7 Definitive Steps On How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You

5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

Ellen

November 17, 2015 at 3:54 am

Hi,kev.I’m struggling to move on right now.I’ve been a mess for months and I never did the nc rule as I only read your site after I’ve been trying to get him back desperately.can I message you in private? Don’t feel comfortable to talk my private life here.i need help 🙁
Shay

November 15, 2015 at 9:27 pm

So, I’ve dated this guy when I was 14 freshman in high school and I broke up with him for his immature ways (I was his first girl friend) he was also my best friend since we were 4. Then few years go by (now 18 and a senior in high school), I had my fair share of relationships since the break up. Well we ended up getting back together in June. Well I left him last week, (once again immature ways but not so bad.), I also ended up taking his virginity over the summer, I mean I loved this boy since I was 14. Well now that we ended, he would text me saying “hey” and I’ll respond but being short. He would try and keep the conversation going but I’m short and he will be short back. Well he would stop replying after I say like “oh nice nice haha.” But he would contact me again the next day at night time saying “hey.” So he is contacting me but it is short talk. Well it’s been 3 days.. He never said hey yet. And it’s also the weekend. He only hangout with his cousins (so I’m not too worried.) I should also tell you I’m still the 1st girl he’s ever actually dated and kissed. But I don’t get it. With everything we’ve done I kind of expected him to be very attached and all over me. Especially the virginity thing. I was a little worried about a couple girls he could end up with, but they are taken. And they are way to faithful (checked his messages, he or them were not flirting.) but in a way it’s still a fear. Because I know he’s talking to them out of these last few days. I just havnt heard from him yet. And in school, we don’t talk really anymore, and I don’t know what to do tomorrow. Should I just avoid everywhere he might be and have him wonder where I am at?. Why hasn’t he contacted me yet..? Is it just the weekend and he’s doig whatever with his guy friends and cousins?.. I refuse to text him right now and I have a urge where I really want to. So does the NC rule also work for my situation and my maturity level (high school)? And if he does text me just keep ignoring it? I really could use advice.. It’s tearing me apart how he’s just not chasing me back like he has before…

raz

November 18, 2015 at 2:56 am

Hello Chris,
I found flirty text messages in my boyfriends phone. I immediately confronted him which turned into a heated argument. I would not let him leave. I texted and phoned desperately for two days. He told me he did not know about us and need time to think. We have not had any communication in 6 days. Can he still miss me and want me if he has someone else?

lily

November 15, 2015 at 3:45 pm

Hi Chris i recently broke up with my boyfriend, four days ago actually. This happened due to him making me feel bad and calling me petty and too needy. And he was really hurtful so when i brought up us breaking up he didn’t even reply back he just blocked me. Even on facebook and i haven’t heard from him since. So what do you think? Will he eventually reach out to me or is he completely done?
Lynsey

November 15, 2015 at 1:19 pm

Hi Chris.
I was with my boyfriend for 2 years. The other night during a small argument he told me he is no longer in love with me and us breaking up would be for the best. He and I were both very emotional. I saw him again the next day, because we wanted to have a not as emotional ending. While I saw him that day, I gave some ideas on how we can fix it and each time he would think for a bit but then he responded with “no, this is what I want.” And kept telling me he loved me and crying. He said things like “this is what I want for now” and he will consider things “later”. He did agree to think about the things I said and were are supposed to see each other again at the end of the week. Should I cancel that end of the week meet? I know it can’t really be ove . We were doing so so great until this happened. If I do see him, what on earth do I say? Is a week enough time? Do you think he’ll change his mind? What do I do to make him realize he loves me?
Tiara

November 15, 2015 at 11:27 am

I didn’t know about the NC Rule until I searched on the internet.
I broke up with my ex boyfriend 4 days ago and I texted him this morning. (I’m the dumper anyway)
I wished him goodluck for his job today and he replied thank you, but it feels strange he said.
I told him I would feel bad if we don’t talk to each other again and I’d still like to be friends and will be around if he wants to
and he just said okay.
What do you think?
pritha ghosh

