The Simple 2 Step Method To Get Your "Baby Daddy" Back

383 thoughts on “Here’s How To Get Your “Baby Daddy” Back”

Elizabeth A

November 16, 2019 at 4:16 pm

So my situation is,
My ex and I moved in together one month into our relationship. We talked previously about wanting to start a family and when we moved in together, that’s all we did was try and have a baby. A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant. When he found out, he was so excited and he cried! Like tears of happiness. He would always tell me how excited he is to be a dad and that it was the only thing he ever wanted. He was an amazing father figure to my son (that’s not his) and loved my child. But after almost 4 weeks of moving in, he left me. Without warning. He always promised me he would never leave me, but he did. We planned our whole life together, talked about getting engaged, etc. We never really had fights, maybe two big ones but we got through them relatively quickly. That morning he was telling me how much he loved me. But he never came home from work. Then told me that night he’s staying at him moms. The next day, he came to our apartment with his mom to get his stuff out. He didn’t speak a word to me and blocked me on everything afterwards, including my number. He claims he still wants to be apart of the child’s life, but he also did tell me to have an abortion. These two things are confusing.. it was a planned pregnancy. I’m confused and I just want to be a family with him.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 18, 2019 at 9:40 pm

Hi Elizabeth, this is a lot of pressure to have to deal with in a short amount of time so I would assume hes gotten scared of the responsibility. Plus he obviously had the support of his mother if they have chosen to not speak to you. For now your main focus is getting yourself, child and soon to be baby on your feet and able to manage with out him. Eventually he may come back around to the idea of being a family and together again but for now you need to NC him, I know you are blocked but the fact you are pregnant he will more than liekly reach out when he gets curious to what you have chosen to do with the pregnancy

Danielle

November 15, 2019 at 9:50 pm

Iv been reading to see if I find a situation like mine but I haven’t so here it is
Met my baby daddy 6 years ago
We dated for 4 years and then broke up but still slept together and always hung out like best friends. I ended up pregnant, he wasn’t very happy at first but by the end he had moved in with me and helped out as much as he could but he was still talking to other females and I’m pretty sure still sleeping around. Anyways now our daughter is here she’s 2 weeks old and we’re still “playing house” he wants to move out eventually but said I could move with him. I want to do the no contact rule but we’re still living together. It’s been about two years that we’re officially broken up but we still act like a couple and everyone is always confused about why we arnt together since we get along so well. I would give it a try if I knew he wanted it too but I just don’t feel like he does. How do I kick him out when i still rely on him financially? How do I do no contact rule with a newborn?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 18, 2019 at 9:58 pm

Hi Danielle you can do a limited NC where you only speak about your child or bills etc. I would for now spend your time finding a way to not be financially dependant on him anymore. The fact you act like youre in a relationship but he is also talking to other women is the issue. You are going to have to directly explain how you are not going to be able to carry on while he is sleeping around. If he chooses to stay single then you need to go into a Limited NC

Rayna Hartman

November 14, 2019 at 4:20 am

My husband and I let a lot of stress take priority of our love life. We met got pregnant immediately, moved in together, miscarried-he has a chance to leave then but he stayed, adopted two dogs. We both had a child from another relationship prior to getting together. We were going to college throughout our relationship. Right before he finished school I got pregnant with our 3rd child and I was emotional so I left him feeling like the space would be great. We argued during the separation and then I returned by seducing him and being pregnant helped. I learn during our separation he had been with another woman and then we each had an affair before our daughters 1st birthday, we had a turbulent relationship. I graduated with my masters in May and due to financial disagreements I left a second time. I took our 3 children with me and kept them from him while I filed for divorce for 2 and a 1/2 months. I apologized-I begged, I claimed my love toward him. We dropped the divorce, however he stated he would rather work on himself and the kids instead of reconcile. She he wants to live apart he wants me to come back to the city where we had lived and I agreed. I think in a way was all a ploy to have me return to that area though when drunk he said that I would have to be in the same area as him to reconcile…he then said sober and drunk that there is no chance. He doesn’t want me to move in with him-he’s signed a 1 lease and has been dating. We have 3 kids together and he’s been the father to my oldest as well. I don’t want to be a single mother and I am desperate. I am working on myself but I can’t keep from talking to him. I am addicted to talking to him. I am so miserable without him because I deeply love him and finally recognize my faults.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 15, 2019 at 12:23 am

