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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
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Post categories
Kaylin
July 6, 2020 at 1:37 pm
My ex boyfriend an I have broken up for more than a year now since the breakup he never contacted me again but still has my number on WhatsApp and still follows me on Facebook what I cant really get over is the fact that he broke up with me over WhatsApp he said it was hard to get to me so that’s why he ended it but then I asked him was that the only reason then he said no and when I asked him to tell me he got angry and upset and asked why I wanted to know till today he never told me
Deborah
July 2, 2020 at 1:05 pm
I was ok with my boyfriend for almost a year. Everything was ok. But at first he told me to give him time. Afterwards he sent a break up text. I tried to get answers but he picked no calls replied to no texts then he blocked me eventually. Am so shuttered.
Your girl
June 5, 2020 at 3:10 pm
Hey chris
Me nd my ex were in on/off relationship.
6 days before we had a fight where I was not at fault but he thought that I was.he abused me in anger..I didnt talk back.when he calmed down he said he was sorry as he was so angry.but I was broken by the way he abused me.i offered him ti stay friends as I was so afraid of his anger that in future he will harm me.he said he can never harm me as I am lovely to him.he asked for a sorry then I forgave him.then he said he love me..and sort out the thing.then he went to take a bath.and came after an hour and out of blue he said he xont want to live with me I was shocked that a few hours ago he convinced me and now suddenly he dont want to live with me i begged nd asked for an explanation. He said he dont trust me and he was tired of my social medias(as I have 2 accounts nd used to get alot of fake messages which he didnt like but nothing was my fault) and third he said I was not a girl he wants to be with.i was shattered…I did truly love him..but why he suddenly broke up.i dont know what’s going on..is it over or is there any possibility of him to come back.please tell me.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
June 9, 2020 at 11:19 pm
Hey there, so if you want your best chance at getting your ex back start following the information in the articles and follow the program. Starting with the No Contact and your Holy Trinity
Thembi
May 23, 2020 at 9:03 pm
Hi my ex-boyfriend he gave me a silent treatment it’s being a year. so now im missing him, should i text him asking for a forgiveness? even thou i didnt do anything to him?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 29, 2020 at 3:01 pm
Hi Thembi, if your ex has ignored you for a year, then I would reach out if you want to but keep in mind that it is a long time to not speak with someone. Don’t expect to pick up where you left things
Lisa
May 18, 2020 at 9:21 am
My ex boyfriend of 10 years and my boss at work ended our relationship in lockdown he was at his home and me mine , it came out of the blue he was fine before he went back home . Ghosted next then finally on the 14 April came to tell me with 2 pathetic reasons but we’re all my fault . He kept phone contact with me thought there was hope but now I know there isn’t I am dreading going back to work
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 20, 2020 at 10:02 pm
Hi Lisa, make sure that you follow a no contact, limited when it comes to work reasons. You need to prepare yourself for working with your ex but as long as you remain composed and professional it should be easier over time.
