How To Win An Ex Back Who Is With Someone Else- Here's What You Do!

240 thoughts on “How To Win Back An Ex Who Is With Someone Else”

Lauren

February 5, 2018 at 10:48 am

Hi Amor,

He keeps sending me all these funny videos & pics (the kind of things we used to send each other) I haven’t replied to any. Is he trying to get a reaction out of me? Should I just carry on with No contact and not saying anything when he sends me them?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 8, 2018 at 11:31 am

You should just carry on, because nc means no replying and no initiating unless really needed like exchanging stuff.. If you insist in doing nc, do at least 30 days.

Lauren

January 31, 2018 at 5:19 pm

Hi Amor

Thanks, we haven’t been on and off at all. It’s been a casual thing because we live in different countries. It was never like an office thing because it’s hard. I’m going to do 21 days no contact and then the “be there” method as he’s still a commitment phobe and I doubt he’ll get serious with these girls
Lauren

January 30, 2018 at 7:24 am

Thanks amor. We chatted and he told me that he’s dating a couple of girls and the stress of lying to them is too much if I went and saw him too. He then also said “I’m dating a cpl girls and might get serious with one eventually. Weighing things out and gna stay with one or two girls only. I deactivated the app” (he’s talking about the dating app) “trying not to mess around too much” this kills me because I don’t understand why it’s not me he wants to do this for? And if he’s really going to do that? I didn’t reply to that. Do you think I have a chance if I go no contact and improve myself?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 31, 2018 at 5:14 pm

If you’ve been on and off, nope… I think it’s time to move on.

Lauren

January 26, 2018 at 1:13 am

Hi Amor,

Thanks for getting back to me.

We last saw each other in November. Been talking since. No contact 4 days. Will it work on him? (Being a 32 year old commitment phobe. Never having had a relationship, gets bored and moves on to the next girl quick. Although he has been putting in effort with me for 6 months)

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 29, 2018 at 11:32 am

it’s not a guarantee to work in any situation, but it helps increase you chances. He will less likely to commit if you’re always there because there’s no sense of urgency or need to commit to you since he knows you won’t likely be gone..

Lauren Parratt

January 23, 2018 at 10:26 pm

I met this guy in August while on holiday. We hung out for the rest of my time there- it was chilled and fun. We continued to messages every day when I came back- I went back to Greece to see him in September and then again in November when he kept saying he would come to London to see me (I never initiated that kind of convo). He’s 32, never really had a relationship & has told me many times he likes being alone (emotionally unavailable commitment phobe- my fave!) since last seeing him his contact has been on and off. I was meant to see him at Christmas but he said he wanted to be alone but that his wanted to see in 2018 (lol). I stopped talking to him but he continued to text me and send me funny pictures and videos so it was hard not to reply. The beginning of this month I asked whether he wanted to see me he said “idk, I’m seeing other girls now” I didn’t even acknowledge the message and then he said “I get bored I guess” (cos he never dates a girl for more than 2 months) then I get several other messages not relevant and I wake up to a video. I took 4 days to reply and he wasn’t that responsive & I said “you hate me” he called me my nick name and said why would I hate you? I didn’t reply and then he spent the next 4 days sending me funny videos and pics (I didn’t reply other than lol to one to which he asked me a question) then it’s kind of been the same… he continues to send me pics and videos & I haven’t responded when I have texted he replies straight away and calls me my nick name & he even teased me by saying he wants to see my bedroom. My question is do I do no contact on him for a full 30 days? Or do I continue to be in his life in this vague way? Currently he knows I still like him and I’m still here when he wants. I don’t think he would have continued with me for this long if he didn’t think I was slightly different to Greek girls (English banter & I know how to play him & give him wittiness back) but obv he’s egotistical and wants the attention & isn’t doing anything about seeing me again… what’s my best move?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 25, 2018 at 6:39 pm

Hi Lauren,
Since when have you been talking to him and you haven’t done nc?

Lucille

January 18, 2018 at 1:03 pm

Please help.

Bullet points so far

– my ex started messaging another girl so I broke it off, he had been ignoring me up to this point I chased him, before knowing this website existed when I found out I removed him off social media and told him I was done.
– we work together but in different departments, I’ve read the articles on working together
– I’ve gone no contact and made my posts public
– I’m working on me and becoming the ungettable girl
– I’ve had to send an email to him about flight details but forwarded it on without saying a thing he replied to say thanks and I didn’t reply.