Hey Rayna, so as much as oyu dont want to be a single Mam right now you do have to accept that you need to give him some space (No Contact) And in that time you do need to find some inner Momma strength to make everything somewhat easier for your children to deal with the changes that have happened. You also need to read about how to do a Limited No Contact and the Being there method

Jennie

November 11, 2019 at 8:46 pm

Do i still want him back? That question is really hard to answer. Part of me want a family for my son and i still love him but i do know that he not worth it for me. I better off without him. I just hard to say than do it. Another part is i want him to see what he had done to our family. I want him to see his mistake and the mess he created. I want him to regret since who he think he is to talk to me like that. He kept telling me he choose to leave me and dont want to stay with me. I gave him a son n he treat me like garbage.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 12, 2019 at 8:26 pm

Hi Jennie, so yes it is much harder to make a decision like this when there is children involved. The best thing you can do is literally sit and think how are you going to be better parents for your son FIRST. And then if you and your ex can make the relationship work if you were to be together again. I do suggest letting him be single and you focus on making sure your son is happy with life with out father at home. Seeing you and your son happy without him around he is going to realise his mistake eventually

Jennie

November 10, 2019 at 7:58 pm

Hello,
Here is my situation. I married my ex for 6 years. We didnt have kid since he always gambler. We made us financial unstable. I finally decided to have kid with him after 6 years. Two months after, I gave birth to my son he told me he wanted a divorce with a reason i dont love him anymore. I told him ok fine since i dont want to force a person to stay with me. However, i found out he was talking to someone from other country. They were talking for while i was pregnant and claiming each other bf n Gf. Until now day he still giving himself an excuse because i dont love him that why he want to find someone to give him love. He still want to be friend w me and demand me to be nice to him. We always end up in an argument when we talk now. He say the way i think and act make him feel like he made the right decision. He think im too mean to him. He still claim himself as a nice guy and a good father. Now he come pick up the kid 1 a week. I was wondering should i talk to him again and have a family time together with him. Make him see what he is missing out as a family?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 10, 2019 at 9:26 pm

Hi Jennie, what you have here is a narcissist who can not see wrong in himself but will blame you for it all because he does not want to be the “bad guy”. Do you want this guy back? I do say stop arguing with him as it is not good for your baby to be brought up in that situation, you are better off just walking away from him and leaving him with the baby when it is his time with him.

Bryana

November 7, 2019 at 12:03 pm

My baby daddy and I broke up when I found out I was pregnant. We were on the verge of breaking up prior to finding out I was pregnant because of the way he started treating me. On finding out I was pregnant, we decided to make it work, spoke about our differences and decided to even get married before the baby was born. He was excited about the fact that he was becoming a father. he really wanted us to get married before the baby arrives to the extent that the baby focus shifted to marriage.
Hormones were flying all over the place, so asked him to let us just focus on the baby for now and worry about the marriage aspect after the arrival. We had an argument and I called off the relationship, he gladly accepted and asked that he be apart of the child’s life. I was so upset, I really didn’t want to end the relationship because I love him. On that same day of the break up I went back to apologise but he had already made up his mind it was over and there was no coming back to me. All efforts to get him back only landed us in having sex throughout the pregnancy.
The baby has arrived and he visited every single day throughout the first few months. Now he sees the child ones a week. He isn’t even attracted to me no more. For the sake of the child I try to make him feel comfortable when he comes over but that isn’t yielding anything. Is he just truly over me or there’s a possibility of a comeback?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 8, 2019 at 10:14 pm

Hi Bryana, so unless you are breastfeeding he needs to be alone with the baby for a while ( this is your chance of a break too) and you need to also show him you are not waiting for him to come back anymore. So I would arrange regular contact with access to the baby but you do not need to be around for this. He is just as much the Dad as you are the Mam. You not sticking around will have an impact on him too. Because he will wonder where you are going, who with and why do you look so nice. So make sure you keep yourself composed but always try to look your best too.

