The Simple 2 Step Method To Get Your "Baby Daddy" Back

383 thoughts on “Here’s How To Get Your “Baby Daddy” Back”

Melissa Cook

April 22, 2020 at 12:47 am

Me and my fiance were together for five 1/2 years. We raised my son together (he’s not the biological father) who is now 5. This past year we found out I was pregnant, we’ve talked about having a baby before. I knew he was scared and nervous. I ended up losing my job and became a stay at home mom for the rest of the pregnancy. January 5 1/2 months pregnant he went to jail. I walk into bails bonds to get him out only for his girlfriend to walk in right after me. She claims she had no idea. (I’m sure she did)… She decided she was going to keep away. He gets out of jail and came home, knowing what has happened while he was away. I did what anybody would do while pregnant. I let my hormones and emotions get the best of me. I tried to make it work I cried, I broke completely down.. I made myself look pathetic.

Still he left. He said many hurtful things and left. He is now with this new girlfriend that he was cheating on me with. Living with her. Doing everything with her… He didn’t contact me throughout the rest of the pregnancy about the baby. He would only ask how I was doing.

I decided to break contact with him.

It’s been three months and I want my man back, my kids father. Im ready for him to come home. Or at least make him realize that me and the kids are his home…. The baby has been born and it took five days after delivery for him to know about it.

I contacted him to let him know about his son’s birth. He has contacted once in the past four days to check-in on the baby. His mother chatted with me over phonecall (whom I am very close with)(his family in 5yrs has became my family as well). She said he has broken-down and started crying telling her he keeps thinking about me and the baby…

Side note: he told me this new girlfriend has a part of his heart, that she’s doing things and makes him happy.( Can I win against this?)

Do I actually have a chance to get what was supposed to almost be my husband back?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

May 2, 2020 at 9:31 am

Hi Melissa, it sounds as if your ex doesnt know which he wants between you and the OW if you work on yourself to be Ungettable, and he starts to get a bond connection with his son he is going to see the benefits between you and her. You are going to have to do the being there method after you have completed the Limited no contact

Amber

April 19, 2020 at 9:45 pm

So, my baby daddy and I have had an on/off relationship for the past 10 years. During that time we had a couple of years out in which we both dated other people, he had a baby with another woman, I had a very short lived engagement. He left said woman as he couldn’t get me off his mind and wanted to make a go of things with me. Fast forward a year and a half and he left about 4 weeks ago, saying he just wants to be on his own but I am the best he’s ever going to find and he won’t do better, but he also said he doesn’t regret leaving and he’s happy he did? Do you think I should just give up and move on? I’m heartbroken.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 21, 2020 at 11:18 pm

Hi Amber, it is possible that your ex just needs some time alone to sort what ever he is feeling out. Make sure that you work on yourself and do not reach out to him allow him to come to you if he wants you. If you feel that you are at a point where you need to date casually rather than spend your time waiting. Dating will also push your ex to think if he wants to be with you he needs to do something about it.

J

April 16, 2020 at 5:26 am

My sons father and I met back in 2015 he was rebound relationship at the time and I ended up getting pregnant. We had only know each other for about 4 months before boom were parents. I went through my pregnancy by myself because around the time I found out I was pregnant he found it his dad had stage 4 brain cancer. He met our son when her was 2 months and 2 days we always have had this constant flirty fighting relationship. When it’s good it’s good when it’s bad it’s bad. He dated a girl when I got pregnant and broke up with her when my son was 3 and we got together literally a month afterwords and made it official official he confessed he’s always wanted me and how sorry he was that he was scared and he proved with his actions he truly was. We ended up getting engaged 3 months after getting back together he even gave me his grandmas ring. I’m the first girl he’s ever asked to marry him he says I’m the live of his life he’s cried so many times over me and the thought of losing me well the last couple months have been hard and when we were in a break I connected with an ex and told him the next day then told him to get over it cause he’s hurt me worse. Since then our relationship was like walking on egg shells. I will admit I didn’t fully know what o wanted due to the stress but I cut my ex off when o seen how bad it hurt him. We fight and tell each other we’re done but we live together. Long story short we’ve been broken up for 2 weeks now. He broke up with me after I went through his phone and seen he got into a relationship with a girl from his job and has been hooking up with her. He told me he doesn’t love me anymore and doesn’t see a future with us together. He’s not contacted me for 4 days he doesn’t check on his child and he blocks me to unblock me then blocks me back if I make a comment about his priorities. Despite the bad this relationship was real we were truly Bestfriends some can even say soulmates. We built our lives with each other. And I don’t feel in my body that we are done just that he’s hurt. And I’m lost because idk what to do I’ve cried every night I can’t sleep or eat normally. I miss him but how do I get him back how do I show him I’m truly sorry and that what we had and our family is worth it. How do I know if he still loves me and if he’ll come back? How do I get his attention like I once had it

