world I loved him so much he was so passionate and intelligent and had goals and he was everything and he just fell off . We both knew it was coming to an end and then he proposed to me and I said yes hoping it would fix everything but essentially things got worse and he tried to be more controlling and I felt like I was never going to move forward . At this point it’s been almost two years since we broke up and we got into contact again and we’re seeing where this goes and if we should get back together . During this time I did date but was unsatisfied because I missed him and aside from his bad qualities he developed I never questioned his love for me or how much he cared for me and he expressed it often to make sure I knew . But now here we are and I would love to try again he is different in many instances but still shows me affection the same way and in my heart and soul I would love to replicate it but I feel like I am just unable to like my mind won’t let even thought my heart would like to give it a try and for real but how can we do that if I’m at this blockage like I don’t know how to love or be affectionate. sometimes it’s just too much and I don’t want him touching me or kissing me because it feels forced. And I’m not ready but I can spend time with him all day just hanging out going to dinner for walks to the beach I love his presence. I just don’t know what to do

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    Kalin Izsak

    November 12, 2015 at 11:27 pm

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months. I was his grad escort, that’s how we met. We started dating and everything was great except my friends did not like him. They made me feel bad if I choose him over them which to be honest I did a lot of. Over the summer I was seeing him a lot more then my friends. Just before our six months I called it off. He was very controlling and over protecting in the ways he would make delete and block and Guy friends that would talk to me and would not give me and trust. I was leaving to Tronto in a following days so I wanted to talk to him before I went. I thought about it lots and I knew I needed him in my life. Now last week I went out and was pretty drunk. He called me at the party and asked what I was doing. I said I wAs hanging out with josh( the boy I used to see for a year) and rich ( a boy who always flirted with me) my ex started getting so upset that finally I just said I’m done with you. The day after that I went to go pick up my stuff from his house it felt so good to see him and i could barley leave the house. Last night he called me and said he loves me so much and that im the only girl for him. I kept trying to convince myself he was wrong but today I can’t stop crying and thinking about him I miss him and love him so much. I need him in my life and maybe my decision was to rash please what should I do??

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    Kalin Izsak

    November 12, 2015 at 11:26 pm

    My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months. I was his grad escort, that’s how we met. We started dating and everything was great except my friends did not like him. They made me feel bad if I choose him over them which to be honest I did a lot of. Over the summer I was seeing him a lot more then my friends. Just before our six months I called it off. He was very controlling and over protecting in the ways he would make delete and block and Guy friends that would talk to me and would not give me and trust. I was leaving to Tronto in a following days so I wanted to talk to him before I went. I thought about it lots and I knew I needed him in my life. Now last week I went out and was pretty drunk. He called me at the party and asked what I was doing. I said I wAs hanging out with josh( the boy I used to see for a year) and rich ( a boy who always flirted with me) my ex started getting so upset that finally I just said I’m done with you. The day after that I went to go pick up my stuff from his house it felt so good to see him and i could barley leave the house. Last night he called me and said he loves me so much and that im the only girl for him. I kept trying to convince myself he was wrong but today I can’t stop crying and thinking about him I miss him and love him so much. I need him in my life and maybe my decision was to rash please what should I do?

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    Kait

    November 7, 2015 at 12:00 am

    Hi Chris, I know you get thousands of messages like this, but I really need some advice. I think I’ve completely blown my chances of ever getting my ex back, even if I do follow your guides/advice. Basically we’ve been on and off for over a year now and we argue a lot, he never apologises after arguments and will just ignore me for the rest of the day or even for a day+ where as I’ll apologise most of the time regardless and I hate being ignored, especially by him, and then when he does speak to me he just acts normal again or sometimes he’ll say things like ‘going to be a normal gf or still an angry troll’ I admit when we argue at times I can say some really horrible and unforgivable things, but so has he. He’s said many times over the past months that he doesn’t love me and hasnt wanted to be with me for months now. It’s mostly him who breaks up with me, I’ve only ever broken up with him I’ve but I didn’t mean it. He’s also said that he’s only taken me back because I made him or wouldn’t leave him alone. Now last week we had a huge fight on Sunday and things got so bad and again he said were over and that he doesn’t love me anymore and that once I leave his house I won’t be setting foot in there ever again. Things got broken and he got angry and pushed me but I replaced the broken things and got them sent to his house. He text me after the break up saying he got the items but he can’t accept them knowing how he feels about us and that he sees no future for us and doesn’t see us ever working. I tried to do no contact but failed on day 3 πŸ™ and text him back saying ‘Hey, I was just thinking about the first time we went to the cinema together to see Jurassic World, it was so good. I am glad we did that.’ But because he didn’t reply I turned into a text gnat and then said ‘could we talk please? I don’t like how things were left.’ He replied ‘I enjoyed the good times we had too but things arent the same and we argue too much, please send me your address so i can return the items as it doesnt feel right’ I responded ‘I don’t want to lose you, so will you please work with me to make our relationship work again, I know I don’t deserve it but I care for you deeply and I love you..I want you to keep the them, I’m sorry.’ And again he didn’t respond so I text him again saying ‘Please just talk with me, even if you hate me, please hear me out.’ He responded saying ‘it’s over I sorry, there’s nothing else I can say’ I continued to keep begging him to take me back and him not replying and when he I asked him if he loved me he said no sorry and he also said he won’t be contacting me anymore and i really dont want to upset you more and talking is doing that, you are more than welcome to let me send the items back, other than that good bye. I continued to bombard him with messages and calls, he replied no my minds made up..I continued to message and call him the next day too but no reply. It’s not been almost 3 days I haven’t heard from him and I’m absolutely terrified of losing him. I didn’t text him today so this is the first day I haven’t contacted him for..I want to try the no contact but I always end up caving in. Do you think the Nc rule will get him to speak to me or even give us a chance of ever getting back together? Please help.

