The Simple 2 Step Method To Get Your "Baby Daddy" Back

383 thoughts on “Here’s How To Get Your “Baby Daddy” Back”

BellaB

January 17, 2018 at 6:59 am

Well after that new yrs txt I ended the convo. A wk later I get When can I see you to give you money for the baby? & When can I see you? TXt I waited about 5 hrs to respond saying I think it would be best to let the courts arrange visits & payments now. He agreed but was curious as to why i didnt just invite him over. He then asked about baby’s teething /Baby pics but then said again when can i see you to give you money for the baby. So I haven’t agreed to any meetups until the court date which should be soon. Are these I miss you txt frm him or administrative txt?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 18, 2018 at 7:43 am

Hi Bella B,

if he keeps asking that in the next days, it does look like he misses you but again, don’t rush things.. That’s your chance to show that you’re not easily swayed.. So, stick to saying that it would be better to wait for what the court will say.

Carolina

January 7, 2018 at 3:02 pm

Hi Chris

I was never in a relationship with my baby daddy but we have history as in we have been friends for 14 years in between those years we would come in and out of each other’s lives. It would just be casual sex between us every time we saw each other we never ask questions about our personal lives.

We have a four-month-old boy but during my pregnancy he was never involved he would call me once a month maybe skip a month or two but I never took the initiative to call him because I had no reason to practically I did everything myself which I don’t mind because I always vision myself being a single mother. One thing for sure though is that I never doubted him that he would come into his sons life once he was born.

What throws me off the most is that we talk to each other every day even if it is for 30 minutes and hour or two and we just talk about what’s going on in our lives him mostly about work I don’t mind it I like hearing about his work just like I’d just like I like to think he likes to hear about mine. I’ve always had feelings for him but I’ve for a long time now have put them aside obviously for our child I’m pretty sure he knows that I feel something for him or that I’ve always felt something for him but we don’t get into that. I guess what I’m trying to write is do you think down the road he would come around someday in life to feel the same way I do about him in some sense because we get along so well. My mind and heart tell me two different things but I go with what my mind tells me it’s more realistic. I don’t even call him but I do send him pictures of his son daily he’s the one that calls me every day and when he doesn’t he apologizes I personally don’t expect much of him because I never did during my pregnancy I was fine with that I didn’t want to see myself as those women that cry and put themselves down because the baby daddy is not involved I was quite the opposite I had to be . When I told him I was pregnant his words were “it’s selfish to bring up a child without a father” I lived by those words every day while I was pregnant and in a way I still do just to make sure that I shouldn’t expect much of him. His sister is my longest friend and sometime she tells me what’s wrong with you guys and you guys have a relationship but in opinion we have a relationship as quick as coparents. i’m also happy with that.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 9, 2018 at 9:08 pm

HI Caroline,

Congratulations on your baby! Ok, I’m going to be frank. You’ve let him treat you in a way that lessens your value in his eyes.. You let him think it’s ok to sleep with you even if you’re not together, it’s ok for him to talk to you like he doesn’t know what you feel about him and if he doesn’t know it, you’re allowing yourself to continually let him hurt you by continuing to hope that he’s going to change his feelings.

It’s been how long since you have been fwb, and you even got pregnant but it didn’t change right? I’m not saying it’s not ever going to change, but you’re not doing anything different too, so, how would the situation change right?

You have to respect yourself first, whatever or however other people treat you, because if you don’t respect yourself, then other people definitely won’t too.

It looks like he’s willing to be a father but that doesn’t mean he wants to be your partner in life.

Start with going to therapy. Get professional help first because I’m assuming you might be going into post partum or not, but it’s definitely emotionally tiring taking care of a child.

Love yourself first. Set up your life in a way that you’re just co-parenting with him.. When you reach the point that you still have feelings for him but know you can carry on life with him just being the father of your child even if it hurts, then slowly start building rapport and attraction again. And don’t sleep with him again if you’re not officially together.

Caroline

January 7, 2018 at 10:34 am

Hi Chris

I was never in a relationship with my baby daddy but we have history as in we have been friends for 14 years in between those years we would come in and out of each other’s lives. It would just be casual sex between us every time we saw each other we never ask questions about our personal lives.

