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406 thoughts on “Legitimate Reasons You Should Get Back Together With Your Ex Boyfriend”

  1. Avatar

    Kait

    November 7, 2015 at 12:00 am

    Hi Chris, I know you get thousands of messages like this, but I really need some advice. I think I’ve completely blown my chances of ever getting my ex back, even if I do follow your guides/advice. Basically we’ve been on and off for over a year now and we argue a lot, he never apologises after arguments and will just ignore me for the rest of the day or even for a day+ where as I’ll apologise most of the time regardless and I hate being ignored, especially by him, and then when he does speak to me he just acts normal again or sometimes he’ll say things like ‘going to be a normal gf or still an angry troll’ I admit when we argue at times I can say some really horrible and unforgivable things, but so has he. He’s said many times over the past months that he doesn’t love me and hasnt wanted to be with me for months now. It’s mostly him who breaks up with me, I’ve only ever broken up with him I’ve but I didn’t mean it. He’s also said that he’s only taken me back because I made him or wouldn’t leave him alone. Now last week we had a huge fight on Sunday and things got so bad and again he said were over and that he doesn’t love me anymore and that once I leave his house I won’t be setting foot in there ever again. Things got broken and he got angry and pushed me but I replaced the broken things and got them sent to his house. He text me after the break up saying he got the items but he can’t accept them knowing how he feels about us and that he sees no future for us and doesn’t see us ever working. I tried to do no contact but failed on day 3 🙁 and text him back saying ‘Hey, I was just thinking about the first time we went to the cinema together to see Jurassic World, it was so good. I am glad we did that.’ But because he didn’t reply I turned into a text gnat and then said ‘could we talk please? I don’t like how things were left.’ He replied ‘I enjoyed the good times we had too but things arent the same and we argue too much, please send me your address so i can return the items as it doesnt feel right’ I responded ‘I don’t want to lose you, so will you please work with me to make our relationship work again, I know I don’t deserve it but I care for you deeply and I love you..I want you to keep the them, I’m sorry.’ And again he didn’t respond so I text him again saying ‘Please just talk with me, even if you hate me, please hear me out.’ He responded saying ‘it’s over I sorry, there’s nothing else I can say’ I continued to keep begging him to take me back and him not replying and when he I asked him if he loved me he said no sorry and he also said he won’t be contacting me anymore and i really dont want to upset you more and talking is doing that, you are more than welcome to let me send the items back, other than that good bye. I continued to bombard him with messages and calls, he replied no my minds made up..I continued to message and call him the next day too but no reply. It’s not been almost 3 days I haven’t heard from him and I’m absolutely terrified of losing him. I didn’t text him today so this is the first day I haven’t contacted him for..I want to try the no contact but I always end up caving in. Do you think the Nc rule will get him to speak to me or even give us a chance of ever getting back together? Please help.

  2. Avatar

    Jrod

    October 4, 2015 at 4:43 am

    My ex and I broke up 10
    Months ago. We lived together for 8 years and have two children ages 9 and 4. We broke up because I cheated on her. She moved into her own place with the girls when we broke up. I have tried to talk to her about trying to work things out but she says she doesn’t want to do so. She says that’s she’s still angry and hurt. That she needs time to heal. The crazy thing is that we spend a lot of time together as a family. We go out every weekend and have even done vacations together. We speak almost everyday either by phone call or text. We have gone out to lunch and dinner just the two of us. But when I bring up the subject she doesn’t want to discuss it. One time she walked away and I noticed she was crying. I love her very and my daughters very much. Don’t know what to do. Do I give her more time? Do I just give up and focus just on my daughters? When I don’t contact her she ends up contacting me. She has even cooked for me and I spend a lot of time at her place. What should I do? Is there any hope? Does she still love me?

    1. Avatar

      Elene

      November 9, 2015 at 9:02 pm

      You cheated on her, and that caused a lot of pain in her. It’s going to take a lot of time for her to heal. I say give her more time, maybe 1 to 3 years, or even more depending on the person. During this time, you have to prove to her that you can be trusted. So you do whatever effort it takes to earn back her trust if you really love her.

