Today we’re going to talk about how to get a Pisces man back. This, of course, is part of our 12 part series on astrology.
So, how do you get a Pisces man back?
Well, it boils down to six steps,
- Understand the traits associated with Pisces men
- Understand the the value ladder won’t need to be altered too much
- Take special care not to allow any kind of anxious desperation to seep through
- Understand that Pisces men will be able to see your intentions
- They’ll also likely be dismissive avoidants
- Don’t be afraid to turn up the romance
Let’s get right to it!
Understanding The Traits Associated With Pisces Men
As always, we start first with understanding the main traits associated with Pisces men. Then I’ll look at those traits and pick out which ones I think will be relevant to helping you get them back.
So, without further ado here are the traits associated with Pisces men,
- Emotional and Sensitive: Pisces men are known for their deep emotions and sensitivity. They are empathetic and can be quite affected by the emotions of those around them.
- Intuitive: They often have strong intuition and can be very perceptive about others’ feelings and motives.
- Creative and Artistic: Many Pisces men have a strong inclination towards creativity. They may be drawn to the arts, music, or any other form of creative expression.
- Romantic and Idealistic: Pisces men are often hopeless romantics. They believe in grand gestures of love and are often idealistic about relationships.
- Kind and Compassionate: They are typically very kind and compassionate, always willing to help others and put their needs first.
- Dreamy and Reflective: Pisces men can be introspective and often lost in their thoughts or daydreams. They are reflective and can sometimes be caught up in their inner world.
- Adaptable and Flexible: They are generally adaptable to different situations and people, often showing a go-with-the-flow attitude.
- Avoidant of Confrontation: Pisces men might avoid confrontations and can be seen as passive in conflicts. They prefer harmony and peace in their relationships.
- Mysterious and Elusive: There is often a mysterious or elusive quality to Pisces men, making them intriguing but sometimes hard to understand or pin down.
- Loyal and Devoted: Once committed, they can be very loyal and devoted partners, often going to great lengths to ensure the happiness of their loved ones.
Out of those ten traits I believe there are four that are particularly relevant to our discussion today,
- Emotional and Sensitive
- Avoidant of Confrontation
- Helpless Romantics
But before we dive into those traits let’s take a look at if we need to alter the value ladder too much.
The Value Ladder Won’t Need To Be Altered Too Much
Alright, let’s start first with the value ladder. For those of you following along in this series about astrology, you’ll notice that I structure each article traditionally by:
- First helping you understand the traits associated with the astrological sign.
- Then, I pick out specific traits that I believe are important for the discussion
- Finally, I examine the value ladder.
The value ladder is essentially our core game plan that we recommend to anyone attempting to get an ex back. The process is pretty simple. It involves understanding the methods of communication and building value within each method before moving on to the next one.
- You always start with the no-contact rule. This is how every single strategy should begin. The no-contact rule is often misconceived as a way to make your ex miss you, but we’ve found greater success by focusing individuals not on getting their ex back, but on moving on from their ex. That’s how you build value during the no-contact rule.
- Then, of course, you move on to the texting phase and build value and rapport there.
- Once enough value and rapport are established in the texting phase
- You progress to the phone call phase, rinse and repeat, building value there. After sufficient value has been built in the phone call phase, you advance to the meetup phase.
- The meetup phase is interesting because it comprises three stages: the small date phase, the medium date phase, and the romantic date phase. The idea is to continue building value in each of these phases. If you can advance all the way up to the romantic date, usually by that time, you’re at a stage where your ex is seriously considering getting back with you, or you have built enough value to ask to get back together.
This is the value ladder in a nutshell, but certain astrological signs, based on their traits, will alter the value ladder.
Fortunately, Pisces isn’t one of those signs. You’re just going to follow the traditional game plan with Pisces men. However, there are certain areas where I think you need to emphasize a bit more.
One thing that stands out to me, and I’ll be discussing this more when we delve into the actual traits, is that Pisces men are hopeless romantics. So, reaching that romantic date phase on the value ladder is crucial; go all out.
I’m not suggesting that you should skip the small and medium dates in favor of romantic dates. You still need to follow the value ladder as intended, but don’t be afraid to dive into the romance, especially if you know that your ex is a Pisces.
However, understanding the big picture isn’t going to help you with the small, day-to-day mindset that you need to maintain. And that’s really where understanding the traits comes in.
Do Not Let Your Anxiety Seep Through
Pisces are known as very emotional and sensitive creatures, renowned for their deep emotions and empathy. They can be quite affected by the emotions of those around them.
It’s this last point that I think is crucial to understand. If they are empathetic and can be influenced by the emotions of others, consider what happens if you’re incredibly anxious.
Statistically speaking, most clients in our program tend to have anxious attachment styles and are often desperate.
The natural assumption might be that a Pisces would appreciate this openness and sensitivity, but I’m here to tell you that’s not the case. They don’t like it.
So, revisiting that point: they’re empathetic and can be quite affected by the emotions of those around them.
Being “quite affected” can have two connotations.
- After a breakup, many might see this in a positive light, as in, “Oh, look, they care about me.”
