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1,756 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Letting You Go”

  1. Avatar

    Lee

    May 12, 2018 at 4:13 pm

    Hi Chris! I would Love some insight on a situation I am currently experiencing. So 3 months ago I was in Argentina as a Missionary and I let this guy. He had a girl friend at the time but was always very kind and friendly to me. I came back home around 2 1/2 months ago and decided to message him on facebook. He told me had recently broken up with his girl friend and We started messaging everyday. I began to notice he would say very Sweet things and 2 weeks later We admitted We liked each other. We started talking about everything And anything. We switched to Whatsapp where he said he wanted to Call me. We spoke and it was great. But as time progressed I realized I was starting to really like him but I wanted with me. And I started to have heartaches. Well the last 3 weeks our communication started to become less frequent because the time difference and work And We both said We missed each other. Last week We tried harder but something was off. For my b-day he posted a picture of us on his instagram story and he was being especially flirty and sweet. That was this Sunday. he also was going to Call me that night but at the send did not because he had stayed up with friends later than planned. He did not message me Monday and I reached out that night he did replied Tuesday and then Wednesday nothing. I felt him pulling away so Thursday I sent him an audio saying that I really liked him abd felt like We had a connection but I felt like he was not investing in me and that I had things to do and that he always blamed it on work but that was not always true. That I would Love to keep talking to him but I felt like it would be better to stop talking. Then I thanked him for everything etc. He then replied saying he was thinking the same thing. that the distance was killing him and he wanted to be with me in Person looking me in the eyes and talking. He told me he truly was busier ( he is working All the time because he is saving to move to study here in the states) but that We would of course see each other when he came. I had sent him a letter a while back and just by chance it arrived the same day. I regretted saying that and I realized I did want to continúe talking, I just had not thought he would let me go. I stupidly replied saying I was hoping he would say something along the línes that I was crazy and that we should keep talking and that I never thought he would let me go so easily. I now realize that was a dumb move on my.part. my question is will he miss me? will he try to contact me again? did I blow it with the last message?
    he is coming to my college in December (6 1/2months) do you think I still have chance?
    I sent him One last audio last night apologizing saying I has bien sad and upset because my brother had left and I had come from an emotional place. I told him I hoped to still be around when he came.
    Chris will he ever come back?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 12, 2018 at 11:23 pm

      Hi Lee…Long distance relationships are hard aren’t they? Your situation is not hopeless, but you should be prepared emotionally for the possibility that it won’t work out. Forget about any mistakes in communications you think you may have made. Right now you should focus on the things you can control and that includes experiencing some healing for some of the heartache you have suffered. For now, it might be wise to just give the whole matter some space, otherwise he may thing your are desperate for his attention and that is not how you want to be perceived. You want to come into a relationship from a position of value and emotional balance. I know you are going through rough times. But you will get through this! If you are looking for some ongoing, directed help, consider my ebook Ex Recovery Pro. It covers a wide range of topics related to the ex recovery scene. Just click on my website’s menu and check out the “Products” Page to learn more

    2. Avatar

      Lee

      May 13, 2018 at 2:49 pm

      So he replied saying that it was the decisión I made that he needs to respect it. So thank you so much. I will do just that.
      Should I ever message him later in the Future or just wait until he gets here to reach out?

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 13, 2018 at 3:31 pm

      December is a good ways off. Perhaps after 45-60 days you drop him a brief text just saying you hope all is well with him.

  2. Avatar

    Marian p

    May 11, 2018 at 7:15 am

    I have a huge situation i need help with. My ex and I have been on and off for 2 years. Living with him, moving back home… Its been crazy
    Either he would come bAck or I would. As soon as i believed we were done for good I found out i was pregnant with his first child which was heart wrenching because he was just 2 years out of a 13 year marriage where his wife cheated while he was deployed multiple times and convinced him he couldn’t have children because she was taking birth control behind his back and only had a child already from a previous marriage she had. Anyway we got back together while i was pregnant to work on our relationship except i found he was cheating on me the entire time by pictures and texts in his phone. I broke up with him when i was 7 months pregnant and moved out his house again. Fast forward i have tried the nc but couldn’t follow through because of our child and my feelings for him. We got in a huge argument two days ago a d he said hes not marrying me, he loves me but its not stronv enouvh to be with me but He has now been deployed again and will be gone for a year and has called me sayinv how much he loves and missss me and our child and how he is sordy for leaving me alone to raise our child. But he hasnt asked me to work on us getting back together. I am so confused and hurt. Please help me

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 11, 2018 at 3:00 pm

      Hi Marian…I know it hurts to feel rejected over and over again. Neither of us really knows the future as it pertains to the vitality of this relationship. You are getting plenty of mixed messages and that makes it hard. Since you have a child together, it makes sense that you both work towards having some kind of positive relationship together, with a commitment. But that may not get resolved while he is deployed. And you know he has not been trustworthy and reliable in the past. Take this time while he is away to focus on your needs and recovery. Understandably, your thoughts are jumbled up right now. But as you experience some healing, your feelings will crystallize and you can decide if you really want a future with him and how much more you want to invest into this relationship.

  3. Avatar

    joy AN

    May 10, 2018 at 2:07 pm

    hi chris, me and my boyfriend we have been dating for over 3yrs now but he broke up with me 6 months ago. we love each other so much even the day before he called off the relationship we were together , he told me that future will be great for us and after that day he called me on phone and ended the relationship but we use to chat on social media.i dont know if i apply 30 daysno contact rule whether is going to work out for me i still love him somuch. is 6 months too far for us to come back together. thanks waiting for your reply.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 10, 2018 at 3:58 pm

      Hi Joy…everybody’s situation is unique and while a 6 month break is a good spell, it is not unusually long. I know it can seem that everything is going against you. But the good news is that you need not try to figure all this out by yourself. I wrote an excellent ebook that has helped scores of people. Simply go to my website’s Menu Section and click on the link for “Products”. There is still hope if you can come up to speed on the best strategies to employ. If you have not tried NC before, then I think it should and remember, part of rebuilding attraction and value is to focus on being the best “you”.

