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192 thoughts on “I Broke It Off With Him Now I Miss Him”

  1. Mira

    July 9, 2020 at 5:34 pm

    I broke up with my ex because he is into another serious relationship and committed to her than me. He doesn’t care about my needs though he kept on promising. He doesn’t call, sometimes won’t chat either. He shows more care when he needs sex.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 11, 2020 at 6:55 pm

      Hey Mira, so if you want to be with him in a relationship then you would need to follow the program, however I would suggest that you think about moving on if he is cheating on you and another woman and treating you so disrespectfully

  2. Chanelle

    July 8, 2020 at 11:44 pm

    I need advice. I recently got out of a 1.5 year relationship with my boyfriend, I broke up with him. In the beginning when we met, he was very pushy but grew on me. He moved in and practically made my coffee and breakfast everyday, and we both would go to class together (were both in grad school together). It was Pure bliss. He was alway there for me, I vented to him about my problems and he helped me find ways to deal with. He ended up getting a job back home in the east coast and I moved home to the west coast. Throughout the relationship he ALWAYS made sure we saw each other during breaks, which I understand because long distance can be hard. The Revelation came when he invited me to stay in his parents summer house with him, and I invited my twin to stay with us. It was Terrible. My sister and him constantly fought and did not get along. She made me realize it was a codependent relationship, because the romance died after 3-4 months. I thought it was normal for the honeymoon stage to die off, but it’s been a year now and we have not been intimate, because I really have no wanted to. At all. I think it’s because of the arguments between him and my twin. It got to me and slowly drilled holes in our relationship.
    So my ex and I were recently quarantining together, and I felt very smothered. I couldn’t wait to leave. And now I left, I was fine for couple of days and crying cause I’m confused. My sister despised him, so I told myself I can’t be with someone that doesn’t get with my sister. There were also a bunch of other reasons as well. Our communication is Not good, he doesn’t open to me about his feelings. It’s like guesswork with him. But I MISS him like crazy, it’s been 35 days, and I’m sad. I miss cooking with him, bike riding, puzzles. And all the pre quarantine days we had, I look at our pictures and cry.
    He now has a No contact rule on me and has moved on with a new girl he met last week. He told me all about it, told me she even likes me based on what he told her, and that’s she’s really nice, and they went jet skiing on July 4th. While I stayed home and prepared for my ginormous exam tomorrow. I nauseate at the thought of finding someone new. How is it that he’s so quick to move on and I’m here so depressed that he stopped caring. I’m questioning if he even loved me? Someone please help. Thnks lol

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 4, 2020 at 8:35 pm

      Hey Chanelle, just because he moved on quickly doesn’t mean he didn’t or doesn’t care. It shows that he is using a distraction to avoid dealing with the emotions you go through when having a break up. You need to follow the no contact rule for 45 days where you focus on yourself and not what he is doing with his life. Read and follow information about the Holy Trinity and being Ungettable. Then when you reach out you need to be following the being there method

  3. Marie

    July 7, 2020 at 10:36 pm

    I recently broke up with a man I dated for 10 months because in all that time, he was never able to have a conversation with me about the future and whether we were compatible long-term. I’m in my mid-30s (he just turned 40) and I definitely want to have children. I communicated that clearly and confidently as a non-negotiable from the very beginning. I think I believe him when he would say that he’s never been good about thinking about the future and didn’t know what he wanted… For a long time I figured I’d just give him time to figure out out, but got tired of waiting with no indication that he was taking it (or me) seriously. He’s a wonderful guy– kind, thoughtful, smart, hard-working, fun, athletic, multi-talented, tons in common, good in bed, friends I loved, would be a great dad. We had a ton in common, we never fought, and we were positive and supportive and affectionate to each other to the very end. However, he clearly has issues surrounding commitment in many areas of his life, and also seems to have no emotionally close relationships. It’s been two weeks of no contact and I’ve been focusing on building the life I want–including weighing options for becoming a mom on my own, going on dates, volunteering, biking my butt off, etc.–but I miss him. I really wish I could help him open up and feel the joy and confidence that comes with emotionally close, committed relationships. Is it worth even trying to get him back, or should I just accept him as another lost cause commitment-phobe and move on? If there’s real hope, since I broke up with him, what’s the no-contact timeline and best way to reach back out?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 1, 2020 at 2:41 pm

      Hi Marie, you would need to do a 21 or 30 day No Contact, basing this on the fact that your break up does not sound overly emotional or any bad words. If your ex is set on not having children then this is something you need to keep in mind especially if you do want them yourself. During your No Contact, you need to decide what it is you want in your future, and if it is 100% to be a mother, then you need to accept that even though your relationship and connection was great, ultimately you do not want the same things in life.