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 25, 2020 at 5:04 pm

Hi J, so I would suggest that you follow a 45 day NC and start reading and working on yourself using the articles on this website and then follow the being there method. It is hard and upsetting when these things happen but you need to try and learn how to control your emotions around him so that you appear that you are happy and content when he visits the child or collects the child always look good and positive

Donna

April 15, 2020 at 1:04 pm

Hi
I read the article and it turns out I’ve been doing pretty much everything suggested which makes me feel abit relived LoL but I’m a bit confused with the way my ex is being towards me.
So we my ex(who’s also my baby father) and I split up about a little over a month ago& my automatic response was the no contact rule (unless he initiated a conversation or had a question about our son) and even then I’d only reply to his questions regarding our son. But lately he’s been saying he misses us both & I replied saying that he shouldn’t feel obliged to say he misses us both , since I know he really only misses his son as that can give th wrong idea (saying that he misses us both meaning he misses me too :/) and he said he meant it. Anyway his texts are now filled with heart emojis and sending his love to us both. I’m confused (please tell me if I’m reading too much into it lol) just cos he’s never been the type to send emojis in texts unless it’s with someone he’s seeing or in a relationship with. He also included in his text that he’s not talking to any females and always has time for me and our son. The way he’s texting language and over use of hearts and kisses emojis are throwing me off abit cos I can’t tell if he’s being sincere or if he’s just doing it to make me overthink etc. cos he’s well aware that I am talking to other guys (I still love him but I’m talking to other guys just to pass the time also to distract me from focusing on him since at the moment my focus is me and my son and our well being).
So basically am I overthinking it all or you reckon he’s being genuine?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 20, 2020 at 9:37 pm

Hi Donna, I think your ex may be trying to test the waters to see if he can come back to you. If that is something you want then start texting him little more often and see if his words match his actions. But take it slow to see how he reacts

Tish

April 15, 2020 at 2:47 am

My baby’s father left in January when our daughter was 8 months old. It wasn’t the first time he left, but sure seems like this is the final time. He cheated on me with his ex for 5 or 6 months of my pregnancy and decided that he wanted to give up his party boy lifestyle to be a dad 2 months before I was due because I told him that I was done chasing him around and that we are just going to co-parent. He changed over night and moved back in with me a week or so later. I asked him why he cheated and left me during my pregnancy and he admitted because everything was just so much and he couldn’t take the pressure. He was afraid of becoming a dad and losing himself, not being the cool guy anymore. Our relationship was great for about 4 months then we started running into trouble and our relationship became rocky again. He was trying to start a new, insecure job while I was out on maternity leave (I’m the bread winner) and I didn’t think it was a smart idea. We began to bump heads and started rebelling once again. My trust issues resurfaced and everything spiraled out of control. We tried to work on it, but couldn’t get it together. He constantly packed up his stuff, left only to come back a couple of days or a week later. Eventually our landlord got sick of the drama and banned him from returning home. We still tried to work on it living separated, but due to him returning to his party boy lifestyle I couldn’t keep a cool head. He eventually ended things with me and I knew it was because he was seeing someone else which, of course, he denied. Eventually I caught up to him and he indeed was talking to another girl (girl as in young, stupid and just fun). She really had no substance on me as I am a professional woman who has her life together and on a really strong foundation. Fast forward to now. We rarely talk if at all. He doesn’t see his daughter. He doesn’t contact me. I do the contacting and rarely get a reply. He only contacts me or is nice to me if he wants or needs something from me. I know he’s doing this because he is immature and felt too much pressure having to grow up and be an adult. I just want him to get his shit together and realize that he has to grow up and be a father. I want us to be together. I want my daughter to have a family. How do I get him to come to the realization of manning up and get him to come home and want to work through the challenges that we both need to face as individuals, parents and as a couple?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 23, 2020 at 5:50 pm

