There is no way around it, when someone breaks up with you, it sucks. Sometimes the blow can be softened if you had a feeling a breakup was coming soon but if you were completely caught off guard then your ego definitely took a pretty big blow :/. Nevertheless, the world isn’t over and you can definitely salvage the situation. This page is going to focus on what steps you can take to get your ex boyfriend back if he broke up with you. Now, I want to give you a little notice here, I am not one of those people that is going to fill your head up with all sorts of lies saying that the methods talked about on this page are guaranteed to have him crawling back to you. All I will say is this, if you follow the advice on this page your chances of getting him back will increase dramatically.
Do You Have A Legitimate Reason?
If you want this to work then you better have a legitimate reason for wanting to get back together with your ex. I can tell you I have heard a lot of stories from women wanting to get back with their exes except when I ask them “Well, what is your biggest reason for wanting to get back together with your ex boyfriend?” they can’t come up with anything legitimate to tell me. Responses like:
- “I miss him”
- “He is the best I will ever date”
- “I don’t want to be alone”
are NOT good enough. Trust me, if you don’t have a truly legitimate reason for wanting to be back with your ex boyfriend then I can assure you that you won’t get the happy ending that you are searching for (and for the record when I talk about a happy ending I mean having a long lasting HEALTHY relationship.) Now, the things that I talk about throughout this website will work on someone, even if you don’t have a legit reason, but almost always couples that reunite without a good reason don’t have a very healthy or long relationship. I want you to have a healthy and long relationship so that is why I am preaching this so much.
By now I am hoping that you are screaming at your computer “CHRIS, WHAT IS A LEGITIMATE REASON?” Well, there are a lot of legit and non-legit reasons to want to get back with an ex. I wrote an entire page covering them here: Legitimate Reasons To Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend.
Alright, enough of this nonsense, lets get to the good stuff what do ya say?
Common Reasons He May Have Broken Up With You
As I am sure you have already figured out, men are quite complicated when it comes to relationships. There is a whole list of reasons that he may have potentially given you for the break up. Right now I don’t want you to worry about that, that is my job. What I am going to do for you is take the most common reasons that men use for a break up and tell you what they really mean. Now, I do feel it is important to mention that even though some of these reasons may be hard to face, it doesn’t mean all hope is lost, in fact, I think you will be fired up and ready to get him back after I break these down for you. Let’s take a look at the most common reasons:
- The “it’s not you, it’s me” Excuse.
- You don’t appreciate me
- I don’t want to talk about it (Silence…..)
- You Cheated On Them
The “It’s Not You, It’s Me” Excuse
Ah, the oldest excuse in the book. There are two big things you need to realize about someone who gave you this reason. First off, most of the time they are lying to you about the real reason why they wanted to breakup. Secondly, they weren’t specific about anything that you did that caused the breakup essentially leaving you in limbo land to wonder what went wrong. Off the top of my head here are some of the REAL reasons why they wanted to breakup:
- They did not find you physically or emotionally attractive but cared enough about your feelings to not tell you to your face.
- Some men have short attention spans and can get bored really fast. It is entirely possible that he just got really bored with the relationship and wanted to move on.
- His emotional and sexual wants and desires weren’t met by you. Yup, some men are real jerks just because you won’t sleep with them.
I know it may seem hopeless now but I actually have good news for you if your ex gave you the “it’s not you, it’s me excuse” but first, there are a few things that you are going to have to do. Take out a sheet of paper and list all the real reasons that you can come up with that would make him break up with you. Here is the good news, the fact that your ex cared enough to lie to you, to spare your feelings, is not a negative thing, it’s actually a positive.
You Didn’t Appreciate Him
Unlike the reason above, this is a legitimate excuse for a guy to use. Here is the deal, if you were constantly nagging your ex or criticizing him there will eventually be a point where he can’t take it anymore. No one likes to be criticized every step of the way. In fact, nothing is a bigger turnoff to a man than a woman pointing out everything he is doing wrong. Men like to be admired and appreciated. Every time you nag or criticize him (to a great extent) you are hurting your mans confidence and lowering your value in his eyes. The good news in this case is that this is something you can fix since you control what you say. Take some time and really work on being less judgmental of him.
Lets Just Drop It (Silent Treatment)
I will say that out of all the reasons I listed on this page this one gave me the most trouble. The only thing I can think of, if your ex gives you this reason, is that he is really angry about something that he refuses to talk about it. I will admit, this reason is really tough to deal with because your ex boyfriend isn’t communicating with you at all. In any case, this one is going to require you to do some deeper digging internally.
