He Broke Up With You And Now You Want Him Back

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

There is no way around it, when someone breaks up with you, it sucks. Sometimes the blow can be softened if you had a feeling a breakup was coming soon but if you were completely caught off guard then your ego definitely took a pretty big blow :/. Nevertheless, the world isn’t over and you can definitely salvage the situation. This page is going to focus on what steps you can take to get your ex boyfriend back if he broke up with you. Now, I want to give you a little notice here, I am not one of those people that is going to fill your head up with all sorts of lies saying that the methods talked about on this page are guaranteed to have him crawling back to you. All I will say is this, if you follow the advice on this page your chances of getting him back will increase dramatically.

BUT FIRST… There’s Something Important You Need To Know

I have been helping men and women get back with their exes for over half a decade and I have learned that most people have preconceived notions when they end up on my site. They think that all they have to do is follow the directions that I give them on the page and they are good to go. Now, while this may hold true in some cases I will say that getting an ex back is usually such a complex process that I can’t explain everything there is to explain in one simple article.

Luckily, I have created an “ultimate resource” for you to follow to not only get your ex back but to understand why they are acting the way they are acting.

All you have to do learn about this resource is to click the button below!

Get Relief FasterWith Tactics I Can't Put on the Blog...

 

 Do You Have A Legitimate Reason?

If you want this to work then you better have a legitimate reason for wanting to get back together with your ex. I can tell you I have heard a lot of stories from women wanting to get back with their exes except when I ask them “Well, what is your biggest reason for wanting to get back together with your ex boyfriend?” they can’t come up with anything legitimate to tell me. Responses like:

  • “I miss him”
  • “He is the best I will ever date”
  • “I don’t want to be alone”

are NOT good enough. Trust me, if you don’t have a truly legitimate reason for wanting to be back with your ex boyfriend then I can assure you that you won’t get the happy ending that you are searching for (and for the record when I talk about a happy ending I mean having a long lasting HEALTHY relationship.) Now, the things that I talk about throughout this website will work on someone, even if you don’t have a legit reason, but almost always couples that reunite without a good reason don’t have a very healthy or long relationship. I want you to have a healthy and long relationship so that is why I am preaching this so much.

By now I am hoping that you are screaming at your computer “CHRIS, WHAT IS A LEGITIMATE REASON?” Well, there are a lot of legit and non-legit reasons to want to get back with an ex. I wrote an entire page covering them here: Legitimate Reasons To Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend.

Alright, enough of this nonsense, lets get to the good stuff what do ya say?

Common Reasons He May Have Broken Up With You

As I am sure you have already figured out, men are quite complicated when it comes to relationships. There is a whole list of reasons that he may have potentially given you for the break up. Right now I don’t want you to worry about that, that is my job. What I am going to do for you is take the most common reasons that men use for a break up and tell you what they really mean. Now, I do feel it is important to mention that even though some of these reasons may be hard to face, it doesn’t mean all hope is lost, in fact, I think you will be fired up and ready to get him back after I break these down for you. Let’s take a look at the most common reasons:

  • The “it’s not you, it’s me” Excuse.
  • You don’t appreciate me
  • I don’t want to talk about it (Silence…..)
  • You Cheated On Them

The “It’s Not You, It’s Me” Excuse

Ah, the oldest excuse in the book. There are two big things you need to realize about someone who gave you this reason. First off, most of the time they are lying to you about the real reason why they wanted to breakup. Secondly, they weren’t specific about anything that you did that caused the breakup essentially leaving you in limbo land to wonder what went wrong. Off the top of my head here are some of the REAL reasons why they wanted to breakup:

  • They did not find you physically or emotionally attractive but cared enough about your feelings to not tell you to your face.
  • Some men have short attention spans and can get bored really fast. It is entirely possible that he just got really bored with the relationship and wanted to move on.
  • His emotional and sexual wants and desires weren’t met by you. Yup, some men are real jerks just because you won’t sleep with them.

I know it may seem hopeless now but I actually have good news for you if your ex gave you the “it’s not you, it’s me excuse” but first, there are a few things that you are going to have to do. Take out a sheet of paper and list all the real reasons that you can come up with that would make him break up with you. Here is the good news, the fact that your ex cared enough to lie to you, to spare your feelings, is not a negative thing, it’s actually a positive.

You Didn’t Appreciate Him

Unlike the reason above, this is a legitimate excuse for a guy to use. Here is the deal, if you were constantly nagging your ex or criticizing him there will eventually be a point where he can’t take it anymore. No one likes to be criticized every step of the way. In fact, nothing is a bigger turnoff to a man than a woman pointing out everything he is doing wrong. Men like to be admired and appreciated. Every time you nag or criticize him (to a great extent) you are hurting your mans confidence and lowering your value in his eyes. The good news in this case is that this is something you can fix since you control what you say. Take some time and really work on being less judgmental of him.

Lets Just Drop It (Silent Treatment)

I will say that out of all the reasons I listed on this page this one gave me the most trouble. The only thing I can think of, if your ex gives you this reason, is that he is really angry about something that he refuses to talk about it. I will admit, this reason is really tough to deal with because your ex boyfriend isn’t communicating with you at all. In any case, this one is going to require you to do some deeper digging internally.

You Cheated On Them

A very popular topic here on our site except usually people ask about it if they were the ones who were cheated on. In this case, we are flipping the coin and looking at how you can recover if YOU were the one who cheated on them. Cheating is kind of tricky, there is a lot to go into but I don’t think this is the page is the proper place to do so, I can tell you that usually women cheat for emotional reasons. Perhaps your relationship with your ex wasn’t good, was going downhill or he wasn’t giving you something that you needed. Whatever the case, think really hard about if you want to get back with a person that literally numbed you enough that you cheated on them. I have found that a lot of times women who cheated on their boyfriends and then wanted them back do so because they didn’t realize how good they had it with their ex boyfriend until they see how bad the relationship is with their new boyfriend.

If you are in that category, don’t worry, you can still get your ex boyfriend back. However, I want to ask you to consult the list of legitimate reasons before you go through with anything. If you consult the list and decide you still want your ex boyfriend back just realize that it is not going to be easy. You hurt this person and you are going to have to work extremely hard to gain back their trust. It’s possible, its just going to be really hard.

