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922 thoughts on “You Desperately Begged For Him Back And Failed… I’m Here To Fix That”

  1. linda

    September 1, 2020 at 7:51 am

    I was in a relationship with this guy for a little over a year and a half. Over our relationship, he cheated on me twice assuring that he was drunk and it was a mistake both times. The second time I was really hurt but he told me that I was the girl he wanted to marry and that I was everything to him and he just made a drunken mistake and that it would never happen again. So I gave him another chance and told myself that it if it happened again I would just end things. Me being the hurt person I was, I became so controlling and never wanted him drinking or being with girls around me, which i know is so unhealthy now but it was a desperate measure to save our relationship because of the promise I made myself if it ever happened again. After a few months of this he told me he couldn’t take it anymore and that I was crazy and controlling and he broke up with me. I was so depressed and begged for months telling him I would change completely and let him have his freedom and do whatever if he just gave me another chance. He says that he can’t do it again and that we are over but i still love him so much and I want to be in a healthy relationship with him and actually treat him right. I need your best advice to help me get him back. Thank you so much.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 10, 2020 at 8:22 pm

      Hey Linda, so you need to start with a no contact and read and follow the information in the articles, while I understand it can feel difficult make sure that you work on yourself during this time to show your ex that you are doing better and happy in life

  2. Abegail del Rosario

    August 31, 2020 at 2:20 am

    Hi! Need some help. Me and my boyfriend are 9 months already and we broke up recently. We are in Long distance Relationship. He was on board and i was at home only. He told me he loved me but he doesnt want to hurt me more because he have too much problems. And i think he is just making reasons so i will feel better in our break up. I tried to beg him and he said he can’t do it anymore. Then i send him a message that i will wait for him until he go home so we can fix our relationship. Its my 6th day of no contact after begging. Will it still work?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 7, 2020 at 9:18 pm

      Hi Abegail, it can work but you need to be strong and follow the advice starting with No Contact and working on yourself

  3. Chloe

    August 24, 2020 at 5:09 am


    My boyfriend and I were together for 3.5 years and a month after the break up he started seeing someone. He has been with her for almost 8 months now and I started no contact about 42 days ago.

    What are my chances of getting him back when you can’t go anywhere and he is probably living with her? We are both almost 30 and I have tried to move on but I want to be with him. I should also mention that he and I were looking for a house to buy together and close to getting engaged.

    I really need help – I need to get him back but I don’t know what to do now that he is out of the rebound phase with her.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 5, 2020 at 10:03 pm

      Hey Chloe you need to follow a 45 days No Contact and read and understand how to follow the being there method before reaching out to him.

  4. Genna

    August 18, 2020 at 6:32 am

    I have found your website and YouTube videos really useful during my current situation. I have a child with my ex and it make it so much harder to navigate everything. My ex and I have been separated for 2 years. He started dating someone new around 6 months ago. I have done a lot of work on myself and realised that the failure of our relationship was largely due to my anxiety. I wanted to give things another go and he agreed to try. But 2 weeks in he said he missed his new partner too much to try again with me and that he couldn’t get past the issues we’d had in our previous relationship. He says he loves me but can’t try again. I think there is still enough there and want to try for me and my son. I did send an email stating how much I wanted to try and why I thought it was different. I guess this is called begging. I watched all of the videos related to the topics of approaching your ex when they’re in a honeymoon period with someone else. I don’t feel like I want to give up but feel helpless of what to do. I can’t really afford the resources here. Do you have any advice to get me through the difficult period of getting over my ex I’m in now?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      September 2, 2020 at 7:15 pm

      Hey Genna, in your situation you are going to have some contact with him because of your child but you need to follow a 45 day no contact because he has the other woman in the picture. Then you need to work on the information provided about being ungettable, and apply this to yourself. Showing your ex that you are not the same person as you used to be, by being happier more confident and doing things that he did not expect you to do.