We have a four-month-old boy but during my pregnancy he was never involved he would call me once a month maybe skip a month or two but I never took the initiative to call him because I had no reason to practically I did everything myself which I don’t mind because I always vision myself being a single mother. One thing for sure though is that I never doubted him that he would come into his sons life once he was born.

What throws me off the most is that we talk to each other every day even if it is for 30 minutes and hour or two and we just talk about what’s going on in our lives him mostly about work I don’t mind it I like hearing about his work just like I’d just like I like to think he likes to hear about mine. I’ve always had feelings for him but I’ve for a long time now have put them aside obviously for our child I’m pretty sure he knows that I feel something for him or that I’ve always felt something for him but we don’t get into that. I guess what I’m trying to write is do you think down the road he would come around someday in life to feel the same way I do about him in some sense because we get along so well. My mind and heart tell me two different things but I go with what my mind tells me it’s more realistic. I don’t even call him but I do send him pictures of his son daily he’s the one that calls me every day and when he doesn’t he apologizes I personally don’t expect much of him because I never did during my pregnancy I was fine with that I didn’t want to see myself as those women that cry and put themselves down because the baby daddy is not involved I was quite the opposite I had to be . When I told him I was pregnant his words were “it’s selfish to bring up a child without a father” I lived by those words every day while I was pregnant and in a way I still do just to make sure that I shouldn’t expect much of him. His sister is my longest friend and sometime she tells me what’s wrong with you guys and you guys have a relationship but in opinion we have a relationship as quick as coparents. i’m also happy with that.
Caroline

January 7, 2018 at 10:33 am

I was never in a relationship with my baby daddy but we have history as in we have been friends for 14 years in between those years we would come in and out of each other’s lives. It would just be casual sex between us every time we saw each other we never ask questions about our personal lives.

We have a four-month-old boy but during my pregnancy he was never involved he would call me once a month maybe skip a month or two but I never took the initiative to call him because I had no reason to practically I did everything myself which I don’t mind because I always vision myself being a single mother. One thing for sure though is that I never doubted him that he would come into his sons life once he was born.

What throws me off the most is that we talk to each other every day even if it is for 30 minutes and hour or two and we just talk about what’s going on in our lives him mostly about work I don’t mind it I like hearing about his work just like I’d just like I like to think he likes to hear about mine. I’ve always had feelings for him but I’ve for a long time now have put them aside obviously for our child I’m pretty sure he knows that I feel something for him or that I’ve always felt something for him but we don’t get into that. I guess what I’m trying to write is do you think down the road he would come around someday in life to feel the same way I do about him in some sense because we get along so well. My mind and heart tell me two different things but I go with what my mind tells me it’s more realistic. I don’t even call him but I do send him pictures of his son daily he’s the one that calls me every day and when he doesn’t he apologizes I personally don’t expect much of him because I never did during my pregnancy I was fine with that I didn’t want to see myself as those women that cry and put themselves down because the baby daddy is not involved I was quite the opposite I had to be . When I told him I was pregnant his words were “it’s selfish to bring up a child without a father” I lived by those words every day while I was pregnant and in a way I still do just to make sure that I shouldn’t expect much of him. His sister is my longest friend and sometime she tells me what’s wrong with you guys and you guys have a relationship but in opinion we have a relationship as quick as coparents. i’m also happy with that.
BellaB

January 7, 2018 at 6:54 am

I thought maybe my response was wrong. And he had never said anything that polite to me since the baby had been born. Bute he has not said anything g since so I’m back in NC. I doknt k ow what else to say to him. And I figure we can communicate through the courts for now. He doesn’t seem to feel any remorse for walking out on us. Doesn’t seem like he wants to see our daughter very much either. Any advice ?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 9, 2018 at 8:47 pm

Yeah, I think that’s the better option to communicate with him for now.. just be civil and indifferent.