The Steps To Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Getting your ex boyfriend back is a very complicated subject that few are willing to dive into, luckily, I am one of those few. Here is the deal though, I am not going to give you the exact steps to getting your ex back on this page. I already created a mega page that does just that. This baby is 10,000 words long, took me a month to finish and I am confident enough to say that it is the most comprehensive “get your ex boyfriend back” free guide that is currently in existence. Yup, I am that confident. Anyways, if you want the exact way to get a boyfriend back please visit the following page: How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Published June 7, 2013, | Modified November 8, 2016

"I Can't Believe I Actually Have a Chance of Getting Him Back!"

With over 7 million women just like you coming to this site ever year, I’ve seen about every situation you could imagine. Most of the time, I can just ask a few questions about your situation and know in seconds the chances that you have of getting back together with him. I’ve compressed all of that wisdom into a single calculator What Are Your Chances of Getting Your ExBoyfriend Back.

Take 4 Minute QuizAnd Find Out Your Chances!

What Do You Think? (1,144)

  1. Joe - 0

    Joe

    hey there,
    here what happened in my life, we both couple up this year around Feb and we both had good time, but since we both are studying.. he got involved in his student life, like organizing events sience hes the head of engineering. then slowly by slowly he started spending less time with me and we started having arguments about it. the thing is he had time for hi friends and many other things but not for the relationship. like wise he said i became clingy to him which he doesnt like.. he always says that im weak when i cry! and he tells me he cares about me, but then why would he break up and then he said he moved on while he didnt… then i asked him and he said he doesnt want to hurt me thats y he had to lie regarding that he moved on. i just love him so much i really which he knows how i feel.. i just want him back but i dont know wat to do.. even in university we have mutual friends and more.. he avoids me like nthg happened and that hurts. what should i do?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Joe,
      do you want to try the advice above?

  2. Anon - 0

    Anon

    Hello; my long distance relationship ended almost 3 weeks ago and my last and only attempt at getting him back was 2 days through text after he told me his decision to break up with me, but he didn’t respond and we haven’t been in contact with each other. He doesn’t have interest in a relationship or a friendship with me anymore because he perceived me as overly clingy. It had gone downhill from a text I sent him after last seeing him, when I left my phone with him and I needed it back so he drove to get it to me and we used that opportunity to spend time with each other, and I really regret it; I don’t know what I was thinking and it’s become totally embarrassing for me, too, but for best illustration, it was this:
    I really appreciate you having come; getting my phone back can’t compare at all with getting to see you again 🙂 I was also happy to have been introduced to your friends and am glad we had some time for ourselves, how ever little, but man, it’s been bad enough that when I needed to be doing school work the entire time I had you on my mind from Saturday to when you came today, and now the cycle repeats until the next time, whenever that is (laughing emoji, sweating happy face emoji)
    The message was followed by me giving him some details on the next times there might be reasons to see each other, such as performances, and asked him to keep me updated on what events he planned on coming to if any.
    I now cringe about the entirety of that and understand why that must’ve been such a turn-off and made him think that a relationship or a friendship with me wouldn’t be healthy since it seemed I would be obsessive and things along those lines; it must have scared him off so much and ruined his interest. This was the only thing that changed things; we had no other issues or rough spots, and I had tried equally as much to keep him interested before the relationship as during, but this is where I slipped up and lost my chill. Though that sent a really strong clingy vibe, I am determined to diminish it and get him back. How do I do it when we don’t see or talk to each other and he might think that I’m only keeping myself from contacting him because he told me to and sees my keenness about at least staying friends as just adding to the impression of clinginess? How can I make it so that he’ll trust me enough not to be clingy that he’ll willingly stay in touch with me, and I can work my way up from there in the future with the circumstances I have? Thank you!

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4
    • Anon - 0

      Anon

      Thank you very much for your reply! I have looked at the suggested pages, but I have a few questions dealing with my particular case: What can I do when it comes to working on myself so that not only am I benefitting myself for doing it, but my ex also notices if we aren’t in contact, are inactive on social media, and don’t see each other? Do I try to reflect my progress if I see him in person again? Do I do that by reaching him after no contact even though he told me not to contact him again when we broke up? And what is there to do if the problem was more that I made him feel I was feeding off of any interactions I had with him to an unhealthy degree rather than an issue of not being my own person (because I didn’t lose my own life for his, which I was better able to do because of our distance)?

    • Anon - 0

      Anon

      are not active*

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      You have to be active in posting is social media.. whether he has an account or not, because there is still a big chance that he will check your account once he gets curious why you stopped chasing.
      I didn’t understand your last question though..If you meant you were clingy, that means you weren’t active enough in your own time because if you were active in your time, you wouldn’t be clingy. Yes, you are distant, but I think what you meant is that you were demanding? Correct me if I’m wrong. That still means you’re clingy. He has to see during and after nc that you’re more busy. You don’t have much time for him and you’re not asking nor demanding more time from him anymore because you have a lot on your plate.

      He has to see that you’re starting to move on during nc, so that there’s a higher chance that he will initiate during it or he would think that you’re just being friendly after nc if you initiate. That’s why you have to keep the routine that you will start during nc while your’e rebuilding rapport with him slowly.

  3. Er - 0

    Er

    My boyfriend of 3.5 years just broke up with me yesterday night. I am 18, he turned 19 today. I know – we are young and have our whole future ahead of us, but there has always been something about our relationship that other people didn’t understand. To us our age didn’t matter. We built and matured our relationship responsibly and very well. Last week, I got very defensive, and accused him of never being interested in me and being cold to me whenever he had a lot of schoolwork. He angrily went to bed (however still said “I love you”), and later that night I sent him an apology for how I should have been more understanding and supportive of his work. He texted me good morning the next day, which is usually a sign that we are okay, and so I sent him a few cute messages to brighten his day. I didn’t hear from him for 5 days, which was VERY new, as we never missed a day of talking, and will admit i was very pushy and clingy the first 2 days, trying to get him to answer constantly when I knew he wouldn’t). I realized how much of a mistake that was, and sent him a long letter about how sorry I was for my actions, how he deserved the space he asks for, and how I took full responsibility for my actions, and how I would change them to be more understanding and supportive. Then on the 5th day (last night), I received a call and he broke up with me. We talked today, (because despite the break up we both know that we can’t just give each other up so easily and heartlessly), and he told me that he wasn’t as happy as before – he said that he didn’t mean that he was unhappy being with me, just that he wasn’t as happy in general. And that he likes being alone sometimes, and needed to figure things out on his own. I find it nearly impossible that in the span of 6 days he has magically fallen out of love with me. He says right now that he loves me as his best friend – again, I strongly choose to believe that this is because he doesn’t want to admit he still loves me, in order to try and spare my feelings. He keeps saying that maybe in the future when we are both single we can reconnect, but that I am still his best friend and that we can still hang out and be there for each other, and that it is still ok for me to love him. He wants me to have the opportunity to meet other people. I respect that and thank him for wanting that for me, just to get rid of the “what ifs” before we actually commit. But I personally do NOT want to meet anyone else. We have been so strong for 3.5 years. And, don’t get me wrong, I love him too much to push him out of my life because of this. He IS my best friend, but he was also my boyfriend who had always talked to me about our future. I still am grateful that he sees me as his best friend and hasn’t just thrown me away completely, but I want him back as my boyfriend. Right now, he says he is just happier being alone sometimes, rather than being in a relationship, which is something I have never heard from him in our 3.5 years together. Earlier this semester, I suggested a break and he fought against it. But i decided on it anyway, then quickly realized that my reasons were unreasonable, and “ended” the break i wanted from him. He later broke up with me (about a week later), but quickly got back together with me as well. Then I visited him back on Oct. 8th, and he just kept telling me how he truly believed that we could make it no matter how hard things got. I just don’t understand how he could want to be alone, and just give up what we built together, and just be best friends, so suddenly? How successful do you think the no contact rule would be in this situation? Again, I know the no contact rule is crucial in healing before we can rebuild our friendship (which we kind of painfully and only somewhat successfully jumped right into trying today), but do you think maybe he just really does need time to miss me and realize what he’s giving up?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      HI Er,