  4. Avatar

    Len

    May 9, 2018 at 3:23 pm

    Hey Chris, my boyfriend of one year and I broke up four days ago in a really bad fight where we threw out that we both didn’t know how to take care of each other emotionally properly. It was very messy and it cut deep for the both of us. I called him a few times right after we hung up and sent him an email apologizing for my side of the story, and he responded three days later saying he cares about me a lot and it hurts him that I have my heartbroken and that he wants to talk tonight. We’ve been fighting on and off for the past few months because ldr has it’s challenges, but I’ve also been depressed since I moved to Paris (from the US. and he lives in Ireland). Should I initiate the 30 days of NC now or should I see what he has to say tonight? Is even responding a good idea?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 10, 2018 at 1:24 am

      Hi Len! I am sorry you had a messy breakup. Those kind hurt a lot. Some make sure you are spending some quality time with your own healing needs and self recovery activities. Check in with him tonight to get a sense of what his thinking is before you make any decisions. Let me know how it goes.

  5. Avatar

    Breana

    May 7, 2018 at 7:41 pm

    My long distance boyfriend broke up with me a few months ago. He insisted we stay “friends” but hes never initiated contact with me. I broke NC a few times but now am on day 17 and he’s home for a few weeks. Should i break NC early before he leaves again? Maybe just do 21 days?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 7, 2018 at 10:15 pm

      HI Breana….you do have my ebook (Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro), right! If not, go check it out (website Menu/products link) as it is full of information such as this situation that can help raise your chances. I was involved in a LDR and I now it can be hard, but there are some things you can do to better your chances. Yes, do 21 days and reach out to him with one of the text messages I recommend in my ebooks. Let me know Breana how this shakes out for you!

    2. Avatar

      Breana

      May 7, 2018 at 10:41 pm

      I’m really hurt by the face that he told everyone he was home except me. It makes me think he doesn’t want to her from me at all.

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 7, 2018 at 10:52 pm

      It could be a passive aggressive way of shutting you out. Breakups are seldom cut and dry. Remember, after a breakup..people are usually divided. One part of them regrets what happens and still wants to find a way to make it work out. Another part may hold on to some resentments, causing people to say and do things they don’t really mean or come to regret later. Also, people are sometimes afraid about things. They don’t know what to do…so they do nothing. Maybe he was not sure if you wanted to know he was coming into town, because secretly he was afraid of being rejected. Or maybe he just isn’t sure what is the right thing to do.
      So I know these little rejections can pile up and hurt when you feel left out, but focus not on such matter. Focus on things you can control and dwell on those things that make you happy in order to facilitate your own recovery.

    4. Avatar

      Breana

      May 8, 2018 at 3:21 pm

      Last night was day 17 of no contact. He actually contacted my friend to ask how a concert was that we went to together. Four hours later he messaged me the same thing. Neither of us responded yet.

    5. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 8, 2018 at 4:47 pm

      It his way of keeping tabs on you. Maybe you get your friend to respond that you both had a great time, but that you still have sadness in you (kinda play on his empathy angle)

    6. Avatar

      Breana

      May 8, 2018 at 4:52 pm

      Should I answer him as well?

    7. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 9, 2018 at 3:37 am

      Hey there Breana…No…just let your friend handle the communications. It keeps your value higher.

  6. Avatar

    liz

    May 6, 2018 at 12:06 pm

    5 days ago my boyfriend broke up with me, he texted me later that day to explain more his feelings, and our friend told me that he felt really really bad that day after breaking up with me and wanted to text me to clarify. the next day he texted me again and said that he cant tell whether he made a mistake or not and that he thought a lot about me, then he said although hes sad now, he feels that if we got back together, he would go back to feeling the way he did right before he broke up with me, so he still felt we should go separate ways. 2 days ago he told me that he lost feelings for me and doesnt want it to be awkward between us and wants us to stay friends. we were supposed to meet in person, but instead We facetimed yesterday and i explained to him my feelings so i could just let everything out (i told him that im not trying to change his mind and that its just hard for me because i still have feelings for him etc). During the facetime it seemed as though he was a little jittery and i saw him from the corner of my fix his hair and when i would look at him he would look at me and then either i or him would look away. afterwards he texted my friend that me and him just facetimed and that it ended on good terms. I facetimed her and told her about the facetime and she told me that i looked rly pretty right now and i was like rly?! I was just facetiming him like this, and i was holding myself together while facetiming him, even tho i teared uo a little. She then told me that i did a good job and that he def would think i looked pretty. Im satisfied with the facetime because im hoping hes thimking about what i said and how good i looked, but im not sure he is and ugh.
    at first when he broke up with me i thought he didnt know what he wanted but when he told me he lost feelings for me it made me really sad cuz i want to be with him. He was annoyed earlier during the week and he told me on facetime that he wasnt annoyed or angry with me, he was just annoyed with others for getting involved (since everyone tried to talk to him about it but he never wantsd to talk about it and always changed the subject). I texted his best friend and he didnt even know what was going on because my ex didnt even talk to HIM about it. He only talked to one person about it a little bit. The day Before we facetimed, he told my friend that he didnt want the break up to drag on anymore, and that he didnt/couldnt say it to my face (for like the second time since when he broke up with me he was tearing up a ton and could barely look at me). After we facetimed he seemed pretty satisfied especially since he texted my friend, so im hoping he thinks about what i said and realizes he misses me. Him breaking up with me was so sudden and surprising, no one expected it cause our relationship was so so good and we always had an amazing time together and we were open and honest with each other. He was tearing up a lot the day he broke up wity me (5 days ago) and he couldnt even look at me while he was talking. Im not sure what to do now but i really want him back ;(

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 6, 2018 at 2:54 pm

      Hi Liz….let a little time go by…a little space.

    2. Avatar

      liz

      May 6, 2018 at 3:14 pm

      My friend told me to try to make him jealous but idk. Do i act like im ok? Cuz i want him to see that he actually does like me this is hard for me to handle and i dont wanna act crazy

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 6, 2018 at 9:06 pm

      Sure Liz…just be yourself and be happy.

  7. Avatar

    Sanya

    May 4, 2018 at 4:50 pm

    My boyfriend and I broke up for the second time a week ago (on/off for about 8 months) and I have never felt more broken. We were great together, but for the past month we had been having a rough patch, random arguments, not much sex etc. I wanted to sit and work through those problems after finals cause were both in college and need to focus on our grades, but about a week before those finals started we had another argument and that was the last straw for him and he wanted out. Three days after that, we talked and he said that even though he did have feelings for me he didn’t want to work it out cause it was too hard and he “didn’t need anybody in his life, and doesn’t want anyone eithef”. This conversation was a week ago and I have been in no contact since. He hasn’t reached out to me or even come online on the app we used to talk on (I can check). Do you think this was just a phase or are we really done for good?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 4, 2018 at 9:25 pm

      Hey there Sanya…stay in the NC period. Be sure you are up to speed on all the tactics you can employ during NC and after. If you haven’t picked up a copy of my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”, you really should as it is of epic length and has some winning strategies (go to my website Menu/Products link for more info!). Give it some time. I am not convinced its all over. He seems to be stressing and I doubt he is in touch with all his feelings. Let me know how things go for you Sanya!

