Can I Get My Boyfriend Back If I Give Him Space?

691 thoughts on “Will He Come Back If I Give Him Space”

Itsme

January 6, 2020 at 10:02 pm

We have been together nearly a year and just had our first serious fight/argument over the holidays.

How did he go about asking you for space or time to think?
He did not verbally ask for space. He canceled plans 2 nights in a row for to hang with his friends instead (we usually all hang out together so I was super concerned). He simply said “I’m sorry” after I told him how upset I was. I waited 12 hours (overnight and then some) for him to think about how upset he made me and then I reached out after he apologized to invite him for dinner and he said “not tonight” I responded with “alright I need to speak with you about something important.” And it has been well over 24 hours.

Did you breakup or have you not quite gotten there yet?
We did not breakup. Things were going great, even after a fight we worker through. Then he seemed to push me away

What have you done since he asked for space?
He did not verbally ask for space but I have not reached out because I see he is distancing himself.

Do I keep waiting for him to reach out? How long? What is the next step. Please help me

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 7, 2020 at 10:56 pm

I would suggest a limited no contact, not a full no contact. Where you only reply to him if he reaches out to you, and giving that you do not hear from him for a set amount of days. What you see as acceptable amount of time to not hear from your other half. And ask to meet again, which you need to calmly explain how you are feeling and avoid any arguments

Gladys

January 2, 2020 at 3:44 am

Hi, my boyfriend and I decided to be in a relationship last year even though he has already his girlfriend. He decided to break up with his girlfriend to be with me in our 2nd month together but his girlfriend would not allow him to do the break up and she becomes suicidal and hesitant to agree on the break up…We’ve been together for almost 2years already but then something happened last Dec. 29, 2019 when he suddenly dont talk to me, no texts, no calls and then he surprisingly confronted me that he and her ex girlfriend are still communicating and he is very much confused about our situations since we always had fights regarding the issue.He then decided to ask for a space in our relationship for him to think properly. I am afraid that if I give him space he would still contact his ex girlfriend and the worst if they will end up being together. I want to win my boyfriend back.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 3, 2020 at 4:31 am

Hi Gladys, so I suggest you give your ex the space to decide who he wants to be with, and as he is openly cheating on her with you, and then cheated on you with her it seems. I would take a step back and see what actions he takes. Read up about the Ungettable girl and work on yourself to reach that standard in your life

Haley

December 27, 2019 at 2:46 pm

Hi there,

My boyfriend and I have been in the most loving, amazing, passionate relationship for 1 year now. The love shared between us was indescribable. He is the sweetest, most genuine person I’ve ever met. He makes me feel like the most loved person in the world. All I want to do is make him feel the same. We were talking about moving in together in the very near future and he had bought a ring preparing to propose (which I found out about after the break up by a mutual friend)

6 months into the relationship I cheated on him. I can’t explain why I search for the answer constantly. I love him so dearly I want to spend my life with him why would I have done this? The problem stems from drinking. I know this. I’ve been trying so hard to control it and am seeking professional help but why did I do this to someone I love so much.

He found out 6 months after it happened. 1 week before the proposal. When it happened we both cried a lot, slept in each other’s arms all night, even had sex. I was a wreck that night begging him to stay telling him I can change. He said that we have a future together and this will make us stronger when we look back on it because I’ll learn and grow from it and be ready to settle down but we just need time apart.

I’ve implemented the no contact rule and am absolutely working on bettering myself and taking it very seriously. I just need to know if he will come back someday because it’s killing me inside. I hurt him so badly. Should I wait for him to come to me?

Please help me I’m in shambles.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 3, 2020 at 1:10 am

Hi Haley as long as you reach out after your No Contact as a friend and don’t expect to pick up where you left off you are going to have to re build trust and as if you are starting again so you will need to show patience and understanding if he has a trust issue to begin with that is because of the past and you are just going to have to be open and hoenst with him if you want to get him back

Nives

December 24, 2019 at 2:30 pm

Hello,

This is a really nice article. I am in a desperate situation right now and i don’t know what to do.

My boyfriend recently asked for ‘time’. When i asked him how much time he needed he said he didnt know how much time he will need. That night it sounded like a break up to me and i was in too much shock to say anything. Now after giving it some thought over night, i got crazy!!! i sent him messages telling him that we shd work things out differently and space wd ruin us, bla bla bla. i said alot of emotional things that i am not proud of. it was horrible.

He said we can still talk and text but needs time to be alone (not in a relationship). i still don’t understand why. I really don’t know how to deal with this. Ive been really stressed about this. how can i talk to him? Is he friend-zoning me or sth? Did he find sb else? Should i just stop talking to him or texting him? I love him and i want him to come back to me. Its been 2 weeks now. I need to know how to make him want us again. Should i stop texting him though he said we can still text? (honestly, i think he only said that so that i don’t feel so bad because he knows am too emotional. because even tho he said we can still talk, sth changed about our conversations. they are distant and it freaks me out). What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 29, 2019 at 10:50 pm

Hey Nives, so if someone asks for some time, give it to them do not hassle them or hound them to talk to you. Show you are not as dependent on being around them as they thing you are. Start doing a no contact and show how you are going to work on yourself – by leaving him alone and focusing on yourself for a while

