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2,569 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You”

  1. Elisa

    April 8, 2014 at 2:51 pm

    Hello Chris,

    My ex boyfriend blocked my phone number, then whatsapp also doesn’t work at the same time and he unfriend me on Facebook. He said it’s end between us, don’t contact him again when he did it one month ago, he was annoyed by my texts from time to time. But he still keeps me as a contact on Linkedin, another tool. I think he didn’t block my email as well. So I can still contact him actually. I have completed 30 days NC since that. I sent a short email yesterday, just asked how he is doing, and told him I got myself back since he blocked me which is true, mentioned how things went wrong with between us with a short sentence. then let him don’t feel bad to blocked me and said intense words, I’m ok. I didn’t know why I suddenly sent the email, I just woke up, and felt like must do it yesterday. After 30 days NC, I know I truly miss him, not because I’m alone. Should I go another NC? he hasn’t answer or unblocked me, I am not sure if he unblocked me on his phone or not, just still not able to see his status on Whatsapp. Do you think it’s a good sign that he didn’t block me completely? Is that ok I sent that email?

    1. Elisa

      April 9, 2014 at 5:17 am

      Please respond, I would really appreciate your advice. Thanks.

    2. Elisa

      April 11, 2014 at 6:03 pm

      How to make him unblock me?

    3. admin

      April 12, 2014 at 4:08 pm

      Well, if he hasn’t already and its been a long time that isn’t a good sign. Do you have any other way of reaching out to him?

    4. Elisa

      April 13, 2014 at 5:50 pm

      Facebook message still working, he just unfriend me on Facebook. I can reach him via email, linkedin message, other message applications. I sent a message to him on Facebook yesterday, he said don’t contact him again, he doesn’t want to see me or/and talk to me. So I asked him why he is so mad at me, let him talk to me when he is not angry anymore, don’t be strangers. He read my messages next day, he doesn’t want me text him, but he read my email and messages. What can I do now?

    5. Elisa

      April 19, 2014 at 5:43 pm

      I want to contact him every day, but I’m controlling myself hard. There are still many ways to contact him, I don’t want to ruin anything more, make any mistake more. We have one common friend, should I talk to him about us? I met him cause of this friend. our friend doesn’t know anything about us yet, cause he lives in another country. I got a part-time job, but I got to know it’s just next to his place at first day work. And I got a job interview from a company, failed, but the company still offers me another chance, and the office is in the city where he is going to move… I don’t know if it’s coincidence or nothing. Could you tell me what to do? Thank you, looking forward to hear from you soon.

    6. Elisa

      April 20, 2014 at 3:10 am

      Should I try to contact him after waiting for him longer?

    7. admin

      April 20, 2014 at 8:57 pm

      I don think it can hurt.

    8. Elisa

      April 30, 2014 at 5:43 pm

      He seems blocked me on Facebook, I can’t see his Facebook page anymore. There is nothing more I can do anymore, he won’t talk to me anymore, right?

    9. Elisa

      June 19, 2014 at 6:37 pm

      Hello Chris,

      It’s 50 days NC already. nothing change, he didn’t unblock me. Just saw a pic from our common friend, he is traveling in other country now. Sometime I think about him, like today when I saw the pic, felt not good. He seems have forgotten me completely, happy in his trip. I’m smiling as I can everyday, go to gym, take classes to learn something new, work hard, signed another contract with my company, more income as well. I don’t know if I should contact him or not, my friends said he doesn’t deserve me, let me forget him, meet someone new. I’m not meeting anyone new yet, but trying to not think about him now. Do you still think it’s working between us if I contact him now or later?

    10. Elisa

      June 1, 2014 at 2:36 pm

      but he hasn’t unblocked me… still contact him?

    11. Elisa

      May 30, 2014 at 4:44 pm

      I completed 30 days NC. What should I do? Keep NC?

    12. admin

      May 31, 2014 at 3:50 pm

      Time to contact him.

    13. Elisa

      May 24, 2014 at 3:26 pm

      Chris, It’s 24days NC now. He didn’t unblock me, maybe he has a new girl already.. I don’t know, it’s been almost 4 months now. What should I do, contact him after 6 days or keep on NC?

    14. Elisa

      May 15, 2014 at 5:45 pm

      Do you still think I should contact him when I finish another 30 days NC? It’s 16 days NC already. Or just leave him alone for a long time.

    15. Elisa

      May 14, 2014 at 8:23 pm

      He is not active for any social media usually. Use messages, post stuff rarely, just some football, music stuff sometimes, he use fb to message or keep in touch with friends. He use linkedin, just changed a profile pic which he never changed before, he might see I viewed his profile a few days ago, but didn’t delete me.

    16. Elisa

      May 13, 2014 at 5:13 pm

      But why does he still keep me on Linkedin, he could just block me everywhere, he only blocked me the tools that I tried to contact him.

    17. admin

      May 14, 2014 at 3:53 pm

      Is he super active on Linkedin?

    18. Elisa

      May 13, 2014 at 5:05 pm

      What do you mean? What should I do tho?