mzladything
May 11, 2020 at 11:14 pm
Ello,
I read your article. Maybe I’m in denial but I’m not sure what happened. My boyfriend and I been together for 5 years. Longest relationship he was in. He was living with me and my kids until he had to move out do to my custody battle ( was together for 3 years then). He moved out cause my ex husband was saying false things about him. We was seeing each other. He was staying with me every other weekend. My court battle finally ended in January. When he had to move his depression got worse and he started drinking heavily. Which I said he couldn’t move back until he could get his drinking under control and get a job. I thought everything was doing well. Even thought of him moving back. He was over a few days ago and I thought it was fine. Talked about going to a concert. Talked about getting our anxiety and depression under control. He didn’t want to stay the night with me. After a few hours ( I was asleep) I got a few text. They didn’t make since. I text back normally no answer ( which isn’t unnormal when depressed or drinking). Tried call to tell him I talked to my landlord about him moving back and he blocked me. We fought about his ex girlfriend he never blocked her so I thought he would do it to me. We agreed to always end it face to face. So I’m not sure why he did it. He said he sees us getting married when he gets a newer car and money saved for a ring and the next day did this?? Is it really over or just need space.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
May 20, 2020 at 11:56 am
Hey there, I would suggest that you allow space and time to pass to see what he does next. Follow the information about No Contact for 30 days and then reach out with a text that Chris suggests when you have completed the 30 days
Katie
April 20, 2020 at 4:24 pm
Thanks Chris- I have been finding your blogs very helpful and they have given me a good insight into what goes on in a mans mind! They are helping me feel more positive and optimistic too 🙂 ..Love how you have a blog for almost every feeling/situation/event, will keep coming back! ..me and my ex were not officially together but dated for around a month, have now realised it will take time for things to eventually get back on track and some work and self discovery will help.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 20, 2020 at 10:32 pm
Thats great to hear Katie. I am so glad the information here is helping you
Tara
April 14, 2020 at 2:52 am
Hi! Desperately need some advice ,
A week after an amazing Valentine’s Day my boyfriend broke up with me . It was completely out of the blue and the only reason he gave was that he didn’t see it going long term and that he just had a feeling that it should end . I have been doing no contact and working on myself for the past month and I still want him back . We got along great and we only had maybe two arguments but other then that at least for me everything seemed fine . Not sure what to do . I had keys to his house and everything so it basically felt like we lived together. I want to text him because I have something of his to give back . Any advice ?? Thank you!
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 14, 2020 at 11:12 pm
Hi Tara, it sounds more as if he is having grass is greener syndrome, work on yourself for soem time following the information about the Holy Trinity and then reach out after 30 days NC
Elle
April 13, 2020 at 2:31 pm
My ex boyfriend left me last December without any explanations.first he started ghosting me for days.not answering my call or anything.I was very concerned.and thought something had gone.wrong so I got in touch with his mom to which he lived with.she was no help at all.so I decided to visit his work place unexpectedly to my suprise he told me it had nothing to do with me.it was his fault but he needed his space so he had to move out of his mom’s house.And after which he stated giving me silly excuses.please help.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 14, 2020 at 10:08 pm
Hi Elle, I would suggest you stop chasing him and take some time in NC where you work on yourself Accept that he is going through a hard time at the moment and that he needs the space. I would complete a 45 day NC and work on your Holy Trinity and then each out with a text that Chris suggests, do not go to his place of work again as this is going to get you labelled as the stalker ex and that is the last thing you want if you want to get him back
Dianna
March 27, 2020 at 6:42 pm
My ex boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago and I am just devastated. We had a good relationship… to my knowledge. My friend was talking with me about it and she said sometimes people might be feeling one way and we might never know. This greaks me out! Anywho, the night he did it he did do it in person, however, he also decieved me by acting like he was coming over for a normal Saturday night and so cruelly broke up with me. At first the reasoning wasn’t so bad because we were going different paths in the sense that I’m 35 and desire marriage and family and he is still pursuing his music and couldn’t seem to see that he could pursue that while progressing us further. We were together almost 2 years. It was 4 months shy of 2 years so that’s more than a year and a half! But he also said he just wasnt into this anymore and didnt love me anymore which I had no idea about. Aside from us going different paths, I had no idea anything else was wrong at all. We were literally soul mates! I’m just so devastated! I saw so much more of a future with us. I never thought he would blindside me like that
Jillian
March 7, 2020 at 4:04 am
Hi my ex and I broke up about 3 weeks ago out of nowhere. We had been dating for about 7 months and I know he had expressed some concerns about maybe not knowing if I was the one about 4 months in but realizing that it was wrong later. Anyway 3 weeks ago when he broke things off he didn’t really clarify. He just said that he had been going through some high functioning depression and felt like him being sad was bringing me down too and that he didn’t know what to do. That I was the longest relationship he ever had and he has never felt this way about someone. But that somethings wrong with him and he doesn’t know what. How he thinks I’ll be better off without him, happier, more successful etc. i confronted him a week ago asking him to clarify on where we stood if he just needed time apart and he said that he thinks at this point in time it’s best we just be friends. Idk what to do. I am so hurt and just heartbroken. I loved this man with alll my heart and that’s all he has to say. He can’t give me anything else. No reason at all. He won’t even meet up with me to discuss it. Help!!! What do I do.Continue the no contact period, just not talking to him.