  4. Josie

    June 19, 2020 at 6:27 pm

    I broke up with my boyfriend two days ago. We were together for a year and we had an amazing first few months, he was romantic, committed and he always welcomed me into his family events. But after a few months things took a turn for the worst with us. He was getting more and more depressed it seemed but now I see the full picture. My boyfriend vapes and he smokes marijuana. I knew he was addicted to vaping but he always expressed that he would quit to me. And he never liked me to go to his house because he’s messy so I didn’t know he was smoking weed every night. Cut to March and we moved in together for the lockdown. I saw a MUCH different side to him. He was messy, stayed up most of the night then slept through the day, grumpy. And when I would express concerns or try to make plans for the future (I was kind of in denial about the covid thing pausing the world at first) he would get so angry and say really hurtful things to me. He also said that if we ended up in different places for a period of time he couldn’t trust that I wouldn’t go to bars and cheat on him. I’ve never been one to go to bars much and he knows that. So I ended up leaving to stay with a friend and after a couple of weeks I ended it. I feel like I do miss him very much though. I know it’s still early and raw. He made me question my decision too because he kept telling me how regretful he was about everything and how much he was taking steps to change. But when I kept mentioning that it would require more time I felt like he was pressuring me to move back in with him while he made his “changes” which isn’t fair to me. Anyways, breakups suck especially with covid. I always have this urge to update him on something or even just to check in with him, it’s a struggle. I really really hope that after at least a 30 day no contact I’m starting to feel better and more sure of my decision.

  5. Hira

    June 16, 2020 at 12:44 pm

    I love my ex, and I miss him. But I don’t want him back. I broke up with him yesterday. We were dating for 8 months and best friends for 2 and a half years. He was everything to me, my whole world and we love each other so much it was unhealthy. Our lives revolves around each other and we were addicted to constantly talking and texting, especially in quarantine. This was exhausting for me as sometimes I just wanted space but he didn’t take that well. The first few months of our relationship were picture perfect. Then, I realized I had been neglected my friends and tried to balance out my life a little. This resulted in him feeling sad and lonely when I wasn’t around and I consistently felt guilty for doing things that didn’t involve him. On top of this, we had constant disagreements that escalated into fights and led to him name calling and disrespecting and saying hurtful things that left me in tears multiple times a week. However, he always apologized in the end and said everything was only said in anger and he didn’t mean it. I know this isn’t okay but I love him and it hurts that he can’t be the same man again. I love him, and I miss him but he’s not good for me. We were loyal and committed and would have done anything for each other, but I couldn’t even express myself around him anymore because I feared his reaction and anger. Everything was just causing me stress and anxiety. Throughout the last few months, I felt like I wasn’t even allowed to feel sad because it would upset him and he would distance himself from me even though all I needed at the time was his comfort. He could not be the man I needed him to be, the man he was when this relationship started. Near the last few weeks, I no longer felt special or happy in his presence, as all he did was make immature jokes and laugh to himself at my expense. I guess we just weren’t on the same wavelength anymore. I don’t know how to move on from him. In the past, during our friendship, we’d try to take breaks from our friendship because he had feelings for me and I didn’t – however, they didn’t last very long because we missed each other too much. I’m afraid this will be like those times. I love him still, so much, and I can’t stop thinking about him. But I can’t be in a relationship with the man he became. We ended up resented each other quite a bit.