Sam

December 21, 2019 at 1:58 pm

Hi,
This is going to be long but I am so heartbroken and devastated.
I was dating/talking to this guy for the past four months. It started off great. He made an effort. He called texted, facetimed. We spoke every day. He called just to call at times. I did not even get a chance to pursue him because he was doing all the work. We went out on our first date after a month of speaking to each other, and it went so well. Our evening turned into the next morning, and we did not have sex just to put that out there. So, I can’t even say that’s all this guy wanted. We hung out two days later again, and our Saturday Day turned into another evening that went into the next morning. We just hit it off SO WELL. This morning I did end up having sex with him. The connection was just there; it was just different. He was like you shouldn’t know this, but “this is so different for me in a good way.” We talked a lot, and he had opened up to me about it being very hard for him to let people in, having only one real relationship his entire life (he is 29 now), how it is just really hard for him to let people in and open up to people. I should’ve taken all these as red flags and ran, but it felt okay because we were having open and honest conversations. About three days after this Saturday hangout he came to see me on a random Tuesday night we cooked together, we watched a movie, and we talked and hung out. This night him coming to see me was completely random in the moment thing. When he had first started talking, he had told me that he was going to be going to DC (we both live in NYC) for Rotations (he is in Med School last year) after Labor Day weekend for the month of September and October. So, when he came to see me this night, he said I wanted to see you before I go and tonight was the only time I had. It felt so good to know this guy’s actions match his words. In the first month of September, he was there. It felt great, and it just felt like we were getting closer and closer to another. We talked every single day. He called, and face timed me took an interest in my days my weekends. Communicated so well with me about his days and weekends, and it was just great. The first weekend in October, he was visiting family further down in Virginia, which is about a 4-hour drive from where he was in DC. I had gone home to Virginia that weekend to visit my family that weekend, too (completely different parts of Virginia). We were texting and calling each other, and again he was calling to call me as he was driving to his Aunts, which was a 4-hour drive, as I said. I was on my way to catch my bus to go to VA. I am very good about space and understanding once you’re traveling etc. people get busy, and I was home too. But we still always communicated. This Saturday, I heard from him in the afternoon, and when I replied, I never hear back from him again. THIS WAS NOT LIKE HIM, and I JUST KNEW IN MY GUT something is wrong. I don’t know why, but I just had a gut feeling that something is up. It was so sudden this feeling. Saturday passed I got no response, Sunday went by I didn’t hear from him at all. At first, I was like it’s okay we are both traveling back today where we need to be after the weekend, and he is just busy, but simultaneously, it just felt off, and Monday came I still had not heard from him all day. So, I finally reached out on Monday night after work, and we texted and had normal conversation asked about our weekends, etc. Our conversation didn’t feel off at all, so I was like okay; it’s fine. We are right, I thought to myself. As the week went on, he was so DISTANT. Phone calls dropped instantly. There were none suddenly from him, and texting was very distant and sporadic, and over that weekend, I didn’t hear from him again at all. I was like okay maybe he is just having a busy week. I am a very patient, practical, and understanding individual. The following week was the same. I had called once or twice that week, and he would have an answer and say he is studying, and I would be like okay that’s fine, and another night he said he was out. Text this week again was distant sporadic. I finally called him up. He answered, and we talked. I feel like your dodging me. Is everything okay with you? You have been very distant from me recently. Ever since that weekend, we were both traveling to see our families. He finally talked and said that emotionally he was just not in the right place and that he needed to figure things out. He said I don’t want you to have expectations of a relationship because idk what I want and I need to figure things out. There is a lot going on with school, family and I just need to figure things out. So, I’ve been creating space and I was like okay well I wish you would’ve just told me because it felt like were trying to get rid of me or something and you were just giving me hints and he said no that’s not the case I’m just not in a good place right now, your there in NYC and I’m here in DC and the distance. I was like okay so where does this leave things between us. He said let’s just be friends for now. I was like okay that’s fine I understand you need time and space. If you wane talk to me you may I am here for you. He said thank you for understanding I’m not cutting you off I just need some time and space and I said okay I understand. I asked will I see you when you are back and he said idk time will tell. A few days later he reached out and we were texting and having normal conversation daily banter as two friends would. Our phone calls didn’t happen anymore but we did text every other day or say consistently he would reach out and we would text. Closer to him getting back the last week he was in DC his texting picked up again a little bit more than it was for the past month since he had asked for time and space Just to be clear all the communication we had after he asked for time and space was initiated by him. I made it a point to myself to just let him reach out to me. So, the last week as the conversation picked up I felt okay maybe we will be fine. The day he was driving back to NYC after being in DC for 2 months he called. I was surprised when he called me because our phone calls had dropped but we talked for a bit and continued texting into the night afterwards and as the week went on we texted the daily phone calls were not there but we were picking up on our texting. He initiated plans to see me that Friday and we saw each other for the first time in 2 months. I was naturally guarded a little because I felt like he had just dropped for a about a month and now he came back and boom it’s like we are back at it but it also reassured me that he probably figured things out and just go with the flow. We had such a fun night that first night we saw each other. We laughed hysterically, talked, cooked together, watched maybe 4 movies that night and just had such a great time. We both said it, it’s like you never left. I finally asked what had happened in October and if everything is okay with him now and he told me. He told me someone from his past that he used to talk to when he lived in Chicago earlier in the year had found out that he was in DC and she was there too and she had gotten hurt and she just reached out to me. He goes you were spot on though because it was that exact day that you said you felt like something was wrong. I was like oh okay and he was said her reaching out and us talking brought back all the emotions of what he had and I just needed to make sure that you were not a rebound and I just needed to separate the two emotions and feelings and I’m sorry I didn’t communicate things properly. He said but it’s done and it’s cut off with her. I asked did you see her when she reached out and he said no. So, I said well thank you for being honest and that was it. Naturally after this I felt even more guarded within myself because now I felt like wow it was so easy to just drop me and pick me up when you felt like it but I harbored and I said he spoke up and told me and that is a good thing. He came back and he saw me so he obviously figured out it’s me that he wants. The following week again everything was great his communication in reaching out to me via texting. He even offered to come see on a random Thursday afternoon asking if I was working from home that day and I happened not to be. So, I didn’t see him but that night he initiated plans for Friday. We went out that Friday night we had dinner we went out and conversation about our pasts came back and we were just talking. This night he told me he has 2 loves in his life which were his first girlfriend and this girl Val. Val was the girl who had reached out to him in DC and within myself I was like oh wow so he really liked this girl it was more than just someone he was seeing casually although he had told me he never started a relationship because he knew he would be going back to NYC later that year. So naturally I felt once again within myself as if maybe there was more to this past month in October and DC that he told me knowing that this was one of his loves in life. But I told myself things are fine between us it’s okay I have nothing to worry about. He hasn’t given me a reason to doubt him since he’s been back. We had been drinking that night he said something to me later in the evening once we had gone home and I know I was little an upset. I don’t even remember what it was but were fine in the morning and it didn’t even matter. But in the morning, he was like you were fighting with me last night and I was like what I would never. I’m