    2. Avatar

      Sanya

      May 6, 2018 at 10:17 pm

      Hi Chris, thanks for responding. I’m still in NC and it’s harder than ever. I’ll do it for 30 days, but I’m at a point where I’m not sure if I want him back, or just want him to want me back if that makes sense

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 7, 2018 at 12:52 am

      Hi Sanya…that is what NC is for. Its for you to balance out to your emotions and feelings and draw closer to what is best for yourself

  8. Avatar

    Keeley

    May 4, 2018 at 2:44 am

    My ex and I were together for a little over a year, we had discussed moving in and he kept bringing up marriage. We didn’t fight much, at all. We were able to talk about most of the things and come to a mutual understanding. Well, I thought he was cheating on me and I ended it. We talked a few days later and I decided that I was wrong and I trying to undo the breakup. But he wanted to stay broken up. I agreed to stay friends. We talked every day (he initiated most of the conversations) but we didn’t see each other. Then he disappeared and took down pictures on social media, so I unfriended him and told him I was done. Well, he pushed to stay friends again and I caved (about a month and a half post break up). Again, back to the same type of conversations we had had before, but he wasn’t telling me he missed me anymore. Conversation slowed a bit. Then he picked it back up (this is at two months). He kept making plans with me then having to reschedule because of work. Then he just totally blew me off. I didn’t talk to him for a week. He talked me into talking to him again and I did. He finally kept a date and we had a blast. Well, I slipped and got a little too drunk and slept with him. He stayed the night and told me he had missed me and he loved me that night. The next time we hung out, he talked about getting back together and hinting at marriage again. Well, we hooked up again. He and I were going to hang out again the next night before he left for a vacation and a week of training (gone a total of two weeks). Well, he ended up being busy until late that night and I told him I wasn’t interested in going out because it was late. He suggested he come over and hang out because he really wanted to see me before he left. He came over and I told him it was more of a booty call time and he told me he knew I would think that so he wasn’t going to sleep with me because I was more than that. We didn’t sleep together and again discussed getting back together. Durning the time I didn’t see him, I lost 20lbs, moved from a house I hated to a cute apartment I love, started getting my nails done again, and enrolled in college. We texted the whole time he was traveling and he readded me on FB, until he was no longer able to talk because he was out of the country. I sent him a text a few days after he said he’d be back, then again a few days later (the second set of texts were kinda pissy). I noticed that he had been on FB messenger so I called him out on it. He finally replied with he was alive. There were like 6 texts back and forth, then he out of the blue told me that he had decided he was going to pursue another relationship and we couldn’t be friends. He unfriended me on FB, but is still following me on IG. I thanked him for being honest and asked him to return my stuff when he got back. I told him that we had had a great time and I would be willing to try again if I wasn’t seeing someone if what he was pursuing didn’t work (it is about a week shy of being broken up for 3 months). He told me he hoped I stayed well, I stopped responding. The next morning at 5am he sent a text to me saying he didn’t know why I would want a relationship with him because he was “pretty horrible to me and lied a lot.” I didn’t respond. He posted a generic picture of where he had traveled on IG, (he hasn’t posted anything there in about three months and a friend told me that he hadn’t posted anything on FB. I didn’t ask her to look, she just did.) The following day, he sent me a text about something I had posted about my new gym (a gym he goes to that I joined BEFORE he came back into the country). I waited a few hours and just said yes I joined and I told them he referred me and I was going into class and to have a good night. He responded almost immediately that I needed to expect to see him there with another woman and he hoped there wouldn’t be problems. There are two branches of the gym, he didn’t ask which one I joined, I did not respond. So, now that there is background (sorry this is sooo long), will going no contact still work? Is there anything I can do? Why is he being so cruel now? Why does he keep telling me there is another woman? Why does he keep trying to contact me after he said he didn’t want to be friends?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 4, 2018 at 3:01 am

      Hi Keely….wow…that is an amazing story. Thanks for sharing it with me! A lot of stuff going on here, but also some basic things happening. He isn’t sure what he wants and perhaps in a rebound and you are trying to figure out if he is worth the effort. First of all, kudos to you for some of the things you have done to build greater value in yourself and self belief. That goes a long, long ways because who really knows whether this is someone you really want to get serious with. That story is still being written. I suspect he has some guilt and uncertainty about his decisions. Have you picked up a copy of my ebook. “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”, because if not, go check it out as it is epic in length and full of advice and tactics to improve your chances if you feel later if he is worth it. Just visit my website Menu/products section and take a look around. I do think NC will work in this case and I think you should let him know that is what you intend to do, not to hurt/punish him, but rather you need to focus on yourself…becoming the best version of yourself and to work thru some of the conflicted feelings of what has happened between he and you. Feel free to drop in and let me know how things go for you!

    2. Avatar

      Keeley

      May 4, 2018 at 3:42 am

      It is actually pretty obvious that he was seeing us both at the same time. Including the break up time, we have been involved for 18 months. Why would he tell me several times about the new woman and do it in a relatively cruel manner? When we were hanging out after the break up, I casually mentioned having been on a date. He called me later and told me I shouldn’t be talking about stuff like that to him and scolded me for like 10 minutes about talking about other men to him, then I find out that he is already involved with someone else while kinda still pursuing me. On the weight loss, I am already fairly small (150 down to 129 at a little over 5 feet tall size 8 down to size 4). He kept telling how good I looked when he saw me. Why is he being so cold without any warning or anything but good, fun conversations? He even sent me a funny card from the airport before he left and he did tell me he was going to miss me.

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 4, 2018 at 4:04 am

      Yeah…I gotta think he has mixed thoughts on what he wants. Kinda torn. So it reveals itself in his Jeckyl/Hide personality. It doesn’t excuse his betrayal,if that is what he did. And he really isn’t in any position to scold you consider his behavior. Perhaps he has an insecure attachment style. Time will tell how things progress with this other woman. But you shouldn’t tie yourself to your ex emotionally. Just keep pushing forward living your own life, seeking that most fulfilling relationships that matter to you.

