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422 thoughts on “This Will Make Him Call You Or Answer The Phone”

  1. Honey Asgari

    February 15, 2019 at 8:20 am

    Hello there
    I had the worst heartbreak of my life with this man who I I’m deeply in love over a stupid texting that happened the night before our fifth date. We were supposed to meet on the next day, but I noticed He hadn’t fixed time and date yet. So at around 8 pm I asked him if he could talk and he video called me while he was at gym. I didn’t mention about the reason u wanted to actually talk to him, because I felt he was acting cold. Anyways, we hanged up and I texted him some lines saying I felt there wasn’t consistency on his side and telling him why I wanted to talk to him in the first place, to fix time and place… long story short, he faded away from me from that night, which was a week ago and just yesterday blocked me on whatsapp. I am so devastated I can’t function my daily routines like before. He totally dumped me while we were both in such romance. During last week I couldn’t resist NC because there was no actual breakup conversation exchanged at that time so I texted him every two or three days. We exchanged some limited emoji kisses and stuff and I thought it was going the right direction. I bent backward for this man because of the love that I have for him which is soooooooooo in a different level. Our connection our romance was so unique and he shut down on me he has been so unfair to me just because of those lines. He only talked to me once during last week. Told me he would go to his business trip come back and give me a call, which he never did and then I had to text and text and text. Last night I finally decided to do NC because I was blocked on his whatsapp phone!!!!! Duh! I removed him from my Instagram and now there is no social media connection between us anymore. Yesterday morning he sent me happy valentine’s day message and I replied that I loved him not just yesterday but every second of everyday and then at lunch time when I tried to reach him I realised I was blocked. I’m in physical and mental devastation. Willing to pay for your therapy. I need help. Please help me. I live in London. Please get back to me ASAP.

    1. Chris Seiter

      February 16, 2019 at 12:50 am

      Hi Honey!

      So no contact could be the right medicine here, but you really would benefit from having a complete ex recovery plan going forward. Visit my website’s home page as I have several tools and resources. We also offer coaching as may be needed.

  2. Natasha

    December 24, 2018 at 12:55 pm

    Hi Chris,
    It’s been 2 years now since my ex and I broke up. The problem is we’re at the same Uni and have lottts of mutual friends which is quite irritating and even in holidays I keep seeing him. We didn’t leave each other bcuz of a fight, he got scared somehow of the commitment maybe although he told me that I’m his first love. I didn’t believe that earlier but now I sorta do. One day I invited all my guy friends to my house and so I told him just not to be blamed later on and he came, it actually happened twice and he came! A year ago his friends told me that he wants me back and he misses me but he didn’t say it himself and then I faced him and he said that yes he wants to get back but he’s afraid “of what i don’t know”. Then I let everything go but this month he’s trying to reach out once again and he seems regretful. He called me and we talked for half an hour and it was aaall good and joyful at the end he asked me when would that happen again I said I don’t know we’ll see. It’s been 3 days now and he didn’t say anything.
    I really want him to keep trying and to get back but I don’t know what to do. What do you think I should do? How should I react and make him call me again? PLEASE HELP ME

    1. Chris Seiter

      December 24, 2018 at 10:23 pm

      Hi Natasha! So if you are following my Program (pick up my book!) you would follow your No Contact Period, with a period of slowly rebuilding communications by text, then phone, eventually leading up to your first casual meetup. So my advice is tap into my resources here at the site so you are better prepared going forward.

  3. michelle

    November 28, 2018 at 3:44 am

    Hi Chris, i already got phone calls with my ex but i ruined it i got angry and start fighting a bit but in the end of the phone i apologize to him and end the conversation good terms. Is it okay to call him again or just not contacting him for a few days ? is it ruining my relationship with him ?

    1. Chris Seiter

      November 29, 2018 at 3:45 am

      Hi Michelle….ooops. Well, we all can get angry in a flash when the breakup emotions have not come into balance. Give it a few days.

  4. R

    November 3, 2018 at 7:38 am

    hello chris, and EBR team
    so me and my ex broke up two months a go, i did a successful NC and we reconnected again after a while, we had fights maybe once or twice but after that everything was going great expect he didnt want a relationship, he said we can be friends, i told him i refuse that situation but we’re not gonna talk about it now until his life gets better, he was so gentle and kept reminding me of good memories and we talked a little about things after we get marriage but he never really said we got back together, a week a go he saw my sister’s male friend’s comment on he photo and he was talking to me and it was some sort of a compliment, he got mad and we fought, we had a really big fight, i told him that i’m done playing mind gamed and if he really loves me and he’s jealous we have to make a serious step, i told him i can’t tell people stop talking nice to me cause u get mad when u’re not even my boyfriend, he also talked to my mom before the break up so my mother texted him after this fight telling him that if u want her u have to make a decision.. we didn’t talk after that, i’m doing a NC now all over again, what do u think i should do too and what would be my next step.. i can’t find any topic here that matches my copmlicated situation..
    we have been in a long term relationship and this wasn’t our first break up but am really tired of trying..

    1. Chris Seiter

      November 4, 2018 at 1:05 am

      Hi R.

      Good for you! NC can be very effective but be sure to roll it out in the way I teach it. Its a two front effort…your recovery and the recovery of the relationship. Do you have my eBook as it is a great Companion Guide?

  5. Kelly

    October 17, 2018 at 11:07 am

    Hi!
    Rrading these are very insightful. My boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me today. The reason for our breakup is that we have the same arguement about his inability to emotionally open up to me and verbalize how he feels. Within one hour of breaking up he removed me from Facebook and set my messages to ignore. Will he realize hes made a mistake and want to talk to me if I implement NC? Please help.