    19. Elisa

      May 12, 2014 at 8:48 pm

      It doesn’t work for him. He still hasn’t unblocked me from any, I am not sure if he unblock me from his phone, didn’t try anymore. Probably still block. If he doesn’t unblock me, then he still hasn’t changed his mind at all, am I right? How can I try to talk to him in the worst situation like this.. I really can’t see any hope now. Chris, you met a really tough case, I can’t do anything, can’t try to talk to him anymore, can’t talk to our common friend anything, just wait for miracle if that happens…

    20. admin

      May 13, 2014 at 4:42 pm

      Not necessarily… he could just be too proud.

    21. Elisa

      May 10, 2014 at 3:56 am

      How and what is more compelling text? His reaction is too strong, cold, and hurt me. I don’t really know what to do at all.

    22. admin

      May 12, 2014 at 5:19 pm

      Have you read any of the guides where I dive in to that?

    23. Elisa

      May 9, 2014 at 5:55 am

      Why do you still think I can contact him again? It’s 10 days NC now after I tried the second time. He blocked me on FB this time. I have told him I will not try anymore, leave him alone by email, if I contact him, won’t him think I am crazy etc.. Chris, miss him, but I’m afraid of contacting him now.

    24. admin

      May 9, 2014 at 3:44 pm

      Because you probably just need a more compelling text.

    25. Elisa

      May 7, 2014 at 5:10 pm

      No, I didn’t memorize his number, but I remember it. I can’t forget it, forget him or hate him at all, still worrying about him, thinking about him. I don’t contact him now, unless he does. I can’t see any hope that he will contact me again… but expect there is still hope. Do you think it will happen?

    26. admin

      May 8, 2014 at 4:21 pm

      Isn’t that the same thing as memorizing it hahaha?

      I think you can contact him as long as 30 days of NC have completed.

    27. Elisa

      May 6, 2014 at 7:00 pm

      His phone number is on my head, saved it back to my phone, put the pic back into my wallet again. Because I miss him so much. But I don’t contact him at all now. Do you still think he will talk to me someday? Need your advice badly, Chris.

    28. admin

      May 7, 2014 at 3:25 pm

      You memorized his number? Is that what you mean?

    29. Elisa

      April 30, 2014 at 6:55 pm

      Chris, I think if I try to contact him with other tools, he will do the same, he still keeps me on linkedin. I just sent him an email, told him I have been trying to open his mind, apologized for everything whatever it is wrong or right, only because I like him truly. I pushed him away even if I didn’t mean to do it, I also told him I will leave him alone, not trying anymore, hope everything goes well with him, said goodbye to him. Then I deleted his phone number from my phone, didn’t block him like he did to me. I took out our picture from my wallet, put everything about him into a box, closed it. I don’t know, but it’s the only way for now. And I received an email from the company today, I failed on the test again. But they asked me to discuss about another position if I am interested. I will accept the position if they hire me after an interview, change my job, the office is in the city he will move in September, but I will still move to there if the company hires me. If it meant to be in this way, just leave it, let him go, let things go naturally, You said, all those women who get back with their exes after they block them do nothing to get them back, maybe it’s the only way not push him away forever. I don’t know what is going to happen to me, but I will do all I can do to live a better life.

    30. Elisa

      April 21, 2014 at 12:26 am

      Actually I purchased your e-book about 2 months ago. I just couldn’t do NC completely. I did LC from time to time, use some texts that you mentioned, he thought I’m not moving on, he felt annoyed, told me he was going to block me, then he really did. Actually we looked at each other’s eyes for minutes, no words, and I saw his eyes wet when he was telling me break up, move on, meet people, meet someone else etc. I feel I will regret if I don’t fight for him, he is very cold, push me away, cut me out of his life now, but I can’t walk away this time. Chris, I really want to face it maturely, do whatever I can do in a right way. How long should I go NC this time? I did 30 days NC, and then tried to talk to him, didn’t work, he thought I was doing the same over and over again, asked don’t I realize that I’m getting the opposite of what I am trying to get. I stopped, didn’t try to talk to him after a week, now it’s another 10 days of NC. I have asked our common friend to make time for me, I think he can help me in some ways, cause they are fiends for years already. But I am also afraid that he will be angry at I tell the friend about us. Should I tell our friend? Thanks. I appreciate your replies.

    31. Elisa

      April 30, 2014 at 6:04 am

      I sent a message on Facebook after 19days NC. He hasn’t read it, maybe he set my message to his junk box (other inbox)… I didn’t mentioned anything about me on message, because it didn’t work before. So just congrats his football team won again, and mentioned my students were very exciting and happy for it, they are fans of the team, said have a great holidays as well, it’s holidays here. He is very passionate about the football team and football. And I’m not able to access a project that we did before from yesterday, I don’t know if it’s system error or he canceled the invitation. Now I really don’t know what else I can do for him and myself. I’m sick the whole night till now, have a strong headache. Chris, do you still think he will talk to me, there will be a chance for me? What else I can do now?

    32. Elisa

      April 28, 2014 at 4:48 pm

      How and what should I say to him? And when is a good time to contact him again? I tried after he blocked me when I finished 30 days NC, but failed, pushed him more far… I thought about unblock me on his phone or not the whole weekend, cause I ended the call after once ring at once, I was afraid of him mad at me call him.. I was used to not call him, didn’t want to bother him work before, just a few texts. I wanted to call one more time to make sure unblock or not, but not brave enough. I just remembered when I called him after blocking me, the phone didn’t go through at all, dropped off immediately… but whatsapp still being blocked for sure. Please advise me how to approach him again, thanks in advance.