  6. Chloe

    June 15, 2020 at 4:13 am

    I broke up with my partner of over 4 years 2 days ago, I can’t tell if I genuinely regret it or not. My emotional needs were not being met for a long time – we would have the same argument repeatedly, and i feel over time i grew to understand his communication style more. I would word things in a different way for him to understand, i would take shared blame when we argued instead of simply telling him the things I felt he did wrong, I felt I really picked my battles and let a lot of things go. I never felt that he tried to grow the same way for me. He never tried to communicate better/differently with me, if I tried to talk through an argument he would simply end it bc ‘arguing wasn’t productive’ and usually a normal discussion was considered an argument to him, so he didn’t want to have it. Over time, it really wore on me that he didn’t understand how I needed him to communicate in our relationship. He swept our argumemts under the rug and never wanted them discussed again. There were many times I had the thought that our communication style simply wasn’t compatible and I didn’t know if I could be happy letting him sweep our issues under the rug like that forever, but i soldiered on and accepted you cant change someone. So 2 days ago, we had another stupid argument over nothing that came from a dumb miscommunication – he said something that sounded shitty to me, so I said that sounded weird, what did he mean by that? And his reaction was to get annoyed with me. Instead of clarifying what he meant, his response was ‘why do we always have to have this conversation, id like us to do things without being restrained by this kind of thing, I shouldn’t have to clarify things to you bc you’ve been with me so long, you should know I didn’t mean it that way’. I fully appreciate i am sensitive and can take things wrong sometimes, but don’t you expect your partner to know you and respond to you in a way they know you will understand? I constantly was modifying my words and making it easier for him to comprehend/understand, but he couldn’t do that for me, it was simply inconvenient. So I took a few hours to myself after that discussion, and I called him to breakup. He was absolutely blindsided. He never realized these things bothered me to the extent that I would leave – even though I had mentioned throughout our relationship that I was unhappy with our communication, how he handled things sometimes, he was able to sweep those away and didn’t realize I couldn’t do the same. He said he wished i had called and told him how I was feeling to give him a chance to fix it, rather than just calling to breakup. I feel absolutely awful. Immediately after we hung up I’ve felt regret ever since, bc i do love him 100% and I enjoy our life together, I feel so horrible that I hurt him. I’ve talked with my mom and all of my girlfriends who all agree it was the right choice since they all recall the times I expressed to them i was unhappy, and are obviously not clouded by feelings like I am right now. My mother made a good point – you shouldn’t have to tell someone something bothers you and it has to change or you will leave – it shouldve been enough for me to tell him something bothered me, and he should’ve taken it seriously at the time. All I can remember right now are our good times where he made me incredibly happy and really did try, bc he did at times. Im wondering if I could have been happy with him for the rest of our lives despite our poor communication, even though logically i know i would have been internally miserable. I miss him a lot and all I want to do is call and apologize. Its been 2 days with no contact and its rough, but I’ll continue for a few weeks to hopefully clear my head and give him some time to be hurt on his own. Do you think I made the wrong choice, based on the small amount of info I just gave? 🙁 should I have vocalized I was so unhappy I would leave, before doing so, to give him a clear opportunity to try and be better? Or was me telling him different things bothered me throughout our relationship enough

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 4, 2020 at 10:51 am

      Hi Chloe, honestly it sounds as if your relationship made you unhappy because of who he is as a person – not that he is a bad person. Just that you didn’t seem to have the same idea of how you should communicate and behave when in a relationship. To which I would suggest that you follow the program and work your Holy Trinity, during which this is going to give your ex some time to miss you and think about what you have said to him about why you ended things and that you were unhappy. When you start the texting phase or start trying to get conversations started, keep in mind that he may never change the way he is in a relationship as he is, who he is. And you changing wore you down in the end as no one can force themselves to be a certain way if it is not natural to them. Getting back with your ex you are accepting that this is how he is when you are in a relationship

