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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
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Girl
February 10, 2017 at 3:09 pm
Hi, my boyfriend just broke up with me last night. I’m heart broken. We were together just over a year, and we had such a good year together, but he said he didn’t want a serious relationship which doesn’t make a lot of sense to me since he was with me for a year.
I have a lot of anxiety, and I over think and I flip out really easy, he said he this felt like a married couple and he didn’t want it and that we are only young. Also that he is a going out person and does not like staying in, which I asked him to do.
I really want him back, I love him so much and I’m sorry that I flipped out so often.
I don’t know what to do, any advice I’d greatly appreciate it.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 10, 2017 at 9:23 pm
Hi Girl,
do you want to try the no contact rule and the advice above?
Tash
February 9, 2017 at 12:32 pm
Hey amor! I got another two weeks to go until I can contact him, not long now. I’ve lost 12lbs in weight and so happy. Anyway I read your comment but I honestly do not know how to initiate contact with him, like I don’t want him to think I’m chasing me by saying something reminded of him, might scare him wouldn’t it? I just don’t know what to say, I know he’s into restaurants and cars. Help?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 9, 2017 at 7:35 pm
Congratulations! Hmm.. I think you need to check this one: EBR 053: Deconstructing The Perfect First Contact Text Message
don’t be shy if you have further questions 🙂
Caitlin
February 8, 2017 at 4:44 pm
My boyfriend broke up with me about 4 days ago now and so far I haven’t contacted him at all, I haven’t heard from him either. Although I know it’s only been 4 days.
The reason we broke up was because of my anxiety really. I can overreact and freak out about things quite easily. And understandably he found this stressful.
We were together just over 4 months and we really did have a special connection, we were very close and he was the one to talk about being together for good.
I told him I’d change and that I can get rid of the anxiety but he didn’t believe I could get rid of it quick enough (he thought it’d take years for me to change) whereas I know it won’t take that long, my anxiety is already greatly improving and it’s only been a couple of weeks since I’ve started trying to change.
He told me he’d fallen out of love with me, but still loved many things about me..
What really confuses me is that he was very affectionate when he broke up with me, overly so even, for example still kissing me on the lips even when he left my house. (which makes me wonder if he does still love me)
I really hope there’s a chance I could get him back. He really means a lot to me. Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank you.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2017 at 6:03 pm
Hi Caitlin,
do at least 30 days and just be active. Just do the change.. Post actively in social media because that’s your indirect way of saying that you’re living life, you have a life and you’re not chasing him..
Tash
February 8, 2017 at 11:57 am
Hi amor thanks for getting back to me. Obviously before I decided I wanted to go into nc, he’s the one that said we can only be friends, and that’s all he can offer me. So after the 45days are up, how am I meant to initiate contact? I read your link however I don’t know how that could relate to mine because by texting him the way the article says, I think that will put him off? Please help.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 8, 2017 at 5:21 pm
Hi Tash,
You’re welcome!
that’s ok if he wants to be friends. Take it as a restart. Everyone starts out as friends and then develops later on. So, it’s actually better if he thinks you’ve moved on and just being friendly. Use topics that he always loves talking about, if you say he came across your mind because of something, add in that he came across your thought after a while because of that..
Like, Oh my god. I saw the cat that we thought has been pregnant for the longest time, she’s now given birth! I remembered you, and it’s been a while! Have you passed by them too?
something like that..
Tash
February 7, 2017 at 2:01 pm
Hi Amor,
My 30 days are up now and I got 15 days left of no contact. I put another pic up on whatsapp, and then he unblocked me and has left me unblocked now. What could this mean? Does he want me to reach out to him or not? Could he be playing games? Not sure maybe he will want nothing to do with me.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2017 at 10:31 pm
Hi Tash,
can be but it can also be because he can now see you’re not going to chase anymore because you’re starting to move on, or he wants to see more of your posts
Anonymous
February 6, 2017 at 7:48 pm
Hi, my ex broke up with me last week and I’m really going to struggle with the nc aspect. We have been friends for 5 years before we were together, and we were together nearly 2 years. Some of the points outlined above with the messaging thing, I think I would also struggle with as has blocked me on Facebook messenger.
He claims that he is no longer in love with me and is already way over. To see him say that is like a knife to my heart. I’m on anti-depressants as it is, because one of the factors that may have made him fall out of love with me was my anxiety/depression. I have tried to point out to him that the anti-depressants are working and I want to be able to make him happy and for a final chance, but he says he’s never going to say yes.
Naturally I can’t stop crying or thinking about him. Everything reminds me of him, including furniture in my bedroom which he helped me build. I can’t watch Netflix because it would be programmes on there we would watch together. I struggle to eat/sleep also because I can’t stop thinking of him, and being petrified that he has actually moved on and is over me. I’m really struggling and I don’t know what to do. Please help!
