The Simple 2 Step Method To Get Your "Baby Daddy" Back

383 thoughts on “Here’s How To Get Your “Baby Daddy” Back”

Brianna Porter

January 22, 2020 at 6:55 am

My boyfriend and I have been on and off for two years . We’ve had cheating lying and all that in the past. After I found out I was pregnant he stuck by me and we was together ever since then. He told his mom he was going to propose to me and everything but his mom said to wait cause we wasn’t financially stable . We was living with my mom this whole time . Here recently we moved into our own apartment things were looking up until I found out he was sending things back and forth to these girls . So I was hurt and we argued back and forth for a couple days and then he ended up leaving with his friend . Told me he’d be here for the baby but didn’t love me anymore and didn’t wanna be with me . He ignores all my text or tells me to leave him alone he doesn’t wanna be with me . I gave him a house , food, paid all the bills , bought him random stuff , gave him money just to make him happy. Idk where I went wrong. I want my family back .
Ashely

January 20, 2020 at 8:56 pm

My ex BD and I broke up in July 20, 2019. Since then he has been talking and hanging out with girls. We gave it another shot in November kind of but it felt like I was putting in all the effort. I felt like he hasn’t forgiven me for how I made him feel and stuff during the duration of the 2/5 years our daughter was born. And now he is talking to this 18 year old girl. And he states he has feelings for me but isn’t in love with me but his feelings aren’t strong… I want him back and I want to be a family . He does not see me as the same girl as before.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 22, 2020 at 2:14 pm

Hey Ashley, it is so hard to be apart from someone you share kids with, it takes strength to deal with the situation reading this article may help you get through the initial limited no contact, but make sure you also look up an article about the ungettable girl and work on yourself during the next few weeks to show him you are better than you were before, you’re not a girl you’re a woman and at that a woman who has given him a child, a home and a family! https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-get-your-ex-back-when-you-have-a-child-with-them/

Tania

January 17, 2020 at 4:08 am

Hello,
Me and my boyfriend have been together for 9 years, we have a 4 year old daughter. We don’t live together right now . He lives with his family and I live with mine, but I have our daughter most of the time.
We had made plans for last Wednesday & I got ready and when I tried messaging him if he forgot about our plans .. he replied with a one word not even saying what happen. I sent him like 5 messages and he never replied until the next day and apologizes for forget our plans … he was going to bring our daughter to my house cause she had spent the night the night before when he came to my house I asked him where was he the whole day.. he didn’t want to tell me and he said he was with his friends. (This isn’t the first time he’s done that) I got upset because he knew we had plans and he had our daughter and he wasn’t even with our daughter his mom had her while he was with his friend, we are both 24
The next day he tried to act like nothing happen and I told him I was still upset and wanted him to show he was sorry not just say it since it happen more than ones. He ignored my messages and didn’t talk to me for 2 days.. I messaged him on Monday and told him I shouldn’t have been the one messaging him since he was the one that ditched our plans and he went on to say “it’s so hard to communicate with me” when all I said to him was that I was upset over something he did. I sent him like 10 messages . I know some messages I shouldn’t have said things like how I have always been there for him and don’t understand why he would ignore me when I was the one that was upset over something he did..: and pretty much telling him I was done with him . Which I didn’t mean because I was just mad that he didn’t put the effort and he never replied back. Until, Wednesday I messaged and I told him if we could just stop the silent treatment and if he wanted to see our daughter.. he said he was working but if his mom could pick her up.. it made me upset because I want him to be the one to make the effort to come see our daughter instead of his mom so I told him to tell me know a day he was available.. and when would be able to talk about what happen ? He didn’t reply so I sent him another message telling him to tell let me know so we could meet at the park.. with that he sent me a messaging saying that I was trying to keep our daughter from him when he has been the one that has contacted me at all about her.. I told him that wasn’t it and of course I sent him about 5 messages , which I wish I wouldn’t have. And ended it with me telling him i wasn’t going to message him anymore and he knew where I lived if he wanted to see our daughter and to contact me via email… I honestly don’t even know what to do?? I didn’t do anything other than what him to show he was sorry for choosing his friends over our plans and even our daughter & it made things worse now and he’s just ignore me

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 21, 2020 at 10:30 pm

Hey Tania, so this article should help you https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-get-your-ex-back-when-you-have-a-child-with-them/

