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Kellie Ruschmyer
March 24, 2019 at 4:38 pm
Hello there, so my boyfriend of 10 1/2 years broke up with me. We split 4 years ago on him also,so I got very independent and I think because I was focusing on my kids getting a divorce I was going to be helping my daughter-in-law with the grandkids and I told him of this plan for the next year while she was in school although he and I never live together the past 4 years I felt we were kind of drifted apart but yet not always. He also quit his job a year ago did he was making decent money at and now works at a small job not making half of what he made so I’m not really sure what’s going on in his head he really has hurt my heart and why do people say he ain’t right I’m not sure what to do my feelings and he knows it for us to have a future when I was to buy a house for him to live with me I could not live with him again and his grown daughter because they have caused a lot of problems in the past I think he’s mad at me it doesn’t understand I’m still confused and heartbroken and somewhere would still like to have a future with him thank you Kelly
DS
February 23, 2019 at 11:29 am
My boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me in person, but said he couldn’t explain to me in person yet, that he would later. Is this a lie? He tried to say part of it was “for my own good” because I deserved someone “smarter” but I never said or felt that way. I’m a wreck because I did not see it coming. Just one week earlier we went out with another couple for dinner and it was this that finally convinced me to let my internal guards down, to let myself believe in the happiness. Exactly 7 days later I was told “he didn’t feel ready for a relationship” which after some shock he broadened to “a relationship with you”. But nothing else. The only sign was less contact then usual the past week but I assumed he was very busy and that he was tired from his shift work.
I’m a wreck I’m living in a new city, I have no friends or family here and I don’t want to worry my family back home. For the first time in a decade I felt everything was coming together for once, and as soon as I let myself feel this I was punished.
Latifah
February 18, 2019 at 11:57 pm
I have been dating this guy for 3 years now,but all over sudden he just changed he doesn’t call me with an excuse he doesn’t want to have a phone so his two lines are switched off but recently I realised he has a new line and its always on and he doesn’t call,,,sometimes i feel like he has left me its just that he doesn’t want to say it,,,help a confused lady here please
Annonymous
February 16, 2019 at 3:14 am
Hi!
So I’ve been back and forth with this guy for 6 years now, since high school. And we went a period of time without talking. He’s had other girlfriends in between. There was a period we didn’t talk and all communication was cut off, he blocked me on every social media, including my number.
We made contact about 6 months after not talking, he reached out and we hit it off. We had arguments throughout the past 6 months due to our long past and me trying to get over my insecurities. We talked it out every time and made sure we were always on the same page. With one of our recent arguments, he got frustrated and asked for space. So i gave it to him and reached out after and we discussed everything and came to the decision that we would work on things so we could make it work. Things seemed off and i reached out again and that’s when he told me he was no longer sure if he still wanted to be wirh me. He didn’t say much, i did most of the talking. He abruptly said i need space and when i asked if it was over he said yes and hung up. I tried to reach out aftwe but he ignored me and we haven’t talked since. I haven’t reached, I’ve left him alone.
I’m just really confused and unsure what to do.
Chris Seiter
February 17, 2019 at 1:25 am
Hey there A!
6 years is some serious traction which could be a factor down the road. So the word “space” keeps coming up from him, so I think implementing No Contact would be the right way to roll with this, but be sure to do so in the way I teach it in my Program!
Teresa
October 27, 2018 at 11:24 pm
Hi so ive been having a hard time with my ex we dated like a year ago he left me with no explantion. i was always thier for him treating him right Loving him making him happy he will be really sweet and nice too but he cheated on me a lot of times and of course i got hurt i got back with him even if he did something stupid but. i feel like he had a hard time telling me how he feel and i feel like he had a rough life as well but i know that he love me and me too but. i dont understand why he left me with no explantion its been a long time i havent heard from him im in a new relationship right now im happy and in love but why does my ex boyfreind name come in my head or have dreams or one time i thought i saw a guy that looked like him. i love my new boyfreind yes but i will never let go how much i love my ex. when he left me like a year ago and say a week later one of his freinds text me saying hey your boyfreind is on vaccation he wanted to let you know that he love you soo much and misses you i reply saying oh tell him i love him too and to be safe and to please text me so when i wanted to text his freind he block me and i havent heard again from him idk if that was him or his freind saying that but i was happy when i heard he misses me and love and well i just wanted to let this out thank you for this article you wrote i learn a from it.