    2. Avatar

      fycv

      October 21, 2015 at 8:24 am

      I can tell you she still loves you. why? because Im a woman too. she may be a bit of confused right now. she’s contacting you every now and then because she had learned how to live with you for that past 8 years. Is this really the first that it had happened? if so, I can guarantee you that her decision was something of rooted from the past, she may had been hurt by an ex lover before you, parent issues, traumas. she was hurt before then you did this act, it brought up past hurts. and if you did this more than once to her, dude, wake up, stop messing with her emotions. cheating isn’t a mistake. it was a choice. now what I can say that you both do is to spend time alone, away from each other. do some soul searching. it may be hard. set a deadline for you both. if the other one isn’t still yet ready for talk, then adjust. you guys were together for a very long time now, I’m sure you both really know each other well. do what you think you must. I hope I helped you somehow. 🙂

  3. Avatar

    Leah

    September 23, 2015 at 2:09 am

    My ex boyfriend and I broke up a little over 2 weeks ago and I have been absolutely devastated the entire time we’ve been apart. Granted, this was my first real relationship, i’m still in high school (18 – senior) and he is out of school (20). I always thought that the age difference was going to be an issue since we first started dating but he always said no.

    We fought all the time because we both have trust issues for whatever reason and he was very jealous as am I, but we always new that breaking up was way to extreme. I feel as if I am being too emotional about my problem here because I know its not the end of the world, but the biggest issue I’m having is that he never explained to me why we he wanted to end it, besides him saying we don’t communicate.. but I ALWAYS tried to get him to talk about the problems but he is super super stubborn.

    Because he was my first real boyfriend, I feel like that is really why I am having such a hard time with all of this. I know that I am super young but there has always been something about him that has told me there is something worth holding on too, ever since I first saw him. I guess I’m just stuck as to what to do. I really do want to get back together with him, i’m just worried that he really doesn’t miss me or care that i’m missing him so much.. even though I haven’t talked to him since we broke up because he is refusing to talk to me.

    Any advice as to what I should do?

  4. Avatar

    Chantal

    September 22, 2015 at 1:45 am

    My Ex and I just got back together for like less than two months now (we’d been together for 2 years in the past, like 10 years ago). We decided to be together again because of one reason, it’s so hard to start from the basics again. If we find another partners we just have to start from scratch again while if we get back then we just have to adjust a little (I guess?) but the past 3-4 days we had cold approaches already. I mean, yes he is busy with work that involved travelling a lot from here to there. I understand that stuff, and I also have my business that needs great attention right now but I’m still open to chat with him because I missed him. But last Thursday, he arrived home very late (which is normal), I was waiting for his text & reply. He told me they had a party (just a send off party for a business partner). I replied to him and asked some ques like how was your day and stuffs. But he just replied like once and twice, I waited & eventually fell asleep of waiting. I was hurt. the next day I told him if it’s too hard to even say his goodnights to me. Or just had the mind to think that I was waiting for his reply. He told me he replied but something’s wrong w/ his signal. I did understand that part. A day had passed that I did not contact him. He told me that night, why didn’t I text him the whole day. I told him, I was upset. “Can’t u just make the initiative to text me first than just waiting for my message the whole time?”. Avoiding argument he didn’t answer. Since he was too busy with work, he can’t seemed to find my worth or our relationship’s worth. I asked if he’s still happy with our relationship. He asked why am I asking such questions. He told me that he explained to me everything regarding his job’s nature already. And he ended the night with, “let’s talk tomorrow. I am not in my right presence of mind to talk about it right now. My friend just died and still in the state of shock”. WTH!!! I wanted to breakdown last night, that again.. he avoided argument. Reconsidering he’s right, I wasn’t in the right timing to tell him my frustrations but can he just not avoid an argument all the time. I understand he just got back from a long trip yesterday and I pushed my sentiments to him but WTH I am about to explode with frustrations that both of us can’t even talk properly already because of his work! Can someone enlighten me to what’s the proper thing to do with this situation? I am deeply hurt. Was our reason the core point that we have this situation or what?. But if u would ask me, I do love him. But I can’t seem to see that he’s doing his part on our relationship. Or am I just asking for too much? and BTW we broke up long time ago because of lack of communication and that’s why I want us to be more open now but he’s too occupied with his work. I feel like I have to push myself just to fit in between his schedules. Thanks.

