You Desperately Begged For Him Back And Failed... I'm Here To Fix That

922 thoughts on “You Desperately Begged For Him Back And Failed… I’m Here To Fix That”

Kay

December 10, 2015 at 5:55 pm

Hey, Chris? I just bought your ex recovery pro and I’m looking to get a refund. 🙁 I don’t know how to contact you.

My ex basically got mad at me because I tried to get a girl he was talking with to delete him and so he blocked me almost /everywhere/ and told me to move on, and that he won’t speak to me for a few months so he can move on. I really doubt it’ll work, Chris, even with all the help in the world. 🙁

Chris Seiter

January 4, 2016 at 9:09 pm

Hi Kay,

Were you able to receive your refund?

Did you contact me via [email protected] ?

M

December 10, 2015 at 5:45 pm

Chris- Sorry, I have already left a couple comments. And hope you do not mind me leaving another for some advice. I am afraid I messed things up. I was doing really well with texting, and got a phone call, and even seemed like I almost got a in person date! He asked if I had gone on this walk that I was planning and said it sounded nice so I just decided to go ahead and ask him along. Unfortunately, he already had prior commitments and I should have known that, but he made it sound like he would have gone if he didn’t. But this past week threw me for a loop. He was seemingly interested. He would respond with in decent response times. (He never contacts me first and we have now been in this texting phase for almost a month). Early this week, I started a new conversation, he responded and returned a question, then I asked how he was? He did not respond. Then I thought, you know, why don’t you just call him and try to talk that night. We had talked last week and it went really well!! I didn’t do the story text..I just called this time and he didn’t answer and we have not spoken since. I feel like I sounded desperate and almost felt like I was beggin for a response each time I have texted since no contact. My texts have been really great/creative and I have gotten great responses from him and conversations. But I am afraid I reached out to him too much opposed to him trying to reach out to me. What would you recommend I do?
ghadeer

December 10, 2015 at 5:32 pm

hey, we have broken up because he didn’t have feelings for me anymore and he said he needs to be in a bubble and don’t need someone to be that close to him, and he’s happy with his lonely new life, he wants to turn into a “strong person” as he said and he didn’t love me anymore because he had lost interset in everything then he asked me to remain friends and we’re talking and going out together, but i wanna to get him back as a boyfriend how can i make him love me again? please i need your help, thanks in advance
Sue

December 10, 2015 at 5:06 pm

Hey Chris! This is my first time commenting here. Thanks for all the awesome resources – I love them all! I even bought the book!

So…I’ve made all the mistakes. He broke up with me 4 weeks ago due to little fights. He said he just hit his breaking point and snapped. The day before breaking up he told me I was his best friend and to never give up on our relationship. Since the breakup, he’s initiated contact several times and considered “talking” again but then he is filled with doubt soon after.

Long story short, he is going through a really hard time financially and trying to find a different career. I can tell he’s been handling the breakup badly because he’s been partying excessively and has picked up his old habit of smoking ( he only does this when super stressed.)

I’ve started NC multiple times and have failed when he reaches out to me. I’m starting again today for my own sanity lol. He says there’s no way I can change his mind about being single and figuring out his life. He keeps blowing hot and cold, but he tells me he will always love and care for me and can’t seem to let me go completely. He admitted that the fighting did not help and influenced his decision to be single and possibly look for jobs. The thing is, he changes his mind every few days about whether he wants to “talk” with me again or not. (As in unofficially seeing each other). On the few times we have talked about our breakup, he has cried.

When we were together, we had communication problems because he would brush things under the rug, but we were loving and had fun together.

Do you think NC will help or is this a lost cause? he’s a very emotional guy but very stubborn. Thanks! I’m determined to be happy regardless whether he returns or not.

Chris Seiter

January 4, 2016 at 9:08 pm

Super sorry for the late response Sue!

Thanks for the purchase as well.

I definitely think the NC rule is the way to go.

Umm… has anything new happened because it has been quite a while since you posted this.
Sue

December 10, 2015 at 5:09 pm

Also, we were together for almost 2 years.

A

December 10, 2015 at 3:16 pm

This post came exactly at the right time for me. Couple questions though. We broke up in July, have seen each other twice since. I’d asked him if we could date on a more casual basis, which he said ok to at first but then said he wasn’t ready to date anyone in October. Since October I haven’t asked him to be together, but we still talked occasionally, although I know I bothered him bc I was frustrated when he wouldn’t respond to me. I finally pulled it together & I’m on day 25 of the no contact rule. Our last interaction was really confusing to me. I texted him that I was at a restaurant & they were playing a song he’d once told me during our relationship that it reminded him of me (love song about a guy who is totally changed by a woman & grateful she came to him). It’s not a popular song so I had never heard it before he told me about it & never heard it until that day in the restaurant. So I texted him about it & said it was really odd to hear it bc he’d said it reminded him of me & it was so uncommon. He texted back “I hope it was a good odd…” and that’s the last time we’ve been in contact for the last 25 days.

