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1,756 thoughts on “How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Letting You Go”

  1. Avatar

    Jill

    May 25, 2019 at 3:56 am

    My ex fiance left me for another woman. Last time I spoke to him it was to let him know that I knew about their affair. I did everything for him and he still left me. Is there even a chance this can be fixed?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 25, 2019 at 10:50 pm

      Hi Jill…it would seem to me a reasonable course of action would be to implement the NC rule. There are many elements to it and benefits as well, both from the personal recovery end as well as exploring possibly coming back together. Though it’s a lot to discuss, hence I put it all down in a resource (EBR PRO Bundle), so give it a look.

  2. Avatar

    Jay R

    April 3, 2019 at 2:56 pm

    Hi Mr. Seiter,

    My boyfriend and I were together for 4 months (long distance). We met several times, took trips, everything was great. I asked him 3 different times to define our relationship and he just kept saying “I’m enjoying getting to know you but I need to spend more time with you in person.” Well after the third time that I asked him to define the relationship, he said he only saw me as a friend. I was devastated, became a texting gnat, cried, begged, etc. I then told him that I cannot be his friend, apologized for my behavior, and went into no contact. I’m 7 days away from completing the no contact. He’s liked 3 of my pictures on Instagram in the past week. I’ve noticed that he hasn’t posted a pic of his face in exactly 4 weeks, and I’ve posted several pics of myself smiling and hanging with friends, doing archery, etc. Is the no contact working on him? Could this be a sign that it’s tough for him to see me being happy after the breakup?

  3. Avatar

    Edwin

    March 8, 2019 at 1:03 am

    Hi Chriss
    My boyfrıend and ı (ım 36 he is 40 )have a long distance relation for over 2 years.we were the happiest couple and making future plans of marriage he cerated everything this november when his job settles.ı also help him with work a lot. 4 weeks ago surprısıngly ı got pregnant and once he learned this he completely changed.ı went to visit him to talk and find a way why he changed this much he was the one planning a family and kids with me.after huge fıghts he pressuring me ı abort my baby. I stayed one more week wıth hım to heal he treat me very badly.ı begged hım cried a lot ı need hım very much ın thıs senstive situation.the times ı was not talking or crying he was holding my hand and be civil with me when ı start crying he starts yelling at me telling ım forcing him. Now ım back 3 days.he texts me lıke everything is normal .ı dont know what is happening.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      March 8, 2019 at 2:37 am

      Hi there…so him yelling is abusive. Maybe you need to take a break for yourself to think about how he is treating you.

  4. Avatar

    Sarah

    February 15, 2019 at 3:29 pm

    Hey Chris,
    Ex of a 1.5 years(I’m 34 he’s 31) and I had a fairy tale romance we met in mexico both on separate vacations. he lives cross country from me. He pursued me, and we started texting/calling etc. eventually I flew to visit him it was incredible. So much love back and forth (many flights over 100k miles). I flew to England to meet his family, he wrote me love letters telling me he wanted me to be his wife etc etc. Anyhow you get the picture, he scrapbooked our life together (no joke including sand from mexico when we met). Anyhow he eventually moved to live with me cross country 6 months later.

    It was good the first few months but he is a big Alpha male and it really bothered him that he was living in my home and I was paying the bills etc. We are very unequal in successes. I am very established in my career and hes a server at a bar. I believe he had a bit of a freak out when he got here but never communicated it I mean he had promised me a life, kids, marriage etc and i feel he felt he couldn’t deliver or be my equal. Though all i ever wanted was him. There was no inequality too much in my eyes cuz he was giving me what I needed emotionally and i’ve never had someone love me so much.

    He was working in a bar and started staying out really late drinking, basically avoiding coming home again no communication with me with what was bothering him. We have always got along so well we never fight. He told me every day he loves me etc.

    But he said he lost attraction to me. Now don’t wanna toot my own horn but i’m like a 9/10 on the hotness scale and super successful. He loved this about me in the beginning (he was sooo proud to show me off I’m talking like hundreds of photos of us on social media) but once things got real i feel he almost self reflected and felt it emasculated him.

    One day he just came home drunk and said “its never gonna change the feeling i have right now.” This was 2 weeks before our vacation fully paid etc. We went on the vacation together but he was very cold and wouldn’t let me get anywhere near him and pushed me away cuz now we are “friends”.