    4. Avatar

      Keeley

      May 5, 2018 at 2:55 am

      I ignored his text about seeing him at the gym with another woman. He texted me again tonight (the question about seeing him at the gym was last night) simply saying “well?” I still haven’t responded and I don’t plan to. I have never been a drama queen and for the most part, always kept our fights away from anyone else. There is literally zero reasons to think I would create issues if I saw him. I’m not giving up on me, but he seems to have found a reason to text me about something everyday since he “cut” me out of his life. I have kept my online presence silent, because I’m working on myself, for myself. I haven’t paused my life or stopped hanging out with friends and family. I actually probably do that more than I did when we were together. I do want him back, we were very good together. Other couples always wanted us to do things with them because we were so full of laughter and fun. All of his friends were expecting us to get married. We were best friends. I am buying your book tomorrow.

    5. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 5, 2018 at 3:55 am

      It seems Keeley you are an emotional “stronger” person than he. He may be a bit dependent on you in some ways.

    6. Avatar

      Kelley

      May 9, 2018 at 2:20 pm

      I haven’t responded to anything he sent. I had emergency surgery yesterday and he texted me to see if everything was ok. Am I allowed to break no contact to say something like “Emergency surgery is always fun! But they are giving me plenty of jello! So, really I am kinda winning at life right now!” Something upbeat and not really informative?

    7. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 10, 2018 at 1:26 am

      Hi Kelley…i sure hope your are feeling better from your surgery. Please get better soon! Definitely feel free to let him know your condition and yes…keep it upbeat and short.

    8. Avatar

      Keeley

      May 11, 2018 at 4:51 pm

      So I answered his texts, in a light, upbeat way. He kept dragging out the conversation. I just stopped responding. He texted again that night to ask if I was ok. I was already asleep and didn’t answer. The next morning he asked again. I answered and gave a few quick facts about the surgery. I asked him about returning my stuff and I also slipped in that I had used the surgery to quit smoking. He told me he was happy I quit and it was one of the reasons he didn’t want to keep dating. I just responded with a reminder to drop off my stuff and have a good life. He was texted back that he was sure he’d see at the gym. I didn’t respond. I kept emotions out of the conversation and was light and upbeat. I just don’t know what to think. He tells me he doesn’t want to be a part of my life, but when I abide by that. He checks on me and tells me he will see me soon. He just has me so confused

    9. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 11, 2018 at 9:36 pm

      Yes, it is confusing and his actions maybe be simply mirroring his thoughts in his mind. But there comes a time where if he can’t demonstrate a clear commitment to the relationship then it is not worth even responding anymore as it takes a slow toll on you and that’s not fair.

    10. Avatar

      Keeley

      May 5, 2018 at 11:10 am

      How does this play into us getting back together? Especially knowing he is already concerned with another woman.

    11. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 5, 2018 at 11:42 pm

      Hi again Keeley. It may or may not happen. Neither of know the future. The pragmatic thing to do is to be forward looking, not counting on him and leaving him to his own decision to take up with this other woman. So you can simply ignore his efforts to communicate with you if he is still with this person or you can keep the communication lines open. If you do the former, then let him know that you choose not to be responsive to his efforts to communicate given the complications of him being involved with another woman as it only complicates your life.

  9. Avatar

    Ann

    May 3, 2018 at 1:24 pm

    Hello, . I know it’s too long but I will try to explain briefly as much as possible it took me months to decide to post this here.I’ve been reading on here since August, right after I broke up with my ex actually I wanted a break because the last month we
    started to have a lot of fights and the fights
    were because he lies a lot but his lies were to avoid fights and arguments and I’m a very honest straight forward person and if he said the truth I wouldn’t be angry or fight but it was in his mind, because of his experience with girls, so I was very stressed and hurt, and I left him a long message telling him all his mistakes and how he has to change for himself not for me and that he’s a good man but I need to stay away, so he agreed after so many times of not letting me go because as the beginning of the relation I was scared and I didn’t want it and he was insisting on keeping me till I fell derply in love with him, but lately I needed a break but he was stressed like me and he wanted to break up and he told me he never got so much love as he got from me and he will set me free of his craziness and thar his love for me was real..I felt terrible and I tried to explain to him that I needed a breakhe insisted he said he needs to breath, but when I knew he immediately dated another girl I tried to text him again he said that it hurts to talk now and we can just be friends or he’s gonna be rude, and he’ll never get back to me, which I’ve read about here..I went through bad depression I started to read here and watch chris videos and other videos, they helped me a lot and everything I felt like being stabbed in the back not eating and all these kind of things were written here , I made a trip to Europe while feeling terrible I startd to
    post my pictures showing that im happy and having fun, in November I went back home talked with his friend which is my friend too he supported me when I was feeling terrible, and his friend told me that the girls I was warning my ex about and he didn’t listen to me, caused them troubles and that I was right, I finally opened my whatsapp I found a message from him like 2 months after pur break up I replied and we started texting, I told him that I moved on and that I’ve a boy friend and that I would never get back to him, I started to see my friends again and one day I invited his friend with other friends, my ex came with him and I didn’t know what to do, I went to swim he came after me said welcome back, I answered and I avoided him I couldn’t be friendly after all the pain I’ve been through, and that turned him off and I’m sure that at this time we were to get back together immediately I saw it in his eyes but I couldn’t, whenever we met with friends again I saw him staring at me, I started to text him we’ve been texting since November now I started to flirt after I created rapport then when he got excited he blocked me for the first time I understood that he was scared of his feelings I couldn’t ignore it I called him he unblocked me but blocked me again it was very childish but I understood his feelings, a week later I called he unblocked me we started to flirt again and joke and laugh, then he told me to have sex with him and be fwb then he blocked me again, I gave him sometime then I contacted him again to talk about things about work he unblocked me again tgen blocked me, I once visited him suddenly he was very happy he wanted to touch me I avoided it and I left early, a week later I called him he sounded surprised but he unblocked me and stopped blocking me for long time then once he was telling me mu girl and had a date with me which he called it a date and wanted to have sex when we met, I refused he said I had sexual dreams about him which means I want it, I said if I have a desire or dreams doesn’t mean I will do them, a week later he saw me he avoided me I understood he was angry, I texted him again we met we kissed I left early 2 days later he sent me a why text I asked whu what he said you are a smart girl you understand, so I thought maybe why we kissed I told him maybe because we werr drunk, we planned twice to go out with friends he ignored it and didn’t say a word I understood from what I learned from reading on here it’s because of fear so I didn’t blame him I wasn’t angry, we met again few days ago It was going to be short cos it was akready late, he kept me we kissed he said he misses me, I asked him if he loves me he said he never loved anyone as much as he loved me, I didn’t want to have sex because I learned from what I read here it ruins our chances, but we slept next to eachother he was going to sleep after I resisted, then i told him to hold me he couldn’t resist we did things but I stopped him I didnt let him finish , in the morning he tried after I got ready to leave we kissed a little he was so excited, I wished him a good day and left, tgat day in the evening I thanked him for the good time he didn’t answer and he blocked me then he sent me an angry text that I woke him to excite him and leave him to revenge, which isn’t true I didn’t wake him up, it was the phone and the alarm, then he sent me a bad text about something else which is a misunderstanding about something else after I explained to him he said sorry it’s not ypur fault and don’t reach out to me again, I said of course I will never reach out after your bad words and thinking bad of me. I forgot to say that while were laying together in bed we discussed the issues we had and I told him we both made mistakes and he said he didn’t want this to end, and that he was lately avoiding me because he was afraid to get attracted to me again which I already understood. Now he unblocked me but I kept him blocked what should I do next? Thanks for the good work and the priceless information chris and everyone on this sit is helping me a lot without knowing me..