    Thank you so much!
    Kelly

    1. Chris Seiter

      October 18, 2018 at 11:30 pm

      Hi Kelly!

      Yes, sometimes that is how it works out. A guy can act out rashly….impulsively doing or saying something stupid. Many guys will block, then later unblock as they can stand no knowing what is going on with you. Whether its good or bad, our souls kinda cross thru each other and so its hard to let go. That is the spiritual explanation. There is a more technical brain chemistry explanation too!

  6. Nelma Tavares

    January 2, 2018 at 7:56 am

    My boyfriend and I were in a relationship for 2 years. He broke up with me over the phone 4 months ago. I did the NC a couple of times during this period for 3 to 4 weeks. We haven t talked to each other since then. He texted me 3 times this month. To wish me a safe travels back to Europe for the holiday period, for Xmas eve and NYE. The 3 texts always started by “I just wanted to tell you…”. I systematically kept it short and sweet but am Kind of bored now by this kind of interaction and don’t know how to rekindle with him…

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 5, 2018 at 6:30 pm

      HI Nehma,

      check this one:
      Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

  7. Ebony

    September 21, 2017 at 11:27 am

    Hey my fiance of just over a year left me about a week and a half ago, I was distraught. .. I still am! We were in a long distance relationship so obviously he left me over a message on instagram. He told me he was leaving me for my own good, as we both have really bad mental health problems, so he said he needed to be on his own and that I needed to get help… he always used to say he would never leave me, and he was always going to be there for me. Now it feels like he’s a completely different person, he’s unfriendly me on Facebook (but kept our photos up and it says he’s still engaged), he’s blocked me on instagram. I am doing the no contact rule, it just feels so horrid. You would never think he would be this type of person. At all. Just after we broke up he said he still loves me and he wouldnt be the guy to just dump me and never speak to me again, but he hasn’t messaged me at all… I’m a wreck, from what I’ve calculated the No contact rule ends a day after his birthday in October … I don’t know what to do. Despite everything I love him so much, I know I shouted at him a lot and I know sometimes I treated him like cap but I didn’t realise how bad it was until now. You know when people say you don’t realive what you have until it’s gone? Yeah that’s me right now. I didn’t appreciate him as much as I should have.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 26, 2017 at 7:34 pm

      Hi Ebony,

      Extend your nc a week more

  8. Jessie

    August 2, 2017 at 4:34 am

    I loved reading this article, but unfortunately I am at a crossroad where I have no idea what to do. My ex boyfriend’s best friend is texting me and he told me that my ex still loves me but is afraid to leave his current girlfriend for me; (in the past I cheated on him). I think he’s afraid to go back to me and afraid to waste his time or be rejected again, (which I will not do). My question is: How or what can I do or say to my ex boyfriend to convince him that this time really am being truthful? (Also the last time we talked he said he wants to see my actions, he doesn’t believe me words anymore , after I’ve lied too many times saying that I was a changed person).

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 3, 2017 at 6:13 pm

      If you can work and have somebody else look over your child while you work, that would be better.. You need to know and cultivate your self worth.

      You cheated on him before but right now you’re chasing him. You’re accepting that you’re the one who has to prove something even though he’s telling you he wants to be with you while he’s in a relationship.

      Hanging out with other guys especially his friend is like proving to him he’s right about you..

      Staying friends with him now is lowering your self worth too because first, you’re putting yourself in the friendzone. Second, it’s starting to look like you’ve been making up for a mistake that was a long time ago and both of you should have moved on from it since he’s in a relationship now too.

      You’re showing him you’re just there, always waiting for his forgiveness..

      The better approach is to talk to him about what happened calmly. Tell him you’re sorry about what happened before but you’ve forgiven yourself and that’s not you now and it’s up to him whether he forgives you or not but you’re moving on from that for your self respect and for your child.

      If he wants to get back with you, he has to do the right thing first, break up with his current gf. If he says it’s just because he doesn’t trust you, tell him, that’s for him to work out for himself because that was a mistake years ago. Thank him for eveything and tell him you hope that he understands and respect the space you need for yourself.

      And then do at least 30 days of nc.. Don’t tell him you’re doing nc. Don’t tell him you’re going to contact him after 30 days. If he asks if you will contact him again, tell him as of now you don’t know yet. If he asks if you’re still friends, tell him as of now that’s not workable.

      Improve yourself. Have a new routine for yourself and your child. Have your own life. Prepare your life in a way that if you don’t get him back, it will hurt but it’s his loss, not yours. You have a lot in store for yourself and in your child’s future.

  9. Jenn

    July 6, 2017 at 10:53 pm

    Hi Chris-
    Quick question on my scenario…wont go into the long backstory but….Ex and I have been apart for a year now. We have texted only a few times over this last year. The last time was 4 months ago when I wished him a happy birthday. Last week I sent him a text asking if he would be ok with having a chat and catching up. He did not reply to the text, however, 5 days later he called me! I missed the call and he left a really nice message saying that he would definitely be up for getting coffee or a bite to eat and for me to give him a call when I had a chance. I called him the next day, well he did not answer and I left him a nice upbeat message. Saying it was nice of him to call and to give me a call back when he had a chance. Well now its been a week and nothing. Thinking the best action from me is to just wait. Wanted to know your thoughts?
    Thanks a bunch!!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 9, 2017 at 3:57 pm

      why not try the no contact way? Be active in improving yourself and don’t contact nor replying for at least 30 days and be active in posting too and then initiate contact and continue the activities and posting while slowly building rapport?