Chris Seiter
October 28, 2018 at 4:22 am
Hi Teresa!
Thanks for dropping in to say hello and I appreciate you kind words. You are a real gem!
Taylor
October 2, 2018 at 3:47 am
Hello there,
It was really out of the blue. Basically in the time we’ve been dating he initiated everything, he told me he loved me first, said I was the best thing that happened to him. He always geeked over me, like there wasn’t a time he didn’t say I was his perfect girl, prettiest girl he had ever seen, his love. He always said I can’t chase him away he’s stuck with me now. He asked me to move in with him too. I said isn’t it abit too fast and that I don’t want the same thing happening like it did with his ex but he reassured me that we are different and that wont happen. He reassured me with everything Said it’s always been me. All of this, stuff I never expected, like I’m not a fan of fairy tale stuff but he said it. I met his whole family, was there when things got real tough for him and eventually I let my walls down and fell for him. I already got out of a relationship where there was none of that. He asked me to do long distance and I was unsure, but he said we can do this its like 12 trips to your house and mine Auckland isn’t that far. He planned for us to move to Auckland, he moved three weeks ago, he was so grateful I agreed and decided to stick by. I still love him like that wont fade, I’ve never felt this way about anyone so strongly it took me a while but it did happen, he was great at communication like he wouldn’t let us go to sleep on a bad note and talk it out. Like it was such a good relationship, he was really low about a month ago and said I was the only thing keeping him going, he got out of that because he left that job and then the next week he was in Auckland with a new license and new job, new city. I was supposed to move down in two months time. BUT on Thursday there was a job going at his uncles company for me and so I basically could’ve got it I got the email to come down to meet them about it and I had a pretty good chance of getting it, basically did have it and he said just move in with him and his mum until we get our flat. I’ve always been cautious like this thinking everything was moving so fast but he was always so reassuring, kept telling me it’s fine and telling my family and everyone that he cant wait to move in with me, he was just always happy, as was I, he got me, knew how to handle me and guide me and grow with me. So on Friday night after two weeks appart he came over, perfect night, I got him his favourite treats and everything like usual and we were just us, the next morning was great we woke up goofy and giggling and just happy, dropped me off at work and said he cant wait for us to go to work together and come home together, picked me up from work, everything was fine like you can tell when someone was off and he wasn’t at all. Then he came up from his haircut and it took a while like nearly 2 hours, then he came back to mine, we were supposed to meet my family and he said he cant move in with me it was moving so fast and then didn’t speak and I asked if he was breaking up with me and he said yes. Basically he said he cant keep fixing people when he cant fix himself, that he cant do long distance even when I offered to move down there but not with him, he said no it wouldn’t have made a difference He needs to sort himself out and that “he’s going on a different path”, he said the love is there and he still cares. I asked is it the right person wrong time and he didn’t answer and I also asked if there could be something for us in the future and he said he doesn’t want to make any promises he cant keep. But followed with “you were my friend first and will always be my friend, I’ve always considered you as one of my best friends.” We have history, feelings and kinda seem to gravitate towards one another, throughout he kept saying this feels right and it’s kinda like we are meant to be together after everything that’s happened, he said it’s always been me. He knows everything about me and so do I about him. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before and its just killing me because I could be there in two weeks from now. So I’m actually abit low and lost. I’ve picked a little bit from then, because what else and I supposed to do. People said if he felt so strongly about me, he wouldn’t have broken up with me, others have told me it all became too real so he bailed on me. I understand that he would be feeling overwhelmed from everything thats happened in such a small space of time, happening all at once, I want to give him and give me space. Our mutual friend has been from that start said I need to put my foot down and send him something like I deserve a proper explantation as to as why it ended out of the blue, that if he were in my shoes. Now I’m just scared he will be too guilty to talk to me again, and I don’t want that. I still want to be with him because our relationship was so good! It flowed and it felt right and fitting. Could there be a chance after the no contact period that he could reach out? Or want to re-kindle things? We’ve always been friends and we always care about one another, I’m just scared.