This is how to deal with a situation, and how to complete a successful Limtied No Contact, then you can start a texting phase giving that you work on yourself in that time. If he continues to choose his social life over time with your daughter, then consider just leaving him in a total NO contact as you also need to show him, that your child is not a pawn to be picked up and dropped when he feels its convenient to him

Daniela

January 15, 2020 at 6:35 pm

My baby daddy left me 5 days after the baby was born and said he needed time for himself and during that time he found someone else that he had met at a bar while I was 4 months pregnant and when he got with someone else he started to tell me he never wanted to get engaged he started to tell me things that completely broke me I didn’t know how to process all that even being a new mom I fell into depression he didn’t see The baby for a while till he finally made me go to the courts and got custody of my son, right now he’s still with this new girl, he disclosed that the whole time he didn’t really love me anymore that he only wanted to be a dad but he didn’t wanna be with me that he only stayed so long because he felt bad for me even tho we planned the baby first the moment I got off

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 18, 2020 at 4:03 am

Sounds like you have had a lucky escape Daniela, you can still co parent healthily and if you want him back you have the information here to help you and starts with a limited no contact

Amber Myers

January 13, 2020 at 12:21 am

I have been with my childs father for 3 years now . We have a 1 year old together. I love him so much but all we do is argue at times especially when we drink together. He don’t know how to communicate he ignores me when I try to express my feelings or if somethings bothering me. He says messed up things when we argue , saying he will go sleep with someone else an he should chose the other girl instead of me an he is rethinking giving me a ring. Then says he don’t mean it but says the worst things. He has put his hands on me before as well as I have out of anger. We moved past that an it don’t happen no more. I live by his family where I know nobody I work at home an I feel I’m losing my mind. I feel he is unsure of this relationship or don’t know what he wants. I attend to call off when we argue which I know I shouldn’t but the thought of losing my family drives me insane an I feel lost confused . I have no support my family is discombobulated. Everyone lives out of state. I feel broken an tore down . I feel he belittled me an causes me to become insecure. I’m lost confused . What should I do? Should I leave to heal myself cause I’m trying but it’s hard . Also are sex is kinda boring anymore but I still want to be with him. Maybe I’m too comfortable an forgot who I am. Idk could u give me some advice

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 18, 2020 at 3:52 am

Hey Amber, so if you want to be with him then you need to have a sit down and have a calm conversation with him without arguing and work through your issues and as you stated it happens when you drink, I suggest you stop drinking before things escalate to a break up. Having open conversations with him about how you can make each other happy again is whats best, unless you want to end the relationship to which I suggest you think about it seriously for a short while before doing it as you don’t want to regret the decision and have to work to get him back. Taking time for yourself is always advised that does not mean a break up it just means you do things that make you feel happier, less stressed and love yourself again

Ellie

January 7, 2020 at 2:45 am

My baby daddy and I were living together for 2 years since our daughter was born March 1st,2018. We had a huge argument and he moved back to his moms house. This happened December 22,2019 it’s now January 6,2019 and we spoke and hung out. But he said he is not moving back in with us. He wants to still be together but live separate at least until he finds a job and gets his stuff together. Now I don’t know what to do because it is unfair. I’m basically a single mother, something doesn’t feel right. At this point I want to end this relationship with him for good but at the same time I don’t because I love him so much. I just want him to move back in to be a family. But I can’t force him, the only option I see now is to end it. He walked away from us so why can’t I walk away from him. It’s so hard 🙁

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 7, 2020 at 10:54 pm

Hi Elle, I suggest you approach your boyfriend with a calm conversation about how you do not want to live apart, you need to explain that you want stability for your child and you do not want to confuse her when she is still so young, allow him 30 days to “sort himself” work wise, it shouldn’t be that hard to find any work giving that he is not going for a occupation within a tough field. IF he is not willing to meet you in the middle and set an agreed time when you want to be living together again and you still want to end things then that is of course your call