    He moved out when we got home with a 24 year old male roommate at the bar cuz he wants to run away and be “single.”

    I just don’t get it how does someone move cross country, promise kids, marriage etc, send me countless love letters that are SOO deep. Tell me I’m the hottest woman ever in his bed to suddenly(or within a short time) tell me hes no longer attracted to me but still loves me.

    He keeps telling me he “doesn’t want to lose me”.I tried N/C as soon as he was out of the house this last week. He sent a ton of messages basically just trying to talk, “are you ok?”, “I’m sorry i hurt you I wish things could be different”etc etc. I was trying to be strong. He left his laptop at the house and finally asked for it specifically i had to break the N/C told him to use the spare key to get it.

    He called while at the house (i thought he was locked out) so i answered but didn’t want to. He tried talking to me like everything was normal, then he said “I really don’t wan’t to lose you.” i lost it and started crying and had to hang up.

    He insists I’ve done nothing wrong at all (honestly I haven’t changed).

    1) How does someone go from being SOOO hot, heavy, planning a future etc to doing something like this ?

    2) If the attraction was there can I get it back? I really struggle with this one he’s certainly gave me a complex on this as I know I’m attractive and he’s only maybe a 6/10. But I guess I feel like jeeze you say yourself you had something amazing why would you run from it??

    3) I’m assuming I go back to N/C as of course being his friend is not what I want. And what kind of “friend” would i be anyhow? Certainly not one who’s gonna be happy hearing about his latest new pick up. I have a feeling he wants to have his cake and eat it too or go play around cuz he thinks the grass is greener in single town and hope I’ll be there when he figures it out.

    Regardless I’m shattered I’ve always been so strong and now I have collapsed.
    I still love the heck out of the man.

    I keep getting feedback from people when they hear we broke up…”Oh but you guys were perfect, what happened? Didn’t he move here for you I thought you were going to get married?” UGGG

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      February 16, 2019 at 12:45 am

      Hi Sarah!

      Some guys are just foolish and immature or scare or insecure or a combination of these things.Seems like he sees your value as high and a steady course of No Contact may help him realize that he is blowing it. I hope you have my Program is it will walk you through this post breakup process!

  5. Avatar

    Zai

    January 5, 2019 at 9:20 am

    Hi Chris,
    So I had a lond distance relationship. We met online after few days of talking hours of face time he officially asks me to be his girl and I said yes. We planned on meeting each other and after 2 monthshe visited me. We spent 2 weeks together and it was amazing and I can see it in his eyes as well that he was happy. When he went back home,things get a bit rough,he said he is not sure if I am the one he wants to spend the rest of his life (he cried seeing me crying coz he is also hurting seeing me hurt). I told him to rethink since the relationship is too early to decide. I gave him space just for 2 days and we then talked. He was sorry and promised to be the kind of guy I deserve. After a month, I break his rule not to call him without sending him a message and he just blew it off saying he think that things won’t work out between us. I just said okay and instantly deleted his photos in my social media and told him to block me. My photos are still in his fb account and unfriended me instead of blocking me. We are now in a week of NC. Is there a chance?

  6. Avatar

    Jodie Taylor

    November 30, 2018 at 10:16 pm

    Hi Chris how does this apply if you have children? Can’t really do the no contact rule as constantly in contact with him to do with our child!
    My ex broke up with me 2 months ago! After a month he came back saying he regrets everything and wants me back .. we gave it a go and then 2 weeks later we had an argument and we broke up again! Now it’s been another month since do you think he will regret it again? I don’t think he will now but I’m thinking he will in 6 months or so?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      December 1, 2018 at 12:14 am

      Hi Jodie…certainly when you have children involved or if one has to discuss financial, business matters, etc, etc…then NC will be limited in such instances. Hard to know for sure if he will be wanting to try again, but I would say the odds are in your favor. Best though to have a sensible ex recovery plan!

  7. Avatar

    Amy

    November 27, 2018 at 10:19 am

    Hi,

    How would you suggest implementing the NC rule when you live together? It’s too expensive to part ways at the moment but it’s inevitable that we will end up having to talk at some point. I’m trying to stay out of the house as much as possible by going to the gym and seeing friends.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      November 27, 2018 at 11:39 pm

      Hi Amy….it does become more of a limited contact approach. Obviously there will be things you will both need to communicate about. You are doing the right thing by coming up with an independent schedule that affords you privacy, time for yourself, and independence.