Chris Seiter
October 2, 2018 at 3:58 am
Hi Taylor…that is quite a story. A lot going on! I think it would be a mistake to press for why it ended. Guys do and say stupid things all the time. Its better to go into no contact, implementing it the way I teach. Go pick up one of my eBooks so you are up to speed on the whole post breakup strategy. Its more involved than people realize.
Noreen
September 22, 2018 at 7:46 am
I met this guy once and dated him for two days before he want back to his country Japan.When he was in Japan he courted me they text. So I had a long distance relationship with this guy last March and it lasted for a month only. Suddenly I don’t received any text or call from him. The last thing I could remember is we were doing very well, no argument and fights. He’s so sweet and caring and calls me everyday even when he’s busy.after a week I received a call from him and I asked him if we were over,he said NO we are still together,I thanked him for that and I know he can feel that I already love him,but the next morning I didn’t get any messages again. Until a few months I tried to forget him.Just this July 2018 he came back to my country,we talked about what had happened for the past couple of months. We got back together and this September I fly to see him in Japan. I spent two weeks with him(all in his expense) everything was going well,we build memories together and it’s like we are inseparable. When it’s time for me to go back to my own country, Sept 18,2018 we were still talking and exchanging words how sad it is to be far from each other and we even planned that he’s going to see me on November and I will be flying back to Japan on January. But on the 20th of September I woke up without any messages from him up to now. My messages hasn’t been read. I tried to call but he never picked up. Now I’m really confused what’s going on and I’m having a hard time understanding everything. Please give me some advice.Thank you!
Chris Seiter
September 23, 2018 at 4:52 pm
Hi Noreen!
Not sure what is going on with him. Perhaps wait a week before reaching out again.
Pauline
August 27, 2018 at 12:49 am
Hi there
My partner of 2 years has been ghosting me over the last few weeks. No forewarning that something was wrong. It seemed to be going well despite the temporary long-distance we had to go through. I thought it was nothing we couldn’t handle, especially since we had been making plans to spend our life together before the long-distance. Then complete silence, no response to calls except one where he said he was busy and loved me which I found hard to believe. He probably met someone else and didn’t have the courage to tell me. In hindsight, maybe him leaving even temporarily was an excuse. Just took me a while to realise as I was so sure of us and he was the person I wanted to grow old with.
Whatever the reason, I’m feeling deeply hurt by his attitude but I don’t want him back. I am still deeply in love with him and may always be to some level. But I deserve so much better than to be treated so disrespectfully by someone I’ve invested so much with. There can be no future with someone I don’t trust nor respect anymore. I just wish the excruciating pain I’m feeling was over. Any suggestions?
Chris Seiter
August 27, 2018 at 3:41 am
Hi Pauline….I understand why you would feel so hurt. What he did was wrong. I agree with your sentiments. Your focus should be on healing. Watch some of the podcasts I have on this site that can help you in this regard. Also, my book, “The No Contact Rule Book” (247 pages) deals with healing and recovery in depth.
roxar
August 16, 2018 at 7:23 am
He ghosted me, we had 2 dates and text rel in 6 months. after 6 months of no contact, he went back to his ex.he was 1.5 years rel with his ex I was the rebound girl. he blocked me and left me without any reason. but wondering why he chases me on the street. whenever he sees me on the street he comes closer to make sure I can see him in his car. even he turned interior lights on at night to make sure I can see him. but he is with his ex and happy.
Chris Seiter
August 17, 2018 at 2:23 pm
Hi Roxar!
I know that is hard being ghosted and rejected like that. And I know its confusing when he come on to you. You are so much a better person than him and can find someone much better for you.
nikita
May 9, 2018 at 11:29 am
hi chris
the reason he broke up with me so he said- coz he doesn’t love me. and perhaps he didn’t love me at all (I almost laughed at his face).