  5. Avatar

    Morgan

    September 9, 2015 at 12:11 am

    Hi so I was dating this guy for 2 months and I really really liked him. However, I broke up with him after a few small fights. Looking back the fights we had were unreasonable and stupid. For example he had this friend I didn’t like and I felt that he was acting more and more like this friend. After I ended things, he was heart broken and so was I. We both struggled to move on and live our lives. After about a month, he texted me saying that he missed me so much and he wanted to take things slower and hopefully eventually get back together. Thinking that I was ready for a relationship, I agreed and we talked a couple of times. Then i relized that I still needed time to get over him. Making another stupid irrational mistake, I told him I thought is was best if we both moved on. It has been 3 months now since he have broken up and I finally think that I’m ready to be in a relationship with my ex. I love him so much. I tried to move on with other guys but nothing is like the relationship I had with my ex. He tried to move on too but even the girl he “likes” tells me that she thinks that he’s using her to get over me. I finally realized that I was so rude and obnoxious to him and i miss him every second of everyday. Do you guys think it would be logical to reach out to him and let him know what I’m feeling?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 2, 2015 at 5:08 pm

      I wouldn’t…

      Not that way. You can let him know how your are feeling down the road but you really have to move him up the value chain for that.

  6. Avatar

    Sherrie

    August 11, 2015 at 4:26 pm

    Hi my ex and I have been apart for a little over a month. He wold get a quick temper all the time and think I was cheating on him or thinking I may do something to hurt him. Eventually he said we should break up but we didn’t. We started couples counseling and I saw changes in him but it just became too much so I ended it. I contacted him two days later to tell him I love him and I didn’t want the break-up to be forever just for a period of time. He responded and said he loved me too but would appreciate no contact. I contacted him again and asked him to just let me know if he ends up going to the hospital because he has a heart condition. He again stated no contact so we could move on. I was hurt because I only wanted him to take some time to get himself together. I waited for him to call or text but realized he must have meant what he said. A couple of weeks later I went on a date. About a week after that I had sex with someone and it’s really bad because although my ex and I had been intimate we decided to be celibate. After that I cut off all communication with any guy who was interested in me. My ex says he forgives me but I lied the first two times he told me which further exacerbated his trust issues. He still wants us to be together but I don’t want to rush and just jump back into things because I think we will ruin it.

    1. Avatar

      Nikki

      August 21, 2015 at 12:14 am

      Sherrie.. You really need to take the time to go sew your wild oats. The lies have gone way too far. There is no way he would genuinely trust you unless he was a fool. Your just not ready. Good luck to you.

  7. Avatar

    Alicia

    July 12, 2015 at 2:28 pm

    Hi, my ex and I just broke up within 2 weeks for many many chance he gave me… he was too cautious… about what am I gonna do to time… we have been dating for 3 years… he claimed that I nag,scold and also blame and even worse lie….a when I 1st know her , it was in the college then it was a fantasy…. 1st sight of love… then I messed things up very badly… he gave me unconditional love for 3 whole years…. and then when we got back that time … he proposed to me…with a ring…ask me marry him…i of course said yes…now ….he has tumor…extremely lost in trust on me…he said all we been through was a lie… i really really really love him…so I ask for a 5m talk face to face…wants him to tell me he hates me to my face…then he considered…ask me to give 1 month…asked said I will never learn …i really need some advice. ..