  10. sesilia

    July 5, 2017 at 11:32 pm

    Hi,
    I’ve been following your advice to do no contact rule. when I’m done I planned to talk to him at night but he did it before me. before he contacted me. I had a talk with friend that ask me how I’m doing because my frend know we broke up. At first I said I’m ok but during we talked my friend know that I had a difficult time. I’m doing my best to get out from depression and improve myself. I know later that this friend of mind actually talked to my ex boyfriend. asked if he still mad at me and what his next plan. my friend also mention to him that he is very important in my life that’s why It was very difficult on me(he didn’t mention in details). my ex boyfriend didn’t know and his expression was shocked (acording to my friend). he thought he is not important person. then he started to like my Instagram and contacted after 3 days. but he contact me straight with asking when he can give me back my shoes. and wanted to ask about school stuff. It’s always asking stuff and my help. sometimes he will complained when I try to cheer him he didn’t say anything or reply very short. since he reply very short I didn’t reply him back. then he contact me again and ask again if I can help him fix his bracelet. After we talk I explained to him that I can try help him but not sure because It’s really not easy. and he send me cry emoticon. now I really don’t know how to handle this. can u please help me?
    Thank you

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 6, 2017 at 7:36 pm

      Hi Sesilia,

      how many days have you done nc when he contacted you and were you active in improving yourself and in posting?

  11. Sami

    July 5, 2017 at 9:13 pm

    Hey,
    My ex and I have been separated for almost 8 months now. We were in a 4 year relationship and broke up for a few different reasons I successfully completed NC not too long after the break up and then started texting and/or calling fairly regularly but it never really progressed so I stopped putting in so much effort. Now either of us will randomly tag in memes or he will call which I think would be considered and “out of the blue” call and chat for at least 30mins. The calls are usually 2-3 weeks apart and generally around the same time of the week. I always feel good after our chats and then progressively start to decline for a few weeks and then that’s usually when he calls again. I’m wondering if he’s topping up his good feelings and if I should just ignore them until something more substantial happens? I’d rather ignore then continue to be roped into a cycle. Last conversation he said he had collected me some merchandise from an event he runs annually and he knows how much I love free merch! I told him just to let me know when he’s free and I’ll come collect it or whatever was easiest – we haven’t seen each other since the break. I hadn’t heard from him at all so I just gave up on it and decided to let it go. I want to let go because I want to move on but there’s part of me hanging on and I just want to understand what’s going on.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 6, 2017 at 7:30 pm

      it looks like you’re friendzoned.

  12. Avy

    July 4, 2017 at 9:59 am

    Hello there, I really appreciate your work! It’s been helping me a lot.
    So, I have been thinking about my ex quite a lot lately… We dated for almost 5 months until he dumped me because of our long distance relationship. He said he was tired of the long travels to see me and I was a little immature at the time, I confess. So we broke up in the ends of October. And after no contact, he send me a messenger in December, on the Christmas day, wishing me nice holidays. We started then talking about random stuff and he kept telling me news about him. How he was working closer to me now. We started saying how he missed me in some ways and that made me angry. How he didn’t appreciate me before. And I asked him, if that’s so, why did you break up? And he said it wasn’t because he didn’t liked me, it had to be because he was tired of my immature ways and travels. In the begins of this year, I started not to answer to my ex because he would send me random snaps or funny images. He didn’t send me something about him or a specific message about us, so I felt annoyed by his behaviour. I was just starting to care again and he didn’t show real interest in me. Until June, he would message me and I would be cold. So we were on and on. Talking and not talking. He always initiated the contact. By June, he was saying how he missed our intimate time and how he had been with other girls but it was not the same because it lacked the emotional bond we had and we could see each other and maybe try something out again. I told him I was with someone, not boyfriend, but seeing if it worked out, so I wouldn’t be with me like that. And even if I was single, I wouldn’t be just a one night stand girl. He wished me luck. But kept insisting on being with me. One day he said he wanted to be with me to talk and I agreed. We both needed closure if we wanted to be friends. I asked him “if you were interested in me all this time, why didn’t you invite for a coffee for example”. And he said “because you were saying you needed space and giving me the cold shoulder”. He was always touching me and putting my arms around him. And I kinda kicked him out of my house. When he arrived home, he messaged me. And we have been talking every that for weeks. Last Friday, after me and the guy I was seeing broke up (wish my ex doesn’t know for sure just assumes it), we were together and he kept trying to have sex. I said no and we just kissed and made out. After he left, we talked again but he seemed kinda angry becuase we didn’t have sex and I told him that it didn’t happen becuase that is special for me and it would get emotional and I didn’t want to fall again. After that he would send me very short messages and I stopped answering last night. So the conversation ended like this:
    – (me) “Do you remember when we went to that mountain trip?”
    (Where we had so much fun, for I’m to remember our good moments).
    – “(Him) Yes, of course girl”
    – “(Me) we ended up not going to the lake there that you wanted to visit”
    – (him) “yeah, we didn’t”

    Since he seemed kinda bored, I stopped answering. Now I don’t know if I should try or just let this go. Because maybe he just wants sex and since I’m not giving it he seems bored and I’m scared to fall in love again

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 5, 2017 at 4:58 pm

      Hi Avy,

      Actually it’s so obvious that he just wants sex..

  13. Lilly

    June 25, 2017 at 2:29 am

    I tried the emotional text example and I can’t tell if it was a good result….

