By Chris Seiter

Published on November 24th, 2023

Today we’re going to be talking about how to get a Gemini man back after a breakup.

If you haven’t read about the other astrology signs we’ve covered in this series I’d recommend checking that out.

Overall I think getting a Gemini man back boils down to four key steps,

  1. Understanding the major traits associated with Gemini men
  2. Tapping into the extroverted side of things
  3. Recognize that the dual nature has a lot in common with fearful avoidance
  4. You’ll need more adventure and mystery than stability with Gemini’s

Let’s just dive in.

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Understand The Traits Associated With Gemini Men

So, here are the traits most commonly synonymous with Gemini men,

  1. Communicative and Sociable: Gemini men are known for their excellent communication skills. They are articulate, witty, and enjoy engaging in conversations on various topics. Their sociability makes them popular in social gatherings.
  2. Intellectually Curious: They are naturally curious, often showing a keen interest in learning new things. This intellectual curiosity drives them to explore various subjects and ideas.
  3. Adaptable and Versatile: Gemini men are adaptable and can adjust to different situations with ease. This versatility allows them to handle various aspects of life and different types of people.
  4. Inconsistent and Indecisive: One of the challenges associated with Gemini men is their inconsistency. They may have fluctuating moods and opinions, making them seem unreliable at times. Their indecisiveness can also be a trait that might cause challenges in relationships.
  5. Fun-Loving and Humorous: They often have a great sense of humor and enjoy fun, light-hearted interactions. Their playful nature makes them entertaining companions.
  6. Restless and Easily Bored: Gemini men can be restless, constantly seeking change and new experiences. This can lead to a tendency to get bored easily, especially in routine or monotonous situations.
  7. Charming and Flirtatious: They are often charming and can be quite flirtatious. This charm makes them attractive to others, but it can also lead to misunderstandings in relationships.
  8. Dual Nature: Symbolized by the Twins, Gemini men are often said to have a dual nature, displaying different personalities at times. This can make them complex and intriguing.

For our purposes in getting a man back after a breakup I believe the traits that will be most helpful for this discussion are,

  • Communicative and Sociable
  • Inconsistent and Indecisive
  • Dual Nature
  • Restless and Easily Bored

Now I’d like to take each of these traits and show you how you should use them to your advantage.

Tap In To Their Extroverted Side

One of the big traits often associated with Gemini men is their sociability and strong communication skills.

They are known to be articulate and witty, enjoying engaging conversations on various topics. Their sociability makes them popular in social gatherings. What’s fascinating about the Gemini astrological sign is that many of their defining traits are extroverted in nature, which is the opposite of someone like a Virgo, who typically exhibits more introverted characteristics.

When you’re looking to get a Gemini man back and subscribe to the concept of astrological influence, you might operate under the assumption that he tends to be very extroverted.

What does this mean for you?

Well, it becomes particularly relevant during the meetup phase. If you’re not familiar with the meetup phase, it’s part of the ‘value ladder’ process I’ve discussed in previous entries of this series.

The value ladder involves using various methods of communication to build value, gradually advancing up the ladder until you reach the meetup phase.

  1. You start with the no contact rule
  2. Progress to the texting phase
  3. Then to phone calls
  4. Finally to in-person meetups.

Each stage is an opportunity to build more value. With Geminis, their communicative and sociable nature is especially important during the meetup phase, especially in terms of the types of dates you choose.

Since Geminis are extroverted, they typically enjoy dates that allow them to be the center of attention and express themselves. They are also adept at adapting to different social situations. Therefore, when planning meetups, consider social gatherings or activities that allow them to showcase their extroverted traits.

