7 Definitive Steps On How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You

5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

Lilu

December 2, 2015 at 9:17 pm

Hi. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for two years and we are in college. Recently, we got into an argument because it seems like every time his friends come home for break, we end up fighting because he ditches the plans he already had with me. We both have a temper, so sometimes a small fight like this can blow up, as it did, and usually things that we don’t mean are said. I tried running after him, but he left me crying on the sidewalk all alone and didn’t come back. I know he loves me and was just angry, but I have not spoken to him for a week because I told him that wasn’t okay, and he responded by saying he’s tired of me being upset and him having to care about me basically and he said that I said rude things to him, even though he did also. It’s almost the holidays, and I do miss him a lot, and I really really thought by now he would’ve made some sort of apologetic move considering I have already apologized for everything I said/did.
It has been a week and one day. What should I do now?
Sabrina

December 2, 2015 at 4:38 pm

Hi Chris! I was with my ex for 3 years, we’re both in our 20s and we never had anyone before us. He was my best-friend and I was his. He would move mountains for me, I would do the same. We didn’t have any major problems and always solved any annoyances quickly. After 3 years I think he -pussied out- because he wanted to fuck other girls, I gave him a 10days freepass but he didnt want that. Long story short, because of a friend’s unlucky relationship, he started doubting in ours, started flirting with another girl and fell ”in love”. (This happened within 2 weeks!!!). He broke up with me. He doesn’t want to be with the other girl (he admits i’m hotter, prettier), I think he just wants to have ”fun”/he’s scared. While I got into the best shape in my life, he got fat. I know he will be sorry. I think we are a great fit, I think I want him back, or atleast stay friends. I screwed up, the day after he broke up with me i texted him and begged him/asked him if he was really sure to break up with me, he didn’t reply. I think he’s sick of me. Should I just apply the no contact rule now, or would it be more effective if I wrote something along the lines ”it’s alright, i’ll be over you” ??? Please help!!!

Chris Seiter

December 3, 2015 at 4:46 am

Definitely no contact rule and dont tell him you are doing it. Why would you ever give him a pass?? Don’t lower yourself like that, he wont respect you if you do.

Amanda

December 2, 2015 at 6:08 am

I’ve been dating a guy for about 3 months, we are 1.5 hours apart. We hung out a lot in the beginning but my grad school and work and his work and child (I have 2 children as well) started making it hard for time to connect in person. We spoke every day and it was all wonderful. We sent photos, snap chat, sexual texting to keep it alive and just enjoying eachother’s day by day company. Last week we were supposed to meet but the company he works for is failing and a meeting ran late. I was waiting for him to call so I could drive up when he was ready but 3 hours later he sent a sincere apology. I was kind about it at first but basically became a needy girl and a turn off for sure. After 3 days of being quiet for the first time, i sent him a text to start his morning off right that gave him a mental picture of how we would start the day if we were together….he commented back favorably and said he wished so bad i was there. A short time later he said I deserved better than him and better things than he could give me and more time than he can give me. My response was “I wish you would call me”.

I gave myself a day to respond and told him I was wanting to talk over the phone to make sure I knew what his mind frame was but decided to go ahead and text. I said if he needed reassurance that I was ok with this distance and wanted to see it thru, but if he was not wanting to do it anymore then I would understand that too. (There was more meat to it but thats the short version..I let him know i knew this would be hard but as we grew closer it was evident it was worth the effort).That was a Monday night I sent that (one day ago) I haven’t heard back (he has his son and doesn’t text much when he has him) but his company is also going belly up so he’s stressed and feels inadequate and has been feeling really down about his career. Idk if he is giving up because his career is going down the tubes and that’s hard on a guy or if he just can’t do us anymore. He said he feels like the world is against him … and us.
I think I have decided to do no contact after sending my text that basically reassured him I was wanting this but also gave him an ok to walk away if he meant he wanted to. I dont want to stress him more but mostly i want him to figure tgis out himself based on how he feels…not me pushing the issue! I’m not sure for how long. 30 may be a little extreme but that’s where you come Into play. I have, and have read your 3 books/Guides but still wonder is NC with a distance still a good idea? If he responds favorably and wants to continue do I break the NC? And …… I have met his son and my daughter picked out a hat and gloves and made a card for his son last week before this happened and we were planning to mail it…should I wait? And should I disappear from snapchat stories as well since he checks mine or would those be a benefit in that he would see that my life is still going on? (I kind of thought it would make him see what he has decided and make him miss me more if he saw and heard NOTHING of me…)