Now then, tomorrow I have to be in the area he works in I will look good I have that all planned, I will be near him but won’t speak to him, it’s day 21 tomorrow. He has just put on Facebook that’s he’s in a relationship with this new girl. There’s also another email about another flight I’ll need to send on to him in a few weeks (not sure of timings) which will require him to contact me for a password.

Essentially I’m not sure how to handle any of this given the latest update, I’m devastated and also as we don’t talk and have no real reason to talk any more there’s no way I can open up the lines of communication.

I feel stuck and hurt. What do I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 20, 2018 at 1:45 am

Hi Lucille,

You’re not supposed to know that because that would mean you’re stalking his account. So, you’re not going to do anything about it.. just keep doing what you’re currently doing.

Lucille

January 1, 2018 at 9:33 am

Hello again,

I have a follow up question to the reply to my first post (on the 28th Dec at 9:05pm)

How will actively posting help if I’ve removed him (I blocked him and if he’s noticed I don’t want to undo it) off social media? I have a few mutual friends who could help, but I don’t want them to know I’m attempting this and they rarely post. Should I actively post any way just in case?

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 2, 2018 at 6:44 pm

You need to make your posts public so that if he checks through a different account he will see them

Amanda

December 30, 2017 at 11:55 pm

This is in response to the question “what was our form of No Contact”. Sorry, I don’t see a reply to comment space. Now to the response….. We work together, so I could never go literally 30 days without crossing paths with him at some point, so when I would pass him in the hall, I’d say “hi”, but not chat with him. Other than saying hi, I would not speak to him at all. No texts, no phonecalls.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2017 at 8:09 pm

ok, that’s good but how much did you improve yourself? And aside from following the advice on how to win an ex who is with someone else, check this one top:
EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex

Lucille

December 30, 2017 at 9:05 pm

Hello,

Ok, my ex and I broke up a couple of weeks ago, except we didn’t break up, he went silent on me and I finally managed to get him to talk to me yesterday.
We were only in the beginning stages of our “relationship” but we have been actively present in each other’s lives, dating, sleeping together, talking every day for three months.
When we were dating he said he wasn’t sure he wanted a relationship, but he also said things that spoke of our future together.
Yesterday he told me he’s dating someone new and he would like to be in a relationship with her.
I cried, I hung up and I sent him a number of texts, then I removed him off social media, I then found this website.
I’m going to go into non contact, and I’ve started that today, I will need to see him later in the month but I’m going to make sure I look fit and healthy as I’ll be going to the gym. I have a new job as well where I can excel.
I definitely have stronger feelings for him than he does for me, he will be seeing the new girl every day (I know this will happen due to work arrangements).
I have a few questions –
Have I put myself in a weak position?
Is this even a worthwhile attempt to make?
Should I go no contact?

Thanks

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2017 at 10:59 pm

Hi Lucille,

It does so if you’re going to try the nc rule, you have to make up for it by being active in posting and looking like you’re moving on.

LC

December 30, 2017 at 1:30 am

Hey Chris.

So my boyfriend broke up with me in October of this year. I was able to complete no contact for over 45 days. During the no contact period, I worked on me. I went to Paint Nites, hung out with my friends and family, began journaling, went to the movies, etc. According to my boyfriend, he said he stopped having feelings for me and was just used to me. He also added that my negative part of my personality took a toll. So I got real and began to seek therapy to help me work on being more positive and rational. While I was away on a weekend trip, I sent him the first text. I got a positive response. I gave it a week and texted him again, and it was positive response. The week following he reached out to me, and we talked for a bit. So that was 3 conversations 2 of which were initiated by me. However, there is a trip we had planned to go together in January. We bought the airfare in June, but come October he broke up with me. So yesterday, we met up in person, and I was nervous because I didn’t know what it would turn out to be. During the conversation, I was telling him about all these great things about me–I began exercising and being active, my relationships with my family and friends were much better, and I got a new job. He told me he was happy for me and everything. I was talking very positively and cordial. I asked how he has been and what he’d been up to, and he told me, “Nothing. You’ve changed so much, and I realized I haven’t done anything.” We kept talking, and then it came down to the trip in January. There were pros and cons like am I emotionally ready or can we go as friends. However, he hit with the one thing that hurt probably more than him breaking up with me. I already knew what he was going to say when he said, “I have to tell you something.” I told him, “You’re seeing someone.” My heart dropped. I had hoped that us going on this trip together was going to help rekindle our relationship. I would remind him that I was still the girl he fell in love with, but now that he is seeing someone I don’t think I can go. According to him, this new girl knows about the trip and knows of the possibility of me going. She said she was okay with it. I asked him how long they had been seeing each other, and he told me 1 month. It’s been 2.5 months since he broke up with me, and it’s been 1 month since he began seeing this girl. My heart just got thrown out of me. I remained as calm as I could, but he knew I was hurt. What is this relationship? A rebound? I hope it’s a rebound. I pray so hard it’s a rebound. I had built all this confidence to try to work things out with him, but he told me that he wanted me to go on this trip with him as his friend and not to rekindle our relationship. As far as I know, he doesn’t know that I had hope to use the trip as a way to give us another change. I feel so betrayed and insignificant to him because he jumped into this relationship so quickly. Do I still have a chance of getting him back whether or not I go? Should I just give up? What should I do? Should I go into another period of no contact? Please help me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2017 at 9:45 pm