Tish, I am sorry but there is no way you can make someone grow up before they are ready. What you can do that is best for your child is co parent positively until he does mature, I would not chase him anymore, I would not reach out anymore. And when he does reach out to you unless its about your child do not reply to him. You do not need to do things for him, thats not what you are there for, your child is your daughter, you are not his mother. Children benefit from a happy single parent than two parents who are unhappy

Barbara Ortillano

April 14, 2020 at 7:08 am

My boyfriend and I were together for a year and 3 months then I learned i was pregnant with him. At first, everything was ok, since we really planned it. Then I had this emotional breakdown mid March when I repeatedly seeing him exchanging messages with girls lately. I confronted him and ends up that he wants to break from our relationship. Saying it’s not about the girls he was texting but his love for me is fading. That he haven’t really moved on from his past relationship that last for 6 years. I was a rebound. He tried but said he really cannot stay with me anymore. But he will take responsibility for the unborn child. His ex gf already have a family of its own now. And before we were always talking about our relationship status. Him overcoming his ex. So I’m confuse. There’s no chance of them getting back together. The girl is living in another country with her husband and daughter. I tried pursuing him earlier but he was being firm. I made a mistake telling our situation to his sister, because I think someone needs to advice him. afterwards I bumped on this site and using a NC for 18 days now. We are still friends on Facebook. He never deleted anything, i never post anything. But I’m afraid he’s also using NC with me.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 23, 2020 at 3:04 pm

Hi Barbara, I would say that your ex is possibly having a grass is greener situation where he is thinking the past relationship was better than what he has right now. I would complete your NC for 45 days and then reach out with the texting phase making sure that you are not watching his social media etc while working on your Holy Trinity

Kay

April 13, 2020 at 6:36 am

The father of my child left when I was about 3 months. I am now 8 mnths and we have not been serious since but have been in good periods where we talk a lot and then we would go days without talking. I gathered that he has someone in his life and I’m not sure how serious it is but we still have those good and bad periods and during our good periods we are intimate. I really feel like I should not be holding onto him but some part of me really wants to be with him still. Do u think we have a chance of actually being a family? How would the no contact work for a situation where the child hasn’t arrived yet ? I feel kind of low about the relationship we have at the moment but it’s hard to let it go.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 14, 2020 at 8:56 am

Hi Kay so you would follow a Limited NC where you only speak to him about pregnancy / baby issues. This can be hard as you are going through emotional and hormonal stages too. But if he does have someone else in his life then you need to read about the being there method too, also I would refuse to be intimate with him again until/unless you are officially back in a relationship just to protect your own feelings

Moya

April 10, 2020 at 2:02 pm

Sash here,
My baby daddy and I recently broken up and it was my call because he keeps cheating on me with random females and lying to me constantly.. he currently have a woman overseas which he disrespect me for a lot…. I love my baby father and I would love to build a family with him because I want my child to have that experience.. the baby is only 3 months and every day we argue… after breaking up with him I called him to reconcile the relationship and he didn’t seem to have any regret about anything that he did… he just kept saying whatever happens happened already what do you want.. what is it???? To my understanding it’s like he couldn’t wait for us to not be together anymore… I don’t even know if he truly loves me.. I’m basically scared and don’t know what to do.. any advice???