In your article, you said that to the key word is “excessively.” I am wondering what counts as excessively & if that’s my situation. I have the book. I am following no contact. I was planning on initiating a text conversation after the 30 days like you advise in the book, but now I’m not sure. If I haven’t mentioned dating for 2 1/2 months (but did bug him about other non-dating stuff), can I still initiate the conservation after 30 days? And if not, what if he doesn’t initiate any conversation even if I follow the advice in your book?

Chris Seiter

January 4, 2016 at 9:07 pm

Perfect timing!

Very sorry for the late response almost a month later. I am hiring someone on to help me with the comments.

What first contact text message did you have in mind.

tamy

December 10, 2015 at 8:19 am

Ok chris one date down. Now im going to see about the second date? Who knows..hoping for the best

Chris Seiter

December 10, 2015 at 1:56 pm

Great!! How did that date go? What did you do?

What do you plan on doing for the second date?

Beverly

December 10, 2015 at 5:08 am

Hey Chris,

Is it possible for you to write a blog about whether or not it’s a good idea to add your ex bf on Facebook after you’ve been broken up for more than a year? My ex and I split almost two years ago, have hardly had any contact, and I was curious to know if it would be a good idea to add him back as a friend since it’s been so long.

Chris Seiter

January 4, 2016 at 9:01 pm

I have written about facebook here.

Does that help?

Alexia Rodgers

December 10, 2015 at 4:06 am

My boyfriend broke up with me because he said we fought too much. He told me that I would nag and yell at him too much. He told me he isn’t going to take the chance of getting back together with me Bc the problem will just come back. I honestly love him and didn’t know it bothered him so much until after he broke up with me. I feel like I made a terrible mistake. He said there was nothing I could say or do to change his mind and that we should be friends. I just want to be in a relationship with him , what do I do? I’m going to try the 30 day no contact rule , Today is day 4 and he already checked my snapchat story of me out on Saturday and the bathing suit pic I put up today which he never does. Is there potential of getting back together ? Before we broke up he told me no matter what we’d make things work and that he loved me and then the next second he’s telling me he can’t and he was just dealing? I asked the day after and that was the closure he gave me , he was very calm and heartless. We’ve only been dating 2 months but honestly he took me to see his parents and everything in those two months. This is our first ever break up

Chris Seiter

January 4, 2016 at 9:06 pm

I would recommend a 21 day rule NC period for you.

U

December 10, 2015 at 3:48 am

Is it a bad idea to ask a mutual friend to text my boyfriend to unblock me? ?

U

December 11, 2015 at 5:09 am

What can I do to change his mind of the breakup? He said he’s not going to change his mind ?
Chris Seiter

December 11, 2015 at 9:41 pm

When did he say that? Was it in the heat of the moment? After you begged for a while?
U

December 10, 2015 at 5:55 pm

And if you suggest posting pictures of myself on social networks so he could see, that is also not an option as the only app we can communicate through is telegram (similar to whatsapp). To make things worse, I have a huge gut feeling that he’ll block me tomorrow.
U

December 10, 2015 at 5:53 pm

I know that in order to get him to come back, you would suggest me doing the no contact rule and becoming the ungettable girl. But I’m so scared during that period of time he would like someone else. Also, there’s no way of him knowing or seeing I’ve changed as its the holidays now and the only way he would be able to see I’ve changed is if I coincidentally met him which is very very unlikely as the only place he goes to everyday is the gym. Please don’t suggest I go to the gym he goes to just so he could see me, as I am pretty sure he’ll catch up on what I’m up to and it’ll just backfire.
U

December 10, 2015 at 4:20 pm

Also, I heard from a mutual friend that he’s very happy right now (without me) ? Do I have no chance of getting back together with him?
U

December 10, 2015 at 3:58 pm

Sorry, I asked a mutual friend to ask him to unblock me. ? He was very angry and then blocked me again. I was so scared that he would block me for good that I texted his friends if they could help me meet him, to which he found out and went berserk. He told me how I made the situation worse and now he said he’ll never consider getting back together with me. ? Please help me.
Chris Seiter

December 10, 2015 at 2:51 pm

That is definitely a bad idea! Be patient and you will be able to get him to unblock you. You want to start with no contact – then texts – then first, second and third date. When you get back together then ask him to add you back. Do not talk about the breakup at all to your mutual friend.

He will probably use the mutual friend to see your page. 🙂

Worried

December 10, 2015 at 2:47 am

Hi Chris, so I’m at 15 days of no contact! Christmas Eve is the first day after my 30 days. I was thinking of texting you’re not going to believe what just happened. Then explain a husky puppy (which we talked about getting) ran up to my doorstep and I got to play with it till the owners picked it up. How does that sound? Also should I say merry Christmas? How long should I wait to talk to him again after the first contact? Sorry for the questions I just want to do this right. Thank you!