    33. Elisa

      April 26, 2014 at 9:26 pm

      I don’t know when he unblocked me on his phone, but what made him unblock me? Is it good sign? but whatsapp still seems blocked, why? I am confusing…

    34. Elisa

      April 26, 2014 at 3:32 pm

      Chris, I didn’t know why I just wanted to call him today, I don’t really call him before. I had a dream last night, I was writing an email to him…two days ago, we were texting each other, I was on my way to go to meet him in my dream… anyway…I tried to call and cancel for 8 times, then the 9th time I didn’t cancel…my call went through…I was really nervous and surprised, ended the call immediately. He unblocked my number on his phone obviously. But I am still not able to see his status on whatsapp. Now I’m worrying if he found I called, he will block me again… What can I do?

    35. Elisa

      April 25, 2014 at 10:49 pm

      Chris, then what is the next step for me? Wait for him talking to me? It’s 14days NC today since I tried to talk to him after I finish my first 30 days NC.

    36. admin

      April 28, 2014 at 4:08 pm

      No, you need to strategize and come up with a great first contact text message.

    37. Elisa

      April 24, 2014 at 4:14 pm

      Could you tell me why you think he will talk to me again?

    38. admin

      April 25, 2014 at 10:11 pm

      I think the chances are high because in almost every case the two exes end up talking at some point.

    39. Elisa

      April 23, 2014 at 6:28 am

      Then should I just wait till he starts to talk to me or give it a try after my second 30 days or longer NC? He is too cold now, even rude somehow. He said he can’t say it in a clear way, please don’t contact me again, I had to say I’m not trying to get anything now, then he said ok, don’t text him again… It was hurt, his words on my head every day. I’m afraid of loosing him forever now, hopeless, but try to think in a positive way.

    40. Elisa

      April 21, 2014 at 5:02 pm

      I followed my mind, then I screwed up, like he said I’m getting the opposite of what I am trying to get. Chris, please advice me what to do, I can follow your advices, if I have to wait for months, I can wait as well. I don’t know what to do to get him talk to me again now honestly. Actually I tried to meet other guys, end it with him, but I was thinking about him the whole time when I was with other guys. I couldn’t open to anyone. Thanks in advance.

    41. Elisa

      April 21, 2014 at 4:42 pm

      Do you think there is still a chance to get him talk to me again? Can I try to say Hi to him after another 30 days or longer NC? I am not sure what he is going to tell, I’m afraid of him telling me the same, maybe worst.

    42. admin

      April 22, 2014 at 4:24 pm

      I think absolutely he will talk to you again.

    43. Elisa

      April 21, 2014 at 4:37 pm

      The friend knows I have a problem with a guy, he asked who is the guy, I didn’t tell him before. If it’s not good to tell him about us, then I don’t want to make this step to screw up more. Then what should I do now?

    44. admin

      April 21, 2014 at 4:17 pm

      I wouldnt tell the friend but you know your situation better than I do. Final decision is ultimately yours.

  2. Taraxx

    April 8, 2014 at 10:52 am

    I hpanc my bf had planned out to go some where. He used to plan out Ben though I was busy but I still spared time for him and he didn’t show up once. This didn’t happen once but this has happened. Lot of times. I was tired of understanding how busy he was and I wrote him a long msg. Although he did say sorry but he told me the reason why he couldn’t make it. I replied rudely and then he said well enough of your anger I’m blocking you and breaking up with you, you give a damn right? So same case with me. Fuck off! He did this last Thursday and it’s Tuesday today. Missin him like hel. Although I did stop him once when he was blocking me but then I ldidnt contact him? I know he loves me I guess I do. Why isn’t he unblocking me?? :/

    1. admin

      April 8, 2014 at 6:20 pm

      you hpanc??

      sorry, what??

    2. Taraxx

      April 8, 2014 at 10:56 am

      I thought he would make me up because that is what I always do when he is angry. Plus I wasn’t feeling well he could’ve asked me why are you so angry? Are you stressed? Are you feeling well? But he didn’t. He just wrote this long msg saying idk why im saying this but I’m breaking up with you, you’re no longer my girl friend. I cried my heads off and I can’t believe he’s enjoying his life without talking to me for 5 freaking days.i

  3. Cat

    April 8, 2014 at 3:07 am

    his birthday is going to be on May…after all, would it still be advisable to
    greet him…casually only to only let him know i don’t have grudges anymore and i’m okay…should i still greet him?

    1. admin

      April 8, 2014 at 6:10 pm

      Hey, my birthday is in May!!

    2. Cat

      April 9, 2014 at 1:39 am

      hahaha but should I greet him?

    3. admin

      April 10, 2014 at 1:21 am

      Nope not on his bday sorry.

    4. Cat

      April 12, 2014 at 3:25 pm

      but why do you think so? justify 😉

  4. Cynthia

    April 8, 2014 at 12:09 am

    He blocked me everywhere after one month of NC, out of the blue. It hurts. Do you think he just wants to forget me? Is it hopeless?

    1. admin

      April 8, 2014 at 5:47 pm

      No, it means he is still thinking about you haha.

  5. Liz

    April 7, 2014 at 11:59 pm

    Chris – I love your site and you have the best and most sound advice out there. I just completed one week of NC and I feel myself becoming calmer and thinking clearer. I ended things with a guy I considered to be the one. The situation was difficult because of distance and he started to view the relationship as impossible. Emotionally he seemed unstable and unable to handle his feelings in a LDR. I started to miss him and tried to re-connect about a week later. It worked and then things got bad fast. I said goodbye and blocked him on FB. I wasn’t trying to hurt him but I would find myself crawling his page at odd hours to see what he was up too. Then I would get upset at little things on his page. It wasn’t healthy. I made the decision to block him, start NC, and mainly healing and fixing myself. I have a lot of things that I need to work on before I can contemplate a future with this person. He hasn’t contacted me either and I rather he didn’t until I’m ready.

    Anyways – how would he perceive being blocked by me? Is this going to hurt our chances of re-connecting after NC? I’m sure he is hurt by some of the things I said and he is the type of guy that would be very hurt by me blocking him. Please advice.

    1. admin

      April 8, 2014 at 5:46 pm

      Thanks for the kind words.

      I don’t think you should block him I just think you should ignore him…. there is a subtle difference. Also, if you sense he is getting crazy without you, you can always lower your NC period.

  6. Amy

    April 7, 2014 at 9:50 pm

    I’m still blocked from everything, but email. We were sending messages and we decided to meet up to visit his mom in the hospital and talk. I then get a message saying he’s sick and it might have to wait till tomorrow. Do you think this means anything?

  7. Dominique

    April 7, 2014 at 5:25 pm

    Hello Chris,
    I am blocked in 100%. I moved to his city and never been introduced to any of his friends. I know his mother but she relies on him completely so if he said not to contact me, she would do that. I haven’t been linked with him via social networks too.

    He formally broke up with my last summer and cut me off from skype, google chat and his life once I moved out from his place in January.
    I haven’t heard anything from him after 30-days NC, so I was careful when sending any text or email to him (it was sporadically done and negative result).
    My brief email to him saying that I missed him caused that he eventually replied that “he has a new life and new direction, he cant in any way know or contact me because it just distracts him in his goals and dreams. He’s trying to do what is good in God’s view so really he wants to leave all in past and to respect his and Gods decision and not contact”.
    He was not religious at all. Should I ultimately give up?
    I am not sure if he is trustworthy any more. He called me his best friend when I was available around to support him and I was eliminated when I took my life in my hands.

    1. admin

      April 8, 2014 at 5:27 pm

      Wait, you moved for him? And he wouldn’t introduce you to any of his friends?

    2. Dominique

      April 10, 2014 at 4:59 pm

      I moved for him and for better job too as my company transferred me there.
      When I moved, he promised to introduce me to his friends and it never happened. I just met his mother but he told me he had been forced by me to do it.

    3. admin

      April 11, 2014 at 4:06 am

      When you moved did you live together?

    4. Dominique

      April 19, 2014 at 9:39 pm

      We never lived together. At some time point he helped me and I was renting space in his second house (also after break-up initiated by him) so he could come and see me.

  8. Cat

    April 7, 2014 at 12:42 pm

    you know what… i tried everything i can strictly following your ebook…and i think, it’s enough. i don’t deserve this kind of treatment anymore and i guess i’m just making a fool out of my self…within the process of this bargaining i realized that i deserved more…my worth is more than i can ever imagine…i just can’t understand why he has to post public pics with a girl publicly because we are not friends in fb anymore…on the other hand i did a lot of activities and focused on improving myself…but he still keeps on posting pics with the girl so i could see? well it doesnt affect me that much anymore and i’m done with degrading myself…i am more than this…i deserve the same love im giving…anyway, can you just interpret his actions why he keeps his photos with girl public but other photos of his fb private like his bike stuffs and all. is he trying to show me something here? please reply thanks

    1. admin

      April 7, 2014 at 5:19 pm

      I am here.

      I am sorry its been so tough. I love your attitude about this about not taking crap anymore. I agree that you deserve the same love you are getting. Often times you will find that an ex realizes when its too late how good he had it with you.

  9. Annie

    April 6, 2014 at 3:59 pm

    Hi Chris,

    Would like to ask for your opinion, my relationship currently going bad since my boyfriend lost his job and I think he’s depressed now. He doesn’t open up to me like before and keep distance. When I asked, he said there’s nothing wrong. That made me feel helpless and clueless of what to do. I’m afraid this eventually will affect my relationship badly.

    What should I do?
    1/ Will it be annoyed if I keep caring for him too much? or

    2/ How should I leave him alone for a while without making him think that I don’t love him anymore?

    Maybe you can come up with new guide about “what to do with a depressed ex boyfriend (or boyfriend in general) 😛

    Thanks

  10. honey

    April 5, 2014 at 5:29 pm

    Our mutual friend says he still misses me (after 3 month) and told me that he once said that I am the only true person that he knows for sure loved him so much and that he loves me too! They said he doesnt read my emails nor answering the phone cuz of hit would just hurt too bad! I did a lot of irritating in past after 1 month of nc…I sent him so many msgs, emails, acted jelous and desperate too. No reaction to nothing!!!
    What do you recommend here??? Another nc time?? Nothing works!!!!!!!!