  7. Kia

    June 14, 2020 at 2:04 am

    Hi so I broke up with my boyfriend about 2 weeks ago when I noticed I couldn’t handle the distance that the Covid 19 Lockdown put between us, I’d text him and we used to call everyday at first but whenever I told him I was feeling immensely lonely he was never any good at taking care of that, even if we called nonstop, I was affection starved and lonely. I had a friend texting me too during the time and I noticed myself getting serious sexual fantasies about him and that’s where it started. I thought first, hang on no that’s wrong, and expelled the thought. But then that was only the beginning. I started to think about what it’d be like to be single, about what it’d be like to date more dominant men, about anonymous sex. And that’s when I joined Kik… And got in a few group chats. I began to dirty talk with a few people, always keeping in my mind ”It’s okay, this is temporary, I’m just taking care of my needs while he can’t, and when this is all over, we can go back to normal”, then me and him spoke less and less, no more calls as i distanced myself further and further, then one day I realised…”What if this doesn’t go back to normal after Covid? What if I won’t be able to stop?” So after really awful texting to him about the situation I decided it was douchy and asked him to forget everything
    i said and to meet me, so we did, I wanted him to know I was leaving because of me and not because of him so I made sure to let us have some fun as usual and to hold hands and hang out as usual before I told him. We exchanged some parting gifts and then I walked him home and we kissed for the last time before he started crying and my dumb ass, not knowing what to do, practically shoved him into his house before running off before I’d cry in front of him. That day I left feeling empty, depressed, sad, tearful; that Uber driver will never forget me as I got him to blast the radio ‘We Found Love’ by Rihanna and I ugly cried while singing loudly and out of pitch like a wailing dog left out in the rain as the poor sod drove me home.
    Yeah, the next day, I was fresh full of life, ready to push through my breakup and become a better me in this new single life I’d chosen for myself and that I’d been pondering over to myself for over 2 months. At first I felt relieved and even binged on a couple cute boys (sexually), feeling free and shit, including the friend I’d fore-mentioned having sexual fantasies about. WOO I was feeling awesome. And then, half way through a day with this cute boy, that now has a crush on me, I was kissing him then BAM ex. I told the guy to go home and now every since, those boys I slept with now BOTH like me romantically, which I am trying my darn best to dodge like a running ferret, and I can’t stop thinking about my ex. I actively look for him in the street, I think about him most of the day, thing is though, I could message him if I wanted to really badly but I have some spectacular instinct, pushing me not to do it. I think my reason to breakup is still a good reason, I do believe I’m just wanting him back because I miss him, but it’s also because, even with these new boys around me as distraction, cute, ready to be loyal, I just, can’t even bare to imagine being able to feel the amount of adoration and closeness, as I did with my ex, with them. Nor do I feel like I really want to. Out of ALL the MISTAKES I’ve gone out with, my ex is the one that made the ACTIVE effort to make me feel heard, loved, respect, and most importantly, well fed. He always treated me and cared for me and even in a discussion of opposing opinion, if he saw it upset me he would jump to correct the situation. I’m beside myself imaging him being miserable right now, I can’t bare the thought of him blaming himself, because I know he will. I want him back because he really is the first person I’ve been so close to and who I felt I could truly learn to understand too. I do feel like in a lot of ways, this lockdown has allowed me to find out who I am, in all the best ways and in all its ugliest ways too. That I cant resist temptation and that I can’t stand distance in a relationship without distinct shows of affection. So I’ll do the ‘No-Contact’ Rule, by the end of the suggested no talk time, Lockdown should be over anyway and…I should have a clear mind by then, and I’ll do as much as I can in my power to bump into him. Even if we don’t date again, I just want him in my life. I’ll try to work on myself but, I don’t think I can do that until my ‘sciency hormones’ calm down a bit. Cos at this very moment I swear I could cut myself and I don’t say that lightly.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 3, 2020 at 10:31 pm

      Hey Kia, with how you are feeling I would suggest that you seek out some professional support to really help you through those feelings of wanting to harm yourself, and you are correct when you say that you cant really get your ex back until you are in a better place yourself. Read about the Holy Trinity and understand this can also help you work on yourself so that you start feeling in a better place eventually

  8. Preppy

    May 25, 2020 at 1:25 pm

    I broke up with my boyfriend around april…i just felt we were arguing over the same repeated issue and there were other issues that i knew we could not get past over time…i love him but i just didnt want to continue like this

  9. Helen

    May 20, 2020 at 10:33 am

    Hi,

    I broke up with my boyfriend June 20th 2020. We previously broke up in February 2017 but reconciled in July on that year.In total we dated for 5 years. We started dating when I was 18 and he was 19. We both bonded on our childhood trauma but that was one of our biggest issues as it was clear we were both still battling our past. We were also in a long distance relationship and could only see each other once a year. That was extremely difficult to deal with. We argued a lot and often didn’t have boundaries (in the sense we said really hurtful things to each other). When I broke up with him, I didn’t feel sad or I didn’t regret it. I went on to have an amazing summer and started a new job. However, this year I have started to think about him, increasingly. In the last year, I’ve grown up so much and really worked on bettering myself and cooling down my hot temperament. I miss him so much and I want to have reconnect with him with this new found growth, in order to see if we could work now that I’m healthier mentally. I know this could be dangerous as he may not be in that place yet but I can’t shake the feeling.