    Me: can I just say something

    Him: for sure

    Me: I’m so glad you and I are talking like this. It’s been really nice and I enjoy you as a person

    Him: I totally agree haha, it’s been nice

    Seemed like he was just being polite?
    We are talking seminregularly as friends but I don’t know how to break the barrier and make him want me to be his girlfriend again…

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 29, 2017 at 5:43 am

      Talk about interesting stuff for him.. That’s kind of a positive response from him but it’s like he just agreed with you

  14. Elsshse

    June 20, 2017 at 5:06 am

    Hi. My boyfriend for 6 months broke up with me 2 weeks ago.
    At first he asked for space and time because according to him he got tired of dealing with me being clingy he got tired of loving me.
    It all started when he had a major problem with his family related to business. He got so busy that he almost didnt want to make time for me. I completely understand that and i have a big respect for his family. But it was my emotions that caused the break up.
    I became too moody, clingy but after a while i ALWAYS apologize for my bad behavior and i always tell him that im.still adjusting to this big change because their major problems right now reallly affected his lifestyle and our relationship.
    And going back, yes i did give him time and space NC for almost 5 days but during those five days NC , my friends contacted him asking he how he was, he told them he’s super lost he misses his self he’s tired of me tired of everything. My friends told me that and
    That made me contact him again, iasked him if that was true and he said yes. And he doesnt want to continue what we have anymore. He said he doesnt love me anymore and that I deserve someone better. After that message i initiated a talk personally because i didnt want to break up through “chat”. But he didnt want it. After that he didnt talk to me anymore he even deleted our pictures on his instagram
    And im still here after 2 weeks wondering if he would still change his mind if we still have a chance of getting back together. Idont know i feel.like was left hanging. What should i do now

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 23, 2017 at 1:23 pm

      Restart nc.. do at least 30 days, be active in improving yourself during and after nc while slowly building rapport and be active in posting

  15. Anna

    May 2, 2017 at 4:24 am

    Me and my ex boyfriend broke up 2 months ago and we’ve been together for a year. I went into no contact right after the break up. Recently we’ve been texting frequently and it’s been really positive; however I called him and he didn’t answer or return the call. What should I do now?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 2, 2017 at 7:00 pm

      wait 3-5 days before initiating a text again

  16. Anne

    March 4, 2017 at 6:13 pm

    My boyfriend and I were together for about six months. I broke it off with him eight days ago because he was not a good communicator and I was tired of initiating everything. He had some issues and those issues also got in the way of our relationship but we generally got along and I do like him. I I was fed up with his behavior and sold through text I told him how I felt and that I was hurt and that I would not be calling him or texting him anymore. He old me money and does have items of mine but I told him he can just drop them off and put them in my mailbox. We do not share any children together but I do want him back but he is very prideful am very stubborn I am also very prideful and stubborn so I refuse to call him and he refuses to call me but I do want him back. I can stick to the no contact rule but my fear is that I will never hear from him he told me he liked me he told me God sent him to me but we have not talked. What should I do

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 5, 2017 at 7:35 pm

      Hi Anne,

      it’s ok to initiate after nc, what matters most is that you’re the one ending it at high point because that means you’re in control.

  17. Shells

    February 12, 2017 at 5:14 pm

    Hi, My ex boyfriend and I have been broken up for 1 month now. He has reached out to me a few times. The last time I told him exactly how I felt and I don’t know if I screwed up. We were in a long distance relationship. He was in northern California and I was in southern California. He had a job opportunity in New York and the plan was for me to move up north for a few months then go with him to New York. The day he left he broke up with me. I had already made the move to northern California, where I am now. He called me everyday for awhile and I ignored them. He also deleted me on social media and tried to readd me, I took him off Snapchat a few days ago, because I don’t want to see what he’s doing. Now our only form of contact would be texting or calling. I saw he added his ex before me and I don’t know what to do. He called me two days ago, and I didn’t answer, I really want to talk to him, but I don’t know what to say. I am upset because I moved for him and got left behind. I don’t know if I should use nc again, or what?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 13, 2017 at 10:46 pm

      Hi Shells,
      if you improved yourself, and you didn’t answer him all throughout the no contact period, then it’s time to build rapport. It doesn’t matter if he added his ex.. What matters is you continuously improve yourself even after nc, you’re more rational, you have good conversations and you’re always the one ending the conversations in high note..if you feel you need to extend to 45 days, that’s ok.. check this one:
      EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message

  18. Mutiara

    December 21, 2016 at 3:38 am

    Dear Admins,
    My name is Mutiara, i am 23 years old from Indonesia.
    about a month ago, me and my bf broke up..
    he broke up with me..
    it was because my stupidity..
    i was trigger him to said the break up things, because of my lack of emotions..
    i wasn’t understand his condition and just think about mine..
    i want to getting him back.. what can i do for it?
    he was the best bf i could ever have..
    i want to changed all my negative behavior..
    i want to have a strong foundation with him.. i really love him.. i really do..
    i miss him everysingle of my day..

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 24, 2016 at 6:39 am

      Hi Mutiara,

      when did you break up? are you going to do the no contact rule?

  19. Jasmine

    November 3, 2016 at 4:37 pm

    I need help me and my ex boyfriend broke up because I had to move 35 minutes away from him after my car accident we really not getting along. At the moment but he would call me one minute then put me back on the block list and I won’t here from him and about a week… so far I haven’t heard nothing from him he blocked me from his messenger but still want to see my page should unblock his number and block him on fb as well ??

