There is no way around it, when someone breaks up with you, it sucks. Sometimes the blow can be softened if you had a feeling a breakup was coming soon but if you were completely caught off guard then your ego definitely took a pretty big blow :/. Nevertheless, the world isn’t over and you can definitely salvage the situation. This page is going to focus on what steps you can take to get your ex boyfriend back if he broke up with you. Now, I want to give you a little notice here, I am not one of those people that is going to fill your head up with all sorts of lies saying that the methods talked about on this page are guaranteed to have him crawling back to you. All I will say is this, if you follow the advice on this page your chances of getting him back will increase dramatically.
Do You Have A Legitimate Reason?
If you want this to work then you better have a legitimate reason for wanting to get back together with your ex. I can tell you I have heard a lot of stories from women wanting to get back with their exes except when I ask them “Well, what is your biggest reason for wanting to get back together with your ex boyfriend?” they can’t come up with anything legitimate to tell me. Responses like:
- “I miss him”
- “He is the best I will ever date”
- “I don’t want to be alone”
are NOT good enough. Trust me, if you don’t have a truly legitimate reason for wanting to be back with your ex boyfriend then I can assure you that you won’t get the happy ending that you are searching for (and for the record when I talk about a happy ending I mean having a long lasting HEALTHY relationship.) Now, the things that I talk about throughout this website will work on someone, even if you don’t have a legit reason, but almost always couples that reunite without a good reason don’t have a very healthy or long relationship. I want you to have a healthy and long relationship so that is why I am preaching this so much.
By now I am hoping that you are screaming at your computer “CHRIS, WHAT IS A LEGITIMATE REASON?” Well, there are a lot of legit and non-legit reasons to want to get back with an ex. I wrote an entire page covering them here: Legitimate Reasons To Get Back With Your Ex Boyfriend.
Alright, enough of this nonsense, lets get to the good stuff what do ya say?
Common Reasons He May Have Broken Up With You
As I am sure you have already figured out, men are quite complicated when it comes to relationships. There is a whole list of reasons that he may have potentially given you for the break up. Right now I don’t want you to worry about that, that is my job. What I am going to do for you is take the most common reasons that men use for a break up and tell you what they really mean. Now, I do feel it is important to mention that even though some of these reasons may be hard to face, it doesn’t mean all hope is lost, in fact, I think you will be fired up and ready to get him back after I break these down for you. Let’s take a look at the most common reasons:
- The “it’s not you, it’s me” Excuse.
- You don’t appreciate me
- I don’t want to talk about it (Silence…..)
- You Cheated On Them
The “It’s Not You, It’s Me” Excuse
Ah, the oldest excuse in the book. There are two big things you need to realize about someone who gave you this reason. First off, most of the time they are lying to you about the real reason why they wanted to breakup. Secondly, they weren’t specific about anything that you did that caused the breakup essentially leaving you in limbo land to wonder what went wrong. Off the top of my head here are some of the REAL reasons why they wanted to breakup:
- They did not find you physically or emotionally attractive but cared enough about your feelings to not tell you to your face.
- Some men have short attention spans and can get bored really fast. It is entirely possible that he just got really bored with the relationship and wanted to move on.
- His emotional and sexual wants and desires weren’t met by you. Yup, some men are real jerks just because you won’t sleep with them.
I know it may seem hopeless now but I actually have good news for you if your ex gave you the “it’s not you, it’s me excuse” but first, there are a few things that you are going to have to do. Take out a sheet of paper and list all the real reasons that you can come up with that would make him break up with you. Here is the good news, the fact that your ex cared enough to lie to you, to spare your feelings, is not a negative thing, it’s actually a positive.
You Didn’t Appreciate Him
Unlike the reason above, this is a legitimate excuse for a guy to use. Here is the deal, if you were constantly nagging your ex or criticizing him there will eventually be a point where he can’t take it anymore. No one likes to be criticized every step of the way. In fact, nothing is a bigger turnoff to a man than a woman pointing out everything he is doing wrong. Men like to be admired and appreciated. Every time you nag or criticize him (to a great extent) you are hurting your mans confidence and lowering your value in his eyes. The good news in this case is that this is something you can fix since you control what you say. Take some time and really work on being less judgmental of him.
Lets Just Drop It (Silent Treatment)
I will say that out of all the reasons I listed on this page this one gave me the most trouble. The only thing I can think of, if your ex gives you this reason, is that he is really angry about something that he refuses to talk about it. I will admit, this reason is really tough to deal with because your ex boyfriend isn’t communicating with you at all. In any case, this one is going to require you to do some deeper digging internally.