  5. Jessie

    August 3, 2020 at 2:27 pm

    Hey ,

    I was in a relationship for 6 months and in April it got hard because of the coronavirus and he ended things saying he didn’t want a relationship. He had previously asked me to be his girlfriend (to which I said we were on the right path and exclusive but didn’t think we needed the title yet). He had been extremely vulnerable with my during our time together and it seemed like he was in to me more than I was in to him. When he ended things (via text) I was shocked and it was hard to even have a conversation without him putting the conversation off. He then deleted me off all social media. I did not contact where he reached out a few times and when I reached out at the end he was mad I didn’t reply to him earlier. Through communicating via text A few months later he said he had no feelings for me and had said he did not want a relationship with anyone. I have since seen him once late at night (I know terrible decision but I thought u would have the opportunity to talk to him face to face ) – I think I have blown my chances but want any sort of advice you may have on next steps willing to try anything .
    As it stands I have access to him through snapchat and text

  6. Grace

    July 27, 2020 at 1:04 pm

    I’m thinking of going off social media for two weeks to make him miss me, please will this kind of no contact work, because I can’t bare seeing his profile, so I just want to go complete AWOL till next two weeks

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 27, 2020 at 9:36 pm

      Hey Grace if it will help you then of course go offline for some time, but using social media does help you show your ex that you are doing great without them and that you are being Ungettable

  7. Elsa

    July 9, 2020 at 8:43 am

    Hai Chris, me and my ex broke up about 9 months ago. Exactly on Oct 2019. For twi months I begged him for another chance but he still didn’t want to get back. I did many things at that time, such as messaged him, ask his friends, and seeking attention while I’m sick. But since January 2020, I stopped for begging. Then on March, I send him message to say that I miss him. He didn’t even read my message. Since then I tried to move on by blocked him at any social media, include his number. On May, he suddenly send me a message said that he apology for the mistakes that he did using a new number. He send it at 3 AM. Two days later, I wrote the reply and ask him to not appear in my life anymore. He only read it. But since that, he didin’t text me but I still not moved on. Do I still have a chance to get him back or is it too late? Thank you.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 4, 2020 at 8:48 pm

      Hi Elsa, it is difficult to give you an answer but following the program is going to help you get some chance to fix things, read some articles and start preparing yourself with the texting phase before you reach out to again. Keep in mind that your message said to leave you alone and he did as you asked.

  8. Siobhan

    July 1, 2020 at 4:59 am

    Hi Chris,

    Love this post!

    Me and my ex split up 2 months ago after a 6 year relationship which had multiple breakups in which I was usually the one to want to sort us both out and try again.

    This time he has left he has been acting differently to how he usually has when we have split up in the past (in past breakups he would want to get out and meet someone else straight away and want to just get drunk with his mates on the pull), however this time he has got his own place, seems to not be bothered about meeting anyone and just said he wants a fresh start. This has made me panic as his behaviour is so different and I really think it’s the end… so of course After a few weeks into the breakup after only discussing about him picking his things up I stupidly begged/pleaded/ sent gifts/ wrote a letter to no avail and it’s just made me feel worse! He is totally not interested in giving it another try

    I’ve cut contact from yesterday although I told him I wouldn’t stop fighting for me so I hope this does create a ‘shock’ factor like you suggested, however as I say I do think this time it’s completely different and it’s over for good.

    Is there anything else I can do in this situation with it being a ‘multiple’ breakup and do you think I have even the slightest chance of resolving this?

    Thanks in advance!

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      August 2, 2020 at 4:46 pm

      Hey Siobhan, it is possible to get an on and off again ex back. The issue you need to work out is how to not break up again. Work on being Ungettable and keep with the No Contact

  9. Ayesha

    June 25, 2020 at 1:21 pm

    Hey, i have had a long term (almost two years) relationship, but somehow he started finding me annoying. We’ve had fights for me expressing my insecurities and he also cheated on me, i forgave him but he was ashamed, but i couldn’t understand how could i forgive him. There were questions arising in my mind and i called him over and over again. And he said he needs time to think about things angrily so am not calling him now. He will call whenever he has to, what if he decides to break up? What should i do?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 27, 2020 at 8:46 pm

      Hey Ayesha, if your guy breaks up with you agree that you think it is for best and go straight into a No contact, do not get upset or emotional just walk away. This will throw him off and wonder why you were not as invested in the relationship as he thought you were. Your no contact needs to be 30 days and you solely focus on you and healing from the break up