  8. Avatar

    Lisa

    June 8, 2015 at 12:01 am

    My partner and I were together for 11 turbulent years, producing two kids, and on my part at one point a nervous breakdown. I spent a lot of time feeling unhappy with how our relationship was going, his lack of involvement with the kids, his focus on the business and not us as a family, we argued and the arguments got more and more frequent. I felt so unhappy with him and he with me. 11 long years, a lot of it not good, not a great deal of positive memories, we split for six months, all my family and some of my friends were glad of this, that I was well rid of him, that he’s not good for me, brings me down etc. A lot of this was true. There is a large age gap between us and at times he becomes quite overbearing and there were a hell of a lot of problems with communication and bad patterns and essentially we got to the point where we just did nothing with our lives. i was sick of this. we ended it, i moved into my own house with the kids, he stayed at his old flat. Obviously, we have had a lot of contact with each other because we have kids and he has made no secret of his desire to reconcile, but I was sure that this was finally it, I was going to move on. And I did. I started dating, he quickly realised this despite efforts to conceal it and became beside himself with the realisation that finally it was over. He sunk to depths of self examination and came out the other end saying he realised how much he has taken me for granted, not cherished me etc and we have rekindled our relationship A month later so far so good, we’ve been having good times as a family and everything is working out nicely. He asked me to marry him again, and I said yes, and perhaps in a hurry because he wanted to marry before his birthday, we have set a date in a month. So we will have been reconciled just two months. My friend is saying this is going too quick, how do I know things will be different, and it really is a fear of mine. We’ve set a date now, booked the church, bought the dress, everything has moved very quickly, and doubts are starting to set in. Not because of anything he has done, but because things went wrong so often in the past. What if he gets complacent when were married? Reverts back to old habits? I haven’t even told my family yet we are back together. I feel in a bit of confusion, what should I do?

    1. Avatar

      Nikki

      August 21, 2015 at 12:24 am

      Lisa… DO NOT RUSH into this. Live together for at least 6 months before you jump into such a big commitment again. Why feel the need to marry again anyway? Read what you wrote and relive those times and remember the heartbreak it caused. Take your time. If he really loves you and is understanding then he will have no problem with waiting for however long it takes. Good luck

  9. Avatar

    akriti sinha

    May 8, 2015 at 10:57 am

    i was in a relationship with my ex boy friend from the last two months..in starting everything was going on very well.he always make me feel gud and always wants me to be smiling and happy.but as our one moths gets over he started changing he said i am not giving u 100% and u wont be happy with me. and its better to be alone if am not caring you. nut me says that he still love me and dont want that if in future we broke up so i will hurt more. and we had so many times breakup and he says always u say sorry even if there is my mistake but i dont want you to bear everything..and recently we had an argued and i decided not to contact him ever…now dont know what should i do..either i should not talk to him a month or i should wait for his message…?

  10. Avatar

    Dana

    May 2, 2015 at 10:03 pm

    I’m really confused and cannot think anything else. He broke up with me 4 months ago. And texted me in this 4 months at least 2 or 3 times that he misses me, he was happy with me and we really must think again and when we are ready, we may make a fresh start. Since I was upset with his not-so-reasonable break up(I am really not sure what the real reason is, bu he said he thinks we don’t want same things out of a life and somethings about me being selfish sometimes) , since I was upset I was neutral, but approved that we miss each other and love each other still in these conversations. But after just a couple of days when I texted him back, he was so cold and I feel panicked. I said I wanted to take a decision now, because I was tired of these unstabilities(It was a wrong behaviour I know). When I drive the conversation in such direction, he said we should move on for now, or at least we should think and live as we are not going to come back together and move on. This was the same guy that said “Sometimes I think why we are apart when we love each other” just a couple of days ago. I really don’t know how should a handle such post-breakup situation. Do you have any comments on the male side please?