You Cheated On Them
A very popular topic here on our site except usually people ask about it if they were the ones who were cheated on. In this case, we are flipping the coin and looking at how you can recover if YOU were the one who cheated on them. Cheating is kind of tricky, there is a lot to go into but I don’t think this is the page is the proper place to do so, I can tell you that usually women cheat for emotional reasons. Perhaps your relationship with your ex wasn’t good, was going downhill or he wasn’t giving you something that you needed. Whatever the case, think really hard about if you want to get back with a person that literally numbed you enough that you cheated on them. I have found that a lot of times women who cheated on their boyfriends and then wanted them back do so because they didn’t realize how good they had it with their ex boyfriend until they see how bad the relationship is with their new boyfriend.
If you are in that category, don’t worry, you can still get your ex boyfriend back. However, I want to ask you to consult the list of legitimate reasons before you go through with anything. If you consult the list and decide you still want your ex boyfriend back just realize that it is not going to be easy. You hurt this person and you are going to have to work extremely hard to gain back their trust. It’s possible, its just going to be really hard.
The Steps To Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
Getting your ex boyfriend back is a very complicated subject that few are willing to dive into, luckily, I am one of those few. Here is the deal though, I am not going to give you the exact steps to getting your ex back on this page. I already created a mega page that does just that. This baby is 10,000 words long, took me a month to finish and I am confident enough to say that it is the most comprehensive “get your ex boyfriend back” free guide that is currently in existence. Yup, I am that confident. Anyways, if you want the exact way to get a boyfriend back please visit the following page: How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back
Sarah
October 11, 2019 at 8:41 pm
My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago and he broke my heart. His reasons were he’s not happy and excited about our relationship, he feels bad for not being able to be there for me, he has a lot of things to deal with and can’t be in a relationship right now, and he doesn’t see us going long term. I was in shock when he was breaking up with me so there was no begging and pleading. A week later I sent him a bunch of texts basically saying he gave up and let a bunch of things control out relationship. I may have also tried to make him feel guilty. He never responded to the texts and I haven’t heard from him since we broke up. I’m now 3 weeks into no contact. I got a new job, started going to church again, and work out more. I miss him so much and want nothing more to have him in my life again. He’s active on dating apps which worries me. I just want to know if my relationship is worth saving and if he’ll ever contact me again. Thanks
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 12, 2019 at 7:58 am
Hi Sarah you’re doing the right things with your life now just stick with your NC and read some materials here that apply to your situation, also be open to dating casually too
eva
October 2, 2019 at 3:39 am
hey so my boyfriend and i were dating for a year an a half. it was literally a perfect relationship and i was completely happy with him. he was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first guy i talked to in that way, even my first actual crush. i was head over heels for him and so was he for me. he was the one that caught feelings for me and then i ended up falling in love with him too. in july (we were about a year and four months), he cheated on me. he was facetiming a girl (which i don’t have a problem with) and he got curious and asked to see her boobs. he jerked off to them and didn’t tell me anything for two months. in those two months he treated me like crap because he felt so guilty about doing it. i was a mess because it’s the one reason i would break up with him. i kept saying to myself “he’s sixteen it’s a mistake he won’t do it again” and i believed it. i forgave him and forgot about it the week later. we start school and everything was back to normal, all happy smiles. on the friday night, he wrote me a gorgeous love letter and the following wednesday, he told me that he doesn’t know if he’s in love with me anymore. it’s so hard to deal with because when it’s someone that you would die for, it burns. i forgave him for the cheating and he still left me. i thought he would go to the other girl but he still tells me he’s unhappy with everything. i haven’t even hung out with him for it to be me. i want to be his friend but it seems he doesn’t want to be mine. i got hurt a lot and saw a psychologist a few times too. should i be there for him and be his friend or just leave?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 2, 2019 at 5:47 pm
Hi Eva, with the situation you’re at and him not feeling happy. Your decision is based on if you want him to be your boyfriend again, or if you just want him as a friend. IF you want him as a friend then yes try to be supportive while he works on being happy. If you want him as a boyfriend distance yourself until he sorts himself out
Tracey
September 23, 2019 at 12:51 pm
Okay so my ex boyfriend who’s the father of my son left me when I was 6 months pregnant(2018 May) I was so devastated at the time,I couldn’t do anything rather than begging him I kept on asking him what wrong did I do or where did it go wrong.Only to find out that he was cheating and he always got mad when I confronted him about so I finally let him go.i gave birth to my son on my own in August last year.Then on September he started saying I should visit him if which I did because no one at home knew about the breakup only a few people knew.Around October he started giving me mixed emotions then I acted up then he got mad again telling me that he thought we were going to work things out “blah blah blah” I brushed him off.I cut off contact with him then we got back together in November then broke up again then December we were back together like everything was fine he tried to change.Then in March this year he started cheating again I caught him ref handed with a girl but he denied it saying that I’m seeing things it was not him.Then I kept quiet he started mistreating me acted like I don’t exist like he didn’t love me anymore I kept on asking whether we breaking up or not and he would say no but his actions said otherwise.I left.Around June he started acting up again and I was still mad that he mistreated and he never apologized even once!