Help please…
Thank you! !
Deborah

December 2, 2015 at 1:40 am

Hi Chris,
I’ve been seeing my boyfriend just over 2 months. We really have spent a lot of time together. Problems are, he drinks way too much, he never wants to take me out and one time when he was drunk he accidentally showed me his phone (no, I didn’t go through it) and there were texts he sent to his ex that said he loved her and he wanted to be with her. So, I tried to end things with him, he apologized and said he’d never do it again. I forgave him, but realized I just can’t trust him. So I had to end things. Is this considered cheating and should I give him another chance?
kayd

December 2, 2015 at 1:08 am

Hi Chris,

I dont know if I would still get a chance to get my ex boyfriend back, I already pleaded and begged for his Love back…

He broke up with me just a month ago and ive flooded him messages and calls and didnt even got a response… I even traveled going to his work thought he would change his mind once he sees me but nothing changed still same answer that its over theres nothing i could do to change his mind…

The main reason we broke up is he just wanted time for himself… that he is tired of me… cause we always fought over little things for me being a siper jealous girlfriend…

And the fact that he is chinese and his family wants him to marry with chinese woman… so that their legacy and tradition would live…

I stayed even if i know its not worth it anymore cause he cant fight for me… he also said that he cant picture our future to be husband and wife… i still love him even if the reason is already obvious that in the end we will never end up together…

I said to him that future doesnt matter cause im still hoping maybe maybe if we work things out regarding what made him fall out of love… there could be a chance that he would change his mind and fight for me…
Marie

December 1, 2015 at 4:19 am

Hi Chris,
I was with my boyfriend for a month, he was all about me from the start, saying how much I meant to him and that I was sent to him for a reason. Then one day he became distant and I asked if he was ready for a relationship (even though he wanted to be committed to me after 2 weeks of dating) and he said he didn’t think he was ready.
We agreed to be in each other’s lives after 2 weeks of not talking. He says he misses me and spending time with me, but I feel as if he is just saying that. He is very impulsive, booking last minute trips every week, etc. is it even worth trying to get him back?
We had such a respectful relationship until that last day, what do you suggest?
Thank you.
SMJ

November 30, 2015 at 6:47 am

hi. my bf of a year and two weeks broke up with me couple days ago….he said he didn’t think he could make me happy and that he wasnt happy in our relationship. he left me a card that was sweet and said” he would always love me” when he picked up his stuff. do i say thank you for it or no? im not sure why he even left it. i want him back really badly.

Chris Seiter

December 2, 2015 at 12:35 am

No do no contact for 21 days and then reach out to him regarding something totally different.

Marie

November 25, 2015 at 2:49 pm

I became very close friends with a guy. For over a year, he texted me extensively throughout the day, and called me his “best friend”. Gradually, our friendship evolved into a physical relationship. He now has distanced himself and no longer texts or makes any attempt to contact me. I texted him a few days ago and told him I miss the friendship we once had. He responded that he’s not “feeling it” and does not miss me. Do you believe that the No Contact rule may help my situation? Thank you for your time.#

Chris Seiter

December 2, 2015 at 5:37 am

Yes I think no contact can help but your going to have to work at getting back with him. No sex until your in a relationship. 🙂 Do you know why he isn’t feeling it anymore? Was it right after being physical?

lisa

November 24, 2015 at 11:33 pm

Hello, Kevin I was just scrolling through the comments, they are all interesting and it’s encouraging to know I am NOT ALONE. My situation is a bit different. My ex and I were together for 7 months, we live four hours apart. We just stopped in June there was no real closure or reason. We were actually making plans to move closer together, things just became.a little complicated. Anyway there was NC on either end for 4 months, then I reached our to him via letter/card. He was happy and excited to hear from me, we communicated for about 3 weeks. I made the mistake of ASKING him if he wanted to work things out, he said No, he was not interested in a Relationship, so I cut off all contact, I said was not willing to just be friends, plus I belittle he is seeing someone else. Now, is my situation hopeless, should I just challk it up as a total lost, or not.