  8. Avatar

    Shooby

    September 16, 2018 at 3:59 pm

    I’ve stopped contacting my ex after he said he is happy the way he is. (Without me) .
    Don’t think I should bother ever again. He acts like I’m always to blame. Like I’m always wrong in everything when it’s actually him too.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 17, 2018 at 4:06 am

      Hi Shooby!

      I know that is frustrating. Maybe he doesn’t deserve you. People who blame are usually selfish and unable to accept responsibility.

  9. Avatar

    Shooby

    September 16, 2018 at 3:57 pm

    Hi, my ex blocked me on Whatsapp because I was being uncivil after the break up. We broke up because of my flirting habits online.. I blew it because I flirted with a guy I had met in the past by texting him something inappropriate but I ended up confessing to my ex. He went mental said horrible things to me classing me as prostitute and tried to emotionally blackmailed me twice. I can forgive him for what he done but he’s horrible and a robot these days . When I text him about a favour about wanting the happy him back he said no thanks I’m alright as I am. Bye.
    Like what a sad robot. I replied your loss and how I’ve changed now . The last thing I did was send a voicemail mentioning a vid a fitness YouTuber we both like posted. No response so I’m not bothering writing now.

  10. Avatar

    Jae

    September 16, 2018 at 9:19 am

    Hello,

    My boyfriend didn’t actually break up with me. We had an argument and he decided to not talk to me after that. After 5 days, I checked up on him. I was *seen* so I became needy and begged – which I realized now was wrong. No answer. 10th day, I sent a letter of apology. No reply. Had an accident, he contacted me for a while then didn’t care after.

    After 2 weeks, I decided to call it off. I said if he doesn’t reply then it’s over. He didn’t reply. Just sent a long email to say I am accepting. He didn’t reply.

    It’s been 3 weeks of no contact since. I’ve been doing a lot of things to improve myself because I have been begging and nagging and needy. I do meditation, read, and do things that make me happy. I am willing to go through NC and commit and become a better person. I have never wanted a relationship this bad.

    But this section of yours, what do I do after NC and he does not reach out? I reach out first right? But how do I go about it. Cleary, he might think I’m still needy and all. And if I message him and he doesn’t reply, what do I? This part is about when he texts back, but what if he doesn’t? We are also in a long distance relationship and used to see each other every 6 months.

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 17, 2018 at 4:19 am

      Hi Jae!

      I encourage you to pick up my 247 page eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book” as I am so time limited here and given the number of questions you have about the no contact principle. It will walk you through the entire process and all the what, when, why, how, where, what-ifs, etc, etc.

  11. Avatar

    Laura

    September 7, 2018 at 4:32 am

    Hello Chris!
    3 years ago I met a guy.. and we liked each other a lot. Suddenly he broke up but he kept in touch with me throughout the 3 years. He got engaged this year and he asked me to go out because he has feelings for me and he actually feels very comfortable around me more than his fiancée . So we went on a date and it was amazing but he is still engaged and asked for another date this week so I cut ties with him immediately. Any advice?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 7, 2018 at 3:05 pm

      Hi Laura!

      So I would tread carefully as his history of behavior is all over the place. I would pull back and give “time” a chance to flush out his true intentions.

    2. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 7, 2018 at 3:05 pm

      Hi Laura!

      So I would tread carefully as his history of behavior is all over the place. I would pull back and give “time” a chance to flush out his true intentions.

  12. Avatar

    Irene

    September 1, 2018 at 9:38 pm

    Hello Chris ,here is my situation .
    We have been together for a year , an amazing , loving and caring relationship ..never argued or fight , lately my bf been a bit cold and strange , nothing like him before always touchy and affectionate . After all the questions he said he started chatting with the girl he was having fun with 3 years back . How confused is he etc etc ..After all the conversations and talks i have ignored him for a day as i was heart ..bectvday he said it was a mistake and he does not want anyone but me in his life ..i’m a woman of his dreams etc ..and he ll make me for fogive him and get the trust back .Well instead i was getting strange attitudes , not really wanting to see me .It was going on like this for a mouth or so , meanwhile he would send me sessages how much he loves me , sending pic of an engagement rings and booked the trip together . 2 weeks ago i saw him and i felt very strange , i was still upset of what has happened and the fact he did not make any effort . I asked him if he was happy and here it all started ! He said he is not , he can’t carry on our relationship , that he does not deserve me , he does not respect me etc etc .I slammed the door and left , he did not stop me .Since then he is messaging me pretty much every day ..asking if i’m ok , how sorry is he to make me suffer like this , how much he cares for me etc but not the reason of breaking up . After i drugged words out of him and he said that he loves and cares for me , but he is not in love anymore .I was trying to do NC rule , but could not as I suffer a lot and love him a lot . Now this trip coming up and he wants to go , but I’m not sure how should I behave , pretend we are like friends which is gonna be very hard for me as i do love him .. He said we are going on the condition of close friends and it’s best decition for us in a future .
    I can’t just assept it , i’m literally obsessed with him and can’t imagine my life without this man
    Please can you advise me what should i do ?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      September 2, 2018 at 3:44 am