      there’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work but I think you don’t have any better choice than to give him space and to use that time to improve yourself.

  4. Bancy - 0

    Bancy

    Hello. My boyrfriend just broke up with me, cause I was just pushing him and make some tension without no reason. He told me several times that it doesnt have reason for my behavior..but i think the glass was full and it happen what happend. He doesnt want to talk with me, he blocked me from fb and phone and all social media…i made some drama, a begged, prayed but it make things just went worse… i think im gonna die. 4 days i dont have any contact with him… i don ttry at all beacause i have nothing to say anymore…. a did my best! and worse 🙂
    What should i do…

    Reply
  5. Bri - 0

    Bri

    My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday, six days after I got back home from visiting him in the city he goes to school in, he said he has been having thoughts about not seeing us long term. We were together for 3 years, I am 21 and we were long distance for 1 year. He really made the breakup about caring for me, asking if I’m interested in seeing other people and concerned that I might have missed out on life because we started dating when I was so young (we started dating when I was 17 and he was 22).

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Bri,

      are you open in trying the no contact rule?

  6. Cherry - 0

    Cherry

    Hi,

    My almost 3 years ex broke up with me last week. during the break up it was so hard for us and we were both crying so badly. I gave in my all to him. He told me he wants to focus on his work for now on. He admits he still love me but not as much as before because he is too driven in his work. He said eventhough we cant be lovers but still can be best friends. But I have met him twice after we broke up but he was very cold towards me. I always had an question in mind wondering if we both love each other why cant we just continue and try. He said while he is working he would definitely neglect me and throw me aside, he knows i would be totally fine with it because im understanding. He dont want to continue to take me for granted. I do text him things like i will always be waiting for you. and he would reply me with grateful texts. He will always remind me like let him know if i need any help & things like that. It is so hard to me to let go because he still treats me nice. But I really really want him back. Do you think there is a chance for us?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Cherry,

      well, don’t put yourself in the friendzone or the chaser position. Letting him know that you’ll wait for him is like letting him just make you wait, and wait and wait. There’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work, but it’s better than just waiting.

  7. Bianca - 0

    Bianca

    My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago. I love him with all my heart. All my heart and he says he loves me too. But recently we have been fighting. And he has come to the conclusion that he has lost the spark and drive to make us work because of Ireland- a lot of his friends are moving back to Ireland (where he is from) currently and he now says he needs to move back. He doesn’t want to raise kids here etc etc. And he wouldn’t ask me to move. Even though I have said that I wouldn’t rule Ireland out. I asked if ther was someone else and there isn’t. He says it has always been me. He can still barely keep his hands off me and want to kiss me but he doesn’t see a long term future anymore. I am completely lost. I love him so much. I just don’t know how to move on from someone who loves me and I love them. I have spoken to my family about it. She says To give him space but if it is worth it Ireland isn’t far from England. They would all support me moving over when and if the time was right. We just need more time to develop our relationship. Even if that means he moves over whilst I sort my career over here and I go see him every few weeks in Ireland. If our feelings are strong enough for eachother then we will wait for each other. Have spoken to my family about it all. And they are all believers that if I love him enough and he loves me enough I should move to Ireland when the time is right for us to work. My grandma moved to south Africa to be with my grandad in the end of the day. I have told him this. I need a few years to settle my career etc so I could be able to have an income in Ireland and I would wanna live with him first properly before making the move and things like that but I would move. Believe it or not. Never thought I would. But it seems as though he is playing games. Which I don’t get. He knows all f this, which was the biggest worry of our relationship so that pressure of Ireland has gone, but he won’t directly text me and talk to me but he will Snapchat me or send me pictures and things on Facebook. What game is e playing?! What has he got to gain by doing all of this? I keep going round in my head saying he is playing me-but then I think what for?!!! I have told him j would give him the one thing he wants, and then I think is he trying to give us space to think but can’t fully not have contact wth me so keeps snap chatting and sending pics to me on Facebook- in which j think why not just talk to me?! Make sense?? So we aren’t together currently. But we are still going on a European trip together end of the month but I have no idea what to do right now. I am so lost. And seems as though he just doesn’t care.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Bianca,

      I’m going to be realistic here. You’re willing to give it all up and adjust.. Is he willing to do the same? His friends leave and now he changes his mind but even if you’re willing to do all that you can, he doesn’t seem to want to compromise with you right?

      But in his defense, maybe he’s just not that serious for a relationship yet. Maybe he does have feelings for you but he’s not that committed. Did you sleep with him after the break up? Don’t do it again. Do you want to do the no contact rule?

  8. Lorn'e - 0

    Lorn'e

    my boyfriend broke up with me a day after i told him that i didnt want to make everything so fast then after that i talked to him on social media and stuff and it was a normal conversation then he texted me “i think we should break up” then i asked why and he said we were distant but i dont know how we were

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Lorn’e,
      When did you broke up? How long were you together? How old are you and are you in a long distance relationship? How long was the relationship?