Devyn

December 31, 2019 at 2:05 pm

I am going through a family crisis and am in desperate need of help. I just recently had a baby June 30th, 2019. My fiancée and I are having horrible communication issues. His mother just recently (in September/October) had a psychotic break or has rapid onset dementia… when my fiancée went to go check on her in Arkansas, he had dinner and hung out with a woman in his hotel behind my back.. I found out by going through his text messages.. there was inappropriate comments and flirtation.. this caused huge trust issues which made us fight a lot.. well, I tried my hardest to suppress my emotions to be there for him.. but it was difficult every time he went back to Arkansas.. then he finally snapped and doesn’t know if he wants this anymore. He said he’s built resentment towards me over the years and feels he made decisions based on my emotions than his.. so now we are stuck in this awful stage of nothingness.. I’m so lost. I’m hurt. I feel guilty. I don’t know what to do. My son is only 6 months old. I’m just… really needing someone to talk to and help to give me strength.. because he has emotionally and mentally checked out. Said he can’t give me what I need right now. He said he needs space and time. He packed a bag and left. He’s not wanting to be home because it’s too hard cause all he thinks about are the kids. He also has a daughter with his ex wife that we have part time. We live together in a house. When I tried to sit down with him to figure everything out he came home drunk and just fought with me. Called me a bitch, said he hates me, and that I’ve treated him like crap the whole time we were together. That I leaned on him too much. I called him a coward and told him to be a man. Lots of harsh words were said back and forth. Then he said he was done and I told him to move out. now he’s staying at whatever hotel but still paid me rent and for the nanny. Reached out saying he will help with our son whenever I need. And that he will contact me to make plans for him to see our son. Said he was sorry for everything and wants to continue to be away.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 4, 2020 at 10:52 pm

Hi Devyn, I’m so sorry this is difficult situation to deal with especially when you have a young baby. So you need to do something called limited no contact with your ex and focus on you and baby adjusting to this lifestyle that you have right now.

He is more than likely dealing with this situation with his mother internally and taking it out on you, where you need him, his family need him, and he probably does not know how to deal with it. It does NOT excuse his behavior with you or the other woman. But keep reminding yourself this is not your fault, this is the way he has dealt with a difficult situation.

Read up about the Ungettable girl and apply that to your life and focus on how to have the best version of yourself for the child and when the time is right you will find that when things are good and calmer your ex may want to speak to you about the situation when he is in better control of his emotions

Mary

December 28, 2019 at 7:47 pm

I met this guy last year and we hung out and slept together a couple of times and that next month I found out i was pregnant. He was only in my state for work, and then he was moving back to his home state.. so i decided to not attempt a relationship with him and only speak about the baby. Well, our baby girl was born 5 months ago and ever since I had her I felt this pull toward him and wanting to be a family… so we started dating long distance since he is back in his home state now.. (5 and a half hours away) but I have made the last five trips with our little girl to see him because he doesn’t feel like driving here.. he continuously makes up excuses, and has told me unless i move there then our relationship is hopeless. I broke up with him for saying that and for not trying to see us… he seems completely unbothered. What do i do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 2, 2020 at 11:24 pm

Hey Mary so go into a limited no contact where you only reply to him if he asks about your child. If he doesnt then that tells you the sort of person he truly is. If you are not willing to move to him, and he is not willing to move to you then the relationship is going to be strained from the start. Read the articles on how to do limited no contact when you have children

Breanne Kraft

December 22, 2019 at 1:52 pm

My fiancé/BD were together for about 3 years. Before we got pregnant we briefly broke up but he came back and begged for me back; telling me he still wanted to marry me, build a future and have a family with me. We got pregnant a month later around our anniversary.
We weren’t in the greatest living situation and financially struggling so I think that is what caused him to suddenly change. He got angry with me and argued a lot and suddenly said he doesn’t love me the same way anymore. We worked it out a little and agreed to a break, we were technically still together but I will be living with my dad 10hrs away while he stayed. We wanted to improve ourselves for the baby.
Unfortunately he ended up cheating on me. He was also not improving at all since I left, he has gotten worse. To avoid being evicted with a lawsuit, and being deported his mistress said she would help him if they lived together. He told me he doesn’t love her, and as soon as he is able he will leave her. But she is paying all the bills and buying him gifts while he doesn’t work or has any responsibility.
It scares me because this isn’t like him at all. When he told me he was living with her we were done. He did tell me that he thought of me every time he was with her, that he wanted to be with me but he can’t right now. Before he told me about the cheating he would text me and flirt with me, he even said that he does still love me but he needs more time to figure out what he wants.
I was guilty of telling him how I loved him still and miss him, but he would just get angry or annoyed when I kept calling or messaging. But seeing how he is now, not even a man living with someone he can’t stand only because he isn’t taking care of himself, showed me he isn’t ready to be a father or be with me.
Baby is due in about 10 weeks, I’ve been trying to focus on her and embrace the possibility of being a single mom, but I still end up worrying about him or missing him. He has told me that he misses kissing me and having sex with me because he hasn’t enjoyed it with the other woman once. But because I kept bugging him on how I miss and still love him he gets angry and stops talking to me. Did I mess up any chance of making us a family again? With the NC rule work for me or am I too late? Is there a possibility he would come back to me?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 22, 2019 at 6:02 pm

Hi Breanne, you do need to stop bugging your ex, really you do! Limited no contact and only inform him if he needs to know about the baby / pregnancy. During this time you need to remind yourself that he is telling you he wants you to leave him be – let him feel what life is life without you in it to miss you and consider how he feels about you is real or not. You have messed up in a way, but not too late to fix that and start following the EBR program now to give you, your best chance of getting him back

Deanna

December 19, 2019 at 1:59 pm

I was with my ex for 4 about to be 5 year. In the 2end year we had our first daughter who is 3 now, thangs were good till last year when he and I hit some ruff patches. Arguing, I was jealous over his co workers. When I was out of town he went to a bar and long stories short kissed another woman, we broke up, he continued to talk to her. Then wound up taking me back and lost contact with her when we found out we were expecting another child, thangs were fine for most of that year a few arguments hear and there and alot of stress.. finally we had our second daughter who is 3 months now. Around when she was a month the father totalled our only vehicle, and lost his good job, so now I’m stuck home all the time but he was still finding rides and a little work. One day I noticed he was texting alot but deleting the messages so I started assuming, he pulled away more and more till one day he just ended our relationship last month, he swore up and down there was no one else.. 2 weeks into the break up I told him I missed him and wanted to make it work. He flipped out on me, and wound up telling me he was seeing someone else already.. she left her man for him and he left me for herzdx basically. Well it’s been a month and he brags about how she has a job and is taking care of his fines and court stuff for him, and even tells me when shes around our children or whatever. He barely says anythang to me and ignores most of my text because she doesn’t want him talking to me at all unless it’s aboutthe kids. I did most of the parental stuff when we were together cause he never seemed interested in the responsibility.. but now hes all for 50 50 custody. Hes told me he hasnt loved me for a while and was pretending, and alot of other mean or hurtful stuff during this break up

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 22, 2019 at 4:52 pm

Hi Deanna this is a hurtful situation to be in and you do need to do a limtied no contact where you are not speaking with him for some time, only about the children and when you are supposed to meet for him to see them or bring the back to you etc. During which time you need to work on yourself so that you get over what you have had to go through during the relationship and the break up. His actions are hurtful, but take this time to work on becoming the Ungettable showing him that you do not need him, how you can handle the work / mom life by yourself. And if you still want him back at the end of the 45 days then you can start doing the being there method. All this information is on this website so it is there to help you apply it to your situation and break up

Jessica96

December 19, 2019 at 11:55 am

My ex and I are having a baby in may. We broke up 3 months ago but we’re still supposed to be exclusive and were working on getting back together. About a month ago I found out he was sleeping with someone else during our relationship and is now with her when she contacted me. I am a wreck and he is very openly claiming her on social media and introduced her to family while I’m sitting here alone waiting on the baby to come. He says he will not break up with her and our only chance to get back together is for her to break up with him. Am I a lost cause? I really want my family together and this is making me constantly depressed and feeling hopeless.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 22, 2019 at 4:41 pm

Oh Jessica I am so sorry he has done this to you, if you want him back then you need to do the being there method which is going to be hard as it takes a lot of emotional control and being pregnant that is hard. For now you need to do a limited no contact where you only speak with him about the baby and other wise you avoid speaking with him. During which time you can focus on yourself and how to be happy and prepared for baby arrival. If he wants to be in babies life then he is going to have to see you from time to time and that is going to cause problems in his new relationship. So just focus on you for now.

Aj

December 14, 2019 at 5:36 am

My ex and I were together for almost 4 years, he left less than 2 weeks before our anniversary. We have a three year old and I am pregnant with our second. I am still so inlove with him but he says we will never be together again but wants to remain good friends.. easier said than done.

I keep limited contact, don’t have him on social media and respond when it’s about our child or the pregnancy.

He seems very set in his decision to not work things out EVER. He says that I need to sort myself out, feels like there is a lot of projection. I know he still loves me, he’s told me that he has no intentions on being with anyone else and sleeping with anyone else doesn’t interest him. That he is happy on his own and it just being his kids and him in this life… Which breaks my heart and soul because I want it to be us 4. All of us under the one roof. I’m half way through my pregnancy and the thought of him not living with me when bub is here makes me ill with grief.. I just want my family back.

He has also said “just because we aren’t together, that doesn’t mean that I don’t care about you”… But it feels like I’m wishing for something that will never happen. I’m so heart broken.

How long do I even do limited contact for? Will he ever come back? How do I stop hurting… So many questions. I just want him back.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 14, 2019 at 10:39 pm

Hi AJ, I am so sorry you’re going through this during a pregnancy, you are going to have to just try to control your emotions as much as you can. And work on yourself if you ex is telling you that he still cares about you but that you need to work on yourself and that you are projecting consider what it is he is referring to and what it is he feels is causing him to be this way towards you too. Do you argue a lot as a couple? It is a hard time going through a break up with children so it is great you are doing limited no contact but do not go longer than 30 days and in that time you need to show that you are working on yourself during this time so that he sees you are taking notice of what he has said his reason for leaving are.

Monica

December 13, 2019 at 6:01 pm

so I was dating my son’s father for 6 years and our 5th year together we had our son and a year of us having a baby and living together he decided to up and leave me and his son for another woman, I was devastated and it broke me down, I’ve never felt so heartbroken in my life , he has been with the girl for a year but on and off he’s been playing with my emotions saying he wants his family back and he doesn’t want to see me with another man and about three weeks ago he came to me crying and saying all the right things ,we ended up doing things I regret and after that he told me he wanted to go to therapy to try to get back the trust and I was all in it. but a week ago he turns around and tells me that he can’t see hisself with me and we grew apart and I found out a few days ago he’s back with the girl and they are living together. Is this some sort of mind game his playing or was I dumb for trustinG him again

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 15, 2019 at 8:58 pm

Hi Monica, I am so sorry he has done this to you, what he has done is made you a “option” to him. Now this is hurtful thing to hear and it is hard to understand as you have been together for 5 years and have a child. But when things go wrong with the other woman he is going to come back to you. Promise you the world and then when they both work it out, hell go back to her. He doesn’t want you with another man – because then he doesn’t have you as an option. I suggest you start dating and getting to know other men, and I promise you that your ex wont react well to this, he will be angry upset and jealous. But he will not fully leave the other woman unless you tell him he has to come back and mean it. Or leave you to live your life.

LaTonya

December 9, 2019 at 3:18 am

Hi, what do you do if you’re currently pregnant and living with your ex/baby daddy and you find out that he’s starting to date other people and you still love him and want him back. How do I go about the no contact thing if I live with him? Am I the hopeless “you’re never getting back together” case?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 9, 2019 at 6:02 pm

Hi LaTonya, so you need to do what is called limited no contact where you talk about shared bills and responsibilities. Let him know any developments with the baby and thats all you can speak about, avoid sitting in the same room as him or spending more time than necessary. In that time you need to make it clear that other men are interested in you. Even though you are pregnant it doesnt mean you cant get to know other guys. And he wont like the fact of a possible other man around your child.

Genie

December 4, 2019 at 4:12 am

Hello so here is my situation…. I got pregnant 2 months after I met my BD. We broke up during my pregnancy and he started dating someone. This person finally found out about me after I told her. He finally decided to leave her and be with me after the baby was born. This was in 2012 when I gave birth. This girl never left his life (they stood in contact). Well we tried to be together, but it never worked out as he never understood me and he played the field. I loved him this whole time. We still was involved sexually here and there, but after 2015 we never got back officially. Well I started dating and met someone in another state, but still loved him and wished we would be together. In 2017 I found out he was dating the same girl he was with when I was pregnant (we never got along). I decided to move away to the other state with my new BF to find out the girl he was dating moved to the same state and he decided to get an apartment with her. So he worked in one state and had an apartment in the other state with this girl. I only live two hours away from them. Well during their relationship and mine I decided to move on, but he would hit me up with I still love you, I want to be with you…. so I decided to believe him. I told him to get an apartment for us and I would leave my current situation for him (this was in 2018). He ended up renewing a lease with his girl and this killed me. So currently I live with my BF and he lives with his GF and we still talk about being together. I’ AM just sick of the back and forth and him not proving he really wants to be with me and my daughter. I do love him and I would love to be with him (i want my family), but is there any chance? I have no idea what else to do anymore. I do feel I act desperate and he feels I need him and I’ll always want him so the respect is no longer there. Please help! What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 6, 2019 at 9:35 pm

Hey Genie, so you need to do a limited no contact where you only speak about the shared child/ren you have and that is it for at least 30 days maybe 45 depending on how you feel by day 30. And then when you reach out, you need to be friendly and show you are not interested in talking emotionally or about getting back together just about something that you can have short conversation that is positive and you can end first.