not a fighter I was like you said something and I just got a little upset but that wasn’t me fighting. We played in bed laughing, cuddling talking that morning and we were fine. I did apologize after he left and I had said he I apologize if you thought I was fighting I was like trust me it wasn’t fighting. I am sorry you felt that way and he texted back saying I accept your apology and that it was okay. The weekend went on and we were fine. We talked all day Saturday about Christmas how he was going to help me with my tree and just daily banter but we talked all day as usual and everything was great. At this point I was like to myself that everything has been going good since has been back and I’m happy that finally I have found someone who I share as a friend and someone that I am dating. Sunday, we talked all day and Monday comes and instantly again I have a gut feeling that something is wrong and long behold for some reason his communication this week got distant suddenly again. I even asked this time 3rd day into it is everything okay with you and he said yeah why and I told him because I have an intuitive feel that something is wrong and he said take that feeling and throw it out the window in a joking manner. I was like to myself okay maybe I’m overthinking its fine but as the week continued something was wrong he was ignoring my texts into the next day suddenly randomly and it was just distant. I let it go and said he told me nothing is wrong so nothing is wrong and just stop overthinking. The week went on and Thursday night we were texting and I asked if I was going to see him this weekend and he responded saying maybe idk and went on to tell me what he was doing that weekend and his plans were still up in the air about Saturday. It was simply not like him to say, “maybe idk” and I thought okay something is up idk what but something is wrong I thought to myself. Looking back now at this week I think that girl from his past came back into the picture this specific week even though she is in Chicago and that’s why he got distant with me again like he did in October. So, this Saturday I didn’t hear from him all Sunday I called we talked for a bit and continued texting afterwards. This week communication was still a little distant but it got better it was hot and cold I would say. I had gone home for thanksgiving we had sent each other a sweet thanksgiving message and I thought okay maybe last week was just an off week. I came back Sunday and we talked on the phone for a bit that day his birthday was coming up on Thursday who he shares with a twin and I asked him what are your plans for the week. Can I take you out for your birthday one night and he said let’s do Friday and I was like okay let’s do Friday? As this week continued our communication was great again. He made several references that clearly sent the message that I see you in the foreseeable future and that you are not going anywhere and things are good this week. So once again to myself I said okay we are good. I spent all week planning his birthday and he actively took part in the suggestions ideas etc. and it was great. Thursday was his birthday and I sent him a sweet message in the morning and we talked all day and it was fine. He had been reposting birthday shootouts on his Instagram all day and the end of the end of the I saw one from Val (the girl who he had told me that it was cut off and done who had reached out to him in October who he had told me is one of his loves). The message said, “happy birthday to my favorite twins” with a picture of him and his brother with her. I asked him is that same Val that you were hung up on and he replied saying yes that’s her but not hung up on and I just sent a like in our I messages and went to sleep. I t was late in the night. The next morning Friday the day I was going to take him out. He texted me first thing in the morning around and it was just daily banter etc. He called me in the middle of the day letting me know about his plans checking in on me and asking what time were meeting up and when he should come over. I was obviously upset and I didn’t show it to him I kept my composure. I felt he lied to me. He told me he was done with this girl and it was cut off but now suddenly, I was like omg that he explains why the past 2 weeks he’s been distant and hot and cold with me again. I didn’t let it affect me I kept it to myself and told myself he didn’t have to be here for his birthday today if he didn’t want to. I planned tonight for him and we are going to go out and have a great time. The night started off good he came over we hung out for a bit he showered, got ready we were drinking and I had told him in the beginning of the night you can’t get drunk tonight because I have a nice evening planned and somehow before we even left the apartment he had gone through almost a half-bottle of whiskey which he was drinking straight and by the time we left he was drunk. I was like okay we are going to dinner and he will sober up its okay it’s his birthday. We ended up getting late to dinner which meant we were not going to make it to our show at Radio City Hall and again I said it was fine it is what is. I don’t want us to be rushed for anything let’s just have a good time. (I was a little disappointed but I kept my composure because it was his birthday and you know what life just happens and things don’t go as planned but it is okay). In our car ride to dinner everything was good we were talking, planning the next couple of weeks, talking about New Year’s Eve plans and what we should do. Telling me how he wants to be my person and I want my people to be yours. Telling me how he can’t wait to introduce me to his brother and how I would love him. He told me his he told his parents about me that night before leaving to come over and he was like they went to the moon back and were like finally a decent girl that you found. He asked me to be his plus one and I was like to what he goes life and we both laughed. I felt so great and I was like okay we are good and him and I are fine I told myself and that I officially need to stop overthinking because things are going in the right direction. We get to the restaurant we order a bottle of wine, order apps and as we are drinking and talking somehow, he starts the conversation and goes I don’t know what I want I just don’t know what I want and I was like still? He goes yeah still I don’t know what I want, nothing I do is right, I can’t do anything to make anyone happy, it’s just enough, I don’t want to settle, relationship is hard for me to do. He started questioning my feelings about him and said I don’t do this this isn’t easy for me (in terms of dating) and said this is different for me, idk what I want. This is so hard for me to do. He just went on this emotional roller coaster all throughout dinner. I told him I’m here tonight for you. Why would you question my feelings and I asked where was all this coming from I don’t understand where all this is coming from. I said why are you doing this we are out for your birthday tonight and lets just have a good time. The remainder of the night the emotional rollercoaster went on all night and it went off in waves. He was fine and we are talking, having a good time laughing and at the same time its back on I’m just a fuckboy, I don’t do this, can’t do anything can’t make anyone happy etc. got to a point where we were standing outside on the side of the street and he just started walking away from and said I can’t do this, I don’t do this I can’t do this. He said get home safe and at this point I was like he’s so drunk we must get home. I had tears streaming down my face and he was like stop why are you crying don’t cry and I was like it’s okay let’s just go home. We got a cab he fell asleep in it and we went home and he just crashed on the bed. I was like okay move over I need to sleep too and I was like take your jacket off. Get on the pillow, get on your side etc. and he goes “Val come on stop I’m trying to sleep”. I instantly started to cry and this time I was like what did you just saying and he goes fuck and I was like why are you here why don’t your pursuer her and he goes “because that’s not the long-term goal”. I didn’t say anything afterwards he was drunk passed out and I was upset and I cried and I went to sleep. (side note- he was texting Val that night when we were out because at one point his phone was just out in the open and in his messages screen it Val the last person he had texted but he doesn’t know I know this) In the morning he woke up and he had no memory of last night and said how did I get so drunk last night I was like well you chugged the wine at dinner and you almost drank half a bottle of whiskey. You didn’t want to order an entrée so we had appetizers and desert and he was like omg what really. then he starts to get cuddly with him and kiss me and I was like you don’t remember anything from last night and he goes no. I was like you bickered with me all night questioning my feelings about you, saying you don’t what you want still, how you can’t do this, it’s not easy for you etc. and at the end of the night you called me Val. He got very apologetic and starts saying I’m sorry I ruined your night, how can I fix this, are you angry with me. I said I’m not angry I’m just upset. Where did all this come from last night I had such a nice night planned I don’t understand what happened and he continued apologizing cuddling, kissing me and saying how I can fix this I’m sorry I ruined your night to suddenly how would you feel about just