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383 thoughts on “Here’s How To Get Your “Baby Daddy” Back”

  1. Amber

    November 6, 2018 at 1:24 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I was doing really well up until a few days ago. I did everything that you had suggested and it started to work! My baby daddy started acting really needy but he is also in a very difficult place emotionally at the moment and I ended up giving in to his neediness and we ended up sleeping together and now I feel like all that hard work has just gone to waste and I’m not really sure where to go from here? Can I just start all over again or is it too late for that do you think? Any advice would be much appreciated!

    1. Chris Seiter

      November 6, 2018 at 10:43 pm

      Hi Amber…sometimes these breakups go thru phases of hot and cold. Just give it a little space and then revisit.

  2. Abby

    October 31, 2018 at 10:08 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I was in a relationship with my ex for one year ,this is what happened while I was nine months pregnant I realised that my ex was cheating on me..he also had an intoxicating problem he would drink alcohol very much to a point that I decided my mother should try talking to his mother..maybe she could talk to him and he would listen to her.By that time we were living together.The opposite unfortunately happened with the in laws being opposed to me and creating a bad story so that my ex would leave me and so he broke up with me two weeks to my delivery date.He said he won’t get blessings from his family if he stayed with me .Right now my baby is 3months old and he had told his family that he wasn’t sure the baby was his so he demanded a DNA test and refuses to provide for the child I haven’t talked to him for almost a month and a half now.I still love him how can I get him back?

    1. Chris Seiter

      November 1, 2018 at 2:49 am

      Hi Abby!

      I am sorry you are going thru so much struggle. Keep the focus on your healing and your child. Those things will give you strength. Taking a break from him for a spell is probably a good thing.

  3. Marissa

    October 31, 2018 at 12:45 am

    Thank you Chris! Btw I noticed the first few days of mc he messaged me talking about the baby but initiated it every time and was very positive so I have hope for the future with mc and us going forward 🙂

    1. Chris Seiter

      November 1, 2018 at 3:11 am

      Hi Marissa!

      Your welcome. That is good news. Thinking good thoughts for you!

  4. Marissa

    October 30, 2018 at 12:28 am

    I’ve been mc because we have a kid and I think I messed up about 3 days in by texting him about something not related to our child. :/ He started the convo and tabout his work schedule and when he’d have the baby and I was surprised he didn’t seem to have the dates of a cruise we had planned together off. He said he wasnt going but I assumed he’d change his mind as he had changed his mind before. I apologized for previously not letting him see his daughter (the reason he said he’s not going) and expressed my surprise and no reply :/ Do I start mc over again?

    1. Chris Seiter

      October 30, 2018 at 2:02 am

      Hi Marissa!

      I don’t think you need to start over completely. Just pad it with some additional days that you believe would be appropriate.

  5. JoyeM

    October 20, 2018 at 11:08 pm

    My baby’s father and I knew each other for almost a year before we dated. We then got pregnant about 5 months after. He was so happy about becoming a father and we were in a really good place in our relationship. Even right after having the baby, we were very happy but things started to change between us. Around the time out baby was 2 months old there was strain in our relationship and it felt like we were 2 roommates that had a baby together. There was a few weeks of us being in a rough patch and I decided that we should get on the same page, get back to “us” and go on a date. He had different plans in mind, wanted us to break up and live separately because he feels neglected and is no longer in love with me. I went the NC route suggested and a week later, he said he missed me and wanted to work it out. We were together for a few days and he then tells me that he really can’t be with me and he’s going to move back out. At this point, I don’t know what to do.

  6. Jazmin

    October 11, 2018 at 4:23 am

    Hey so my baby daddy and I were together for 5 years on and off and in between we had a child. I can’t say he was a bad father because he loves her and will do whatever he has to for her. I cheated on him first and ever since then we’ve been back and forth cheating on each other. I can’t lie and say I was right or an angel because I have done some crazy things to him like cut up his clothes and slashed his tires, because I found out he was talking to other girls. I really don’t know what to do anymore he takes care of our child as much as he can I think with us being separated. Throughout the years though he rails me back into a confusing game where he wants to be in bed with me but doesn’t want a relationship. I don’t want to keep being “played”. I want a real relationship as I am pregnant with his second child now. Can you please help me.