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 14, 2020 at 7:34 pm

Hi Sash, I understand you wanting to be a family with your child and the father. But if he is a person who is going to cheat on you and disrespect you then he is not someone you should be in a relationship with, and you should show that you will not accept that treatment. It would be better for your child if you and their father could co parent as friends and see that you get along even if you are not in a relationship. Two happy parents apart is much better than two miserable parents under the same roof.

Chelsea

April 7, 2020 at 12:16 pm

I am currently 8 months pregnant, my ex left me when I was 13 weeks, he says we will never be together again, he didn’t want our baby as he said we weren’t ready, now he is excited for the baby to arrive etc, we talk every now and then but the conversation starts from talking about the pregnancy or just checking if each other are ok, what does this mean? will we get back together? should I ask if he wants to give it another go when the baby is here or wait until the baby arrives and see what happens?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 7, 2020 at 10:58 pm

Hi Chelsea I would suggest that you follow a texting phase were you need to increase the amount you are speaking daily to getting phone calls and start re attracting him. He may have left out of fear of becoming a father especially if it was unplanned. I would suggest that you do not put pressure on getting back together within a deadline as you are going to create the rushed feeling and this is all about timing through this process

Kandy

March 30, 2020 at 12:37 am

Hi Me & The child of my father recently has broken up it was his decision we’ve broken up 3 times in 4 years our son is 7 months old and I caught him cheating about a week ago and I told him I hated him and that he’s never going to do right we talked and he cried and doesn’t normally cry he starting telling me how he’d try to do right for me and go to counseling and how he’s a bad father … & then the next day he says he doesn’t want to hurt me anymore And that He will never find another girl like me and that I’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever had and he loves me but don’t wants to be with me anymore I told him are you sure ? Because the last tome he left he crawled back in 3 days pleading and saying he will become a better man for me I tried to give him one last chance & he hung up Because he was working and texted me and said I just can’t do it … so I said okay when you miss your family again think about this situation because I’m going to eventually move on … then I got my things while he was working and moved me and my sons things out in another city I blocked him and everyone else he associates with from calling me at least for two weeks while I get my thoughts together the thing is I love him very much and want to be with him but when he made it clear he didn’t want me it’s like a weight came off my back and I was free …. I want it to work out but then again I don’t want to talk to him anymore but I have to Am I wrong for wanting to have no contact for a little while ?? I cry day in and day out but I don’t want to talk to him or about him or his parents I don’t even want to know anything about his personal life I feel like I wasted my time and how could someone just walk away from the loyal one ? I was the %100 loyal one but he gets caught … cries … say he will try … tell me he loves me … but then the next day tells me he can’t hurt me anymore he sends mix signals can I have your opinion on this ?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

April 8, 2020 at 9:49 am

Hi Kandy, I would say that the guy has been caught out he makes the promises to change when you find out and leave him but when he realises that he is not going to be able to follow through with those promises he apologises and is giving up the fight maybe. Or he is trying to to guilt you into forgiving him and letting this pass. If you want to be in a relationship with this guy then I do suggest you find a couples therapist to work through why he even felt the need to cheat in the first place.

Brenda

March 25, 2020 at 9:34 pm

Hello,
My ex and I had issues while I was pregnant with our baby because I got him cheating on me with his ex girlfriend who was also pregnant. I decided to walk out of his house till I gave birth, we tried working out things but he kept on seeing his ex girlfriend until she also cheated on him with another man but little did I know that he was already in a third relationship, this seemed to me like he didn’t love me anymore because we had all the chances to sort of differences but he still chose to move on to a third relationship where he is till date, he doesn’t bother knowing how the baby is or anything. I have tried the no contact rule several times but looks like nothing is working out, I really do still want him back, should I just give up?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 28, 2020 at 9:37 pm

Hi Brenda, if this guy has cheated on you and keeps cheating, doesnt bother asking to see his child or bother asking about his child. I ask, why would you want him back