  11. Avatar

    Anna

    May 2, 2015 at 2:47 pm

    If anyone has any advice for me…

    This Tuesday gone, the (34 year old) guy I was dating for 8 weeks just broke it off, via text, the day after I asked where we stood in terms of defining a ‘relationship’. This conversation came up because I’d just started a new job, and the girl I was working with asked if I had a boyfriend. I paused – then said yes – it’s really the only terminology I was aware of for what this guy and I had.
    My question to him was more about the terminology of the whole dating scene, as I have no idea about any of that stuff (My last ‘partner’ was a 6-year relationship where we just used the catch-all ‘partner’). I was genuinely just asking how I can refer to him. This, apparently, freaked him the eff out and he dumped me for it.
    While at first he didn’t want to talk about it at all (part of the text read ‘It’s best if we don’t talk, as it’s not pleasant for anybody’ – how convenient for you, sir!), he finally called me back and we agreed to meet in a couple of weeks to ‘hang out as friends’.
    His main reasons were:
    – he assumed that my level of affection for him was ‘at least 10 points higher’ than his on a scale of 1-100, and he predicted the ‘upward trajectory’ of my feelings as being more intense/accelerated than his (yes, he basically quantified our emotions and explained them as lines on a graph… he’s a HR manager who loves statistics) (also, ARROGANCE MUCH? ‘you obvs like me way more than I like you… even tho I’ve been the most clingy/affectionate dude you’ve ever met…’)… I can actually imagine him with a whiteboard and coloured markers, drawing it up with a ruler, with headings and a legend.
    – he thinks I may want kids in the future and he doesn’t think he wants more (he has a daughter) – we haven’t actually discussed this in any kind of detail other than some vague comments from both of us
    – we’re not on the same page sometimes when he has to explain an obscure joke or comment (a ‘pet peeve’ apparently).

    For 7 of the 8 weeks that we’ve been dating, it’s been absolutely lovely. He’s repeatedly told me (both drunk AND sober) how ‘enamoured’ he is/was with me; he introduced me to 2 of his closest friends on separate occasions; he INTRODUCED HIMSELF TO MY PARENTS (without being invited over) after 2 weeks of us seeing each other. He’s bought me several small but meaningful gifts, we’ve played some epic video games together, and basically been in an intensely cool ‘non-relationship’ (apparently) for the last two months. We have similar educational backgrounds, similar goals, and a lot of shared interests. We’re compatible in so many ways, and it was going so smoothly.

    Why, then, when I say ‘so, can I call you my bf if anyone asks?’ does he then promptly end it via text in his lunch break at work, as if he were writing a cold but cordial email to an employee who’s about to be fired? I’m guessing he got freaked out at his OWN feelings, and knee-jerked the breakup.

    The truth is, I like the guy a lot. We get along REALLY well, and while I’m far from being head over heels with him just yet, I can see it going places, in the middle-distant future. Even if we don’t work romantically, he’s still an awesome guy, and I’d like to continue hanging out & sharing some nerdy nights in with him and a few beers.

    When we do finally meet up (I might delay it for another week after the fortnight… just to spite the coward), should I suggest we ‘start again’, but at a much slower pace? Should I try to explain, or just let him set the tone? I’m afraid that if I just keep quiet, he’ll assume (arrogant so and so that he is) that he’s right about all his previous reasons; but if I go on a monologue about why we shouldn’t break up, it’ll come across as desperate and as an attempt to ‘convince’ him to take me back.

    Help!

    ps… forgive me if this is a bit bitter. I’ve passed the ‘mourning’ stage and am now just incredibly pissed off at a person I didn’t imagine being such a scaredy-cat. Any advice/comments appreciated.

  12. Avatar

    Julie

    April 23, 2015 at 2:08 am

    My boyfriend, well ex- boyfriend, and I have been together for the past five years. The first three were as close to perfect as you can get. We took things very slow and we were each others first for everything. In the past two years we have had two huge break-ups and some minor break-ups that were quickly resolved. As of right now we have been broken up for about three months. We still talk everyday, and we talk about eventually getting back together. We have both tried to be in other relationships but we cant seem to stop thinking about one another, yet when we are together we just get mad at each other (moreso me getting mad at him). It is just things are very simple and familiar with him. I love being around him, even though his memory sucks and I want to slap him on the head a couple of times. I guess what I am trying to ask is if people experience this feeling more than once with different people. You know, the love of your life feeling. Not wanting to wake up to anyone else beside you in bed than him. I know I love him, with everything I have. Will I ever be able to feel this way about another guy, or is this the man I need to marry?
    -J