He always moves on.Hes been changing girls ever since I haven’t moved on for like 6 months now. Something tells me to give up and move but the other part of me just don’t wanna let go.Please help what should I do,it’s been cold,long hard 6 months.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
September 23, 2019 at 5:55 pm
Hi Tracey, so I would suggest taking some serious time way from him 45 day NC is a must here first. And work on yourself. Get your self esteem back up. Know your worth. Read up on the Ungettable Girl and know it is possible to do even though we are mothers we are UGs’ 😉 Hes cheated multiple times and has treated you with no respect not even as the mother of his child. Take some time away from him. No sex, no relationship talk, no nothing. Let him think he has lost you. If he has access to your son then get it to be without you around.
Pooja Patnaik
September 9, 2019 at 8:20 pm
We two had in relationship since 2018 and we both loved each other and then he wanted to meet with me but due to some problems I can’t meet him and for months he try to convince me to meet and we had fight for this topic several times but he waited 6months to saw me and when I agree to meet with him he convince me to have physical in our first meet by telling we will marry in future and he waited for me so long time so by getting physically connected it can grow our relationship more so we had doing it in our first meet then we had meet for second time and had promised each other to meet soon but after that we hadn’t seen each other as we do in past.He always says he is busy with his family work and by his college placements and also told me that he needs to focus on his study so that he will get job soon and after settled in job he will marry me but months had passed he didn’t come to see me as we had long distance relationship and when he comes to that place (where we both studied in our college) he just meet his friends but didn’t came to see me and we had not seen each other for one year and he now broke up with me by telling there is no future for us as we have different caste but I wonder that this problem which we know since starting our relationship at that time he told me this will not create any issue in future so how can he broke up with me by giving such an excuse? I regularly message him cl him but he didn’t respond and if he responds to any of my messages it feels like he hates me but sometimes I feel like he still loves me as he says I love you (rarely now) and told me that he will not marry anyone except me.i am totally sucked confused about what happened to him and now I feel like he used me and I feel guilty for having physical relationship with him who left me now being selfish and I can’t control myself feeling suicidal…! Can’t even imagine he had cheated on me..! I try to convince him for at least one time face to face meet so that we can solve issues and get our love back.. can I really get him back because he gets job now he is busy with work and rarly respond to my text..if someone can help me pls suggest me that how can I get my love back
Carol
July 22, 2019 at 3:09 am
Hi, so last Sunday my boyfriend of basically a year and a half broke up with me. His reasoning was that he hasn’t been happy for about a month or two. He said he wants to focus on school and work and that I need to too. He plans to move two hours away for school in January but we had talked about it a lot and I know it could work even if we are both busy. We used to make plans for the future all the time and when he broke up with me he was saying how he knows it wouldn’t work if he moves. When we were talking, he said that he does love me more than anything and that on his way over he was crying talking to his parents – so I know it wasn’t easy for him. He also said that maybe in the future we would be together again so I feel like he might just want his space and time to do his own thing and hang out with his friends. I am currently giving him his space (as everything I have read has said to). But I am scared he is going to forget about me by the time my no contact period is up and won’t want to even talk to me if I try to. I’m also scared he doesn’t miss me at all. When we were talking I told him that he makes me happy though and that I miss him all the time when we aren’t together and he said that he can’t say the same thing for me but I know it just ties into how he said he wasn’t happy. I have been a wreck all week but I am trying to stay positive that maybe we could work on things again as I know what I need to work in within myself.
I know that he probably won’t want to get back together or anything anytime soon but I still want him in my life as he is still my best friend and I want to be able to tell him what’s going on in my life and I want to know what’s going on in his. Am I pathetic for holding on to the hope that maybe we can work on things after no contact or should I just go ahead and give up? I am willing to try as much as he will let me to have him in my life. I just want him to miss me and want to try.