November 12, 2015 at 3:23 pm

Hey Chris I need your help. I am having a relationship for the past 4 years. Actually in 10-15 days we are going to complete the 4 years. But the thing is, he has left me just 2 days ago. And I am missing him terribly. He left me because of my fault. I made him upset. It was completely my fault. And I admit it. The thing is, he is not able to forget the past and continue a healthy relationship with me. Could you please guide me to get him back in my life? He is very stubborn and very desperate to get rid of me permanently. Right now I am not contacting him as he gets very angry if I do so. Please guide.
Nick

November 12, 2015 at 7:40 am

Hey Chris,

My girlfriend and i had a huge fight over phone, she even said i messed up everything. but i’m so in love with her.. taht time i couldn’t able to tolerate her silence that point of time, which leads us to heated arguments against each other. but really love her and missing her badly.

can you please suggest what should i can do to get her back in my life.

Chris Seiter

November 17, 2015 at 2:16 am

Hey Nick I have a site for men. It’s called http://www.exgirlfriendrecovery.com

pamela

November 12, 2015 at 6:32 am

I was dating a guy who started off as really interested in me.called me frequently,took me on a yacht date and so….with time after a small conflict his calls became less and what we had shifted into something physical but very intense but no sex involved cause i didnt let him…his texts where less he said he wants only fun then he texts me that he is seein someone and its gettin quite serious and that he will get married anytime these comming 3 years.thats after i initiated texting….i want him back and feel like saying I miss u!

Chris Seiter

November 17, 2015 at 2:18 am

Do not tell him you miss him. That will only push him away further. Do no contact for 30 days. Have you read the Ebook yet?

Mae

November 12, 2015 at 1:33 am

Hello, first things first you’re hilarious and I like everyone else enjoy your writing. My ex and I were together about a year we had a pretty decent relationship. He decided he could not be the man I needed and he thought I could do better ( I have a child). He said we had a great relationship but he doesn’t think in the long term it will work.( typical it’s not you it’s me shit) I am really close with his family and friends so naturally I didn’t accept this at the beginning, I did the typical begging and pleading and for about 3 weeks we would do the same process. We would get together talk about our feelings, he would tell me he loves me , we would sleep together and everything would be “fine” until a few days later he is feeling the same way. The last time he told me we weren’t right but it was so hard for him cause because he loves me I just finally said “I accept it “. I decided to end contact because really how could I keep doing this to myself. I said I love you and respect your decision. And stopped contacting him.

5 days into no contact he emailed me at work. I didn’t respond. An hour later he texted me telling me he emailed me at work and asked if I was there. I held strong and didn’t respond . Then he said maybe you don’t want to talk and that’s okay . I still didn’t respond. Then he said “its obvious you’re ignoring me and I officially won’t give a shit about you anymore ” .still held strong. Then he said take all my pictures off your Facebook I don’t want people getting the wrong impression, I didn’t respond I just deleted the pictures in silence ( keep in mind we are not friends in any social media. So I have no idea why he cares or knew they were on there.

So since then I have noticed be blocked me on all social media and even blocked my number in his phone. Do you think I should have responded ? I’m confused as to what’s he is thinking ….now he is having NC with me ?? Lol

Chris Seiter

November 17, 2015 at 2:20 am

Its best to do no contact without a warning. How far are you into no contact currently?

Evelyn

November 11, 2015 at 8:57 pm

HI Chris

Here I am all the way in Norway and came across your site 🙂 So i read your article and I need your help.

I’ve been dating this 38 year old guy for three months (Im 30). We both have kids. We were exslusive pretty eartly on and things have been good. Some small diffrences but we both agreed on that this was too god to let go 🙂 I meet his co-workers 2 weeks ago, and after that I felt he was withdrawing from me. He only texts me good morning (never done that before). I didnt think much about it. Then he suddendly texts me and tells me he misses me and that Im beatiful. And then again he withdrawls back to his mancave, without any explanation. So i got tired of it.. I wanted him to know that I wont be sitting here waiting for him to wake up and both spend time with me and to notice me. So I broke it off. But I did it in a nice way. Told him that “I understand he has a lot on his mind and that I did understand he need time for himself (aldo he never said it), but when he ust goes M.I.A on me it really hurts me. I respect you and your desicion so il let you be. I just wanted too let you know why I wont be in contact anymore. Have a nice weekend.” He wrote back that he didnt do that so I would feel hurt and that he was sorry (thats it?!!!). I replied, never mind, Im okey 🙂
And then I didnt hear anything more. But he has suddenly looked at my snap story (his never there).