    1. admin

      April 6, 2014 at 5:14 pm

      Are you still blocked? Like fully blocked?

    2. honey

      April 6, 2014 at 6:21 pm

      No…just on chats…text msg, email and phone is unblocked. ..but they say he won’t read my emails!

    3. admin

      April 7, 2014 at 5:01 pm

      Give him some time. He will mellow out. Give him time.

    4. honey

      April 7, 2014 at 10:13 pm

      You mean I should wait until I see that something happens on the other side? Like unblocking or anything? So now I should just wait no matter how long it takes?

    5. honey

      April 6, 2014 at 6:22 pm

      And he wont anser the phone too!!

  11. rach

    April 5, 2014 at 2:01 pm

    Hey Chris! I decided to come check out all of your hard work since I haven’t been on here in a few months. Why haven’t I been on here? Cuz I’m happily back together with my ex of course!!!! We’ve been back together since January 10 and we’re doing great. You were a lot of help keeping me level headed and helping me think things through during everything. I really appreciate what you do.

    1. admin

      April 6, 2014 at 5:06 pm

      Wow, this is fantastic! Congrats on getting back with your ex.

  12. em

    April 3, 2014 at 11:19 pm

    Hey Chris, this is an amazing guide! i love it!
    so heres my situation…
    You have probably seen my story a lot sorry to be a bother, anyway I don’t know how long this will be but i will explain as best I can.. Both my ex and I are in high school. We dated for about three years and we broke up october 2, its been sixth months and I’m lost and don’t know where to go from here. I’m afraid to contact him because all he did was ignore me. It kills me every day just to see him walk by day by day acting as if we never met. Do you think there could be feelings there? Before the official break up, we broke up in July for a week but he came straight back. we have broken up in the past also and he has always come back. Recently I was talking to my friend of this situation and she said I should tell him i have still feelings for him. I don’t think its the best Idea but she said most people regret most is not telling the person, also, she said its never really to late to get your ex which was a little uplifting to hear that maybe not all my chances were gone, you know? Back on the topic, we have been in no contact for about 5 months, emotionally i am over the break up, but mentally not so sure, the feelings I have towards him is not an “Lonely I miss you” its a real I miss you where we were happy 80%-85% of the relationship maybe even 90%.

    Do you think you could make a guide on “subtle signs your ex is still in love with you” because Im really not sure anymore. I don’t wanna see him go off with another girl and say i never even existed. On my birthday one of my Friend were talking and they asked him and he said “who is she, I don’t know her” Maybe he is trying to forget me to get rid of the feelings? I don’t know anymore Chris, What is the percentage after six months an ex still thinks of you when they dated for an extensive period of time? Ok so here is a question related to the guide: If you stated that it hurts to for them to much to talk to you then what would it mean if they follow you back but don’t talk to you? Well here is another (sorry:/) Is it still possible to get an ex back if they are being stubborn and if it seems hopeless after 6 months?

    Please respond,
    Thanks Chris all your guides are so helpful and uplifting!

    1. admin

      April 4, 2014 at 5:14 pm

      Well, the next guide I am working on is on male psychology.

      Umm… but signs he is still in love with you is very interesting. I think I may do it.

      If they follow you back it means they want to keep an eye on you.

  13. Amy

    April 3, 2014 at 6:27 pm

    I don’t see my comment. Do I have to wait to be approved or was it deleted?

    1. admin

      April 4, 2014 at 5:07 pm

      I have to approve all comments. As you can imagine I get a lot of spammers. So, I try to figure out the legit comments from the bad ones.

  14. Amy

    April 2, 2014 at 11:51 pm

    Chris,

    Can all this work with an ex that has commitment issues and says that’s why he left? He has left multiple times and this past time he changed his phone number and blocked me on Facebook. The only way we can contact now is through email unless I show up somewhere he is at. He has responded through email and actually the last 2 messages were from him and I haven’t responded back yet.

    1. admin

      April 4, 2014 at 4:45 pm

      Explain the commitment issues to me a little better.

    2. Amy

      April 4, 2014 at 5:47 pm

      Chris,

      I actually sent you a more in depth email on Facebook. I really hope you read it and get back to me. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year and living together 6 months. He has left a few times, but always came back after a day or two. (I guess this is where the commitment issue comes in. He said he was afraid of commitment, but it could be an excuse, because we were living together and had looked at engagement rings.) But this last time was different and horrible. To make things worse I lost my boyfriend and my job the same week and than the very next week I received some scary health news.. I gave more information in my email. I’m just lost and hurting. The person I thought would be by my side through everything bailed right before I needed him most.