Hi LC,

she can be a rebound.. if you can go without being emotional or getting angry at him and using it for your leverage, then go.

Amanda

December 28, 2017 at 9:41 pm

Amanda

December 28, 2017 at 9:19 am

Hey there. My question has a bit of a long story attached to it. So my ex and I dated about 4 years ago. We had a solid foundation of friendship before we ever started dating and after a year and a half, he broke up with me. It wasn’t a nasty, ugly, breakup, neither one of us were in a good mind frame to make a serious relationship work, and we both knew it. He was just the one to pull the trigger on the relationship before I got the chance to. We’ve remained friends since we broke up, but there has also been those times where we would start talking again, hang out with each other, it would seem like things were heading back to getting back together, and then it would phase out again. We’ve always had that old chemistry and attraction to each other since the break up, and there are those old feelings left there. Definitely on my end, pretty sure it’s the same with him as he’s still very protective of me, refers to me by the pet name he started calling me back when we started dating, etc. I really want to give things another shot with him as a lot of time has passed, and I believe we’ve moved passed the emotional baggage that we both brought into the relationship. Our personalities meshed really well, and we were really happy with each other. He’s always said he could see us ending up together. The problem is, now he recently got a girlfriend, and I don’t know how to get him back. We’ve spoken since he started dating this other girl, and all of the responses have been positive. I should also add, that there is quite a large age difference between he and his new girlfriend (he’s 33, she just turned 22). He and I are the same age. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 28, 2017 at 7:25 pm

Hi Amanda,

describe your own form of nc. How did you do it?

I went completely no phone calls or texts for 45days or so. Unfortunately, he and I work together, so there was never a point where we wouldn’t pass each other in the halls at work, but at no point did I ever have a conversation with him

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 31, 2017 at 8:09 pm

ok, that’s good but how much did you improve yourself? And aside from following the advice on how to win an ex who is with someone else, check this one top:
EBR 009: The No Contact Rule If You Work With Your Ex

Amanda

December 28, 2017 at 9:37 pm

My longest no contact with him was 45 days/6 weeks-ish.
Amanda

December 28, 2017 at 5:14 pm

Hey Chris,

I need your help about getting my ex back. He and I broke up 4 years ago. We had a solid foundation of friendship before we started dating. We started dating, but after a year and a half, he broke up with me. It wasn’t a nasty, ugly breakup, there was no fighting, we both just had too much emotional baggage at the time and we both knew that we were not in the right mind frame to fully support a long term, serious relationship. We’ve remained good friends over the time that we’ve broken up, and have hung out one-on-one many times since we broke up as well. We’ve both gone on dates with other people, but there was never anything serious with those people. The chemistry and attraction has always been there, as well as the feelings that we have for each other. Definitely on my end, and I believe on his end as well, as he’s still very protective over me, he still calls me by the pet name he’s called me since we started dating, he’s said that he can see himself with me, etc. We have done our own form of the no contact thing. After doing the no contact, it’s seemed several times that it could be heading towards reconcilliation, but then it phases out again. I want my ex back because I feel like we’ve both grown as people since we broke up and that we’re over the emotional baggage that we brought into the relationship before. We still have that chemistry, we still have that emotional attachment, there was really no fighting during the relationship, and I feel like we could be great if we got back together. The problem now is that 4 months ago, he began a relationship with a new girl (he’s 33, she’s 22, I’m 33). For 1 month of their relationship she was out of the country for a trip overseas, and during another 2 weeks he was away visiting family. I’d like to know how I can get him back. She’s a nice girl, but I don’t think they are well suited for each other and I don’t foresee it ending well. I feel deep down that if we were to give us another shot, it could work out phenomenally. Or at least to know the odds of me being able to me successful in getting him back.