So my question is, -Why is he soooo short on his reply? Im thinking he really didnt care about me (even thou he wanted us too be in an relationship)
-If by a chance he texts me, lets say in 10 days should I answere or wait 30 days?
– Im going out with my girlfriends this saturday (planned before the breakup) should I not show him on facebook that Im going out?
If you have any other tips that would help I would love to know 🙂

Thank you in advanced 🙂

Chris Seiter

November 17, 2015 at 2:26 am

Wait 21 days, 30 is to much here. It sounds like he was either on the fence about you or maybe dating someone else. My guess is he needed more time to figure out if he liked you. Do you want a guy like this?

Natasha

November 11, 2015 at 11:20 am

Hi chris,

Whatevwr you have written aeems convincing.
However, i should have read this article way earlier.
I have been in a relationship with my ex for 8 years – since high school. And we have been on and off break ups. Well, during the first break up he liked a young lady but she rejected him. And now for the second major break up, he is liking another young girl.
Its barely 2 months since we broke up and he is in love with another girl for past one month and he feels more intimate with her that he have been with me. That is unbelievable because we have been together for 8 years and we practically know each other very well. So, coming back to the recent girl he liked, again he ht rejected again this time. But he is not giving up and willing to wait for her.
I on the other hand have been there in this similar situation when he liked the first girl after the first break up. And we managed to unite again after the girl rejected him.
My question for now is that what should i do since my break up 2 months i have constantly texting him how i feel and the moments we were togwthwr etc etc. It was suprising that he was not moved by that at all. In fact he hurt me by being ao ignorant and not replying my messages and i was the one trying to communicate with him all the time. In other words – i behave so ‘cheap’. I went so low mainly because i love him and i know he is confuse in life that made the whole change within him.
Now chris, i am seeking for your advice for what i should do next in the hope of winning him back.
Kait

November 11, 2015 at 10:41 am

I know you get thousands of messages like this, but I really need some advice. I think I’ve completely blown my chances of ever getting my ex back, even if I do follow your guides/advice. Basically we’ve been on and off for over a year now and we argue a lot, he never apologises after arguments and will just ignore me for the rest of the day or even for a day+ where as I’ll apologise most of the time regardless and I hate being ignored, especially by him, and then when he does speak to me he just acts normal again or sometimes he’ll say things like ‘going to be a normal gf or still an angry troll’ I admit when we argue at times I can say some really horrible and unforgivable things, but so has he. He’s said many times over the past months that he doesn’t love me and hasnt wanted to be with me for months now. It’s mostly him who breaks up with me, I’ve only ever broken up with him I’ve but I didn’t mean it. He’s also said that he’s only taken me back because I made him or wouldn’t leave him alone. Now last week we had a huge fight on Sunday and things got so bad and again he said were over and that he doesn’t love me anymore and that once I leave his house I won’t be setting foot in there ever again. Things got broken and he got angry and pushed me but I replaced the broken things and got them sent to his house. He text me after the break up saying he got the items but he can’t accept them knowing how he feels about us and that he sees no future for us and doesn’t see us ever working. I tried to do no contact but failed on day 3 🙁 and text him back saying ‘Hey, I was just thinking about the first time we went to the cinema together to see Jurassic World, it was so good. I am glad we did that.’ But because he didn’t reply I turned into a text gnat and then said ‘could we talk please? I don’t like how things were left.’ He replied ‘I enjoyed the good times we had too but things arent the same and we argue too much, please send me your address so i can return the items as it doesnt feel right’ I responded ‘I don’t want to lose you, so will you please work with me to make our relationship work again, I know I don’t deserve it but I care for you deeply and I love you..I want you to keep the them, I’m sorry.’ And again he didn’t respond so I text him again saying ‘Please just talk with me, even if you hate me, please hear me out.’ He responded saying ‘it’s over I sorry, there’s nothing else I can say’ I continued to keep begging him to take me back and him not replying and when he I asked him if he loved me he said no sorry and he also said he won’t be contacting me anymore and i really dont want to upset you more and talking is doing that, you are more than welcome to let me send the items back, other than that good bye. I continued to bombard him with messages and calls, he replied no my minds made up..I continued to message and call him the next day too but no reply. It’s not been almost 3 days I haven’t heard from him and I’m absolutely terrified of losing him. I didn’t text him today so this is the first day I haven’t contacted him for..I want to try the no contact but I always end up caving in. Do you think the Nc rule will get him to speak to me or even give us a chance of ever getting back together? Please help.
Amy