  9. Lisa - 0

    Lisa

    My boyfriend broke up with me after I sent him an email expressing some concerns I had, including that he may have unresolved feelings over the loss of his marriage, and sometimes if et frustrated that when I’m telling him
    Something serious, he turns to make it about himself. We have never had a big fight a typically have great communication and can talk about problems. 4 days earlier he was telling me he was daydreaming of our future together and feels that I am his perfect match. After the email, he cut me off, broke up with me in a text and turned to make it about how I devalued him. I was stunned and apologized for my insesatoce delivery and poor choice of words, and never meant to hurt him, but if that’s what he wanted I would respect it. I unfriended on Facebook because I don’t want to see him moving in because it will hurt me. He got really angry about it and lashed out… first blocking me. Keep in mind he is 44. He told me that have a lot to learn about relationships and that if I really wanted to talk about how this sucked up, I wouldn’t like what I was going to hear about myself. I said no thanks, im not interested in cruelty and though I could be cruel too, I chose not to with him, and good luck. I’m really stunned. I thought we were in love a few days ago and have never gotten this from him. I wouldn’t take him back after that, but I’m so hurt. I’m not sure what to do with it. I don’t know what to make of it because I don’t think it deserved that kind of response. I said something that may have been hard to hear, but not in an attacking way. I just at least wanted to have an adult Conversation with him about it, and even if it wasn’t going to work out, we could walk away in a friendly way. Why do I still want to hear from him? What do I do with this?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Lisa,

      how long were you together? It looks like you’re in long distance relationship? How many times have you met in person? It’s normal that you still want to hear from him, you’re used to talking to him.

  10. Holly - 0

    Holly

    Hey,

    My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday after an 11 months relationship. We are both 17, he said that all the fights and our differences torn us apart. The problem is that I am too needy and I always want him by my side… Which makes him annoyed because he doesn’t have enough of his ‘freedom’. We fight because we have a lack of trust in each other. Sometimes I feel like he would cheat, even though deep down inside of my heart I know he wouldn’t. Sometimes, he would avoid certain topics or lie just to stay out of our fights, and it really bothers me. However, I am willing to do any change that it takes… I want to know what can I do to get him back because he really means a lot to me. I would really like a second chance…

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Holly,

      do you want to try the no contact rule?

    • Jas - 0

      Jas

      Mine broke up with me yesterday, after a fight.. We were together for 7 months. I still love him, but didnt beg or whatsoever.. I just said ‘take care of yourself. X You are a great personen and deserve the best.’ and left … I miss him so much.

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Jasmine,

      how many days does he go silent and how many times has he done this?

  11. Kate - 0

    Kate

    Hi,
    My boyfriend and I broke up last week. Im 18 and he is 19, we we’re together for almost 2 years and before that we we’re bestfriends since highschool. Things started to go downhill when he asked me space for space 3 weeks back, he said that he was tired because all we do is fight and he just wanted to clear his head. He said that I should give him a week. I respected his decision but everyday i kept on sending good morning and good night messages to him. He said he missed me but he needs another week. So i didn’t text him the following and he came back. Things were all good and it went back to normal but 3 days before the official break up he kept on pushing me away or so i think he was. His grandfather was confined in the hospital having pancreatic cancer, he didn’t want to talk about it but i kept on bugging him that it was my right to know what he was feeling because as his girlfriend I will support him and be there for him. He got angry because I kept on bugging him he said that I didn’t understand what personal space is. I broke up with him but then took it back the day after and said sorry because I was just angry and frustrated with the situation. We then got to talk and he said that he wants to break up because at this point of time he wasn’t ready to have a relationship at the moment, he has a lot pf problems that he was facing and it wasn’t my fault it was his fault that he felt this way. He said that he still loves me and he will always have a special place in his heart. He said that maybe if the time comes if we were ment to be we might go back to each others arm. He wanted to see each other ASAP so we can talk personally. (We broke up via call) Immediately after the break up i kept on bombarding him with messages being a GNAT and begging him to take me back. At first we were talking but it was very limited but then he started not replying. He said he didn’t want to talk to me because we have broken up. He got pissed because i kept on texting him and he said that he didn’t love me anymore and he only sees his love for me as a friend. He said that I deserve better and the only thing that would make him happy is seeing me with another man. That hurt me but I’m confused he said before he still love me then when he got pissed he said that his love for me was only as a friend and he will be happy if I” in a different relationship. What should I do I read about the NC rule should I do it? It wouldn’t be hard because we study in different universities but What if he tottally moves on from me? I want to get back together with him because we made the best out of each other and we had the same goals in life. Btw this is the first time we’ve broken up. During the NC rule, should i still see him because we’ve planned to see each other so that we can have closure? What should I do when we meet? Thank you I hope you can answer me.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Kate,

      if you’re going to meet, meet first before starting the no contact rule.. There’s no guarantee that it will worl but gnatting him will just make your situation worse

  12. DiamondInTheRough - 0

    DiamondInTheRough

    My boyfriend left me on Oct 4th after a 9 month relationship

    We were happy at first but we had a D/S relationship

    Me – Domme
    Him-Sub

    I had slapped him a few days before he left thinking that he wanted it.

    (I said “I feel like slapping you” and he answered “Slap me” hence I slapped him thinking he wanted it and I thought that would’ve turned him on)

    Now he said he has fallen out of love with me because of that

    I did tell him to reset the relationship as I wasn’t a real Dom (and he’s not a real Sub either) but he has refused although he texted me a few times on FB and Whatsapp ( I haven’t replied to him)

    His birthday was a few days ago when I started NC and I didn’t send him any birthday wishes

    What do I do If I want him back?

    Do I keep the NC going?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Diamond in the rough,

      so,.that means you broke up becauuse he doesnt want that kind of relationship anymore right? He wants a “normal” one? if that’s it, then that would mean after nc, you have to take it as a reset and juat be friendly at first.. forget the previous relationship.. Move on from it and start out as friends again