Yuli Jimenez

March 22, 2020 at 8:21 am

Hi I don’t know what to do in this situation anymore. I just found out, well the puzzle pieces came together this month. The day of my baby shower which was March 2019 the last time I saw him in person, my fiance was already seeing someone else behind my back. When he was here he wasn’t allowing me to get Nestor see his phone. He got mad once and I asked what he was mad about he told me his friend the OW/co-worker told him what if the baby wasn’t his. I started to worry but I had faith in him. We were in a LDR. It never occurred to me, or maybe it did but I didn’t want to believe it. He was always telling me he loved me and missed me and I believed it. He told me no one could ever replace me, because no one will ever be like me they will only look like me but won’t be me. We always had on and off arguments which was out of my control because I was pregnant and I became more of an emotional baby which he couldn’t stand. Then came June 2019 o gave birth to my beautiful daughter. He never showed up, he was at work and he said they weren’t going to let him go. Thought by time he would show up, days past, months past. We facetimed most of the time it was always hot and cold between us. But then again it was long distance. He never told me when he was going to come. He claimed to of been working hard so he can support both me and our daughter. Then in the same month I gave birth he asked for paternity test. During the time in waiting to get my part of the test to do on my daughter there was a whole two weeks I couldn’t get a hold of him. Then to a surprise the OW/ co-worker texted me knowing Josh, seeking for answers playing like a friend, she asked me if I knew his current girlfriend And I answered that it would be me, she knew everything that was going on and about my daughter and everything I sent to him I was furious. I started to have a stronger suspicions I confronted him, even though He knew as he got my texts which he had in mute nor ever cared to text back. His mom confronted him about it too. He texted me saying he was sorry and he had a talk with her but did he really. He kept telling me he loved me and misses me, I chose to believed it all. Then finally the test kit came and he was panicking saying he loves me, I mean the world to him, ect, that his sorry. I was confused but believed it. I’m in love with him I couldn’t help but forgive him and continue being together, which was I thought. We still had rough patches. I thought after we got the results everything would become better again. Then I came upon the womens Facebook she had photos of them together, I was shocked and confronted to him and he got mad and didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t know why he couldn’t tell me. I kept asking him frequently when he plans on coming. He only told me excuses. Then I stalked Abit as I was curious she had more photos of them. I confronted him nicely but he was yet resistant he hanged up as usual. Before we would of always Skyped and he would talk about us and our future but then it became less. I didn’t talk to him for two days only responding when he asked about my daughter, then third day I called he was at work but he told me he loved me and we hanged up, Its March and it hits a whole year since I saw him in person. During the whole years A week ago I facetimed him the same day i mentioned earlier, it was night time, the talk started of nice, then he suddenly mute himself. At this time and point he was already settling down to his new apartment with his supposedly roommate the OW. I confronted him to tell me honestly what he wanted and if he still had feelings for me. He told me he loved me , he still loves me. Then I asked if his with the OW, did he move on. He got silent and looked away he said yes, I asked when it all started, he told me the day after he returned home from the month of the baby shower. He told me he didn’t want to talk about it until he was ready, I replied your never gonna be ready. He said he didn’t want to see me cry. I told him why, why does he keep saying he loved me when his with another, it’s not fair. He responds I do love you, and was getting furious. He hanged up. I couldn’t believe it, I had spent a year waiting for him to come get me, a year hearing him say billions of times he loves and misses and that I was his world, a year being a mother, a year loving him and having hope. I told him we needed some time to ourselves the next day I told my mom and my older sister about what had happened. My older sister confronted him and the ow through text. He had told my sister something else and the OW something else , and me something else. he was lying and telling different stories to each. Samee day she confronted him he texted me to talk to him, I didn’t reply. He then texted me in the morning after saying whenever I’m ready to listen to let him know, and that he would like to see his daughter and talk to her. His daughter he never once came down to see. I responded nicely as if I didn’t read what he and the OW said back to my sister. Told him he cane face time her but that’s all I want to talk about. I would like some space please. He then replied ok just ok , I then told him the time. He then said my time your time , you want space I’ll give you your space ok, I’m sorry (my name). I replied my time, he then said ok , I’m sorry. I acted as if didn’t knew why he was apologizing for. And said I’m confused why are you sorry, if your taking a rain check to the FaceTime that it was nothing to apologise for that it was ok, and thank you. He didn’t reply back. Today I was curious i saw the OW Facebook , a new post , pictures of both. Places me and him had been to as if he was trying to replace them. She posted saying it’s a year. A year already that they been together and I didn’t know or chose to ignore the red flags. He was smiling he looked really happy, pictures of them kissing, and again the places I had been with him.They got engaged on February 22 and living together. Hey he still told me he loved me during the whole entire year since my daughter was born and talking about the future. I don’t know what to think of it all. He had been seeing her and telling me this lies to my face. He seem happy without me and our baby who’s bout to be a year old. I’m left heartbroken Wondering if everything from actions and every little thing he told me was just all a bunch of lies. Did he really lead me on for the entire year? What do I do in this situation? Is the 45 days NC even apply to for this kind of situation? What do I do? Have I already lost him? Should I give up? Why did he do what he did? The OW can’t be a rebound can she it’s already a year she said in her post? Is it hopeless for me?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 29, 2020 at 10:16 pm