  10. Amelia

    May 18, 2020 at 2:26 am

    We broke up, but i was going to Wednesday and he knew I was so he changed how he acted. He acted like he loved me he showed me affection feelings etc. now it’s Sunday and he’s telling me he was faking it. Faking it? Why fake it if you aren’t happy and want to break up anyway. We were miserable. I tried hard. Really hard to be happy with him but he was insensitive and did not show feelings. That led to me being mean when he did not which led to me being the “bitch” i tried to explain that. He always complained we were miserable bc of me but all i asked of him was that he showed he cared and wanted to be with me. He never did it so i was always grouchy. I have the worst separation anxiety, jealousy problem, and nosiness ever. I don’t want to be with him but i do bc of everything i did with him. It was 3/4 years together how can i not. I did everything with him everything i see eat touch smell. Anything reminds me of him. I can’t do this. I text him and he doesn’t answer till like three hours later. He wants me but does not want the bitching. I try and explain. There’s no bitching if he wasn’t insensitive but he won’t change that and i can’t make him change because you can’t change anyone but yourself. I can’t get over him, and I need to.

  11. PEA

    May 15, 2020 at 10:32 am

    This man has been wanting to be in a relationship with me for 2 years. He would follow me around my job. Take breaks when he knew I would be taking a break. Text me compliments or just to check on me. Finally he communicate and said he wanted me to be his girl. We dated for 3 weeks before being romantically involved. After having sex I started feeling different and thinking that he wasn’t being faithful to me because he had this girl at work constantly hanging around him and when he and I would talk this girl would come over to us and interrupt our conversation. So I decided to dump him via text and he didn’t read the text so yesterday at work he was talking to me and asked me what did I need to talk to him about and I said read the text. He read the text that said that I wanted to end the relationship and then he went into explaining himself that he works all the time 7 days a week and all of a sudden that girl came over by us and smiled at me and said hi and I spoke and walk away from them both. He said since day one he is not messing with her. So now I am confused and I want to know if he really cares for me but I know he does because he told me and he shows me.

  12. Raena

    May 14, 2020 at 6:40 am

    I was talking with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years, he convinced me to move in with him and I did. We have been living together for 3 months and I found out he was cheating on me and sending nudes and sexting women beside me. I packed all my stuff and left, but now I don’t know if it was the right thing to do. I messaged him the screenshots of his texts with a fake account my friend made and told him I was gone. He blamed me and said he just got carried away. This is my first boyfriend, I’m 24 but now that I broke up with him and he’s blaming me for not sitting down and talking to him about this, saying I’m the one that threw it all away.

    Do you have any advice for me?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 20, 2020 at 9:12 pm

      Hi Raena, 100% no you did not do the wrong thing!! He did wrong he was cheating and then he had the cheek to blame you. He needs to feel the loss of you so be sure to stick to a 45 day No Contact where you focus on yourself and get over the hurt. Know his actions are all about him and his own issues. There is no way anyone should accept this behaviour and him blaming you is his trying to play the victim for his own wrong doing. Stick with a No Contact and watch how he changes over a few weeks.

  13. Britt

    May 9, 2020 at 5:06 am

    I was with my boyfriend 5 years. We had some very fun times. After about 3 years, I wanted to get engaged or make some sort of commitment. We ended up buying a ring together. And we planned a wedding. We even set the date and sent out save the date cards. One night, he had a fit and told me he wasn’t ready to get married at all. So we canceled the wedding. I asked him a few weeks later if he still wanted to be together and he said yes. I decided to move in with him and give it a shot. We did not do well living together. I like to paint and be creative. He is very cleanly and hated my creativity. We argued a lot. He thought I was messy and he didn’t like my dog. One night, I stormed out. We didn’t talk for a month. I missed him and he missed me so I moved back in. Things still didn’t improve. We had a huge fight and I moved out for good. It’s been 5 months. I am missing him like crazy. Should I just have listened to his rules because it was his house? Did I make a huge mistake? I’m 32 now. No kids. No husband. I feel so alone. I’m back living with my mom. I heard he is dating someone new. I don’t know how to move on.