  10. Janice

    June 22, 2020 at 9:41 am

    Hi Chris, I was with my ex for 3years+, he broke up with me 5 weeks ago during the COVID-19 lockdown. We continued to remain contact for the next couple of days, until he asked for us to stop contacting for 1 week. However, 2 days later he texted me, “How are you?” We later got back into contact, but I’ve been rather unstable emotional about it. I asked to remain in contact, but somehow it ended up with me asking for us to get back together, and trying to find out more behind the break up every other week. Reading back on his replies, it seemed that he was rather annoyed by it.

    After reading a few of your posts, I regretted my actions. I still want him to come back, but I don’t want him to think negatively of me and what I’ve done during this post-breakup.

    We are still in contact everyday, but I’ve been trying to give him some space and lengthen out my replies. We even planned to meet up this weekend.

    Am I in the right direction? What should I do to get him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 17, 2020 at 11:39 pm

      Hi Janice, so if you want to follow ex boyfriend recovery then you are going to have to follow a No Contact period. You need to do at least 30 maybe 45 if you are not prepared for the texting phase by then. You need to set that break and stop asking him to meet up as he now knows that you want to get back together. You need to give him some space so that he stops thinking about things in a negative mindset

  11. JM

    June 19, 2020 at 10:08 am

    We broke up a week ago and at the time I tried to convince him. Since then he kept viewing my social media and talking to my friend, so I messaged him to ask if he had any doubts and he said no. I asked him to remove me on social media to give me time to heal.

    After he took me off social media, I messaged him and tried to call to ask why he thought it was so impossible that it couldn’t work after a break. He told me he didn’t want to have to block me because he likes me as a person, and feels that it just didn’t work and our personalities clash, but that I needed to leave him alone if we are ever going to be friends down the line. He also messaged my friend saying he was worried for me and worried I would do something stupid.

    I’ve begged twice now, have I ruined all my chances forever?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      July 17, 2020 at 11:57 pm

      Hey JM, so you have not ruined your chances from begging. However if he is worried that you would do something stupid – you are putting yourself in this vulnerable impression in your exes mind. Which we do not want you to have. You need to make your ex view you as strong and confident. Work on your Holy Trinity and work towards being Ungettable

  12. Suze

    June 15, 2020 at 11:37 pm

    I was with my ex for 6 months. We broke up for a week in April and got back together, and I messaged him the whole time during that breakup. We broke up again a few days ago for similar reasons and I went to his house to pick up my stuff two days later. I tried talking to him then and he wouldn’t budge and when I went home I sent him messages asking for a chance. I then apologised and said we both needed space and that he could text me if he needs me. Since then I’ve been doing NC, trying to keep myself busy, going out and organising to meet friends, and noticed that he’s looking at my insta and snapchat story a lot. Do I have any chance or have I ruined everything?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 16, 2020 at 10:40 pm

      Hey Suze, the reason you ended twice can this be changed, is it an issue that you are able to work on? IF not then you need to think if this is going to make the next time you are together fall apart again? You need to work on Ungettable showing your ex that you are making positive changes to your self while he is wondering why you are not upset about not being with him

  13. Janine

    June 6, 2020 at 7:22 am

    Hi Chris,
    My boyfriend started ignoring me for two weeks now. I think he placed me on his spam folder in facebook. He got mad about about something I have said, but I was not talking about him, I guess he assumed I was talking about him. So he posted on facebook saying sometimes I think it is good to be single, nothing to worry about, no one to please, and most specially no arguments. Im so tired already. I was shocked and tried to message and asked him about it then I apologize. But he started ignoring me then. I kept on apologizing thinking maybe he would talk to me again. But nothing happened. Tried to reach him by email, text or call but nothing. Until I realized I should’ve stop bugging him. I beg him a couple of times until it hits me to just stop. Right now, Im just sending casual messages like greetings and good day. But I should probably stop that too right? He didntt blocked me off but rather ignored messages only in social media accounts.I just dont know what to do anymore and currently we are on Lond distance relationship. No contact rule will still be valid? Is it okay to atleast send him a message for the last time??

