Can I Get My Boyfriend Back If I Give Him Space?

691 thoughts on “Will He Come Back If I Give Him Space”

Roberta

March 3, 2020 at 9:39 pm

My boyfriend of one year and I had a huge fight. We resolved things the next day and were dedicated to working on things. The next week was fantastic. I felt a new sense of openness and honesty with him. A week later, I give him a small update on how I am feeling and then he tells me he wants to break up. I kicked him out of my place. We text the next day and decide to talk about 6 days later. We talk on that day and he has his decision made, he agrees with all I’ve said and still sees a future together. He says he wants to be able to talk in the future and thinks there is still something here. But was not 100%, he said he gave up hope on us and cant get past that. I told him to really think about all that we had said that night and he agreed and said he would think about it and probably wouldnt change his mind.
I texted him the next day just to check in cause he told me to reach out. He said he was away for the weekend with his family and needed time to think. He’s been back and hasn’t reached out at all. I’m sure he’s not changing his mind. He is the love of my life and I cannot believe this is happening. We did long distance for a couple months, Im back for a couple months and now Im going to have to leave for a few months again in May so the timing of this all really sucks more.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 17, 2020 at 6:27 pm

Hi Roberta, so I would not reach out to him, you need to start your No Contact period where you leave him be. Even though you are long distance at times you still follow the process if you want to get your ex back. Right not your ex is focused on the negatives of the relationship and the fact that you keep begging him to get back is just going to make him more determined with his answer. Give him space and let him have time to remember the good points of your relationship and start to really miss you.

Lilly

February 29, 2020 at 3:09 am

My boyfriend of one year first initially asked for space almost a week ago on Sunday. We had been fight for various reasons for a little over a month. That same day I called him back and I asked him if we could just talk about our issues and come up with solutions. We did that. We talk extensively about what has been happening and how we are both tired of fighting. This is his first serious relationship in almost 10 years. He’s 34. At the end of that conversation we said that he felt his feelings had changed and he needed time to think. I agreed and made no contact until Thursday when I had sent him a pretty extensive email about my feelings and expressing that I’m tired of him going back and fourth and to him make up his mind to either fight for our relationship or walk away and let me go, but that I’m not going to beg him to stay. I was strong until Friday morning because it’s our 1 year anniversary. He never responded to the email and appeared to be distant initially and then normal. We then talked about things more and he expressed that he read my email over and over and he’s stuck on the part where I told him that I’m tired of him yo-yo-ing with my emotions and to figure out what he wants. It didn’t make him upset, it make him sad because he just realized what he had been doing and he felt bad for me. He then said that he doesn’t want to do that anymore but he doesn’t know what he wants yet and needs space still. I told him that is fine and he can have all the space he wants and I won’t contact him at all so he can reach when he’s made up his mind. That just happened so I have no idea how long that will take or if he’ll choose to fight for us. What is worse is that our issues aren’t even that bad, the biggest issue is his brother starting arguments with us and basically putting us against each and my boyfriend telling us each different things because he doesn’t want either of us to be mad or fight. I don’t know what to do. I want to delete my Instagram and just shut him out. How long and how extreme should I go. He wants to be able to stay friends and have me in his life forever and I told him that there’s no way I could. I love him so much and I know I would never be able to fully close that chapter if I did that and I want to be able to get married and have kids one day.
Graceyyy