Thanks in advance for any advice you have!!!
Amanda

December 28, 2017 at 9:19 am

Hey there. My question has a bit of a long story attached to it. So my ex and I dated about 4 years ago. We had a solid foundation of friendship before we ever started dating and after a year and a half, he broke up with me. It wasn’t a nasty, ugly, breakup, neither one of us were in a good mind frame to make a serious relationship work, and we both knew it. He was just the one to pull the trigger on the relationship before I got the chance to. We’ve remained friends since we broke up, but there has also been those times where we would start talking again, hang out with each other, it would seem like things were heading back to getting back together, and then it would phase out again. We’ve always had that old chemistry and attraction to each other since the break up, and there are those old feelings left there. Definitely on my end, pretty sure it’s the same with him as he’s still very protective of me, refers to me by the pet name he started calling me back when we started dating, etc. I really want to give things another shot with him as a lot of time has passed, and I believe we’ve moved passed the emotional baggage that we both brought into the relationship. Our personalities meshed really well, and we were really happy with each other. He’s always said he could see us ending up together. The problem is, now he recently got a girlfriend, and I don’t know how to get him back. We’ve spoken since he started dating this other girl, and all of the responses have been positive. I should also add, that there is quite a large age difference between he and his new girlfriend (he’s 33, she just turned 22). He and I are the same age. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 28, 2017 at 7:25 pm

Hi Amanda,

describe your own form of nc. How did you do it?

Wren

December 18, 2017 at 5:43 am

my ex of 6 years broke up with me because he said he was unhappy. hard for me to believe since he stayed in it for so long. i found out i was pregnant after the break up and then i miscarried. i didn’t tell him until after the fact because i was unsure of what he might say or do. i did some things that i’m not proud of. i incessantly called and texted him, drunk called him, and showed up at his house unannounced and uninvited to give him stuff back. he has blocked my number again and will not unblock me. i haven’t spoken with him in over 4 months. i wrote him a letter about 4 months ago saying something about the pregnancy and miscarriage but i am not sure if he even read the letter, so i didn’t get a response. then i messaged him two weeks later saying that i was sorry for my behavior and that i would like to talk before i move. then i messaged him a few weeks before i moved to a new city saying that i’d like to talk again and give him some things of his back, again no response. i have been messaging him on social media since he has blocked my number. i know that i haven’t acted right but he hasn’t either and i want a chance at reconciliation. i messaged him a few days before i left for school saying that i would like to give him his things back and that i would like some closure and would like to discuss the pregnancy and miscarriage. but he won’t even acknowledge me and i just don’t think he is being fair. he says that he knows what he wants in the future but no one knows what he/she wants in the future, not even him. it’s unfair of him to say that. his demeanor changed when i got into grad school in the same place where he wanted to go to grad school and he got wait listed. he broke up with me 3 weeks after i got into grad school where he wanted to go. i want to work things out, i want him back, and i want him back now. i found out he is seeing someone else and i lost my cool and i got his family involved and i just wasn’t thinking very clearly and i was just so upset and angry. i have since then cut off contact with them and i have been in therapy for quite sometime and will continue to be in therapy. i cannot handle the fact that he may never talk to me again. he does not get a free pass to act like this and things need to be discussed. i want him back. I am not sure if he is still with this new person, I am too afraid to look on social media to see if he is because I do not want to have another mental breakdown. All I want is him back. That is all. I am tired of people telling me to take care of myself, I have done that and I want a second chance. I have since this apologized to his mom but not his sister. As for him, I have tried to apologize but I am continuously ignored. I heard that he wasn’t seeing the new girl anymore and I want to reach out to him but I don’t know how to reach out in a way to get him to respond to me. I want to rekindle things. I haven’t reached out to him since I moved to a new city for school which was over 2 months ago. i texted his mom thursday and said “i hope that your son and i can talk one day too and wish him well” and she didn’t respond either. i messaged him last week via txt and my number wasn’t blocked because the message went through. all i said was “hope you’re doing well. i was just thinking about you.” no response. i understand that he may not know what to say to me or he may be doing other things but 6 years is not a freaking joke and i just want him back. i know he’s not acting right. i cannot explain why i want him back, i just do.i am also trying to get something of mine back and he won’t give me the time of day. I really want a chance at reconciliation and working things out with him. His mom and sister say that his new girlfriend is not very nice and is pretentious and they don’t like her. They both thing he is an asshole. I just feel like I have lost my chance to fix things with him even though that is all I want. I want him back. if he really acts so disinterested and whatever when he is around her according to his family, don’t you think that this relationship or whatever he is in is temporary or not long-lasting? i just want him back, that’s all i want. i know he is an asshole, but i like to think that i am a forgiving person. I feel like i have done everything and he has me right where he wants me. by my texting him and him not responding, it feeds his ego knowing that he can have me whenever he gets his head out of his butt. I’ve reconciled with his family and i feel that i have been robbed of a second chance and he robbed our relationship of a second chance.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 7:18 pm