  15. Jackie

    April 2, 2014 at 1:18 pm

    My ex and I broke up about 5 weeks ago. I just finished my 30 days of no contact. A couple days ago he decides to unfriend me, over a month after we broke up. He hasn’t tried to reach out to me at all except a couple weeks ago when he texted my friend asking how I was. I know that he hasn’t been on facebook for 5 weeks until just recently, and that was when he unfriended me. He did not completely block me because I can still go to his page, message him, and see a lot of his wall. Another thing that was weird was I woke up with a notification on my phone that said that he sent me a friend request but when I got on my facebook it was gone. So i think he unfriended me, then sent me a friend request, and then decided to delete that request, but I still got the notification on my phone that he sent it. Also his birthday is in a week. When I talked to him last which was 30 days ago he said we shouldn’t talk again at least until the summer. So i guess my question is should I continue no contact? I was planning on doing it for another month or so. We had been dating for over 3 years prior so this was not a new relationship.

  16. Mandy

    April 2, 2014 at 8:41 am

    I can’t say how much this website has helped me and Chris being very patient to the ladies.

    I had a bad breakup last summer so I found this place and read a lot. I’ve tried to follow the instructions, though things didn’t work out. Then I’ve met someone new, he’s wonderful but too bad we didn’t work out either. Deep inside of course I want him back so badly, we still live together and we’ve been in on and off relationship, he just doesn’t love me and clearly told me that I’m not the one. Knowing keep holding on to him is stupid, and I’m not planning to get him back, because I understand when it’s done it’s done, I’m now reading this just for clean up and mind and try to be rational.

    The story was, after last summer my ex broke up with me, I quickly moved on and fall in love with this guy, he could be my rebound but now he becomes the love of my life from time to time, I guess it’s because I never actually lived with somebody and this is technically the first real relationship I had. But I’ve done something very stupid. We had a fight last week, that’s when he said something hurtful it really broke my heart. Over the weekend we seem to be good again, I’ve keep checking if anything he said during the fight was all come from his mind and he actually meant it, the result was positive, and I’ve tried to talk to him about it but he wouldn’t. So out of rage and the gamble mind, I bought myself a ticket to someone far away, and I didn’t tell him that, it was all fine and yesterday morning he went to work he was so happy. But the moment he left to work I packed all my stuff and went to the airport. When waiting for the connecting flight I started to think about him, thinking about how sad he will be once he returned home, all I could think of was to go back and be with him, I didn’t even care about all those issues between us anymore, I was so in love and confident that we will work this through. I guess this is very not cool of me, and when I returned I told him the whole story and why I wanted to leave. Obviously he doesn’t understand me and all he sees me is being crazy, immature and irresponsible. It didn’t end up well, he’s really mad, even unfriended me on Facebook, says my actions already made it clear and no matter how many words I put in, we’re done.

    I understand what I did was very horrible, but what upsets me more is that he doesn’t understand me at all. I’ve tried to understand him and apologized very hard, but still, he wouldn’t take it. I gotta admit I still hope there will be a chance for is but I’m really done try to make it happen. So if it’s not meant to be then it won’t be, I’m sure there will be someone out there can actually appreciate me and understands me, wouldn’t put me onto a situations that I’m sad enough to want to leave.

    Anything thank you for reading this, I just really need a place to speak it out loud since no one around me seems to understand.

    Wish you have a good day

    1. admin

      April 2, 2014 at 5:48 pm

      I don’t understand you either… if a girlfriend did that to me I would have doubts about how serious she was about the relationship. It would really frustrate me.

    2. Mandy

      April 15, 2014 at 6:44 pm

      I guess the way guys and girls really think different.

      So we lived together for over half year, not trying to brag myself and make him look bad, but I do his laundry, cook for him, clean his room, he likes to being head scratched so I do it every night. Listen to his problems and always be supportive. I’ve tried very hard to make him happy and be good to him. His in an on call job, and the call comes in anytime during the day, it often happens in midnight so when he has to go on the job I’d wake up with him, make him coffee and sandwich and send him to work. Looks like I’m his maid and mom. I never started a fight with him, instead he often takes out his anger on me when he’s frustrated by job/social relationship/family etc,all I do just try to understand him and sort things out. I respect him in any way, I play video games with him sometimes, and when he plays I wouldn’t even nag a word out of it.

      I’ve been trying so hard to be the perfect girlfriend, knowing being nice and all couldn’t trade love, but I still hope one day he will fall in love with me.

      So then one day he made me realize that no matter how hard I try, it is not gonna happen. He told me that I’m not the one, he doesn’t appreciate everything I did to him even though I never asked anything back but his love. He will never fall in love with me, I’m not in his picture of future. He made all that clear, still wouldn’t break up with me because he enjoys it, til he has found someone else we will break up then. So I lost all my hope, thought I should move on. But what really hit me was at that airport thinking about if he would be sad, that’s all I care about, to make him happy, so I went back. Sadly all he sees was that I left, and never see the reasons behind it. I’ve been put out with all these for so long, I just feel like it’s too much I couldn’t handle anymore. If he has even show me a little attention or something close to love, I wouldn’t have done that.

      And I tried to explain, still he doesn’t understand.

      🙁

    3. admin

      April 16, 2014 at 4:12 pm

      VAstly different.

      and yes, that looks bad on him. He seems kind of ungrateful…

  17. k94

    April 2, 2014 at 12:45 am

    OK.
    Weirdest day ever. I have no idea if its just me thinking its weird or whether there is something to it…

    So, I came back from to my hometown as Uni semester has finished. I’ve been out and about for about a week meeting up with some old friends, occupying myself -having a detox from Facebook, but still being tagged in a few things since I’ve been here.