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    Jrod

    October 4, 2015 at 4:43 am

    My ex and I broke up 10
    Months ago. We lived together for 8 years and have two children ages 9 and 4. We broke up because I cheated on her. She moved into her own place with the girls when we broke up. I have tried to talk to her about trying to work things out but she says she doesn’t want to do so. She says that’s she’s still angry and hurt. That she needs time to heal. The crazy thing is that we spend a lot of time together as a family. We go out every weekend and have even done vacations together. We speak almost everyday either by phone call or text. We have gone out to lunch and dinner just the two of us. But when I bring up the subject she doesn’t want to discuss it. One time she walked away and I noticed she was crying. I love her very and my daughters very much. Don’t know what to do. Do I give her more time? Do I just give up and focus just on my daughters? When I don’t contact her she ends up contacting me. She has even cooked for me and I spend a lot of time at her place. What should I do? Is there any hope? Does she still love me?

    1. Avatar

      Elene

      November 9, 2015 at 9:02 pm

      You cheated on her, and that caused a lot of pain in her. It’s going to take a lot of time for her to heal. I say give her more time, maybe 1 to 3 years, or even more depending on the person. During this time, you have to prove to her that you can be trusted. So you do whatever effort it takes to earn back her trust if you really love her.

    2. Avatar

      fycv

      October 21, 2015 at 8:24 am

      I can tell you she still loves you. why? because Im a woman too. she may be a bit of confused right now. she’s contacting you every now and then because she had learned how to live with you for that past 8 years. Is this really the first that it had happened? if so, I can guarantee you that her decision was something of rooted from the past, she may had been hurt by an ex lover before you, parent issues, traumas. she was hurt before then you did this act, it brought up past hurts. and if you did this more than once to her, dude, wake up, stop messing with her emotions. cheating isn’t a mistake. it was a choice. now what I can say that you both do is to spend time alone, away from each other. do some soul searching. it may be hard. set a deadline for you both. if the other one isn’t still yet ready for talk, then adjust. you guys were together for a very long time now, I’m sure you both really know each other well. do what you think you must. I hope I helped you somehow. πŸ™‚

  16. Avatar

    Leah

    September 23, 2015 at 2:09 am

    My ex boyfriend and I broke up a little over 2 weeks ago and I have been absolutely devastated the entire time we’ve been apart. Granted, this was my first real relationship, i’m still in high school (18 – senior) and he is out of school (20). I always thought that the age difference was going to be an issue since we first started dating but he always said no.

    We fought all the time because we both have trust issues for whatever reason and he was very jealous as am I, but we always new that breaking up was way to extreme. I feel as if I am being too emotional about my problem here because I know its not the end of the world, but the biggest issue I’m having is that he never explained to me why we he wanted to end it, besides him saying we don’t communicate.. but I ALWAYS tried to get him to talk about the problems but he is super super stubborn.

    Because he was my first real boyfriend, I feel like that is really why I am having such a hard time with all of this. I know that I am super young but there has always been something about him that has told me there is something worth holding on too, ever since I first saw him. I guess I’m just stuck as to what to do. I really do want to get back together with him, i’m just worried that he really doesn’t miss me or care that i’m missing him so much.. even though I haven’t talked to him since we broke up because he is refusing to talk to me.

    Any advice as to what I should do?

