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3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

  1. caroline

    August 25, 2017 at 10:05 pm

    My ex and I broke up four months ago after a two year relationship. I found out I was suffering from bipolar disorder and I guess lack of maturity for being four years younger than him and I could tell I was really starting to hurt him. We both agreed that we should break up so I could get better and so could he. I’ve talked to him maybe once a week ever since the breakup to check in on him, but he always says he resents me, though he still has some good memories about me and wants me to stop bothering him so he won’t lose those. I just found out yesterday that he has been dating someone for about six weeks and my heart fell to my stomach. I can’t help but wonder if he loves her or thinks she is better than me. I also wonder if, since I have to move to the same city that he lives in in a year, he would see me more grown up, stable, and successful and want me back. He says his girlfriend is dealing with her ex as well, so I wonder if their relationship would even last too long, both of them coming out of long term relationships.

  2. jennifer

    August 24, 2017 at 9:24 pm

    hi me and my ex dated for two years then he broke up with me and months later dated another girl who he then left after 8 months and broke up with because of me, he told me he still loved me and the memories brought him back to me however we started talking to try and fall in love with each other again and after trying we managed to at one point but lost our balance again because i couldn’t just let us be i kept bringing up questions like what are we and why aren’t we together eventually he got sick of trying and having the same conversations so I went to stay with him for 3 weeks we had a good time but we had sex and when I got back we just didn’t talk much and he told me its because he doesn’t feel the urge to pop up to me and talk to me his old feelings aren’t there anymore and it isn’t the same, now he’s started talking to another girl who is literally perfect in terms of looks and they have many similarities but I still want him back, we are still in contact, however, I’ve blocked him off everything so my life is easier for now and today I talked to him and he told me to let go of us and that if we get together then we will but if we don’t we won’t but he doesn’t want to give me false hope and told me we can be friends but he’s talking to the other girl right now and getting to know her and that he already thinks she’s cool, he also said it’s my choice if i want to stay in his life while he chats to her, he doesn’t care if i leave his life or not right about now but i want him back so what do i do

    1. Deja

      October 14, 2017 at 1:23 pm

      Your situation sounds fairly close to mine, except my ex is not dating anyone but I know he is talking to other girls. We broke up about 3 weeks ago. I would really love to know where you & your ex stand now & if you both are in a good place (which I hope you are). If so, would you mind telling me the steps you took?

    2. maryam

      August 25, 2017 at 12:17 am

      we arent hooking up anymore and hes dating someone else and being so blunt with me so i cut of contact with him tonight

    3. jennifer

      August 25, 2017 at 12:12 am

      we dont hook up anymore hes now dating someone else and ive read them and now ive cut of contact with him so what do i do? he sounds so cold and heartless will he ever come back to me like he did last time?

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 26, 2017 at 12:06 pm

      he probably will but more likely for sex.. so, that’s good that you’re not sleeping with him anymore.. be active in improving yourself during and after nc, while slowly building rapport.. just be consistent in not sleeping with him anymore.. Your posts are your indirect way of showing your improvements.

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 24, 2017 at 11:33 pm

  3. shannon

    August 11, 2017 at 1:27 am

    Hi everyone I’m so thankful to have found this group! I’m only 23 but my relationship of 3 years ended suddenly 2 weeks ago. My boyfriend and I started living together 6 months back and thought it was going really well. One day we were arguing over something silly that quickly escalated. He said he needed time alone to think and we didn’t talk for 3 days. Finally he said he was ready to talk and told me he was no longer happy or in love. I was blind sided and devastated. My entire life crumbled and I felt like I lost everything. A few days after I heard through my sister he was seen with a girl whom he had been playing online video games and met through coworkers. He has been living at her apartment ever since the breakup and I feel even more devastated to know he moved on so quickly. I feel like our entire relationship was a lie and he no longer cares for me. Even though he ended things before he started physically seeing her it hurts to think of it so soon after. I am having good moments when I see my strength and self love, but every time I think of him with her i feel nauseous. A part of me still wants to try and work things out with him, but I don’t think he feels the same. I’ve seen posts online of them together and he genuinely looks happy and is smiling and flirting together. We have only contacted each other in regards to the apartment logistics. I want to try couples therapy but think it may be too late if he’s moved on. I am actively working on myself and spending time with family, friends, looking for new work, apartments, and hobbies. I feel excited to be moving forward and just want to do the same with him. Should I reach out after no contact period and try to do therapy? Thanks!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 11, 2017 at 4:42 pm

      you can initiate contact after nc to slowly rebuild rapport but couples therapy is for couples. So, that means you can only suggest that if you get back together.