  13. Jaweria - 0

    Jaweria

    My boyfriend and I broke up Oct 17th, 2016. We fought for 3 weeks before the break up. He said I crossed the line too many times and he was getting tired of getting pushed and pulled away by me. I told him I wanted to to be single and explore. (only reason I started to feel this way is he was suffocating me with his insecurity of me either getting raped, or cheating on him while I’m out with my friends drinking he would make me feel bad before going out and then I would bail on my friends because I felt guilty of how I was making him feel and he was a pretty jealous guy too) I told him all of that and he siad he can’t control the way he feels and he should be allowed to express how he feels. I told him there was a better way to approach me about it. We fought about a lot of useless things because I’m 21 and he is 27. We had been together almost 2 years. Oct 17th, 2016 In the morning we agreed on a clean slate and I believed that clean slate would work. I was at school and work all day so he had time to think and people to talk to. I asked him to bring me something to eat to work and I could tell he didn’t sound the same something was wrong. He came dropped off the food he talked to me weird and left pretty quick. I called him a few minutes after and he said he’d talk to me when I get to the house. I refused and told him to tell me and saidh e wanted to break up and I immediately asked him who he talked to to make that decision he refused to tell me I had a total melt down over the phone. After work I went to his house and started to grab my stuff he shortly came down and made me me feel he still wanted to sit and talk about what he had said he tried to smile at me. I asked him to help me with my bags and he did. We stood outside for awhile. He told me the reasons why he wanted to break up and it was I crossed the line to many times, he didn’t like being pushed and pulled away and we said I love you a few times, hugged. I told him I always loved him more then he did me and that he doesn’t have to worry aboug me anymore. And he said you have no idea how much I care about you. We said I love you again and hugged and I left. He seemed to be holding back tears as it was hard for both of us and we were very civil about it. And he said that it was nice I cared about the break up because his ex didn’t. I also asked for a 2 week break while he was out for work before I left for school that day and I feel that might have caused the break up as well. Because he never wanted to take breaks he always wanted to fix the problem right away. But I like my space to collect my self. We had a lot of issues but I believe we can work through this I want him back and I will stop fighting with him over silly things and appreciate him more. I know where I was wrong now. On Wednesday same week we broke up he said I still had some stuff at his house and that he needed his key back. I didn’t reply as I am doing the no contact rule. I just texted his dad letting him know my sister was going to come by to grab my stuff. Next day my ex unfriended me off fb. When he said we could be friends to make it easier for me to get over the break up but he wouldn’t talk to me as much. I feel he took that off the table once he unfriended me. But he still follows me on instagram. He has started liking other girls pictures on instagram and told one her pictures were great too and adding other women on facebook. Please tell me I have chance of getting him back. He said I made him realize I was only there for a season. That’s not true I don’t wanna be single the guys are awful I don’t knwo what I was thinking. I don’t even like going to clubs. Please please. I was hoping he would have texted me by now saying it was major mistake but nothing. It seems like he is trying to move on and I don’t want him to I’m panicking. Please help me

    Reply
  14. Simone - 0

    Simone

    Hi,

    I broke up with my partner 2 weeks ago. It came out of no where and he said the feelings and just started disappearing in waves until there was just no feeling left. It didn’t make a lot of sense to me and I struggled living in the same house for 2 weeks. I decided I couldn’t live there anymore and moved out yesterday. A friend of his had recently come back into his life. He told me it was a friend but I think it was an ex he has now at least hooked up with. I found this out the day before I left and we ended up arguing to a point where he yelled at me we are done forever and that was it. However since I’m living with my sister he has agreed to continue looking after my cat. Which is somewhat confusing.

    He has a lot of personal issues with his family and he needs to work through them, but despite that, he’s a good guy that is a little lost. we were fine one day and the literally ended the next. Is it still now worth trying this process?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Simone,

      other than moving on, yeah, doing no contact is still worth a try..

  15. Lilly - 0

    Lilly

    Hi,

    My boyfriend broke up with me 3 days ago, so I know it’s all very recent but I’m finding all this to be so silly. The main reason why he did it is because I hurt him without knowing and he failed to let me know. Of course I wouldn’t have hurt him had I known what I was doing, but I didn’t no so I continued to do it. I thought we were perfectly fine, we were happy. The night before we broke up we were playing video games and talking about silly things we just talk about.
    We’d been together 8 months, and after 7 months he told me that when I was angry at him and didn’t tell him why, it hurt him. (I have a way of wanting the other person to feel the same pain I’m feeling, so I’ll stick my finger right where I know it’s going to hurt). I didn’t know how much I was hurting him, but he wanted to break up (a month ago). He eventually decided to give me one more chance, as long as I made an effort and as long as he promised to tell me if I hurt him. One month later, I was convinced I was doing things right, but as it turns out I was hurting him, and he hadn’t told me until it was too late and the damage was already too much. I’m very confused about this whole situation, it could’ve been so easily avoided. I have a strange feeling that we’re not really over, we still have so much to do together, we were both so happy together. His best friend told me he was a miserable git before we got together. I guess I’m just wondering if I’m fooling myself in thinking that we could have another chance, or if it really could happen. I have not contacted him since the break up (obviously) because I need to give him space.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Lilly,

      did he tell how you hurt him when he was breaking up with you? Try do 30 days of no contact.. and then list the things that might have hurt him avoid doing that when building rapport

  16. Pinktie - 0

    Pinktie

    Hi there, my boyfriend and I have beej together for 13 years andbroke broke up with me 2 weeks ago. He said that he doesn’t want to be with anymore because I kept bringing up past issues that hes already apologized for. And according to him aside from the fact that we have diffrences in attitude,priorities,want..he fell in love with his officemates 10years younger than ours and also in a 1year relationship. He fell in love because she appreciated him and believe in his strenghts.though I’m hurt about that and i still understand him.. . I realky love him and i dont want to give up our relationship.Should I try and work things out or just focus on myself/ my dreams? My dreams are the only thing holding me together.is there a chance that we can still be together or make things work after the breakup.thank you.

    Reply
  17. Cris - 0

    Cris

    Hi, my boyfriend and I had this discussion and then we talked and he said he understand my feelings and i finaly thought we were fine, then at the same day at night he texted me saying we were under too much stress and we didnt were in a best version of ourselfs, he said he would not judge me and for me not judge him (about our fight) and then i thought ok.. we are good.
    Then at the next day he started to act weird.. and then i asked him if we did break up, and he said maybe we should let things get cool and let it be… then he didnt say a word for 2 days and then i called him… and he started saying he needed some space and then after that he said ok i dont want this relatonship anymore we will never see again.. then he said for me live my life and maybe he will talk to me again… But im not understanding anything!!!!!

    He was loving me and then he just break up, and he says it was because i cried when we were fighting!

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Cris,

      he thinks you’re needy.. Are you going to do the no contact rule?