    1. Chris Seiter

      October 11, 2018 at 4:34 am

      Hi Jasmin!

      well, none of us are perfect..thats for sure. Its learning what we can from the past and pushing it forward.

  7. Jessamine

    September 27, 2018 at 2:59 am

    My ex bf and I have a child who is a year and a half and we’ve been together for 2 1/2 years. We got pregnant after dating a few months. We had problems communicating, mostly on my end because I never learned how to from my family. We lived together and my ex left when our child was a few months old. He stated we didn’t communicate right and he wanted to focus on himself he didn’t feel like himself and just left. I was devastated. He came back 2 weeks later saying he was wrong he felt better and wanted to come back. I took him back and everything was good. Through the relationship I was the financial and emotional supporter in the relationship. He was a good bf but not a good partner in raising a child. I was doing everything and felt alone and I was compromising anything I could so that we can move on with our lives as a family. He wasn’t doing that saying he was afraid to lose himself again. I brought up living separate lives and he agreed to break up. I was so sad and devastated again. I just wanted him to step up not take the way out. We have been broken up for a month and I was so angry and sad with him and now I let it go but because i love him. I was so tired of being angry and now he tries talking to me like we used to. But it’s short conversations. It doesnt last long but it’s nice and it makes me miss our relationship. He says he doesn’t want to date for a long time. He wants to focus on himself and his goals and our daughter. Which is good. He seems more involved now than before stating he’s so sad but our daughter is his ray of hope. I want us to be together and I miss him but he seems to be keeping me at a distance.

    1. Chris Seiter

      September 28, 2018 at 3:10 am

      Hi Jessamine!

      So things seem to be improving, except the distance part. If things don’t improve in the weeks to come, consider a different approach.

  8. Claire

    September 25, 2018 at 4:19 am

    Hi, I was with my partner for 5 years and in that time we built a house, got engaged and had a baby. Our baby is now 20 months old. My ex left 4 months ago unexpectedly. Our best friend died 3 months before and he wasn’t coping. We were arguing and becoming toxic during the grieving process. Up until the night he left he was telling me how happy I made him and how he couldn’t do any of this without me, told me that if he had to struggle with anyone it would be me. He was constantly every day telling me how much he loved me and our family and this is what he always wanted. He even made a wedding song playlist the night before he left. He woke up the next morning, we got into an argument and he packed his stuff and went. Said we couldn’t be together anymore and give him time and space so he could sort himself out before coming back and fixing our family. In this time he’s been gone he’s got into a relationship with someone else. He speaks badly of her, and keeps denying being with her to everyone but she says differently on social media. He tells all his family he still loves me but we can’t be together. Am I stupid for still holding onto hope for my family? Or should I be moving on?

    1. Chris Seiter

      September 25, 2018 at 9:14 pm

      Hi Claire!

      5 years is meaningful in my book. It helps set some traction down, though the times you guys engaged in toxic fighting is hurtful to the relationship. I know his behavior is very upsetting, just abandoning you and your child like that one level. I think you should implement NC in practice it the way i teach in my program. You find information about it in my eBooks and on my site. But having an ex recovery plan going forward is critical and that is what I specialize in.

  9. Britt

    August 1, 2018 at 12:11 pm

    Hey my name is Brittany, I have a 9 month old son. Me and his father did live together before he was born and shortly after splitting in April because our relationship was toxic! We already ended the relationship while staying together because he says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me, that we should just co-parent but even though he says that it seems like he still wants something with me because when something goes wrong he’ll say we could’ve worked it out but now I’m just back to the point where I don’t want to do anything with you! So we were starting over trying to build our relationship back up to be in a relationship and it was going great for like 2 months but we had an argument and now he’s back to saying he doesn’t want anything to do with me but literally the same night he said that he was saying sometimes he sees us getting married but then he starts to think about the past so now he says he just wants to keep it about our son. What do I do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      August 2, 2018 at 3:32 am

      Hi Britt!