Sophie
February 15, 2020 at 12:05 pm
Me and my ex broke up 2 days ago. He called me and just simply explained “he’s not happy in the relationship anymore” and said it’s nothing I had done. We’ve argued and we’ve had a lot of ups and downs in the 15 months we were together and this isn’t the first breakup. I’ve respected his wishes to not contact him. What I’m very concerned about is that as he suffers with his mental health, I will naturally worry about doing something to cause him to spiral or take out of context and push him away completely.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
February 17, 2020 at 10:46 am
Hi Sophie, so I would make sure that you make sure his friends or family are aware of your worries, other than that you need to stick to No Contact work on yourself in that time and then reach out with a text that Chris suggests once your 30 days are over
Channy
January 18, 2020 at 3:35 pm
I’m just really left so confused because I had been seeing this guy I met online and things were really good. He would initiate all the dates, was super affectionate even in public and just an all round gentleman. He even let me in on his hobbies, taught me how to play etc… We spent one full weekend together and it was amazing. Truly the best weekend I’ve had in a while, then a day later he sends me a long text out of nowhere detailing how he just doesn’t “feel” like we’re meant to be together and he wishes me well because I’m such a wonderful girl and he isn’t doing this to hurt my feelings. No warning at all. He seemed as happy as I was the whole weekend. I just feel he didn’t even give us a chance to get to know each other more. I was hopeful and now I’m just confused and disappointed!
Louise
January 17, 2020 at 12:41 pm
Hello,
I’m hoping for some advice. It’s been 6 weeks since my ex broke up with me. We were arguing a lot and he kept saying if we keep arguing he is going to walk away. We were planning to move in for ages and for some reason he starting getting cold feet. When he ended it, he did it very quickly and wouldn’t let me talk to him and said he was “done” talking. He collected all of his stuff and left and turned his phone off that day.
I tried to contact him but he said he needed space so I gave it to him and then a day later he messaged me asking to meet up. We met up a week after and things were getting back on track and I mentioned I threw a poem out as it was a reminder and it made me sad and then because of that he told me he was done, and it would be pointless getting back together and I would always worry. Again, we never had a proper conversation and every time I tried to message him, he said he needed space. Then when I tried to ask him he gave me a list of reasons about being compatible but still said he loves me etc. Before this he was telling me he would contact me in a couple of months and he still has hope for the relationship but I am wondering if that is just words. Then he blocked me on everything and said to leave him alone for a while, I replied and then he said it’s better if we have no contact and I have spoken to him since. I am just a bit confused whether I’ll here from him again and why he had behaved like this after so many years. I believe that he did a similar thing to his ex a few years before me but he said our relationship was different. I don’t know why he hasn’t had a proper conversation with me, when I asked he sort of blamed it on me and only really explained reasons over text but I’m not sure what are the right reasons as he was giving me mixed signals?!
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 18, 2020 at 10:58 pm
Hi Louise, try giving this article a read to see if it is helpful to you with the mixed signals, https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/decoding-the-mixed-signals-from-your-ex-boyfriend/
As for what to do right now, you need to follow the no contact rule, and work on being ungettable.