  4. shannon

    August 11, 2017 at 1:23 am

    Hi everyone I’m so thankful to have found this site! I’m only 23 but my relationship of 3 years ended suddenly 2 weeks ago. My boyfriend and I started living together 6 months back and thought it was going really well. One day we were arguing over something silly that quickly escalated. He said he needed time alone to think and we didn’t talk for 3 days. Finally he said he was ready to talk and told me he was no longer happy or in love. I was blind sided and devastated. My entire life crumbled and I felt like I lost everything. A few days after I heard through my sister he was seen with a girl whom he had been playing online video games and met through coworkers. He has been living at her apartment ever since the breakup and I feel even more devastated to know he moved on so quickly. I feel like our entire relationship was a lie and he no longer cares for me. Even though he ended things before he started physically seeing her it hurts to think of it so soon after. I am having good moments when I see my strength and self love, but every time I think of him with her i feel nauseous. A part of me still wants to try and work things out with him, but I don’t think he feels the same. I have started the no contact rule and so far we have only talked in regards to logistics about the apartment. I see his social media posts with the new girl and he genuinely looks happy and is smiling and laughing which is gut wrenching. Should I let go of the hope of fixing things? I want to try couples therapy but I think it’s too late. Has he moved on or is this a rebound to take his mind off stuff? Thanks!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 11, 2017 at 4:41 pm

      you can initiate contact after nc to slowly rebuild rapport but couples therapy is for couples. So, that means you can only suggest that if you get back together.

  5. Cookie

    August 10, 2017 at 6:46 pm

    My ex broke up with me 5 months ago after almost 3 years together. We also lived together. We had a couple problems that led us to argue all the time. But this time he walked away for good. I begged him to work it out but it didn’t work. He insisted on being friends, I said no but then I agreed. He deleted me from social media only and I found out a month later he had a new gf.

    We have kept in contact ever since the break. He calls me almost every week for something. He has even told me he still loves me and that he always will. He also told me he missed me last week. He never discusses this gf with me.

    Should I move on??

    1. Cookie

      August 11, 2017 at 10:46 pm

      Wouldn’t no contact cause him and his gf to only grow closer??

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 12, 2017 at 12:25 pm

      it can but if you stay in the picture instead of focusing in improving yourself, you’re not giving him time to miss you and you’re not putting up a good competition. He already sees the other girl as the grasss is greener. Staying around constantly is not going to create desire.

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 11, 2017 at 2:03 pm

      Hi Cookie,

      why not try the advice above first?

  6. Jody

    August 1, 2017 at 3:06 am

    Last year, after 8 years of being together, I decided to ask for a break with my bf. He then said he wanted a break up not a break. So we broke up. I then started dating someone else but he dumped me after a few months of being together.

    I found out that my ex bf is in a serious committed relationship with his best friend’s sister. They’ve been together for over a year now. He has introduced her to his family and extended family and vice versa. They’re almost living together. I also found out he’s deleted me from facebook. He didnt wish me on my birthday and ignores some of my texts. He has never initiated convo with me since our break up. Should I move on from him? Or is she a rebound.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 1, 2017 at 5:04 pm

      Yes, Jody, you should move on..

  7. Sophie

    July 23, 2017 at 8:50 am

    Hello,

    I’ve posted on this website before and have always found the advice to be useful. Unfortunately, my situation with my ex is very complicated and it reached a desperate stage. He left me because his mother doesn’t approve of our relationship. We wanted us to get married and he tried to convince her but she refused. He promised me that by end of this year we’d definitely be married. He’s 36 years old and we had an off/on relationship for 4 years. He left me 4 months ago saying he had to make a choice between me and his family, and that he had to choose them. The whole thing was too much of a hassle for him, I think. I found out he got engaged to someone else 2 days ago, I’m assuming it’s someone his mother matched him up with.