      HI Irene!

      Honestly, I think NC is in your best interest. You need to time to heal and focus on your recovery. He has said things to you that must be upsetting and if he stands by them, I think it will be very difficult to take a trip with him.

  13. Avatar

    Simone

    August 28, 2018 at 5:40 pm

    My ex dumped me as he was moving country and he was scared of commitment (his first wife cheated on him)

    He sent me a letter saying how much he loved be but he was scared. And he needed therapy to fix himself

    Then two days later he said he didn’t mean it.
    I ignored him for two weeks and went NC, he has now stopped texting me. Is there any hope?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 28, 2018 at 9:24 pm

      Hi Simone…unfortunately, I hear too often about guys who shy away from commitment. Maybe its a maturity thing and sometimes its just they are insecure about making a commitment for fear of losing freedoms. I would stick with the NC and make sure you are making the best use of it as I describe in my program.

  14. Avatar

    Simone

    August 28, 2018 at 4:38 pm

    What if he broke up with me and he moved to another country?

    He said he still loves me so much, but is scared because his first wife cheated on hind

    I have been doing no contact for 5 weeks, first 2 Weeks I ignored him. Now he hasn’t contacted me. Do I have any chance?

  15. Avatar

    Nancy

    August 25, 2018 at 1:28 pm

    Hi
    How do you implement the no contact rule if you have a young baby together? We dont live together but he often calls or texts to ask about our child or to arrange contacts etc

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 26, 2018 at 1:38 am

      Its called limited no contact. It the same as NC, but you make exceptions in the case of visits and communications about your child. But you can still wring a lot of benefit from the NC principle. I write about it extensively in my eBook, “The No Contact Rule book”!

  16. Avatar

    Jay

    August 15, 2018 at 1:12 am

    What if I live with him? And the breakup is recent. How do I go about all these tips?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 17, 2018 at 2:49 pm

      It is especially important then to have a solid game plan and execute it so you are doing things right from the beginning. Just go to my website home page and look at the resources I offer to help you with my program. Sometimes, if you continue to live with someone after the breakup, it can make things more complicated, but it depends on how things unfold. But the principle are the same.

  17. Avatar

    Lucy

    August 8, 2018 at 1:31 pm

    Hi Chris,
    Wondering if you can help me please. Me and my ex fiancé have recently broken up after nearly 10years of being together, we were both 16 when we got together and he has told me that he has called it off as we have too many arguments and that we don’t have fun anymore. It come out of the blue as we had our wedding planned and booked and although we had spoken about it before we’d never had a serious conversation until just before he ended things with me. Now the day after we broke up I found out that he fancied another woman, something I did ask him when he broke it off with me and he promised me there was no attraction for anyone else. Now 4 days into the break up, he’s having lunches with her, taking her out for drinks after work and now I’ve found out he’s kissed her as well. They both like eachother as I know about that however he keeps telling me under no circumstances are we getting back together as he can’t continue the relationship on arguments. He also keeps saying that we’re not together anymore! As you can imagine this is a difficult time for me as although we’re not together I still feel like this is completely raw for me especially as we both live together and own our own house. What are you suggestions in what I should do? At the moment he doesn’t feel like he is doing anything wrong with this new woman but I’m trying to get him to understand that how he is acting is completely disrespectful towards me especially as this break up has come from no where and he’s already fancying someone else. Please help! 🙁

  18. Avatar

    Emma

    August 6, 2018 at 10:35 am

    Mine was a LDR over 7 months. We broke up 2months ago…it was his call. I was devastated cried begged and did every shit your guide says one shouldn’t. He never bothered. I was even at his country for work and he refuse to meet me saying that I can’t meet him when I want to but rather when he feels so. Despite this 2months ,I never implemented the no contact rule. I reached him every few days or the maximum I’ve gone no contact is a week and then I have somewhat reach him. I know it’s over because my family spoke to him and he said he doesn’t want it anymore. Yet I’m holding on and suffering in this emotional turmoil daily. What do I do… Is this over for real?