You Cheated On Them
A very popular topic here on our site except usually people ask about it if they were the ones who were cheated on. In this case, we are flipping the coin and looking at how you can recover if YOU were the one who cheated on them. Cheating is kind of tricky, there is a lot to go into but I don’t think this is the page is the proper place to do so, I can tell you that usually women cheat for emotional reasons. Perhaps your relationship with your ex wasn’t good, was going downhill or he wasn’t giving you something that you needed. Whatever the case, think really hard about if you want to get back with a person that literally numbed you enough that you cheated on them. I have found that a lot of times women who cheated on their boyfriends and then wanted them back do so because they didn’t realize how good they had it with their ex boyfriend until they see how bad the relationship is with their new boyfriend.
If you are in that category, don’t worry, you can still get your ex boyfriend back. However, I want to ask you to consult the list of legitimate reasons before you go through with anything. If you consult the list and decide you still want your ex boyfriend back just realize that it is not going to be easy. You hurt this person and you are going to have to work extremely hard to gain back their trust. It’s possible, its just going to be really hard.
The Steps To Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
Getting your ex boyfriend back is a very complicated subject that few are willing to dive into, luckily, I am one of those few. Here is the deal though, I am not going to give you the exact steps to getting your ex back on this page. I already created a mega page that does just that. This baby is 10,000 words long, took me a month to finish and I am confident enough to say that it is the most comprehensive “get your ex boyfriend back” free guide that is currently in existence. Yup, I am that confident. Anyways, if you want the exact way to get a boyfriend back please visit the following page: How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back
My wife and I were in a long distance relationship for almost two years. Through a lot of outside negative things that were happening two friends of mine died, I had surgery my job tanked and his daughter got killed in a car accident. It was a lot of stress not to mention the stress of the long-distance. But we fought a lot we had different political viewpoints we poured a lot about that. He ended up breaking up with me by text and basically said that he’s going to date someone in his area and he recommends that I do the same. I did do the no contact for 37 days but I did text them to send my things back several times finally after two months he sent my things back. We talked on the phone but it didn’t go well we ended up in an argument. He’s seeing this other woman now for 3 months and I’m freaking out that I’ll never get him back and I miss him terribly. I don’t know what to do I can stop the no contact again but I don’t know how to start a conversation or text him once that no contact is done. Also I don’t think this is a rebound relationship which is making me very nervous and I’m too afraid to let too much time go by
HI Debra,
check this one:
How To Properly Start A Conversation With Your Ex After No Contact
He is brokeup with me with no valid reason .I agree to his decision. After 14days of no contact rule I send him a message. That is my marriage is fixed you must come .then his rply was just an emoji.he don’t care for me what can I do
Hi Neenu,
That’s not a proper first no contact, and basing from that, I’m assuming you didn’t improve yourself and were not active in posting right? Check this one:
Using The No Contact Rule With Brad Browning
Hi Amor, How active I am in improving myself? I think like 50% active. And in posting I was like very active which is i’m not usually active in posting.
that’s good. Focus on that. Improve the health, wealth and relationships aspects of you life and keep being active in posting. Honestly, it looked like he got bored of the relationship.
Yes yes I think so too. Maybe he is bored with me. Well couldn’t help it either. Right now I’m trying to focus on myself to be a bettter person. I will contact you once the nc rules has been over. Thank you, Amor. 🙂
Ok, that’s good. You’re welcome!
So I met my ex boyfriend two years ago because my friend introduce him to me. Everything was perfect and we started dating 9 months ago. But the 9 months period he has to leave to studies so we practically LDR. During LDR there was no problem at all, yes we actually fight but its not ruining our relationship. And then he was back for holiday last month. During the first two weeks everything was okay. But then suddenly he grow distant. I keep quiet for 5 days and then i couldn’t take it anymore. So i asked him. And he said, “i don’t know. I couldn’t go back to my old self.” and he is literally pushing me to break up with him which is I don’t want to because i still love him very much. He said okay let’s try again slowly. But he still doesn’t change after a week and it drove me crazy. I asked him if he wanted to be with me again he said no. So i broke up with him. I am in no contact rules for 2 weeks now. The last thing i heard from my friend that he still loves me but he said if he continue to be my boyfriend he will only hurt me. So what should i do?