Brittany

November 6, 2019 at 12:03 pm

I am 8 months pregnant and have been on and off with my baby daddy for 2 years. Just last month he went to go see his other daughter and slept with his daughter’s mother. 3 weeks go by and all we did was argue so he moves out and says he doesn’t want a relationship with me anymore. Now I’m penciled in to be induced 2 weeks from now…I want to do the no contact to see if he realizes what he has done but don’t know if it’s the right thing to do. Should I allow him to be present for the birth of our daughter?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 8, 2019 at 10:50 pm

So, in this situation if you are happy for him to be there at the birth let him know the date – but that is it. Dont have a conversation about anything more than the birthing plan for now. Then after baby is born you can arrange what days and times he gets to come see baby etc. But you need to stick to a Limited No Contact when baby is here. You can read about all of this on the website

Vee

November 6, 2019 at 1:51 am

Interesting read. Not sure how much of it would apply to me… here’s my situation:

Me and my “baby daddy” were never in a relationship. We kinda just texted here and there for a few weeks until we finally hooked up and thus, creating a child together. He was absent for a while and now he wants to support and I guess co-parent. I can appreciate him finally taking responsibility! However… We never got a chance to really get to know each other and part of me just wants to hate him for leaving me alone while pregnant and the other part of me is still overly attracted to him. We’ve talked more in the past 3 weeks than we’ve ever talked before our son was even conceived… but it’s me initiating most of the conversations ever since he reached out.

How do I throw hints that I want to initiate a relationship and how do I get him to do the pursuing?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 9, 2019 at 1:27 am

To get him to be more open to the idea of a relationship with you, you need to do a push and pull theory where you flirt and friendly so he questions if he has you or not, and also having some social life where you are around guys who are possible love connection where he will get worried / jealous if they are getting your attention

Penelope

November 2, 2019 at 12:23 pm

I’m 12 weeks pregnant. My ex broke it off with me when we were in the midst of working out if we were going to keep it. We were going well before the pregnancy. After a month and a half of bad communication and not getting anywhere with our conversations, he said he didn’t think we could make it through this because “we are too different. And by “too different” he meant things like, he likes going to the pub, and I don’t. That sort of grasping-at-the-straws move. He asserted that it was “my choice” if I wanted to keep the baby, but that he didn’t see how that made sense because “how would you take care of it?”. When I asked him to, for a second, think of a realistic scenario if I wanted to keep it, then (since he had removed himself completely from the decision making process), would he want to be part of the child’s life or not? To which he responded, of course he would.

A couple of days later, we met up to have a chat with an abortion counselor over the phone together (this was scheduled weeks before as part of the “decision making process”). They never called. I told him my decision, that I’m keeping it and he could take all the time he needed to process it and let me know how little or not he wants to be involved. He broke down and sobbed.

I left and we haven’t spoken since except when he’s texted me once to tell me he’d told his mom about the split and that he’ll tell her about the baby in person; and another time to express his concern for my family back at home due to a natural disaster. I responded both times in short spurt answers.

We’re also both in our early to mid-30s. I still need to get my stuff from our apartment as I left immediately after we split. Do I update him on appointments? Or do I just keep from contacting him at all until the baby is born or something?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 9, 2019 at 12:53 am

So yes you keep him updated on appointments – but just text him telling him the date, time and location. It is on him if he is going to make an appearance the rest of the time dont speak with him. If he doesnt turn up but asks how things went just reply with basic information. (“Good”…. “everything is fine”) You need to do a limited no contact for at least 30 days, and then you restart contacting him as a friend and try to build up the connection as a friend first. It is going to be tough with your emotions and the things you are going to go through for the rest of your pregnancy but enjoy it as much as you can

Gummy bear

November 1, 2019 at 9:13 am

me and my “fiancé”/ baby daddy broke up this week, we have done nothing but argue and get under each other’s skin, he’s even gone to the extreme of blocking me on everything and emptying OUR bank account so I can’t get anything for our daughter. Is it too late to start the no contact rule? Do you think there is a chance after all we have both said of getting it to work again?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 1, 2019 at 11:04 pm

I would keep to a limited nc where you only speak about the welfare of your child. The fact hes withdrawn money to leave you with you is very low move on his part! It is possible to get him back but you need to follow the program proeprly and complete a 30 day limited NC

Amanda

October 26, 2019 at 6:31 am

Okay so…. my situation is a little different… I’m due in 3 weeks and still living with my ex.. he constantly tells me he wants me out… his family hates me and doesn’t want anything to do with our baby bc they want no ties to me… basically about 6 months ago I caught him talking to his other baby mama about meeting up and having sex and I was so hurt that I was absolutely hateful to him for about 4 months to the point I pushed him to try to kill himself. He hung himself and I had to cut him out of the tree after that he started slowly changing and not wanting to be with me… the last 2 months I have literally kissed his ass and done everything for him and it’s like the nicer I am the more he doesn’t want me…. he hasn’t done anything for our son either.. I’ve bought everything we have for him so far… like I said before though, I’m due in 3 weeks and still living with him but he wants me out ASAP. WHAT DO I DO? I’m so lost… please help!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

October 27, 2019 at 9:59 pm

Hi Amanda, I would suggest moving out and getting your own place as soon as you possible can of course with baby due any day now it is hard but you need to give you both some space as what you’ve just described is NOT healthy for you your ex or the children to live in. The fact you are sharing children is going to mean you will be seeing him again but right now the both of you need time apart and you need to allow him to heal. The fact things have gotten as bad as they did for him to take such actions I would suggest maybe focusing on getting him feeling healthy again rather than getting him back this is not a relationship that is going to work if he is feeling the need to take his own life.

Stacey

September 23, 2019 at 12:49 pm

Hello,

So I really appreciated this interesting read! I’m in a situation in which my child’s father is not involved as he should be. He has been in a legal situation with his probation for almost 2 yrs. He has never seen my child in person. He was not supportive during my pregnancy. My kid just turned 1. He has probably checked on her maybe 2 times on his own the other times were because I told him he doesn’t check on her. He’s now almost done with his legal issues or he may already be done. I have no clue of knowing bc we live 2.5 hrs apart. He didn’t call or text her to wish her a happy bday. I know she is only one but it’s the principle of things. Anytime I mention that he can’t care bc of his actions, he uses his past mistakes and current situation as an excuse but claims he still wants to be involved in her life. It breaks my heart bc my daughter is sooo intelligent. Anytime we’re in a public place and a male smiles or waves at her, she’ll say “Da-da” or “Daddy” and I know that this is just the beginning. Up until recently I kind of believed his stories but now I’m starting to think that it’s all just him messing with my head so he doesn’t make himself out to be a bad person. It really makes me feel crazy at times because I just want him to comprehend how much importance he should be in his kids life but I know I can’t force anything. I feel like I’m just at the end of my rope with him. I recently told him he won’t hear from me unless he contacts his child first. I’m just tired of the excuses and lies but I don’t want to push him away from his kid either. I guess I don’t have anything to push away though since he hasn’t been there for her anyway.
Mariah

September 14, 2019 at 1:44 pm

Hi Chris, I was really happy that I came across your article and I would say it’s a good interesting read. So I was in the middle of randomly searching on Google on “What to do when your baby daddy wants to be involved in your child’s life” it’s been a month since we broke up in the middle of my pregnancy. It was during my 5th month of pregnancy that he all of a sudden told me “I don’t want to be with you anymore” it was really a BIG QUESTION MARK for me why he suddenly said that. to make the story short – now I am still trying to heal myself to what had happened and to focus more on me and the baby on my belly weeks after the break he tryna message me saying that he hopes the pregnancy is doing well and that we need to talk about how things are gonna work when the baby is finally born. Well right now I’ve been doing the “No Contact Rule” ever since after we broke up and now he’s been texting me every other week cause he wanna talk to me about our son. What should I do? should I reply to his messages or just ignore him for now until he my baby boy is born and decide? I need an advice.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

September 15, 2019 at 12:50 am

Hey Mariah, so you would complete a limited No Contact as you need to make him away of the baby and pregnancy. Following the program but adjusting where you tell him the important things that he would need to know

Tennyline Limon

August 2, 2019 at 7:36 am

hello sir!good day!thank you very much for this advice..i am a single mom of 2..my son is 12 while my daughter is 1..they both have different father..but to be honest i fell inlove on my younger stage thats why my first relationship failed because we are both careless and irresponsible and i fall out of love the same time..but last relationship ive been through is really bad i cried to much, i beg to much, until now i was suffering..because of small mis understanding he left me broken..we have different nationalities and for now i decided to go home here in the philippines because i want to witness all the milestone that my kids achieving right and we both agreed on that..we plan for our future together he promised alot of thing but non of his promises is truth all lies..its been almost 1 month since he ignore me..even i of send the pictures and vedios of her daughter he just keep quite..so i decided to give him space and most of all give a respect to myself knowing that i failed once again..sir what else i should do to overcome this..
April

July 21, 2019 at 8:27 pm

Hi thank you so much for the advice you gave. So this might sound crazy but he it goes . So me and my childs father have been broken up for about 5 months now. Hes already moved on. Hes now talking to a girl that’s pregnant. The baby isn’t his she was pregnant when he met her. He posts about this girl almost every day it breaks my heart of course. After a month of finding out hes talking to someone else we meet up and talk. I told him that I’ve been seeing other people too (lying) lol. Well he starts to explain how hes sorry he made a huge mistake and he missed me and our baby. Im scared of jumping into his arms and allowing him back in. Because he still posts about this girl hes “talking to” . My childs father was also my 1st and only. So I’m trying my best not to fall into him again . I never felt this kind of pain before. Breakups feel like death. I’m afraid that hes going to cheat on me again . Or eaither I end up being a side chick. I want my family back . I just don’t think hes really ready for me. I’m not sure what to do right now.
Christy

July 16, 2019 at 8:19 am

Hey Chris, my baby dad and I got pregnant not planned. For the time of my pregnancy he wasn’t involved and I didn’t need him to. He was a jerk and didn’t want any part of that in my new life. About 5 weeks before our son was born, he contacted me and long story short he wanted to be a part of our baby’s life and MINE….. he’s always been a person to choose his happiness first always blaming others for his actions and reactions. We’ve broken up multiple times and got back together. One day he came back into my life after a few months and pour his heart to me, at that time I wish I felt the same. He was still the same person only difference is he was actually trying. I didn’t want to string him along I had gone thru way too much with him and felt I didn’t want to do it anymore. He got his feelings hurt by my honesty and went out and drank as usual and came home with tons of hickies on his neck…. I saw that and somehow we got into an altercation where the police was called. Pretty much I ended up getting full custody him with one day visitation in which he lost after the second time due to his reasons…. there was a one year no contact order. My son and I moved on. The day the no contact order ended he called and I was shocked. I didn’t even think I cared anymore. And hearing his voice brought back all the great memories we had… he told me he had changed and became a better person. I let him show me and I believed him. Long story short we were together again for almost two years. A lot of hard times it seemed the longer we went the worse it got. But no doubt he was a good parent. Not the best cus what first time parents are the best lol. But I saw he tried. Now recently we are back to that same situation again from almost three years ago. One day he snapped. The difference this time is that now he was denying me and threatening me. He was almost like a clown with no makeup laughing historically being so cruel to me. So now we will probably go another year without him being able to contact me or our son.

I just don’t get it. I know some things I could’ve done differently. And I know some things he can’t control. He came from a very fucked up family and I feel he projects that to our relationship. Still blames me for his actions and blames me for his reactions. Now I don’t know if I want him back but I am very good at the whole moving on thing and no contact lol. But I wanted to know, is it naturally for your baby dad to always have a little part in him wanting you? Always feeling that because we have a baby together I am somehow always his even if he moves on etc?

The first time we didn’t speak for a year it worked. Could it work a second time? Or it’ll only work the first time and that’s that.

He’s not a bad person he is actually a very sweet hearted soul but unfortunately thru his upbringing and type of life he’s brought up in, has taught him ways that shouldn’t have been his ways. In the end all I want is for my son to be happy. And even though I know that his dad and I are just too different some part of me always wants to keep trying. I just don’t know how anymore. I don’t know how to have him hear me when I tell him how I feel. Or to actually compromise. Or for him to stop blaming me for the crappy things that happen in life. In the small bit I’ve said should I even care to eventually try again? Obviously I’ll have an entire year to have the no contact but if he comes to me the way he did the last time should I even give him another shot? Or should I just always keep it professional and about our son? And anything he may say about him and I, I should just change the subject?

Now unlike other people. This also deals with custody etc. so it’s not just as simple as everything else.

But for some reason we always find ourselves back in each other’s arms, and for some reason even on the begining we’ve always Butt heads. But for some reason our connection is just so powerful that even our arguments are always powerful. We could argue about a penny and our sruguments would be so powerful that it would make the penny float. And it’s like that with our love. But for some reason instead of just ending things and being parents, every time this happens it’s always heated and in the most toughest hardest way to end things. Is this from him? Why does he always want to do things the hard way? Why didn’t he just listen to me when I said let’s just try to keep it out of courts and I want him to have a relationship with our son. Why is it he has to take things so far to the point it’s almost a competition for him to win? I don’t get it. Please help.
Cheryl