    I’m devastated, I still love him and want to to be with him. I don’t understand how he can move on so quickly. I’m not sure if there is something I can do to get him back in this case…

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 25, 2017 at 5:15 pm

      for me you should move on..with that mindset of him, if they’re going to get married, it’s not going to be a happy marriage.

  8. Erin

    July 19, 2017 at 6:07 pm

    Hello, I’m in mid-late 20’s. Never in any type of relationship in the past. Practically single since birth. I’ve been in love before but I would say, those were considered as puppy love not until, 3 years ago when I tried out a dating app. I started talking to this guy 3 years ago and having such strong core values and beliefs, it took me the 3rd year which is this year to really engage myself with him. The relationship itself gave me a lot of heartaches with him. I held on because I had faith on us. I had faith that regardless of what my friends was saying about him, I knew he was a nice a person despite of the image he may portray on the outside. The relationship was on and off the past 3 years. He was in graduate school but recently just graduated. I had to be away for 2 months but we stayed in contact. When I was away and he was in post-grad life, I realize my strong feelings for him and the relationship was fading. I feared that but I held on and I was looking forward to coming back home to see him. After a couple of weeks, I came back and he reached out. He practically sent me a message with: welcome back, I’ve met someone. I felt blindsided. I didn’t see him to be in an exclusive relationship with someone else or suddenly with just anyone. I am still in shock and wanted a proper closure, through meeting in person but he didn’t want to and he thinks it would the same as it was delivered over text message. With the length that I’ve known him, I value the relationship and so as he says instead of thinking bad things about him, I just want to understand his sudden decision to break things off. It felt abrupt. I’m worried that he will come back again for the 3rd time and do this. Whether if he is in an exclusive relationship or not (just to push me away) and not ready for a commitment, I do feel that he is better than what he did, instead he decided to do a reverse 180 on me — out of sight, out of mind. Please advise

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 23, 2017 at 5:29 pm

      Hi Erin,

      I’m confused.. Why would he push you away more when he already said he met someone?

  9. Lu

    July 19, 2017 at 4:03 pm

    Hi amor
    That’s why I wanted my things so I had nothing tying me to him then I vacant start it! Now I’ve arranged to get my things tomorrow after he’s cancelled on me non stop I feel he won’t be interested though and he’ll grow more attached to this other girl. I pass his every day on my way to work and notice his van not there and it really upsets me to think he’s with her should I’ll hear him out tomorrow if he has anything to say and then I’ll start no contact but how should I address it tomorrow when I get my stuff I don’t want to show weakness but be positive I’m so confused and heartbroken right now i see no light at the end of the tunnel

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 23, 2017 at 7:14 am

      Ok, how did it go?

  10. Lisa

    July 18, 2017 at 8:13 pm

    My ex and I have been on and off together for the 4 and a half years. This last recent time that we were together it was about a year I would say. About 10 days ago, he broke up with. He told me that he was truly unhappy and needed to “go solo”. Now today, I am finding out that he has a new girlfriend. He came by my house today so simply talk, and we ended up having sex. He immediately told me that he regrets it because he really likes this new girl. They have been friends for the last 5 years. He has told me that this girl in not a rebound, but he also admits that he is still definitely in love with me but doesn’t want to be. I had initially done no contact, but broke it today when I realized he had a new girlfriend… I am going to start No Contact once again but what else can I do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 18, 2017 at 10:19 pm

      stick to it. be active in improving yourself and in posting and don’t sleep with him again.

  11. RITISHA GUPTA

    July 18, 2017 at 10:30 am

    I and my boyfriend are fighting since 7 months whether to be single or to be committed. He started liking his best friend at some point of time. He treated her very nicely but not me. I love him more than anyone. Now we have finally broken up. But I want him to come back, say sorry and be with me s he used to be before these 7 months. He has not confessed his best friend yet. But I cannot see them together. I want him back and start feeling for me again. How is it possible??? I want back his attention, love, care and everything. But how?? Because we have been fighting since 7 months…………

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 18, 2017 at 9:54 pm

      HI Ritisha,

      are you going to try the advice above?