February 28, 2020 at 10:54 am

Hello. I was quite relieved after reading the article. Well my boyfriend and I are LDR for 3 years now and things are going smooth before we had this huge misunderstanding. I was really stressed at work and gotten extremely sick to the extent I got rushed to the hospital. So anyways before having this small fight of ours, I was quite cranky because I was stressed out and busy and sick then he sent me a message telling me that he’ll be finishing or passing some sort of a project in their school so I said okay but please do update me when you reach home. Btw our time difference is 12hrs apart. So going back I waited for his message and got nothing and out of the blue I had this gutt feeling that he went out with his classmates that includes the girl I get jealous at. Don’t get me wrong, I am not that control freak who prevents him to hang out with other people what I only ask from him is to just update me but he failed. Btw my gutts led me to a correct scenario. Knowing that he hanged out with his classmates including the girl I hate and he doesnt have any intention of telling me what happened because if not for his mom I wont know what happened made me upset and irritated because who would have want people to lie to you? Esp the person you love. Then the next day he told me while having our usual video call that whats the sense of telling me about their night out ill only get mad if he told me. Then I started telling him how about now did your choice made the situation any better? Then he suddenly hunged the call making me look dumb so yea I got upset and ranted on him. Then I got confined and I havent even received any single message from him except when I was about to be discharged and he only told me to take care of myself and for me to get well soon. So my emotions are everywhere because he is putting his pride first instead of just resolving the problem because thats the only message he left for me.
Then the next day after I was discharged he messaged me telling me that he is sorry for giving me too much pain and that it took him days to face me and is currently not confident still to face me. And he dropped the bomb of him needing to choose himself first. And that I should give him time. And now we are not talking for 3 days straight. I admit its very very hard esp we are miles apart but I have to endure this for us. I just hope he won’t lose his love for me in the process because I really don’t know what to do 🙁
Anne

February 28, 2020 at 8:56 am

We’ve been exclusively dating for 3/4 months. Last month, he became a lot busier with work and his social life than usual, and it got to the point where I hadn’t seen him for 3 weeks. When I saw him, I said I wasn’t very happy about that and he agreed with me and apologised.
The next week, the same thing happened, he was apparently busy all week and the weekend even though it was valentines day. I lost my cool and said I was confused and that I was expecting more. He said he’s not expecting more and doesn’t think we’re on the same page. He’s ‘not looking for a relationship now’. I said that I wasn’t really looking to rush things, I’m just feeling left out and concerned that his feelings have changed, since we used to see each other every few days and text a lot and I miss it. I asked him if he saw it being serious in the future and he said yes but he feels pressured right now. We had some back and forth but ended this conversation with him saying he needs a break to think, and after to discuss. I left him for a 8 days – did my own thing. Then I reached out and said sorry for putting pressure on recently and asked if he wants to meet or talk this week. He’s ignored my message, not even opened it, and it’s been 5 days. I know he is changing job this week and is super stressed, but I find it unacceptable.

I don’t want to continue a relationship with this man but I do want to have a conversation about it. Can I reach out and ask him to talk again or just wait?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 3, 2020 at 11:00 pm

Hi Anne, I know you stated that you did not want a relationship with him just a conversation. I would still complete a no contact so that he has time to calm his emotions along with you and your feelings right now. I would ask for the chance to talk after reaching out a couple of times for general conversation to show you are not hostile towards him you may not get the conversation and answers you are looking for however

Denny

February 27, 2020 at 7:05 pm

So him and I ended things about 4 days ago, well he ended things with me because of the constant fighting. I battled BPD & with that came tons of insecurities. He was living with me and at the moment he’s currently at his friends house hasn’t went back to his mom, btw he’s 24. The first day I was at work when it happened and I sort of went off the edge trying to beg him to stay, I emailed him after he deactivated things and later on that night he emailed me back expressing his hurt. The next day he emailed me again saying that he just needs “time” time to catch up on rest, unwind and take it easy but that he loves me, maybe if things go okay with us we can see each other and go catch a movie which comes out on the 6th. If I wanted him to hold on for me to show him that things could be different, since then I made an appointment to see someone and have been working on myself. The second day we did not contact each other at all but the next day I opened a Snapchat message of him saying that he was rooting for me always. Then today on the fourth day he actually sent me a text, telling me that he hoped therapy went okay for me and that he hopes things get better for me because I deserve it. That he misses my son and I with every moment of the passing day and despite his hurt he loves me the same. That he hopes I have a great day because I deserve it and ended it with -your king always. I replied back telling him that we miss him too and that I’ve been reflecting on a lot of things; and also apologized for my wrongs. I told him that I think of him constant and that I too feel the same. With each day that goes back he reaches out more and more; do I go no contact or allow him to reach out while still taking him space ? When he writes to me it’s once a day and that’s it. And how much time do I give him? This is our first break up, and he still has items back home. I don’t know what to do .. I love him so much ..