Chris Seiter

December 2, 2015 at 6:35 am

Hi My name is Chris.

May

November 24, 2015 at 7:40 pm

Hello Mr. Chris.
I’m a fifteen year old, into day 6 of no contact, fresh out of an 8 month relationship.
I always wonder what to do when my ex, also fifteen tries to have eye contact with me and makes playful faces at me during class. I have always been strictly straight faced and ignoring him when he does that, but is that the correct way to deal with those situations?
Thankyou!
Debbie Haas

November 24, 2015 at 3:43 pm

Hi Chris, – so my boyfriend broke up with me for months we fight about his divorce…and he took his belonging, but left a few things.. he said he wants space and will contact me in two weeks after his court date – my gut is he won’t then he said I need to focus on my anger and then there is a chance for us… I feel that the no contact rule he will forget about me – this was his choice – yes I begged, this happened yesterday, I haven’t texted since…my concern is he will go back to his wife – we have been together for a yest – but he has chased me for 27 years…:) – now I’m wondering am I the ex or is his wife the ex… I’m worried he will tell her and the will fix things up…will the no contact rule work even with this scenario

Chris Seiter

December 2, 2015 at 6:51 am

Ah dating a married man is never a good idea.

He will not forget about you after the divorce. Do no contact for 21 days. This is your best shot at showing him your value.

Elsa

November 24, 2015 at 3:06 pm

Hey Chris,
My boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me on Nov. 1st 2015 (23 days ago), because he doesn’t love me like he used to anymore. He said we wants different things in life like I want kids and he doesn’t (but a couple of months ago when I went to the doctor, he specifically told me to ask the doctor if everything was ok for us to have kids).
Let me tell you our story:
We met at work 6 years ago, became friends and eventually fell in love and started dating on Christmas 2010.
After 5 months od us dating, he quit his job to try to find something better and had a hard time finding it so he was unemployed for 3,5 years. But I always supported him and we were always happy and had things to do and life was good. He lived with his mother and come to stay at my place on the weekends and one or two nights during the week, and we talked all day, every day.
In August 2014 he got a job in another country and stayed there for a whole year (only came home for vacations on Christmas and Easter – we even went on a trip to Morocco together in June and it was awesome), and then he returned on September 2015 and moved in with me. It was our first time ever REALLY living together.
And then, early October, we where joking about life and things and he suddenly said something like “kids?? no way…!”. I got upset and started to distance myself, instead of talking to him – stupid me, I see it now. But instead of trying to see why I was upset, he just pretended not to see it, and started to distance himself too.
I mean, by the end of the month we were almost two strangers living in the same house, we barely spoke and almost didn’t touch each other. And then on that awful Sunday, Nov. 1st, after we had lunch with my parents, he just approached me and said that there was no point in continuing to pretend we were invisible to each other and I thought “oh great, he noticed that I am sad and is going to make it better and give me a kiss and we will return to being happy” but then he continued saying that we wanted different things and that he didn’t was kids and he wanted to spend his life working in different countries around the world.
I said “ok, I never said I wouldn’t go with you” and then I can’t really remember the rest of the talk, he just started to pack his things and moved out…
Later that night and on the next morning I texted him like crazy, begging him to return so we could talk and he always replied things like “I can only offer you my support and friendship”, “have faith in yourself” and then he just said “sorry to say it like this but the truth is I don’s love you like I used to, anymore…”. That was like a knife on my heart… I haven’t spoke to him since then, since Nov. 2nd, and he has never tried to contact me. He lives in a different town so we don’t see each other anywhere or have mutual friends since he is kind a loner and doesn’t have many friends, so… all contact is lost between us, at the moment.
I don’t know what happened, how can I be the love of his life (his words, a couple of months ago when he was still working out of the country) for 5 years and then this…??
I am so desperate right now… I love him SO much, so much…
Is there any chance to reverse this? To get him back in love with me? To be happy again with him?
Please, help me….
Elsa
bonglih konyak