Here are a few examples of such dates:

  • Interactive Workshops or Classes: Attend a cooking class, a mixology workshop, or an art class. These activities are both social and engaging, offering a chance to learn something new together.
  • Trivia or Game Nights: Participate in a trivia night at a local bar or host a game night with friends. Geminis love to showcase their knowledge and enjoy the playful competition.
  • Outdoor Adventures: Plan an outdoor activity like hiking, cycling, or a city exploration scavenger hunt. The change of scenery and physical activity can be invigorating.
  • Attend a Live Event: Go to a concert, theater performance, or a stand-up comedy show. The energy of live events is something that many Geminis find exhilarating.
  • Visit an Amusement Park or Arcade: The variety of games and rides at an amusement park or an arcade can be a fun and lively way to spend the day.
  • Explore New Culinary Experiences: Try out a new restaurant or food festival. Geminis often enjoy diverse culinary experiences and the social atmosphere of dining out.
  • Social Gatherings: Attend a party or a social event where your Gemini date can mingle and meet new people. They typically thrive in these environments.
  • Cultural Excursions: Visit museums, art galleries, or historical sites. These outings cater to their intellectual side and offer plenty of topics for discussion.
  • Interactive Entertainment Venues: Go to a place like a karaoke bar, an escape room, or a comedy improv night. These settings provide a mix of entertainment, social interaction, and mental stimulation.
  • Spontaneous Road Trips: Plan a surprise day trip to a nearby town or attraction. The spontaneity and new experiences are something that Geminis usually love.

The Dual Nature And Fearful Avoidants

So, there are a couple of things to keep in mind here. A prominent trait of Gemini men is their inconsistency and indecisiveness. This can lead to fluctuating moods and opinions, making them seem unreliable at times. This indecisiveness can pose challenges in relationships.

Before starting this series, I must admit, I didn’t know much about astrological signs. I was aware of my own sign, Taurus, and my wife’s, Libra, but beyond that, my knowledge was limited. It has been enlightening to examine the astrological signs from a more scientific perspective, especially in relation to attachment styles.

When learning about Gemini men, their inconsistent and indecisive nature reminded me of the fearful avoidant attachment style.

For those unfamiliar, this style is characterized by two core wounds: a need for independence and a fear of abandonment. This can result in indecision and inconsistency. Additionally, the dual nature of the Gemini man, symbolized by the twins and often described as having different personalities, seems to mirror the fearful avoidant traits.

Fearful avoidant individuals often seem like they’re oscillating between two extremes, depending on which core wound is triggered.

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In dealing with a Gemini man, it might be effective to treat them as you would a fearful avoidant.

This means, when they pull back, you do the same.

However, when dealing with fearful avoidants, it’s important to recognize that their avoidance usually signals a need for space. Once they’ve had enough space, their anxious side often seeks reassurance.

Acknowledging their anxiety is crucial. If you ignore this side, it may deepen their avoidance, delaying the re-emergence of their anxious side and potentially creating resentment.

The best approach is to mirror their behavior: give space when their avoidance is triggered and provide support when they show anxiety. The key, however, is not to overdo it.

The goal isn’t to solve all your Gemini’s problems but to show understanding and empathy without trying to fix everything. Many make the mistake of overcompensating, attempting to be the knight in shining armor. However, this often isn’t in your best interest.

More Mystery Than Stability

An interesting pattern I’ve noticed while discussing astrological signs in this series is the relevance of my ‘Mystery and Stability Scale.’

It’s intriguing because I seldom talk about this scale anymore, yet it seems particularly applicable to many astrological signs, including Gemini.

So, what is the Stability and Mystery Scale?

It’s a concept I developed to illustrate that human beings have two competing needs in relationships: the need for stability and the need for mystery, adventure, and spontaneity. Both are essential, but each individual has a unique preference ratio. Some, like myself, prefer more stable relationships, valuing consistency over adventure. Others seek constant spontaneity and excitement. Geminis typically fall into this latter category. They desire stability, but they lean more towards mystery and adventure.

This preference is evident in their characteristics. Geminis are restless and easily bored, always seeking change and new experiences.

They find routine and monotony less appealing.

Thus, in a relationship with a Gemini man, you might consider a 60-40 split: 60% adventure and mystery, and 40% stability.

Reflecting on the history of your relationship with a Gemini, you might observe that it started with high levels of spontaneity and excitement, which gradually gave way to more stability. This shift can leave a Gemini feeling disconnected from the person they initially fell in love with.

Reinvigorating that sense of mystery can help remind them of the early, exhilarating days of the relationship.

Therefore, my advice is to embrace spontaneity, mystery, and adventure, especially if you rekindle a relationship with a Gemini. This approach can reignite the excitement and keep the connection vibrant and engaging.

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