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 16, 2020 at 10:37 am

      Hi Janine, I would suggest that you just go into No Contact and stop reaching out as all your attempts have failed this last one will not help. You are just enforcing his decision

  14. Maddie

    June 5, 2020 at 7:22 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My boyfriend broke up with me this week after being together for 6 months. We haven’t actually seen each other for 2 months because of the coronavirus lockdown, but things were great before this.
    I felt he wasn’t making an effort with me and he felt we were incompatible – I think he found me needy in the relationship, which was my reaction to him distancing himself.

    So he ended it.

    I’ve reached out twice since then, asking if he would like to meet and talk about it as we haven’t seen each other for so long. He replied to the first message, and I wasn’t sure what he meant in it so I sent the second message, to which he hasn’t replied.

    I definitely don’t feel that the messages were needy or that I begged, but I’m kicking myself that I even reached out.

    Do you think going no contact now could possibly work still?

    Thanks in advance.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      June 7, 2020 at 11:45 am

      Hey Maddies yes it will work but make sure that you are using social media to show that you are doing well and are happy

  15. Hadassah

    June 2, 2020 at 7:36 pm

    Hello chris, last year 2019 I had a relationship that barely start around June and ended October of the same year I was heartbroken because he never hear me out because I spoken to him angryily about the reduce in his communication with me even if I was guilt of that too but one surprisingly aspect was that he apologize on the issue I brought up but since my outburst he was cold to me then that night I started begging the second day I was busy in school so it too time before I got to contact him that day I called him so late in the evening then he asked if I saw is message I said no and to my surprise his message contain a Breakup text I was mad but maintain my calmness his reasons to me were not enough
    After the break up I didn’t chat him for days even when I saw is message asking about my well being but I sent him the last message of me accepting the break up after my exam we chat once in a while but it’s not mutual so I took my stand of no contact rule from that moment but sometimes he just sent messages calling my name I can’t stand not replying he even sent me a new message but I later cut off our communication
    Now am the one missing him like mad I don’t know what to do I just send him casual messages he reply but I only Beg him once
    Even do am looking into doing something
    Mind blowing it a Long distance relationship

  16. Varsha

    May 1, 2020 at 9:02 pm

    I am going through the worst breakup in my life. I am 25 years old, an Indian. My childhood classmate became my sweetheart when we started talking during my college days(2013). The relationship lasted for two years. Most of it was fights due to his controlling and conservative behavior. I always cried. He would breakup with me after a fight and would come back 1-2 weeks later. As the relationship went on I was getting fed up with his behavior. And finally my friends threatened me to breakup with him when he didn’t talk to me for 1 month. And last October is., October 2019, we met again. We talked and I felt like he changed a lot. So I thought of giving him another chance. The relationship went on very well with a lot of phone calls and messages daily. Months passed by and the rate of phone calls decreased. I was starting to get worried. I thought he was losing interest( but he confessed later that he was truly in love with me.) I started all the fights this time. He got fed up after some huge fights. But he said that he still loves me. Hence, he asked me to give him some space for a few weeks so that he could be back to normal. I was reluctant to do that, which is my fault, and begged him not to take break since it will make him forget me( or I thought so). This made him angry and he asked for a break up. Next day he again calls me and says that he is sorry and that I should give him space. This time I agreed. Next day I called and told him that I can’t do this anymore and that I wanted to talk to him. He said he can’t. Again break up, the cycle continued 2-3 times. Finally we both agreed on taking a break. He texted me that he loves me a lot and to wait till he is fine and back to normal. I didn’t reply. Next day that is today,he again texted me that he has thought about it thoroughly and that he surely needs a breakup. I was devastated. I begged him a lot. He told me that this time it’s final and blocked me everywhere. I am really in the verge of breaking apart. I don’t think I can tolerate this. Will be ever come back because I love him really really a loot. Will the no contact be effective if I start now.?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      May 8, 2020 at 12:06 am

      Hi Varsha, yes no contact will still be effective if you start and stick to it for 30 days