I would like to know if he does answer to all my sms really fast but won’t suggest anything – should I apply another nc?
we broke up 2 months ago after 3 years, i haven’t pleaded, 24 days of nc, and one meeting to take his stuff from me, and suggestion coming from him to go to a movie – which didn’t happen.
we both over 40. I’m older than him…
in my texts to him I’m very nice, correct, but not suggesting anything more – because I want him to really want me and I know he is on rebound for sure, he is very stubborn and Repressing things….
I really think we meant for each other. we have a lot in common.
what to do?
thanks…
Chris Seiter
May 10, 2018 at 1:47 am
Hey Nikita….yeah..guys can say really stupid things. Half of the time, they are not that connected to what they really want or what is best for them. Other stuff can get in the way and they end up deluding themselves. You are right…the NC process is to help improve your value as he realizes over time that what he use to take for granted can be potentially lost. It also allows you to reevaluate, based on developments, if you wish to invest any more in the relationship. Even the stubborn ones will eventually find the truth that is inside them if it is being repressed.
Janay
May 3, 2018 at 5:07 pm
My boyfriend broke up with me because he thinks I love to start drama.When reality I just only told him what happened but he went to confront the girl. He blames me for her back lashing abt the situation when he didn’t have to contact her in the first place. He also wanted to be done because I usually vent to my friends and try to get guidance. My friend became angry because he mentions her everytime we argue. So she confronted him but he blames me for wt she did when all I did was tell what happened. Everybody says I’m not in the wrong and that he is I know this. We are not talking, he took me off Snapchat but still has me on Twitter, instagram, and Facebook, what could that mean? Just him wanting to see what I’m doing or not losing all of his feelings for me? He has cheated on me more than once by talking to multiple girls , but I forgave him and was willing to work on it with him. But he dumps me for something little? Plz help
Chris Seiter
May 3, 2018 at 9:32 pm
Hi Janay…it seems he wants to keep the indirect lines of communication open with you. I really think you should pick up my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery” and come up to speed on how to proceed going forward. I think No Contact is in order given the history between you. Your ex has some serious thinking he need to do as this cheating behavior is toxic to any relationship. But more importantly, you need the space to clear your mind, heal, and get more grounded. You may feel differently about him later. We’ll see. So go my website Menu/click Products link and learn more about some of the resources available to you. If you are going to execute a plan, you what it to be based on an effective strategy so you can better your chances.
Anon
April 28, 2018 at 3:48 pm
Hi EBR,
I have been back together with my bf for a few months now (thanks to you) after being broken up for about a year. However, lately I feel him pushing away from me… Emotionally and physically. He won’t tell me what is wrong and keeps saying everything is fine. If he is having doubts about us/me…what do I do?
Thanks.
Chris Seiter
April 28, 2018 at 11:34 pm
Hi Anon…some guys just don’t open themselves up emotionally, so it can be hard to tell what he is really thinking. Avoid pressing the topic for now and see if his demeanor changes. Sometimes pressing a guy too much can be a turn off. Eventually, if something is bottled up inside him, it will come out.
Jayne
April 24, 2018 at 8:56 am
I dated my ex for 6 months but we had known each other for nearly 25 years, it was a ldr of some 3000kms, we seemed to be good although he came on pretty strong as did l, (yep, passion crash and burn) bought me presents, paid for me to fly over to see him, told me l was amazing and that he loved me, we both had an awesome time! He started to shift the goalposts (even though he continued to ring me every night) saying he was looking forward to ‘me time’ after getting out of a 12 year relationship although they had been in seperate bedrooms for 5 years, he came back to our hometown to clear out his house as he had to sell it to settle with her, when l asked what was going on as he seemed to want me on his terms, he got up and loudly exclaimed that he never wanted a girlfriend again! The he said she said, needy/clingy and then told me l had to go, he left town without another word, l’m 47 and he is 60, l’m a bloody catch and he knows it, we have had sporadic contact over the last 6 months initiated by me which pretty much led to talks about the amazing sex we had, which l got sick of and he was all over my Facebook feed.
