5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

1. 

   No contact

   June 8, 2016 at 6:23 pm

   My ex and I play the same online game and he is on my friends list. If I do no contact but am still playing the game. Will that make him miss me less? Since he can see that I am playing the game? How can no contact work in that situation?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 15, 2016 at 9:30 am

   Hi No contact,

   hmm just don’t talk to him in the game ti make him miss you

2. 

   racehl

   June 7, 2016 at 4:46 pm

   my boyfriend, has been extremely horrible to me… he broke up with me because all i kept doing was telling him i missed him and crying because he was going away for months. he told me i was a little girl and he can live without me but i had difficulties doing the same thing. My boyfriend keeps on breaking up with me and anytime he does he tells me he needs space. i always chase him and his never the one to chase after me. i Want this to be different and want him to start chasing me and begging back for me

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 15, 2016 at 8:07 am

   HI Rachel,
   you should check this post
   The ungettable girl

3. 

   Nireyne

   June 6, 2016 at 8:26 am

   My ex & I dated for about 1-1/2. Towards the last 6 months, we were constantly fighting.. Off & on again & again. Our relationship became so unsteady that it was hard to really know if we were truly together anymore. Our work schedules became opposite of each other’s so we went from seeing each other about every day to about once a week. The day of our break up was probably the worst one. We argued about mutual equal effort, how he felt this relationship was one sided, unappreciated, etc. He mentioned how he didn’t know why he was with me, & called me names, yelled, insults, you name it. I decided to kick him to the curve. I was so upset about the things he was saying & basically told him F U & that if he didn’t know, I wasn’t going to give him reasons as to why. I didn’t get mad, I didn’t yell back, & I didn’t insult him back. Surprisingly, I stayed calm & cool when I told him I was done with him contemplating whether or not to be with me & I left. I broke up with him more than a month & half ago. I haven’t spoken/contacted/seen him since. I already knew about the no contact from reading this article before, I just never put into action until now. I feel our break up(s) have been so bad, I wonder if I should go longer than I already have & try the 60-90 day rule? My only concern is the shitty part about me finally not contacting him; he HAS NOT tried to contact me even once through the 30 days. Nothing at all! I saw a picture of him the other day that he had taken of a girl from his work while they were on a date… Could that mean he’s moved on? I feel that the no contact rule has caused him to drift away & resent me for it… instead of him feeling like he misses me. Not once have I heard from him in over 30 days of no contact.. Why do you think that is? Is it failing to work?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 15, 2016 at 5:31 am

   HI Nireyne,

   Are you still in no contact now? I agree that you need a long one coz of how toxic your relationship was.

4. 

   Ugh

   June 6, 2016 at 7:34 am

   My ex and I broke up last year and since then we’ve been going through phases of not talking for a month (initiating no contact) both myself and him. he keeps saying that he doesn’t want a commitment/relationship right now but he means that in general not just about me. He keeps stressing that he’s not talking to other girls only me, however he doesn’t want any commitment right now but wants to be friends. I feel like he’s using the “friends” card so he gets to keep me frozen in time pining for him but not have any obligation towards me and so that I can’t get angry when he doesn’t call me back etc.

   It feels like a horrible situation because I still love him with all my heart and it’s leaving me feeling inadequate. He’s said numerous times that “I could have any girl I want but I want you” but if that’s the case why am I here as a friend? I’m scared to pull the no contact again because I’m worried that he’s going to get used to me not being around and then he’ll just be gone out of my life.

   We agreed to meet up last weekend to talk things through (meeting as friends) I gave him 2 months notice and as the time grew closer he began to do his usual “disappearing” act, where he’d vanish for a week. The night before I was travelling down to see him (250miles may I add) he became so horrible and kept telling me not to come. Being stubborn as I am (and because I’d spent in excess £200.00 on the journey down and one night) I went the next day. He called constantly to see if I was okay but still refused to come meet me. Instead he sent his best friend/guy he classes as his brother to come to my hotel and check that I was okay. The fact he did that was the final blow I don’t understand why he would send the guy he trusts to check up on me – I had stated previously to him that he either met me that day or our friendship was over and this guy managed to create a new option – he didn’t show but sent somebody else so now what do I do? To make things worse his friend after an hour or so was overly hitting on me and basically said he thought I was too good for his friend. The next day my ex called me “joking” about me apparently sleeping with his friend so I hung up on him not bothering to speak to him until last night.

   I stupidly called him yesterday because I wanted to clear the air before a religious holiday started and he missed my call but then called back sounding surprised yet happy that I’d called him “considering..” he did say he’d call back later but he didn’t so now I’m not sure what I should do.

   I know it’s embarrassing I travelled 250mils and got stood up but I’m just so lost and hurting. I’ve not seen him since our breakup last year and since then I spent time going the gym, worked on my career and it seems my weak spot is still my emotional health. I can’t seem to get it right and I’m scared I’m just going to lose him.

   What should I do? :'(

   Ps: sorry for the essay.

1. 