Hi Wren,

Honestly, you need to move on..

sally

December 9, 2017 at 12:15 am

and i insulted the girl while he was trying to convince me and asking me why i think she wanted only to have fun with no commitment.. i said coz she is a bi*** and he was upset for that and said she is a v good girl

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 11, 2017 at 4:10 am

Hi Sally,

He wanted to get back with you but he also wants to continue seeing the other girl? Check this one:
My Boyfriend Says He Wants To Date Me and Another Girl

sally

December 9, 2017 at 12:07 am

Hello, my ex fiancee and i broke up 10 days ago… i went nc, then he contacted me to exchange stuff. At first he was the one texting repeatedly (for exchanging stuff but being extra nice and appologetic if anything might bother me). Then, i called him and told him to meet up and wanted to get back together. though it’s only 10 days i did some improvements like new hair color, make up style, eating healthy starting new sport and feeling fine on my own some how. when i saw him i made sure he saw the changes and i looked stunning and he commented on that. we met twice and in one time i insisted on going to the sport trainiing before seeing him and didn’t cancel it to meet him. this is so much different than my attitude with him during the relationship. we talked on the phone after that and he said he was going to see a friend. then he called me late at night and told me that he started seeing a girl when we broke up and this is the girl he went to see after he met me. however, he didn’t think of getting serious with her or making a relation. also, the girl told him that they can go out and have fun but he shouldn’t mention anything to her about commitment or marriage coz she wanted to have fun. now he is saying that his relation with this girl caused him some relief that benefited his relation with me. and he wants to continue seeing the girl( going out, talking sometimes on phone, sometimes texting for 4-5 hrs in weekends, seeing her often) while at the same time being with me and considering me the marriage material. he says that while dealing with her, he realizes that he loves me more and that i am totally different. he says this can benefit our relationship. i refused totally though he tried to convince me and he said he is very interested to proceed with the other girl. we hang up the phone and he texted me saying..” hey i forgot to tell u i love u and i don’t love anyone else”. i told him “i love u too, but the idea u talked about is so hurtful.” this is the last thing that happened. now i don’t know what to do? am i right to refuse this arrangement? or should i accept and show him the new me till he leaves her?
Hanna