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 27, 2020 at 10:56 pm

Hi Denny, so from the sounds of things you need to do a 45 day no contact and focus on yourself. BE SELFISH. Do what is going to make you feel better, without your ex obviously. And spend time with friends, be social when you can, focus on things that are going to make you feel happy. And then nearer the end of your 45 day no contact you can start to plan out your first text from what Chris suggests. It is very important that you do not reach out to your ex or reply to any sort of message your ex sends you or any phone calls for 45 days solid

Clara

February 27, 2020 at 10:51 am

Hello, i took my boyfriend for granted and been fighting too much with him on petty issues. I have been a possessive, controlling and insecure gf. I have been with my bf for 4 years and recently we had a major horrible fight which ended him in saying he wants some space and time alone to heal. He never asked for space before despite our fights. I guess he is now fed up and i realised my mistake. I chased him 3 days after the fight texted him called him..he answered to some of my important texts and calls ..but he didn’t wish to speak more than 5 mins with me. I even send long paragph of apologies and told him iove him and everything. He still doesnt want anything to do with me and clearly stated he wants a break and some time ..
I cant understand what should i do..today is the 3rd day of no contact..i want him to forgive me and return back. What should i do?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 27, 2020 at 11:00 pm

Hi Clara. You need to give your ex that space as you are going to drive him away if you are constantly picking fights and creating issues. Use your No Contact period to focus on yourself and ask yourself why you are insecure and worried about your relationship enough to be possessive and controlling. It is not healthy behavior and it is unfair. If you feel it is a serious issue for you then I suggest that you stay single until you have sought out the reason you feel this way and learn how to close those negative thoughts before entering a relationship as the patterns are going to happen again.

Mystery

February 23, 2020 at 10:23 pm

A guy and I started talking about a month ago (LDR). It was very fluid and natural, and as I’m used to dating jerks, this was a nice change of pace. Suddenly, there was nothing for a couple of days, and I asked him about it since it was out of character for him to just not say anything.

He received scary health news last week that affects his love life. He told me the entire story after I asked what was wrong and said he needed to focus on himself. Honestly, he didn’t have to tell me everything, but it means a lot that he did. It doesn’t affect my opinion of him at all, and I hope he gets that. I would love to continue. However, I totally understand and respect his need for space, which brings me to my dilemma.

I genuinely want to make sure he’s okay, but I did tell him before stopping contact a week ago that I would still be here when he’s ready. Because I said that, I don’t know if I should ever reach out or if I should just wait to see if he does first. We didn’t get a fair shot, and that sucks.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 27, 2020 at 10:19 pm

Hey there, so if you want to get this guy to start dating you and his situation has not put you off then you can reach out to him after 30 days of No Contact

Rumor

February 22, 2020 at 3:43 pm

My bf and I have been together for little over 3 years now. We live separately so I’m over 5 nights a week until here lately. He has started practice on thursday nights so after work as normal I go over and he starts huffing and puffing right away…like hes aggravated I am there. I asked him if he wanted to play darts before he left he said no I dont want too and kept playing on his phone. He then got up and said I’m leaving and left me sitting there. For valentines day, I got nothing but he got gifts from me. For our anniversary it happened to be on his practice day and of course he went to practice. On weekends I dont go over because that’s his time to do what he wants. I know hes not talking to anyone else…he doesnt worry about his phone whole time we’re together we watch tv eat play darts or play music and have fun. I know he loves me he tells me everyday it’s hard for me not to msg him and give him anymore space I dont understand it I really dont i do everything for him everyone likes me and tells him how beautiful i am and he done a good job getting me all the time he hears that and he smiles and says I know. Now he has said on practice nights he wants to be alone before and after practice meaning for me not to come over. I dont like that I’m confused I love him so much idk where this has come from. I’ve tried not messaging him it’s hard not too i want to hear from him i want him to know good morning i love you even if that’s we say on the weekend idk I’m hurting and confused :'( what do I do? I dont want to lose him just last night he kissed me bunch of times n front of one of his friends rubbed my back and told me love you baby…so then why want the distance it’s not going to be good and I dont want to let go of what we have I love this man I havent msged him this morning, yet…I’m trying to hold off….:'( I’m afraid if I dont say anything he will be fine with going all weekend and then Monday will roll around and what do I do do I go over after work or still not say anything H.E.L.P