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2017 at 5:13 pm
Hi Anonymous,
everything is hard at first..be active in improving yourself..Aim to be the ungettable girl. Click this:
The Ungettable Girl
Tash
February 4, 2017 at 5:58 pm
Hi amor.
At the moment, I’ve put all my energy into work, literally work 6 days a week. I would like to do something else, I’m looking to buy a new car soon too. The reason I feel anxiety is because I don’t know what’s going inside his head, thought we were friends but then never replied and I haven’t initiated anything hence why the nc. Really afraid of rejection too.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 5, 2017 at 6:17 pm
Hi Tash,
For me, it’s better to be rejected than to feel regret..
I think you need to check this too:
Here’s How To Deal With Anxiety In Your Breakup
Tash
February 4, 2017 at 8:09 am
Hi amor,
I’m on day 25, I’ve lost 8lbs in weight, trying to improve myself but I feel a lot of anxiety. I thought him and I were friends before but the conversation ended when he didn’t reply to my text, so thought I’d go into nc. Amor, I don’t know what else I can do to build up an attraction, I only put a pic on whatsapp, I don’t really have any social networking sites. I don’t even know what to say to him when my 45 days of nc is finished. I know you inserted the link to build a rapport via text however with my situation, I don’t think it would work. Please help? I’m so down right now
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 4, 2017 at 1:47 pm
I think you need to go to counseling.. Congrafulation on losing 8 lbs,! How many new things have you done? did you enroll in some short course or volunteered? You have to open up social media accounts, that helps because he has something to see if he gets curious during nc or while building rapport
Abbys
February 2, 2017 at 8:24 pm
Hello 🙂
Me and my bf dated for about 7 months, we broke up and about 6 months later we started to talk again and it was going really well until we slept with eachother too soon and things ended again. Now about 6 months later again i tried to message him again according to your guide and the response was pretty good. He didn’t reply to my last text which means he ended the conversation. So how do i go from here? Do i wait for him to text me? Or should i text again? and if i text again.. what do i say?
Abbys
February 7, 2017 at 3:04 am
I feel like i’ve definitely improved, that’s not really the issue. I am a lot happier than i was before.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 7, 2017 at 7:56 pm
that’s very good, then yes, initiate again..
Abbys
February 3, 2017 at 3:44 pm
Hi Amor,
In the last 6 months we hardly spoke except for him apologising for the way he may have disregarded my feelings before. I accepted the apology and that was the last time we spoke until i waited another 1 month to contact him now. So i should start another convo?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 3, 2017 at 7:30 pm
hmmm..the thing is, the most important aspect of no contact is the improvement, the change, becoming the ungettable girl anf being active in posting because the improvement is what helps spark interest in him..
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 2, 2017 at 9:45 pm
Hi Abbys,
how much did you improve in the last 6 months..it’s ok to initiate..use topics that he likes talking about
Tash
February 2, 2017 at 12:06 pm
Hey amor,
After knowing my situation, you said I should try atleast 45 days of no contact? Is that what you recommend for me. I’m so weak today, emotionally down. He hasn’t even bothered to contact me, it’s been 6 months we’ve been broken up, so I actually feel that this nc thing won’t work. He’s most probably over me. And when I do contact him after the no contact period, he will most likely not even reply to me. He’s most probably moved on. Please advice me
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 2, 2017 at 8:38 pm
Hi Tash,
if you’re not ready to move on then all the more that you should do nc..you’re so emotional, you cant think straight.. you have to accept that he has moved on. So, the goal is to reattract him.. How would he be attracted if he thinks you’re chasing him right? The nc is for you to heal and improve, have your own life, regain balance, grow, and become the ungettable girl
Jennifer
February 2, 2017 at 8:25 am
Hi, I was dating a guy online (LDR) for the past 3 months. We got along really well. I work in his hometown. He was about to meet me on his vacation to his hometown. He was very eager on marriage as well. When we were about to meet, I had asked him to inform his parents about us. Now he said he is not interested anymore. I have a gut feeling that his parents have not approved of this LDR. So he is backing out. What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 2, 2017 at 8:06 pm
Hi Jennifer
backing out in meeting or in everything?
Anon
February 2, 2017 at 7:14 am
Hi,
Is there even hope for me if we had broken up a long time ago due to me cheating but got back together shortly? Never thought it could be entirely forgotten even though forgiven and the trust was rebuilt and we had so many good years together since. Not sure if this could be a factor why we broke up so many years later it happened (amongst other reasons given for the break up). Is it even worth a try or should I just focus on moving on?