Hi Yuli, so if you want him back then you need to follow the program, but honestly I would read over what you have said above remove your emotion from the situation and realise this guy is not good for you, he is not being a good father and he is also cheating on you and the other girl. This guy sounds as if he has played games with both of you and has lied to the both of you. At this point I would focus on trying to get him to be a good father to your daughter, or walk away for good

Stacey

March 16, 2020 at 4:30 pm

I feel like I have an impossible situation. My ex left me 8 months ago and says he has been with this other girl for 5 months. However others have stated it was much longer as in work they flirted etc with each other.
He has now told me he wants to move in with her which just screams to me it has been going on longer than 5 months as they get a dog together, are moving in together and she is heavily involved in my kids life.

I don’t know what to do or how to handle this anymore. I generally believe he is gone for good and I need to accept that but don’t know how.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 18, 2020 at 2:44 am

Hi Stacey if you want to get your ex back then make sure that you understand the being there method. It can be emotionally draining if you are not full prepared to deal with this then take some time for yourself and then re approach your situation.

Janet

March 11, 2020 at 3:23 pm

I met the father of my son 5 years ago. He was dating his gf but had split up 2 month after I met him. We had sex and I became pregnant. One month into my pregnancy I called and told him but he had already made up with his gf. He was there to support all through my pregnancy and till birth. When Ryan became 2 he broke up with his long term gf of 8years and came back to me. We have been dating, had plans of marriage but I found out he was still communicating with his ex and had sex with her. When I confronted him, he admitted to it. Said he was sorry and that he couldn’t keep up with our relationship. That its been a struggle for him. He broke up with me February 7th. It hurts so much. I had dreams and hopes of being a one big family with him. He said he is back with his ex. Do I still stand a chance with him?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 12, 2020 at 1:59 pm

Hey Janet it sounds as if he playing between you both. If he has children with her too I would focus on how to co parent positively before starting the being there method and if you want to get this person back who is cheating and lying between you and her.

Chloe

March 7, 2020 at 5:03 pm

Anyone have any advice my ex walked out on me 5 weeks ago we have a 6month old baby together been together 6 years and there was no explanation he would always break up an get back together but this is the longest by 2 weeks! I tried no contact but we have a child together he keeps talking every 2-3 days about our child when he can see her …. I usually have people taking her to see him so I don’t have to see him although one day he asked if he can come he did we didn’t really talk I have now not spoken since as I don’t no what to make of this anyone have any advice ?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 9, 2020 at 9:46 pm