    1. Avatar

      Julie

      April 24, 2015 at 1:51 pm

      We have been talking for about the past month a lot. We have went out to eat a couple of times together. We are taking steps to try and be together. But we do have a lot of problems that we have to resolve before we can get back together. Like last night I spliied all to him. About how I felt, about what I wanted in life, and where I wanted me and him to stand. Unfortunatly he had fallen asleep considering it was 2 AM. When I checked my phone this morning he had read the meassage at 6:30, but there was no response. I was assuming he was busy so it did not really bother me until I saw where he commented on one of his family members post not even 10 minutes before I checked. This is why we can not get over our problems. It is stupid stunts like ignoring me that just does not seem fair. I know later he will give me an excuse as to why he ‘could not’ respond. Is this something that I am taking too far, is it even a big deal? Or is this really low of a guy to purposely ignore me?

    2. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 23, 2015 at 1:00 pm

      First off, he is not the only guy in the world you can fall for I am sure of that.

      Secondly, have you taken any steps to get him back yet?

  13. Avatar

    Sarah

    April 12, 2015 at 10:04 pm

    My boyfriend and I have been together almost two years and have been living together 9 months. After our honeymoon phase of moving-in together things started to get a little rocky with the division of household chores and taking time to spend with one another that wasn’t sitting on the couch. My boyfriend started acting distant around me and stopped wanting to have sex. One night after an argument about how bad things were in the relationship, he decided to pack up and leave. He came back the next day and said I he was sorry and would try to make things work. For the most part he was positive around the apartment but still didn’t want to spend a lot of his spare time with me. Last week I came back from hanging out with my girlfriends and decided to ask him how he thought things were progressing in the relationship and he said, “Not great, I just don’t feel the same way I used to. We should break up.” He left that night and stayed away for a few days. We had to meet to work out some things with the apartment and I told him, “After a certain period in a relationship, you have to work to keep the flame alive. It’s normal if you aren’t as attracted to me as you once were, it’s just something we need to work at.” He said he’d think about it, then came back a few hours later apologizing, saying I was the one he loved and that he wanted to be with me. What I’d love is for some kind of sign that he will not get grumpy and decide to leave again but I’m not sure how to bring up the conversation without it sounding like an ultimatum.

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    Celine

    April 4, 2015 at 9:52 pm

    Hi there.. Me and my boyfriend, well ex boyfriend were together for 2years but in the last year we have been fighting a lot over stupid little things and big things. We were basically growing apart because of circumstances and we can’t take the relationship to the next step like moving in or getting engaged because I’m in my second last year of school and he’s 3years older. We don’t do stuff together like we did when he was with me in school and we don’t communicate anymore..We really loved each other and we were an epic couple but we offically broke up last night because of all the fights and disagreements… Please help I already miss him so much, everything reminds me of him and I reeeeaaally want it to work but I don’t know how anymore..

    1. Avatar

      Hayilie

      April 16, 2015 at 3:49 pm

      I totally understand how you feel about the situation. I was in the similar situation, and boy! It was mentally exhausting. Years of being in a relationship is no joke, it takes effort and lots of love. However, if things aren’t working so great and you guys are fighting over things and not getting a solution and ended breaking up, here’s my advice to you: First, have pride and self respect. You’re a woman with dignity, dont go chasing after boya, let them come to you. Second, FIND YOURSELF! What do you really want to do? PRIORITIZE YOURSELF! Love and value yourself, don’t let a guy define you. Third, HAVE FAITH. This is very important, now youre saying you really love this guy, are you willing to get married with him? To be forever comitted with him, and build a family with him? If yes, do you think you are ready to be a wife, a mother? If not, then focus on bettering yourself, enhance your spiritual, emotional, and mental health. Last, PATIENCE! Ive been living on the saying: What is meant for you will never miss you even if it buried under the mountains, and what missed you was never meant for you even if they were in between your lips”. You need to trust God. You need gotta be patient. If he is meant for you and he realizes that he really love you, then he will find a way to get back to you. If he doesnt get back to you, then it is better that you guys ended your relationship early. STAY STRONG! Distract yourself from thinking about him. Think about yourself. Think about God!