If I do start NC and he contacts and wants to see his kid, can I reply? What if he wants to come get the rest of his stuff? Can I reply? Or should I say to wait until I am ready?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 2, 2017 at 7:18 pm
Hi Anon
try nc first..you can talk about your child and exchanging stuff during nc as long as it’s only about that..check this:
Get Your Boyfriend Back If You Have A Child Together
Tash
February 1, 2017 at 11:36 am
Hi amor when he blocked me on whatsapp, this doesn’t allow me to see anything of his. However he can still see my picture. Should I take that as a good sign? At the moment I’m taking that as a bad sign. 22 days of nc and nothing from him yet.
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 1, 2017 at 3:25 pm
Hi Tash,
yes, because actually you shouldn’t check on him during nc too..
Tash
January 30, 2017 at 7:14 pm
Hi amor. He’s blocked me again on whatsapp but I haven’t spoke to him or nothing. I know he has because one of my friends told me he’s pic is up. But when he unblocked me, there was no pic of himself and neither is now according to my friend, it was a nature pic but I can’t see anything now as I’m blocked. Just don’t know. What is he playing at? Does he really hate me? I never done anything.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 31, 2017 at 2:48 pm
most of the times that’s because the guy can’t handle looking at your posts yet..so take that as a good sign
Tash
January 30, 2017 at 2:15 pm
Hey amor I’m so sorry for messaging you constantly. After uploading a photo of myself on whatsapp, he unblocked me and uploaded a photo. I don’t know why. But still no contact. What’s going on with him?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 30, 2017 at 3:28 pm
Hi Tash,
that’s ok..you can ask anytime..maybe he’s trying to match your actions
Tash
January 29, 2017 at 3:10 pm
Hey amor! Thanks for the message. I’m going to check it out. The thing is: he was so horrible to me, he said a lot of mean things to be when we broke up. Do you think he will have some sort of regret? And has the 45 day no contact rule worked successfully for others? Especially if he doesn’t want anything to do with me
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 30, 2017 at 12:07 pm
Hi Tash,
yes, there are success stories.. maybe eh just said out of emotion or annoyance..but if he’s always like that then that’s different
Tash
January 29, 2017 at 9:07 am
Hi Amor. Apologies for bothering you. I’m on 19th day of no contact so far and my ex hasn’t even bothered to text or call yet. 26 days left to go. I really fear that after the 45 days of nc he will most probably have gotten over me and he may not respond at all back to my message? What do I do then? I’m having a down day. Obviously when we broke up, I never got closure properly but I do remember him saying we have no future together and because of our culture, he wants me to go and marry someone else, have an arranged marriage. Honestly makes me really sad, obviously his reasons for being nasty to me is that he’s being cruel to be kind. I just feel that I have no chance and no hope even though agreed being friends, before no contact he didn’t even respond back to my friendly message.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 29, 2017 at 1:46 pm
Hi Tash,
Its ok..you can ask anytime! Accept that he has moved on already.. So, your goal is to attract him back.
Check the link below:
Your Worst Nightmares During The No Contact Rule
Sarah
January 28, 2017 at 8:00 am
Hi,
I am on day 6 of no contact. I have been through highs and lows and am trying my best to distract myself and focus on being the best version of me. However, it has been hard and I suddenly really miss him and our routine together. It doesnt help that he told me that he is dating a girl, yet told me that he bought me a gift, something that I really like a lot. that was before I started no contact. How do I deal with this sudden feeling of sadness?
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 28, 2017 at 3:16 pm
Hi Sarah,
acknowledge the feeling and then remind yourself why you’re doing this… check this too:
How To NOT Break The No Contact Rule With Glenn Livingston
Tash
January 27, 2017 at 8:55 am
Hi Amor,
I’m on day 17 of nc now. I forgot to mention that in the first weeks of December he said that we could be friends, however now he has frozen up on me. My situation is so complicated? I was reading the link you gave me but I feel that if I contact him first then he will think I still have feelings for him…I don’t know. I’m very confused. I don’t know why he has gone all cold on me and never replied back to that message before no contact when all we were just ‘friends.’ I got another 28 days to go of nc
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 27, 2017 at 12:20 pm
that’s why it’s very important that you improve yourself because that way when he see you’re active and improving, he will more likely think you’re moving on..
Sarah
January 26, 2017 at 2:51 pm
My bf broke up with me few weeks ago… as he told me he was quite stressful in maintaining a LDR and he couldnt see the end date as well as our future… (He lives in Europe and I live in Asia)
I really love him and think it is not a matter because I could wait for him and I believe one day we could stay together permanently…
I have read all your advice on this page.. I am not sure if this works on my case since it would be difficult for me to meet up with him in a short time… maybe earliest in Aug/ Sep… I do not know what to do…
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 27, 2017 at 9:04 am
Hi Sarah,
check this one:
The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship