The Simple 2 Step Method To Get Your "Baby Daddy" Back

383 thoughts on “Here’s How To Get Your “Baby Daddy” Back”

Lilla

May 7, 2019 at 5:32 pm

My baby daddy and I broke up 4 months ago. I didn’t even thought that he’ll be around anymore… but he was there when our daughter was born, and since then he was around. We had a great time every time he came, he even said that how much I changed since the baby… and he is not againts anything good in the future. But I was tired and scared and wanted to rush things, and told him not to call me anymore and I don’t want to see him. He didn’t came since. It’s been 2 weaks. Now he is telling me again that he doesn’t want anything with me and leave him alone because we are not working together. What can I do?
Lillian

May 1, 2019 at 10:02 pm

Hi Chris
I was in a relationship with my baby’s father for 5 months then I got pregnant by my partner was not happy with the news so he begged me to abort giving an excuse that I had another child who I got some time back in highschool before I met him. He said that how could I get another baby before official marriage and how was it going to look in my parents but I insisted to keep the pregnancy and saved my baby’s life. He was not giving me any support so I decided to inform his parents about it which caused him to become bitter at me and break up with me. But he started giving me support from now until I gave birth, he is currently giving me support for the baby and he insists that our baby should be the only thing uniting us.
What hurt me most of recent is that he came to me and told me that he is seeing someone else which hurt me so much up to now coz I still love him and want him back.
So, I’m asking, is it possible to win him back?Or I should also move on.
Thank you,
Lillian A

Chris Seiter

May 2, 2019 at 1:12 am

Hi Lillian….usually your chances are enhanced if you are making use of a sensible ex recovery plan. So take a look at my program and remember, the key focus of any plan is your recovery…the healing that needs to take place.

Meh

May 1, 2019 at 4:48 pm

My ex fiance, baby’s father and I bring up almost 2 weeks ago now. He moved his brother in who I have a shaky history with because he stole from me in the past…. I let him move in because I thought he was changed. Come to find out he drinks a ton and stays up extremely late. My guy started doing the same after already having an issue with that….it turned into a lonely night with my almost 2 yr old every night while they partied in the garage. I left him and moved in with his father and gf. He texted me asking for my ring back. I’m sad ….

Feels like I can’t even think of words to say anytime he text me. It’s always about my baby, he’s getting him a new bed since I took the crib… One thing he did text to me directly towards me was ….”please get it together, put down is important” also a lot to do with him giving me tons of chances and I self sabatoged myself and I need to find a new place and he’d watch baby from home when he starts going to school…… Just a lot of that type of stuff…..

I actually really do feel the loss and miss him….
Chey

April 19, 2019 at 9:16 pm

My baby dad says he is tired of hurting me and is done. He is texting other ppl now. He says he was tired of his life and is now running around the streets. He says his privates is only for me but his mouth isn’t and gets mad when a guy kisses or even holds my hand. He says when he’s done running around being a kid he will come back home. What do I do pls help is there still hope
Helena

February 24, 2019 at 10:18 pm

Dear Chris ,

I was helpless and came across your article. I am 14 weeks pregnant. My baby daddy has left me since week 8 , he didn’t even say he was leaving he just cut all contact as his mother and older sister ( who have a family for herself) did not approve of my pregnancy. Initially when he found out he was very happy and he was supportive, came to every mid wife appointment. There was an incident in January where his mum spoke very bad of our baby and I defended the child myself and him and he was there with me – since that day he has gone away. He emailed me three weeks later saying why he doesn’t want to be with me and none of it made sense it seemed like an excuse or something that his family has brainwashed him with. I knew his family very well and I helped them and him whilst he had an eye operation in December and everything. Hence why I was upset and reacted the way I did to defend us. I tried to apologise to his family they didn’t want to hear it and I have tried to speak to him and he just says it’s an unwanted baby , then said he will help and then he just left and has not spoken at all . He has heard me cry I have been in hospital for bleeding I’m guessing it’s stress but baby is wel so I’m thankful. I’m a little scared asbim alone sometimes and I really wish he realises that we can be together. There are more scans and I do want him to see our baby – becuase I know the man he was and the man he is now I can’t even recognise it’s like split personality
Another thing is that I see him everyday at work on the same floor so he is just going to watch me walk around with a bump and not feel a thing and it’s hard everytime I see him but I’m coping . Trying to be positive that If I don’t beg then he may come back sooner rather than later.

Your article has helped me thank you !

Helena
Nikky

February 24, 2019 at 9:52 am

What if I broke up with him, and he wanted our baby more than I am?
Now he didn’t even wants to talk to me, and he didn’t love me… do you think when our baby arrive he will be close to me too?
Yami

February 11, 2019 at 3:51 am

My sons father and i broke up 2 months ago he said he will never ever get back with me
That he loves me but is not inlove with me .
He said he wants to focus on his money and our son. I begged him for a whole month but i eventually gave up because he said he wouldnt try anymore and that i should move on . I been in limited contact with him . He just wants to hang out with me just to have sex but i honestly know my worth and i want to be more than just his friends with benefit i want to be his fiance again the mother of his child his partner. We started to get very distant because of his job and all the video gaming he did . He wouldnt even spend time with me or hang out with our son . Arguments started to pick up and he started to hang out with people more which was weird to me because he was never a social person . So my insecurities started to take over and i told him that i didnt like the fact that he has been going out more and it eventually led to a big fight were he told me to leave and that he was done. The reason y i started to feel like that was because he never hid his phone from me and he started to hide it under the pillow until i found out he was talking to a coworker but he she has a bf so im so lost :/ ….. he also told me that he is much happier without me now :! Help !!! I really want to make this work with him . I love him so much !

Chris Seiter

February 11, 2019 at 11:46 pm

Hi Yami!

I can see things have been a struggle. Sometimes if what you are doing isn’t working, the wise choice to to try another approach…another path.

Sandy

January 18, 2019 at 7:22 am

So we were dating 2 months things progressing well before … Bam: surprise pregnancy. His response was mostly shock and, what should we do now, fear of repeating past…. Both of us had children from prior relationship.
He began to distance himself said things had changed. He was called on duty for 3 weeks when he got back we chatted briefly and then picking up on all the red flags I just didn’t respond to see if he would pursue anything, step up, or put in effort. I haven’t heard from him since our last text. It’s been almost 5 months. I’m now 7 months pregnant with not so much as a word? I have taken many positive steps to move on and woman up to be the mother I need to be, I just have this nagging feeling since it was such a casual open ended text: literally” how’s your day? Well it’s hard adjusting to being back. Ok, we’ll hang in there! ” and that was the end … Nothing about the baby or us or anything really just a blend out sort of thing
Is this evidence to just move on?
I can’t help feeling there’s too much left unsaid… Do I open conversation?
He has my number … Could have contacted me at any time. Is that all the evidence I really need … The no effort says it all kind of reality.

Chris Seiter

January 18, 2019 at 3:53 pm

Hi Sandy! I can see a lot is going on.Your focus should be on your continued improvement in your mental and physical health as a breakup can wear on one and being a healthy “you” is very important. You can move on, without fulling moving on, but setting your priority to take care of you and baby to come is most important. My Program gets into many different was you can embrace your full personal recovery, so feel free to explore.

Denise

January 15, 2019 at 8:59 pm

First off, let me express how happy I am to have come across this article. I had heard about the no contact rule but wasn’t sure how to go about it with my child’s father so thank you for clearing that up. I recently started dating and made sure he knows about it, mainly because I wanted him to realize that I won’t wait around forever, so it looks like I’ve gotten the projection part down. I’m excited to see what happens from here… thank you.

Chris Seiter

January 15, 2019 at 11:01 pm

Hi Denise…glad you enjoyed the article…best of luck to you Denise and feel free to visit my home page of the site as it will lead you to all kinds of resources.

Appletree

December 30, 2018 at 7:04 pm

So my no contact rule included blocking him because he’s an ass I played the broken girl then the angry girl and I got tired of him not communicating or doing for the kids not showing up so I blocked him. But now I’m the bad guy. My question is with 2 kids because sometimes you feel enough is just enough and you need to cut him out. And his toxic behaviors . Am I wrong for blocking him? Do I unblock him and follow your rules even tho he has now forced me to be a single mother and suffer cuz communicating with him makes me feel like I allow him to do what he wants when and how he wants

Chris Seiter

December 30, 2018 at 11:09 pm

Hi Appletree!

If your are blocking him for your own emotional well being, then that’s fine. You should focus your efforts on your own healing. I think you will benefit a lot from having your time and space away from, particularly if he is behind a lot of toxic behaviors.

Alanna

December 28, 2018 at 4:29 pm

Hi

I was with my ex for about 3 yrs and 11 months we have little girls together age 2 an 7 months. It’s been 9 days now since he left without a word on why and jus basically left me hanging an felt so abandoned an my kids to I have been texting him for days now asking why an jus on Christmas day the 25 I had called him from my sisters landline cause he would not at all answer my phone calls so decided to use a different number he did not know an he picked up kept asking who is this an I told him it’s Alanna an he asked what do u want do u want more money an I said no I want to know why u left an did this to the girls an I an he wouldn’t answer an then I asked him are u with someone an he replied ‘ so what if I am ‘ an I said are u serious what about us an our relationship u cant jus do that an he replied what relationship an he went silent an a minute later hung up then I kept calling an now he wouldn’t answer knowing it’s me so I jus left it alone for a day an i ended up texting him again wanting answers an he still would not text me back so I let it be again an ya I been texting him on an off hoping he would reply an still have no gotten an answer he has not even asked about our kids an how they are doing it jus seems like he does not care I don’t know what went wrong he was so lovable to me always telling me he loves an would kiss me all the time an constantly fondle me an say that I make him crazy an that he would never let me go or give up on me an I believed him. He even said in our whole relationship that he would never cheat on me ever an that if it ever happened he wouldn’t be able to face my girls an I an so I’m guessing this is why he’s been ignoring me he even said that he never felt good about himself to hook up with any one an I believed he would never do that an ya I was wrong everything he told me for basically was a lie cause he ended up doing it all an leaving my kids an I astray what should I do I miss him an so do my kids , I wonder if he even misses us or even still loves me like he always told me he did an he would tell me all the time that he will love me forecer an that I’m his first an only love. I don’t know what to do can u please help me I want him back but how ?

Chris Seiter

December 29, 2018 at 2:19 am

Hi Alanna!

I can see a lot has happened and you have gone thru a lot. Best to have an ex recovery plan going forward. Check out my eBook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as its massive in length and will help you on the healing side and offer you some insights into how to effectively implement No Contact.

Sarah

December 8, 2018 at 9:48 am

Hi very interesting read.
I’m in a bit of a pickle myself. My ex (wit 2 children together of 5years) has finally confessed he has a gf.After absolutely trying to hide and deny it for days. Even after more than one person told me… and he was caught out he still tried to deny it. I even said look just tell me I’m fine with it but nope.
..however, in the beginning when I kicked him out and after he was pledding me to take him back… I tried to move on… we had a fight… and didn’t speak for about 5 weeks
…. until I message him.. broke the silence.. told him I missed him. I still loved him… he confessed he missed me and the kids so much. The next 3 weeks was bless…. we shared a kiss. Now that she the gf poped up. Turns out they had been together for the last month. She told me she would cut ties with him so we could fix our family if that was what I wanted. But it was my call as she felt bad for hurting me…
I said. Thanks much appreciated I do want to fix my family

Now the ex is messaging me how he doesn’t love me…that he doesn’t think he could ever love me again and he doesn’t want it to work he never will and please let him be happy and move on… not to waste my time o him etc blah blah blah
I responded and was truthfully… I said I still love him. I want our family back and I am prepared to do whatever it takes to get him back.. we have been through everything together through thick and thin. So take whatever space you need…
He replied with u will never get me back. So I didn’t respond and left him to it…

Do you think he will come back to me…

Chris Seiter

December 9, 2018 at 2:22 am

Hi Sarah…glad you enjoyed the post. So guys sometimes do and say foolish things. Probably time for you to employ no contact and follow thru on all the elments I talk about in my Program.

Stephany

December 3, 2018 at 2:52 pm

Dear Jenilee,

Don’t look at what he is doing.
Just focus on the time you are together and if he is a good dad to your son. Don’t play the broken girl, you’ll become a femme fatale to his eyes. Good luck.
Jenilee

November 26, 2018 at 11:00 am

Hey!
Me and my 5 month old baby’s father was together for 4 years and 8months and broke up in August this year. I had 2 miscarriages and that had a big effect on our relationship. We hardly talked about it until I found out he is seeing someone else and confessed that he loves her. I found that out when our son was only 2 months old. I was devastated because they were seeing each other since January already. I couldn’t process the fact that he told me, his girlfriend of almost 5 years that he loves me and the girl he only knew for a few months both and he is scared to loose us both. He broke it off with me saying that he couldn’t stand hurting me any longer and that he is not leaving me to go into a relationship with her. I accepted the break up but the mistake I made was to continue sleeping with him knowing he still sees her. After a few weeks he told me that the 2 of them no are longer seeing each other and that he wants me and our son in his life, which turned out to be all lies. I wanted to believe him so bad. I was crushed when I found out he was lying to me about not seeing her. He told me he is confused and does not know who he wants to be with because he loves us both and is scared. The question I asked myself was how can he compare me with someone he does not really know! Now I want your advice please. I truly want to be with him and raise our son together. I just want to know if it is worth fighting for him? I know i need to give myself space to process everything and deal with his infidelity.
Sam

November 16, 2018 at 1:53 am

Hi Chris

Been reading a lot of your contents. Thanks so much for the fun and enlightening articles!

I’m a mom of two from my former ex and then when I got out of my former ex’s 4 year relationship, I healed and was 6-7 years single. Then now I’m 6months pregnant again by another baby daddy who also has a 1 year old kid from his ex girlfriend. When I met him, I was honest about my background and my responsibilities and my fear of being with someone again if only for another heartbreak, esp with complicated situations. Cut the story short, he did everything to prove me that he and his baby mama were over for long and that he was really serious about being with me. Took the chance to be with him and everything went well at for months of dating til we found out we were having a baby and we were still happy about it. Then his mom died days after finding out I’m pregnant. So his baby mama(who was close to his family) went to the funeral and was more welcomed because of course of the baby that they have and there they reconciled. After bereavement of my baby daddy’s mother, his baby mama learned that I’m pregnant so she kept their child away from him again. My baby daddy became indifferent towards me and we started having arguments yet he still stuck around. I understand he was grieving and depressed and nobody else makes him happy at the moment of grief but his child and yet he couldnt see him. It lasted for a month til the 1st bday (when he’s not invited) and got really frustrated and agitated about it. Simultaneously with our misunderdtandings , his baby mama kept harassing me through many diff fake social media accounts and since I was pregnant and emotional, I know I made mistakes of calling my baby daddy every time I get messages because I became affected by them that pissed him off til he became more and more distant to me. One time we were having another conversation of that same issue and he said he wants to be out of it. I asked him if he is going back to the girl and he was always pissed if I ask because he said I know how much he hates that girl. During the same time,his baby mama and child was at their house(Bc picked up by his sister) and they fought about me again and his father already intervened. The next day, during another fight over the fone, he admitted that he’s going back to his first baby mama. I was so hurt and got so mad that I went to his office and physically hurt him. And that made a very significant mark on him til now. After that incident, we kept fighting over and over. When we got tired of fighting, we talked calmly and I said if hes happier with her, id undertand and we agreed that we are still going to communicate about the baby. He promised me that he won’t get back with her yet til our baby comes out out of respect and for peace and that he will support our baby and me. So I agreed and decided to go NC. After a few days, I saw a Facebook post that they’re a happy family. It is so heartbreaking but I never confronted him about it anymore and dropped it. Now he sees me negatively, sees the other girl as very angelic(after telling me she’s evil and all, basically tables turned), he believes that I’m the one who started all the crazy social media stuff, forgot all the good things about us. And worst, he blocked me on everything and bad mouthed me to everyone. This is so devastating. How could he shift from one decision to another in a matter of days????? I feel that I am so close to getting insanely baffled but of course I won’t lol I need to smarten up for all my kids. But after all, I can’t just hate him. I’m just so sad and confused.

Do you think there is still any chance for us to revert things???? I feel so horrible and sometimes I blame myself. That I should have retained my compsure. But I could also say my emotions were too strong bc of overthinking and preg hormones.I am so stressed out. Been like this for months. PLEASE HELP :((( People call me stupid but I still have a glimmer of hope we could get back in the end and be better and happy again. PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME :((((
Nikki

November 11, 2018 at 10:43 pm

I am going to try this.

I had a baby with a guy and he is very involved with our daughter. We sometimes visit together with her. He has been vocal about not wanting a relationship and all he wants to do is make money for her and his love of hunting.

I do love and care about him and I hope that maybe this does something..
Stacey

November 10, 2018 at 9:54 am

Sorry to sound stupid but my head is all over the place and i cant see whats what maybe because I’m sitting on the whole thing and can’t see what others see. So could you clarify what you mean as in ‘you think I’ve answered my own question’

Sorry to bombard you but I feel So lost without him. I’m trying so hard to show I’m moving on and it’s slightly working because he’s wanting to know all the names I’ve been talking about because he’s never heard of them before. Definitely showing jealously but it’s not enough. I just want him home where he belongs.

Thank you Chris…
Stacey

November 9, 2018 at 12:06 pm

I read your stuff on the internet everyday and they have helped me. This time away from my ex (and I’m hoping it is just time) has made me reflect on myself and where I went wrong. Of course we had our ups and downs but we got on more than we didn’t, hence why we lasted 13yrs.
We had a nice little time together on Tuesday where we were all playfully with each other and we laughed together a few times as well.
I reminded him of good times plus shown him a picture that he sent me a few months ago (which he smiled at and looked at it properly not just a quick look)
I’m just so confused why he would want to be with this girl with the trouble she’s caused and like I said, doesn’t speak fondly of her. Maybe he needs to do it himself rather than me telling him what she is. For the first time on Wednesday he said to me that he knows she was the one that caused the trouble and he’s sorry for saying I was as bad as her for retaliating (I only did because my kids were mentioned) so I’m hoping he’s realising more now about her.
The unwritten rule ‘you don’t get involved with the mother of your children’

So from a man and coach what is your opinion on the whole messed up situation?
He has said we are not good together, when that is a lie. Plus why would he beg me to take him back if that was the case? But I believe men can come out and say things like that when they are going through the hurting process. He said I have been the only one that has been there for him even over his family who he no longer talks to and my family has been more of a family to him than his own too. He knows I’m good for him (which he’s told me himself) and even his friend has told him he’d be an idiot to lose me because how good I was for him.
He’s just not the same anymore even in his appearance that has gone down too. What is that telling me? He’s obviously not as good as he was when living with me.
I just hope we can reconcile what we had.
I love and miss him so much!
Thank you…

Chris Seiter

November 10, 2018 at 2:10 am

Hi Stacey!

I think you answered you own question.

Shaniqua Ellington

November 8, 2018 at 9:50 pm

My name is Shaniqua mother of four been with my baby father 10 years and he just broke up with me in the beginning of the year and got engaged to a women older then him that his father introduced him to , throughout the whole relationship we been on and off with him cheating even while I was pregnant but I always took him back now this time around he left me for good and I’ve been stressing myself ever since, I want to know if there’s still hope of us getting back hes a good man to our kids but when I try to talk to him about getting back he brings up his fiance and at this point I’m wondering if I should move on or if we have a chance on getting back together

Chris Seiter

November 8, 2018 at 11:31 pm

Hi Shaniqua!

Rude of him to bring up his fiance. Perhaps its time to focus on your own healing. Have you tried NC?

Stacey

November 8, 2018 at 8:28 pm

Hiya Chris,

First of all I think your brilliant at what you do. So well done to getting where you are…

Basically me and my ex were together for 13yrs with children and lived together. Now he is living in his mates house which he hated. I initiated the break up and totally, totally REGRET IT! It was over something silly but fixable. At the time I wasn’t really thinking ahead and just ended it. He begged and begged me and STUPIDLY I kept saying no. I hate myself for it now. I’ve been so emotional over it all especially because I have been so stupid. Another thing I ABSOLUTELY REGRET was that I made someone up that I was speaking to (which was a horrible lie) which he knows now that there was no one. I only wanted him to show he cared and appreciate me more. But I know that was a terrible thing to do and I have definitely learned my lesson and would never do anything like that again. I really don’t know what came over me to even think of something like that. Just awful.
He told me he felt physicall sick that he’s lost me and can’t live without his family and couldn’t bare me with anyone else etc…
Then, after a few weeks of begging me it stopped! I found out he met a girl whilst he was still begging me but then he went cold with me. I’m guessing or hoping it’s a rebound.
This girl was cheating on her partner with my ex and got pregnant. I know this sounds awful but he said he just wanted the baby gone (she had an abortion) whilst still with her partner. But now this girl (I call her a bunny boiler) has left her partner of apparently 15yrs with kids also for my ex who she barely knows (to me thinking it was already on the cards of her leaving her partner)
She’s tried causing trouble with me and bringing my children into it (she got my number somehow) whilst she was still with her partner. The reason I call her a bunny boiler is because she’s interfered and also in a way blackmailed my ex into a rship that probably was not meant to be by saying she’s left her partner for my ex (which he didn’t believe)
He’s told me not nice things about her, basically told me she’s not attractive in so many words and said me and my friends would laugh if I saw her. Said he doesn’t give a shit about her either. Plus he’s not planning to take on her kids (she has 4) He’s told me it’s not going to be lasting long because she’s doing things he’s getting on to and she’s a bit weird. He’s let me kiss him and we’ve held hands.
I told him that I had been on a date (took your advice) to him saying “Oh his he your boyfriend now? I bet he’s a dick head and a prick isn’t he?” (Sorry for language) but he said that not in a nice tone and I took it like he was jealous. I brought that up and he said “I’m not arsed, I’m not arsed” but he clearly shown he was. He was trying to fish to see if our children has met this man (asif I’m going to when I don’t know him myself properly) and he knows that but just trying to fish like I said.
He also said yesterday that he’s not planning to live with this girl at all. Told him to be careful because if she’s going to give her number out to you on the first night, then rest assure she’s done it before and will do it again. He said he’s told her that ‘once a cheat always a cheat’ and he’s not even arsed if she did.

I just don’t know what to think. He obviously hasn’t got respect for her with what he’s told me, and let me kiss him, and we slept together once (I know I shouldn’t have allowed it) plus, I believe that trust is the main foundation of a good rship and surely he can’t trust her knowing she was cheating in the first place and plus he’s brought it up to her.
Oh and also, her mum is dying. So people have said that men can be weak (sorry) and he probably feels obligated to stay around a bit more.

I just feel so confused, hurting and just want our family back as one and enjoy our future together.
I hope I get that second chance.

Chris Seiter

November 8, 2018 at 11:37 pm

Hi Stacey!

I see a lot has happened and you have been thru a lot. But first of all, don’t hate yourself. Love yourself. None of us are perfect and we all can make plenty of mistakes and so can your partner. Best to focus first on your healing and recovery. Make use of all my resources on the site.

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