Hi Chloe so you can follow a limited no contact where you can see and speak to him but only about your child the rest of the time you need to remain in no contact for 30 days. As for him wanting to come to you to talk you are not going to be willing to hear excuses from him, unless he tells you he wants to get back together. But there must be a reason that you keep breaking up and getting back together so think of what changes you can make to let that happen, it also will take him to be willing to work on himself too

Clair Stone

March 4, 2020 at 11:17 pm

Where do I even start Haha, I am so thankful I have found this because its pretty much explained how I feel at the moment. The most difficult thing about my situation is my BD left me for someone else before I found out I was was pregnant, and then eventually because I acted the exact way you said he chose her again and again but the 3rd time I had to block him because his cousin gave me abuse over facebook and he didnt stand up for me.. so then after the 20 week scan he decides to contact me back and we talk and work things out but obviously hes going through a stage of breaking in and out of a relationship with this girl he left me for, then last week I was silly and we ended up sleeping together, he then 2 days later says to me he doesnt know what he wants anymore and doesnt want a relationship but still is in love with his ex, today it turns out there was another girl on the scene aswell who liked him but I dont know what’s going on so i think honestly I’ve been trying to figure out what to do and I’ve never searched for answers on google before and when I did I found this so what I’m worried about is the method still working even though I’m having to worry about losing him to 2 other women, worst part is that I’m finding it very difficult to control my feelings as I’m still pregnant and hormonal.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 16, 2020 at 6:58 pm

Hi Clair, I am so glad this article helped you! Remember that the main thing is that you and baby are good! The rest will fall into place

Sarah

March 4, 2020 at 10:08 am

Hi – I really loved this article. I felt like it was directed at me specifically.
I had my baby 3 months ago. Me and my baby’s father were living together. We were fighting alot then one day we had a big fight so i decided to take a break and go to my parents for a few days, but i did not break up with him. Then he decided to message a couple of his exes when i was away (one of whom he cheated on me with a long time ago) and the reason i know that is because i have his passwords. He got them to text him so i couldn’t see the messages. So then we broke up. Since then I’ve been trying to work things out with him but apparently he won’t stop texting his ex. His ex actually messaged me and told me they were just friends and she doesn’t want him back, however, they text non-stop and he hardly texts me. I’ve flipped out on him a couple times about him talking to her so now he’s “not sure” if he wants me back. He also has a lot of mental health issues/anger issues and alcoholism so he says he wants.to figure that out first before he decides if he wants us to be together.. I’ve been staying at my parents for about a month now while this has been going on. It’s been a hard month. I do love him and want him to figure his stuff out.. but he also refuses to get help, he says he can’t “talk to anyone”. Apparently as of last night he isn’t talking to his ex anymore because of what she wanted. I don’t know what to do. Apparently everything i do is wrong. Oh and he’s living rent free in my house and i pay his cell phone bill.. I am hoping you have some advice for me.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 7, 2020 at 8:20 pm

Hi Sarah… so you need to stop paying his bill… stop letting him live rent free in your house! If you are not together then you need to give him the cold shoulder and some tough love. Babys father or not hes taking advantage of you! You need to follow limited no contact where you only speak about the child and him having access to visits or time with the baby. Show yourself respect or you wont be getting him back any time soon.

Luleka Magadla

February 21, 2020 at 9:53 am

Hi.
My ex left me when i was six months pregnant because i was “complaining too much” about him not being around. Fast forward to when the baby was born; he was never there and started paying child support when she was 3 months after i prompted him too. I work with him in the same building. Hes on the 1st, im on the second floor. I see him when his coming to do admin with our clerk once a week, he just says hi and moves on with what he was doing. He’s never seen the baby face to face, only when i sent him pics he never requested. We had a savings club that we recently dissolved (there were 8 of us in the group) and he would only talk to me when he wants to find out details about the group, but strangely this week he asked me about the group (wanted to talk to one of the group members he doesnt have a number for, so he called him on my phone). so after the guy had put the phone down, he called again and said he doesnt know why the guy had put down the phone “thanks for your help” so i remind him that im getting out of the group (the group is dissolving), he he was the last one to get savings back. He says he remembers i told him this, starts telling me that “its a bad thing the group is ending coz it was helping everyone to save, he’s scared of joining a new group coz in our group we were all colleagues”. i just answer yes: he continues “the new place he’s found needs a bit more rent, it R2500, then there’s R500 for transport, that means its R3000 he needs to use per month, maybey if he stayed in town he could save on transport (I could have easily figured this out, so why is he telling me this, to try to seem interested, i said you must jog back from work to save on transport, and i say-oh, i thought you had bought a house in your area ), he answers all this with very detailed answers as though we were the best of friends, although we had a sour fight just the week before. Is there a chance of this guy coming back. What do you detect from this conversation.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 2, 2020 at 6:17 pm