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 3, 2020 at 9:31 pm

Hey there, so it sounds as if your guy just wants more space – you are doing really well taking that step back but when you are apart you need to start doing things with your friends and being less available to him I think the issue is he knows if he calls you to come over you would drop everything and run to him. Read the ungettable girl articles and apply this to your life. If your ex breaks up with you in the mean time make sure you stick to the no contact rules

zingara

February 20, 2020 at 9:16 pm

I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years. We only had a few months of good times in the beginning, then it was dominated by fights. He brought out all the insecurities in me and most of the time he has no respect for my feelings and my boundaries. For some reason we keep ending up together. In january, after getting in another argument, I got so worked up that I ended up hitting him. He wanted to break up but couldn’t. He is now putting the minimum effort into our relationship. It is a long-distance relationship and he has no solid plans to see me. He answers my calls but told me that he doesnt see me as his future wife and so he wont initiate any calls. I can hardly have a relationship when I don’t share anything. He told me that he would pay this minimum effort until we meet again. But I don’t have much desire to meet him under the circumstances. He texts me good morning and good night everyday and writes about silly stuff that happens. We sometimes play games together. Should I not return to his text messages anymore? It might be that he needs more space?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 22, 2020 at 10:30 pm

Hey Zingara you need to complete a No Contact even if you are long distance you still need that time apart from communicating

Kylie

February 16, 2020 at 11:05 am

I met J on a dating site in our first conversation we found we were compatible in every aspect of what we were looking for. Our kids are very good friends which we had no idea of before our conversation. We exchanged numbers and spoke on the phone for 5hrs.
He invited me to his house the following day for coffee since our kids were already friends.
I felt an instant connection with his kids and J, we felt a very strong attraction towards each other and shared a number of passionate kisses. We texted each other every morning and seen each other almost every day, he told me I was the one and was going to delete his dating profile. He text me saying he was very happy, and he missed me every day. I did notice that he would still login to the dating site just briefly, then a couple of days ago he was online for a few hours which he hadn’t done since meeting. He called me on Saturday and told me that he was ending things because he thought he was ready for a relationship but now realises hes not and he he has family problems to deal with kids and ex. He told me he has been literally sick from having to stop seeing me. He says he is upset because he has hurt me. I feel we are a perfect match and want to have a relationship with him but I’m not sure how to get him to want a relationship or how much time to give him to sort through the problems he is dealing with. We were only dating for a week he has now deleted his dating profile.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 25, 2020 at 11:33 pm

Hi Kylie, I am really sorry it is hard when someone isn’t ready for a relationship and you are. However if he has told you that he has issues with his children and his ex after you only being involved a week. I would say that you move on to start getting to know some other people as he is clearly not wanting to date anyone if he also deleted the dating app

Ainah

February 16, 2020 at 6:43 am

Hi. My ldr boyfriend was starting to get distant and recently visited his family in the city. He doesnt like it much when he’s with his family because it means a lot of errands to do for him. His mom tends to let him do errands for the business. When i called him and asked him how he was doing he said he’s not feeling good and hes not in the mood. And i was actually the one who asked him if he needs to be alone first and he said yes. And i asked him until when and he says until he gets back to his own place which is away from his family. And i asked when will he get back and he said in three days. What if he doesnt contact me in three days? Should i worry?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 16, 2020 at 9:03 am

Hey Ainah, so I would just not reach out for three days and make sure that in that time you post on social media showing you are with friends and living life so he knows you are not going to be sat at home waiting for him to reach out to you. Even though he is going through a rubbish time while with his family it does not mean that he should take it out on you.

Denise Garcia

February 14, 2020 at 12:25 am

Hello,
Me and my boyfriend have been dating since high school. We both moved for college states away from home to play soccer college for the school. This was last year. I would say 4-5 months after being moved to college we broke up because of me. Ever since then we have been off and on because of us both. We had been talking since September. He was basically forced to move in with me because his roommate got them kicked out and I was the only person he could
Move in with quickly. I don’t know why but I have never trusted him, he’s never given me a reason to never cheated or nothing. I haven’t trusted because I’m scared to, I also see other people getting cheated on so got scared tnat could be and I didn’t trust him. ( very stupid not his fault). He is a very big I like to go out guy, he went out almost every weekend and whenever he did I started a argument because I got so anxious and scared. He finally told me he needed space and time away from me to reset and that he was also confused as well now. He told me he felt this way because I could t trust him and that it was too soon and we were too young to live together (I agree). We are 20. He ended up moving out and living upstairs with his teammates. I have given him space then end up texting him again because I’m so eager. He then says “ you haven’t even given me space” everytime I do. In which everytime I text him I regret it. I’m honestly scared and I don’t want him getting space make him not come back. What do you think?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 22, 2020 at 5:33 pm