    Today, I ask my girliefriend to meet up. So her and her boyfriend (who is also a longtime friend of mine but also a friend of my ex) met up to enjoy some sunshine. We discussed who else we could ask to hang out, a name popped up and I suggested a mutual friend of ours who I bumped into a few nights ago and had a pleasant chat with (the boys are all mutual friends of mine and my ex-boyfriend)

    So nothing more was said, I turned up, my girliefriend and her boyfriend, I noticed they only brought themselves so assumed it’d be us three…which it was for like 20 minutes..
    We saw my ex, his best-friend, and the guy I suggested we invite to hang out walking by..so I think, oh, no wonder he didn’t come out with us, he was out with them and obviously he’d rather pay loyalties to the ex. Awkward momemt (me and my ex both blocking each other at the momemt, the ex’s best friend loved me at first and then near the end of the relationship reeeeeally disliked me -conflict of personalities?)
    So i think…ok they’ll walk past, we’ll move on. And then I notice that the three of them are walking towards us… to join us..
    Weird. Awkward. Why.
    The ex wants to block me…so why is he here? And his best friend who avoided being in a room with me in the past turned up too? What? Why would they bother coming. But hey, time to be civil and fake some smiles.
    So we all say hi. My ex sits near to me. Me and him didn’t share conversation directly…but were part of a group one. I didn’t make any really eye contact but tried not to seem overly distant…ex mentioned he has work in an hour, so that made me wonder why he’d even come.. I don’t know…you’d probably leave early if you’d know you were all about to meet an ex of yours.
    In that moment a good friend of mine messaged me that he was in town so I thought the universe was giving me a way out so i TOOK IT. i said to my friend ‘oh I’ll be back in 10-15′ minutes, bye’. (OK. I wanted to get out of the situation so metaphorically and maybe literally ran away – but walked).
    I said bye, the ex called out bye to me along with the others….
    I was gone for 45 mins with the other group of friends and then I returned to my awkward situation (the ex left for work) but his best friend was still there with the others…
    And immediately as I was sitting down the ex’s best friend was TALKING TO ME. actually….being nice, friendly, laughing with me. Now he was like this when I first met him, but this guy even un-friended me after me and the ex broke up so. He really resented me for some reason that is unclear to me. But NOW he was making am effort….a good one. So I went along with it.

    Mind….blown.

    That is the end of my tale.
    Please tell me what that could have possibly been about? Or is that just a weird day to draw a line under?

    1. admin

      April 2, 2014 at 5:41 pm

      Did he talk to you directly at all? The ex I mean?

    2. k94

      April 2, 2014 at 7:37 pm

      No. I don’t think so. Except saying bye as i left. However I didn’t stay longer than 15 minutes really.

  18. Elle

    April 1, 2014 at 7:38 pm

    We started getting back together then I screwed up by keeping secrets from him which is what had ended it with us in the first place. I didn’t know that’s why he was mad and tried to fix things with him anyway. He blocked me on whatsapp, etc. I gave him space and after a couple of months, I sent him a voice message and told him I was sorry for how bad things had got between us, I hoped he was doing well and I missed him. He texted back a week later thanked me for my message and said he he was glad it seemed I was doing well. I sent a thank you and asked what he had been up to, etc. no response.

    He called completely randomly about a month later and we chatted for maybe an hour. Nothing major, mostly casual but good talk. A few days later, he called again, we talked a bit longer than the last time and again, nothing major, mostly casual but good talk. He ended the call because people came in and he had to go but his last words to me were “we’ll talk later?”

    That was 3 months ago. Since then he hasn’t called, answered my texts, answered my calls, responded to my emails, etc. The only thing I can think of is that he wanted me to say something about the problems from before during one of the times we talked which I would have but it seemed too soon to bring up. What do I do?

    1. admin

      April 2, 2014 at 5:27 pm

      What kind of secrets did you keep? How bad are we talking here?

    2. Elle

      April 3, 2014 at 2:07 am

      Basically I caused drama by trying to handle everything on my own in the background to try to avoid drama

      The first time I was going through serious family/financial problems and someone who was supposed to be one of my best friends was causing me a lot of drama. I was embarrassed and I didn’t want him to think I was high maintenance/drama so I didn’t tell him what was going on and acted like a spazz instead.

      The second time, I fell into a habit of being passive aggressive towards him when I was upset instead of telling him what was wrong or that I was still hurting from before. He tried to make friends with someone I was involved in in a work project in order to have a reason to be closer to me. I didn’t want him to think I was jealous or trying to create drama by telling him to stay away because I don’t like or trust that person. I found out she was trying to rip him off and I tried to stop it rather than tell him. I also told him what happened with my friend who caused me so much drama the first time he and I were together, he found out I was talking her again and was mad about it and that I didn’t tell him that was. What he didn’t know is we were only talking because I needed closure, we’ll never be friends again.

      I get what I did wrong/ what I should have done but I have no idea what to do to fix it? How can I get him to even talk to me?