  18. pmav - 0

    pmav

    I’m sorry if this is too long. This is what happened with my now ex. We both work in the same company, he works in a totally different dept than me but we still see each other every once in a while (sometimes 2 times a week), other times i would see him but he walks past me because he’s too buy carrying boxes or is in a hurry. When we first met, I had just been promoted and there was something i needed help with (he works in the IT dept so i needed him to set up my work email), so i asked him for help and he would jokingly say no (he loves to joke around) and then he said he would help me if i did something funny for him, which i did and made him laugh, then he agreed to help me (he had to though because it was work obviously). Anyway, since he is from the IT dept and I had also started a computer programming class, i told him i needed his help and he agreed to it, we made connection instantly, it was so natural. After he helped me with my email, he had to test it so he sent an email from me to me with his phone number. Later on that day, during the evening, i texted him and we started to talk, the next four days after that, he stayed with me helping me with my homework and he was nice and patient. The last day he helped me, i invited him to go for lunch with me as a thank you for helping me and he agreed to it. The next day (Saturday), we went to one of my favorite restaurants and we had a great time, and after we ate, we went to a park and talked for almost six hours straight, there was a moment in which we looked into each other’s eyes for over 5 seconds but we didn’t kiss (we talked about it days later and we both wanted to). When i went home, we kept talking, we talked about everything, there was a moment he said “i feel like i can tell you everything about me and feel comfortable with it”. On monday, i asked him to go with me somewhere, and he waited for me for 3 hrs and then went to that place with me, and then, he kissed me in the elevator and that’s when it all started, we were so close and we had inside jokes and it was all lovely, he was attached and bought me small gifts but i had my doubts about whether i was attached or not. Then, as days went by, i started to catch feelings. We very close and talked a lot and had great dates. He told pretty much everything about his personal life, although i think there’s something deep that happened to him that he almost told me but changed the topic immediately. After two months, i kept catching feelings but he started to seem off, he even once told me to not demonstrate affection, but i couldn’t help it. Then the arguments took place, he suddenly didn’t have time for us to go out and was always busy, and day after day, he was busier than the day before, and i got pissed about it and started to argue even more, and he said something about ending things because they weren’t working. He is very defensive so whenever we had an argument, he talked about ending things but then we fixed them and things seemed to be fine but he always seemed off. Then he told me he was starting to feel detached from me and that that was something that happened to him in every relationship he had and girls just dumped him because of that (he has this natural lack of interest that makes him seem like he doesn’t care and he always seems off, even before i met him). A few weeks ago, we met up (after not going out for like a month) he told me he thought it’d be best for us to end the relationship and remain friends because of that (his lack of interest), and i told him that i didn’t care and that i accepted him for who he was, and he was surprised and agreed for us to try again (he admitted that he wanted to try), it only lasted two weeks, my problem is that i said that i didn’t care but i kept arguing because of that, and so i kept arguing and arguing, and then he said that we should end things for real because he was feeling detached and didn’t know when he would feel this way again for me, if he ever did. He also said that he’ll be there for me no matter what. A week before he broke up with me, he seemed really of and i asked him what was going on and he said he didnt know. I honestly dont know what happened, we had a special connection and it was more romantic than sexually, there were some things we did that he told me he wouldn’t be doing them with me if i weren’t something serious to him. He is very naturally disinterested so i thought he didn’t want me, but a friend of ours told me that he admitted to wanting to be with me, and that was 3 days before he broke up with me, and whenever i asked him about us, he would always avoid that topic, he always avoided talking about deep feelings in general but got mad several times when i said i didn’t need him and he was extremely defensive.. Two weeks after the breakup, i find out that he is dating somebody else. And another week after that, he texted me saying “i want you to know that nothing has happened, but i started to see someone”, and then he skipped the subject immediately and started to talk about going to the doctor with me (i have some health issues), i tried to talk him out of it because i thought he was saying that out of pity, but he literally insisted in going with me. I really want him back. Shoud i let him go to the doctor with me? What would be your advice and what do you think would work to get him back? I’m on day 3 of NC (he was the last to reply to my text so i just left it there)

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Pmav,

      he doesn’t want a serious relationship? You mean he has commitment issues?

  19. Ang - 0

    Ang

    Hi there, my boyfriend and I have dated for four years and he recently broke up with me 2 1/2 weeks ago. He said that he doesn’t want to be with anymore because I kept bringing up past issues that hes already apologized for. After the break him, he texted me a few days later saying he was thinking of me and asked to take me out. I agreed and spent the night over to his house, I snooped through his phone while he was in the shower and found out that he also asked to take his ex girlfriend (before me) out on a date next month. I’m hurt about that and I don’t understand why he would ask her out if he trashed talked about her our whole relationship. We really haven’t texted since than and I’m feeling pretty used right now when I thought I Kent more and he missed me. I love him with all me heart and I don’t know how to move on. Should I try and work things out or just focus on myself/ my dreams? My dreams are the only thing holding me together.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Ang,

      he texted her while you’re on a break? It looks like he talked to her to try to make himself feel better.. if you want, start the count for no contact rule and just focus in improving and healing yourself. Do atleast 30 days

  20. Rylee - 0

    Rylee

    okay so me and my boyfriend have been off and on for around two years. Over the summer I learned that he was trying to get his ex back and using me. We broke up for a long time and he had a new girlfriend for about a moth. we just got back together a few weeks ago and he was a completely new person. He was genuine and he truly wanted to be with me. He went to a party the other night and I heard he was trying to sleep with this girl from another town & so I texted him. I texted him “hey I heard some stuff and we need to talk” he dint reply so I sent “what is wrong with you why would you do this to me” then I sent “I’m so done.” I was really mad and upset because more than one person told me he had done this. I also saw pictures of them laying next to each other on social media. He texted me back around an hour later and he told me that he didn’t touch her. That he told her no and he was thinking of me and couldn’t stop. Because he was with me earlier that day. he said he wanted us to work really bad and hat he wasn’t going todo anything to mess it up. I believe him right after he told me his story. but it was too late. He told me he was mad because I said I was done. So he told me to leave him alone after I had told him how sorry I was. I might have begged just a little bit. Not much. I really shouldn’t have done that. But I want him back so badly, i love him and I don’t want to lose him. What should I do? Apologize in person? Not talk to him for a few days? Please help!!! I don’t know what to do!!

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Rylee,

      he did something wrong and then he apologizes and then you apologized and then uses your apology against you? He sounds guilty.. because if he really didnt do anything then he would have understood your reaction.. Honestly, it looks like he’s not serious with you…It’s like he knows he has a chance with you, so he goes to try it again with you but that doesnt mean he’s serious.. Well, his recent act doesn’t show he’s serious..

      I think it’s still better to start no contact and try 30 days.. and I think you should check this one out:
      The Ungettable Girl

  21. Anna - 0

    Anna

    Hi. So I am in no contact since August 17th, and have seen my ex (by accident) twice.