  12. Lu

    July 18, 2017 at 8:45 am

    So been split from my ex for 5 weeks I gave him every opportunity to tell me if he was dating someone new because as I told him ‘it might make it easier for me to move on too’ he contacted me the first 2 weeks of the breakup then he changed from missing me to adamant we are no longer meant to be together I found out through some girls friend that he is now in contact with a girl he got rid of before me and him started dating and they’ve been apparently spending time together I was distraught because he told me he wasn’t seeing anyone I confronted him and told him I wanted my stuff back and to be out of this situation he seemed upset that someone had gone out of their way to hurt me but I told him I wanted to be done with everything once and for all. He works a lot and I was meant to collect my stuff on a couple of occasions but it got cancelled how do I go about getting my stuff back and is there anyway me and him could get back together now that he is potentially seeing someone else. He told me in a message that ‘it isn’t what you think’ when I told him I knew about this other girl I’m truly heart broken and am crying every day all day most days everything reminds me of him please help :,(

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 18, 2017 at 9:51 pm

      Hi Lu,

      are you going to do the no contact rule?

  13. Louise

    July 15, 2017 at 7:09 pm

    Hi EBR,

    My ex fiance and I broke up two years ago, we were together 7 years. In November 2016, after a year of no contact, he called me at 5am and said he regretted that we didn’t work out and was sorry for not doing his part in the relationship. I accepted his apology and we ended the call. He called two more times after that, within a month, and texted me asking me to call him. I wasn’t sure of his motives and was afraid of getting hurt again so I ignored his calls and text. Yesterday I saw that he tweeted that he’s recently single again and sad that he keeps attracting women who aren’t good for him and don’t appreciate his love. He’s no angel and hurt me during our relationship but it hurt to hear he’d loved someone after me and I feel bad about not returning his contact as I still care about him. What would be the best way to contact him or has it been too long?
    Thank you!

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 18, 2017 at 8:24 pm

  14. Denisa

    July 12, 2017 at 9:00 pm

    Hello! My ex broke up with me today, it’s not for the first . He said that we’re fighting too much, but we are doing so just bc i care about him a lot, an sometimes i feel like he is not treating me like his equal. After the breakup, i saw he with another girl. This happened before, when he broke up with me (always a different girl). i want to follow the nc rule, but in two weeks we are both attending a party, what am i supposed to do? Thanks a lot

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 14, 2017 at 1:57 pm

      Just be civil with him at the party..avoid him as much as you can

  15. Em

    July 9, 2017 at 1:56 am

    Hi I need help my ex boyfriend and I have been split a year now he’s had a girlfriend for 4 months and split up with her and has a new one hers been with for three.
    I’ve done no contact twice no successfully each time he got into a new relationship and it always seemed to be him coming back to me telling me he missed me etc..

    A few days ago I cracked and told him that I still loved him and watching him be with someone else is killing me and I don’t know how much longer I can go talking to him when he’s with someone else… I asked him if he knew how hard it was watching someone toublove be in love with someone else and that’s when he told me he’s not in love with her he still loves me and has strong feelings for me and wants us to try again at some point (I’ve heard all this before with the first girlfriend and he says this time after everything we’ve been through he means it)

    The hard this is he’s still with his girlfriend and things seem to be going good I guess? They are going the zoo like a happy family with her kids he’s been off work for a week and promised to come see me he didn’t in the end due to other commitments but still went out with his girlfriend.

    Am I being stupid in believing that me and him will ever work out when he does playing happy families with a girl he doesn’t love but I don’t know if he wants to be with her?!

    I’m so confused can someone help?

    Thanks

    1. Em

      July 9, 2017 at 8:04 pm

      Hey,
      I have set a limit and I’ve told him this and he said that he can’t cope without me I’ve been there through everything and he doesn’t want to lose me and I don’t want to lose him either so I’m not sure what I can do because I don’t want to walk away from everything we’ve still got.
      do you have any advice..??