  19. Avatar

    Monz

    August 2, 2018 at 10:16 pm

    Hey Chris , so my boyfriend broke up with me about 3 months ago after 2 years. We were a great couple and really loved eachother but I argued a lot over small things which led him to break up with me. We stayed in touch, and started to get close again and he even said he wants to work things out and get back together but take it slow this time so I agreed. Then he seen this boy trying to flirt with me in the club, and he is convinced we kissed no matter how much I told him we didn’t. It brought up a lot of negative emotions, we both continued to talk, and he still said he considers working things out but even slower now because he feels hurt. But it wasn’t the same this time, ever since this happened (about 4 weeks ago) he just started acting more and more distant, being very cold and dry. Eventually a few days ago I decided enough is enough and confronted him about it, he started calling me names and saying I’m psychotic etc and to never contact him again and then blocked me. I was hurt, but went out in the town 3 days later with a friend, I walked past him as he was standing outside a club with friends but just ignored him and walked on laughing. About 2 hours later he called me asking if I calmed down yet and if I wanted to talk, he kept looking for stupid excuses for calling me but still continued being really rude, but still called me everytime I hung up on him. Eventually he said “fine I’ll unblock you” as if I asked? He unblocked me as soon as I got home, and texted me immediately. We talked back and forth but he said he no longer wants to work things out but just get close as friends so I agreed. Then this morning I asked him if he’s planning to be seeing people yet and he was being really rude but said no, and then told me that he no longer wants to be friends. I finally decided to do no contact, for the first time I just ignored him and went about my day instead of fighting for our contact, and I think he felt that cause he texted me an hour ago asking me if my dog is feeling okay (she had an operation last night). Now my question is, how long do I do no contact for? And will no contact even have an effect after so much time and messiness ? He said I’m being annoying etc, will no contact help that? Thankyou

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 3, 2018 at 12:19 am

      Hi Monz!

      Yes, those little arguements can chip a bit off the relationship over time, so obviously that is something you both will need to improve upon if you end up back together. My ebooks address this. I am sorry he is being so rude to you. Yes, NC can be a solution. Let him know why you are doing it. Explain you need to heal and work on yourself and will be going thru a quiet phase of not communicating as the relationship is becoming toxic and you want to change that. Also go to my website home page and pick up my eBook (Pro) so you can learn what to do throughout this process!

    2. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 3, 2018 at 12:19 am

      Hi Monz!

      Yes, those little arguements can chip a bit off the relationship over time, so obviously that is something you both will need to improve upon if you end up back together. My ebooks address this. I am sorry he is being so rude to you. Yes, NC can be a solution. Let him know why you are doing it. Explain you need to heal and work on yourself and will be going thru a quiet phase of not communicating as the relationship is becoming toxic and you want to change that. Also go to my website home page and pick up my eBook (Pro) so you can learn what to do throughout this process!

  20. Avatar

    Jess

    May 14, 2018 at 8:20 pm

    My boyfriend cheated by messaging another girl saying his friend said they were similar and he said he thought he’s got to meet her. He cried said he’s sorrys tried to also blame me then kept going back and forth from he’s sorry to it’s my fault. When I messaged the girl to find out the truth he said he was done he couldn’t cope. I find out two weeks later he’s re-added her and carried on messaging her I rang him I was so angry I wanted him to feel bad I felt like his sorry meant nothing. Is he really sorry or am I best to move on ?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      May 14, 2018 at 10:32 pm

      Hi Jess…don;t you just hate it when a guy is dead wrong…then desperately tries to blame you. It looks like he needs to better understand your value and that you have little tolerance for such behavior. Perhaps you consider telling him you need to some time and space to heal from your anger and disappointment and also reflect on what you want to do going forward. Perhaps a short No Contact period would be appropriate. You are probably looking for actionable solutions, right? Well, the good news is that I created various resources to help folks like yourself. Just go to my website’s Menu Section and click on “Products” link. You will learn there are lots a ways to better your situation! You don’t have to do this by your lonesome! Let me know how it goes.

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