    I tried no contact a few times but failed miserably after just 3 days, and after breaking it I did behave a bit crazy. Begging, crying, basically did all the mistakes you can possibly do. The last time we talked I was also acting crazy over him going out with one of his female friends (they went out quite a lot). He told me he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore, and that he just doesn’t love me. Claiming he just wants me to leave him alone. And that is exactly what I did! I blocked him on every social media and dissapeared completely out of sight. I saw for the first time after 25 days, and we were both so confused. We stopped and just stared at each other, then I turend around and walked away. the second time I saw him was in the city, I was pretending that I didn’t see him, but he was turning around all the time and staring at me.

    So, do you think I should continue no contact? Will it work? Do I have a good chance of him coming back?

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Anna,

      There’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work. The question is, how much have you improved?

  22. Stella - 0

    Stella

    Hi!

    I have posted on the ” How to get your exboyfriend back” page but I’m not sure if my post got sent so I will submit one here. Me and my boyfriend broke up a month ago. We were happy, no arguments between us what so ever, we were loyal to eachother, and was very affectionate with eachother. We were in a relationship for 5 months. During this relationship, every minute I spent with him was happiness. We always teased eachother, we spoke about the future and looking forward to eachother. Before our relationship, we were really close friends. We spoke day and night, through whatsapp, snapchat, calling everyday. We have so much mutual interests in us and the biggest one that got us together was music! We are both singers and loved to sing, talk about music alot.

    I was the one that approached him but indirectly confessed my love to him to find out what he thinks about me. When he knew I was talking about him as the guy i loved, he said” are you sure? because i don’t want to get hurt later” this is his first relationship but at the same time I was scared to approach him, fearing I would get hurt. But he told me, “he’s not the type to hurt anyone so don’t worry, tell me.” Eventually I confessed and that’s when we started dating.

    That was some bit of info about how we got into a relationship, now to the breakup. So before the breakup, things weren’t going so well. We didn’t fight at all but I noticed a change in him. He stopped being affectionate to me through the phone, he got mad when I asked his friend to take care of him because he got scarred on his arm but when he called to talk about that issue, that was the last “I Love you” he said to me. Ever since then he wasn’t talking like he normally would. Yeah he was talking, but I didn’t see the love. I asked him is everything okay? are you fine? He said yeah don’t worry, I’m good. I kept telling him that I’m there for him if anything. I got scared because out of all this days, this was the first time he spoke to me in this way. I even asked him, did I do something wrong? and he said no, I’m just pissed off at other stuff.

    Later one night, he messaged saying to call him. I called and he said ” For the past two weeks, I haven’t been feeling it, let’s just be friends, it’s only been 5 months”. I was shocked, seeing a man love me so much and giving me confidence that he will be there for me had said such words to me. Literally broke my heart, but that first week he literally saw me in person and was really affectionate with me. He spoke about doing my birthday and then doing my 21st even bigger. He also told me that he’ll take me far next time we meet. But how did this happen? I don’t know. Is it because I cared for him?

    After 2 weeks of the breakup, i had no clue to the no contact rule so I didn’t apply it. I asked him for a closure so I can meet up with him and talk to him in person in order to solve this problem and get back together. He said he will and ended up dragging it. 2 days after the breakup, I posted a quote on snapchat story, it was only for a day but he unfriended me because of that. But he didn’t block /unfriend me on whatsapp or facebook or instagram. He kept liking my pictures when I post them on fb or instgram. Mostly, I would communicate to him just to know if he will be coming to rehearsal and to fill up doodles. This routine followed for a month and week. He would always give me one word replies when I ask him about rehearsals or doodles. I tried to talk to him but only one word answers. During this time, my friend tried to talk to him about it. He told her that he doesn’t think it will work and it’s all his fault. He also mentioned that he wasn’t perfect for me. And then yesterday night, I couldn’t take it anymore and I asked him why he is behaving this way, I expressed to him how hurting it is when he does that. He told me he wants to be friends with me and just be normal when really I just want him to talk normally. I spoke to him about the last meet up, why he had to meet me if he didn’t feel anything and be all affectionate? He said it was all my fault, and by talking more about this, nothing is going to happen, just stop, I am sorry. And then he mentioned saying you’re hurting me by saying all this again and again about how much you loved me. And the he said After that night I talked to you, I really felt bad too, But you’re making it worse for me. Eventually he said, I’m sorry for hurting you again, leave it, i will stop talking to you. But then eventually we kept speaking and he told me that he wasn’t perfect for me and he knows how serious I was with him. He felt bad saying what do you want me to do now?

    I shouldn’t have done that, kept chasing him and begging for a closure just so I can get the chance to meet up with him. I thought if we do end up meeting this way, I can speak to him in person and sort things out. Now, we’re talking normally. Not like how we used to speak but having a friendly talk. I gave him my apologies for what happened last night, I shouldn’t have reacted like this. I really love him , every minute of the time we were together, we had a good time. I honestly don’t know why this had to happen between us. What do I do from this point? I honestly don’t want to be friends but for now I am trying to be a normal friend.

    My friend thinks now I’m forcing him to talk to me after all this and saying that even if you guys do get back, he wont be happy. But I strongly believe that we have potential, no matter what happens around us, I know that we both are a good couple and he is perfect for me. Please help me.

    Thank you

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      HI Stella,

      sorry for the late reply. YEs it went through, I just haven’t reached your comments yet. Do you want to try what’s advised here and in the other article?