      I think you need a break from each other you should consider NC because it doesn’t seem he appreciates you enough. Having an ex recovery plan is not just about trying to get him back…but its taking care of your own healing and recovery first. I now he is all over the map about what he is saying, so give him a chance to figure out what he wants thru NC. The last thing you want is investing in toxic relationship if he can’t be more certain about the future with you.

  10. Christee

    July 30, 2018 at 12:04 pm

    Hi
    I was with my twins father for a year. And we’ve been separated a little over a year. We made a year two months after our daughters were born. The relationship started off amazing, yes we had bumps in the road but the good outweighed the bad. Cheating was never a factor. After the girls were born he lost his job and couldn’t seem to get another one. This was when the problems started, because I felt as if I was doing it all by myself. Borrowing money to help buy diapers and doctors appointments, and I felt abandoned. I began being mean and pushing him away, and he desperately wanted the relationship. He began to not even look for another job, and moved out of state and didn’t tell me. Then one of our twins got really sick last year and had to have two major surgeries, and the tension was real between us because I didn’t want to see him. I felt abandoned again. It took some time but we began being cordial, and tried to start co parenting.At the beginning of this year he expressed how he wanted us to work and how he wanted to be the guy from when we first started out. I didn’t know I still had feelings for him until he expressed his, and I realized that I wanted my family. Only to find out he had moved on and there was another girl pregnant for him. He said he didn’t know if it was his because the timing didn’t add up and he didn’t want to make any moves with me until the baby came and knew for sure. The baby is now here and is two weeks old, and he sent me a picture of it asking what I thought. I told him I wasn’t sure because it didn’t look like him, or have similarities to our girls or his son, but he needed to get a dna test to be 100% clear. We recently had an argument and he told me he loved me but he didn’t want any bs or get his heart broken again. And now I’m confused on if he wants to be back with me or just want to be with the other girl and just co parent. Please give me some advice on what I should do.
    Thanks

    1. Chris Seiter

      July 30, 2018 at 4:06 pm

      Hi Christee….i can see why you would be confused. It seems he has chosen a path the leads away from you for now. Can that change? Possibly, but my advice is to focus on your own healing and recovery needs and look forward to other paths you can take that bring you fulfillment.

  11. Lisa

    May 13, 2018 at 8:24 pm

    Hello. I’ve known the father of my 9 month old son for 21 years. We met when we were teenagers. He lives in a different state than me and our son. He tries to visit but I have to make all the plans and pay for the trip. He doesn’t really call or try to video chat that much to see the baby either. He says our son is too young to even remember so he feels like he doesn’t need to see him as much and he’ll build a bond with him soon enough. I don’t agree, I think he ahould always want to see our son and be in his face whether in person or in video chat. He hardly talks to me but can talk and flirt with everyone else on Facebook and Instagram. When I confront him about it he gets very angry, curses me out and ignores me. I do the no contact rule to pull away from him and it works but then he’ll send me a text or call and tell me he misses and loves me, wants to see our son and tells me I can’t ever get rid of him because we have a son together. Why does he treat me like this when I have been nothing but nice to him? He tells me he doesn’t want to be with me as far as a relationship and that we will always live separate lives, but as soon as he comes to see our son, he wants to sleep with me. What can I do to break this cycle and make him step back and realize I am the mother of his son, I should be someone important to him and also, will the no contact rule really work in my situation and HOW will it work with him always texting and calling like a maniac when I ignore him? Please give me some insight. Thank you.

    1. Chris Seiter

      May 13, 2018 at 9:25 pm

      Hi Lisa…these are great questions you have asked. I think you defined the issue. You are both caught up in this cycle and your ex seems to want everything his way, yet won’t offer any commitment. Living far away, only complicates things. And on top of all of that, he is not making much of an effort to bond with his child, making feeble excuses. Does he want a divorce? This living relationship is dysfunctional. What can change it? I honestly am not sure because based on what you said, you ex is all over the place with what he says he wants. But actions speak louder than words. He chose to not live with you and seems to insist that he doesn’t want a relationship. I guess he just wants his freedom, but guilt and possessiveness seems to rise up a times, influencing what he says.