   Ugh

   June 15, 2016 at 7:55 am

   Hi Amor,

   Thank you for your reply. Yesterday he did something weird(I’m on day 7 no contact thankfully) he doesn’t use whatsapp he only downloaded it because he at one point this year thought I’d blocked him and last night he uploaded a photo to whatsapp of himself and made a status – is he trying to get a reaction out of me/trying to get me to contact him?

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 17, 2016 at 10:26 pm

   if you’re the only reason he installed it, there’s a big probability that you’re right.

3. 

   Ugh

   June 9, 2016 at 1:14 pm

   I have initiated NC after I called him on the Monday haha but he didn’t call back. We have been in a weird situation now since July last year so I’m not sure if NC will work?

4. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 15, 2016 at 6:16 am

   HI Ugh,

   we can’t guarantee that it will work 100% but it will help increase the chance because the space helps for the both of you to have kind of like a restart and for you to have time to heal and improve yourself.

5. 

   Emma

   June 4, 2016 at 8:24 am

   Hi there.
   I came across this blog yesterday, and I feel like it’s a sign from God.
   I met my ex boyfriend 3 months ago, and we started dating only a month after getting to know each other. Some of my friends felt like it was too soon, but I felt like I was ready and he said he was too. We live on campus, so we used to see each other A LOT. Anyways, things were going absolutely wonderful, and I couldn’t have been happier. 3 weeks ago we had to come back home for the summer, and he lives in a different city. We discussed how we’d have to live 4 months apart, but we decided that it wouldn’t be a problem since we’d have the incentive of being with each other for a long time after that. But a week ago, he calls me and he tells me he texted his ex and this freaked him out completely, and he told me he shouldn’t be in a relationship when clearly he couldn’t commit to one person. I was completely caught off guard because things were honestly going great. We hadn’t even had a single fight because we got a long so great! At the time, I couldn’t even register what had happened because it all happened so quickly and suddenly! He said he still wanted me in his life and he was hoping we could stay friends. He also said that this isn’t goodbye forever and he’d come back to me as the man I had expected him to be. Since then, I decided I wouldn’t contact him at all. But he’s sent me a couple of snapchats, and I have replied to them but didn’t keep the conversation going.
   I’m gonna try the NC thing for a month and see what happens. But I don’t know if he’s worth getting back to after the way he broke off things. On the other, he was my first boyfriend, and thinking of the time we spent together and how good it was makes me feel like I should give it another chance( if he asks for it).
   Any insights would be welcomed, please!

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 13, 2016 at 12:40 pm

   Hi Emma,

   you’re near the end of your vacation when he broke up with you? you didn’t see each other in the entire vacation and does his ex live near him?

6. 

   Giu

   June 3, 2016 at 12:00 pm

   Hello, I met my fiancée almost a year and a half ago. Went out for a week and he asked me to be his girlfriend, then I had the life of a princess. We hung out every single day because otherwise he’d go crazy, 4 months later we went to Disney and he proposed to me. And I said yes but then he started seeing a therapist. The thing is he changed so much. He said to me “I’m not perfect, and our relationship isn’t fresh anymore” and it just kept getting worse. Like he would act single, go to bars and he even went to jail (in jail he said how sorry he was and how he realized he’d been a very bad fiancee to me and he should’ve had more respect for me). Now he’s being that way again, no respect, he just wants to fight, yesterday I told him we can hang out today all day at his place and he said no because he can’t come to mine (I was tired and didn’t want to see him). And then broke up with me, changed his whatsapp pic and told me via text he wants his things back. Why does he do these things when we could be so happy? Should I just let him go? And if he comes back I’m scared he’ll be the same way again and I can’t handle him breaking up with me 10 thousand times but I really think he’s my soulmate and that he used to make me so happy I’ve never been so happy in my entire life. Now we’re both going to college (I’ll start in a few months) and I’m scared and don’t want to lose him but also think what if he’ll treat me like this for years and years, and ignore me so much. I don’t even beg that much, it’s like he misses me at night and in the morning he doesn’t miss me and wants his things back. And then he wants a fresh start. It’s weird. Please help. I want to be that princess again, I know it’s childish but I was so happy back then.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 12, 2016 at 10:07 am

   Hi Giu,

   Nobody is perfect. He really needs to keep seeing a therapist with that attitude.. is he still now?

7. 

   Lauren

   June 2, 2016 at 4:45 pm

   Hi, so I visited this site a while back when me and my boyfriend just broke up. We both decided that we would still like to meet up so we did a couple of times. Then he kissed another girl so to make him jealous I kissed another boy, which kinda worked. We hung out one time after that (on my birthday) the next night we went out together but I got crazily drunk and kissed one of his friends, he said it didn’t bother him because we were ‘not together’ and we could still hang out. We kept talking, until all of a sudden he said he was done and he just wanted to be friends. This was the moment that felt like a real breakup so I decided to apply the no contact rule which I’ve now been doing for the last 25 days. It’s kind of hard since we have classes together and it makes things awkward sometimes. But I really don’t know what to do now. He seems to have moved on completely and is going on dates like crazy. I want to get in touch with him and of course eventually get him back but I don’t know how I should do it (text? In person? Snapchat???) please help. Thanks in advance!