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 12, 2017 at 2:27 pm

      You have to walk away because the longer you stay like that, the more it will just stay that way or it will get worse

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 9, 2017 at 7:35 pm

      That’s normal because you have feelings but you need to set a limit on until when you’re going to do this

  16. Luna

    July 8, 2017 at 12:33 pm

    The love of my life dumped me for someone else earlier this week, this was something that came straight out of nowhere. I’m so in love with this man I don’t know what to do with myself, I have been hysterically crying and acting like a spoiled toddler repeating “the only thing I want is getting him back”.
    I haven’t talked to him since, but I read on the male equivalent of this that you can do a shortened NC-rule of 14 days instead of 30. I really want to do the 14 days one because I’m scared of him geting comfortable in with his new girl if I don’t establish contact in over a month. Would it work?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 9, 2017 at 7:20 pm

      Not really.. Basically because you just want to chase him..

  17. Mary

    July 8, 2017 at 12:06 am

    Hi, please, I really need your help!

    My boyfriend and I had 2 years together, our sex life wasn’t very good, since I denied to have sex with him sometimes and that was devastating for him. He broke up with me on June 10th, we have spoken like 4 times since, he is always really nice and wants to be in my life since he says he doesn’t want to throw 2 years to the garbage.

    He has this hidden, even from his best friend, but I found out he has been seeing a girl, he has gone to the movies with her 3 times and is hanging out with her. I am afraid that he gets over me while I apply the no contact rule… that he gets more in love with her. I don’t know how long to pull the no contact through. Also he is leaving my country next year, I believe this also has something to do with the breakup, but he knows that it is on my possibilities to go where he is going too.

    It is important to say that he always finds a new girlfriend really quick, when we got together he only had 4 months single and this is something normal for him. PLEASE HELP! I don’t want to lose him, I really want to change my sexual behaviour but I don’t know how to make him believe me I CAN change.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 9, 2017 at 6:57 pm

      Hi Mary,

      Why not try the advice above?

  18. Lila

    June 30, 2017 at 11:10 am

    Hi
    I was with my daughters dad for 5 years & we broke up when she was a baby. We remained the best of friends over the past 4 years, living apart but doing many things as a family still. He won’t commit to me as he says I’m too controlling & get paranoid about him meeting someone else. The last few weeks he’s told me I can’t go to his house anymore, we can’t speak or text and we can’t do anything with our daughter together. I’ve asked him if he’s met someone else and he’s said no. He also said he wouldn’t tell me if he did aa it’s ni business of mine. We’ve always had such an open friendship I have found he’s changed so much the past few months. He’s been telling me if I could change and not be controlling it paranoid we could be together. He is an amazing dad to my daughter he sees her everyday. He also goes out most nights when he’s not working. I hardly get to go out as I’m the primary carer of her & I’ve lost a lot of my confidence since our breakup. I feel like such a fool for letting it get this far. I feel heartbroken all over again thinking he’s met someone. I’ve tried to implement the LAw if attration over the past few years but it seems to be goingoing against me lately. Any advice would be great I feel so stupid for even writing this is here! thank you x

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 30, 2017 at 5:04 pm

  19. Key

    June 18, 2017 at 7:30 pm

    hi. my ex bf broke up with me. We had a lDR for 4 years and we saw each other only once 2 years ago.
    A week after he broke up with me he met someone else over the internet…
    He told me to keep him posted on what I do, etc. but he never initiates contact and ask me to write every few weeks because he feels “deceptive” if he talks to me since he promise the new woman not to talk to me.
    I don’t know what to do… if I write I am doing something wrong and if I don’t write he won’t contact me I think… help me please.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 22, 2017 at 2:22 pm

      Hi key,

      Do you want to try the no contact rule?

  20. Lucy

    June 17, 2017 at 5:49 am

    I was dating my bf for 5months we had a disagreement over me being moody due to a previous spat that went unresolved he is a very busy guy with work and gets stressed easily he has big jobs coming up and so tuesday this week he breaks up with me I gave him every opportunity to change his mind but he was adamant. First he said he wanted time apart then it changed to him wanting to just be friends because he can’t deal with the stress of everything. He’s a very live each day as it comes type of guy I haven’t spoken to him since Tuesday can I win him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 19, 2017 at 6:45 pm

      if he’s just overwhelmed, then yes you have a higher chance if you did the nc right

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