      I think working toward a future where he has a relationship with his son is important, but you may want to take some time and reflect on how much more of your emotional self you wish to invest in this man.

      I am uncertain as to whether NC will help with this situation. Maybe limited contact

    2. Lisa

      May 14, 2018 at 5:15 pm

      Thank you for your insight Chris, I’ll give limited contact a try and go from there.

  12. Maria

    May 6, 2018 at 6:26 pm

    Hi I was in a relationship with my son’s father for 6 years, I found out that 3 of those years he was cheating with another girl and that he a may have fathered her daughter. We argued about it and I realized he was not leaving this girl so I left and ended up in a rebound relationship. I ended the rebound relationship and I started talking to my baby father. However he found out that the same girl is now pregnant again and this time he is positive that it is his child. I stopped talking to him but I can’t get him out of my mind because I love him so much. What should I do?

    1. Chris Seiter

      May 6, 2018 at 8:40 pm

      Hi Maria. I think you should create some space, to the extent that is possible given he is the father to your son. A form of limited No Contact. But do this for yourself, so you can focus on your own self recovery and regain some perspective about what is important to you. It is not unusual for people to go through an addictive stage regarding their ex. There are chemical/hormones that essentially flood us with many competing thoughts. Consider picking up my ebook, “The No Contact Rule Book” as it is a comprehensive, terrific resource that will describe how the whole NC process works and provides a lot of self recovery tactics you can tap into. Also, you ought to consider joining my Private Facebook Support Community (about 1500 women in it now) in which there is a lot of synergy and people helping people. Just visit my website Menu/Products link to learn more!

  13. Gabby

    April 22, 2018 at 11:40 pm

    Hello I was in a serious relationship with my ex we were together 3 years and have a 2 year old son together . I noticed he didn’t like when I said what time to be home . He broke up with me 3 months ago right after we broke up he says he loves me he wants to be with me soon and now today he switches up and said he only wants to worry about our son nothing else and maybe in the future we will be together . What does this mean should I just give up ?

    1. Chris Seiter

      April 23, 2018 at 12:19 am

      Hi Gabby…3 years is a good amount of traction, so I certainly wouldn’t give up. But you can have your space and focus on those things that benefit you and your child Having a child in the picture should create a sense of responsibility on his end to make efforts to make things better. Its unclear what it all means as I don’t know enough bout your situation. Messages are conflicting from him. But as time goes by, he should get in touch with what he truly feels and wants and communicate with you clearly Going forward, focus on your needs and healing. IF you are looking for a blueprint to optimize your chances, all consider my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro which acts as breakup blueprint (available via website Menu/Products link).

    2. Gabby

      April 23, 2018 at 12:37 am

      So if he’s saying maybe in the future does that mean a good or bad thing

    3. Chris Seiter

      April 23, 2018 at 5:25 am

      Hi there…Yes, “maybe” means, “I don’t really want to talk about this right now, but I am still open”.

  14. BellaB

    March 26, 2018 at 12:48 am

    Hello again
    Well, we are about 2 months into building rapport and now i am backing off. At first it seemed that he was going to accept that we were not going to have sex any time soon after being on speaking terms again. I wanted him to focus on bonding with our daughter instead of having sex with me. He was helping out more as a father but it seemed like when he helped me out with anything at all, he was thinking we would have sex after. He started begging for sex which i refused. I told him i needed time, and i wanted his respect. He tried talking me into getting back with him/moving in but i refused. I know its too soon for that stuff. He insisted there had been no other women at all since he left me. I didnt respond to that. Im afraid hes putting on an act to get what he wants from me. Recently he became more affectionate. That wore me down a little. We messed around/made out a few times about a week ago but we didnt actually have sex. Hes gone cold now. Cranky and rude. So i ignored his txt yesterday. I video called him today so he could say hbd to our daughter. But we are not speaking again. We usually get together once a wk for his visits with the baby but i said no today because he was so rude to me a few days ago. Feels like hes trying to get in my pants more than co-parent. Any suggestions?

    1. Chris Seiter

      April 3, 2018 at 1:25 am

      It’s pretty common for him to “try to get in your pants” rather than co parent. It’s a fine line. I never recommend sleeping with a man to get him back. What you can do is demand indirectly more investment out of him.