After 6 months he sent me Valentine’s Day flowers with a note from ‘your secret lover’ our last conversation was me saying l was going to block him on Facebook for my own wellbeing, he replied saying l love you and always will but l can’t give you what you want (full committed love). I can’t tell whether l’m dealing with a narcissist or an emotionally unavailable man and if he does need time on his own is he likely to come back to me? l’m a lot better now but the heartbreak was excruciating, how can a human being do that to another human? just get up and take off! especially when the two of you were madly in Love!
Chris Seiter
April 24, 2018 at 3:15 pm
Hi Jayne….some guys are into themselves and just mainly their own needs. Seems like doesn’t want to be tied down based on his words and actions. I am glad you are doing better. Focus on those things that bring you fulfillment in your life. There are so many paths you can take and you know deep down you don’t need him in your life to be happy. As more time goes by, you will likely gain an even fuller perspective of whether you want any interactions with him anymore.
Hannah
April 23, 2018 at 2:58 am
Hi, just wondering if you could give some insights into the quiz on your chances of getting back with an ex? Is there an ideal percentage that has a high likelihood of getting back together? What’s the number that you’d recommend to move on? I got 43, does that mean I should give up? Looking forward to your reply!
Chris Seiter
April 23, 2018 at 5:05 am
Hi Hannah…great question. A score of 43 is in the average range. Most folks have about a 35-45% chance of getting back with their ex. Of course it varies for each couple depending on a host of variables. Those percentages can improve quite substantially if you have a plan or Guide (such as my core ebook) that shows you all the ropes of what to do and how to do it and when. Don’t give up Hannah until your have exhausted all of the Tactics discussed in my ebook.
Chris Seiter
April 23, 2018 at 5:05 am
Hi Hannah…great question. A score of 43 is in the average range. Most folks have about a 35-45% chance of getting back with their ex. Of course it varies for each couple depending on a host of variables. Those percentages can improve quite substantially if you have a plan or Guide (such as my core ebook) that shows you all the ropes of what to do and how to do it and when. Don’t give up Hannah until your have exhausted all of the Tactics discussed in my ebook.
Ronena
April 20, 2018 at 7:10 am
I can relate to this article but it hurt so much he left me for not logical reasons after telling me that he is ready to take our relationship into the next step in the same month he left me I was in a very good 5 years relationship I don’t know what to do I talked to him several times and nothing changed all of his friends are telling me that he is fine and not even sad a little, this is another thing that I cannot handle I am not talking about a month or year we was together for 5 years he wasn’t just a lover but a father a brother and my best friend, I cannot imagine proceeding my live without him and it hurt so much I feel worthy, deeply inside I know that I didn’t do anything wrong and that’s makes me feel even worse, last time I called him I told him that I want to feel bad I want you to tell me a reason that I deserve to be left for he didn’t answer, how could someone stop loving suddenly when he at the same month decide to take the relationship into the next level, could I get over it and be normal again I cannot even smile all I felt is pain.
Chris Seiter
April 20, 2018 at 4:20 pm
Hi Ronena…5 years does put down roots so you can leverage that. I know the pain is bad..it hurts so much. Do this for me. Start a journal and write down your feelings and your story. It will help remove a lot of your pain that is inside of you to the page. Its very therapeutic and will help you in many ways. As to the breakup, going forward you want to have a plan. So take a look at one of my comprehensive Companion Guides (Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro) that can help you with your plan going forward. Just go to my website Menu/Products link to learn more about some of the resources. But is it very important you undergo some healing and my ebooks will help you with that.
amy
April 18, 2018 at 11:39 am
Hi! So I need some desperate help with my ex situation! This is probably WAAAY too much info – but I’m desperate
A quick recap on our relationship and what happened through the last 6 months of our relationship was unbearable. Basically he is an elite sportsman and so am I.
From the very beginning he chased me for a year, he asked me to be his girlfriend after a month or so of dating, he said I love you first, he asked me to move in after 3 months (I didn’t until we were together 6 months) we only slept together once we were official. He constantly talked about getting married and having kids and being together forever.
Then August 2017 I fell pregnant and due to the fact we weren’t ready, I had a termination. I was then emotionally trying to come to terms with everything that made me seem like a different person. Not long after I was diagnosed with an AVM in my uterus.
His position in his football club was threatened, he was told he had to leave the club and then they also said he might not play in one of the finals games which screwed him around mentally.