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 12, 2016 at 7:34 am

   Hi Lauren,

   sorry for the late reply.. Slowly be more friendly with him in class.. when you bump smile, if he asks for help, help him or ask for him small favors from him.

8. 

   JASMINE

   May 31, 2016 at 1:39 pm

   Hello Team,

   Firstly, these guides are super educational. I’d like some advice if possible about my situation and how to help.

   I met my ex-bf a couple of times before we started to date. We went on 2 dates (within 2 weeks) and the next time, he asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. Obviously I said yes, but I think I fell for him more than he fell for me…and quicker. Obviously asking me out within 2 dates is quite quick. We then went out for 8 months.

   However, within the first month he introduced me to his family and told me he loves me. I believe that to be the only time he said that to me because after involving both our families, it just seemed super serious. Hence, he broke up with me after 8 months because he can’t deal with being in a relationship right now, he can’t be committed. He said after 8 months, if he can’t love me (which I think it’s cause of playing ‘husband’ and ‘wife’) that probably means he can never love me.

   However, after the breakup (very very quickly), he said he’d love to date me. With no labels or no family and no expectations/pressures. I’ve kinda agreed but now I’m planning to do the ‘NC’ rule and apply all of these things…then contact him after a month. Is this the right way to go about it?

   Would be great to know your thoughts!

1. 

   JASMINE

   May 31, 2016 at 5:55 pm

   He finds things like him waking up to my texts/instagram tags annoying. I think he loves space and what’s more, needs it.

   Also he said when dating, we can date other people at the same time. This brings up some concerns for me. He told me it’ll be good for me to date other people and gain experience (I think in terms of clingyness haha!) but I think the fact he suggested dating other people at the same time indicates to me he’s not interested in me?

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 31, 2016 at 8:56 pm

   Hi Jasmine,

   I think you were not in the same page with the status of your previous relationship, to you it was exclusive, to him it was a serious but open relationship.

9. 

   Sara

   May 29, 2016 at 9:17 pm

   I have a somewhat unique situation (im sure everyone says that) for one, i’m a woman married to a woman. We have been married for 4 years since Thursday except we’ve been separated since August. Around this time last year she started to become friendly with a party-girl co-worker who is married to a guy. i’ve always encouraged her to have friends outside of our mutual friends. After awhile she started to talk about this girl and how she made her feel better, i never really thought much into it until one day she ditched me for this girl and new found coworker friends. I knew our relationship was on the rocks because of my old job that almost had me fired. July 1 2015 i got a new job that i was much happier at and i started to change and be nicer to her but she was always coming home miserable. In fact after awhile she would stay at work until about 8 and blame the girl that we were living with as the reason she didnt want to come home. Eventually she told me the truth that it was before of me. After that she’d blame me for all of her miserable problems. Her birthday was july 31st, i went out and did the best i could to make her happy but this girl at work seemed to have given her more attention than i did.. she decorated her desk pink and that was the talk of town even with her folks… it made me feel so small that my gift wasn’t good enough. she even sort of said it wasnt.. she said that she wanted three things and i never gave them to her (a car detail, hulk things and something else i dont remember) instead i got what i could afford and mashed it into some hulk themed thing. a week later we both took a vacation to spend quality time together. We were supposed to go to ptown to the pride carnival and i dont remember the circumstance but we couldnt go thursday and i swear to this day she said that we could go saturday with her coworkers. so friday night came and i said so whats the plan for ptown and she said what do you mean i was like well i thought we were going to go to ptown together? she said oh… no.. this is just with coworkers. so i knew something was wrong because she didnt really even feel bad about it or even try to replan or try to invite me to go. She had this thing about putting people first – example: if she makes a commitment to work people but then i find out I have a wedding to go to and want her to go, she’ll say she cant go to this wedding with me because she already made prior commitments with friends. stuff like that. but i wasnt strong enough at the time to stand up and just walk the hell out on her. A week after that, she said she was going to be home at a specific time so i made dinner or whatever and two hours after that time i had called her, and i might have been a little annoyed and we started yelling at each other.. she said she had to drive her coworkers home and to basically just deal with it.. but she was literally screaming at me with her coworkers in the car. Now im starting to see the pattern that these people came before me. later that night I was in bed and she asked me a question and i didnt even listen to what she said and just said no. she got up and just said “i cant do this anymore”. I stupidly did the begging thing. well for a good month she slept on the couch because she wanted nothing to do with me – she kept telling friends and family that she was scared of me?? One night she came home and I tired to talk about what the heck was going on and she said one small thing that triggered the wrong thing to me and i got a little violent, smashed everything we had together. I asked her to leave the house because i’m clearly in pain and i dont know how to manage that pain quite yet. I didn’t understand what the heck was going on because she never wanted to talk about it. She’d say “you know what you did” and its like do i?? lol.. I had asked her to compile a list of things that made her want to leave because i was just so lost and confused. We were obviously going through a tough time but i guess i was the only one that wanted to work it out. I had even suggested marriage therapy. A month after that request she wrote me this list of reasons why she left me. Some were legit like i could get a little angry at times and throw things but some were just absurd. She moved out and i just was a monster to her. I was jealous of this new group of friends she wouldnt even introduce me to. I accused her of emotionally cheating on me. We decided to try separation. Since then i was just bombarding her with mean messages about how she gave up on us. Ive been going to therapy ever since then because basically her entire family compares me to her step father.. and hes a real jerk. Sometime in December she said she wanted a divorce. In fact even before that she said she didn’t care if i found someone new, just let her know so we can file for divorce. Fast forward to today.. i’ve been kinder and nice but i also asked for a divorce about a month ago because i’m sick of being treated 2nd best. Everything is “i dont know” like literally, i cannot talk to her about where shes at or what she feels, it’s “i dont know” or “i don’t have any plans”. I have always made her number 1 yet she complains I dont?? I have always made myself available. During separation I’d ask her for help because we’re selling the house and it’s hard to maintain a house by yourself. Everyone else was a priority. Sorry cant do it it this day, how about this day. Then i’d call her out on it. Why do you make everyone else a priority. She said she needed this time to be selfish?? We had a joint account, she accused me of spending all of her money so in October I asked her to get her own account, that she needs to pay her own bills. I had been doing everything. She flipped out. At that point I didn’t care. I just wanted her to realize what I had been doing that she obviously didn’t care to see or appreciate. Fast forward to today, for a person that hates credit cards, she racked up her credit card because she “cant afford” anything. This coming from the same girl that would yell at me if I said no to something she wanted to do.. she didnt realize that she had been spending so much money on going out with her friends. She blamed me for her car. for putting her in debt. I’m the breadwinner, I COULD afford it.