  15. Lizzie

    March 25, 2018 at 9:15 am

    Hi, I’m going through this tough spot so my baby daddy & I were so happy since I found out I was pregnant but at around 6 months that all started to change (currently 6 months pregnant). He’s divorced with a kid but he never bothered to look or fight for her. I’m hoping with our baby it would be different like he promised. So we came on a trip to Mexico but since we got here to his hometown he started being indifferent & distant with me & I didn’t know what to do. Long story short, he told me he just wanted to be friends because he “wants to be single for a while” & I asked if he was gonna start dating before our child was born, I’m currently pregnant & I thought it was rude but he said no that was the last thing on his mind because I’m pregnant that he just wanted space. Things just got worse from there he wanted to send me back home, he said he was gonna stay involved with me but only about the baby. Every time I would ask him why did he change his mind so quickly if we were better than great he said it’s not you it’s me. I assume he needs time to reflect things over but I can tell he still has feelings for me even though he says he doesn’t. Anyways we currently live together & I just wanna know how to deal with this & how to get him back & work things out before the baby comes. Please help me out!

    1. Chris Seiter

      April 3, 2018 at 1:15 am

      Ok, we see this a lot on our private facebook group.

      What has gotten the best results has been finding a way to get him to move out or having you actually move out.

  16. Amber Diaz

    March 14, 2018 at 11:56 am

    I was with my babydaddy for 2 years, we had a roller coaster relationship, that it tore us apart and we eneded up taking a break, it was his decision, well during the break he would kiss me and tell me he loves me, but when i would ask shen the break was over he would answer with “idk i need time, space and to think about stuff” so i left it, well after we talked about how we felt two days later i told him it was best to be single and he said to do what makes me haply so i did that, i didnt bother him like i would usually do, i would wait till he texted me about our dauggter amd that was the end of the convo, well he came to see his daughter today and he told me he misses me so much, and he misses everything, he told me he still loved me, and could keep his hamds away from me, he was just hugging me and everything, i gave in cause he cried and he keeps giving me mixed signals like he. Really showing he wants to be with me , he loves me, i can see it, he even said it would be good for the baby to see both her parents together sometimes while visiting and that we can still do stuff as a family, but he still says he not ready for a relationship, but he keeps showing me relationship signs he even called me babe, and i tild him this was the last time to do that and he said i know because if we keep doing this while we are single it wont help us move on and i told him “i agreed” but he keeps saying you never know we could get back together so idk he confusing me , he keeps showing me signs of having a relationship but says he’s not ready, so what does that mean ?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      March 15, 2018 at 3:31 pm

      Hi Amber,

      How long have you been in a break and do you still have sex with him?

  17. BellaRose

    March 13, 2018 at 6:40 am

    My baby dad and I were in such a great relationship , almost perfect. We found out I was pregnant and he was amazing for the first 6 months. Eventually my “hormones” became to much and we broke up. I broke up with him to be exact, but I want him back. He now wants to be single, doesn’t want a relationship and says he would have to ” want it ” to get back together. He says he likes to be able to do what he wants whenever he wants without someone nagging. We’ve been broken up for almost 3 months now and I’m due next month. He says he’ll be there for our son .. but I want him to be in a relationship with me too. Anyway I feel like he’s enjoying this freedom / party life so much that I don’t think he’ll come back. He tells me he isn’t moving on and for me not to move on because then he wouldn’t want anything to do with me unless it has to do with the baby. Is there any hope for me? I’ve been faithful and loyal still even after the break up. Please help I’m so depressed.