June 14, 2019 at 2:14 am

Hi Chris, I’m so grateful I came across your article. Do you have more on this topic and or success stories you coached? My boyfriend flipped when he knew I was pregnant. I didn’t find out until I was 2 month along because I was using pills and didn’t expect the baby at all. We dated for two years. We both think it’s true love. We work on career projects together and we are a perfect match there too. He didn’t want any more kids because he is dealing with a crazy ex wife who gives him a lot of problems for visitations to his two young kids. I had an abortion for this reason before and that’s when we started using the pill. But I still got pregnant. I don’t want to abort again because I’m 35 now. And plus I think the baby is already too far along to do such thing. I don’t have the heart to go through with an abortion. We had an argument in which I clearly expressed my wish to keep the baby and he stormed out. He left my apartment 2 weeks ago and I’ve been trying no contact. He hasn’t reached out and I’m feeling more and more difficult to go on with it everyday. Is no contact really my best shot? I can see the spark in his eyes when I showed him our baby ultrasound picture for the first time. But I think he’s so afraid. My heart is broken and I really wish he would come back to me.

Chris Seiter

June 14, 2019 at 3:42 pm

HI Cheryl…I know what you are going thru is hard – but things will improve in your life, despite what happens. I do think NC is the right medicine as he has some growing up and maturing to do and sometimes some time and space can help that along.

jackie

May 30, 2019 at 7:40 pm

my ex and i have been dealing with eachother for 9 years on and off. we have 2 kids together. we havent been in a relationship offically. he and i argue alot because of the shit he does that i dont approve off for example he ignores us, he’ll project our problems on the kids and ignore them as well because of how i reacted to something he did that shouldnt have been done. he told me while we were arguing that hes not inlove with me. then he started ignoring me after untill he brought money that he owed me after 2 months for my children late at night and tried to sleep over. he tried doing something with me untill he realized it was that time of the month for me so we started discussing things i do that he dont like and vice versa. he tried putting all the blame for our problems on me to the point he wanted to leave then said he loves me but isnt inlove with me and is gonna end up later on with his other babymother because hes inlove with her. i started crying then he started acting like he felt bad for me untill i told him to get dressed and leave then said i dont know why youre crying you have a million men after you.. then while walking away he wanted me to look him in the eyes while hes talking to me while i was crying and since i didnt he said for me to grow up. how can he expect me to not feel hurt after he told me hes gonna end up with another woman later on in the future. meanehile i basically wasted 9 years of my life taking him back always forgiving him and being the best person i can be to him and accepting shit i didnt wanna acceot but did out of the strength of not losing him for him to only end up leaving and coming back and doing right by us for a little while to only screw up again. i took all that for him to only now tell me that… whrn he left i expressed how i felt about him ending up with another woman when im the one who deserves him and i told him i deserve better and he told me that i do deserve better and that he hopes i find it.

what should i do… i want him back but want him to come back correct. i know i didnt go through all i went through giving him my all and having kids with him for him to end up with someone else that doesnt deserve him…
Jessia