   A couple weeks ago, i had this ah-ha moment. Like stop being a jerk to her, its getting no where, stop being the victim (even though you are) and just be kind. I still have unresolved resent though which is part of my problem. I have been going to therapy once a week since september. Its helping but its tough.

   I want to start the 21 day process but we’re also doing mediation and we’re selling the house and closing on the 1st. Our relationship was awesome until this new group of people came into her life. I have been working on myself and finding my self identity through a LOT of therapy. I just don’t know what to do. Even my therapist suggested the no contact idea but this was back before I asked for this divorce. Is it to late? is it even worth it? I can’t seem to do it because my heart has always been fully invested in this girl. She asked me to marry her but i’m starting to second guess that she only did it to make me happy. Thats all she does though, that’s what kind of person she is, she goes out of her way to make others happy and when someone makes her feel good about herself, she kind of latches onto them. She doesn’t talk about her feelings and/or is never direct about them. Before we hooked up, she was in a relationship with a girl that cheated on her. perhaps I had “saved” her but i also asked her to be single for awhile before hooking up with me. She wouldn’t break up with this girl even though she wanted to be with me, and it bothered me, i had to tell her to break up with the girl or its not happening. I wont lie, that situation makes me nervous that shes doing the same thing to me with someone else, she doesnt want to “hurt me” but is emotionally involved with someone else.

   I don’t know if i want to move on or try this NC thing or what. I wont lie it feels good to work on things outside and not have her asking me if i know what i’m doing in a mean way thats why im sort of hoping this NC thing works. Problem is I have tried but she comes to the house barges without ringing. I think i put a stop to that but still… she kind of verbally manipulates me but in some ways I do it too. I just dont know what to do because part of me believes that if i actually do this NC thing shes actually going to move on and latch on to this married party girl that’s been giving her more attention that i have (even though ive been trying to). Perhaps I should just give up and say fuck it, let this girl give her the attention she wants. I dont know… I just dont know… im just sick of getting blamed for her unhappiness…

   While I’ve been nicer to her I still want to know what the hell she wants to do to (especially if shes having an emotional affair with this new best friend of hers). Yesterday I asked her if she wanted to go to lunch or grab a quick bite to eat somewhere, casual, no pressure – she said she didnt know… she never gives a yes or no answer. Generally its either i dont know or that it might not be a good idea. so i said ok no problem. I waited a little bit and sent her a couple of texts, I asked last night if she still wanted to go through this divorce next monday, and if we could talk about it. She said whats there to talk about? you already stated its the best thing for you. to which i replied that i didn’t think about her feelings and what she wanted. And she said that it didn’t matter what she wanted… i said it did. I also went into a couple of messages stating how much she meant to me and that i dont want to make a mistake. I left it that- this morning, no response so I asked if we could talk about it. I got the infamous “i dont know” so i said “Ok. Cool. Thanks for letting me know” I’m thinking i left this at a good opportunity to do the whole no contact thing so I started to no reply or write back to her.. i just got 2 casual texts about her cleaning her car… random ass text messages. “My favorite part after cleaning the car” … “putting an air freshener in it” i just don’t know what to do.. if the NC thing is still required or if shes playing me… i haven’t replied or anything yet. In fact i parked my car elsewhere in case she drives by. she has always had this need to be friends with her ex’s… she was friends with her last ex which i think did not help THIS relationship because she was too concerned about taking care of her to which i put an end to. i feel like i’m dealing with a child 🙁 i just dont know what to do. I’m sick of trying to read her and i’ve accepted that this is what she wants but holy hell i’m sick of the mind games and the omission of lies that she does (that she says she doesnt do). I don’t want to lose her but i sure as hell know i deserve to be respected way more than the way she treats me.