Hi Sarah,
how active are you in improving yourself and in posting?
Hi amor. How active I am in improving myself? I think it’s like 50%. And in posting I am like very active which is I am not usually active in posting.
that’s good. Focus on that. Improve the health, wealth and relationships aspects of you life and keep being active in posting. Honestly, it looked like he got bored of the relationship.
If he broke up with me and If he used the it’s not you, it’s me line on me… do I move on or do I still use the no contact time… and contact him once it’s over
Try the nc process first.. Improve yourself, be active in posting and then slowly build rapport after..if it doesn’t work, then move on..
Hi, Amor
I know I’ve been commenting a lot on the post…
I just, you know, I know I shouldn’t but I think too much about why he left, what I could have done wrong…It’s hard to know what was his reason because he told a lot of reasons and they just weren’t like “real”, I feel they weren’t. It was more like a “it’s not you, it’s me” and I’ve been thinking and I know it’s not true, I feel I made so many mistakes and I wasn’t as good girlfriend as I thought I was. I’m improving, and I know what to change, but even with all my past mistakes, would he take me back?
The question is, how are you now? If you were in his position, would you be interested?
My boyfriend and I started our relationship long distance. We’d fight sometimes just because of the distance. How we wanted to be together but couldn’t. We managed to see each other once a month. We worked these past few months to get everything lined up for him to move to my state so we could finally be together. June 1st I flew up to meet him and we started our drive down. We had small fights along the way but managed to get through them bc we were about to be together in the same state. After being here a week we went out. It was getting late and he started talking to these guys. I told him I was tired and he said 5 mins. One of the guys brought back another round of beers. I told him I was going outside. I sat in my car trying to rest my eyes. 15 mins later I went in and told him I was leaving. He asked how he was getting home. I said I don’t know, Uber, but I’m leaving now. He left with me but didn’t say a word. We showed up to his places and he waved for me to leave. The next day he showed up at my parents house and broke up with me. He said it’s always my way or the highway just like it was at the bar. I chased him in the rain and begged for him to talk to me but he was recording our conversation and refused to say anything other than please move and I’m done being in a relationship with you. We had talked about kids and so on together. I’m just confused with how he could let this all go like it’s nothing when we fought so hard to get in the same stateess than 5 miles from each other. He returned my calls, texts, or emails in over a week.
Sorry he *hasnt returned any of my calls or texts or emails
Look like he got tired.. Are you going to try the advice above?
My ex bf broke up with me and chose someone else. Right now im the 1st week of no contact period. But for the next days, I think he will already bring the girl back to our old place (I moved out) and I just imagine so many things that will happen. To prevent this, I think of staying at the same area, just the next unit so that he will be ashamed of bringing th girl there. But I will still surely not talk to him. Is it the right decision?
Nope.. don’t let your life decisions depend on trying to stop him on what he’s going to do with his..
Hi.. Me n my ex were dating for 1.5 years…Everything went well for the first year.. Then v were in LDR and he lives with his parents… Since his family is too orthodox we never got time to talk… Eventually we never spoke to each other over days.. I kept nagging and asking him to come back and meet me… He said he doesnt like to break up but he feels it wont work out… I really love him a lot…wat do i do abt this??
Pls help me
check this one:
EBR 054: My Exes Mom Made Him Break Up With Me
i was friends with my ex for a few years before i fell in love with him, then we went on 2 dates and he said that he didn’t want to go on anymore dates with me. Six months later we became boyfriend and girlfriend. We dated for over a year and a month ago he broke up with me, He called me to explain his issues with the relationship and i didn’t know that at the time and i got so scared that i din’t know what to say. he said he was acting like a tv bf for me and i don’t want that i love him for him and i would do anything to make him happy. My friends told me recently that he thought i was obsessed with him but i know that i am really not. a week after the breakup i called him to apologize for all the mistakes i made and he said “what do you want” and i said “i want you to forgive me and i hope we can still be friends” and he said that he forgives me and that we can. Two days after that phone call one of my friends told me that he said he will never get back together with me. After that i started the no contact period and i haven’t contacted him in three weeks and the 30 days will be over in about 1 week. What should i do to get him back? what should i do to prove i’m not obsessed? what should i do with everything he got me i’ve been hiding them but i don’t know how long i should keep hiding them?
Restart the no contact period and click this link:
The Ungettable Girl