being friends and maybe not so invested in this and I was like you’re not invested in this and he goes I just don’t know what I want. I was like thought you figured it out and he goes I didn’t. I said I feel like this other girl is still in the picture and that’s what you want and he goes she’s not and I don’t. I had tears streaming down my face. I was angry, upset from the night before and now suddenly, I’m hurt and we are talking about ending things. I should’ve gotten up and ran but in the moment, I had played in his arms and we just hugged each other tight and he was kissing me and said I just don’t know what I want and it’s not fair to you. I think this is right thing to do. I was like just last night you were saying you want to introduce me to your brother and he goes I do all that is still there I just don’t know what I want. He got up started packing his bag from the night before and he was like don’t cry you’re beautiful in every way it’s not you I just don’t know what I want and it’s just not fair to you. he got to the doorway was like will you answer if I call you and I was like will you and he goes eventually he goes will you and I was like well no because it this all indicates to me that you want time and space so idk. He hugged me opened the door started walking away and walked back just stood in the doorway and just took a SIGH and just stared at me and said IDK, IM SORRY, I just don’t know and he left. I couldn’t help myself and I texted him Sunday and I told him I don’t understand how it went from a great night to what it was to how it ended. How did it go from you asking to fix this being all over me trying console me to let’s just end this and he replied saying my intentions are never to hurt you I’m sorry about calling you a different name? we have been fighting the last few times we have gone out and it’s just in my nature to do so. (I mentioned the first one above where something he said had upset me but we were more than fine and great it was not a fight or argument and the other time he was referring to be that night of this birthday where I did not fight with him I just consoled him all night) he said I don’t want things to be bad between us. He said I just know what you’re looking for is not the something as what I’m looking for. I don’t want to waste your time I’m not ready for a relationship and I know that’s what you’re looking for. He said it had been on his mind for some time and it wasn’t just Friday night suddenly, the longer I waited the worst I felt about it. I think its best if we stopped talking. I think it’s the right thing to do. I appreciate all your effort for my birthday I don’t want you to hate me or there to be any bad blood between us and he hopes I understand where he is coming from. I asked if we could talk on the phone and he said yeah and he called me and we talked and started off laughing about the rest of his weekend and him asking me about my weekend and how my day was and then to what he had gotten on the phone for eventually. We cleared up some miscommunication and he apologized for somethings. I said it bothered me when I saw you posted something she posted for your birthday I thought it was done and over. I said vie never mentioned Antung about a relationship to you and that you keep assuming that. I have just gone with the flow and just enjoyed building a friendship while dating we are still getting to know each other and I’m not ready for a relationship either. I just don’t get how you went from wanting to fix this to let’s end this. I was like let’s start clean and fresh now that we have cleared up miscommunication and continued to say I think we should give it space I think we need space between us. I was like do you not feel the same way and he goes ive been pushed away and he said it again the fighting and I was like we haven’t had a fight I don’t understand. He was like I’m just pushed away I think the distance when I was there and my stuff I’m just pushed away. I was like okay this hurts I’m upset. I feel like I’m responsible and you keep saying fighting but we haven’t and I’m sorry if you feel that. And he kept saying no stop don’t apologize you haven’t done anything wrong. It’s not your fault I just need to focus on myself and I think we just need some space. He goes you can call me if you need someone to talk to, you can text me on Christmas, new years and I was like will you and he just idk. We got off the phone and I was so upset so divested and blindsided that I texted him again and I shouldn’t have. I said I feel about all of this. You keep saying don’t feel bad it’s not my fault but if you think we had a fight I’m embarrassed I just don’t understand because we haven’t. I’m not a fighter. I said we had such a good connection, this all feels so unfair you were drunk that night and the time before that when you think we had a fight I got a little upset about something but we didn’t fight we were fine laughing our normal selves. If it were an issue it would’ve not been fine and it would’ve been the opposite. I said fine even so we both had our nights we both harbored emotions but it happens to all of us. I don’t believe that change all of it and let it define everything else. I was like we are always laughing hysterically when with each other and talking. I said we hit it off so well and that’s hard to come by and I know you can agree. Does that not count for anything? How do we just disregard that? I was like we talked we cleared the air let this be a lesson it just feels so unfair. I said I don’t do this ever but I am for the first time Can we/you reconsider all this? Let’s start clean. And he responded saying again stop apologizing you did nothing wrong. And like I told you last night on the phone I don’t feel the excitement and energy that I once did when we first hit it off and I’m not going to force the issue when it’s not there. I really need time to focus on myself find my career that’s why I need space and everything we discussed yesterday. I’m sorry if you feel like it’s unfair and we are giving up but I think this is the best thing for myself and to help me grow. I said okay. The next day after some reflection I texted him saying I’m sorry for all the back and forth and this isn’t like me. I said things changed in October between us and never went back to how it was but our friendship remained and I valued that above all. I was like I’m upset and hurt because it feels like vie lost a good friend and our daily banter and vie been afraid of losing that. Its simply not me to react this way. I said your right its best that we don’t date. I care for you genuinely and I want you to be happy successful and the best version of you. I understand where you are coming from. I’m here for you if you need me. That was my last text to him and he never responded to me. I am very blindsided, I am so hurt, I just am not understanding any of this. We started Friday night off SO GOOD in separable. How did it go from I’m sorry I ruined your night let’s not talk to each other and just being cut off? When he’s been doing nothing, but making references to and in so many ways sending the message that he wants me here with him and his interest is there. Is it me? Did I do something wrong? I was nothing but understanding, kind and caring all through the time I have known him. I thought he was too and felt the same way. This girl came in the picture and things changed between us was that all it or was it me and something I did? How did he just do a complete 180? I keep thinking and asking myself does he still me and he truly is confused or does he simply just not like me at all and wants nothing to do with me. This guy raved about me to his friends and family since day one to throughout all these months up until the last time I saw him that Friday night. It’s so hard for me to wrap my head around all this. Just like that I’m cut off. We have had no communication since the last text I sent but he watches my Instagram stories which I know means nothing but yesterday he had posted something he cooked and I replied saying “have to give credit where its due this looks amazing” and he responded with a like and with an emoji. I shouldn’t have replied to his story I know it was really stupid of me. I’m just upset, angry, sad and hurt and at the same time a part of me is understating where he is coming rom and giving him the benefit of the doubt that he truly is confused. I think this whole thing should’ve been the other way around. But I don’t know why it is not. The connection we had was simply amazing. I just keep thinking this can’t be it. IDK why but in my gut it doesn’t feel like this is. Am I delusional? It doesn’t feel like this is the end. Will he reach out eventually? Is he upset too? Does he still have feelings for me? Am I still that girl he said is so hard to find. Is he thinking about me too and knows what he gave up? Are his intentions pure or not which is hard for me to understand because it felt like we were getting better Friday night started off so good with him initiating all these futures saying things you know my girl, I want to be your person etc. I also feel like I gnatted him towards the end after he said he went to end things with my texts but I felt rightfully so I had every right to say something and say what I had to say? Did I come off as begging and pleading to him? Im emberassed I feel like I came off desperate? Did i? im not the girl who does this but this was just such a shocker to me. What happened here?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 28, 2019 at 12:30 am