Monica

November 28, 2019 at 5:44 pm

My ex and I have a baby boy who is 4 months old. We had been together for 3 years and things started going south when our boy was 2 weeks old. Don’t get me wrong, we had rough patches before but nothing like what was in store for us. Baby was unplanned and we hadn’t yet moved in together, but the assumption was that I would gradually move in with him so we could be a family. Anyway, we started fighting over our son all the time. Without going too much into detail as I’ll be here all night, what behaviours and rules I thought were common sense turned out not to be for him. The division of labour was unfair and he didn’t listen to a single word of my input nor did he care much for my emotions, wants and needs. We took a break and continued to fight over access arrangements for our son. Things seem to be settling now we’ve ironed out all the creases around our son using a parenting plan we are both happy with but I find myself missing him greatly. Whilst what I’ve described probably sounds terrible, I wonder if he just reacted badly to fatherhood and perhaps I ought to rethink the finality of this break. He doesn’t like to open up and communicate and it makes me quick to anger as disputes can last days or even weeks which isn’t healthy for our son, but I can’t help but feel that perhaps if I had done things differently or just let things go then maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation. He’s not made much of an effort to try and win me back over, but his family think he doesn’t know how to act now he’s dug himself into this hole with me. I want my family together so desperately, but where is the line? When is enough truly enough? What is forgivable and what is not? He makes out to me like he is doing fine and that hurts in more ways than he’ll ever imagine, especially since I have to see him weekly when he visits our son at my home. I want him to show me that he wants our family, I don’t want to be the one to make the first move as I always do because I feel that maybe I’m the only one holding on too tightly to something that has no future.

What am I supposed to do? Is it futile to hold out hope?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 1, 2019 at 9:43 pm

Hi Monica, so you need to ask yourself do you want him back so you can be a family or do you want him back because you love him?

Having your first baby is hard going when you are both first time parents and it is a lot of trail and error on both you parts and you have to find a way to coparent well with each other. You will both have different ideas on how to raise a child as you were both raised differently by your own parents. Now as for getting back together, you are going to have to do something called limited no contact for about 30 days, leave him with the baby and you go have a break. Make sure everything he needs is in the baby bag. Make sure he knows where the bottles etc are kept if he is formula fed or if baby is breastfed, express some before he comes around. And LEAVE if only for an hour he needs that bonding time with his child and you need the break too. This leaving will make him worry about who and where you are going and make sure you look good when you do go out, appearing happy when you come back. If you give him clear image that you are not waiting around for him it should kick him into gear to want to win you back

Jasmine

November 27, 2019 at 3:58 pm

My BD currently lives 10hrs away. We had know each other since august 2015. We were on and off with no title due to him cheating and not being sure he wants to be with me because I have very bad emotional reactions. This whole time he and his other BM has been involved and at one point they had to come up and live with him due to financial struggles after we got through that I thought maybe we can finally be together. We become involved again and I end up pregnant. He moved out of town with his family and he said I want to be with you but idk just yet. He has a lot to deal with in relation to his other BM and family. I currently found out this past weekend that again they are living together. He says if for financial support to help get her back on her feet and it won’t be long. I asked if he sleeps with her in the same bed, he said yes.

I’m currently heartbroken because even after all the infidelity I still love this man. I have spoken to him for 4 days and he recently left me a message saying I’m guessing you don’t want to talk to me and I guess whatever you want me to know about the child you’ll let me know. I feel like he doesn’t care about our relationship and he is ok with me leaving. This relationship had me depressed and suicidal due to amount of trust and hope I put into it and the hope I had. He knows this. I have a therapist I speak to but it still hurts.

I’m not sure if it’s me or him anymore. What is the right thing to do. I still love him and was hoping him saying he wanted be with me was true. What do I do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 30, 2019 at 11:03 pm

Hi Jasmine, I think the best thing for you to do is limited no contact where you only speak to him about your shared children and nothing else for a while. He is telling you one thing but is doing another with his actions. He is keeping you as an option in my opinion while he plays happy families with the other woman. Does she know you are pregnant with his child again?