Hi Denise obviously that you are in the same school it is difficult to not see him as much but you need to give it a full no contact of at least 30 days where he gets that time and space away from you and talking to you. In the mean time live your life and enjoy college! It goes by so fast dont spend it waiting for him to make a decision have fun with your friends and make memories

Ophelia

February 12, 2020 at 2:19 am

Hi, My boy friend and I are on a two-week break, It’s now day3. He said he isn’t sure if he still wants to be in a relationship, He still wants to spend time with me. But he wants his time alone more. He said he feels guilty for rejecting me to do things together, he feels guilty that he knows I want to spend tie with him but he doesn’t want to go out that much because all he wants to do now is really just studying, reading, and playing video games at home. Sometimes he’s like a hermit. He needs his time alone sometimes, and I get that. I told him I love him six months ago and he said he feels bad that he still can’t say it back. He ‘s hopelessly romantic but kind of refuses to accept that he is. He’s conflicted because he thinks if you love someone then it will be forever. But he doesn’t believe in forever. This is the second relationship he has, like I am. He’s 32 and I’m 23. We’re all relationship babies. But I want to grow and fight together in this relationship. I really want him to stop feeling guilty about what he wants to do. I don’t know if he really does need two weeks to figure things out. We both don’t want to break up now but seems like taking a break is the best solution. Because we both don’t wan to regret of doing the wrong decision.
I could really need some suggestions….

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 22, 2020 at 8:44 pm

I do suggest you allow your ex this space and in the mean time you focus on yourself and live the life you want. Sometimes we need the time apart to realise we miss the person we were with enough to reach out. If you are very different in personalities it may be a case of not working because you want different things in your life. He sounds like an introvert so do some reading up on their relationship and life style to help you understand him

Rebecca

February 7, 2020 at 9:39 pm

Hi there,

My boyfriend and I have been living together or nearly a year. Last weekend he was staying with family and messaged me annoyed as his sister had told him I’d confided in his Mum a couple of weeks prior about an argument we had one day and asked for her advice about how to approach it with him, as I felt I was struggling to talk to him, he was just getting angry. We sorted that ourselves in the end anyway and it passed. But then this weekend his sister brought this up and when he found out he was angry at me for turning to his Mum for advice. He said he didn’t want them to know we’d argued and that it also gave her the impression I don’t trust him, which I literally told her I did.
Anyway he was away over the weekend working, not really communicating with me out of anger, and he did something stupid and downloaded a dating app, which I found out about. I confronted him about it when he got home, he lied at first and denied it, then admitted it saying he’s not happy and I ‘don’t trust him anyway’, he left and went back to his mums. The next day he contacted me apologising for it, saying he was an idiot and it was a horrible thing to do and that he didnt actually message anyone on there, but saying we’re not working as we clash and ‘argue constantly’ (never once have I thought this, we’ve argued like 3 times in the past 5 weeks or something, which yes is a lot for us but hardly something to break up over). We also both work from home so have been around each other lately a lot more than most couples. I initially tried to message him and talk to him on the phone about how I’m confused I am about what’s gone on and any issues are easily work out able and tried to persuade him to come home as I could forgive him for downloading that as I believe he didn’t contact anyone. But since being at his mums he’s gone further into a headspace of ‘we don’t work’ when our relationship is generally great and we have so much going for us. He came up a couple of nights after and filled his car with his things to take back to his mums. We talked for a few hours. I cried a lot, he cried a bit, but he maintained his stance of thinking we’re not right for each other, I deserve better and he thinks I wont trust him at all now after what he did. But he left just saying he needs space from the relationship but that we’ll keep talking. But has basically moved back to his room at his mums and told his Dad we’ve split, but told me he ‘needs space’. I’d been in a place of wanting to get him out of this negative headspace other people have got him in, dwelling on stupid little arguments or things from the past which we’ve got over! So I emailed him a list of everything amazing about us to try knock some sense into him and see the bigger picture but he didnt reply. After a day and a half no contact he phoned me and I asked if he read the email he said yes, I asked what his response is to it and he said he doesnt know what he wants me to say. Again, we spoke for hours (just on the phone)
He said if we got back together it’d make things awkward being around people that know what happened, like it’d be an elephant in the room.
I said it doesnt matter it’s about us and he didn’t *do* anything and I forgive him for downloading it and he said he cares what his friends and family think.
It’s been nearly a week since he’s been staying away so on the phone I suggested he come back and we just spend some time together doing something nice and he said he doesnt think its a good idea, I said I do, he said I know you do but I dont, I asked why, he said ‘I’m not there yet’ and also said he doesnt see the point as he doesnt see things changing we’ll argue in a couple of weeks.
After reading your piece on here about when a man asks for space I’m definitely feeling more confident in my ability to just step back.
I’d love him to realise how amazing we are and what he’d miss, and I do worry that while he’s in an environment focusing on negative things or being told to, that he wont get out of it, but I know there’s nothing I can do from my end either so I will try no longer initiating contact unless he wishes to.
Do let me know your thoughts