1. 

   Sara

   May 29, 2016 at 10:57 pm

   oh and the last time i tried this no contact thing… for like a good two or three weeks, she said she stopped contacting me because i stopped contacting her… just sick of the games… maybe 21 days isnt enough.

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 31, 2016 at 11:44 am

   Hi Sara,

   yeah it looks like she’s still emotionally immature.. and if she is attracted to her new co worker, she will use any reason to justify why she needs to break up wih you.. so if she relates you to being angry.. you can’t angry at her now, coz evrytime you do that, it justifies her thoughts of you.. If you want a chance, you have to be civil with her.You have to stop pleasing her but every interaction needs to be light and fun..

   coz to increase youe chance, she has to see that you’re not chasing anymore

3. 

   Sara

   May 29, 2016 at 9:52 pm

   I should also add that the list of things she wrote she also added at the end that that was some of the reasons why she fell out of love with me. A lot of them i have worked on and she knows I feel bad about or have changed but she said she doesnt know if she can forgive and forget the violent part… which only happened once even though she has the same behavior. I dont understand why after all this time, i have been the one to change when she doesnt even think shes done anything wrong even though she’ll say “i was at fault too” but never says for what when I ask. I am a good looking girl, bright and have a huge life ahead of me but after the last 6 and a half years… i’m just at a loss and if this does work out is she going to be that jerk to me going forward that will blame me for all of her problems?? Its emotionally draining but at the same time i dont know what to do.

10. 

    Star

    May 29, 2016 at 12:33 am

    I had been dating a guy for about a month and a half and he came on very strong on our first date: as if it was love at first sight for him. I was a little slower to catch up, but shortly after, I felt the same intensity for him. We are both in our early 30s and I’m a single mom to a tot and he was even talking about doing things with my daughter this summer and buying a car seat to take her places when we went on “family” type day trips. Things were going so well! He was going to meet my family and I was supposed to meet his friends soon…and then we had a silly “argument” or misunderstanding via text message. See, we met online dating and he made it clear to me that he wasn’t “checking his profile” any longer after our second date. He told me that he didn’t expect the same from me and that he didn’t want me to feel pressured, but that he had no interest in anyone else. He also regularly made comments like, “I want you to be mine” or “I only want you.” We had several playful chats where we established ourselves as a couple, though both of our online profiles remained up. I sent him a text one evening last week, saying something along the lines of, “so what are we doing with these online profiles? Can we come to a decision together either way?” He responded angrily, called me passive aggressive and said it was an unnecessary conversation and I was making an issue out of nothing, stating that he hadn’t “checked” his profile since our first date. I told him I was more just trying to show that I was interested in taking mine down and that we were on the same page now, and I sent him a screen shot of my dating site cancellation and told him about the huge ordeal it was to delete and cancel it. I thought he would be happy to hear this, but instead he was mad. He was out with friends at an event (I knew he had plans, which I didn’t intend to interrupt and I told him that) but he was furious. The next day he sent a text message breaking things off. He said he wasn’t “feeling us anymore” and that things weren’t going to work between us. I asked him to call, and expressed my disappointment that he would text me to end things. He replied with a terse comment about how I had been using text for inappropriate discussions (referencing my question about deleting our profiles) and then he didn’t respond to any other texts I sent, which were basically messages in which I was trying to explain that I didn’t intend to be passive aggressive and expressed that I thought things were going great and didn’t understand why this was worth ending things over. We had a great night together just two days before this happened. The only response he sent, said that he felt “backed into a corner” by my texts regarding our profiles and that he “didn’t like that feeling” that he “was already doing the right thing by not seeking other dates.” I responded and haven’t heard from him since (this was two days ago.) I haven’t contracted him at all today and think I will begin the 30 day no contact guidance. Is this the best idea? Is it possible this is a misunderstanding or does it seem he is using this as a reason to bail out of the relationship…I’ve considered this of course, but it doesn’t add up considering how into me he was and our fun plans for the coming months. I’m so confused and hurt and I know I already made the mistake of spilling my guts to him following his immature breakup text, but I would really like to make him miss me and since we live over an hours drive apart and he stopped following me on social media the same day he ended things, I am not sure if he will ever think of me or miss me. Please help.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 31, 2016 at 7:12 am

   Hi Star,

   30 days is too long for you but to be realistic, it’s too fast and too short. You don’t know him. Actually, I think you maybe right that he’s just using it as a an excuse to break up for some other reason.

11. 

    Hopeful

    May 28, 2016 at 12:47 pm

    My ex and I broke up in January. We broke up because he was cheating. He has broken up with her a couple of months ago now and we’ve been getting back in touch and texting each other. The last time we saw each other we slept together. Now I’m thinking it may have been too soon because last night I got an obvious booty call text at 2am. I would like a relationship back with him. How I get myself out of booty call status to potential date?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 30, 2016 at 1:21 pm

   Hi Hopeful,

   first, don’t sleep with him again.. next read this blo post :
   EBR 018: I Hooked Up With My Ex… Now What?