They said he was leaving then he played one of the best games of his career and then they said he cannot leave after he mentally came to terms with leaving and finding a new home etc ..
He then went down to Melbourne where he is from and
His parents then sold the family home and the family beach house and relocated, his dog was then hit by a car and ran away for a few days.
He came back to Sydney and he was a different person, he was so angry and agressive all the time. Did not appreciate me or a single thing I did for him, we were fighting all the time, having shitty sex and then we went to Perth for a wedding where we had a huge argument and that’s when I went he’s going to break up with me soon.
He left to go to Melbourne then we broke up on the 23rd of December 2017, 2 days before Christmas, on my mums birthday, over the phone and he was drunk. He was in Melbourne and I was in Sydney. I moved everything out of his house and moved back to my parents.
We didn’t speak for 2 weeks while he was away in Melbourne with his family, as soon has he gets to Melbourne airport to come back to Sydney he calls and messages 5 times within 5 minutes. I answered and he wanted to see me and talk about everything.
I saw him and we cried and argued and spoke and a stupidly slept with him. His reasoning was “he had to push me to do things in life” he hated that I would be home when I got home, I wasn’t doing enough in my life even though I work as a model, I’m an athlete that trains everyday and I am at university, I would cook, clean and do washing but I still wasn’t doing anything?
For about a month he was begging for me back, going well and truly out of his way, being better than he ever was, he said he missed me and loved me and wanted to be with me and then it suddenly slowed down. I then got into his Instagram and he later found out and was very angry but we continued to work of things and of course I continued to sleep with him.
Then we started fighting a lot again, says he wants to be with me, I’m the best person he has ever met, his feelings haven’t changed but right now he cant commit. I go away for work and he’s like I wish I was there with you, I miss you, I feel like you’re done with me, I just want to talk to you. So he is really contradicting himself!! Says he doesn’t want to fall back into the same hole we were in, but the only reason we fight is because he won’t commit and I’m not feeling secure in what were doing.
When he was in Melbourne a few weeks ago I saw his snapchat location and it was at a house he was going to a lot over the 2 weeks we weren’t speaking I searched it on the white pages and it came up with his first girlfriends name and now I have no idea what to do ..
I haven’t told him I searched it, I’ve asked about the house and he said it is his friend house even though I have proof it is not. I just desperately need help.
I am still so in love with him, and I want him back but I don’t know if I should move past this ex girlfriends house situation or if I need to bring it up with him.
Sorry about it being so long! Obviously there was a lot more of him begging to see me and be with me but this would be a 60 page letter!
Thank you in advance (its quite a unique situation)
Chris Seiter
April 18, 2018 at 11:01 pm
Hi Amy! Up and down relationships can put strain on the couple, but there is always upside potential if you have a well thought out plan to execute. By the way, it might help you to start a journal. Just writing down your thoughts can be therapeutic and help clear the mind and discover things about yourself and what is important. Taking some time to heal and get some perspective will also help. Have you picked up a copy of my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro (website Menu/Products Page) as it is incredibly comprehensive and would likely help you. It appears there is still a lot more in this relationship chapter story to be told.