      Love and Peace,
      Hayilie

  15. Avatar

    Aquarians girl

    March 14, 2015 at 5:26 pm

    Hi, my boyfriend of 10 months broke up with me. We were having trouble becoz he started a new post grad course 2 months ago. We met once in this time, and he’d almost be silent on most days and rarely text (we used to text each other a lot). What confuses me is that just 3 months ago he looked into my eyes and said he loves me and wanted me in his life. What could have changed so drastically! I am slightly bitter about it though I didn’t say anything when he said we must take a break from the relationship (that too over text). What’s going on in his head? He texted me the day after, and I dint respond until 4 days later when I told him I was sorting my issues. He has not gotten in touch since. Pls advice

    1. admin

      admin

      March 15, 2015 at 4:55 pm

      Check out my latest article.

      I think it may have some answers for you,

      http://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/what-your-ex-boyfriend-says-vs-what-he-really-means/

  16. Avatar

    Mara

    March 6, 2015 at 7:45 am

    My ex and I broke up almost 2 years ago after a 2 years relationship cause of long distance and Also because of me. I know I hurt him so bad! We stop talking for a couple of months after the break up and then we contacted each other again. I was dating someone else he was as well. Then he got into a relationship but we never stopped talking. After 6 or 8 months I realized I was still in love with him but I thought he moved on. Before we started dating we were best friends and so we tried to save our friendship. So we were talking every single day that we weren’t together even tho he was with this girl. Couple months after I realized I was still in love I told him and as I was expecting he said he was waiting for me to say it for so long but I didn’t so he started dating this girl.. And now he couldn’t just say hey goodbye cause it was unfair. We kept talking he got confused we even treated each other as if we were together. He is the best guy I’ve ever met. So respectful. He’s really good but I understood I hurt him he couldn’t just leave her cause nothing guaranteed that I wasn’t gonna leave him again. Time passes we kept talking. He told me his problems with her. I helped. He told he was in love. It hurt but I didn’t say anything cause I was the one saying “hey we are best friends tell me everything” “he said I don’t think its ok doing so” he met again this last December after 2 years. He had a long distance relationship with her as well. And so after almost a year they met again. So did we. After we saw each other he broke up with her. Realizing that all the trouble they had was because he actually wasn’t in love cause he is still in love with me. I’m living in Switzerland and he lives in the US but in Valentine’s Day we met again and we got back together. You guys can’t imagine how happy we are now. He even proposed to me. Of course it was a rush thing to do we know. But I said yes. Cause I truly believe he’s the love of my life. I wont say it’s easy cause now that we are back together we wanna spend everyday together and since we are far away it’s like impossible. I want you guys to give me some advices. Cause sometimes I just remember when he said he was in love with her and I feel jealous. Something that I never was. We decided to tell each other everything and so try to solve all the problems together. We understand that long distance requires a bit of attention and more in our situation. He has being so nice. And we talked about everything that happened afterwards. All the things that could’ve matter while breaking up we have changed of course but we realized that still we want the same things and that we wanna grow older together.

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    V

    March 1, 2015 at 3:29 pm

    I suppose my ex has got a new girlfriend now after the breakup 1.5-2months. Is that a rebound?

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    angel

    February 24, 2015 at 8:39 pm

    Hellow, my ex and I being together in 6years, we started dated on 22 July 2006, that’s his birthday date. until to 2013 we didn’t break up as real, we have a fight between our two families, our families didn’t want us to get together, and also about people gasp stupid stuff, that’s why he goes to another girl, but he still has a heart with me. we love each other, but for past 1yrs he still text me and mail me we’d update each other on our lives but he got married last year on June 21, 2014. the month he is getting married, he called me and cry and said, he love’s me very much, but he don’t know what to do, he wants to run away.
    but the sad thing he said the girl was pregnant. I ask him is it yours or someone else? he answer me, yes its mine.. and I am so confuse because only 1yr he met her and now having a baby.. I can’t believe.. but now I find out his not her real daughter. Every time I think about him. I don’t know what to do. Does he still love me? what can i do???