Lavenshika
June 28, 2019 at 5:32 pm
Actually I want your help very badly as he left me just because of my mistakes even I knew this, actually let me tell you what happened, so yaa I had a kiss with my best friend just few months ago and I hided this from him, and approx 6 months ago I met my ex and had a kiss with him as well but this I told him and he said this is the first and the last mistake you did now don’t repeat this again but unfortunately I repeated even I’m accepting my mistake but now he not ready to listen and I just need him Bach anyhow I just love him so much
Kimi
June 14, 2019 at 10:56 pm
Hi doctor i need your help very Badly im 23 years old I was in long-distance relationship which last 6 years he was my first love, over those years we had some breaks but we start to talk again and we finished by coming back the 2 last years our relationship is developed we spend more time with each other but in February he says that he is not comfortable with me because im cold and to shy with him and he want us to have a break to thonk about this relationship but after 3 month he refused to give me an answer but i understand that he want to break up the last time he talk to me he said that he is confused about his feelings if he stills love me or not and he didn’t find the interes wich he want on me he talk to me in some way rudely and me too to be honest i stop talkin to him over a month now i bloked him in instagrame and Facebook but i started to following him with others profiles i don’t now why i want to come back with him but i miss him so much I have no body to talk with and im very depressed i cried all the night im feeling like something drying inside of me i really Need youre help
Ray
April 23, 2019 at 11:10 pm
I really need help. My boyfriend and I had been together for nearly a year and we lived together for most of our relationship at his fathers house. I’m 20 and he’s 18. we had our ups and downs but the majority of our relationship was filled with good times, love and laughter. The last month or so we had been fighting pretty frequently over small things that just turned bigger because we are both emotional people. Just a few days ago we got in a bad fight he was yelling and I was crying but again over something very small that just escalated with our reactions to it. He told me he wanted me to leave for a few days so he had time to cool off but he was unsure if we were breaking up. Then the next day he told me he wanted to break up in the morning and that night he started taking the relationship status off of Facebook, changed his cover photo etc. naturally I was hurt and I was weak and practically begged him to take me back and that I would change and we could be happy again but he said he was tired of fighting all the time and getting so angry. It’s been 5 days and I’ve still talked to him each day usually saying how I can change and how he shouldn’t just be able to throw everything away that we’ve built and gone through. He still says he loves me when I say it to him though so the love is there but I understand how having a constant battle every week could get to him. Even though we did have really great days in between up until the fight that broke us up. Today he said he thinks he wants to be single because he doesn’t feel happy with me anymore or motivated to keep up with a relationship because he wants to enjoy being young without having to worry about upsetting his other half. I of course begged and pleaded and told him not to throw it all out but he said he just can’t right now because he’s been asking for space and I haven’t given it to him so he just feels like he’s not happy and I always pushed him to be too angry and he said he wasn’t comfortable with that. We talked on the phone and I asked if he really never wanted me again and he said he doesn’t know but he still just wants to be single. I am heartbroken he was my best friend, and we had so much great times and planned our futures together . Please help me get him back.
Chris Seiter
April 25, 2019 at 12:34 am
Hi there Ray…looks like you would benefit from an ex recovery plan. Sometimes the best thing to do is to allow for some space and time to unfold, both with a larger strategy. Check out my Program materials!
Angie
January 24, 2019 at 11:40 pm
Hi Chris
Here’s the shortest version possible of my story. I met a man 9 months ago and we decided to give it a go. He had been single for 4 years and became a recluse from the social scene. We are both sailors so our circle is the yacht club. Alot of people hadn’t seen him in years! So I’m a social butterfly he’s a quiet stay at home guy. However, we did start going out and it was great! He treated me like a princess and was a gentlemen all the way, we laughed and laughed and it was awesome! After my last relationship i wanted to make sure i didn’t go down the same path of not communicating and he was the same. He wanted me to know that we could talk about everything and we did!
Then, a couple of months ago things shifted a bit, and it would be usually after a few drinks i’d come out with the are we ok? However, i’d also in the sober light of day say, Is there something i need to do to help you? I feel something has changed. He’d tell me i’m being silly and i overthink. And yes i know i’m an overthinker. Anyway, i recognised some of the things i was probably doing wrong. He was a hard man to crack but i made sure i was that happy happy person always who helped him on the boat when needed, would bring him lunch and beers at the end of the day.
After Christmas i noticed a message on his phone from someone unsavoury. I expressed that i trusted him entirely but i didn’t trust her (as she has a reputation). He said he was concerned i was worried about someone who lived kilometers away. I just expressed again i trust him, not her. Anyway, after dinner one night i asked him “i need you to help me something, i feel there’s something wrong, what can i do to help?” He came back with that he’s feeling alot of stress, wants to be alone etc… i said where i fitted in and was told i was smothering him. So i gave him a few days break of no contact. But i knew he was leaving for dubai for a few months. He left without seeing me and sent me a message from the airport saying he’s leaving. I was devo!!