December 5, 2017 at 9:36 pm

Hi Chris,

My ex and I were in a very serious relationship for 15 months. To the point where we were making solid plans for the future together like investing and taking up post grads. We’re both 21 at this point and he started working about 3-4 months ago at a job I helped him get thru a friend who offered the position to me first. Anyway in the last few months of our relationship things got strained because we went from being together everyday to as little as once a week. What’s more I started noticing that even if he was making serious plans with me he kept wanting to draw closer to his girl friends. Mind you he has a lot of them. And he started texting this new girl at work (let’s call her Becky) a lot and I didn’t like that at all. I made it clear to him that I wasn’t okay with him not having boundaries with his girl friends but the more we kept going back to the issue the more toxic I turned out to be to him. Second I didn’t like how he kept wanting to go out with his office friends especially in lieu of the time we’d spend together. He’d invite me to join them but most of the time I just wanted to spend time with him after missing him all week. Fast forward to a week before he was supposed to get his knee operated on. He was planning to have a party that friday cause he’d be missing out on hanging out with his work friends but he’d still be going to work which was excessive for me. Then he had a couple of absences prior to that week so he was supposed to go overtime at work except he decided to cut it to go karaokeing with his friends. On top of that we were waiting for the results of his psychometrician board exam. I was busy with family stuff so I couldn’t go with him again but I raised that I wasn’t okay with how it seemed he was obsessed with going out with his friends so much but deep down I wasn’t okay with him hanging out with that Becky too. He took it wrong and ignored me the whole night. The next morning I check his results to see he passed but he never told me and instead celebrated it with his friends even posting on social media that he wouldn’t have known about it if it wasn’t for one of his girl best friends calling him that night. So I felt isolated. And I blocked him and told him it would be better if we broke things off. We decided to talk things thru first that coming friday but I found out from my mom that he had been ranting to her about me and saying that if I didn’t trust him we were really going to break up. It seemed like he was already decided so I told him it would be best we didn’t meet up anymore. But I was devastated. I tried to talk to him again but he just avoided me and pushed me away. A few days after when things slightly cooled down I visited him and took care of him at the hospital before his operation and we were okay. We planned on ending things as friends. In fact we admitted we still loved each other very much. But it turns out I stumbled upon his messages with Becky and one of his girl best friends and found out that he cheated on me and went out that friday and made out with Becky. From there things went horribly. He denied it but I recently found out from my friend who works with him that everyone in their office saw them make out and their boss even confronted him because he’s in HR and isn’t supposed to do that but he insists there was nothing wrong with what he did. He insisted he still loves me and still wants to be friends with me but that he just needed time on his own. Since then I told him I couldn’t be friends with him but I’ve also found from mutual friends that Becky is a pathological liar and an actual scammer. She’s sold numerous fake meet and greet passes for many concerts for money. My mom upon finding out told my ex and his parents about this but it doesn’t seem like it’s bothered my ex at all although his parents were definitely concerned. Since then I haven’t spoken to my ex nor his parents. At this point I’ve kept no contact for 11 days but Idk if I should consider my mom contacting him and his family as a break to the no contact rule. We’re still friends on social media and up until today he still views my ig stories. But today being our ex monthsary I noticed he’s stopped. I’m trying to do the no contact rule but it’s been very hard even trying to keep up with the Holy Trinity because it really seems like my ex is moving forward from me and doesn’t want to do anything with me. He’s really hung up on Becky and hasn’t spoken a word to me since. I still love him very much. He isn’t the first relationship I’ve been in but it’s the most sincere one I’ve had. Deep in my heart I know we belong together. It’s just been hard reconciling that feeling with the reality of what’s going on between us. Any words of advice on the direction I need to take from here would be hugely appreciated.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 8, 2017 at 5:46 pm

Hi Hanna,

If you’re mom is still contacting his family, ask her to stop because that just makes you look like you’re chasing him..

Conflicted

December 1, 2017 at 12:15 am

Hi Amor,

Thank you for your reply “it says a lot on his character.. Rethink about your standards.. If he does it to them, wouldn’t be surprised if he’s going to do it to you..”

I completely agree with you if I only knew this information about him, i would run a mile and go nowhere near him!
However, all of this is completely out of character for him. There are things I don’t want to go into on here but he is in a bad place since our breakup and I’m only beginning to realise/know this now. Also, most likely the reason for our breakup too.

The OW is not someone he would ever “normally” be with… She’s a lot older, not who he would find attractive etc etc but I feel she is sort of a “sugar mommy” for him. This is why he gets with the other, more his type of women onboard the ship (different one each contract, so not flitting between women onboard).
Not excusing his behaviour AT ALL, just providing some insight.

I think when I see him in a few weeks, I will just lay everything out on the table and just ask him about it. Not sticking to the program but it’s been almost a year and I think I’m entitled to some answers.

Thanks again.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 3, 2017 at 3:24 pm

Yeah, that’s ok to do..I think that would help you decide on what to do next

Conflicted

November 30, 2017 at 9:46 am

I’ve been broken up with my ex since January and have been working the program since.

We were/are LDR and he went straight into another LDR with OW. Who he has technically been with this whole time. He works on a cruise ship, so they have only really spent a month this summer together, whilst he was between contracts.

However, I have recently learnt that he cheated on OW with a girl from the ship from Feb-May. Hooked up with me when we met in July. Then got with a different girl from the ship from Aug to a few weeks ago. The reason they’ve broken up is because she found out about the OW.

He didn’t do anything like this in the 2 years we were together. He isn’t doing this to me now either because we’re not together and he has never mentioned ever being in a relationship with anyone in the whole time we’ve been talking.

But I’m conflicted because on one hand this is all good because it means he’s not in love with any of these women. However, on the other hand I hate who is right now, the man I know and love wouldn’t behave in such a disgusting way, so it’s a turn off.

My question is should I be concerned for these other women and how he’s treating them? I’m doing the being there method and our rapport is good, we’re seeing each other in a few weeks. So it’s all going well but knowing about all this leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 30, 2017 at 8:31 pm

it says a lot on his character.. Rethink about your standards.. If he does it to them, wouldn’t be surprised if he’s going to do it to you..

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