  17. Etsy

    March 28, 2020 at 8:45 pm

    Hey me and my boyfriend broke up about 3 weeks ago. But 3 days before we broke up. He brought it up that he didn’t know what to do and that he wasn’t happy with me anymore . He said we was unhappy for about two months but he never told me. We made up that day because he cried to me and said he was sorry and that he can’t live without me. But then three days later he brought it up again after I made a joke about him being “mean” but after I said I was like I’m just playing and I said I loved him but he had just got done playing baseball. The game was bad and ig all he wanted was for me too calm him down but the he said he just wanted to be friends for now. It broke me because he told me 3 days before that we will fix this and get through this but ig he lied. He told me to give him space after because I went off and told him how much he meant to me and if he was going to do this then we will be friends and I guess the break up was mutualI told him to be happy with or without me but I didn’t mean it because I want to be happy with only him… I tried to give him space but it was hard for meI I would freak out about the fact that he would sometimes ignore me all night. But recently this past week he has been lying to me. He had started taking to this girl a week after we broke up but he said it was nothing serious. But he said it didn’t get serious until the other day when he snuck out to go see her in the middle of the night. That night he snuck out I knew something was wrong I tried calling him and saying things that I love him and that I would never be with anyone else while waiting for him and I was hoping he wouldn’t have sex with her but he didhe said he didn’t mean for it to happen but it did and I said how did you not mean for it to happen and what did he expect seeing a girl in the middle of the night in her room ? Alone?what made me feel worse was that the day before he had sex with me he said he did it to make me happier but it didn’t. We cuddled afterwards and talked and laughed and watched the stars after. When he was leaving he made a joke about a girl and he said her name. I knew he was hiding something. I know when he is playing around or not but he wasn’t joking and kept asking him but he ignored me. The next day I called him and we talked and he said he was in trouble because his parents accused him of sneaking out and I asked him if he did and he said he didn’t. I believed him but then on Friday I think or Saturday he came over and we talked and hung out. He also looked through my phone which I thought was weirdZ he went through my text messages. And pictures. When we got in his car I tried looking at pictures and I saw a screen record of the girls he’s been lying to me about and I asked him who it was and he said It’s just a girl. And then I got mad but I was like ok going back inside and he said this isn’t going to work out and I was like why. But I didn’t know he lied to me until the next day. I kept trying to call him that night and he told me to stop. I called him 30 timesbecause he blocked me because he made a “joke” and texted me about having sex with another girl. I panicked and I was like stop. If you’re going to joke about that then stop and i told him it hurts me and to block me if he was going to do that but he left me on read. He turned off his location and I freaked out and went off on him and told him i wasn’t stupid. He blocked me after that I kept trying to call him. I was on the floor yelling and crying in pain. I tried calling and he wouldn’t answer through his phone number. He then got tired of me. Calling and told me to stop and how he was on the phone already I asked him who it was and he wouldn’t tell me. He told me too stop and how he’ll talk to me the next day. The next day he texted me and said we were done. He told me he moved on already and he’s happy and he connected with her but he said that about me in the beginning too. He gave me hope that we would get back together but he told me to move on and it’s too late. He said he knows how he feels now and that he actually likes this girl. I panicked and he called me. I asked him if he’s met her yet and he said yes. I started crying and I asked him when and he said the other day and I said so you snuck out. She lives an hour away btw. But he said yes and how he never meant to have sex with her and how it just happened. He said that he didn’t even think of mehe blames me for alll of it. He told it was my fault and how I wasn’t willing to wait and give him space but I tried and I knew he would end up doing this. I don’t get how he could move on so quickly. This is not him. He said he’s not hurting me but he is. He lied. When I trusted him. He said he wasnt looking for anyone but that it just happened and he doesn’t even know herI just don’t know what to do. After wards he just told me to give him space. He kept saying he doesn’t know what to do and idk what he’s doing. I still have hope. And he gave me hope because he told me before that he wants me to work on myself and too give him space and we could workout. And I couldn’t. I am giving him space now it’s been almost a weekwithout talking to him and it hurts. I hope he’s thinking of me I hope he sooon realizes what he did and how he’s stilll hurt. He told me to find myself again and be the person he felll In love with. But now I’m just torn. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t even get up out of my bed. I keep seeking for help from others to calm me down. I keep getting on websites to talk to other people that have been through this. I just want to be with him again. I love him and I know deep down he stilll does and we can make it right because me and him have history. We’ve known each other for 4 years and we were best friends before we started dating. He was my first and I was his first as welll. I just want him to miss me and see what he missed. Because I know it isn’t me. I’ve just been through a lot of stress lately.