  17. Avatar

    Chantal

    September 22, 2015 at 1:45 am

    My Ex and I just got back together for like less than two months now (we’d been together for 2 years in the past, like 10 years ago). We decided to be together again because of one reason, it’s so hard to start from the basics again. If we find another partners we just have to start from scratch again while if we get back then we just have to adjust a little (I guess?) but the past 3-4 days we had cold approaches already. I mean, yes he is busy with work that involved travelling a lot from here to there. I understand that stuff, and I also have my business that needs great attention right now but I’m still open to chat with him because I missed him. But last Thursday, he arrived home very late (which is normal), I was waiting for his text & reply. He told me they had a party (just a send off party for a business partner). I replied to him and asked some ques like how was your day and stuffs. But he just replied like once and twice, I waited & eventually fell asleep of waiting. I was hurt. the next day I told him if it’s too hard to even say his goodnights to me. Or just had the mind to think that I was waiting for his reply. He told me he replied but something’s wrong w/ his signal. I did understand that part. A day had passed that I did not contact him. He told me that night, why didn’t I text him the whole day. I told him, I was upset. “Can’t u just make the initiative to text me first than just waiting for my message the whole time?”. Avoiding argument he didn’t answer. Since he was too busy with work, he can’t seemed to find my worth or our relationship’s worth. I asked if he’s still happy with our relationship. He asked why am I asking such questions. He told me that he explained to me everything regarding his job’s nature already. And he ended the night with, “let’s talk tomorrow. I am not in my right presence of mind to talk about it right now. My friend just died and still in the state of shock”. WTH!!! I wanted to breakdown last night, that again.. he avoided argument. Reconsidering he’s right, I wasn’t in the right timing to tell him my frustrations but can he just not avoid an argument all the time. I understand he just got back from a long trip yesterday and I pushed my sentiments to him but WTH I am about to explode with frustrations that both of us can’t even talk properly already because of his work! Can someone enlighten me to what’s the proper thing to do with this situation? I am deeply hurt. Was our reason the core point that we have this situation or what?. But if u would ask me, I do love him. But I can’t seem to see that he’s doing his part on our relationship. Or am I just asking for too much? and BTW we broke up long time ago because of lack of communication and that’s why I want us to be more open now but he’s too occupied with his work. I feel like I have to push myself just to fit in between his schedules. Thanks.

  18. Avatar

    Morgan

    September 9, 2015 at 12:11 am

    Hi so I was dating this guy for 2 months and I really really liked him. However, I broke up with him after a few small fights. Looking back the fights we had were unreasonable and stupid. For example he had this friend I didn’t like and I felt that he was acting more and more like this friend. After I ended things, he was heart broken and so was I. We both struggled to move on and live our lives. After about a month, he texted me saying that he missed me so much and he wanted to take things slower and hopefully eventually get back together. Thinking that I was ready for a relationship, I agreed and we talked a couple of times. Then i relized that I still needed time to get over him. Making another stupid irrational mistake, I told him I thought is was best if we both moved on. It has been 3 months now since he have broken up and I finally think that I’m ready to be in a relationship with my ex. I love him so much. I tried to move on with other guys but nothing is like the relationship I had with my ex. He tried to move on too but even the girl he “likes” tells me that she thinks that he’s using her to get over me. I finally realized that I was so rude and obnoxious to him and i miss him every second of everyday. Do you guys think it would be logical to reach out to him and let him know what I’m feeling?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 2, 2015 at 5:08 pm

      I wouldn’t…

      Not that way. You can let him know how your are feeling down the road but you really have to move him up the value chain for that.

  19. Avatar

    Sherrie

    August 11, 2015 at 4:26 pm

    Hi my ex and I have been apart for a little over a month. He wold get a quick temper all the time and think I was cheating on him or thinking I may do something to hurt him. Eventually he said we should break up but we didn’t. We started couples counseling and I saw changes in him but it just became too much so I ended it. I contacted him two days later to tell him I love him and I didn’t want the break-up to be forever just for a period of time. He responded and said he loved me too but would appreciate no contact. I contacted him again and asked him to just let me know if he ends up going to the hospital because he has a heart condition. He again stated no contact so we could move on. I was hurt because I only wanted him to take some time to get himself together. I waited for him to call or text but realized he must have meant what he said. A couple of weeks later I went on a date. About a week after that I had sex with someone and it’s really bad because although my ex and I had been intimate we decided to be celibate. After that I cut off all communication with any guy who was interested in me. My ex says he forgives me but I lied the first two times he told me which further exacerbated his trust issues. He still wants us to be together but I don’t want to rush and just jump back into things because I think we will ruin it.

    1. Avatar

      Nikki

      August 21, 2015 at 12:14 am

      Sherrie.. You really need to take the time to go sew your wild oats. The lies have gone way too far. There is no way he would genuinely trust you unless he was a fool. Your just not ready. Good luck to you.

  20. Avatar

    Alicia

    July 12, 2015 at 2:28 pm

    Hi, my ex and I just broke up within 2 weeks for many many chance he gave me… he was too cautious… about what am I gonna do to time… we have been dating for 3 years… he claimed that I nag,scold and also blame and even worse lie….a when I 1st know her , it was in the college then it was a fantasy…. 1st sight of love… then I messed things up very badly… he gave me unconditional love for 3 whole years…. and then when we got back that time … he proposed to me…with a ring…ask me marry him…i of course said yes…now ….he has tumor…extremely lost in trust on me…he said all we been through was a lie… i really really really love him…so I ask for a 5m talk face to face…wants him to tell me he hates me to my face…then he considered…ask me to give 1 month…asked said I will never learn …i really need some advice. ..

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