12. 

    Samantha

    May 28, 2016 at 5:12 am

    My bf of 6months broke up with me 4 days ago after me giving him time to think about what he wants. Basically I was emotionally detached in our relationship & pushed him away. He really is a good guy and that’s why i will regret never having the opportunity to fix my mistakes. When my feelings started to grow for him & I started to actually fall in love with him, I noticed he was pulling away. He had told me he was falling in love with me probably 2 months before that & I literally ignored him on multiple occasions. (I know. Big big mistake). I didn’t feel that way thought & didn’t want to hurt him. Anyway we fought every couple of days over stupid things for a month straight and then he broke up with me. I told him how I really felt over the last 2 weeks because I never told him but I guess it was too late. I could tell he had animosity towards me the last month & he finally admitted that last week. He also told me he has a bad habit of pushing himself away & only thinking about the negatives & that is for sure what he’s doing. He also told me he is thinking about the negative things during this break up. I understand 100% where he’s coming from. I know the way I acted and I was very closed off alot of times in our relationship which isn’t me in terms of not showing affection. I was scared because I have issues from my ex & this is the first guy since my ex & I split 2 years ago, that I actually love. This so the first serious relationship I’ve had since my ex too. I just want him to give it another chance so I can show him how much I do appreciate him. When I say that I mean it like I know fu**ed up big time. He isn’t budging though & no I did not beg for him. Anyway the day after he broke up with me he texted me “how are you? Ok”? I took your advice about the no contact rule. The next day I dropped of his 2 luggage bags he let me borrow for my cruise I went on recently at his door. I didn’t tell him I dropped them off & he texted me later when he got home saying “Thanks for dropping that off”. I didn’t think that was nessesary. The next night I went out with my girlfriend & we took pics together, which isn’t abnormal & she posted them to facebook & tagged me in them. Again not abnormal. I broke the NC rule & sent him an extremely long text saying everything I needed to wanting to know if he was done 100% & I should forget about him or could there be a chance one day. He was really vague but I finally got out of him that I should just move on. He’s been really nice throughout this entire thing but I went on facebook just to see that he blocked me! And now I have no idea if he blocked me from his phone or not. I asked WTF he blocked me on facebook. I’m starting to believe maybe he met somebody. He also hasn’t responded to that text and that’s unlike him. He would usually explain but not if he blocked me. Can u please give me some insight. Why doesn’t he want to work out our issues & try again? It was a good relationship besides me not showing affection which pushed him away & led to fights but there was amazing moments. The arguing at the end made us both miserable but we still were happy the days we weren’t fighting. Him breaking up with me was a shock because he still acted the same as he always did for the most part the last month. I just can’t see how he’s completely done just like that like it was nothing serious. Why is he only focusing on the negatives? He adored me. I don’t understand how it got to this point. I know lack of communication on both parts but why isn’t he budging. I can’t see how he’s OK with never seeing me again. And why did he block me on Facebook? Should I loose all hope of getting him back & live with the regret of my dumb mistakes that could’ve been avoided if I opened my eyes? Thanks

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 30, 2016 at 12:01 pm

   Hi Samantha,

   if you apologized and admitted your short comings, give him time.. he might be thinking that you’re juat like that now because he’s leaving.. so, if he sends a number of positive texts.. maybe like 5-7, reply and rebuild rapport

13. 

    Veronica

    May 27, 2016 at 4:48 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me. he said that he was unhappy in our relationship since february. (we were together for a year). He told me why and that I am “not the true love” for him. But we were such a great couple.
    We broke up week ago. Today we were talking and we have a neutral relationship now. He likes me, and he calls me “best friend”, so do I. What can I do? Should I keep waiting (no contact rule)?
    sorry for my poor language.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 30, 2016 at 6:33 am

   Hi Vwronica,

   you’re friendzoned.. you should start no contact and read this:
   EBR 012: How To Get Out Of The “Friend Zone” With Your Ex Boyfriend

14. 

    Mel

    May 27, 2016 at 3:43 am

    I broke up with my boyfriend cause he was claiming he was too busy and didn’t have time for a relationship and he had to focus on his work and his daughter right now. We got into a fight cause he was going on vacation with his ex and invited his ex over, but he said he was too busy to see me. Then he started no longer answered my texts and calls and said he was too busy. He couldn’t take a few seconds out of his day to to answer a text or call. If I did manage to talk to him he would just get mad and say he was working. I was not okay with not being a priority at all. When I broke up with him he just said OK I understand I am sorry. Also that Listen I am working I can’t talk about this right now I told you. I am too busy to be in a relationship right now that is all I can tell you. I am sorry. I am not sure I believe someone is too busy. I told him I was going on a date with someone else and he didn’t even respond. What should I do? His indifference is just surprising. We were in a long distance relationship and I was calling him everyday and texting him everyday. I just broke up with him yesterday and haven’t heard anything else from him.

1. 

   Mel

   May 31, 2016 at 3:29 am

   Yes. I apologized for breaking up and said I didn’t want to I was just frustrated. He said ok its cool we can talk monday when he gets back as he was on vacation Then he texted me the next day and said he would call tomorrow and said that it was cool that I was coming out to the same city he lives in. I sent him a message asking if he got home safe and he never replied and didn’t call. I am not sure if he is busy or just wants to avoid a difficult conversation or what?

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 31, 2016 at 6:37 pm

   Hmm.. if you talked to him, that means nc is broken.. ok, let’s give him time.. let’s see if he replies.

3. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 30, 2016 at 4:17 am

   Hi Mel,

   are you in no contact now?

15. 

    Noor

    May 25, 2016 at 11:11 pm

    Hey. my boyfriend broke up with me after 5 months of fighting almost one fight every 2 weeks. i was very jealous and needy. he is 31 and i am 19 years old. he loved me a lot and we talked about future plans too. we broke up 2 weeks ago and i begged him 2 times to come back together he actually went crazy on me because of that and kicked me out of his palace. yesterday i sent him a message apologizing for my behaviors and for being needy without asking him to come back, but i did mentioned that i miss him. he replied by saying that he is sorry too, he also said that he is not thinking abt anything related to us now and that he will appreciate it if i can do the same and focus on my study. do i have any chance to get him back? if yes could the no contact rule be for just 15 days?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 29, 2016 at 11:04 am

   Hi Noor,

   I think you should do at least 30 days. If you haven’t achieved being emotionally stronger by then, you should extend a little bit more. Actually with gnat cases, it’s best if you do 45 but since you’re just 5 months in, 30 would do. You’re young, so that’s normal that you’re still emotionally insecure. That’s what you really need to work on.

16. 

    Anonymous

    May 25, 2016 at 11:48 am

    Hi ,
    I and my bf broke up in last Dec. It was him who initiated break up out of no where. I begged and pleaded for him to come back. There was no reason for break up. He flew to US to study in August, and I don’t know what happened and in December he sends a text telling he doesn’t feel for me anymore.
    I didn’t contact him after a while and in Feb I started texting him . he seemed nice in his reply. I confessed him that I still feel for him . he ignored my text. After that again v didn’t talk to each other much and now we are in good terms exchanging texts. But its always me who starts the convo.
    But he continuous it. He seems to be interested in knowing what am up to in life.
    I really love him. I hope I can get him back. Please help me.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 27, 2016 at 11:41 am

   Hi Anonymous,

   what are you up to these days? Are you busy? Did you improve your looks? Does he something to be interested about in your activities? Try to work on those aspects.. AS this post says. Try to check out his post too: What Really Attracts An Ex Boyfriend To You?

17. 

    Katie

    May 25, 2016 at 7:09 am

    I have read thru many articles on the web, and have listened to the podcast, but I am still lost and could not find a similar case to what I could relate to.

    My bf and I met thru apps when I was on holiday in Australia. We’ve met up twice in 2 days, got along very well, held hands and kissed, then I had to go back to where I was from. We kept in contact afterwards thru texts. He initiated most of the talk at the beginning, and tells me he really likes me, and tells me he had dreams about me. 2 weeks after I got back, I asked him why did he decide to keep in contact with me, he told me because he really likes me and want to see how far we could go. He told me if I’m serious too, he wants to start a relationship with me. He told me previously he doesn’t want a relationship because it’s too troublesome, so I asked him why now he wants to be with me? He said because it was very difficult for him to meet someone he likes enough and could click with, until he met me. He knew he wants to be with me since the second time he saw me. He also said that he will do everything possible to make us work, if that means he will have to keep flying over to see me. We decided to become official bf/gf.

    He’s a very carefree person, he loves to surf, and he could go missing all weekend when he surfs. I’ve told him that I don’t like that and he says he will try to change, and he reassured me that there are no other girls, I don’t need to worry. We’ve dated over the internet for about a month, we would try to message and talk everyday, but a lot of the time he will forget and go to sleep, and apologise the next morning. I’ve went crazy a few times and asked if he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, and he always says no, and says I’m thinking too much.

    He seems to trust me a lot, the first week into our relationship, he shared with me about his past, which is not anything glorious. He told me something about his deceased family member which he said he doesn’t even dare to tell his friends. I felt trusted and thought I’m someone special to him.

    Until last week he went missing again on the weekend, and I went crazy again, and tells him if he doesn’t feel the same anymore with us, just let me know… from then on, he had went cold turkey on me… he never told me he wants to break up or he’s sick and tired of my behaviour, he just went silent. I’ve sent him 3 more messages afterward in the spend of a week, one pretending nothing happened, one telling him I’m confused and now sure what went wrong, and the last one reminding him of the good time we had… he read every single one of them and did not reply…

    We have no common friends, we don’t have a solid understanding of each other, I don’t even have his facebook. He will be coming to my country in about a month’s time with his friends (booked before he knows me), and when we were still on good terms, we have already made some plans together… I really have no idea what’s going on, and I’m feeling so hopeless… I’ve googled online, went thru the whole of this websites and many other websites, and could not related to any case similar…

    Could you please give me some help? I don’t want to give up. We may not end up being suitable for each other, but I always thought seeing him in June is a good chance for us to talk and sort things out… it seems like I don’t even have this chance now… please please please help me

18. 

