How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Call You Or Answer The Phone- Ex Boyfriend Recovery

422 thoughts on “This Will Make Him Call You Or Answer The Phone”

Mary

August 29, 2015 at 3:15 pm

Hey! I really need your help.
I was with my ex partner for almost 3 years (he is 9 years younger than me) and we were fighting for some time now mostly because he felt insecure. He tried to control me, who to see, who to talk to, when to go out etc. I tried doing everything he asked just to calm him down but it only became worse. He broke up with me 3 weeks ago because he said I cheated on him (which I didn’t). He doesn’t pick up the phone, he doesn’t reply to my messages and I haven’t heard from him ever since. Even if we don’t get back together I don’t want him to think that I cheated. What can I do?
Thank you

Chris Seiter

August 30, 2015 at 4:32 pm

He needs to get over his own insecurities. There isn’t anything that you can say to make him change his mind. Just do no contact and don’t talk to any guys at all if your trying to get back with him.

Sofie

August 27, 2015 at 8:24 pm

Hi Chris,
I hope you are well.
My ex and I broke up over 2 weeks ago (coming up for 3) we have been in a bit of a distance relationship – I work and live 3 hours away Monday – Friday and we catch each other when we can at weekends sometimes a full weekend or sometimes for part of the weekend. For the last month of the relationship I had been struggling with feeling very low about my job and life during the week while working away, I also became very emotional and anxious over lots of things especially in feeling scared I was going to loose or push him away although he kept ensuring me it was fine. Anyways eventually I had a huge emotional break down one day and sent him many emotions unreplied text messages… He finished our relationship stating it was the final straw and he could not handle my grief anymore. Over the next few days I sent him many messages ranging from I love you to hate you. I also asked if it was really over… He finally answered saying it looks that way and then stopped replying again. A few days later (5 days after break up) I tried to call however kept getting his voicemail I had also realised he deleted me as a friend on Facebook. I know I shouldn’t have but I went to his house to ask him to speak to me where he informed me he had nothing to say to me at the moment, he had blocked my number and then asked me to leave. I left and sent him a message via Facebook telling him it broke my heart he couldn’t even have a conversation with me and he replied saying “not at the moment”. Of course being a woman I continued to message him 1-2 times most days over the next week until he blew up saying he told me to leave him until he contacted me and now would not be speaking to me about the situation and later ok after further messages he told me to leave him alone and not to contact him delete his number whatever it took – he then blocked me on Facebook (this is day 5 of the full block out) I have not since that night he fully blocked me tried to contact by using a different number or anything like that I have taken the decision to step back and give him space (I should of done in the beginning but as you say emotions took over control) I already feel my mind is a lot clearer than 5 days ago but I miss him terribly and I am now beginning to shed a few tears at night.
Do I have any hope?

Chris Seiter

September 2, 2015 at 3:09 am

Read the post on LDR’s. LDR’s only work if there is a plan in place to ultimately be together.

sarah

August 23, 2015 at 8:02 am

hello, I asked my ex bf to add me a telegram group but dont leave my number in any groups he said ok but he published my cell number in a group in order to they add me then I became anger and insulted him too much and blocked him in telegram it’s tomorrow I found he dislike my pics on fb and closed his add then I became annoying and blocked him on fb and messaged him on viber u are stupid and it is right to block you then I blocked him every where and he did as well except viber but bcs he say lie about me to my mom I called his brother and talked about his lie then I became calm and I unblocked him but now he blocked me in every apps except fb; bcs I didnt unblock him on fb ? what do you think about this story pls
MOMO

August 13, 2015 at 11:13 pm

Hi Chris,
I broke up with my ex boyfriend beginning of June because he started to be distant (he was also going through a rough time). Each time I tried to confront him about our relationship via text ( I found it easier than face to face) he would say that I was putting extra pressure on him and he would talk to me later. He continued to avoid me for two days so I lost it and broke up with him. A couple of days later, with the advice of friends, I decided to text him and ask him out for coffee and he accepted. He said that he had the impression that we were more friends than girlfriend/ boyfriend ( which i sometimes felt the same way) and that his family adored me. After this talk, I understood that we were giving our relationship one last chance and if it didn t work, we would stay friends. That night we slept together and for two days afterwards he didn t text me. He would only text if I texted him. So I sent him a text saying what are we? and he replied I don t know , you decide. I said we had to be two in this relationship and one person couldn t make the decision. Hejust said he was sorry . So I broke up with him. A couple of days later, I was walking past his bar and he saw me and he ran after me and wanted to talk but I refused . Two weeks later, he was going to court so I sent him a message wishing him luck and he answered thank you so much. Two weeks after that, I decided to send him back his stuff and I texted him saying can he send me my stuff. He was very nice about it and he sent them back. Begining of July I saw him (his bar is close to where I work) and I gave him the evil look.
For a monthe we didn t talk until my flatmate went to his bar. My ex was really nice to him and he asked after me. He also said to say hi to me. Knowing that, two days later I went to the bar wih my friend and he was really nice to me, asking questions about my life and everything. My friend asked him if he could take me home because I wasn feeling ill ( I had a cold) and he looked so please and said of course. So he gave me a lift home and we chatted about loads of things ( except the bad things). When it came time to say goodbye he gave me a big hug and a kiss on the nose. He also said If you need me, give me a call. A couple of days later I sent him a text saying thanks for the lift and he said you are more than welcome. The next days I sent him an other one saying it would be nice to mee up for a coffee. He replied to it 5 days later saying yes of course sorry I ve been so busy ( which can be true because his bar is very busy at this time of the month).
He is giving me mix signals because he is there if I text him or he sees me but otherwise he doesn t do anything. I know he is very busy with the bar but that doesn t give him a reason to not contact me.I would like to get back with him but at the same time I don’ t know if it s because we didn t have a closure. This has been going on for two month. What do you think? I need some advice please. Thank you
Nancy

July 23, 2015 at 11:54 pm

Type of question this person is not good for me and I don’t want to have a relationship with him. However he hung up on me never said goodbye and refuses to talk to me. I wantedclosure because I invested my love and my time with this person for about three years. He basically just blocked me and won’t have anything to do with me. I’m having a very difficult time getting over it simply because of the no closure. Is there anything I can do in your opinion??
Nancy

July 23, 2015 at 11:53 pm

Type of question this person is not good for me and I don’t want to have a relationship with him. However he hung up on me never said goodbye and refuses to talk to me. I wantedclosure because I invested my love and my time with this person for about three years. He basically just blocked me and won’t have anything to do with me. I’m having a very difficult time getting over it simply because of the no closure. Is there anything I can do in your opinion?
Lina

June 30, 2015 at 9:43 pm

Dear Chris,
So i have been with my ex for 2 years++. A month ago, he broke up with me (it was mostly my fault as i haven’t been treating him right/ did a few mistakes multiple times). Anyways, just last week i managed to get back in contact with him. I said sorry and said that i wanted to start over. I told him we could take things slow. I thought he agreed. So things went well last week, we talked on the phone and shared laughter, we even went on a date that i’d say ended pretty well. Everything was going just the way i wanted it to. Until last thursday, he suddenly started ignoring me. Like, REALLY IGNORING ME. Full on. I did try to call him a few times, and the only time he did pick up he said “i’m like this bcs its your fault. I just can’t trust you anymore when i think about what you did to me before.” Then he hangs up. I, out of instinct became a call-gnat and text-gnat. In which i received NO REPLY AT ALL. It’s been almost a week. I know he’s reading my messages because i check his last seen on whatsapp. He won’t even return my calls! And just last week he said he loved me. I’m confused at what he wants and what i should do. Is it because he has problems? He needs time and space? Or simply he’s found another? 🙁 i’ve said sorry a million times already. He wont even tell me why hes being like this. i’m really being tortured right now as i was just going to be happy with him again. It’s like i just found my light again and it was taken away. What should i do?
Brenda

May 10, 2015 at 11:41 pm

I gave my ex a call after 30 days of NC. He wasnt available to pick up straight away but called me back after about 2 hours. We have a nice chat and caught up and he said it was good to hear from me again. What should my next steps be? He returns calls out of human decency so I’m not sure how else I should increase the attraction or lingering thought process more than I already have (I let him know about a few biggish changes in my life and he was happy to hear me doing well).
Lindsey

May 7, 2015 at 10:43 am

Hi Chris,

I am 19 and my ex is 25. We had a good relationship from about September 2014 to about two months ago. I began making him miserable because due to trust issues I had in my prior relationship, I looked onto his Facebook. I realized that the time before we were official, from December 2013-September 2014, he was dating another girl and sleeping with her unprotected. While I understood that he wanted to just date, he lied and told me that we were exclusive during that time, and he treated that girl much better until she simply broke it off and he begged for her. I was very bitter. He spent the last two months doing absolutely everything trying to make me believe he loved me, which I do believe he did. However I was just so bitter I kept taunting him, even mentioning things like we need to break up, or that I wasn’t the person for him! Anyway, he broke up with me when I looked in his phone another time, and I told him I really would change. And I truly believe and know that I will! Is there a chance for him to give me another chance? I’m in NC right now for the second day. He texted me “how did your finals go?” and “hope you are okay” but still hasn’t answered. I’m pretty anxious right now.

Thanks!

Lindsey

May 7, 2015 at 10:45 am

Not still hasn’t answered, still hasn’t tried to text or call me again, I mean.

Dana

March 17, 2015 at 7:26 pm

What about an ex who never ever called after the day of the break up? Nothing really bad happened (like cheating or anything, just arguing from time to time, but good times were much more). Half a year, not a single clue she is alive…

admin

March 18, 2015 at 9:05 pm

I did that to my ex.

I was just stubborn about the fact that I wanted her to text me first…

(I broke up with her.)

Christa

March 6, 2015 at 4:00 am

My ex and I recently broke up about a week ago. It was a bad break up that ended horribly. We argued and I ended up moving out in the same day. He kept telling me he wanted to be alone and needed to get his life together and couldn’t do so with someone else around, yet he was always on facebook or texting his friends and some girl he couldn’t seem to stay away from. According to your article I did one of the ultimate no-no’s by giving him an ultimatum between me and talking to this other girl or his “friend” and well since I wasn’t picked I decided to leave considering we were together for 3 years and they had only known each other for about a month. About four months ago he told me he loved me and wanted to move to another state together, get married, and have kids then about 3 weeks before we broke up he told me he’d never marry me, he’d never have my kids, and we’d never have anything together which of course not only hurt, but also confused me. We have both agreed not to speak to one another, but have agreed to meet up in a couple of months to talk. It went downhill so quickly that of course I’m still emotionally attached and a part of me wants him back and then again another part of me doesn’t. I know I obviously have to figure out what I want, but I’m a little confused as to what was going on with him. From a guys perspective can you provide some feedback that might help to understand where his mindset was? I’m afraid that if I do end up wanting him he will be after that other girl and that this entire time this has been a ploy to break up just so he can be with her and if that’s the case she can have him, but he’ll never admit that. So I wonder if there’s maybe something I’m not seeing? Thank you in advance for any advice!

admin

March 7, 2015 at 5:48 pm

Seems like his reasoning doesn’t make sense.

He can get his life together with you around…

Lisa

February 23, 2015 at 3:09 am

Hi, I have been having a hard time dealing with with my break up and your site has been really a light in the end of a tunnel. Anyways, its been 4 months since my breakup and we broke up loving each other, and even with the possibility of being together in the future. The decision was his but he said he loved me and that he would figure his life out and chase me again eventually. Well, he still says he cant be with anyone right now, but we have a lot of friends in common, we care for each other and speak via whatsapp, sometimes phone calls and personallly, since we live in the same building and have friends in common. We get along very well, we laugh a lot together and have great talks about everything, but since he has everything on his hands right now, I decided to start NC.

But I have a question. Right now we are ate an ok place. We are not together but Im pretty sure he has a “good feeling” about me – at least most of the time. What if I start NC, he tries to contact me, I ignore him out of nowhere because of the NC and he thinks Im a crazy, so he gets angry at me and start to have a “bad feeling” about me? Wouldn it make everything more difficult when the NC ends and I start texting him? Like, wouldnt I have to work harder to change his feeling about me from bad to good, since now its good? Im confused, help me!

Tks!

admin

February 23, 2015 at 9:38 pm

You should check out the podcast as well as the site if you want more information.

I am actually writing an article about NC and the complexities and when you shouldn’t use it right now. By friday that article will be finished.

Can you wait till then?
Lisa

February 24, 2015 at 1:07 am

Well, I guess.

Really want to read this post!! Things should just be easier -_-
admin

February 24, 2015 at 9:24 pm

I am working on it!

2.000 words in so far.

Shasha

January 3, 2015 at 2:37 pm

Hi Cris,
I think you are so awesome for going out of your way to help all these people. Reading through everything you wrote I thought maybe he can help me. Okay so here’s the deal I recently went through a bad experience with my man. We been in a relationship 8 going on 9 years. I still love him very much. However, things happened between us he started acting not cool I decided to break up with him and told him we are just to be friends. Well he kept contacting me wanting me to go back with him. I told him I do love you but I think friends would be best. He could see I wanted more then that but I stood my ground and said firmly no. Anyways to make the long story short we continue to talk and text quite often he kept tying to invite himself over to my house for New Years Eve I told him no I am not for company I am busy right now. He tells me no I’m here in the parking lot open the door for me I’m already here. He kept saying okay, okay, okay so being bugged I said what no okay. He comes to the door my Mom answers and tells him look I am really sorry but I am tired I’m going to bed I don’t want anyone here right now please just go home you can come over another time. Well he was pissed… saying “oh hrmph b*tches” then took off pissed. No sooner text me on the phone and starts going all ballistic on me saying you “lame b*tches are full of shit”. he starts cursing at me saying I never want to speak to you ever again forever go fux yourself telling me never to call or text him as long as I live that it’s over forever he is thru with me. I texted him back very nicely and calmly explaining to him what had happened. He just said it again do you understand what I am saying to you I am done with you never want to speak to, text to or see you again I mean it lose my number forever. Do not contact me ever again. He went crazy for no reason at all. I told him how dare you say such cruel things to me I would never talk to you that way. I told him I will not argue with you over this petty sh*t I don’t need this stress right now. Please just go home and sleep it off and please drive home safe and happy new year to you and your family. He said it the for last time fux off b*tch. Never texted or called me again after that. Do you think he will ever call me or text me again or do you think he’s serious and were permanently thru no friends. Honestly I do not want and will not ever contact him again after that I don’t feel I should have to be the one anyway I have had it. I did not deserve to be treated like that at all but I still would like to know if you feel he will ever contact me again? Cause I ain’t calling or texting him he don’t deserve my time.
CM

December 13, 2014 at 7:57 pm

what if you get all the way through past the way “emotional” step….. well, he sends a long text saying he first made a mistake about saying we should be texting so much because he DOES want to hear from me and be updated on my life etc, and then on my birthday he said happy birthday and how great of a girl I am etc…. But then .. I blew the opportunity to get further!! I kind of froze and ever since then just kind of diverted to really light/inside jokes/easy texts, like one of your “first or second text” examples, every few weeks. now it’s been almost 3 weeks since I’ve even sent one of those bc he didn’t respond anymore so I felt like I should wait some time to text again (and it’s been a few months since my birthday and the serious emotional texts…)

Did I blow it? How can i get back in there? I just didn’t want to push him too hard at first…

CM

December 13, 2014 at 7:58 pm

…oops he said he made a mistake saying we should not** be texting…

(but he still wanted to slow it down…)

Claire

November 17, 2014 at 4:40 am

Chris, my ex left me for someone else. 3 months of NC he is suddenly calling me everyday and messages me saying he needs to talk!

He is so adamant to talk to me on the phone but i have not picked up his calls. Is he trying to apologize or is this him wanting me back? Curious.
Michelle

August 4, 2014 at 3:56 am

Hi Chris. I have written to you in the past regarding my situation with my ex. Just to refresh you, he broke up with me several months ago because he has issues with conflict & although we didn’t fight excessively & it wasn’t anything out of hand, it was still enough to scare him off & that has happened to him with his past relationships aswell. He is extremely stubborn. We had NC for 5 months & I have been priming my ex through texts these past couple weeks & things were going positive & my ex finally called me. I was trying to keep control of the conversation & keep things positive but he kept trying to bring up the breakup. Also, he randomly started saying how he doesn’t know if us speaking again is a good idea because he doesn’t want to mislead me. He said he is afraid I would catch feelings for him again. I just replied that I miss talking to him because we would talk all the time & that he doesn’t need to worry about that stuff. When we were talking he also made a statement how he realizes he isn’t ready to be in a relationship because of his issues with conflict & that he has more growing to do. It seems he is 100% not interested in being with me again, I know this process is not suppose to be easy, but what do you do when your ex flat out says maybe we shouldn’t speak because I don’t want to you give you false hope? Should I give up? Do you have any advice you could give me in regards to my situation, I truly appreciate it!

Michelle

August 5, 2014 at 8:45 pm

please help, i have read all your guides but not sure how to handle this : (

Jasmine

July 23, 2014 at 5:50 am

My ex broke up with me several months ago due to us not getting along. It ended badly, he unfriended me on facebook & blocked my number and we haven’t spoken in months. He recently sent me an email apologizing for the way he hurt me and said that he wishes me the best in life and hopes I find someone who can appreciate the great person that I am. What does this mean!? Lol. I want to talk to him but not sure how to respond and not sure if I even have a chance because he said he hopes I find someone else. What do you think this means? And also, how can I transition this to texting? Should I text him back instead of emailing him back? Maybe he still has my number blocked though, I don’t know, what should I do? Please help, i truly appreciate it, thank you chris! : )

admin

July 24, 2014 at 2:50 pm

Did you have a lot of fights or something?

Rosie

June 6, 2014 at 4:06 pm

Hi Chris,

I just wanted to ask with regards to getting a phone call what should you do if your ex is a “phone phobe”? My ex wont talk to ANYBODY over the phone but he is fine with texting. At the start of the relationship he wanted to try talking on the phone but he backed out and changed his mind because he hates phone calls so much. Is there any way to get him to overcome this and try calling me or if i skip this step will i still be able to get him back?