Lola
April 16, 2018 at 4:01 pm
Hi, Could you advise me what should I do in my case. My ex broke up with me 1 year ago. Since that time we were always in touch, sometimes pretending to be friends but most of the time just arguing. but still we were pretty close. After 8 months I got into relationship with his friend, not very close but still friend. We kept it secret and during this time I didn’t want to talk to my ex and I was in no contact for about month. I texted him after a month to ask for my money back and told him I’m seeing someone else. Suddenly he said he love me and wants me back and we will fix everything. I told him it’s impossible cos I’m with someone else and told him it’s his friend. He got very mad, said very bad things about me and him. Told me my bf was cheating on and many other things he knew about him as they were friends. I broke up with the guy and told my ex I wanted to try again but he didn’t want to after I was with his friend.. It was round Novemeber. We were always in touch since then. Most of the time me trying to convince him to forgive me and come back He said I did he worst thing I could do and betrayed him, he said I could find any other guy but I chose his find to hurt him and he can’t even look at me anymore. Since January things got better, we met couple times and have sex. Every time after we seeing each other we argue cos I want commitment and he still saying I’ve ruined everything. He wants to be friends but saying we have this sexual connection like with no one else so he can’t help himself when we seeing each other. But he can’t forgive me. Last week he told me he’s seeing someone cos he’s trying to move on like I do. He still wanted to sleep with me thou when I went to get my things from his flat. I got mad again and told I will leave him alone now. We talk yesterday, he’s always making some nasty comments about my ex – his friend and he told me he can’t even enjoy sex with someone else cos thinking about me. He was upset cos he have problems in his life right now and he opened up to me which he almost never do. I was happy he came to me with his problems but asked about his girlfriend he said he trust me cos we’re friend and know me long time. But I flipped out, told him he’s asking me for help also financial help, so I’m taking all the crap and she’s taking benefits. I told him to stop games, to leave her and come back to me cos I love him and we can fix things, He got upset and told me he thought we are friends even if he’s seeing someone else he can talk to me. I told him that I’m sorry and it doesn’t seem like we have the same feelings and block him. What should I do? I’ve tried no contact many times but we can’t keep it longer than a week. I don’t even know if this girl is real or he’s just making it up. He is a very handsome man, he can have any girl he wants but he’s not a player type. We are still really close, we have great sexual attraction. It seems like he won’t forgive me but he was the one who left me in the first place an I wasn’t seeing someone after 8 months of a break up. It’s been more than a year now and we still in the same situation… Please advice what to do
Chris Seiter
April 18, 2018 at 12:54 am
Hi Lola! Yep….lots of history here. That can be good and bad. But having a plan and executing it can optimize you chances. Being close and sexually attracted is important. I think you should pick up a copy of the No Contact Rulebook or my ebook, Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro and really get up to speed on a plan and learn about the benefits of No Contact. 1 week often doesn’t get it done. He seems to be working through his complicated feelings and you should learn more about optimizing the Principle of Phsychological Reactance. To learn more about some of these ebook resources, you can go to my website Menu/Products link. Yes, its unclear to me as well as to whether she is the girl for him. Time will reveal the truth.
Cara
April 13, 2018 at 5:20 pm
Hi,
Isn’t one major reason guys break up without an explanation is because they want the opportunity to COME BACK in case it doesn’t work out with some other girl or they work out their issues? In other words other guy friends have told me that most guys will NEVER burn a bridge if they think they can get sex from an ex girlfriend? Is that true and then how does one reconcile that with if they do come back…it doesn’t feel good to know they only saw you as a option?
Chris Seiter
April 14, 2018 at 3:29 am
Yes, Cara..I think some guys operate with that kind of mindset. But it is sad if they behave this way because of what you said. He would want them back if they are so classless.
Bianca
March 12, 2018 at 1:26 am
I had been with my boyfriend for 5 months now. My boyfriend recently just broke up with me at random, I had seen him on Thursday night and everything fine he was normal and happy and we were happy he told me he loved me and nothing could seriously have been any better. After I left I hadn’t been receiving texts from him as well as him not returning my calls. I got scared and began to constantly call and text because I was confused and didn’t know what was going on. I ended up venting to a friend and told them my situation recently with my boyfriend. They had gotten mad and had a go at him because that wasn’t acceptable to them. My boyfriend later dumped me that night, I don’t remember what he said much because I didn’t really read into it because I was freaking out. All I can remember was that he had been thinking for a while and he doesn’t think the relationship could continue but he was proud of me for what I have achieved in my life so far. I had lived with him for the past month because of family problems and is dropping out of school, I’m back at home now and I’m now trying the no talk fase because I hold onto the hope that if he seriously loved me over time he may miss me. He never showed any sign that he was going to leave me if he stayed the same and happy.
Misunderstood
February 9, 2018 at 8:46 am
I feel hurt that someone broke up with me out of the blue. Since I feel like I tried to be the best girlfriend I can be, why would I want someone who could not respect me enough without giving me a proper explaination. It seems like we have always change and alter ourselves for someone’s liking. I just wanted and deserved an explanation. There is no reason to attempt to win him back.