I tried reaching out when he got overseas, however i could see that all the time he was online, she was online. I approached her one night via messager and she proceeded to tell me that they were sexting and i was an idiot.
Well as you can imagine it blew up all via text. He swears black and blue there was no intent and that he had been completely honest with me. And then said that he was going to wait until he got back from o/seas to see what was with us. But said because i didn’t trust him it’s over!!
I feel the chick baited me big time, she did send me some screen shots of the convo. Anyway we broke up.
We had texted since and it’s been calm still unanswered questions of closure but i have to take i guess what i got.
But yes, when you say legit reasons? I believed we were a good balance, funny how he taught me to trust again, we laugh, we shared the same view of the future and were willing to try and go on the same journey. I think he got scared being alone for so long and the mental issues he has. He won me over with his quirkiness, views on life and love, and our shared passion for sailing.
I do want him back. What should i do? At the moment it’s only been a week since we’ve made contact and i’ve also decided not to be on FB as that’s how everyone knows what i’m up to. Make him wonder what i’m doing?
Chris Seiter
January 25, 2019 at 1:37 am
Hi Angie!
Best to have a sensible ex recovery plan. That is what my site is all about and my Program. Lots of content, videos, eBooks, Podcasts can help show the way.
Kat
December 28, 2018 at 3:20 am
My ex and I met in highschool and became friends quite quickly as we had a similar sense of humor and liked much of the same things. I originally started texting him and from there we would talk all day and into the early morning for at least a couple weeks. We started hanging out together and eventually I told him I had feelings for him to which he replied he felt the same way. We started dating just a month before graduation and ended up coincidentally young to the same college. We had already applied before dating.
We continued to date up until the end of our second year. During the 2+ years we dated we have travelled together and discussed future plans to travel, move in together and get engaged. At our University we ran a couple clubs, one of which was the most active on campus and we were very proud but stepped down after a year and a half.
He was actually going to move in with me in just a couple months but at the end of November told me he had been feeling at times unhappy in the relationship at other times he was really happy. We talked about taking a break which was recommended by a friend of his. This friend later attacked me for worrying about my then boyfriend at the times mental health as he had mentioned feeling depressed etc.
We discussed the idea of a break and my ex concluded that he didn’t want that and that we should just get out more as during this time we had our finals. The next day things were great and we had reconciled. The next day he sent me a very long text saying he didn’t want to lose me and loved me but wasn’t sure how I felt about him or how he felt or how others felt about him. He was confused but wanted to desperately try and reset the relationship and start over. I agreed and told him how much I loved him and appreciated him and that he had nothing to worry about in terms of my affection for him.
After a few days of talking he cut communication with me, I didn’t handle this well and I am paying for it severely. I would try and get him to talk to me or pick at him to get something out of him. I feel awful for it and wish I hadn’t. We later discussed yet again a possible break and he was really unhappy and depressed and possibly suicidal in his thoughts. He had said he was afraid of the responsibility of of moving forward in the relationship. We were going to go to a party the next night but the day of the party he didn’t feel well and cancelled. That night we broke up. He said that he appreciated that I wanted to try and work things out as he had discussed a desire for just days before. He said that his sense may come back and we would once again be happy together and his life would feel worth living again.
He has since changed his major at our University and started hanging out with our mutual friends and has added a couple new girls to the group, one of which I know from our University. He told me she had a boyfriend, I don’t know if she actually did or still does but they’re hanging out and I’m worried he’s in a rebound or that he dumped me to be with her.
Up until the break up he would tell me how much he loved me and how lucky he was to have me.
A couple days after the break up he asked to see me and we met briefly before it turned out his friend, the one who rudely disregarded my worries, was meeting him in a few minutes. I left and called him later to state that I would rather talk one in one. He said despite acting happy he wasn’t and that he missed me and wanted us to start over. At least as friends. He also stated he no longer loved me romantically. This person is or was my best friend and I was his. We discussed everything together and had the same hopes and dreams and goals.
I have spoken to his mother since the break up who has told me he didn’t feel like he was true enough to me and was seriously depressed the day of the break up. She believes, as does the rest of his immediate and extended family, that he is making a mistake in letting me go and that he will come to regret it and realise what he has lost.
I don’t know how to feel or what to think but I’m heartbroken that he’s gone. He is someone that has helped me to better me and I have helped him to be better. We learned and grew a lot in the years together. I just want to know, am I crazy or stupid for holding out any hope or wanting to give the relationship another chance, of course this time working on where we failed before?
Chris Seiter
December 28, 2018 at 4:04 am
Hi Kat!