    1. Sierra

      December 1, 2016 at 12:19 pm

      So I have a question should I use the 30 day NC? The only reason why I haven’t since we spoken is because we haven’t spoken for 4 months and I did implement the NC rule during those 4 months and I think not talking to me he was obviously sad. And even after 7 day NC he stop putting up a front like he didn’t want to be with me he pretended before like he didn’t want to be together and now I have him saying that he does want to be together. I haven’t spoken to him in two days I personally feel like he does this so he’s not too available for me. Because I know for a fact he doesn’t chase anyone for a friendship the fact that I tried to walk away and he chased me to stay in his life he obviously cares because men don’t do that for someone they don’t care about. The hard part is getting him to initiate conversation first. I’m more aggressive than he is so maybe that’s why lols

    2. Sierra

      November 30, 2016 at 1:03 am

      Yeah believe it or not I really read almost every article on this website and I actually read the article you written about six ways to see if you are close to getting your ex back and one of the things that you mentioned was if he can admit to things he did wrong in the relationship and the funny thing is that he said that what he did as far as blocking me was cruel. To be honest I haven’t been implementing my game plan properly so that’s probably why it was failing but I won’t contact him or initiate conversation first because he actually does the same thing with his friends I just feel like I kind of have to train him on how to be in a real relationship because prior to me he hasn’t ever been in one not making excuses

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 5, 2016 at 7:01 pm

      Hi Jasmine,

      when did you break up? even if you’re blocked that doesnt mean you’re already in no contact rule.. You have to start the count yourself and you have to focus in improving yourself..that means if he calls, you wont answer.. and itbwould be better if you dont block..if you unblock him, dont send a friend request

  20. Sierra

    November 1, 2016 at 3:23 am

    Hey Amor,
    I don’t know if you remember me at all but I spoke with you last week. I told you about the story on how my ex boyfriend and I broke up because I lied to him and he felt as if he couldn’t trust me. So not only did he break up with me but he went as far as blocking me in every way possible (phone and facebook). Well I have news for you, he finally unblocked me after four months of our break up. Now he doesn’t know that I know he has unblocked me, but I found out that he still has my old posts that I sent to him back when were dating on his facebook page (you know cutesy couple stuff). My question is what do I do next? I am not sure why he has unblocked me, but my birthday is this upcoming Friday. So should I contact him or should I wait it out to see if he contacts me? Not to sound like a spoil brat but I feel like he should contact me since he was the one who blocked me in the first place am I wrong? Thanks

    1. Sierra

      December 26, 2016 at 11:28 am

      So Amor I ran into a big problem my ex and I got into a misunderstanding. When I hinted towards the fact that he should come see me he said “We will get to plan that out eventually, but just know that you’re special to me” now I didn’t take it the right way because it can mean exactly what he said or he could be blowing me off. So I told him this is the last chance I am giving us a shot. Now ever since we’ve talked I’ve been distant in a sense of me focusing on my wants and not really chasing him but I also have stopped talking to him and told him to never speak to me again only to have a week go by and I come back lols. (I know I’m crazy) so he didn’t take me saying that very well about it being the last chance because I don’t want to continue down this endless cycle. So I kind of pressured him to tell me the truth that he didn’t want to be in a relationship right now which tbh I don’t either but I want a promise of a future together now we’ve decided to take things slow again and try to be friends for right now and not put so much pressure on the future. But I don’t want to be friend zoned and here’s the thing he checks up on me on Facebook he will look at who I’m talking to not guys per say but he will mention something about my page also we decided not to flirt so much although I know he’s really attracted to me and he said that I’ve hurt him when I leave and I now I understand why he doesn’t want to be in a relationship right is because he’s going through a tough time with his family and friends I’m in a rock and a hard place what can I do?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 29, 2016 at 3:39 am

      if you really dont want to be in a relatinship right now, just be friendly and let go of the expectation if he wants to be back or not.. If the friendship grows that’s good, if not,then move on

    3. Sierra

      December 19, 2016 at 2:02 am

      So it’s been going really well lately we’ve been building good rapport he hasn’t thrown any dates to come see me yet but has mentioned us going to North Carolina and Florida together. I just want to know what is a good amount to wait and see if he really does want to be in a relationship?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 22, 2016 at 9:39 am

      it’s just been a week right? continue building more rapport until you can transition to calls and then build more rapport and attraction first, so that it would be more natural to meet up, start with a friendly meet up first, not a romantic date

    5. Sierra

      December 15, 2016 at 1:32 pm

      Right because it was weird on Monday we messaged each other briefly and when I sent a message he didn’t reply and then Tuesday night he messages me so I tried to reach out yesterday to be honest my message wasn’t that interesting so I kind of understand but it’s still rude

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 16, 2016 at 11:41 am

      Yeah it is rude to just ignore but maybe he didn’t mean..he just wasnt that interested then maybe he was also doing something else when you texted, so it was easy to forget to text you

    7. Sierra

      December 15, 2016 at 12:22 pm

      Hey Amor,

      The problem I keep running into is the fact that when sometimes when we are messaging he doesn’t respond back. So I decided to wait a few days to talk to him this week we’ve been talking three days in a row

    8. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 15, 2016 at 12:29 pm

      It depends.. Because you cant keep waiting a few days always. If he doesnt respond back today, try again tomorrow. If he still doesnt respond then observe for the last time if it takes days again for him to reply you have to move on because it’s not progressing
      .

    9. Sierra

      December 9, 2016 at 12:41 pm

      No I completely understand where you are coming from when you were talking about moving too fast because I think the problem for us is that we weren’t giving each other enough space to miss one another so we would get on each other’s nerves towards the end of the relationship and start fighting so I think for us space not too much but space is needed.