November 10, 2015 at 10:57 pm

Hi Chris
Me and my boyfriend of two years broke up two weeks ago. He ended it impulsively during a huge I tried to reason with him that day but nothing worked. Since then we have spoken on and off and I asked is it over he was adamant so I joined a dating site someone he knew saw me and he called me the next day going ballistic about this. I just said I would delete it and I have done. But since then he messaged once asking for some ‘fun time’ I said no I will not be used in this way and said from now on no contact he agreed to this. Its been one day I usually crack by now but I cant this time I love him so much and we had a great relationship! I miss him will he come back to me.
comfort

November 10, 2015 at 7:28 pm

Hello Chris. I like ur answers me and my boyfriendbreak up last three weeks, but he is married. I love him and want him back.
Andrea

November 10, 2015 at 2:56 am

We were living together for 6 months. He claimed that he was all in but wasnt ready to be more serious. Or relationship began to suffer even in intimacy. I became paranoid and i finally checked his phone and he had been talking and going out another woman when he claimed he was with friends. I put him out. We didn’t speak for a couple weeks and then on his FB page he listed himself as being in a relationship with the girl he was seeing, funny thing she isn’t even a facebook friend of his but Iam. I was doing the 30 day NC and he text me and I couldn’t resist but to answer. I simply said I am doing well Im writing again. He said he was great. I ended it first and said well talk later. I feel he is posting to hurt my feelings or am i just seeing what i want to see and its truly over. from our mutual friends he has only know this girl for a month and a half.
CHELSY

November 9, 2015 at 8:50 pm

Hi Chris,

I want to try and sum this up the best I can, so here goes:
My boyfriend of only 1 month ( I know, not long at all) basically said to me less than a week ago that he basically thought we weren’t ready to be in a relationship together. Here are some of the reasons that I know why I’m sure he said that : First, my story and what I contributed to the relationship: I am a divorcee of 4 years ( first and only marriage to date) and he was very abusive both physically and emotionally. I have also had several other abusive boyfriends in the past. I saw a counselor afterwards to get my head right and it helped but this guy has been the first relationship I have had since the divorce and I have had a few instances where when uncomfortable about something I needed to leave and take a drive, which is what I would always do when I was nervous around my husband or felt like I was scared to talk to him, or scared of a fight ( he did a real number on me!). Basically my ex boyfriend had never done anything to me that made me have a valid reason to need to run, its just so second nature for me because of my past, that sometimes a fear will trigger this “fight or flight” response in me. Well, he didn’t like the fact that I couldn’t just stay at his house and work/talk through the issue at hand. This happened twice and then I had mentioned to him over text ( bad idea I’m thinking) that there was something I had wanted to talk about but was scared to, and that’s kind of where it started to crumble. He just said there seems to be too many problems this soon in our relationship and it shouldn’t be this way. I agree, but just wish he would realize that despite my issues over the past, you couldn’t find a more loving and stable woman to be with. I’m just so heartbroken over this and feel that my past has ruined this relationship for me.
Now, about him..while I was still learning about him of course, beings that we only were together a month, I discovered that he too is divorced ( 3 years ago) and apparently the wife was something else ( I know there are two sides to every story) and that it was always her way or no way. He said he too saw a counselor after his divorce to help him through it. He mentions in a text before the breakup that he thinks we both should see a counselor again to learn what “healthy” relationships looks like. He made no mention of ” maybe after we both see a counselor, we can try this again”. I don’t know what this guy wants, and should I be concerned that he didn’t want to stay in this relationship with me and work on things together or????
So, I guess after this text I sent him, he was starting to think that we both aren’t really over our damaged pasts and said to me when we talked that he wasn’t sure what he wanted anymore and when I asked him ” is this really over?” he replied softly ” I think so, Chels”. So, here I am, broken hearted cause I really really care for him, he treated me like a queen, and now I don’t know whether he will discover that I am truly what he wants or not and certainly don’t want to hang around and wait just to end up dissapointed, but I am left with all this emotion for him. We haven’t spoke since the breakup ( It’s only been 4 days) and I will follow the NC rule but do have some questions about it I guess: If he texts me and I don’t respond, for weeks even, won’t he thinks : A) That I lost all interest, and B) That I don’t care about him anymore and won’t he think I am being a B&%^$?????
Also, he used to work at the same place of employment with my father, before my father retired and they see each other about twice a month, sometimes more. I am not angry at my ex and want their relationship to remain unchanged. What should my Dad say to him if and when they see each other if my ex asks about me? I just want him to want to try this again with me, even if we do have to attend some sessions with a counselor to better ourselves, first. However, he has to want the same thing I realize that.