BellaB

January 4, 2018 at 12:20 pm

Hello again i posted not long ago when i had decided to move on or move on w/out moving on. My baby daddy had not initiated contact in the 4 mos since he’d left. I reached out twice by txt after nc in Nov and got no response. So I stopped. On new yrs eve I get a txt “I wnt to see my daughter” we speak different languages so we rely on txt. The next day I responded. You want to see her but you do not take care of her. he responded just tell me wht time and where . He doesn’t know where I moved and I don’t want to tell him. I didn’t know what else to say so I didn’t respond. I sent him a an old pic of him & our daughter& then a recent pic of her. then he thanked me for taking care of her. I am confused now. Did I do something wrong?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 5, 2018 at 11:08 pm

Hi Bella B,

why did you think you did something wrong? Because he thanked you? Maybe because he can see the baby is healthy in the picture so, he’s thanking you.

angel

December 17, 2017 at 5:45 pm

Hi my baby dady and i we had fight while i was pregnant…the cause of the fight is me bcos i told another guy that the child was his…and now he rejected the baby and he left us …now he have a new gitlfriend but i still want him back..he said he doesnt want anything to do with me

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 7:00 pm

Hi Angel,

have you proven to him that it’s really his?

Jacqueline M

December 15, 2017 at 7:07 pm

Hi amor

I have a 1 year old with my ex who also has another 1 year old with his ex such a complicated situation. When we started dating he was single and when I was 6 months pregnant I found out his ex was 5 months pregnant. Anyways long story short he’s had the bad habit of coming back and forth with me and his other babymother. I feel like in the past I didn’t handle some situation like I would’ve done now because of my over heated head and heartache. We only talk and communicate strictly about the baby because we are going thru court and he admitted to trying to work things out with his other babymother but also tells me that when we are together after a while not really seeing each other and speaking that he misses me and to be completely honest in the past 3 months I failed twice in the sense that I let my emotions take over and I slept with him knowing everything that’s going on and him admitting to trying to work things out with his other baby mother. Do you think I have a chance on getting him back and making it work? Or am I really stupidly in love and should just move on?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 18, 2017 at 5:44 pm

Hi Jacqueline,

If he’s also trying to work things out with the other girl, if I were you, I would move on..

BellaB

December 6, 2017 at 3:11 am

I totally understand that. However his anger toward me & his personal issues shouldn’t be an excuse not to help me support his baby. The deadbeat dad behavior is a huge turn off. I am taking Chris’s advice and moving on.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 10, 2017 at 4:44 pm

Ok Bella, we understand and I’m proud of you of your decision

BellaB

December 4, 2017 at 6:41 am

hello Amor
I listened to the podcast you recommended and i figured I’d stay in NC from here on out. I I have reached out to him twice text since NC ended and got no response either time. He no longer asks about our baby or offers any financial help at all. Ive seen him twice since the end of NC. Once at the courthouse where here behaved extremely civil toward me. As soon as he saw our daughter and I at the courthouse he ran straight over to us and I almost thought he was going to kiss me. He backed off and I pretended not to notice. He couldnt wait to take our daughter put of the stroller to hug and kiss her. He spoke to me respectfully, not like someone that he despised. I was shocked. But i behaved civil toward him. Neutral and unbothered as i always do. I dont know if he was putting on a show in the courthouse but he was suddenly rid of his horrible attitude toward me. A few days later i ran into him at the paternity test office, although he was scheduled to be there before me. He seemed back to his old self. Angry with me. He shot me a cold disapproving glance and ignored me so I ignored him. I didnt want to attempt to speak to him with his old weird negative attitude. Again he couldnt wait to hold our baby. He did not want to put her down to get swabbed for the test. The office had to tell him to leave. He waited for us outside to pick our daughter up again before I left. After receiving confirmation that hes indeed the father, he still hasnt reached out to me or offered any help, much less showed any concern for our baby . Yet when he runs into me hes this “loving father” for 5 minutes. I am continuing with my self improvement. I post publicly eventhough he blocked me. Went on a few dates. At 8 mos post partum I am in better shape than I was before I conceived. And my daughter is doing well. I am however weary of his strange behavior. So Im guessing NC is best. A few friends of mine said they’d seen him these past few mos at my old club. Looking burnt out, depressed, angry. Drinking alone. Not trying to pick up girls. Just there. However, he has not expressed any remorse or anything at all to me. So i assume his behavior has nothing to do with me. Am I missing something here? Anything else i should be doing to cope?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 5, 2017 at 4:16 pm

He probably behaved like that because he was in a courthouse and he was going to see his daughter..and also, he may be angry at you but that doesn’t mean he will be with his child too..

Regan

November 26, 2017 at 6:05 am

Hi,
Just wondering if this at all applies if i am the one who started an argument which resulted in him leaving — didn’t want a pet and he did and went and got one without consulting with me. He said some pretty harsh things to me, and took the animal and left. Wouldn’t it make more sense for me to apologize?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 28, 2017 at 1:57 am

Hi Regan,

yeah, try to apologize first.. the question is, are you going to accept the pet?