  14. Jake

    May 5, 2020 at 10:44 pm

    My ex is off social media… why is this happening?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 6, 2020 at 7:49 am

      Hi Jake, at times people take a break from social media if they need the mental head space. If they used social media before it is likely they will come back when they are ready

  15. Malath

    April 30, 2020 at 7:31 am

    Hey , we were in a relationship for one year and half , it was a long distance relationship but then he came back but then he was not asking me to hang out , he was not making me a priority.. he was always with his friends .. he was asking “how are you” everyday but that’s it .. we broke up two times but they were short and he came back regretting his behavior but since that time he didn’t change and when i talked to him he said he needs time but I couldn’t wait because i have had enough so i dumped him and now i miss him

  16. Tonya

    April 27, 2020 at 12:29 am

    I walked away from this 4.5 months relationship just two days ago. I love and miss him so much but I think I did the right thing. He was always texting and flirting with his exes during these months. We argued and fought about it many times. He promised not to do it again. His reason was he wasn’t happy or feel excited with me so he was trying to find his happiness through flirting with others. I exploded recently when I found out through texts that he went to a family gathering without me and claiming he was working that day. He did that so he shows up as a single guy and flirt with possible girls at the party. By the way i have met his family and attended family birthday parties before. He wants to keep me in his life because he sees me as a very good and qualified person (wife type pf person) but im not enough for him to be loyal to me. All he says he likes me and he used to me. I hope to hear anyone’s advice if i did the right thing by walking away or should I give him another chance after I lost trust. Thanks

  17. Runi

    April 26, 2020 at 11:48 pm

    Hi. I broke up with my bf 4 days ago. Reason being, he kept saying he doesn’t love me the way i do. He kept saying i shudnt waste my time over him and move on if i find someone better. And these lines hurt me feelings n self respect. So i broke up. But i do miss him. I m practicing no contact. Wud u suggest, will he come bak? If he does how shud i handle, to get him bak.
    Also, we dated for around 2 months only ,in those months too ,we cudnt meet much (only5 times)because of current lockdown situation. But we stayed connected always..he shared lil to imp stuffs with me. He cared about me too. It was just he wud say i love him too much and he feels guilty. And that hurts. What shud i do.
    Thanks in advance. Chris , i m a fan ❤

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 2, 2020 at 1:46 pm

      Hi Runi, so I would suggest that you take some time in No Contact to basically reset the process if you want ot get him back and start following the program stage by stage using the advice given to become the best version of yourself and start re attracting your ex

  18. Sabrina Machado

    April 23, 2020 at 8:52 pm

    We were together for 8 months, we lived together for 4 months and half. I seen messages on his phone with couple girls. He didnt want to spend too much time with me. He said i wasnt going to control him.

  19. J

    April 17, 2020 at 8:05 am

    Alright so I definitely miss the dude, like so much. I definitely realize all the amazing things he did for me that I took for granted. I don’t think I want to date him again though just because of trust issues we had I can’t put myself through that again. But i miss spending time with him, laughing with him, and just him as a person being in my presence. (oh and the sex ofcourse). anyways, we dated for about 10 months, broke up around may last year, and just hooked up for the first time since. we had a great time and even cuddled after and looked at stars together. it felt like old times and i know we both enjoyed it but i think i broke his heart so bad he’ll never tell me if he misses me or wants me back. also, i know we should not get back together since he’s going to college in a whole other state

  20. Karen

    March 24, 2020 at 9:34 am

    I do apologise but this is going to be a long one…
    We met in June 19, briefly, whilst he had a gf. We met a gee times, talked a lot, and one day he disappeared. I thought ‘Fine, whatever’ and got on with my life.
    Fast forward to February 2020, and he messages, ‘I’m so sorry, I hate what I did, I never should have done it, I chose you, but my gf announced she was pregnant’.
    Judging aside, he said they broke up about 2 weeks after we started to talk again. We saw each other once or twice a week told yesterday, phone calls, silly fb videos, etc.
    He still lives with his ex. His daughter has arrived. And despite him saying all the right things we’re still sneaking around because he doesnt want his ex to find out yet.
    I basically send him a very long message yesterday saying I cant do this anymore. It’s not fair and it’s not what I want. I want more or nothing at all, so let’s just end it here.
    He is kind, and polite, and understanding, and extremely apologetic again.
    I cry a lot, but know I have done the right thing.
    Today I wake up and I miss him terribly. I just want to message him and tell him. I cant stop crying. I dont think I was this upset when my ex of 5 years left. And somehow, this guy who I hardly know has gotten so under my skin I feel like i cant function. Likening this feeling to a drug is not wrong.
    I hope things will be different in the future when he sorts himself out, and maybe our paths will cross again. But right now, it hurts soo much

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