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 7, 2020 at 9:46 pm

Hey Rebecca, giving space in this situation is good making sure you do not reach out to his family at this point too just because he wants to feel that your private issues are just that. I understand your reason for asking his mother for advice, but this one time you need to just take a step back and allow him to have some time to himself. Make sure you are social with your friends for the time being

Lo

February 6, 2020 at 5:30 pm

hello,
ive been dating my guy for our 2nd time.. for 2months this time around and 3 months last time around.. we have known eachother for about 20 years but have just been getting to know one another romantically this past year. we were previously together from april – july and he told me he loved me and i got scared and didnt say it back despite feeling like i did love him. he kinda freaked out and bolted.. we got back together 2 months ago and we were able to say our feelings for one another and we both agreed we never felt this way before about someone. we really love one another. things have been so good and amazing. he initiated all hang outs and conversations and we were starting to see each other pretty frequently ( 3 times a week and lunch breaks during the week). he even came over to keep me company when i was sick last sunday. things were great and normal for the next 2 days and that wednesday i didnt hear from him at all. then he posted some weird picture of him looking upset (which isnt his style) and asking his friends to keep him in their thoughts. i reached out to him and he said that he was going thru something internally and that he was going to need a few days to see if he could deal with it. i responded saying that i was sorry he was going through something and that i was there for him to talk to about anything.. and that i was going to miss him a lot but i totally understood that he needed space. its been a week and ive heard nothing from him. is a week a bad sign compared to the few days he originally claimed or do i need to chill? I know all about no contact and how to handle someone that needs space- and i feel like i respected that. however i am also feeling like its weird to not reach out to him to see how hes doing considering everything. I also want to be very careful not to reach out prematurely bc any added pressure to consider outside feelings in his time of distress may ruin things. I respect the need for space completely but i am also worried that not normalizing stage weve worked up to and not showing that i am here for him will make him feel like i dont care. i think that soemtimes when people ask for space it can be also a cry for help in a certain way to test if someone cares about you, but i just wouldnt do that so i dont understand that kind of thinking. Is no contact a mistake in this situation? is me not speaking up for my feelings of feeling shut out the wrong move in moving towards what i want? also hes been pretty active on social media but that isnt any real sign to how someone is actually feeling so i know hes not in danger or anythiing. Any advice would be so appreciated. i loved this article. thank you!

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 8, 2020 at 5:08 pm

Hey Lo respecting his request is essential. Even though YOU feel that it is a cry for help you can not force him to talk to you, want to spend time with you or force yourself on him because it is what you would want. During this time of space make sure you are social with your friends and family and continue to live your life. Do not sit at home dwelling on what he has said.