If you want to get emotionally and mentally strong you need to distance yourself from him and get back on your feet. Show him you do not need him in your life with the children and you have your situation under control. I would even consider dating because I can guarantee he wont like the thought of you being with someone else, even though he is sleeping in the same bed as her while telling you he wants you.

Chanel

November 26, 2019 at 6:26 pm

My situation is very different & very hard to figure out which measures to take

My child’s father & I would be 5yrs next week December 3rd unfortunately splitting this November 21st.

We have shared 1 son together, a daughter that passed away this year to SIDS & another daughter I am due with February 9th 2020.

We were both living w my mother & financially he was responsible for going half on all the bills while I remained a stay at home mom.
Our relationship has been pretty rocky in the past there has been cheating, lying, & retaliation involved.
Nov 21 he found out that during a 24hr period of a break after I found out he was cheating I decided to sleep w a friend of his, which left him enraged & he decided to pack a bag & leave, cleared the bank account we shared & left me w just enough to pay the rent & that’s it.

So far it has been only a week & there have been no word exchange. I have seen that he has gone on tinder, & other dating apps so I am at a loss of what to do & what exactly I want is.
Is there a chance to get this person back considering this is our history of back & forth?
Or was this news just the excuse to fleet from responsibilities right before the baby is due..
do I reach out to him about the financial needs for bills? Or just leave it completely no contact til he reaches out..

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 26, 2019 at 7:25 pm

Hi Chanel, taking into account all that has happened to you both during your relationship I wouldnt see it as excuse to leave because of the baby leaving, no. I think its the factor that you went to a friend of his while broken up. So even though he cheated on you, his friend has also hurt him right now. The taking the money from the account and leaving you without money however is not good. I would reach out to him and ask if he is willing to continue to help paying bills until you are in a position to do it without him and he just pay child maintenance (short term basis) while you stick to a limited no contact and work through the program you also have a shared responsibility to keep the roof over your childrens heads regardless of the outcome

Tee Shunta

November 20, 2019 at 9:36 pm

My ex and I already have a daughter together. He broke up with me around Christmas time last year, but we remained living together. We continue to do things as a couple and were still having sex. He was talking to other girls during our breakup, but I’m unsure if he was sexually active with any of them. Here recently I found out I was pregnant two weeks after I move out the home, because I couldn’t deal with the lying about where he was going when he would leave the house. After telling him about the pregnancy, he had mixed feelings, but suddenly he became adamant he wanted an abortion, but also said the decision was on me. After several weeks and my first dr appointment I decided to keep the baby. He has not been tentative with anything concerning the baby’s health, my health, doesn’t ask about appointments, and really act like I’m not even pregnant. No one in his family (which I’m very close too) is aware of the pregnancy. Yes, he still does his duties for our oldest, but I’m left to deal with the pregnancy struggles alone. I’m embarrassed and fearful of having another child with a man that don’t acknowledge he has another child on the way. I’m at a lost and need advice how to move forward in this type of situation.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 24, 2019 at 12:41 am

Hi Tee, so with your situation you have moved out meaning you can do limited no contact. By the sounds of things he is quite happy to leave to do that, as of right now you are not going to be able to move on properly with someone else because he knows oyure pregnant with his child and probably knows you want to be in a relationship with him. You know he is a good father to your first child so I would assume he is going to do the same for the second. Your issue is you need to get him to want to get back with you. So do your best to follow the program and work on becoming Ungettable

Elle

November 17, 2019 at 6:46 pm

My ex and I had a baby early 2019 and we are expecting another child early 2020. He’s in the military and is on his way to a different state thousands of miles away. He will be living there for the next 5 years. The plan was for our daughter and I to stay behind, so that I would have help from my family since he’s about to leave for deployment and I don’t really know anybody in the new state. He broke up with me a couple of days ago though. Said that he loves me and cares about me deeply, but isn’t in love with me. He also let me know that he doesn’t want us to come there again, but that he will be there for me and the kids and that he will be here for the birth of our new child. I love this man so much. I am crushed and I don’t know what direction to go in. I just don’t understand how he could do this to me now… He said that there is no chance that we will ever get back together. Is there anything that I can do? Could these methods work for me? I really want my family together.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 18, 2019 at 10:41 pm

Hi Elle so yes there is a chance but you are going to have to be strong which at this time is going to be hard for you considering youre about to give birth in a couple of months. Read the articles that are posted on this webstie about how to do the process when you have a child with your ex. And read about the limited no contact too

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