Taryn

June 19, 2014 at 10:33 pm

Hey girl :]

If he won’t call you or doesn’t like to talk on the phone or whatever, then You call Him.

Calling our exes is apart of this program. And is important because it will help lead the two of you into seeing each other in person.

And when you do call him, give him good feelings so that he won’t dread phone calls. Make him love hearing your voice.

Nothing wrong with you calling him first. Just as long as you prime him first :]

Alisia

June 3, 2014 at 8:41 pm

Chris i need your help!! I really want to reconcile with my ex boyfriend, but i don’t want to text him first! Our break up was ugly and he told me very hurtful things.. Which i didn’t deserve! I didn’t insult him i just told him goodbye and went NC. It has passed 2 months already and he didn’t text or call me! From that time i tried to improve myself by going out with friends, look beautiful and be happy.We was in long distance relationship and he keep me on facebook so it is my only tool for get him back.. I read all your articles over here and i really did a lot.. except of texting him first. He should do it first! He broke up with me because he “started to speak a lot” with other girl and decided that he doesn’t love me anymore. (Btw you should write about grass is greener syndrome) So.. my question is what i can do to him text me first??

admin

June 5, 2014 at 5:35 pm

Grass is greener syndrome is scheduled to be the next article after the next article.

Sadaf

April 19, 2014 at 3:33 pm

Hey chris,

i have read almost every page on your website and i think i can do the NCR. I emailed you but i just found out on this article that you no longer respond to ur emails.
anyways,
what happened is a really long story and to leave out any details feels like it is a really incomplete picture because there is so much going on that lead to him saying “Sadaf, I don’t love you, I have never loved you, I do not want to be in this relationship anymore.”
i just think there is a lot of stress in his life which had not much to do with me and he just needs a break. i’m kind of hesitant to share all that here, i just hope if you can make an exception and check ur inbox for my email because i have so much to say. i have tried to be an understanding girlfriend and have followed his instructions and have tried to help him where i can, support in others.
we were going through a rough patch and he was happy in the afternoon and then in 15min time, he texts me that its over. it’s unbearable and its killing me because i don’t want to believe it and i think its not over.
there is so much more that you need to know and so much more that i have mentioned in my email. i really hope that you reply, (either via email or on this comment) because i really really want to know where i stand in my relationship and i really want to understand what might be going through his mind. i want to be there for him. i don’t want him to ever feel like he’s alone.
i have shared our relationship details with my roommate and she says pretty much that i should’ve dumped him. to get a guy’s view, i have trying talking to his friends. one says that i should use my “common sense” while the other one said that he won’t share what he knows about my boyfriend.
he is not a “bad boy”. and he doesn’t open up his feelings easily. i don’t know what to expect. i am on NC after a big mistake on being a calling gnat for an entire night. i am trying to give him space but today’s been the third day of my NC and i hate it. he hasn’t contacted me yet so i am falling apart.
i bet you can tell that i am desperate since i found your website on the second day of our break up and have been following NC for three days since. i do nothing but read through pages like this one. i walked on the first morning and i got sick the same night. still am sick. i know u said to try to become the UG in the NC period but how am i supposed to find the willpower to do that when all i want to do is curl up in his arms. he is my rock. i always go to him when i am slightly sad. he encourages me. now he’s not there.
i hope u find the chance to reply. there is so much more that i think you need to know.

admin

April 20, 2014 at 3:44 am

Ya it got to be too crazy for me to respond to all the emails (sorry.)

You become the UG by taking it one step at a time. Start off by doing something small first. What do you think you can do right now to take a step in that direction (no matter how small it is?)
Sadaf

April 19, 2014 at 3:45 pm

oh and we were together for 2 years. in a successful and happy relationship. i was his UG. i have lost some weight since we’ve met, (he’s into fitness and he helped me with that). i had acne about 6 months back but now m all better, so i know that wasn’t really the case.
he’s a really social person and outgoing and is always busy doing things so i think it will take him some more days before he feels my absence. i was his best friend, like he was mine.
he completely takes me out and never feels ashamed to introduce me to his friends. he doesn’t share his troubles with anyone but me and his best friend. we had a great sex life so m sure i was fulfilling his emotional and physical needs.
i was the one being manipulated in our relationship but i don’t mind that. i can be understanding about that. i just wanted to be whatever he needed. in turn, he would just have to be a good listener and we would hang out.
i just really think he did it because he was angry and needs a break. i want to know if i am wrong or right.

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422 thoughts on “This Will Make Him Call You Or Answer The Phone”