Keisha
January 8, 2020 at 1:19 am
I would really like some insight on my situation:
My ex came out of military training saying he started talking to someone else and that he’s in a relationship with her. Before then we went on break around the summer time and had on and off arguments during the summer as well. In the end we ended up being calm and still being in communication from ending August until while he was in camp. And through it all, we texted occasionally and flirted. Then he came out of camp saying he’s in a relationship with this girl. Though he was talking to both of us during the timeframe. Now he’s blocked me on social media except Facebook and iMessage. And he barely gave an explanation as to why he would leave me like this. What is his reason?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 11, 2020 at 6:51 pm
Hey Keisha, his reason he has told you, he met someone else and more likely the other person does not want him talking to you, his ex, so him blocking you is more likely going to be for that reason
sally
January 7, 2020 at 7:12 pm
My ex broke up with me 4 days ago, and some explination was given but vage, and slightly contradicting.
Our relationship was going well we would say we loved each other often, and over the christmas period we shared it together and invested in a lot of gifts.
He has been struggling with work, and thus with not in a good head space, and i casually brought up future. Then one morning via text i said he could have space if he needed as he didnt want to join plans with friends. LAter that day he asked me to come round for lunch, even telling me what was in the fridge and as soon as I walk In he ends the relationship. Saying he doesn’t love me, and can’t give me the love I deserve, He sees no future with me, or with anyone and doesn’t do relationships well and doesn’t want to be with anyone and been feeling like this for a while. That’s it. I’m confused because I don’t know if he is down and thus it’s a reaction to that, or if he is telling the truth. In the space of what seems a few days he changed his mind, without even a hint that anything was wrong with us. Work has been bad for what i feel may be the ‘long time’. I’ve reached out to say i’d like to understand what happened, but he hasn’t replied to my email.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
January 7, 2020 at 10:33 pm
Hey Sally as hard as it is, you do need to complete a No Contact, even though you want to understand more whats happened you have just accept what it is, that he is not wanting to be with you right now. Read about what the Ungettable girl is on this website and implement that to your life in all areas you can.
Shamini
January 7, 2020 at 6:27 am
Hi, my first love/ fiancé of 8 years (it would be 9 this 25th jan), just had to end this relationship 3 months before our solemnisation. The reasons he gave were bizarre like (things I might have said that hurt him, bringing up old problems, my anger issues, things that he did for me where I didn’t seem to appreciate him etc etc), I went to the extent of begging him but I didn’t know I was just pushing him away more. It’s like the first time he felt like ending this relationship. I don’t even understand until now, nor do my friends and family. I’ve always been real and not like something happened before the breakup talks. Now he won’t text or call, I’ve not seen him in 2 months plus and he just cancelled our solemnisation and a flat that we have applied together. I wish nobody ever goes through this, feels like a divorce. Still clueless what big sins I did.
Noel
January 4, 2020 at 2:32 am
I’m so distressed now as my boyfriend of 3 yrs just recently ended our relationship over Xmas time and it was complete shock to me as of why he only gave me false truths on “Its not you It’s me” . I said I wanted to know the honest reason and he said he really didn’t know and that he thought he could’ve connected to me but he couldn’t but isn’t connecting something early on to know if it is or isn’t? He started to pull away from me in the past months but we generally had a great relationship physically but he kinda lacked on explaining his emotions and feelings. I asked him if it was another woman he said NO. He said that he still wanted to be in my life and was not okay not talking to me but I’m so hurt on the fact that he couldn’t be truthful with me on what I did wrong or what went wrong and for us to want to fix it right now I’m in the no contact rule and he still has things of my stuff at his place so in the future I will be going to pick it up and hopefully he will tell me the real reason but I don’t know why he said that he couldn’t connect with me I’m a very easy-going person and I’m very open with my feelings so I’m just so distraught and just don’t know what to do.