November 24, 2015 at 7:49 am

It has been a week since we broke up.if only i have seen your blog much earlier 🙁 . i didn’t had the NC rule n i didn’t try.after a day i was in self deniel about the end our our relationship.i keep calling him and texting him,thinking that it was just a usual argument. But it hit me hard when he went around telling my friends and family that it was all over.Yeah…i even beg him,well even cried my eyes out 🙂 but nothing happen. Now i heard him say that he just want us to be friends.He started calling me and replies to my massages and says he still have feelings for me but says can’t go back to where we were.i am confuse 🙁 i love him and i want him back.After reading your blog i might as well try doing the NC rule.i love your blog and it has lifted me up 🙂 thank u. Blessed You

Chris Seiter

December 3, 2015 at 5:58 am

Yes NC definitely. Sounds like it will work for you in this situation. I’d say 21 days. Thanks for reading! I’m glad I could help.

Ashley

November 24, 2015 at 7:01 am

Hi Chris!

So my boyfriend and I just broke up 2 days ago. We were together for 5 years and about a year and a half ago he broke up with me out of the blue because he was “doubtful” about me. I was devestated and resorted to contacting him for a week and a half non stop begging and pleading to try and fix our relationship. He would flat out ignore me and I realized finally that I was pushing him away and I just decided at that point to move on and enjoy my life. A couple weeks later, just when I was getting to the point of feeling better I was bombarded with texts and calls from him saying how much hes missed me and wants to talk and he loves me and on and on. We obviously got back together but this time around I don’t feel the same way. He is an avid hunter and fisherman and we got in an argument about an upcoming hunting trip that I thought was very financially irresponsible on his part. He immediately got very defensive and as the argument went on he ultimately said that he needed a break from our relationship because he is stressed out because of me. I got really angry because I knew that he had talked to his mother (his mother is another story, she is very manipulative and if I don’t kiss her feet or bow down to her every move she treats me really bad and has even went as far as trying to tear me and my boyfriend apart.) I know that he talked to hsi mom because she had told me that same “advice” months earlier when she incorrectly got the impression that her son and I were on the outs. I told him that if he had to take time away from our relationship instead of talking to me about it then I would rathe rjust break up because I felt like his hunting passion was more important than the relationshio that I invested with him fr the past five years. He said “Fine, then that’s your choice!” and grabbed his things and left to stay at his moms house. He is actually on the hunting trip right now and should be back in a couple days. I have decided that I will not contact him in the hopes that maybe he would see just howmuch he loves me/misses me but a small part of me is so afraid that he is going to leave me like the first time but this time never come back. It’s really confusing because I feel very torn on whether or not I should even waste anymore of my time on someone that is so easy to discard of me? 🙁

I know that time will fix everything so that is my small effort to comfort myself right now.
Danielle

November 23, 2015 at 2:27 am

Hi Chris,
I dated a guy for two months and at first he was perfect .. As time went by he stopped really trying and the more I called him out on it the worse the relationship got. I know two months is such a small amount of time, but I genuinely believe he is the guy for me. I broke up with him a week ago because of a misunderstanding, instead of asking him about it, I just ended it. I regret it and I told him, I wrote basically a book that he didn’t reply to.. Then when I asked him to say something he called me and told me that he still had feelings for me but he would never be with me again. Is there any hope?
Hannah

November 22, 2015 at 6:39 pm

Chris,
My boyfriend broke up with me about a two weeks ago after fighting a lot. I begged and wouldn’t leave him alone and soon realized that wasn’t going to win him back at all. I have done a lot of thinking and realized what I have to do on my part to make it better the next time, if there is a next time. I am going to try the No Contact Rule like you suggest…
Would waiting a month and contacting (texting) him on Christmas and just saying, “Merry Christmas, hope all is well” be good?
Do you think that’s a good started???
Shauna