Hey Sam, so there is a lot of information here, and some of the questions you want answered, is not something I can do. What we can do for you is talk you through the process and that starts with a No Contact, giving yourself and the ex some time apart and in silence he starts to forget the negative feelings and starts to miss the good memories he has with you. The length of your relationship means that you can do the shorter no contact, 21 days, and reach out then as a friend and hope to build your connection gradually and not rush the process

Liva Tettere

December 14, 2019 at 2:04 am

Hey Shaunna,
My situation is quite simple but I’m so devistated and seeking help.. Me and my boyfriend had a pretty bad fight a week ago about how we should treat each other, Blah blah blah We came to an agreement, and it seemed fine. Me and him are kind of very “special” individuals, We both have some bad either anger, anxiety, depression, The list goes on type of problems.. I assume you can guess those disorders don’t come in handy for us. Something has been wrong for a long time and I’ve been confronting him about things that need to maybe change because I feel terrible. (I don’t feel a 100% comfortable about explaining what it is exactly). Well, Yesterday in the afternoon I messaged him and called him like I normally do. No answer. Later I found out he was just gaming with his buddies and when I said “We need to talk”, He came and admitted to ignoring. Alright I get it, That is pretty common in my uncommon bloody relationship.
Beside the point.. Today he told me that he wants a break, This is the second time he has asked that, The first time he took a break and then broke up 2 days later and I waited 3 months to get back together.
I was confused at first because ever since our big argument, The whole week was bliss, No problems just casual talking and hanging out.
He said that all the arguing we’ve been doing lately is getting to him.. That all of his friends and mom and dad are suggesting we break up, Which is true.
I understood at first and I let him be. Onto a good start right? Well, it goes downhill fast.
Later that day I was talking to his friend that I am friends with too, He mentioned that my boyfriend had gone to him and just told him “I’m done with this game, Me and her are over + trash talking about my condition”, I was shook that he told me “Calm Down it’s going to be okay, Show me you’ve grown as a human being and take this”.
So I did the possibly worst thing. I threw out everything he said about taking a “break” and started chasing him everywhere online (This is a 2 year long distance relationship). I logged onto his game that he was doing. Confronted him and he started to run.. From a game to game, To his friends asking for help. He was very well aware that I had found out what he said behind my back and just ran..
Eventually he faced me, Told his friends “You were right”, Came up to me and removed me from pretty much everywhere except our main way of communicating being Discord..
I was shattered, I thought “Well.. that’s it then, everything we’ve been through and this is how it ends? With him just running from me?”.
Obviously I broke down and called one of my girls to talk to for a bit. While I was in mid grief, He called me. I was surprised. I picked up and we started discussing.
He admitted and said he was a 100% serious when he said were over to his friend. Yet he didn’t mean the relationship being over, He meant it as me and him are taking a long break. (I’m still Having a hard time believing that). I explained what I was thinking during this chase and so did he. Turned out we were both in the wrong and we just accepted that.
(Extra Info; Right after he said he wants a break, Called me a friend FOR NOW and left. I texted him saying could he give me an estimated time for when the break is going to be over, since it would be unfair for me to just sit there and wait for a random day that he feels it’s okay to talk to me again), Well, In this call, After everything had gone down, He said 14 days. And even though I did not want to accept that I just had to stop chasing, Or I guess, stalking him and respect him.

I’ve been stuck here ever since that call, And my anxiety is starting to slowly break through.
I have no idea what is going to happen with us now and after those 14 days. And I’m stuck wondering why. About literally everything, Everything down to why 14 days and oh he’s going to break up with me after Christmas AGAIN (It happened last year as well..)
If you have any advice on how I should handle this situation, Please respond to this comment.
Everything in me is telling me to chase him and get all the answers, But after reading your wonderful article, i don’t think it’s the best thing to do..

Kindest regards Shaunna.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 15, 2019 at 10:50 pm

Hi Liva, I am so glad you found the article rather than chase him! Do not ever chase a guy if he wants a break up, give it to him no contact and let him have a chance to miss you, get over his negative feeling and thoughts and then when you do reach out eventually it’ll be easier to get him talking to you

Mary

December 1, 2019 at 5:45 pm

I was in a loving relationship with my boyfriend for the longest time. He said that I make him so happy and that I’m his ray of sunshine. He even got extremely thoughtful gifts. He drove me to his parents and to meet other people in his life. He talked about our future. Then one weekend he was just so angry out of the blue . He gave me a love letter talking about our future. Then he ended the relationship the ne t day and he said his feelings died a long time ago. Then he said don’t you feel more connected to other people? Then he said we don’t have a connection. He asked to be friends. I went quiet for months to recover. Then l came back and talked to him as a friend. I never brought up the break up or anything. Deviated from anything related to that when he tried to bring it up when we talked again. Then l told him that l want to be best friends. Then that upset him and he asked for space. Gave him space for a month. Then l reached out after a month. Then he said that he still needs more space to get over « feeling torn throughout our relationship » he said because he wasn’t sure whether we had a strong enough connection. then he said maybe we can be friends in the future but now isn’t the time. So I was confused. I agreed to be his friend as he asked when the relationship ended? So l don’t see the issue? Why is he acting like this? He was the one that brought up the friend idea?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 1, 2019 at 10:51 pm

Hey Mary, sometimes people suggest being friends during the break up as they think it lessens the blow. You need to go into a full no contact and get over the break up and the loss you feel when the relationship ended. For a minimum of 30 days and work on being the best version of yourself so when you do speak again he is going to notice those changes and want to talk to you more.

Robin Fay ONeill

December 1, 2019 at 1:51 pm

Hi,
I wanted to give an update.
You suggested I see a therapist. I have been in therapy for a long time. My guy needing time away has been really difficult. My therapist said bc of my past I needed to call him and say it was not healthy for me to be out of the loop so long. So, I tried calling him. The call went straight to voicemail. This was after a text asking if I could speak to him. I called and again straight to voicemail and left a message saying it was really important we talk. I never heard from him. I sent a couple texts that were a little long. Still not answer. I thought I was blocked. I figured out that I was not bc his carrier has a different message when blocked. I’m afraid I have ruined everything. It hasn’t been a month. I realize he may have gone out of the country bc he had mentioned he may need to ck on his property for some maintenance issues. He wouldn’t be able to use his phone. After one test asking how he was doing he sent a thumbs up. I hardly feel it wd be a reason to block me. I was just panicking. He did remove his whatsapp from the number but he may be using it on a phone there to contact his kids.
So, after sending the texts he may not have read I sent one and apologized.
I am still crying and having a hard time. It has all been such a shock. Especially since we have never even argued or fought. I so want him to be telling the truth. I want to know he is the honest straight forward guy I have known. I can only wait till the month is up. If it passes without him contacting me I guess he made a decision. He won’t be back.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 1, 2019 at 11:01 pm