    10. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 12, 2016 at 5:36 pm

      That’s good. So, this time, just take it slow and enjoy

    11. Sierra

      December 9, 2016 at 2:44 am

      Yeah and that’s why I want to take it slow with him. And I can tell he’s doing the same thing. We’ve flirted a lot with each other and today I told him in a nice way that I’m not looking for a fling that I have to respect myself enough to not just have plain sex and he said he respects that. He actually contacted me today after five days of not talking I haven’t reached out to him ever since you said stop but what I’m finding is that every time that we talk he likes to have deep meaningful conversations about accomplishing goals and being motivated so I think it’s coming along I’m just not really a patient person so I go crazy sometimes with not knowing

    12. Sierra

      December 5, 2016 at 7:04 pm

      Ok I will do that. So I’m trying to figure out what type of man my ex is if you could probably help me. You see when we were dating we moved pretty fast, and what I mean by that is he immediately like feel in love with me he was the one who brought up kids, marriage and wanted to move to Massachusetts with me. And I read the article Chris written about using male psychology to get an ex back and one of the types of men he mentions is the super committed and it’s funny because in the beginning there was a couple of times where he would get upset or feel a certain way about how I wasn’t falling in love as fast as he was then it was equal later on. Does it sound like he’s the SC guy or was?

    13. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 8, 2016 at 10:16 pm

      Yeah, sometimes, aside from the type of guys.. It’s common that when somebody moves too fast at first, the honeymoon phase will end early for them as well. It’s like the candle burned faster because the fire is too strong.

    14. Sierra

      December 4, 2016 at 5:08 pm

      Ok good the next time I talk to him my plan is to make him feel old feelings the suggestion Chris gives in trying to get an ex to recommit is that a good idea or save that for later?

    15. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 5, 2016 at 11:47 am

      save it for later, if you meet in person, that’s when you try be a little bit more touchy..

    16. Sierra

      December 3, 2016 at 10:43 pm

      And another thing he keeps asking am I ok and I used the ask him a favor message because he does personal training on the side since I have tendinitis I asked him what excercises I could do and he gave me a lot of recommendations he also said he would get something together for me to do then he made me promise him I would take it easy for my recovery lols

    17. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 4, 2016 at 3:27 pm

      Ah it’s ok to reply..better if you end the conversation. And him helping you is good too because it helps you bond

    18. Sierra

      December 3, 2016 at 10:37 pm

      Ummmm…. I’m not sure but I think he meant reply back later because when I ended the conversation I said I will have to continue this conversation later I’m getting ready to go to class

    19. Sierra

      December 3, 2016 at 4:00 pm

      So Amor great news after four days my ex finally contacts me and we started talking or messaging. He said that the reason why he hasn’t been blowing my inbox up is because he knows how busy I am with school and work. I told him that him sending a message isn’t going to derail my whole schedule lols. I used a little seduction tactic he wants me to message him later but I shouldn’t right?

    20. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 3, 2016 at 5:35 pm

      He wants you to message him? Did he mean he wants you to reply or he wants you to initiate? If initiate, don’t..

    21. Sierra

      December 1, 2016 at 12:29 pm

      Crap I did it again sorry! Ok I asked if I should do the 30 day NC on my ex? The only reason why I haven’t done that since we’ve been talking is because four months went by without us talking and I did implement the NC rule during that time. Unfortunately I know him all too well and before and during our relationship I had to tell him to call me more so we can talk he’s not much of a communicator like as far as reaching out goes I’m more aggressive when it comes to reaching out to people than he is I have gone two days without talking or reaching out to him now the last time it was half of a day and he contacted me. My strategy is to get him to contact me more often by not always initiating conversation first by not being too available whenever he sends a message

    22. EBR Team Member: Amor

      December 1, 2016 at 12:35 pm

      It’s alright. No worries! I don’t think you do nc this time but you need to invest more in your own activities. If you do talk or meet, make it fun. So, that you only have good impressions on him

    23. Sierra

      November 30, 2016 at 1:23 am

      Sorry wrong post above lols. But yes the reason why I even reconsidered giving it another try is because although it doesn’t sound like it I know deep down he does care and after the last conversation we had he was able to admit his wrongs in the relationship and that’s really big for him because he never would admit he was wrong during our relationship he said that blocking was cruel and he sort of opened up to me more which I feel is a good sign. I read your article (I read a lot of articles on this website will get the book soon) but the six ways to know if you’re close to getting an ex back and one of the things you said was that if he can admit his faults in the relationship that’s really big because men are very stubborn and he did happen to apologize so please don’t give up on me Amor. I haven’t been implementing the right game plan because I feel like he’s so use to me initiating conversation that he doesn’t do that even with his friends he doesn’t contact them so I really need some support

    24. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 30, 2016 at 7:28 pm

      It’s ok! I read it too.. That’s why I want you to take it slow.. So, that you’ll know if he really is serious and you won’t be committing mistakes because of rushing.

    25. Sierra

      November 29, 2016 at 10:18 pm

      What you just said really scares me because I thought I was getting somewhere now I’m back in limbo. I’ve been talking to other guys to really not put my eggs in one basket. The truth is he’s selfish maybe not all the time or majority of it so I think the best thing for me to do is to not contact him and ignore him it’s sad I feel like I have to do all of this like after 7 days of not talking he wants to admit that he never said I don’t ever want to be in a relationship with you which is true but that I want to take it slow so idk if im being played with or not but I’m not going to stress over this anymore

    26. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2016 at 10:24 pm

      yeah, don’t stress over it.. You know, if he really loves you, he’ll respect and value you. Maybe he’s being immature.. It doesn’t mean he can’t change, but that doesn’t mean he will change anytime soon too. YOu have to be strong and intuitive if he’s just stringing you along.

    27. Sierra

      November 29, 2016 at 9:45 pm

      I agree it was selfish so I mean should I just give up? Am I wasting my time? I mean I was able to get him to open up and tell me the truth from what I can tell. I’m so confused Amor part of me wants to confront him and the other part of me wants to just sit back and watch his actions.

    28. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2016 at 10:21 pm

      For me you should move on from him but seeing that you don’t want to, the best I can advice is to take it slow and be cautious.