November 19, 2015 at 12:25 pm

Hi, Chris
My boyfriend broke up with me 2 months ago and im absolutly devastated and im trying everything in my power to get him back i even done the wrong thing and begged so many times for him to come back, He broke up with me because he said his feelings have changed and that he doesnt love me but it only took him 3 weeks to decide this.
We have been texting and i asked him if he could give us a second chance and he said he wasnt sure he just wants us to be friends right now and i dont know if im able to be just friends but im so youst to texting him everyday and i can’t bare to think of him with another girl 🙁
He wont reply to me now and is very blunt with his responses if he does, he’s being very cold hearted with me i dont know what to do i want him back so bad i cant bare to think of life without him in mine or him with anyone else 🙁

Please help me,
Shauna.
KD

November 18, 2015 at 9:16 am

Hi
I’ve been seeing my next door neighbour for just over a month now (we are both in our 30’s) it was all great and despite my initial reservations I was starting to really like him and he seemed really keen. A few days ago he started to cool off on me and then I got a text 2 days ago saying “it happened all a bit quick and maybe only happened coz we live next door to each other” (ouch!)
So I haven’t replied or spoken to him since a view to do NC but if he’s not that keen is there any point?
Kaela

November 18, 2015 at 5:45 am

Hi Chris,
I just started reading your blog and advice and I am hooked! I love this, I can’t wait to show my girlfriends lol (and my sister would really need this) My boyfriend and I broke up a day ago for the second time. The first time we broke up in September after 3 and a half years, (he did the breaking up both times) and both times I was absolute crushed, totally heartbroken. In September after about almost 3 weeks of the breakup I invited him over to hangout, I had a free weekend and my girlfriends were working and I really missed him. He didn’t reply when I invited him about 4 days in advance and when the day of came I texted him again and said it was just one day and it wasn’t a big deal and he should just come over, in a flirty, joking way. He agreed and showed up and we laughed and talked…hooked up, had some wine and his friends picked him up later that night. He began texting me and chasing me but I made myself too easy…and we were acting like a couple and fighting and he ended it, again. I begged for him to stay the first time we broke up and this time I just offered to fix it and when he said no I did not bother to text him again. I had sent him a long message letting him know how much I loved him and he sent me a long one back and reassured me he wasn’t going to go out and look for anyone or go to anyone else because he wants to focus on himself. And knowing him I believe it is true, but I know how much he likes to go and have fun. He is very sensitive and angry. When I last replied to him today he didn’t reply and after reading your site I realized I was a “texting gnat” and sent him a message apologizing and wishing him the best. I set a date for the NC rule hoping it will work because he probably is guessing I will reach out to him again. BUT I am also afraid if I give him space will I lose him completely? He has late classes and either will respond late at night or not at all. I need help. My heart is broken and I want to contact him so bad. Is there hope for me? Our love never dies and when we meet up it is always magical. We have been through everything. He said he loves me and its hurting him to leave but we fought too much and thinks he hurts me too much and thinks we’ve tried a lot to make it work. (reality is we always talked about how we would make it work but never would actually try) Our love has never died, it always rekindles and when he saw me after our first breakup it was like he was in love with me all over again but the fighting led him away. I’m willing to do a lot to make myself better from this and to get him back. Its going to be really hard for me not to contact him but I’m hoping with your guidance, site, and books I can push myself to really do this. I just need your opinion, please. I would love to get his attention this time and have him reach out to me.
Nandi

November 17, 2015 at 4:57 pm

mine is different story my bf loved me first and later i accepted but after 1 year he said i am not his girl anymore and left. it broken my heart i loved him truely…but after one month of breakup he started new relationship…. it hurts me lot for 6 months i used to call him and beged so many times to not to end the relationship like this…but he always used to scold me and left me….i finally stopped calling him eventhough it is very much difficult for me i misses him a lot but i made up my mind and didn’t call for one month after one month he calls me and asking to be friends i said no ?? i can’t understand him he is still in relationship with other girl…. does he really love me now ?

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5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”