Merrily MacIntosh
November 24, 2019 at 5:17 pm
I am a widow…my husband was killed in an accident nearly 3 years ago. In late July, August this year a friendship with a work colleague morphed into a relationship. It felt natural and mutual and he was incredibly happy, saying so to me and others, as did I. He basically lived at my place which was never a discussion but a natural progression… I didn’t feel unsure and neither did he. I introduced him to my family and my late husband’s family and he was all about it.. I also met his family and kids…always with affection and sweet acknowledgements, cute text messages…until about five days ago when his behaviour shifted subtly…less kissy emojis, moodiness, etc… I let it go for a few days until I had a full on panic attack and needed to say something to him… to note, before saying anything, he was here with me, did his laundry, hung it up in the closet and so on, with every intention of still being here…I essentially asked him what the change in certain behaviour was about and to clarify, he was working so it was in the phone…he said he was just moody and struggled with downtime, being bored but thanked me for saying something so that he could do better… then he wrote in a text asking if we could talk in person later as he isn’t good with phone feelings… I said sure…when he got home, he basically sat me down and said his heart was somewhere else??? What??? I was literally speechless because we were happy and planning a future…there was an ex but she lived somewhere else but this is who he was speaking about…makes absolutely no sense to me… I swear he had no intention of going anywhere had I not brought it up, but I couldn’t not say something… I’m utterly devastated and confused… he has deep feelings for me I have no doubt… one thing I should mention is that he is a recovering addict , 15 years clean, and this other person is also an addict in recovery …please help me to understand? I don’t know what to do… my heart was fragile and he knew it, knowing my whole story and being a widow
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
November 24, 2019 at 6:46 pm
Hi Merrily so if he is telling you his heart is else where, is he telling you it is over? Or is he telling you he is feeling distant at the moment. If you are still together then just give him some head space and you do your own thing. Dont chase him. Showing him you will not run around after him is important as if you were to hassle him and chase him you would just push him away even more than you have.
Kaitlyn
November 20, 2019 at 2:43 am
I was with this guy for 3 years. Recently we became a little bit of long distance. I’d see him on weekends and he’s been really busy with work and school it seemed to stress him out a lot. Things seemed normal for us though and we were good as always. On our 3 year anniversary weekend he texted me saying he’s lost on everything and he wouldn’t explain. I went up to see him and he told me he’s “lost himself” and that he loves me and that he needs time to reflect and has felt unhappy and out of touch with life for a while now and that this wasn’t my fault. I was left hurt and confused but tried to understand. He also said he needed a break and didn’t say break-up. He said he’d need probably 2 months to himself. A week later I reached out because the reasoning didn’t seem to make sense to me. He also deleted pictures and seemed to be moving on and this confused me because he seemed to be moving on when he called it a break. He kept telling me it was because he wants time for himself and that deleting the pictures hurt him too. He said he was guessing on the time period with needing 2 months and can’t put a time frame on when he’ll be ready. I asked if he’s moving on and if I’m wasting my time waiting around for him and he said I shouldn’t let him hold me back from anything in life and that “he guesses for now” he’s done but later in life we can reconnect. I’m getting more and more confused because he seems confused. He also said he doesn’t want a relationship right now with anyone and just wants to be on his own for now. It really did come out of no where when we were in such a healthy relationship. I don’t know how he could do this and why he would. He broke things off almost a month ago and I haven’t contacted him in 2 weeks. I’m trying to do the no contact but he hasn’t attempted to reach out and it hurts that he seems to just move on easily and not care to check up on me. I feel like the stress of seeing me every weekend to please me and about work and school has made him very stressed. I don’t know if I should wait for him to reach out to me if he ever does again or if I should wait after 30 days to reach out to him. And if I should say how I still feel about him or to keep it brief conversation. I still love him and want him in my life because we were great together I just feel he lost sight of that and it hurts.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
November 23, 2019 at 10:17 pm
Hey Kaitlyn so it does sound like you need to complete your NC and in that time make sure you are doing things with your friends and showing through social media you are living your life and getting on with things. When your No contact of 30 days is over and you reach out you need to do so as a friend.