    Nani

    May 24, 2016 at 6:17 pm

    So here it goes…
    My ex and I broke about a month ago. We dated for 8 months and the reason he broke up with me was because I’m transferring to a school out of state and he admitted to me that he can’t handle me being away although I’ll only be away for months at a time. In other words, a long distance relationships isn’t something he wants. I haven’t been taking this break up lightly in fact I’ve taken it horribly. I still desire to be with him because I think he’s the one. And it’s just frustrating that the only thing standing between us was distance because had I stayed we would still be together. He supports me in every aspect of my decision to finish my last years of undergrad on an athletic scholarship and wants nothing more than for me to succeed. I also want the best for him and hope he succeeds in his athletic career as well. When we’re together we have such a great time there’s never a dull moment. Before he had broken up with me we never had any major issues and if we did we talked about it. So it’s hard for me to cope with how I’m reacting to it. I miss him and think constantly about him but I’m still moving forward and living my life as I should be. But I still have very strong feelings for him. I’ve seen him once since our break up only because I had to give him what I got for him for his birthday. It was then that I truly told him how I was feeling about the whole situation and in return he did the same. I didn’t keep his gift because it was meant for him. And I had no problem doing so because we didn’t end on bad terms at all. We’ve texted a couple times but nothing more. At this point I’m just confused as to why this a happened. I understand not everyone is made for a long distance relationship and I respect that. I had to block him on social media but I’m still not sure if that was the best decision for me. I’m still in love with him and want nothing more than to be happy with him. I know he’s not my whole world but I want him to be a part of it. I’ve been told by so many people to get over him and let go and that I’ll find someone better. But to me it’s not about finding someone better because I know what I want. I don’t want to let go of him because I have faith that we’re not completely over. But of course only time will tell. We agreed that we’re still friends but as of right now I think we both need our time to heal. I’m well aware that I can’t change him but I still want him. I want him back. And don’t want to lose that connection we established as boyfriend and girlfriend. I still want to keep him in my life and don’t know how long I should wait to contact him. Or should I wait for him to contact me to see if he really desires to be with me in return? I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and part of me thinks that our timing is just off and that maybe in time that in future we’ll still end up together. But I really don’t know what to do right now.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 27, 2016 at 8:22 am

   Hi Nani,

   If you want you can keep being friends and try to build attraction while you’re friends and build rapport too.. but the greater chance is when get back because if he really doesn’t believe in long distance relationships and your schedules as athletes is not that easy to have that, then you’re right, only after some time will there a be a higher chance of getting back together.

19. 

    Xana

    May 24, 2016 at 1:30 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me because I asked him if he was cheating on me after I saw a picture of him with another girl. Even now he says it wasnt true and I know he is lying.
    Before we broke up we were in a long distance relationship ( he is in China ) and I was going to see him only next year when I would go study in Beijing University.
    Later this week I made a mistake and had huge argument with him and he said maybe after all he didnt regret breaking up with me. And he is now dating with the girl that he cheated on me
    What should I do ? Should I just give up or start this processo again.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 27, 2016 at 6:50 am

   Hi Xana,

   Try to do no contact first, and then after it decide if you still want to try to give him a chance.

20. 

    Tanvi taneja

    May 24, 2016 at 4:47 am

    Okay we both are 18 years old . And were in a relationship for 3 years . It was a very serious relationship . We still love each other . But his mom hates me so much . Because 3 years ago when she was stalking my Facebook profile which was actually not Good . There were so many stupid comments by the cheap guys . So she thinks I am that kind of girl . And one huge mistake 2 years ago I was there at his place in a room and we were just talking . His mom and dad came . It was a huge scene . But still we were in a relationship . 6 months ago he broken up with me because he’s like I can’t cheat my mom and dad anymore . I think this relationship has a dead end . Because they will never accept you . It was a serious breakup . But after a month he came back . Everytime he break up he came back . He just can’t live without me . Everything was going smooth till last week when he talked to his mom. She said I’m okay if you make a gf . But not Tanvi . Anyone but not Tanvi . She doesn’t not know about us . She still thinks I am that same girl anymore. And they are doctors and they have this reputation in a society and I am not a doctor I am doing biotech. It is one of the reasons they will not accept me . So we had broken up because he thinks his family will never accept me . It’s a dead end . But I think after few years eye I’ll be successful when I’ll be earning . Independent . When they will see we are together from so many years . When they will see how much i love him . And how much I mean to him . But he doesn’t think these things aren’t enough . I just love him so fucking much . I want him back

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 27, 2016 at 4:09 am

   Hi Tanvi,

   Maybe he needs to talk to them to give you chance but nonetheless, your actions will help more right now. If you’re in school, aim high grades, post your achievements and make new good friends. Try to dress more “smart casual”. I”m not saying you don’t dress well, just focus more on that kind of clothes.