Worried

December 11, 2015 at 1:20 am

Is there a specific reason why I should wait till after Christmas?
Chris Seiter

December 11, 2015 at 9:55 pm

Yes he might contact you for Christmas and wouldn’t it be better for him to contact you vs. you contacting him? If he does you can respond because it is after your no contact period. Also holidays make your ex think about you which is good. When you message him don’t talk about the holidays unless he brings it up.
Worried

December 10, 2015 at 3:11 pm

Thanks Chris! It would be best to wait till like the day after Christmas to text him for the first time then?
Chris Seiter

December 10, 2015 at 2:53 pm

Perfect and do not say Merry Christmas. It would be best to wait until after Christmas to text him. You never know you might hear from him first…

Nice

December 10, 2015 at 1:39 am

Nice article Chris!

Chris Seiter

December 10, 2015 at 2:46 pm

Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it! Is there anything I can help you with?

Elena

December 10, 2015 at 1:33 am

Hahahahaha I don’t know why, but this one really cracked me up. The screen shot of the comments section, the ‘salesman’ image, the ladder image. So good!

Chris Seiter

December 10, 2015 at 2:48 pm

Hahaha I thought it was pretty funny too! Thanks!!

U

December 9, 2015 at 11:10 pm

Hey Chris,
I have begged him to give me another chance many times throughout our relationship and till the end. He was so annoyed to the point where he blocked me. I’m scared he’ll never unblock me and if he does unblock me, I’m scared to not beg for him back ’cause what if then he’ll look for other girls? ?

Chris Seiter

January 4, 2016 at 9:04 pm

You are scared of not begging him back when that didn’t work before?

Not quite sure I understand your logic?

Oops

December 9, 2015 at 9:47 pm

THANK YOU SO MUCH, CHRIS!!!!!!

I’m so excited now. I’m on day 9 of no contact, and I’ve already started changing myself. I’m learning a new language, losing weight, socializing more, improving my self-esteem, and kicking major butt in my classes (after some slacking). As far as breaking no contact, should I still send that first contact text, or should I wait until he does?

Oops

January 5, 2016 at 2:38 am

I’m learning Hebrew! He’s Jewish, and I’m in the process of converting, so Hebrew made sense. I already speak Spanish. 🙂

I made it completely through no contact, sent him a first contact text, got a positive response, and we’ve been texting every day for the last 8 days! I’m following the schedule you set in your “New Rules of Texting” article.

Things are going super well and I’m so thankful for all of your help. I’m kind of lost as to how to get him to initiate conversations. He’s initiated two out of the past 8 days, and out text ratio is 1:1, aside from occasional double texts from him! 😉

I’m going to keep going with a positive attitude and high hopes. I know, deep in my soul, that I am meant to be with this man, and without you, I would have screwed up my chances completely within the first two weeks!

How can I ensure that he’s the one starting conversations?
EBR Team Member: Amor

January 18, 2016 at 11:49 am

Hi oops,
End your texts in an interesting way. Like, if he’s interested in video games, tell him you saw a sale near his place, (but it needs to be true ofcourse) but details next time coz you really need to go now.. something like that
Chris Seiter

January 4, 2016 at 9:00 pm

Oh what new language are you learning?

By any chance is it Spanish?

First things first… what is the potential first contact text you would send?

Kelly Beacom

December 9, 2015 at 9:24 pm

Hi,
I have been on here before but for a different ex.
My most recent ex dumped me yesterday.
We met on dating site eharmony and hit it off straight away. He liked the fact I was adventurous to try new activities, he thought I was attractive and we always had a blast together.

We had been together a total of six weeks, he was eager to commit, introduce me to his mum and meet my friends. We also were going on a trip together. He would suprise me by taking me on cute dates and I felt my best self with him. The days leading up to the breakup he wanted to spend more time with me and didnt indicate anything was wrong.

Our date last night things were normal…til I noticed he had been checking out a skanky girl on facebook. I confronted him, told him it made me uncomfortable and he admitted although it went no further he was in the wrong. I said i wasnt sure I could trust him. And his demeanor changed. I knew then we were splitting up.

He took me home and told me basically he couldnt see himself falling in love with me, sees me as something platonic like friend/sibling…apparently he must screw his siblings lol…

I am completely confused, how can someone break up with someone so suddenly? Do you think he will regret it and come back?
I got a call on private an hr after we broke up(my friends never call private) I answered saying “Hello” and whoever it was hung up…do you think it was him?

Please reply, give me some insight into what he may be thinking..I know i have asked alot of questions but im so confused

Chris Seiter

January 4, 2016 at 9:02 pm

How did you notice him checkout out the skanky girl?

I think he got caught redhanded and felt some shame and then some anger for being called out.

My question to you is do you want him back?

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922 thoughts on “You Desperately Begged For Him Back And Failed… I’m Here To Fix That”