BellaB

November 22, 2017 at 10:46 am

Hi Amor
i can see my post here now
sorry about the multiple posts
after 2yrs i dont know exactly why hes so angry at me.
when we met i was working in a club and a few of his friends were interested in me. so for a long time hed insist i was interested in them. i was not. i thought maybe thats why he was so angry at me. he would tell me to bring girls from my club home for him. id refuse and he would laugh. i never knew how serious he was about that but it hurt me. hed reject me out of nowhere without explanation. me working in the club caused tension so i went back to regular jobs. he would still get angry & insist i didnt really love him. i told him that i didnt want him to stay in contact with any girls from the club that i left. no facebook contact with them…nothing. hed claim i was being ridiculous and controlling but it made me uncomfortable because when we met hed say if i left him hed replace me with one of them. so on and off, hed reject me & then take me back. a pattern. when i got pregnant he was happy but he wasnt. the rejection pattern continued throughout my pregnancy. when our daughter was born he insisted he wanted to be a family. but after a few months i could feel him pulling away. i did what i could to hold us together but i could sense the rejection coming. again i told him to cut off contact with the girls from my old club. he ignored me. he kept saying hed leave because i didnt trust or appreciate him. he got angrier. and i continued to beg him to let the past go just as i did. for our family’s sake. he got angrier. he started to ignore me and our daughter more. then one day he got mad about something menial and started yelling at me. im sure he picked a fight. he left us, angry, and said it was all my fault.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 24, 2017 at 3:58 am

It looks like his anger to you is just an excuse so he can keep doing whatever he’s doing.. Check this one:
EBR 056: My Ex Boyfriend Cheated On Me Multiple Times… What Do I Do?

BellaB

November 10, 2017 at 3:49 am

ive posted several times but my posts seem to always disappear. my ex bf of 2 yrs left our baby daughter & I 3 months ago. we had trust issues because we met when i worked at a club. he would come around when he wanted to see our daughter for 10 minutes at a time. he was mean to me, wouldnt leave much money for the baby before hed take off for another few days. i got tired of this and filed child support. NC for 38 days. i saw him at my old club a few weeks ago. but i ignored him . i still want him back. is there anything i can do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 13, 2017 at 12:27 am

Hi Bella,

I answered your previous comment in another blog post.. I’m only wondering why is he angry?

Shelly

October 13, 2017 at 2:29 am

My Ex & I always had problems & he was always mean to me. When I got pregnant he was great but had his off days. After I had my baby he went back to being terrible. He was mean to me in public & would walk out if we argued & would leave for a day then a few days but he would stop by to visit his son after work but left to go back to his parents. Days turned into weeks & eventually a month or longer. Now he’s gone after a huge fight. His mother has been so mean to me even getting in my face in my home with my baby in the same room & he said nothing to her. I think he has other things going on but he is convinced I’m the problem when I’ve done everything to fix things with everyone. We are going to court at some point but he’s playing games & always tries to use our child to get to me. He wants to visit whenever he wants but weekends he’s always a jerk & takes off fast. If I don’t let him come by he says I’m keeping him from his kid so when I say he can he comes & is a jerk sometimes. I wish things would change & he would wake up & realize what he’s doing & losing but he seems to think it’s a joke & laughs at things that have happened. I ignored him for a few days & he flipped out. I want him to be the one upset about what he’s losing & I can’t seem to get that to happen. He acts mean rude heartless & lies about everything. He denies everything he does after he does it & refuses to admit he does anything wrong or apologize. He only cares about taking our child to his mother because she doesn’t want me around when she sees my son. Very odd & uncomfortable. He sees nothing wrong with it & refuses to realize she’s a huge problem & he is too. I want him to be the one upset about what he’s losing because I did nothing wrong & he will not admit he screwed up. I need help

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 13, 2017 at 7:04 pm

Hi Shelly,

You can’t control other people.. That’s why you need to have standards..The more you want them to change for you, the more you’re giving power over to them.. Let him be a father to your child but stop expecting him to change..Move on.. Focus in yourself and in your life on how you can improve yourself for your child and mostly for yourself…