So I can see that a lot has happened – you have been thru a great deal. Sometimes have a break from each other can create some perspective and allow for some healing. Perhaps with time, he will come to appreciate your value to him. You ought to take a look at picking up my eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as its is extremely comprehensive and can help you with your ex recovery plan during this post breakup period.
Ann
March 9, 2018 at 5:59 am
My boyfriend for 1 1/2 years broke up with me yesterday. Were always fighting and seems like we didnt understand each others point. I nag, I beg, I keep on asking him to all the thoughts i have in mind. I called him last night he answered and he keeps replying to my message. He said he can tell to my face straight that its done its not working anymore because of our endless fight. His birthday is coming in a few days i planned my surprise and arranged my gifts as well. I dont know what will i do if i will give it to him if i will greet him or not. I really like to be with him especially on his birthday. Its hurting me so much.
Alexandra
March 8, 2018 at 7:26 pm
hi my boyfriend of 15 months broke up with me december 30th and blocked me on everything. We used to be engaged and just the day before we got into this arguement and he told me to leave him alone because he needed time to think if he wanted to be in a relationship with me and later that day i went to his job to buy something and he pulled me to the side ad said he didnt want to end things because he loves me to much and doesnt see himself with anyone but me and all he thought about was the happy memories we had. and then the next day he ends with me over something dumb. he went on and blocked me on everything and even changed his number. And on jan 17th i found out i was pregnant and i went to his job to let him know and he texted me a whole bunch of mean things and later on at night he called me and said he wants to work things out nut to start off as friends and build back our relationship. we were doing fine texted everyday and called everyday until one day he stopped and then we stopped talking and talked here and there. he then comes over to my house and talks with my family and says he wants to be here for me and loves and wants to work on us. and then we went back to texting again everyday even on his birthday. then on march 2 i found out i lost the baby and i told him but i never got an answer from him, we haven’t texted until march 4th when i posted a picture of a guy on my instagram and he saw it and told me never to talk to him again because hes done and he said to me “to think i was going to give you another chance” and i texted him and begged him and explained the picture. then yesterday someone texted him pretending to be and he came and texted me a picture of what they said and what he said he said “i dont see anything with you anymore i lost all my feelings for you because i want to post things on social media that im single and im acting childish, and how i stressed him out” then he told me we’re not even friends and to stop texting him and to leave him alone for good and i begged him not to and he just told me to leave him alone for ever and unfollowed me on everything again and said hes going to change his number again soon. please help me i dont know what to do i think i lost him for good and wont get him back ever again
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 11, 2018 at 12:09 pm
Hi Alexandra,
He sounds like a toxic person.. For me you should move on but if you don’t want to, try the nc rule.
Cat
March 4, 2018 at 12:13 pm
hi, my long distance boyfriend (he’s in USA, I’m in Ireland) of 7 months boyfriend broke up with me 3 days ago via text because I didn’t say goodnight to him, which he took as me cheating. I forgot to say it once before a week ago and he said its always a “reoccuring” thing, which it isnt, it happened twice. We try to Facetime every night and we talk throughout the day, but he says i dont say goodmorning to him, even though i’m continuing on the conversation from the night previously, I just don’t say the words “good morning”. After I sent him so many texts telling him i’m sorry for not calling, we Facetime’d and he said he said everything in the text and acted as if he really wanted to get off the phone with me. I texted him yesterday saying how i would really like to say “good morning” to him now, and he responded saying “i would’ve liked if you wanted to say good morning to me every day without me having to tell you”. that was the last contact. I am supposed to be going over to him in 3 weeks. Should i text him in a couple days to say that i am still coming over but i won’t bother him?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 8, 2018 at 4:06 pm
Hi Cat,
I’m sorry..what do you mean that you won’t bother him? You’re not going to talk to him? Because if you’re just going there to be ignored, don’t go.