Hi Robin it is great you are in therapy, the issue is if you are going to follow you therapists advice it is often going to conflict with the program and advice you will receive here, as your therapist is going to help you work through issues that you are talking to them about where we are going to try and advise you how to get your ex back. So for now I would suggest working through some of your issues with your therapist and revisit getting your ex back when you are in a much stronger emotional position

Samantha

November 29, 2019 at 4:34 pm

I have been scouring the Internet for “break” insight articles, this one was by far the best. After 3 years my boyfriend and me are on the dreaded “break”. Lately we have been having some issues as we are both in school for masters programs and work full time (we are in our 30’s) His starting school has definitely added extra stress on his plate (Which he does not deal well with stress in general) so where he would normally have had the patience and time to talk things out is non existent and fights began escalating to full blown screaming matches within minutes (he felt very overwhelmed by this). Working and school during the week meant we had no time to ourselves until the weekend (whereas his go-to de stresser is friends…. mine is quality time together) fights began about how much time he was spending with friends (this spread like a cancer to other areas and naturally before you know it we began arguing over anything and everything) After a particularly bad weekend he tells me he fears we do not want the same things and that Perhaps I need someone who can devote more time to me (I never asked for MORE time as I understand he has a full plate, I just asked the little free time he had was spent together rather than drinking at the pub with his friends which I was always welcomed to tag along to but do not view as QUALITY time). He broke it off while I cried and pleaded inclusive of a second conversation I initiated where I suggested all types of solutions to try and help us (i know post reading this article DO NOT DO THIS – lesson learned) He then changed to say maybe we needed a break and began getting angry that I needed to let him alone so he could ‘process’ his thoughts and he did not want to feel ‘pressured’ into the wrong decision (i.e agreeing to work things out then regretting it). This deeply hurt me and I have not reached out again and since then he has only texted once to wish me a happy thanksgiving to which I replied a quick thank you and here we are 1 week since the breakup happened. I am heartbroken and hope he finds his way back to me. Will follow the advice in this column and hope it’s enough to save us.
Emily

November 26, 2019 at 1:00 pm

3 months ago my boyfriend broke up with me after 5 years together because he said it no longer felt right and that our lives were going in different directions. We were very happy together for a long time and all of our friends and family have been devastated by the breakup. I had been behaving really horribly towards him for a few months due to a lot of anxiety I had around certain things that were happening in his life but didn’t realise that this was causing me to behave as I was. When we broke up I began going to therapy to address these issues and I can honestly say it has made me understand myself in a whole new light and made me realise how destructive I was being to our relationship and how different I would be given another chance.

We met up after a month to talk about everything and I was able to tell him about everything I had learnt and why I knew I would never behave as I had done again and that I just want him to give us another chance. He said that he could see that I had changed for the better and seemed different but that although he still loves me he isn’t mentally able to be in a relationship with me (or anyone else) right now and doesn’t know if and when that will change and so doesn’t want me to wait for him. I know that this is because of how much I hurt him and how much he gave to the relationship.

A few weeks later before going away travelling I sent him a letter explaining again why I had behaved as I did but not begging him to come back. He messaged me to thank me for the letter saying it had meant a lot to him. When I came from travelling we ended up going for a coffee to catch up which was really lovely but he said that he had only just begun to process the breakup in the last few weeks (2.5 months after breaking up) and while some days he wakes up wanting to get back together, other days he thinks breaking up was the best decision to have made. He said that he could not get back together with me unless he knew it was 100% right and that it was for life, although I understand this I think its a bit of an intense approach to take especially when he still doesn’t trust me and therefore I cannot see how he will ever reach that point of being 100% sure.

A week later he was going for a serious operation so I messaged him and he replied saying he appreciated it and would let me know how he got on after. He messaged me that evening to update me on it and we exchanged a few messages before he closed down the conversation. He messaged me a few days later about a show we both love but then quickly closed down the conversation which I know is probably in part because he feels guilty sending mixed messages.

We have not spoken since then, 10 days ago and I will not contact him as I appreciate that you advise no contact. My concern though is that the more space / out of mind I am that the more he will adjust to being on his own and will grow to like it and push himself more into the belief that this was the best thing to do rather than having any regrets. I know I have behaved with a lot of self-respect so far and have not had anything but positive communication with him (the few times we have had any), but how do I encourage him to realise that its worth giving another go and that he doesn’t need to have such an intense outlook on it and it would be better to give it a chance?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 1, 2019 at 12:17 am

Hey Emily giving him the space should allow him time to miss you, at first yes he is going to think it is the right thing to do, but slowly as time passes by he is going to start remembering the good times he had with you which is going to make him miss you. It just takes time. And during that time you need to do the work to be Ungettable girl so that he realises he really has missed out on someone great

Robin Fay ONeill

November 26, 2019 at 7:04 am

My guy and I have been dating about a year. We are both older. He was divorced about 3 ys ago. I was in a long relationship that ended badly. We both have trust issues. We have always got along. We may have minor disagreements but we have never fought. He tends to be a big thinker but we make each other laugh and have always had fun together. The chemistry between us is awesome. This past month he started getting distant. We usually see each other every other week bc he shares custody of 2 high school age boys. When we are together we may see each other almost every night but definitely on weekends. He likes to cook for me and he makes plans for us to do fun things. He pays but I will also at times. Sometimes I suggest things and we will do that. He go weird and I had to ask him if we had plans. We had spent the week before and we had a lot of fun. I always tell him how much he makes me happy. I complement him on his body and how hard he works. He’s very smart and we talk about a lot of things. He likes my intelligence and says I’m a mess but in a sweet and funny way. We both act goofy and he snorts when I make him laugh. We say things the other is thinking and finish each others sentences. He got very stressed on a Saturday morning. He was acting distant. He got upset was upset about something. He really didn’t say. So I got ready to leave and he said goodbye and gave me a hug but it seemed off. He ended up saying I was a big distraction and raised his voice. I left crying. A few days later I asked if he felt better. He apologized and said he had issues and wanted the best for me. A few days later I saw a job posting he might have been interested in. He was actually at the interview for said job. He thanked me. Later I met him at the beach for sunset and we talked. I gave him a special mug I had ordered a few weeks before. He was very excited and loved it. He said it was like an early Xmas. He hugged me and held me 4 separate times and he really kissed me. We both went home. Later on Friday he came over and had a cut on his arm that was swollen. I made him an ice pack. We went to bed and had sex a couple times. The next day I made breakfast and we had coffee together. When he left he kissed me and hugged me and said to behave myself. He often says that to me. A couple days later we talked on the phone he said he was confused and had a lot of financial stuff he wanted to take care of. He said he wanted to do some side jobs (he’s a contractor) to make extra funds to cover some big bills. We have discussed the money issue before. He has a property in another country and the renter didn’t pay the last month and it was over 3 wks and 2000 to clean it. He inherited it but he has to pay the maintenance fee. He said he still wants to see me again but needs time to take care of these things and get rid of some bad habits. I asked if he wanted to break up or if he was seeing someone else he needed to just tell me. I asked if he didn’t want to see me anymore. He said it wasn’t about that. He said he needed to take care of these things and time to figure stuff out. I said how much time do you want. He said 30 days. I said this is what you need and he said yes. I said ok then. I said I’m really going to miss you. He said I know. I said aren’t you going to miss me? He said of course. I wanted him to tell me. I said ok. Bye. That was Nov 5. I texted him and said after 30 days we will meet to discuss things. I expected him to tell me the truth. I said if he wanted to end things he needed to tell me now. I have not called him. I sent him one text asking how things were. He sent me a thumbs up. Our anniversary is Dec 6. I spoke to a mutual friend. He said he is a good guy and he has a lot of integrity. I think he is scared. I just want him to be honest. I have had trauma in the past PTSD. It has really made me feel awful and I have had a couple flash backs since all this happened. Do you have any suggestions? I love him. I know he has those feelings. He shows me with his actions. I have never demanded anything. I have let him lead. This was very unexpected. He called me his girlfriend after 3 months. He is very good to me.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 1, 2019 at 12:00 am