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 3, 2018 at 2:01 pm

      Hi Anne! I am glad you finally posted here. Its good to get things off your mind and if I could suggest, I think you should keep a journal if you are not already as expressing your thoughts and focusing on things you want to do in the future can be very therapeutic. There is obviously a lot going on here. Have you picked up a copy of my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” yet? If not, take a look at it because it should prove helpful given it offers a blueprint on how to improve your chances. This off/on nature of relationships is not unusual and it can whip saw us around emotionally and confuse us to how to proceed. I think NC is in order, but let him know why you are doing it. Be upfront. He may be resentful at first, but eventually he will realize you are not trying to punish him, but rather focus on self improvement and healing. And he should do the same. This might help the relationship, if you decide to continue, get a fresh start in the future. Another suggestion is consider joining my Private Facebook Support Group Community (about 1500 women now in it). I do weekly live webcast and there is a great deal of synergy with the like minded ladies…a lot of support and idea sharing. Let me know how things go for your Anne

    2. Avatar

      Ann

      May 3, 2018 at 2:24 pm

      Thanks Chris, I’m already healed and I keep on improving myself I explained to him with evidence that I’m not punishing him, I will do NC for a week and I will slowly contact again, or do I not contact till he starts as he told me not to reach put again which he never said before? Do I unblock him as he already did unblocked me after I explained, and wait till he starts.. I love him and I know he does but he’s scared..

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 3, 2018 at 2:28 pm

      Do things in little steps. Yes, unblock him. Its a positive reciprocal gesture. I agree, people can say things they don’t really mean or think differently about it later. It’s OK to initiate first contact. Follow my advice in my ebooks and posts on how you might want to proceed with that.

  10. Avatar

    Ella

    May 2, 2018 at 10:51 pm

    After months building rapport, my ex told me that he has moved on, that he only wanted fun, not complications (“too much drama in my life already”), texting sometimes and admitted he was still very attracted to me but not wanted a relationship (I guess that distance affects too, big complication for him, hates LDR and at this moment he is living across the country). I went NC an played UG. Day 31 he texted more affectionate than ever, told me that he always felt happier when I texted him, since we met… He asked me for a video for seeing my face “like if you were here”. We texted for two hours (never that long since the break up) and he was calling me pet names and sending kisses. I was more distant because the previous conversation has hurted me. I was nice but not affectionate. After that I didn’t initiate, I needed him to text me again. We used to have a balance initiating but the two months before that awful conversation it was almost always me and sometimes he answered in 10 minutes and another times he didn’t read me in a week. So my fear doesn’t let me text him, I need him to initiate. But he didn’t. It’s been almost 5 weeks, we’ve never spent so much time without texting each other. I am scared and sad. I miss him but…I am afraid he doesn’t want to talk, he isn’t initiating so… (I know it was him the last time but still…). I keep playing UG and keeping my social media game up. But his postings during the last month… Well, my best friend (not the kind of person who tells you what you want to hear) says that his posts scream “text me!”, that he’s mirroring my postings (yes, he kinda is) and trying to make me jealous. I don’t know what to believe, I am scared he moved on for good, met another girl or just “erased” me from his mind completely. These days we could be talking about a common interest which is in the news but he isn’t texting me about it, he talks about it in social media and with other people but not with me. So I understand that he doesn’t want…my friend says that he is waiting for me to text him but, as I said, I am scared and don’t dare to text him (even if I miss him like crazy) because I am afraid he ignores me or something…And I would need a first text, not a response. I don’t know what to do

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 2, 2018 at 11:43 pm

      Hello Ella…thanks for dropping by. Yes, there are a lot of things going on with your situation. He does seem testing, then pulling back. It seems there may be some immaturity there with him. Wants everything his way. You picked up my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro”, right? If not, go take a look at it (found at my website Menu/Products link). It is filled with so much information and is very expansive. Serves as a blueprint to help you with all these kind of things. So don’t throw in the towel. You need a concerted plan you can follow and implement to optimize your chances, and Pro can point you that way!

  11. Avatar

    Aishwaryaa

    April 17, 2018 at 11:22 am

    Hi there Chris , my ex and I have broke up about 2’weeks ago , he saw a message between a girlfriend and I and took the text out of context and made assumptions saying I cheated on him , I begged for him back , anyways after a weeks someone asked me if I cheated on his , so I sent him a lengthy message in regards with how could he do that …. he said he did not and blocked me of what’s app and depleted all my pics of facebook and unfriended me .. We have been together for three years I am not taking this too well any advice on what to do

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 17, 2018 at 11:22 pm

      Hi Aishwaryaa….take a look at some of my ebooks here on the site. I go in to much greater detail there, than I can here. Being together for 3 years is big plus. I would seem that utilizing No Contact principle in your situation would merit results. You need a comprehensive plan as it will help improve your chances.

  12. Avatar

    LM

    March 30, 2018 at 10:44 am

    Hi EBR Team!

    I could really use some advice about my recent break up, I have been on your site for a little while and found the articles so helpful. This is going to be pretty long so apologies! My break up happened just over a month ago, I lived with my boyfriend of 3 years. We were talking about buying a house since before Christmas, and getting engaged did crop up in conversation – he had also told my best friend how he would propose.