Rt

January 30, 2020 at 6:52 pm

I said wrong words that I didnt mean…”I’m dont till you get your shit together January3rd but I had him move out November28th. We have been together 2.5 years… I took on too much in my life and was super stressed taking it out on him and our relationship and just wouldnt let up everything was upsetting me and frustrating. He does have some thing to straighten out but he said once he gets it’s fixed we’ll be fine.. I kept be cold and bitchy. ( he did spend 4 days here with our dogs when I was watching a friends dog BUT I made it appointment to get dinner with him and we went out and did an activity and had a really good weekend together…but the day he left I went back to being mean and bitchy and really If I could take back all of this I would. We had some fights but we worked through them. I made such a big mistake and I miss him.
I panicked and went crazy over texting and trying to get him to see me within 2 days of my comment and he didnt want to see me he didnt want to fight it was stressing him out although I wasnt trying to fight but I was very emotional. Then he told me he still loves me and he just needs some time to think but I didnt stop I kept “nagging” apologizing telling him how I feel and that I know we can work this out etc. He told me there was no one else then 2 days later told me he met someone hes going to marry her loves her etc (I didnt acknowledge it too much) then I gave him 3 days of not contacting him…but then I reached out and we exchanged 5 texts short and casual I kept it about him. The next morning I wrote to him have a good day…heard nothing but that evening he wrote asking g how my day has been… we continued to talk for a while he mentioned his phone was going to die and he left his charger in the work van…I said I have an extra and he asked if I would drop it off in the mailbox so I did he said we’ll figure out a time to meet later or tomorrow and that he wants to take things slow and start back as friends not rushing into things because he doesnt want to go back to the fight and I completely agreed ( so I got anxious and so happy!!) Well come Friday he didnt reach out so I did ” are we still on tonight?” And he wrote he forgot it was his dads birthday and they were going to be eating and he doesnt want me to think hes blowing me off it’s not like that but he would see me tomorrow meaning Saturday..so I heard nothing from him I reached out and nothing… then Sunday comes i asked if Imhes done with my charger he wrote an hour later he could meet up in a second here after he showers… i said why? How come? He said to speak sometime with you if you’d like or is tomorrow (Monday) better. I wrote tonight is better actually. So I waited an hour and then texted I’m ready whenever he is…he wrote he has a headache and stomach doesnt feel great he took meds so he was hoping it would kick in soon. I said oh ok, well I guess I’ll just leave you be then or I can be there in 15min and he wrote back I’m gonna have to meet tomorrow. So then I sent him a long message about I feel like hes just playing games with me and I dont deserve the games. I’m the real thing and I care and love you. I respect you and my self. You need to figure out what you want because your pushing me away this way and this is only going to hurt our possible future together. I hope you feel better and I do hope you know I love you injust cant do the game. Good night… well I planned not to text and start no contact but I failed after 48 hours and he said nothing back to me… the next day I told him we need to figure things out…if your just over and done, need more time/space or if you want to take things slow like you said.. if you are over and done we need to fix our phone plan and exchange the rest of our stuff. I finally got “I’m at work right now we will talk later”…. well I never heard from him… and I have NOT texted him. I realize I may have already blew my chance and I hope I didnt so I need the best advise. We aren’t together because of my rash words and silly things. We were happy. I have been writing to him and trying to focus on me…but I’m scared he may not come back. I love him so much and we talked about a future together. His birthday is also coming up in 13 days so I am panicking too because I already have a personal gift for him that I want to give him that’s non returnable. 🙁

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 31, 2020 at 11:38 pm

Hey there so if you want your ex back then you need to stick with No Contact and avoid giving him that gift for his birthday. Think of this as the long haul not the importance of the gift. You can give it to him if you end up back together or friends down the line. If you want to give it your all and get him back using this program, then stick to your No Contact