Jen
February 13, 2018 at 5:38 pm
My boyfriend broke up with me 2 days ago. We had a fight the day before about him not showing enough effort in our relationship. He agreed and said he would try harder. The next day he was suppose to hang out with me and my friends for a picnic. He never showed up. I called about 5 times and had no response. I left an angry text message saying “ I’m tired of you doing this to me. Don’t even bother showing yourself to me this week. Bye.” After that, around 5 hours lates, he texted we need to talk. I called him and he said he wanted to break up with me. He said he didn’t love me romantically anymore but he still cared for me as a person. He also said that I was right that he wasn’t trying anymore. He than said he could come over and break up with me in person if that would make me feel better. I said no because than I would try to win him back. He said that’s not going to happen. He then said he would return my stuff later this week and we hung up. We’ve been together for 3 years. We haven’t been in contact since the breakup. I want to ask him to be together again when he returns my things but I don’t know if he wants to. I feel like he broke up with me because we fought. Please help. Can I win him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 18, 2018 at 10:53 am
Hi Jen,
You can try the nc rule but dont tell him and dont tell him again that you’re trying to win him back
Jaz
January 26, 2018 at 2:21 pm
Hi there,
My boyfriend dumped me exactly one week ago from today. Basically I’ve had real bad anxiety and depression my whole life but I had it under control when we met and got together. After sometime together my whole world fell apart, I lost my job, car, living situation and I went in a fast downward spiral. It began to affect our relationship, but he put up with so much. He moved me in, let me use his car took me to my new job everyday even tho it was out of his way, loved me etc. Now I won’t say I was a monster , Because our love was there and it was real, and our goodm moments were great. However, I had a lot of down moments. I began to get insecure, I thought I wasn’t enough for him, noting merrited the thoughts I had but I always accused him of talking to someone else or not wanting me, and when he would try to telle other wise I say he’s lying and shut down. This happens for a while, and for a couple of months I promised I was going to change…. I tried I really did but it’s a process, you know. It didn’t happen fast enough. Well last week, I was at my friend’s house and he was at a bar and just because he didn’t answer me I went off and called him a liar about talking to someone else. Then I got drunk and hid my relationship status on social media, and started posting things online that most would post after a break up . I woke up the next day and saw he hid his relationship status and my heart dropped. I called to try and fix it but he told me he wasn’t sure what he wanted because he’s tired of waiting on me to change when it’s clear I’m not going to. We hung up, not on a bad note he just said he wasn’t sure but he loved me and hung up. Well he didn’t text me all night and I got the idea to do a grand gesture and show up at his job when he got off to let him know I wanted to work it out. (I had to get dropped off since no car) when he saw me he was mad that I did t it unannounced because he had a long day and just wanted to go to bed. That response hurt my feelings and I pushed for him to talk and we started arguing and I don’t remember what but I called him a liar about something and he ended it right then and there. He said I make him feel like crap, and we only worry about my issues with no concern for his ( I tried but he doesn’t open up, while I wear my heart on my sleeve) I begged and we both cried but he didn’t change his mind.
Like I said it’s been a week and I haven’t heard from him, nor have I tried to contact him. I blocked him, but I told him it wasn’t going to be out of anger it was for my own sanity. It’s only been a week, but I’m trying so hard to win him back. I have a car, that’s not in running order yet but it’s an easy fix, got a job, stopped drinking, lost ten pounds already by not eating the first three days then clean eating and exercise, I made new social media accounts to show him that I’m starting from scratch, I’m not posting any more of that “man hater” or negative posts, and I didn’t add any guys who he’s mentioned “liking” my pictures too soon… So I’m trying to build my case to at least give me a chance of trying.
My question is should I contact him or wait for him to contact me? When should I unblock him (I blocked him on my new pages too, so I don’t check his stuff all day…even tho I still do lol)
I’m not sure if we should get back together all day but I want him to know that my intention is to try again in a few months or so, if he just needs time. I loved this man like like I’ve never felt and my fear of losing him was my demise. Now that I relized that I can lose him if I don’t change, and now that I’ve had time away and began to evaluate our situation and see my areas of necessary changes, I more than anything want to work it out. I’m already proving to myself I can, but I want him to give me the chance of proving it to him. I just don’t want to miss my chance. Should I give him more time, til i contact him – wait til I’m a bit more together? Should I wait for him? Or should I at least tell him my intentions and carry on our separate ways until the time is right again?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 30, 2018 at 12:29 pm
Hi Jaz
You dont have to add him back but you have to unblock him.. And if he doesn’t contact you after a week more, initiate contact..if he’s still set on breaking up, start the nc rule.