- But I’m thinking of it more negatively. If you’re incredibly anxious and desperate, not giving them space, they may start to view you as an annoyance, and that affects them negatively.
This is particularly relevant given that one of the traits of Pisces is their avoidance of confrontation, which we’ll discuss later. If you’re overly emotional and anxious, they are likely to run away from the negative emotions they experience because of you.
A lot of what you probably need to do is work on developing a more secure attachment style.
How do you do that?
Well, it’s not an easy fix, and that’s hard for many people to grasp.
Developing a secure attachment is really about what you’re doing during the no-contact rule. Unfortunately, many people waste this time. They become too codependent, with their entire world revolving around getting their ex back. But if your sole purpose is getting someone back, you’re not living a purposeful life; it’s a kind of depressed existence.
It’s about finding a purpose greater than your ex. That’s part of developing a secure attachment. Also, having the confidence to understand that you don’t necessarily need them is part of developing a secure attachment. Assess the individuals around you. Are they helping you become more secure, or are they perpetuating your insecurities?
These are all elements you need to work on to appear more secure to your ex.
And that brings us to point number four.
Do Not Jump The Value Ladder
It’s crucial to be very careful about not jumping the value ladder.
Pisces men are incredibly intuitive, often possessing strong intuition and being very perceptive about other people’s feelings and motives. The value ladder is designed to help you not only get your ex back but to progress at a pace that feels natural to your ex, particularly to a Pisces man.
This immediately brings to mind the avoidant aspect of their personality.
We’ll delve into this shortly, but if it’s true that avoidance and Pisces often align, one thing I’ve learned is that avoidants typically don’t allow themselves to long for an ex until that person is unavailable or out of a relationship, and importantly, out of so much contact that their deactivation systems aren’t being triggered.
The reason I mention this is that avoidants are also perceptive. They’re always on the lookout, especially regarding exes, to discern the ulterior motive or subtext.
You’re familiar with the concept of subtext, right? It’s when you say one thing, but there’s a different underlying message. Avoidants, and perhaps even Pisces men, are adept at deciphering this. Therefore, it’s vital not to jump the value ladder.
If you have a Pisces ex, they’ll quickly understand if you’re trying to win them back, and that will raise their defenses.
Speaking of defenses, it’s important to note that, according to their traits, most Pisces men avoid confrontation.
They Avoid Confrontation
Pisces men will often appear passive in conflicts, preferring harmony and peace in their relationships.
This is characteristic of someone with a dismissive avoidant attachment style. A dismissive avoidant values independence and reacts defensively when that independence is threatened.
An attachment style we have a lot of experience with here at Ex Boyfriend Recovery,
Interestingly, despite other traits of Pisces suggesting they enjoy relationships and the emotions these bring, there’s another trait I haven’t discussed much: Pisces men tend to be mysterious or elusive, which supports the idea of an avoidant attachment style.
They have an elusive quality, making them intriguing but difficult to understand or pin down.
However, to be safe, it’s best to treat a Pisces man as if he has a dismissive avoidant attachment style.
The key rule with dismissive avoidants, especially in a relationship, is the simple mantra: when they pull back, you pull back. You need to demonstrate that you’re secure enough to give them space, even when they might be too afraid to ask for it.
This involves trusting your gut when you sense they’re withdrawing. Instead of reacting immediately, as an anxious person might, you should give them the space they desire. That’s the message they’re trying to convey, but are too afraid to articulate directly because they empathize with you and don’t want to hurt your feelings.
Turn Up The Romance
Pisces men are indeed hopeless romantics. They believe in grand gestures of love and are often idealistic about relationships.
The key takeaway here, as I mentioned earlier in this discussion, is the importance of ensuring that if you reach the romantic date stage of the value ladder, you actually engage in romantic dates.
Let’s delve deeper into what I mean by the romantic date stage.
If you examine the value ladder, you’ll notice that in the graphic, there’s a section called the meetup phase.
Within this meetup phase, there are three stages:
- Small dates
- Medium dates
- Romantic dates.
Small dates are casual meetups, like going for a walk or grabbing a coffee.
Medium dates slightly turn up the romance, while romantic dates significantly increase it.
Pisces men, I believe, will appreciate romantic dates. However, many people don’t understand what constitutes a romantic date.
So, I’ve compiled a list:
- A beach stroll at night, holding hands after dining out.
- Watching the sunset together, perhaps in a beautiful location like Hawaii.
- Attending a theater or comedy show, with both of you dressing up.
- Going on a private hot air balloon ride.
- Visiting a museum with a wine tasting.
- Horseback riding (though I’ve personally never taken a date horseback riding, so it’s not essential).
- Watching an opera together.
- Cooking a meal together.
- Having a private wine tasting.
- Taking a private dance class.
- Visiting a planetarium.
- Going to an intimate jazz club.
These activities all have romantic connotations and resonate with the Pisces mindset. However, this approach is effective only if you haven’t rushed the value ladder.
You need to have progressed slowly and built up enough value that they genuinely enjoy these romantic dates, rather than feeling overwhelmed by them.