Hi Robin, so to deal with how you are feeling right now and to not drive him away I suggest seeking out a therapist to deal with your emotions. He sounds as if hes being honest with you and just needs time to sort other things that are worrying him right now. Stick with your No Contact and focus on teaching yourself how to deal with the emotions you are having, you are allowed to be anxious about this as it is unexpected for you but don’t ruin what image he has of you by Gnatting him

Alisha

November 22, 2019 at 7:16 pm

Here’s what happened my ex feels like I am interested in other guys because an ex liked my picture on social media. He is convinced that plus me liking body builders guys on Instagram I am not in love with him and destroyed the relationship. That plus early in the relationship my male friend sent me a snap that said “want to see what I look like in the dark” && he’s not fond of this person. All this combined made him leave me. I’ve gnatted him for an entire month since. To where he has blocked me and unblocked me and last night told me that he loves me but isn’t in love with me and want to be single. Then hangs up on me and texts me later about pushing him too far when needing space. I am confused and don’t know how to fix it.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 23, 2019 at 11:56 pm

Alisha, it sounds like your ex is insecure mainly and needs to work on his self esteem but liking other guys photos has not helped that as innocent as you think it may have been. So when you have completed a 21 day NC I would reach out to him in a friendly way but do not bring up the past and just try to get talking again as friends and build it up romantically gradually and if you are to get back into a relationship keep in mind that he is insecure and be mindful of your social media actions.

Alyssa

November 22, 2019 at 4:10 pm

Hello

So my boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship now for 2 1/2 years. Everything was going perfectly. Of course we’ll have our arguments here and there but nothing serious through out the years dating. We love each other. 3 months ago, his mom/family were pressuring him to try to propose soon. We’re middle eastern so they don’t think it’s nice for couples to date for too long and should settle pretty quickly. I’ve brought marriage up to him a couple times but never pressured him or anything. My family and I were supposed to go to his house a couple months ago to meet his extended family. After his mom Pressured him though, he became very very stressed. He wasn’t communicating with me as much, kept reassuring me how I’m for sure the one he wants to marry but he is not ready yet. A month ago, I asked him why he’s still been acting distant if he’s past the whole pressure situation. He told me he’s starting to feel distant and not as in the relationship as he was. I asked him if He takes back if I’m 100% the one, he says he feels like I am but when he has these feelings of being distant he doubts it sometimes And it bothers him that he’s doubting this. I never ever thought he would say anything like this for how much I know he truly loves me. I kept saying how the pressure really got to him. I knew a couple months back I should have given him the space since he was so stressed but he never asked for it. Instead I started to smother him, out of fear of losing him, and I believe that made things worse and caused him to start feeling more distant. I’m giving him some space now because I truly believe that is what he needs and he said he needs it. Do you believe that he will come to his senses with this space? It’s been a week 1/2 now with no contact at all.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 24, 2019 at 12:01 am

Hey Alyssa, so even thoguh you find it hard the no contact is best and it does give the ex time to consider how they are feeling and a chance to miss you too. So stick with it and do the work that is required to become Ungettable during your No Contact. Stick to it to 30 days of nothing, do not reach out to him and dont reply to him either

Ellise

November 18, 2019 at 3:42 am

So here goes. My ex and I broke up about 5 months ago because of my alcoholism and I cheated. We went about three weeks without contact and I went to rehab. We started talking again about 3 and a half months ago and slowly progressed into casually dating again. He told me we were working towards getting back together but taking it slow. I went back to damage control mode and constantly asked him about his feelings, why he was still on dating sites etc and ended up relapsing and I drank. Needless to say he was really upset about that and started distancing himself. He’s still on dating sites but says he does still want to get back together someday but wants us to work on ourselves. I need to get a job and focus on my career path and he needs to do the same and I know I should give him space, but sometimes I feel like giving up. He says he still loves me and feels strongly about me but we need to work on ourselves first. Please advise lol.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 19, 2019 at 11:10 pm

Hi Ellise, I do agree with your ex, you both need to do some self work. This is a valid reason to stay apart until you are both in a better place mentally. So you are able to follow the program because a lot of this is self work in which after 30-45 days NC you are able to reach out to him hopefully he will be in a much better place too. You need reach out on a positive note so do not bring up the past, the problems, or the break up

Valerie

November 17, 2019 at 11:38 pm

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 4 months. We started going out a week after he broke up from a toxic relationship.everything has been going really well. And then last night out of the blue he had texted me and said he needed some time. When he told me he needed a break I packed up my stuff and left I told him that I wouldn’t bother him. And thatit if it was meant to be it would be. I’ve read the article and I am good with giving him the space he needs, but I guess I just need advice of how to stop this hurt. I know that I can’t change his mind or make him want me but I’m just scared. It was so nice to have someone who treated me well and I was really happy and just about to let my guard down. I’m totally devastated. I just miss him and want him back. Which I feel like is a normal reaction. Anyhow I just need advice help thanks so much

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 23, 2019 at 11:59 am

Hi Valerie, so your attitude towards this process is great, as for helping you deal with the hurt, you need to do the work for the Holy Trinity, there are many articles here about this and also Chris YouTube channel too. This will all help you work on yourself to be happy and confident within yourself. Which in turn will make a really big difference when you speak to your ex after your No Contact is over