Hi Luleka, so it sounds as if he is trying to be civil from your conversation however I would look at his actions if he does not want to see the baby, it says a lot about who he is as a person. I would follow the program if you want to try and get him back and look at the positives and the negatives of being in a relationship with him again if he can not be bothered to see his own child

Joy

February 15, 2020 at 9:50 am

Hi I need advice. We started dating 2006 and was planning to settle down cus he has been the only man in my life and first love, in 2018 I got pregnant and he came to my family for proper introduction of his intentions. I really didn’t move in with him but gave birth in my parents house, fast forward to December 2018, the mother kick against our relationship and say we can’t marry again. We both love ourselves but we can’t stay together since the mother is monitoring us. Now forward to March 2019 he started another relationship with a lady who moved in with him and now she’s pregnant.
Though I love my baby daddy and don’t wish for different father for my children but I practice no contact rules for him, though he come around to check his son and allow take responsibility. Now he do tell his friends that he truly want me back cus am better than the other lady but he told them I have not been picking his call or calling him like before. That he doesn’t know maybe am still interested or in love with him. Anytime he came to check his son I notice he always control his emotions but he didn’t bring the matter up with me.
What can I do because I still love him so much and I want a home with our son. I’m so lonely and sometimes longing for sex with him.

Can he still truly come back to me.
Can I still ask for sex from him though am doing no contact rules.
2. What about the pregnant lady living with him, can he still leave her cus he do tell his friends he can’t marry the lady that he still prefer me to the lady.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 17, 2020 at 8:48 pm

Hey Joy, so no you can not go to him for sex if you are in the no contact rule….. NO CONTACT = No Contact. No texting, No talking, No SEX! Nothing for 30 days in total. You do not reach out to your ex, and you do not reply to your ex if they reach out to you. It sounds more like your ex is playing games with you and the other woman. Learn your worth and work on yourself. What he is doing is using you both by the sounds of things

Amanda Fitzgerald

February 2, 2020 at 7:42 am

My ex boyfriend left my 6 month old son and I three weeks ago.
It was completely out of the blue. He said it was best for all of us if he did this as he has depression and is having thoughts of taking his own life. (He has been working 5am-9pm 5 days a week, and works 6 days a week. I asked him to reduce hours because I could see him burning out. On top of this his ex who he has another son with, has been making life really difficult. She messages us both with threats and continually tells us how ugly our son is and she hopes he drowns and so much more hateful things.) I use to get mad about it, even though I knew she was just jealous, until I could see it getting to my ex because he just didn’t know what to do. He thinks for everyone this is the best.
He has completely switched off and he is not himself. Family are begging that I try to make my way back in but I did that when he first tried to leave telling him we will do this as a family and can get through it. They want me to do this as he has made no contact with anyone since our son and I left. He messaged me two days ago asking if he could see our son.
Would this apply to me because I’m completely lost. I know if he was himself he wouldn’t do this. (He has not done it before. His first son was a one night stand and she is a lesbian!)

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 4, 2020 at 9:14 pm

Hey Amanda, it sounds as if your ex needs help right now so I wouldn’t no contact him, I would just limit the contact you have with him. While being an ex but the stable civil one based on how the other woman is behaving. He needs to seek Professional support for how hes feeling

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