Thank you so much! Sure need some advice on what to think about all this and what I can possibly expect from my ex??
tian

November 9, 2015 at 6:03 pm

hi Chris,
your website is really helpful. my ex boyfriend and I were together for 8 months. I didnt give him enough attention at the beginning after a little while his eyes started to wonder. he broke up with me a month ago. said he wants to date other girls, wants to go travel.otherwise he wouldnt be happy if he doesnt get to experience it all. we got back together after 2weeks he broke up with me again. told me he cheated on me twice before without telling me. and now he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me anymore. hes going on his trip next year in Feb. but he told me he still loves me and he has this feeling of doesnt matter what happened he will always end up coming back to me. do you think he would come back? im on the second day of NC.
Elise

November 9, 2015 at 10:55 am

Hi Chris. Thx for the tips first of all, it’s calming for a start. I was very happy in my relationship and never now would I have expected a break up! We were supposed to move together… Anyway after me excited about him coming to pick me up from where work, he drove me home and basically told me he wanted to get married and start a family. Only problem is, he loves me BUT i am Not the one??!!!?? Is he panicking? Or why Would he say this?

Best regards
Angel

November 9, 2015 at 3:42 am

Hi Chris, I met someone at work we went out for a few lunches, started texting on a regular basis and starting seeing each other. We both were upfront with each other as far as not looking for a relationship of any kind, no expectations of each other and if something happens it happens. We both are very comfortable with each other, enjoy each other company, spending time together, miss each other when we aren’t with each other and are doing other things with family, friends, etc. Our relationship started to grow on both sides. We both new he was going to be moving to the United States from Canada for business, however he would have both homes as he is keeping his place in Canada. We have both admitted that we love each other and care for one another, however he doesn’t want to complicate things as he needs to focus on his business plans with is partners and not have to worry about sad feelings or leaving a women he could have loved for the rest of his life, he said his mind and soul can not focus on both the business and us. I miss him and I’m sure he does too. I’m trying to figure out how what to do, I understand opening you own business takes a lot of time, dedication, efforts, etc. but how do I convince him that we don’t need to end our relationship or sacrifice us in the process. I know it bothers him when I mention anything about deleting our email and text communications especially the romantic letters I had written. I don’t know what to make of his actions and not sure how to handle this situation – it is almost like he wants both but then he doesn’t, he does and then he doesn’t. He wrote to me his feelings and thoughts, asked for my thoughts and I wrote back how things could and would work, but he doesn’t seem to want that – cannot make sense of what he wants. He wants us, he doesn’t – would love your insight and suggestion. Thank you, Chris
RP

November 8, 2015 at 12:31 pm

Hi, Chris! Me and my bf were together for 1.5 years and we were very close, we used to make plans bout getting married, having children etc. Two days ago he broke up with me. He said he wanted to date/have sex with other girls, and that he didn’t consider me the sexiest girl alive like he once used to. He also asked if we could just be friends with benefits, or take a break in which he would be allowed to have sex with other girls, but I rejected the idea. I asked him if he still loved me, he said he doesn’t know. But two days before he had also told me he loved me. I asked me if he lied that time, he said no. Do you think there are any chances of getting him back?

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5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”