    The break up came completely out of the blue for me, we had set up a joint bank account that week, and had gone out with his family for his sisters birthday the night before. He got a message to go out with work friends after, so he took me back and then went out and left me. Obviously I was annoyed and wasn’t invited to go with him. He came back early hours of the morning and was sighing etc. When we woke up the next morning before work, he told me he needed to speak to me after work, but I said he may as well tell me now. He said he had lost feelings for me in the last few days and didn’t love me in that way anymore, he didn’t want to buy a house or marry me, he had started to see me as more of a friend. Understandably I was devastated, he was crying and visibly upset, and said he still cared a lot about me.

    Following that I returned back home to my family, where he messaged my mum to say he couldn’t continue with it feeling how he did, it wasn’t fair, and I would one day settle with someone and all this pain would have been worth it, he can’t offer me what I want anymore. I totally broke the rules and messaged him just ‘Goodnight’ and he responded with ‘I’m so sorry but it’s the best and right decision’. When my mum questioned how he could lose feelings in just ‘a few days’ he denied saying that and said he’d felt like this for a little while and like our relationship was on life support.

    I decided I couldn’t go back to live where we had lived together, so my mum communicated with him about the house. When I went to get my first lot of stuff he had already contacted the letting agent to start the process of me coming off the tenancy, everything was so cold and quick. My family went to pick up the last of my stuff and dropped off a letter I had written explaining how I felt, as I had not had the opportunity to do so. It was not begging but just to say goodbye and thank him for the good memories. He didn’t acknowledge the letter until I messaged him asking if I could call him to talk about everything (as I still didn’t feel like I had any answers as to why he felt how he did), he responded with ‘If it will help you then sure, your letter was really nice and I’m really sorry to hear about the tablets’ (I’ve been taking beta blockers since the split as it triggered a lot of anxiety).

    We spoke on the phone and it was bizarre, he was telling me how well he was doing at work, the new furniture he had bought to replace the things I’d taken, how he’s started cooking etc. I asked all the questions I wanted to, when I asked if this was the end for us, or does he ever see us together again, he said not in the forseeable, no, and that he couldn’t answer that. He said he didn’t want a relationship and wanted to forge his own path, and become the best possible version of himself. He said many factors across the board contributed to our breakup (but didn’t clarify them), such as the arguments, me sometimes leaving in tears, the size the apartment -it was too small, towards the end he didn’t find me as attractive- but a big emphasis on as, because I’m very attractive, and he didn’t feel like having sex with me as much. He’s staying in the apartment we shared until he can buy somewhere. He also was off work after we broke up with stress and told me he feels sick when he’s in the apartment now. He told my mum that he would like to be my friend and a friend to the family in the future too. He said he doesn’t want a relationship for the minimum time we were together- again how can you say that?

    So after all this I came across your page! After making a few mistakes I started no contact immediately following the phone call. He did not try and contact me after that, but we did have to go and sign the apartment deed for it to be in his name. We went separately, but when he went to sign his he walked past my work (there is a quicker and easier route another way) and the same on the way back. Immediately after he had signed the deed he transferred over my half of the deposit and froze the joint account.

    He was supposed to be coming on a family trip to Paris for my birthday last week, but obviously didn’t so someone had to replace him. He texted me on my birthday saying ‘Happy Birthday! Hope you’ve had a great day and I hope you’re okay x’, I didn’t respond. His family also messaged me and I responded to them. His parents spoke to him just after the break up and said there is no changing his mind, and didn’t seem too happy about it either.

    Since then he has become friends with a couple of new girls on facebook. He’s changed his relationship status but his Facebook wall is filled with pictures of me and him, him and my family still. He still watches my snapchat stories everytime I post, although his score is always going up so guessing he’s snap chatting someone else. Although he’s not the type to flaunt a new girl publicly on social media.

    I’ve started going to the gym and I’ve booked to start my driving again. I’ve also arranged two nights out over the next two weekends and am posting pictures and positives on my social media. I miss my ex boyfriend, but I don’t know what to do? As the norm I want him to regret it and realise he’s made a big mistake, but I don’t think he will. He’s really changed, and he admits that. He works with people who aren’t that great, they cheat and will stay out all night. I feel like he just wants that lifestyle now. Our phone call ended that we would be amicable, would support one another and only wanted the best for each other. We have broken up before but never like this, and he said this time is different. Any help or advice would be much appreciated on what steps I can take etc. I’ve restarted NC as I replied to his family and not him on my birthday, so it’s at 2 weeks now. Any help would be much appreciated!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 3, 2018 at 2:00 am

      Two weeks into NC now.

      We’ve had pretty great results with social media techniques like posting pictures which I saw that you did. But I’m curious exactly what you are posting. Mind giving me a run down of exactly what you are posting?

    2. Avatar

      L M

      April 5, 2018 at 7:49 am

      Hi Chris!

      On Facebook I have posted pictures of a holiday I went on, and I have also posted pictures of my nights out with friends. I also make sure to snapchat when I’m going to the gym.

      However since I last posted, a girl became friends with him on Facebook, and posted a picture of the two of them together. She had written a caption that said she had the best night of her life, that she knew they would hit it off straight away, and she cant wait to see what happens next. Yesterday, after it had been up for 3 days, he removed the photo and tag from his wall. So I’m not sure if his family have told him to do that as I was quite close to them..

    3. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 5, 2018 at 11:54 pm

      Ah, the other woman…

      The best way to repel other women is to gain a monopoly on his time, also to intimidate her indirectly through social media by being awesome.

    4. Avatar

      L M

      April 6, 2018 at 6:55 am

      Thank you Chris! Do you have any advice on anything else I should be posting?

    5. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 7, 2018 at 4:51 am

      Ok, so I want you to think of things that you and your ex used to do together that he said was “your thing” and make subtle posts about them. It needs to be super subtle but the idea here is to highlight that the new woman isn’t the first to break virgin ground.

    6. Avatar

      L M

      April 7, 2018 at 1:25 pm

      Okay that’s great! I’ll start doing that It’s quite good because his family still like my posts, but he doesn’t seem to be very active on social media lately. But I will give this a go!

    7. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 7, 2018 at 9:49 pm

      You got this!

    8. Avatar

      L M

      April 11, 2018 at 6:58 pm

      Hi Chris,

      So I’ve continued posting actively, however this new girl seems to be doing exactly what you suggested doing. She’s posting them doing the things we did together. However everytime she tags him in any posts, he deletes the tag and removes the post from his wall. Any advice on why this could be and what I can do to make him start feeling regret would be great!

    9. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 11, 2018 at 10:51 pm

      Hey there LM! Sounds like he is trying to maintain some privacy. There is some good advice int my post and if you need some deeper insights, consider taking a look at some of my products that may very well match up with your needs. I cover the whole gambit from tactics, strategies, support systems, and coaching!