Richa Kumar
January 26, 2018 at 12:25 pm
Hi
So my boyfriend and I met 4 years back at our workplace. We started as being the best of friends. A year later he proposed but I softly refused as I never felt anything for him. He very gracefully accepted it and took a step. As he was obviously sad he decided to make new friends. Slowly the distance started increasing. It is probably this time when I realised that I love him and started missing his presence. A couple of months later we got together. But over the next year I was absolutely stupid. I became insecure of 2 of his female friends and till date I believe they were not good for him. Anyway after an year of argument over petty issues he broke up with last September. I could see he was not happy and I was devasted by his decision. After a 2 week break and after apologising to him we guys got back together. I promised him I would never repeat any of the mistakes and I would do anything to make us work. But once we got back together I realised he had become less patient to my issues. He was so so frustrated with all the previous arguments that he made an opinion about me. No matter how hard I tried to convience him he only saw the old insecure girl who likes arguments. To be honest I have really changed. Since September I have not argued with him. Not even once have I raised by voice. I even went to the extent to apologising to his friends (whom I still don’t like as I believe in vibes). I know I am insecure person but I am it stupid. 2 of his female friends are really weird. Anyway since September till 10 January i did everything I could to save this relationship. But in these 4 months he has broken up with me multiple times over silly issues. The only mistake I believe have made is trying to convince him repeatedly to be with me and sending some extremely terrible texts. He broke up with me for a final time on 10 January and blocked me. After 4 years I have realized that I need to give him some space and I cannot force someone to be with me. So this when I told me to stay way from him forever I have not tried a single time to get in touch with him. It’s been 16 days since our last contact. I miss him a lot but I also know I can’t force him. Do u believe the no contact will work? Because if it does not I am sure that I will not contact him.. it’s not my arrogance but it’s the fear of him talking back rudely. Meanwhile I am trying to be happy and I am… have given a few interviews to change the current job. Also please note that we both are not on social media and since we work in different projects we don’t get to see each other
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 29, 2018 at 11:53 am
Hi Richa,
it’s not guaranteed to work in any situation, but it helps increase your chances. Even if he’s not in social media, you have to be active in posting, you just have to make your posts public.
Swara
January 25, 2018 at 4:52 pm
I don’t know is it a strong relationship or not.. we were met in facebook he were proposed me…I was said him “yes”.. we used to talk about our marriage. . Our future together…and I hope he loved me truely.. but I really loved him from deep of my heart…and I never wanted him to let him go.. I never wanted to lose him… he always said he loves me.. and he do… but after suffering 6 months… he started ignoring me… without any reasons… even he never blocked me.. yea he blocked me on whatsapp… but he left a way to contact to him.. but on that contach he’s not replying me anymore.. he always ignoring me… I messaged him like a crazy gul.. and I really need him back tell me plz how to let him back.. i need him… we’ve not talking from 6 months.. I mean I tried to contact him so many times.. but he even not replying me.. but my all messages are always seen…
.
Please someone help me… even if it’s LDR I truely love him even if he not…
.
Plz somebody help me.. 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 25, 2018 at 9:48 pm
Hi Swara,
check this one:
The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship
tiruworq
January 23, 2018 at 1:15 pm
last time i wrote to you after i did no contact he didnt respond to me but now after no contact (from oct to Dec.)and 23 days later I got
a positive reply from him and i texted him again
like “happy
Christmas” but no respond and after a days again I
messaged to him and after three days later he call me and he said he was disappointed about a message that I texted him on Christmas day he said the
message was very short and he said why i didn’t
call him on that day rather than text and i said that you ignore my
calls that why am not calling you. his
birthday day is after 3 days and what can I do next
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 24, 2018 at 1:10 pm
Why did you broke up? And what did he say when you said that?
tiruworq
January 1, 2018 at 2:39 am
I broke with my boyfriend before six
months after long relationship means five years
he is 27 and am 28. we live in distant to work
and only met to holiday and to break.we had no
any sex history during those years I said to him
sex must be after marriage and he said ok
.before a year I said to him i don’t want him
anymore but not from my bottom but the reason
was we were in distant specially I was working in
harsh environment plus and community and i was
always want him in my side means I was always
waiting my boyfriend to visit me but he was
always busy this was the reason. and his friend
call me and ask why i became like this and i
understood my fault and I was calling to him but
he was ignoring me and one day he was picking
my calls and we were talk and regret each other
and i back to my family to searching job and
within two months we dated only two days but I
need more date with him but he was busy and I
was going to his work place and asking him why
ignoring my calls and he said that he need clear
cut I said why and we’re plan to date and to talk
about it but we didn’t met. As he said now he
was waiting my calls first but I was trying but he
ignoring me after that I always messaged to him
but no respond and again I was going to his work
place with gifts he was surprised and dated to
the next day and we did and I was asking why he
was ignoring my calls he said he don’t want me
any more he need freedom without stress and
expose him self new hobbies like smoking
cigarette ,drunk alcohol and chewing stimulate
plants and i did no contact to 30 days and i did
text to him no respond and what can I do next
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 2, 2018 at 6:30 pm
Hi Tiruworq,
When did you do nc?
Cherry Raymonds
October 3, 2017 at 12:26 am
I can’t cope with the pain of my break up. Can’t eat or sleep, I feel depressed. Can’t sleep without the sleeping pills. And to make things worse I think I’m getting addicted to them. How can I make myself feel better and sleep better?
EBR Team Member: Amor
October 3, 2017 at 9:44 pm
Hi Cherry,
It would be better to have professional help from a licensed counselor..