May 21, 2019 at 5:08 pm

Hello my name is Jessica and my relationship with my baby’s father is very different. I’ve known him for about 7 years through mutual friends he was also my siblings friend we hung out but never had any intimacy, until I saw him again years later he told me was married getting a divorce and he had ugly marriage I knew him before his marriage happened& we ended up talking I had already had my first child from a previous relationship we had amazing sex it wasn’t a real thing cause of everything he was going through we talked for several months but I already knew him so he wasn’t a stranger and at one point I thought I was pregnant and turns out I wasn’t he was disappointed he grew a lot of love for me when we talked but I didn’t look at him that way his ex wife found out about me and was mad but how could she if they weren’t together he stayed at his own place and so did she they had a bad marriage so I stopped talking for him going back and forth to her and me I ended up talking to another man I knew I loved him and had a lot of feelings for this man I moved on from him so I ended up pregnant and was pretty sure that this other man I was previously with wasn’t the father the one I started talking to was so I cut all ties with the other one for me being pregnant and turns out I see my son and he has the other mans features I thought I was over thinking it but turns out it was actually his child and When I did tell him about a son he didn’t know about he was already 2yrs so he hates me knowing another man my son called dad had raised him and been there for our son that was suppose to be his life I was so torn between the 2 men my son who is now 4 knows who his biological father is and he loves the man that isn’t I feel so bad for what has happened the man that I thought was his father is not the best he was a good father figure to him but not the best to me causing a lot of arguments I left him and the biological father I loved and always thought I’d be with him and he was the one even tho I stayed with the other he wasn’t around so much so is why I never took him seriously he says he always wanted me for years he always loved me and I never gave him that chance and never cared to which was true cause I didnt feel that way like he did we got so close in the last year we were doing ok and we both wanted more kids together he finally got to spend so much more time with his biological father and him with his son I never gave us a chance until now I missed him and the amazing love we had made I grown to fall more deeply in love with him as he always had towards me but he can’t get over the fact that our son has the other mans name and how yhis is his only child he never got to see born or through this baby years or his first birthday I apologized to him so many times and not matter how much I did and do I feel like he doesn’t accept it nor does he have the other mans last name or did he signed the birth certificate I feel like he hates me for all that has happened he thinks I purposely did it to him cause of the marriage he went back to while we were first talking which was not true I didn’t know he was the father I wish I did know and knew when I was pregnant I last talked to him when I was pregnant but didn’t tell him I was cause I didn’t think he was a possibility so I cut ties like I said earlier in my story. My ex came back in my life looking for me when my baby’s dad and I were home having a great time together and we both such in a good mood I can still see that day how much we laughed and played until we heard a knock at the door he ruined it i didn’t answer the door like I wasn’t home! He asked me if I talk to him still and was I with him with watered eyes like he wanted to cry he knew I always have been before so it’s not like he doesn’t know about him or they don’t know about each other I told him no I wanted him our family together i was so mad at the fact I wanted nothing to do with him cause he wasn’t my baby’s father he tried to ruin us so We wouldn’t be together I want to be a family with him so bad I love him very much I miss him but he had other women he talked to I asked him why he did when we spent months together he practically stayed with me and he said I never gave him a choice to choose who he wanted I always shut him out when he wanted us and I did cause I didn’t know what to expect after what happened in the beginning I felt like he wasn’t being true to me it was hard after he went back to ex wife in the beginning as he said that’s the biggest regret he has in life cause we were talking and that’s why I left before I even got pregnant by him now I love him so much and I miss him a lot I want him back home with me I miss everything I’m so hurt I feel like life got me why did this happen i don’t what to do anymore I know he didn’t completely cut me out but after what happened with my ex we haven’t talked much if we did it was an argument I just wnat to get along and be a family like we planned to
Desire

May 7, 2019 at 6:05 pm

Hey Chris.

I’ve been dealing with my baby daddy for 9 years on and off.
We’ve been through alot but always end up back together ( not officially ) just involved. That’s the problem we always have. Hes with me one moment then the moment i leave his sight hes a different person and it annoys me. I tell him how i feel with long paragraphs and he gets annoyed by lashing out or just ignoring me. I love him but sometimes need reassurance because all we’ve been through. We have sons together. Hes done alot of wrong and i sometimes bitch at him because I wish he can be more affectionate toward me not only when were together physically but also when hes not around. I accused him of being with another woman and the argument got heated to the point he hung up on me and texted me that he cant take my shit no more and to let him go because hes not in love with me anymore. next day he texts me at 5 am but was asleep so never got back to him until the next day i just wanted to forget about our argument so i wrote to him like nothing happened where he told me hes walking away from this whole situation as a whole and cant do this with me no more. i cried and cried and he just didn’t change his mind. I forgave him for everything hes done for the past 9 years but sometimes feel hurt and need reassurance. hes hurt me plenty of times and i would be upset but always forgive him but he cant forgive me for my reactions and try understanding me and where i’m coming from. Instead he now wants to walk away. I left him a few messages later on that night trying to see him for we can talk and no response, I don’t wanna lose him but wish he can hold me on the pedestal i deserve to be held on after all I’ve been through for and because of him. and another thing He hasn’t taken me out in years…

2 days later i write to him asking him for money for our sons being that he hasn’t given me anything since March due to a problem he had but looks like hes fine now and he ignored me till i told him to not project our problems on our sons and their needs that he doesn’t even have to see me and can bring it to the hallway and he give it to his older son and that im trying to avoid conflict and conversation with him as much as possible for i can move on and be in peace because i deserve that after 9 years of nothing but betrayal and hurt. he then said ” well i dont have it right now and don’t know when ill have it” i just ignored him.

I wanna do the no contact rule now since i left him on read but what effect do you think it will have on him. How can this whole situation be fixed. I just wish he can understand me like i always tried understanding him each time he wronged me. and really try giving us a chance and not be this way. What should i do!!!?

Please Help!!

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