    10. Avatar

      L M

      April 25, 2018 at 9:58 pm

      Thanks Chris! I heard from my ex the other day completely out of the blue. He had found something of mine and asked if I was working and he could drop it in if I wanted? Or if not get someone to drop it off at my house. I told him not to worry about it, however the following day he walked past my work. I don’t really understand why as he is still seeing this other girl (he is always on snapchat), but it was also her birthday the day he was offering to drop in? Going to have a look at some of your e-books, but if you could give me some insight into the thinking behind this, that would be great!

    11. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 25, 2018 at 10:46 pm

      Hi again LM! Yeah…I think he is passively exploring your openness or readiness to interact with him. Maybe things are not going so great with his new girlfriend or maybe he is starting to appreciate and value what he had with you. Dealing with breakups is a process and getting in touch with what one really wants mirrors this process.

    12. Avatar

      L M

      April 26, 2018 at 1:43 pm

      Ahh thank you Chris! It’s really great to get your insight on it all. I just feel a bit lost at the moment with it all, and of course just hope at some point he regrets it all, unfortunately he’s stubborn too. I really appreciate your advice on it all!

    13. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      April 26, 2018 at 2:40 pm

      Your welcome LM…just hang in there and if you are looking for any personal coaching, just swing by my Products Page and you can read up on all the services I offer!

    14. Avatar

      L M

      April 8, 2018 at 5:30 pm

      Thanks Chris!

  13. Avatar

    Yazmin Rodriguez

    March 19, 2018 at 9:48 pm

    I have been with ex for a little over three years. We broke up about 2.5 weeks ago. I am currently in the NC time. I haven’t text, called, or facebooked message him. We have a 10 month old daughter. Since he left on March 3rd he hasn’t asked or reached out to me in regards to our baby. Today 3/19 he sent me a facebook message asking if he could come by and pick up the baby. I of course have not responded to the message. Am to be honest I really don’t want to respond to the message. A part of me wants to respond because it has to do with our child together, but another part of me doesn’t want to respond because I’m still real hurt and mad at what he did and said when we broke up and I’m just not ready to talk to him right now. And I also don’t want to jeopardize the NC right now.

    What should you suggest that I do.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 25, 2018 at 4:12 pm

      Hi Yazmin,

      It’s ok to respond during nc if it’s about your child but if you’re not ready, that’s ok too.. Check this one:
      How To Get Your Ex Back When You Have A Child With Them

  14. Avatar

    Bianca Obejero

    March 4, 2018 at 5:49 am

    Hi amor, i know that youre a filipino, also i already purchased the ebr. and im part of the ebr group. you can find me in the group. is it possible for me to contact you since its very hard for me to express my situation in english. please email me or send me a message via messenger.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 8, 2018 at 11:51 am

      Hi Bianca,
      It’s faster for me to reply here since I also get a lot of private messages. You can tell it tagalog here if you want.

  15. Avatar

    Irene

    February 22, 2018 at 9:43 pm

    Hello,
    My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago and we’ve been dating for almost 5 years now. He told me his feelings bagan fading and want to get the college experience. He said he still cares about me though. We go to different colleges but I am planning to transfer to the same college as him. I still love him a lot, I really want him back. But not sure what I’m suppose to do. We still talk to each other everyday but I try to reply him slow. I tried doing the no contact but it is difficult. Please give me some advice! Thank you!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 27, 2018 at 9:41 am

      Hi Irene,

      do you want to try the nc rule?

  16. Avatar

    Cassandra

    February 10, 2018 at 9:52 am

    Hi,me and my boyfriend has been daiting for 3 years and 4 months,now he cheat on me,he doesn’t need me any more,what can i do?i didn’t do anything wrong,i love him

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 15, 2018 at 12:49 pm

      Hi Cassandra,
      DO you want to try the advice above? Check this one too:
      He Cheated On You And You Want Him Back… What Do You Do?

  17. Avatar

    Arya

    February 4, 2018 at 4:22 am

    Hello. So I recently broke up with my ex-boyfriend because I caught him pursuing another girl. The thing is the girl didn’t have any idea he has a gf (she and I have been talking since he did not respond to my messages). So this girl was pissed and refused to talk to him. To add to that, I told him that he is not forgiven for what he had done to me. This happened in a span of one week. So around Friday, I noticed that he has been offline on Messenger for 19 hours. Now it’s been almost two days he’s been offline. His last Facebook post was January 31. It was really odd, because despite of his problems, he is usually on there.

    So I have been wondering, is he starting to regret what he did? Did going offline for days mean he felt guilty/remorseful of what he did? After all, the girl told him not to talk to her (she sent me a screenshot of that conversation). We have a mutual friend and he told me that my ex did open up a little about his situation and said that he felt sad that he and I are over.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 7, 2018 at 1:06 pm

      Hi Arya,

      Can be or he’s just avoiding confrontation..

  18. Avatar

    Toya

    December 6, 2017 at 8:53 pm

    It works!!! My quiz results said I had 46% chance of recovery, but I tried it. I followed the steps and before I could even get through the process of attempting to build attraction via text and phone using the tide theory, he was at my doorstep asking for me back. The problem: I was still hurt from things he had done in the relationship and decided to not continue with him since he was showing signs that he wasn’t going to change. I guess we just weren’t right for each other, but this whole reverse psychology Jedi mind trick is REAL!!!