  23. Anon - 0

    Anon

    Hii
    Okay umm i tried to post this before but im not sure it did post so im trying again.
    so my bf broke up with me yesterday after a huge fight before yesterday. So we had this huge argument before yesterday, then he asked me something the next day and i may have infuriated him and he broke up with me. I was really shocked i just answered with an okay but in general I’m a person who doesn’t enjoy displaying my vulnerability to people so even if I’m hurt i don’t really express it much. Anyways after breaking up with me, he gave me advice telling me that in love theres no dignity and things like that (when we fight i usually wait for him to break the silence (with a few exceptions of course)) and that a relationship isnt about being right all the time and I’m a really sensitive person and i knew he meant the fact that i rarely text first or show so much affection and passion (I’m just really weird and I have no idea how to show people i love them through words) and i took that as the reason of the break up, he then told me that what broke could never be fixed and then he said other things and ended it with a goodbye. Anyways the reason i don’t show much affection is that I’m really shy and saying things like i love you isn’t really easy to me and as i said, I’m really sensitive so i don’t begin texts because even though he’s my boyfriend (extremely childish, i know) i still feel like what if I’m annoying him or he doesn’t want to talk to me at that instant. Please help me, we have been dating for over a year now and he always promised he wouldn’t leave me and idk if he broke up with me because he doesn’t want me or it was a moment of anger type of thing or to force me to change. Anyways i was wondering if the silence rule still works in my case? since i usually do that during our normal fights (for shorter periods of time of course) and i usually don’t show much affection and etc ( do i wait for him to talk first?) or do i do the opposite and show him that i do actually care for him as a change? (Since its a breakup this time) even though I genuinely care. Or is it desperate?
    And alsooo should i atleast apologize for the way i acted because i do feel kind of guilty, in addition to that, i didnt give much of a reaction after he said he wants to break up and i just continued to fire back with answers and i feel like he literally thinks i do not care about him even though i really do and since hes been waiting for me to do a first move since forever maybe he’d appreciate this one, keeping in mind that i will include in the msg that im just apologizing for being mean and that he doesnt have to reply to the msg or understand this as an interpretation that i want us to get back together. ( even though i do, but i thought maybe he would then be encouraged in the future to maybe say something)
    I know this is extremely long and im so sorryyy and i hope you reply.
    Thanks in advance.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Anon,

      sorry I just havent reached you yet..Anyways, maybe you got different love languages..it’s discussed in this arricle:
      EBR 023: How To Keep Your Boyfriend Intrigued

      but I do think you need to talk to him instead of doing nc.. it’s just that, you have to let him cool off..maybe 1-2 days.. if he becomes distant or ignores you, dont chase..because we dont know if he’s like that coz he’s still angry or he’s trying to get revenge..

  24. Anon - 0

    Anon

    Hiiii
    This is going to be really long but please help me.
    Okay umm so my bf broke up with me yesterday after a huge fight before yesterday. So we had this huge argument before yesterday, then he asked me something the next day and i may have infuriated him and he broke up with me. I was really shocked i just answered with an okay but in general I’m a person who doesn’t enjoy displaying my vulnerability to people so even if I’m hurt i don’t really express it much. Anyways after breaking up with me, he gave me advice telling me that in love theres no dignity and things like that (when we fight i usually wait for him to break the silence (with a few exceptions of course)), and I’m a really sensitive person and i knew he meant the fact that i rarely text first or show so much affection and passion (I’m just really weird and idk how to show people i love them through words) and i took that as the reason of the break up, he then told me that what broke could never be fixed and then he said other things and ended it with a goodbye. Anyways the reason i don’t show much affection is that I’m really shy and saying things like i love you isn’t really easy to me and as i said, I’m really sensitive so i don’t begin texts because even though he’s my boyfriend (extremely childish, i know) i still feel like what if I’m annoying him or he doesn’t want to talk to me. Please help me, we have been dating for over a year now and he always promised he wouldn’t leave me and idk if he broke up with me because he doesn’t want me or it was a moment of anger type of thing. Anyways i was wondering if the silence rule still works in my case? since i usually do that during our normal fights (for shorter periods of time of course) and i usually don’t show much affection and etc ( do i wait for him to talk first?) or do i do the opposite and show him that i do actually care for him as a change? (Since its a breakup this time) even though I genuinely care. Or is it desperate?

    Reply
    • Anon - 0

      Anon

      Oh and i never apologized for being non affectionate or whatever and when he broke up with me i was just cold and i kept firing back answers, i may have given the impression that i do not care if he’s breaking up with me and i do feel guilty because this was last conversation we had and i dont like to consider myself a cold hearted person
      Umm soo
      do you think i should apologize for being kinda mean and also include the fact that im not apologizing because i want us to get back together? Or is that just going to make everything worse?
      Sorry for these long essays

    • Chris Seiter - 4

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      Hi Anon,

      sorry I just havent reached you yet..Anyways, maybe you got different love languages..it’s discussed in this arricle:
      EBR 023: How To Keep Your Boyfriend Intrigued

      but I do think you need to talk to him instead of doing nc.. it’s just that, you have to let him cool off..maybe 1-2 days.. if he becomes distant or ignores you, dont chase..because we dont know if he’s like that coz he’s still angry or he’s trying to get revenge..

    • zoe - 0

      zoe

      my exact situation, I feel guilty sometimes that I could have done something about it, expressing my feeling I just don’t know how to, I lost him even though I genuinely care about him

  25. Lauren - 0

    Lauren

    My boyfriend of 9 months broke up with me. He said he doesn’t feel a deep connection with me that we can grow on. I always felt that we did have a deep connection. He told me countless times that I had his heart and we talked about living together, and the future (marriage and children) many times. He said i need to work on my self and be happy and confident because that is the woman he wants. But even if i did that, he feels the connection is gone. He is very firm and asked me to give him space and stop texting him. I knew in my heart that he was the one and he thought i was too. I have been having financial difficulties and two of my dogs died, and I did exhibit jealously of his interaction with other women (which he said it was ok to get jealous sometimes). I thought when you go through hard time, that is when you hold the person you love close and be there for them. I will pull myself out of my rut, but i am heartbroken he didn’t want to be there for me to do that. Instead, he said the connection was lost and he feels he has made the right choice to let me go. Is there even a chance that I can get him back? I know in my heart that we can have a happy life. I am happy and confident, I was just going through some hardships so maybe didn’t appear happy and confident anymore. Should i do the no contact rule? will that even help? is it even possible to make him love me again. I believe that the connection can be reconnected. we’ve had amazing moments of pure love together, I don’t want to lose him forever. Please help.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      hi lauren,

      becauee the change or your confidence has to be genuinely for yourself.. when a man sees you’re just doing it for him, it becomes unattractive.. we are attracted to people who are strong, beautiful and independent that we don’t own

  26. Lisa - 0

    Lisa

    Hello,

    My Ex broke up with me 34 days ago. At first he blocked my contacts and latter I went to see him. He said he could not lie to himself anymore, he was no longer in love with me. He would never answer my messages anymore but I can send it to him, he might read it. He said we would never be friends, let us be stranger. He seemed so relief and moved on. We don’t have lots in common and our habits are so different. I love him so much and I made a lot of mistakes and he lost trust in me. I would like to change myself totally and care about him more. Love him instead of asking what I need or complaint so much. But he said he could never answered anything, he is the man means what he said. I don’t know how can I implement the no contact rule.

    Reply
    • Chris Seiter - 0

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      hi lisa,

      that just means you will stop chasing him and start improving yourself for yourself and having your own life too…do 45 days.. whatever you start in it, you have to contnue even after nc

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