    29. Sierra

      November 28, 2016 at 9:50 pm

      Well I do some news idk if it’s good or bad but we talked on the phone we straighten everything out he told me he was trying to see where things were going instead of jumping back into a relationship which is not what I want either and he said the best way is for us to be friends first which I’m not comfortable with just yet he said he understands. He said that he was trying to test me to see if I would love him unconditionally when he brought up another girl, I told him that it was disrespectful to do that when we were obviously being very emotional with one another the night before so he apologized. But we are taking this slow we can talk about almost anything he’s definitely grown from what I can tell he’s more motivated about his career than before. The problem is I’m not getting any support from my sister or therapist the only person who supports this is on of my friends

    30. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 29, 2016 at 6:46 pm

      That test of his selfish.. He doesn’t want love, he wants someone to chase him, idolize him.. That’s a very big red flag.. If you really still want to try, I agree on taking it slow but you have to be careful not being a chaser..

    31. Sierra

      November 27, 2016 at 4:16 pm

      Amor,
      So yesterday I messaged my ex after 7 days of NC I was following the article for exes that want to use you and that’s what it said. But I don’t want to be in a relationship with anybody right now including him so I never told you this but my ex lives in a different state and when we were dating we were planning on meeting each other but we broke up before that even happened. So when I messaged him yesterday I asked him would he like that opportunity to meet finally and he said he was confused because the last time we spoke I told him to never talk to me again. I just want to meet and not have any expectations not wanting to say I want to be his friend or anything more that’s what I told him. Was that a dumb move?

    32. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 27, 2016 at 7:04 pm

      I think you need to build rapport first, before asking to meet. So, that it wouldn’t be awkward and confusing.

    33. Sierra

      November 26, 2016 at 12:53 pm

      Another thing I’m going to visit a college in Massachusetts in March would it be a bad idea if by that time I ask him to come visit me? Not asking him now but like almost a month in advance? Or just forget about it?

    34. Sierra

      November 25, 2016 at 9:24 pm

      OMG! Amor you are so right I’m the only girl who I feel like has given him a challenge and one thing that didn’t click to me is that he’s friends with all of these girls but doesn’t really have an emotional connection with them like me so it’s just so he can have the company because I said I feel like I don’t have anyone in my corner to him and he said wouldn’t it be nice if we had each other in our lives for when you feel that way but as “FRIENDS” thanks Amor I really appreciate the feedback

    35. Sierra

      November 25, 2016 at 9:23 pm

      OMG! Amor you are so right I’m the only girl who I feel like has given him a challenge and one thing that didn’t click to me is that he’s friends with all of these girls but doesn’t really have an emotional connection with them like me so it’s just so he can have the company because I said I feel like I don’t have anyone in my corner to him and he said wouldn’t it be nice if we had each other in our lives for when you feel that way but as “FRIENDS”

    36. Sierra

      November 23, 2016 at 11:54 am

      I have an interesting question why would my ex boyfriend put me or want to put me in the friendzone? You see I think after the breakup he thought he was better than me and thought I would be on his tip and from what he was showing me or what he was trying to show me was that he’s moved on. I know that he isn’t looking to really date someone because he’s way too afraid to get into a relationship because he’s been hurt and he acts like an ass as a defense mechanism and I don’t put up with it even during the relationship so he would be sweet towards me. If you guys can write an article that gives the guide to getting an ex boyfriend back that is really guarded with his heart that would be great

    37. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 25, 2016 at 4:43 pm

      Thanks for the suggestion! I’ll forward that to Chris. Most of the time it’s for validation or company.. He doesnt want commitment but that doesnt mean he wants to be alone

    38. Sierra

      November 23, 2016 at 3:52 am

      Exactly and I didn’t give him an ultimatum but I just told him that this isn’t for me. He wants to keep me around but doesn’t want to ever commit

    39. Sierra

      November 22, 2016 at 2:04 pm

      You know Amor he’s become this social butterfly that he wasn’t when we were dating he’s talking to all these girls and it’s more than likely to feed his ego and I never did that when we were talking before dating he flirts a lot with women and i just feel like by being his friend it’s going to put me in a spot where I’m always available to him by not being his friend and cutting him off he knows how to treat me if we ever cross paths again. I mean the fact that when I tried to walk away and he frantically called me right after that has to mean something right?

    40. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 23, 2016 at 1:55 am

      Oh..I think you should stop now or at least stop for a long time because he just really wants to friendzone you

    41. Sierra

      November 21, 2016 at 5:25 pm

      Amor,
      I essentially told him that I couldn’t be his friend and he called me to make me reconsider and I told him that I’m having a very difficult week we talked it out and he was being very sensitive towards me and I did reconsider it. The next day he tells me about a girl he met online and I told him I couldn’t do this whole friendship thing he tried to get me to reconsider again but I told him I can’t do it my heart is not in the right place and he told me he couldn’t be my boyfriend right now what does that mean? He also said that if he was to get into a relationship if we were friends if his gf couldn’t except me being in his life than it would be over between them idk what that means either? He was giving me mixed signals so I had to end it did I make the right decision?

    42. Sierra

      November 19, 2016 at 12:37 am

      He also gave me his schedule the best times to call and ask for the best times to call me. I told him in the beginning I’m not trying to get into the whole FWB thing and I truly don’t see him doing that but he has major trust issues and I feel like he’s keeping me at an arms length right now and don’t know what my next move should be

    43. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 21, 2016 at 4:25 pm

      Use it to your advantage..be friendly but dont always be available. be the ungettable girl.. Have fun talking but have more fun in your own time..