  19. honey

    April 1, 2014 at 4:29 pm

    Ok he hasnt block my number on phone…I tried once to call him and it went through but of course he wont answer…is it a good sign though??? I am blocked on several chats but not my phone number as I figured out. Why he doesn’t block me if he doesn’t want to talk to me and answer the phone

    1. admin

      April 1, 2014 at 5:19 pm

      Very good sign!

    2. honey

      April 1, 2014 at 6:48 pm

      Ok but IF it is a good sign why you think its a good thing? I mean he wont pick up anyway. Could xou please explain it short, Chris?

    3. admin

      April 2, 2014 at 5:22 pm

      It/s good b/c the possibility of him contact you is still there. If he blocked you on everything that is a very big statement saying leave me alone.

    4. honey

      April 2, 2014 at 5:33 pm

      Yea I see!!! True! But then should I do another month of nc??? I already made it in the beginning after the break up, then contacted and spamed him with texts and emails. He never responded. So he wont trust in my action anymore I guess and maybe he just see it through? He will probably think, aaahhh after her silence the same spamming s gonna start again! So what do I do? Without risking him to forget about me. I mean its been already 3 months now!!!:-(

    5. honey

      April 1, 2014 at 7:09 pm

      Btw its been 3 months now since he blocked me on chats! Since then I tried several emails…plenty of text msgs…nothing worked so far. What you recommend now???? Another nc time???? Please help

  20. Pragya

    April 1, 2014 at 3:53 pm

    So Chris… I am commenting on this site for the first time but I have read every word you have written until now. I want to share my experience:

    My ex and I are in a long distance relationship. He blocked me when I was doing the NC thing on him – probably wanting to “get back” at me as a desperate measure… and what a party pooper- he blocked me on Valentines Day! Imagine the cheek! I couldn’t sleep the whole night- I also cried a little- but I am quite stubborn and didn’t break the NC! You know- “we don’t negotiate with terrorists”. Post blocking me, he messaged me to “inform” me that he has blocked me “just in case I hadn’t noticed.” lol. Then when I didn’t respond even to that- he called me twice and again I didn’t pick up – so he resorted to commenting on statuses I had commented on, so that I get a notification- and mostly were comments indirectly directed at me! I still ignored.
    After NC was over, and I had gorgeous pictures of myself and fun stuff- all my travel, work achievement, weddings I had gone to- all over my wall, I contacted him- he was SO happy, so happy that he thanked me for contacting him and even added me back the same night. After NC, he stopped making those hurtful comments and snide remarks at me too. I had him almost eating out of my hands…
    Except that he was still not ready to commit. He kept telling me that he’s been out with other girls- to the extent of asking me- “Are you jealous, yet?” I was enraged, but kept concentrating on myself. He wanted to “remain friends” from his side but keep a tab on who I was meeting or hanging out with. He would keep wanting to have Skype sex (and each time he’d say that, I’d stop speaking to him for a bit… and then he slowly stopped saying it). Another angle here was that I am from India and his family is really very keen on us getting married and were banking on me to sort of “close the deal” so there was a lot of calls I’d get from his mom asking me about “updates” and “progress”.

    Eventually, somewhere I lost my patience with playing this game Chris. Or maybe I became emotionally stable enough to not need him anymore unless it was a balanced relationship. So I asked him if he wants to work it out or not…. he gave me sort of a roundabout answer but in action started working on it… within a week, we were deciding on where to meet- he wanted me to come over and holiday with his couple friends.. and was ready to speak to my parents. But somewhere, on the day he was supposed to speak to them – either because he got cold feet or because somewhere I might have said something insensitive- he told me that “no matter what you say or do now, you cannot work it out- you and I shall never be more than friends.” Somewhere I feel he wants to punish me and make me feel bad about myself and he’s constantly bursting my happiness bubble.

    I was at the end of my tether now. I was prepared to hear a no when I had asked him- and I was angry as to why he didn’t tell me then. So I told him sorry, we cannot be friends either and I blocked him. And started working some more on myself. I know that if I had followed your advice some more, we will eventually get married, but seriously, any guy who realizes my importance won’t be confused and immature about it. Part of me still feels he and I might get together again (since he’s doing that common friend’s status message thing again)- so I know he misses me. But he needs to man up. I want and DESERVE a guy who crosses the oceans for me and climbs mountains and takes a bullet for me- not someone who can’t even make up his mind! And this concentrating on self has made me so strong I cannot tell you! I still love him to bits but I have started considering other options. So if he ever comes back to talk to me, I am going to tell him that he and I cannot be friends. He knows me well enough and none of us are kids anymore. Either he talks or considers commitment- or he can just go take a hike. And I think now that I am becoming more and more the ungettable girl each day, this is the message I am going to give to every man I meet! I am nobody’s half-time or pastime! If you don’t think I am not enough to be “the one”, stay friends. If you think I am the one, be man enough! You cannot have your cake and eat it too.

    Right, Chris? 🙂

    1. Pragya

      April 2, 2014 at 4:27 pm

      Yes I did. Like I mentioned in the first line, I have read every word you have written on your website. And I have followed it to a T. I am sure your method works. It has given me all the results so far. It is just that I am not sure if he’s worth so much thought and energy of mine anymore.. that’s all… perhaps I am the one losing interest slowly in the relationship..

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