  18. Chloe

    March 28, 2020 at 8:17 am

    My ex broke up with me over a month ago and the day after we broke up, we started talking again and a few days ago he told me “it’s time to move on” but I can’t and I don’t want to and we haven’t talked in 4 days and I don’t know what to do now like if I don’t talk or text him for awhile will it do anything? Will he ever text me or talk to me? Will he ever miss me? I really hope someone can help me out here because I really want him back but I don’t know what to do anymore after what he said to me.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 28, 2020 at 4:16 pm

      Hi Chloe yes it will do something it will give him a chance to miss you and think that you actually are moving on. Work on yourself and your holy trinity during your no contact

  19. Aly

    March 21, 2020 at 8:45 pm

    My boyfriend broke up with me a month ago after dating for 6 years. We’ve lived together the whole time we dated, got a house together, we have 2 cats and a dog which mean the world to me. We were still in contact for most of the last month, and it’s obvious we still have a connection. I made a lot of mistakes while we dated, I was very irresponsible and was constantly in need of saving. He’s happier now that he doesn’t have to worry about all my crap. I’ve been working on myself and taking care of myself and becoming someone who could actually be a partner in a relationship and not just someone always needing saving but he seems like he has given up and doesn’t care if I change. Will no contact make him miss me or is it going to be the time he needs to forget me and be happier

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 28, 2020 at 9:15 pm

      Hi Aly going into a No Contact and actually focusing on yourself is going to help you if you feel that you are always the person who needs saving and if you are not secure financially then do so while you can. And then reach out with a text that Chris suggests using your knowledge of what he likes and dislikes to create a foundation to build your new relationship with him on making sure that you work up the value chain and try not to rush things

  20. Xia

    February 29, 2020 at 11:07 pm

    My ex broke up with me after five and a half years of dating. He broke up with me once before but immediately regretted it and we got back together. Then after fours years of dating, he admitted that he cheated on me multiple times and begged me to take him back. I wanted space but he kept showing up to my house every day. Eventually, I took him back. He said he realized he wanted to marry me and saw a future with me and couldn’t live without me. The next couple of months were great. But I still held a lot of resentment towards him for cheating. We had a week in the beginning of February where we hardly saw each other or spoke at all. I was very depressed and upset and felt like he didn’t care about me. Instead of checking up on me, he went out with his friends. That following weekend I asked to meet up so we could talk. He broke up with me before I could even say anything. He said he loved and wanted me, but he doesn’t want the same future anymore and he’s not ready to be in a relationship. I begged and cried for him to give us another chance. And he said no. I spent the next two weeks texting and begging him. He replied sometimes but said he needed time and space. Then I went NC for three days but eventually texted him. We texted for two days. Then he started to stop. He said he doesn’t want to text frequently like we used to because we broke up. Every time I asked if we could meet up, he would say he wasn’t ready to meet up. And when I asked if a part of him still wants me back, he said “I don’t think so.” But he said he still loves and cares about me. So I finally told him that I’ll let him go and I wished him the best and told him that if we’re meant to be, then maybe one day we’ll find our way back to each other. And he replied saying “I hope so.” I’m going to try to go into NC again, but I don’t know if I blew my chance and if he really doesn’t want me back anymore.

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      March 7, 2020 at 9:37 am

      Hi Xia, so your conversation was very emotionally focused so you need to complete a 45 day No Contact and focus on yourself where you are spending time making yourself happy, getting over the break up and the cheating etc. as it all takes it toll on a person. He is not going to come back to you when he knows you are open to the idea, you need to make him think that you are moving on from him, that is when he will start try to talking to you again. So make your social media look good, hint that you are dating others and let him worry that he has lost you.

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