    44. Sierra

      November 19, 2016 at 12:00 am

      He did happen to call me and he said that he really wants me to be his friend and I told him after we got off the phone in a message that I will have to think about it. Idk if I should give up or if be his friend but what if I get stuck in the friends zone? I knew it would take some time because he’s stubborn but I never thought he would keep throwing that friend label around as much as he did today . I told him I don’t want to be his back up and he said that he values me more than that to use me for something physical. Amor what should I do? Does this mean I don’t have a chance anymore?

    45. Sierra

      November 17, 2016 at 5:23 pm

      I ran into another problem. I sent a message to my ex saying that “I have something really interesting to tell you can we speak on the phone?” And he responded hours later asking me to send him my number. Now my ex boyfriend hates talking on the phone but I thought we were having fun messaging and thought it would be an easy transition into phone calls well it wasn’t now we aren’t speaking I haven’t been sending him any messages I’m trying to do a 7 day NC rule and if he doesn’t respond I will do two weeks. We’ve had eight conversations through messaging did I ask too soon to talk on the phone? Back when we were dating we would talk on the phone for hours so idk if he just thought that I wanted to speak on the phone to trick him into talking for hours. What should I do?

    46. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 18, 2016 at 10:58 pm

      Did you talk on the phone after you gave your number to him? Did it go well? If it did, then dont worry. If he didn’t call, what did you talk about?

    47. Sierra

      November 15, 2016 at 10:52 pm

      Thanks Amor that’s exactly what I did I played with it a bit so it wasn’t so serious I agree I should just be light. I appreciate the feedback thanks

    48. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 15, 2016 at 11:04 pm

      That’s good! Just keep it like that. You’re welcome!

    49. Sierra

      November 15, 2016 at 6:53 pm

      I told him if he wants to be intimate or touch me he will have to put in the work. We are getting to the next level of talking on the phone, when I speak to him on the phone should I mention that he needs to not flirt with me even though he doesn’t flirt with me a lot? I just don’t want him to think that he can sleep with me anytime he wants.

    50. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 15, 2016 at 10:31 pm

      Hmm.. I think it would be better if you say that in a humorous way. At least, it doesn’t sound too serious and it wont hurt him at the same time you’re conveying your standards. When he starts being flirty, play with it. When he says he wants to sleep with you, tell him, “Of course you do! But it’s a VIP pass.. do you have the pass? ;))
      If he asks what’s the pass, tell him, “Ooohh it needs a lot of (coffee) points.” I like coffee.. but it’s just another term for date. Play around with it.

    51. Sierra

      November 14, 2016 at 2:37 am

      Amor,

      The funniest thing just happened today I didn’t message him all day and he finally sent me a message. The only problem that I can think of is that he flirted with me a little bit today which I read the article about flirtrattraction. I told him that he will have to put in work was that a bad idea?

    52. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 15, 2016 at 6:13 pm

      hmmm… how did you tell him?

    53. Sierra

      November 8, 2016 at 4:18 pm

      Do I wait for him to message me? Or do I reach out to him? The thing is that when we were courting one another most of the time I was the one who initiated most of the conversations and idk if I can get him to chase me

    54. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 11, 2016 at 9:43 pm

      you were courting each other? Wait two weeks, if he doesn’t initiate, you can..

    55. Sierra

      November 7, 2016 at 12:32 am

      Yes I was acting out on emotion because he didn’t remember my birthday and I was drinking so I just was being emotional and not thinking clearly. But I guess the good news and that it seemed as if he kind of missed me and it sounded like he was probably doing the same thing like trying to convince me that he’s moved on. When he said certain things like don’t be mad at me for not remembering your birthday because he has a bad memory (brain injury) I didn’t say anything back I just kept talking about how good the food was when I went out with my friends for my birthday. Once we got out of that conversation of how things went he switched the conversation into a more lighter one. From what I’ve told you, does it seem like what I was doing was working?

    56. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 7, 2016 at 6:43 pm

      Yeah, just continue building rapport through texts first and then calls later on and then meet ups

    57. Sierra

      November 6, 2016 at 4:27 pm

      Hey so a funny thing happened when he unblocked me my old posts were now visible on his Facebook page and he liked them and a couple of days ago I just got upset and messaged him letting him know that I’m in a better stage in my life and that I don’t want to play games or get into a relationship. He said he was very proud of my accomplishments he said it three times. My question is did I make a mistake by messaging him? And what do I do next?

    58. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 7, 2016 at 12:04 am

      You messaged him in your birthday? Yes, it was a mistake. Not because it was sent in your birthday but because the message sounded like you were just trying to convince him… If you really moved on, you wouldnt say that.. if you still want to try, just continue on being active, and dont open that topic again. Be friendly and talk about other topics.

    59. Sierra

      November 5, 2016 at 5:48 pm

      So yesterday was my birthday and my ex never wished me a happy birthday so I got upset the day before my birthday he liked an old post of mine that was on his wall. So I just got upset and told him that I don’t to go down this road of us getting back together and that I’m done. So he messaged me back said that that was fine we wished each other well but he bated me into a conversation I used one of the tricks I learned on here about getting him to trust me again by reinstating that I like it when we are being honest with one another but did I make a mistake by messaging him. He says that he’s really proud of me and my accomplishments but idk what that means and I don’t know if I even want to get back together what should I do?

    60. Sierra

      November 2, 2016 at 1:10 am

      Thank you. Now what are the next steps I should take? Besides playing it cool and not messaging him lols

    61. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 3, 2016 at 1:08 pm

      you just really have to go back in your activities..like somebody who has moved on

    62. EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 1, 2016 at 7:49 pm

      Hi Sierra,

      I actually agree that you shouldn’t message him first this time.. If you message him first now, it would look like you’re waiting for him to unblock you.

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