Angela

November 17, 2019 at 11:12 pm

I have been in a long distance relationship for two years with this amazing man. We have been seeing each other for a few days around 2 weeks in between. He was always so loving and so kind until recently, I had doubts about his commitment due to factors such as the distance and less quality time (him wanting us to spend some time with friends when I visit him). This turned into a big ball of anger and resentment on my side which ended to me asking for space. After two weeks of space, I regained my happiness and was not angry at him anymore. I learned about myself, what I could have done better and my needs in the relationship. We then met and had a whole weekend of discussions and letting everything out. I came to the conclusion that I want to make this relationship work. However, he told me that he still needs time. He said we both know that loving each other so much is NOT the problem… Its how we snap, get angry, and provoke each other when we’re having discussions over small things. There was already an instance that we physically pushed each other. I appreciate how honest he was about the reason behind him wanting time and space… I told him, I will support his space because I was in that state of mind a few weeks ago and hope that when he comes back, we can sort things out together. We went on with the day so happy and inlove until we had to travel back to our own countries. We had the most passionate kisses when he took me to my car (to go to airport). I know it’s his time to have some space but I’m just not sure if he will come back and that scares me the most.. Is there anything I can do in a long distance relationship to raise my chances to get him back?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 23, 2019 at 11:55 am

Hi Angela so its great you are respecting his request for space and use this time to work on yourself to become Ungettable, there a many articles on this website about long distance break ups so use that you will find useful. With long term relationships the main goal for you both is that you would eventually be together is this something you are willing to do? Make changes to your life so that you can both be together, is he willing to do that for you too? These are questions you need to ask yourself during this process

P J

November 17, 2019 at 3:54 am

I’ve been in a relationship with my old high school sweetheart. We were both separated and spent 5 years in a long distance relationship that was wonderful except for a few bumps. I was waiting for his divorce to finish and then I had a quick settlement for my own. We traveled together and I was there for him when he had surgery or needed advice or support. And then his divorce was settled and he began pulling back suddenly. I had taken taken time off to have him visit with family. Finally the family asked if he was coming and he has given me a no contact until he gets back to me. 5 years of daily contact and talk about the future and now I’m told He finally is free and doesn’t want to be sucked into something????? So I’m going to respect him and say nothing even for his birthday and the holidays. I’m beginning my settlement for my own marriage end and then I’ll move on alone I guess. But I am feeling so used, as if I was a stop gap to fill up his need for emotional support and encouragement. So how much time do I wait until I get my stuff I loaned him? How long is it ok to continue to hope. I’m ready to retire and buy a home in the next 18 months and I wanted to consider his needs and input. That was not good….. I guess it smacked of him being obligated. When did a wonderful relationship become a prison instead of being a privilege to be with me? I think I’m finished giving my heart to people who use me and take me for granted.
Swati

November 14, 2019 at 8:49 pm

My relationship was similar to the one you talked about. We told we loved each other within maybe a couple of months and it all seemed totally fine. We were happy and I felt good, actually good and calm and safe in the relationship with him. And out of the blue he told me one morning that he was going through a hard time and that he needed space. My brain practically exploded. He said that he needed to deal with this himself, he wasn’t sure how he was feeling and he needed to sort his life out. It felt terrible that he didn’t want my help, that he wanted to do all this without me. He told me it wasn’t “the end” but I was just so unbearably sad. he had taken all his things and left. I did message him to talk about a couple of days later but looking back I think that did more damage than good. He only repeated that he wanted space and wasn’t sure how long he needed. I told him i needed to know his intentions with me. But he only replied asking me not to push him into making a decision.
So I told him I loved him and would give him space. Now I’m not on his social media. He clearly doesn’t want any contact. I really do care about him. After reading this sure maybe some space without any contact is good. But how do I even know when to break the ice? And what do I even say to him to make him want to invest in this relationship again?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 14, 2019 at 11:47 pm

Hi Swati, so you need to look up some texting articles to help you compose your first reach out after you have completed the No Contact, also read up on the Ungettable Girl posts too

szcheradz

November 13, 2019 at 9:28 am

my boyfriend asked for a space after having a fight, but still I insisted that we should talk and all then we became okey again and then we really had a bad fight. then suddenly he told me he could not take it anymore so He wanted to break up from me. So knowing that how serious he was I panicked I went crazy and gnatted him, I said he cannot do this to me that I was not prepared for the breakup, then he then said , maybe what We really needed is time , but still he is replying my messages and all. but he doesnt call me baby and say I love you anymore, but when I message him he still replies, and still every day I keep incorporating our issue, that when are we going to be okey, and gets upset telling me that I dont have anythng to say but about it. And then still I keep saying same thing asking him when are we going to be okey asking him if he still loves me and he is saying I am not sure about it anymore. and then just yesterday I could not take i anymore so I had to ask him, if he is doing this because he cannot directly tell me that he doesnt want me back anymore and trying to do it in a nice way, I asked him that aDN HE REPLIED, Honestly I dont know what to tell you anymore, he said I dont want it anymore, I asked him if he was seeing other woman, obviously I knew he would not tell me anything.and I said, please dont do this to me and all, then he finally said, I just need some time that Is all I need and I still love you and told me that we will still be okey, he just needs time to fix himself because I cannot force him to be okey,. he said he just got so tired of me and all. So last night I deactivated my messenger and informed him about that and told him that he can just let me know if he is completely okey, Do you think that he will still be back or will reach out for me if I did the no contact based on his statements yesterday?or do you think he still loves me>?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 13, 2019 at 11:56 pm

Hi Szcheradz, you need to read and follow the program for your best chance, so you need to work on that and become Ungettable while you work through your No Contact

Dee

November 11, 2019 at 6:04 pm

Me and my boyfriend have been seeing each other for two months, everything was going good to a point where he Asked me to move in together. I felt the decision was rushed since we only getting to know each other and when I told him he understood why we can’t rush to that decision. Anyway last week he asked for me to give him space and time coz he’s overwhelmed about a lot of personal things in his life and he needs to be alone. I was devastated and crushed coz normally that’s not a good sign when someone you love mentions a break/space/time. It’s been a week now not talking to each other and it’s hard, I feel like I’m losing myself coz I’m wondering what he’s doing and honestly I’m not sure that he’ll come back. He hasn’t contacted me but he checks my statuses on social media. I don’t know what to do. Will he come back or should I accept that it’s over.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 12, 2019 at 8:17 pm

Hi Dee, start with No Contact and work on yourself for some time, get over the break up and the upset. Then assess your situation, complete the quiz and read some more articles that apply to your situation. Following this program is your best chance of getting your ex back but you need to read to know exactly how to implement it

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