Celeste

January 29, 2020 at 3:42 am

My boyfriend & I have been in a relationship 8 months, going on dates for a whole year. Just weeks ago things had been going great! We said I love you for the first time the day before Christmas & we’d been spending even more time together. Well recently I’d gotten a little insecure feeling and started asking to look through his phone, I found NOTHING & felt bad about not trusting him. After that he seemed upset that I hadn’t trusted him and we’d argued about it a bit back & forth. I snapped at him and he got a bit distant, he said it was due to work (he is on call 24hours for a towing service his parents own). I got insecure again & gnatted him spamming his phone & insisting he was ignoring & avoiding me. He’d been polite & said “sorry baby I am not avoiding you” I have a tendency to spam with texts, it’s not just him I do it to my friends as well. He has told me it stresses him out to send one text at a time but I have a hard time breaking the habit, I’m still working on it. Well last week I spammed him more than I ever had, but he hadn’t talked to me all day & he normally at least says goodmorning even on a busy day. Then it happened, he removed our most recent Facebook photo together. Only one though, he kept all our other photos & our relationship status up. This made me panic, I called & called texted & demanded to know why it was deleted. He gave me no reply…. so my next idea was to text his mother & ask if she knew anything about where our relationship stands (they work together & he’s with her 95% of the time, they’re very close & she loves me to death) she texted me very politely & supportive even talking about me coming over for dinner soon. He finally texts me about an hour later angry that I involved his mother in our relationship issues….. he then snapped at me and said he was over it & over my spamming & said he needed time to think about the relationship….. I got worried so next day I spammed him and he said “I want you to be my girlfriend but I need time to think” I spammed his phone all day the next day because I thought I’d get some sort of response out of him like usual but nothing, this morning I said goodmorning & it’s radio silence… he hasn’t said a thing to me for over 24 hours now & even after a fight he’s never gone this long without talking. He’s been on FB but has not removed any more photos & our relationship status is still in tact….. what do I do? I genuinely love him & I’m terrified that I’ve actually ruined things this time

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

February 1, 2020 at 3:54 pm

Celecste… you need to learn to stop messaging him! You are openly admitting that you have Gnatted him, involved his mother and sent endless messages. Give him space! You are going to cause the break up yourself at this rate. Leave him have this space show him you are sorry and show you are actually going to stop this Spamming as you call it. It is not healthy behavior, even with your friends. Do some research about emotional control and impulsive reactions. You need to compose yourself, learn how to control your thoughts and emotions

Natalie

January 22, 2020 at 6:19 am

I recently started dating a guy who’s 8 years younger than me. We’ve been together for about 3 months. I’m 31 and he’s 23. Everything was going great but around Christmas time he started acting a bit different. He went from texting me lots to sometimes not hearing from him for 2 or 3 days. When we did see each other, it was mostly me asking to hang out. Then at the beginning of this year I ended up having to have surgery. He texted me the day of the surgery and the day after to see how I was doing. Then I didn’t hear from him for 4 days. Finally when he did contact me I told him I was upset he didn’t make any effort to check and see how I was doing. He said sorry I haven’t texted you much but I didn’t know what to talk about. I responded saying we don’t need to text 24/7 but it doesn’t hurt to check in and see how the person is doing. He got more mad and said I shouldn’t of even texted you in the first place I just didn’t feel like talking and still don’t. By then I got upset and told him I’d appreciate it if he called me when he’s ready to tell me why he’s acting so cold towards me and if I did anything wrong. He did a few hours later and said he thought we should break up and that we are not good for each other. He said the age difference is an issue for him and it’s been bugging him for a while. He said he’s torn and doesn’t even really want to break up but thinks it’s the right thing. I told him We both knew men who’s significant others were even older and it’s just a number and shouldn’t be an issue,I care deeply about him and I don’t want to loose him he’s very special to me and to please not do this. He kept going back and forward and then said he didn’t want to break up but needs “time/space” to think. It’s been 6 days now and I haven’t herd from him. It’s been really really hard but I’m giving him the space he asked for. Now I’m just torn because it’s almost a week and he’s made no contact and I feel like he may never will 🙁
Your girl

January 17, 2020 at 12:41 pm

Me and boyfriend of 3 months were unable to establish trustworthy relation..we fights alot and both feels insecure..yesterday he asked me for space.will he leave me?he said he is not breaking up just he wants alone time

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 17, 2020 at 1:56 pm

Hey there, so if he wants space allow this because if he does or does not break up with you, the both of you need to work on communication in relationship and understand why you are always fighting, why there is no trust in the relationship? Was there cheating? Are you both insecure?

Jen

January 7, 2020 at 1:06 am

Hi. I don’t know if my first message posted

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 7, 2020 at 10:51 pm

Hi Jen I cant see anything other than this message from you to respond to at the moment, if you want to re post I will get to you as I work through them 🙂

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