Innocentia

October 12, 2017 at 6:51 pm

Hi
My baby daddy and I ddnt real break up because nobody told the other that its over but he is ignoring me and wants nothing to do with me. Am currently pregnant for his baby but he never care about me or the baby. The most painful thing is that we planned having the baby together but now he doesn’t want anything to with me. He once told me we should take a break and I was fine with that but the I saw him with the girl she cheating with and that’s when I commited suicide and he hates me for that. And because his family now knows about the pregnancy they told him to take care of me and he must marry me but he told me that he feel like he’s forced to do things so he’s not freely in loving me. I dnt know what to do I really love the guy and I really need him in my life

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 13, 2017 at 5:32 pm

Hi Innocentia,

You have to get professional help. DONT commit suicide again. Get a counselor or therapist for yourself and your baby.

Anna

August 10, 2017 at 5:44 pm

I broke up with my ex-boyfriend for 3rd time .Because his brother attempted to rape me.And his brother wants to prove me characterless in front of my ex-boyfriend. Because his brother wants me but I am not interested in him.And I didn’t said anything about this to my ex-boyfriend And everytime I broke up with him I had NC.And when I texted him for apologies he texted me back as if he don’t know anything about break up.And I was busy in getting admission so I was unable to have proper conversation with him after that because i replied to him that I will talk later.And now when my no contact of 58days is over I texted him and he not replying and he has removed me from his whatsaap so that I can’t see his status and last seen.He is ignoring my text …But I wanna thank you because everytime I have bad moments in my relationship you are always there to help me..And it really works.May God bless you.

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 11, 2017 at 2:00 pm

the first right step, is to tell him and to tell your parents what he’s brother tried to do to you. Do that first.

Emma

August 10, 2017 at 5:41 pm

I broke up with my ex-boyfriend for 3rd time .Because his brother attempted to rape me.And his brother wants to prove me characterless in front of my ex-boyfriend. Because his brother wants me but I am not interested in him.And I didn’t said anything about this to my ex-boyfriend And everytime I broke up with him I had NC.And when I texted him for apologies he texted me back as if he don’t know anything about break up.And I was busy in getting admission so I was unable to have proper conversation with him after that because i replied to him that I will talk later.And now when my no contact of 58days is over I texted him and he not replying and he has removed me from his whatsaap so that I can’t see his status and last seen.He is ignoring my text …But I wanna thank you because everytime I have bad moments in my relationship you are always there to help me..And it really works.May God bless you.

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 11, 2017 at 2:00 pm

the first right step, is to tell him and to tell your parents what he’s brother tried to do to you. Do that first.

Monique

July 30, 2017 at 3:02 pm

My bf and I were together for 3yearsn we have a 5 month old daughter together. So after the baby we started arguing over stupid things he would call me a liar because I would lie out of fear when dealing with male confrontation and I was trying to change that because I wanted him to take me seriously and consider fixing things . He claimed to be emotionally detached from me. It got to the point where he wanted the baby and I to move back to our home town where both of our families are states away. He tried to say he loves me but somewhere he started to fall out of love and didn’t see forever with me anymore that we weren’t connected. Just two months before this we were looking at engagement rings. We decided because I didn’t want to fly by myself we would fly up together for the holidays and he would fly back by himself. This whole time he’s been cold and saying things throug anger to hurt me. So I found a way to leave next month instead of 4 months later. Now he’s making it seem like it was my decision to leave with her and that he didn’t say all those things to drive me away that I misheard him. I want him to realize what a mistake this all is and for him to come back. Idk what to do.

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 31, 2017 at 3:32 pm

Hi Monique,

Follow the advice in the article below while you still live together and then continue nc and follow the advice above when you have moved out..
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

Monique

July 5, 2017 at 4:13 pm

How can I do the nc rule if we live together and I’m a stay at home mom, we decided to start our friendship up to make our relationship better but that was before I stumbled across this article. Now I’m not sure if that was the right thing to do

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 5, 2017 at 6:38 pm

Hi Monique,
Check this one:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

Monique

July 5, 2017 at 4:11 pm

How can I do the nc rule if we live together and I’m a stay at home mom

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 5, 2017 at 6:37 pm

Hi Monique,
Check this one:
EBR 027: What To Do If You Live With Your Ex Boyfriend

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383 thoughts on “Here’s How To Get Your “Baby Daddy” Back”