  19. Avatar

    Brianna

    November 27, 2017 at 7:37 pm

    My ex-boyfriend and I were together for 4 years. We also have had a child together. About a couple times before I had the child, he sometimes took breaks, not of his own volition, but he had to. Well, during those breaks…. he cheated. And this last break when he cheated was about two years ago. He was getting high all the time, and he went back to every single one of his exes and had sex, but one ex. Her name was (let’s call her) Emmy. Well he spent the night with her when he was high, and they had been making out. He told me that there was a chance to have sex with her, but told her that he didn’t want to do anything they would regret. Well I guess things didn’t work out too well for them, because she accused him of slashing her tires. He always led me to believe that he didn’t do it, so I have believed him, but you never know. This ex of his…he was also talking to in the beginning of our relationship, I guess, to rekindle the relationship, but I got into the picture. So from then on, it was me and him. Also, throughout all of this, even when my ex spent the night, this girl would tell him that she had feelings for someone else, and that she probably always would. The guy was named David. So honestly, she was always setting herself up because she was infatuated with another guy. My ex boyfriend is DACA, the Dreamers Act that Obama created for the kids brought here by their parents from Mexico. I bring that up, because DACA was sort of mine and my ex’s downfall. He reapplied to DACA too late, so he would be able to stay here. Well for three to four months, it was the most horrible time. He didn’t have a job anymore, because his job was waiting for him to be approved for DACA from the government. He was just watching Avery, and was depressed. Bills were soaring. We were depending on me for all of the money, and thankfully, we were living with my grandmother at the time for help. I was paying his car bill, paying for food, and all of it just from $10.25 an hour salary. And then, shit got worse. I hit the back of his car into my grandmother’s house, and it messed up the back bumper, and his taillight. My grandmother’s husband kicked me out, so then we really had no place to go, but him back to his father, and me and our child back to my parents. The deductible was 1000 dollars. So that made him stress more. ( I have told him that I will pay for it, because it was a problem I created and if he pays for it, I can pay him back everything.) About that time was when shit hit the fan. He started saying he didn’t want to be in our daughter’s life anymore, because he doesn’t think he and I could financially support her. He says that maybe adoption is the best route for her life. Keep in mind, she is already two. She call me mommy and him daddy. Him and I were looking forward to getting an apartment together. We always talked about getting married, and having more children. Because, he does have a good job, a really good one. So we would be able to afford things with both of our incomes. But…. him not having a job from DACA just pulled him down. When he started saying that he didn’t want our child anymore, he started making me think that he didn’t love me anymore. He just changed. I kept thinking that it was only temporary and that he just trying to isolate himself, because he just didn’t want the stress of our daughter and me looming over his head if he gets deported, or if something worse happens. Well I went to see him once we “broke up”, and he was willing to talk. We hugged and I had a glimmer of hope that things would work out, between him and our daughter. Because, if it couldn’t work out with me and him, I just wanted him to be a part-time parent than none at all. Then, I went to see him again. This time, he wasn’t home, and I spoke to his dad. His dad explained that my ex didn’t want to talk about anything. My ex’s name is Randy. Randy has made it clear that he wants to succeed, and he doesn’t think our daughter would be able to help him succeed. He wants everything to be easy, when it’s not. There will always be bills, stress, problems, financial difficulties, because nothing is ever perfect. We’ve always had big goals, and knew we were going to achieve them. He dances, draws, and likes to stream on youtube. He was just a go-getter, as was I. But when I went to go talk to his dad…. I actually went into his room. I shouldn’t have. I deeply regret it, but if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have known anything. He was always keeping his feelings and thoughts to himself. Well I found my journals that I had given to him. I actually opened them and found him talking about the girl Emmy. I broke. I just couldn’t take it. He had wrote in there that he was wondering if Emmy would ever take him back. I also found two drawings of her inside his art collections. So while all of this was happening, he was thinking about this girl who has not thought about him at all, and has told him to move on with me and his daughter (un-needed story). When he got to his place, he found me. I was angry, but was calm. He just looked at me, and went on to say, “The only reason I was with you was because I didn’t want to be alone.” Once again, he destroyed me and I broke. I actually told him that he was obsessed with her, and he will never be happy if he never moves on from her. At that point, I had already known that I was the best he had ever had. I did. I was always there to wipe his tears, hug him when things weren’t going right, giving love and appreciation, and giving him well good sex, which was also going a little scarce, because he was depressed. And when we did, he didn’t last long. And when he would ask for oral, I wasn’t up to it. We both were just stuck. But… I knew that things were going to get better, and that’s what I was holding myself on. I was waiting for his DACA approval. I was positive. And I really tried to keep him positive. Back to the apartment when he said he just didn’t want to be alone, I realized that nothing I could say would make it better, but worse. I realized to walk out his door was a solution that we both needed. I realized it would take time for him to see that this girl he pines after every time that stuff get tough, she would never, ever have done the things I did for him. Ever. I stuck by his side through thick and thin, and he knows, but just wanted to push me away. When I walked out that door, we didn’t text for two days. And then one night, I found a message on facebook from him, telling me what had been going through his head this whole time. He claimed he didn’t want to hurt me, but knew that I deserved the truth. Well we talked and I actually got drunk, and told him how I’ve been improving by exercising and losing some pounds, which is true( when I moved, I had already started exercising, but didn’t let him know), and I am going back to school (college), and have a job already that I moved to my parents. I’m letting him know that I am improving. I told him to message Emmy as well. I told him he needed closure, because maybe that’s why he has never moved on from her. He could never fully accept his feelings that he genuinely loved me, until this girl had finally given him the reason why she had broken things off with him, time after time. He messaged her, and just told me that he fucked up. And that was it. I realized that I was still his friend, because he had no friends. I told him time and time again to speak to other people for advice, but I still don’t think he has, which is probably why he is talking to me still. I want to do the 30 day no contact rule, but then again, I have a child with him that I know he loves, and will want to see again, but I just don’t know if it will help all three of us. Maybe it would, and I’m just too scared, because then it will feel like everything actually happened. Well today, he wanted me to help him with some errands, and I accepted, knowing he has no one else at the time to help. He has asked me to go eat, but I never really gave it a chance. I would rather help him with important things than just sit there with no purpose of even being with him. I just want him to realize that I appreciate him, and love every single one of his flaws, that another ex couldn’t stand. I loved him for him. I guess I was on here to vent, but at the same time, want to ask will this 30 day rule probably help in mine and his situation? I did talk to him about TedTalk relationship advice and what not, and he has asked if it would help me and him. So there is still a chance. I just want to know the right path to take with him to realize that I was worth it, and Emmy will never be. I’m already being proactive fortunately, and his DACA approval came a couple days ago, so honestly maybe time is all me and him need to get out shit together.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 28, 2017 at 3:58 pm

      Hi Brianna,

      You don’t live together right? Yes, nc rule can help..

  20. Avatar

    Gina F

    November 20, 2017 at 9:53 pm

    Hi! I know you get so many comments, and believe me we all appreciate your help but I am i desperate need of your help. I was dating my ex for 2.5 years, we both were at fault but he ended up cheating, then left that girl and is in a relationship for the last year with someone else. They practically live together but his family doesn’t like her much. We keep in contact and he consistently says he loves me, and wants to be with me. He seems to call me only when she is not in the area, and when she gets back he tells me he just can’t leave. He’s a genuine guy, my family loves him and isn’t a bad person just inbetween time & her? Now i don’t know if i should keep meeting up with him and slowly have him fall in love with me again or end this once and for all even though i really wouldn’t like too. Thanks for your help!!!!

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 23, 2017 at 12:27 am

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