  18. Nikki

    February 20, 2018 at 10:02 pm

    So I am in a really complicated situation with my Ex Boyfriend. We jumped into a relationship immediately after I got out of a bad relationship. I was depressed and he had liked me for so long that he didn’t care and wanted to help me. We rushed into dating and getting engaged right away. We have broken up 3 times as of now but I am pregnant. The first two times he left he used the reasoning that I was too emotionally unstable and he couldn’t be with me until I got help. I got the help I needed and he came back for about two months. Proposing to me again I asked him multiple times whether he truly wanted this. He claimed this is all he wanted, to be a family with me and this baby. He accompanied me to every doctor appointment and things were going well I thought. On Sunday, Feb 18, 2018, he left again. Saying our relationship had not gotten any better but also said I was progressing a lot. He told me he was depressed and finally took the ring off my finger and left. Since this was the 3rd time hes left, I told him that this was it. No more playing these games. I then asked him if he really wanted our baby to be raised in and out of court and have a very confusing life. He said there was no other way. I let him walk away. I have not reached out since and I am so confused and I need help. He stopped following me on all forms of social media and has not reached out to me. I am too hurt to reach out and I really do not think he will reach out first. What should I do? Should I move on? Should I stop inviting him to all the appointments and just raise this baby on my own until he proves he can be a dad and not run away? The really sucky thing is that my biological father did this to me when I was a baby and I spent the most of my childhood wondering why my dad didn’t love me. He is doing the same thing. If you can give me some advice I would really appreciate it. Everyone in my life hates him now so they cannot be objective.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 21, 2018 at 12:24 pm

      HI Nikki,

      you can follow the advice above and check this one too:
      How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If You Are Pregnant

  19. BellaB

    February 1, 2018 at 9:22 am

    I was advised by my attorney to set a visitation date for my ex with our daughter a few days ago. It went well but my ex suddenly got very handsy. It caught me off guard I thought he was moving in for a friendly hug that I was ready to reciprocate. Instead he started trying to feel on my butt. I pushed him away and said No way, I figured it was a bit much for our first meet up. I didn’t want to seem like a skank letting him feel all up on me so soon. And i refuse tonsetrle for a friends with benefits thing. Also, I want to convey the fact that I want respect now. I feel cheated out of that from our last relationship. He tried touching it two more times before the visit was over. Playfully but still I wasn’t amused. Again I pushed his hands away. The next day we met up for his payment and half an hr into out meet up he got touchy again. Overly sexual. I almost compromised myself and gave in. Instead I said “look if that’s what you want from me, you’ll have to make a lot more effort.” He backed off and few mins later subtly asked me if I still wanted him. I didn’t respond because I wasn’t sure how to. Later on that night I texted don’t take this the wrong way but I’m not your property and I don’t owe you sex, I deserve effort, love, respect. I want to set an example for our daughter.”
    He didn’t reply but now when we txt he seems to be coming at me a lot more seriously. Nicer maybe. He is doing everything he can to help with our baby now. He sent me a txt recently “I will always be there when you need me”. I’m not sure what to make of that. Any input on what’s going on now? Where i should go from here?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 7, 2018 at 11:43 am

      well, that’s a good outcome.. Some men get angry and controlling after hearing your standards but it looks like he respects your.. That’s very good. It will be easier for you to build rapport slowly.

  20. Becky

    January 26, 2018 at 12:11 am

    I’ve been with my child’s father for 14 years off and on. When things get rough and he’s afeaid I’ll hurt him he takes off. He always says it’s the last time and that he’ll never be with me again but then he’ll ask me to come over, we sleep together, and gradually we end up being together all the time. This has happened multiple times. He left again in November because we were in a fight and he said we weren’t together, so I had seen an ex at the bar (who he hates) and had a drink with him. He seen us there and lost it. He asked me to marry him, be together, that he loved me and wanted me in his life forever. A week later he said he was done and didn’t even like me and that I annoyed him. He’s asked me to come over a couple times since and I did but then I found out he was talking to a girl from his work (they both claim they are strictly friends and that is it) and I was mad and freaked out. Now he goes back and forth and says we’ll never be together or ever talk again and then he changes it and says maybe we can be friends in a couple months and the next day he says we could never be friends, he misses me, but we aren’t compatible and doesn’t want to be friends or ever together again. He’s really wishy washy on everything he says and we have went through a million things together in our relantionship. Is there a chance he’ll come back? And what do I do to want him to come back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 29, 2018 at 11:25 am

      Hi Becky,

      aside from the advice above check this ones too:

      How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back

      This Is How To Make Him Trust You Again

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