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    Nina

    February 23, 2015 at 12:21 pm

    I’m really confused. My ex and I broke up 7 yrs ago. We met right before I started college and broke up because long distance was tough. We were young but thought we really loved each other. But for the past 7 years he has ALWAYS contacted me. He would call me or text me out of the blue and we’d update each other on our lives,hang out (hook up occasionally) and then I won’t hear from him for another 3-6 months. No matter if he was in a relationship or not he would always text me a “hey how are you” or “let’s get a drink sometime.” I don’t know why he contacts me in this weird pattern and I’ve never gotten down to the bottom of it. But every time we hang out I get a flash back to when we were young and had so much fun together. Does he still love me? Should I pursue anything?

    1. Avatar

      Lisa

      February 24, 2015 at 2:35 am

      I am in a similar situation where my breakup was 5 years ago, and the guy has kept in contact with me as well.

      I think your ex probably still loves you but that doesn’t necessarily mean you should pursue anything.

      One thing that sucks about all of this is that keeping him “updated” makes him feel like he still “has” you in many ways. Does he? Is his contact with you preventing you from pursuing relationships with other guys?

      I mean, it depends what you want with him, but that’s the trouble of keeping in touch with exes.. if yall are both single it’s confusing to think about what “could be” …but deciding whether or not to pursue him is really tough, and it depends on your situation/what kind of person he has grown up to be.

      He is probably a very different person than the one you knew and made you so happy back then. You are probably different in a few major ways too. Would your current self be compatible with his current self? Sometimes it takes re-dating the guy to figure out. If I were you, I would just make sure not to think that it’s “meant to be” or “a sure thing” at this point. I would just look at it like, “I have a new boyfriend,” or “I’m dating another guy,” since yall are both adults now, so he is practically a “new” guy even though yall have a history.

      Best of luck to you. Most importantly, it’s vital for you to know that your life can be wonderful and full of love regardless of who’s in it at the moment. Lasting joy, in my experience, comes only from God. 🙂

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    Dani

    February 22, 2015 at 8:07 am

    I am really stuck.

    I dated this man for 1 year and we broke up over 2 years ago. He was the love of my life. We broke up as we fought all the time about stupid stuff, and was ready to move in with him but he said yes to start with and then changed him mind 1 week before I was due to move in.

    He emailed me a few days ago and is saying that he regrets that we broke up, and he wants to give it another go.

    The only problem is he lives in Christchurch and I live in Auckland. We did have a lot of fun together but towards the end we were nasty to each other. My friends hate him for what he did to me, as I had to go on anti-depressants for 6 months because he broke my heart.

    I don’t know what to do. I didn’t think much about him and now he emailed me all these feelings are coming flooding back.

    Any advice??

    1. Avatar

      Lisa

      February 26, 2015 at 11:34 am

      Hi Dani!
      My situation exactly. Now very important, please listen closely. Do not jump into this. My ex left me for another woman then came back 2 years later and I took him back without that much effort from his side. All it took was some pleading, saying he was an idiot and bang! I was back in his bed 2 hours later. I loved him very much even after 2 years. What followed was a year full of agony as he didn’t have to make an effort any more. I played it cool for a while but 6 months later realised he was just giving me enough to keep me interested. I was constantly waiting by the phone. We started fighting. I suggested we moved in together and he said yes, then changed his mind, which I couldn’t forgive. Two weeks ago he dumped me again and I’m totally devastated. Mostly because I allowed him to treat me like that after everything he had done to me in the past. So my advice give it a go but take things very slowly. Don’t go visit him,let him come to see you, don’t sleep with him right away. Don’t be afraid to say you want to take your time. It will only make him respect you more. Good luck! I hope you work things out.

    2. admin

      admin

      February 22, 2015 at 5:30 pm

      Yes, do you have any other means to communicate other than just an email?

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