What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You On (The Phone, Facebook, WhatsApp, Etc)

TC

December 3, 2015 at 6:43 pm

Hi Chris
My ex and I Broke up in Autumn and I have already done 30 days NC. I have your pro book and have been following it and it was going well
We’ve been texting alot and we’ve actually had a few sucessful dates, with kissing and holding hands and its been really lovely..
Yesterday I was in a text conversation with my ex as is now the norm and we were sending funny memes of people dancing back and forth and flirting.
He said “show me your best moves”
I said “Nope, you’ll have to ask me on a date ;)”
He said “Whaaaaattttt…… I want a date right nowwwww, naked”
I knew he was only joking about the naked thing but it bugged me that he didnt suggest a real date as its been a couple of weeks since I saw him last so I said “Borinnnnnng, I don’t want a text buddy”
He replied “Ok” then immediately blocked me
We’ve been talking for a good 6-8 weeks most days for long periods of time and spending time with each other so it seems so odd. I am thinking it was the “I’ll show you” or the “it hurts option” as he’s been talking seriously about family and kids with me again. The blocking seems like it was a kneejerk reaction.
How long should I do my new no contact period for? What do you advise?

Lolita

December 2, 2015 at 5:32 pm

Hi Chris,
I’m in a little bit of a situation. I was hoping you could give me some advice? My ex and I broke up over texting 3 weeks ago. The break up happened after a fight that occurred because he wasnt willing to communicate with me. In fact, he ignored all my calls and gave me short answers which made me really angry and I ended up breaking up with him through texts and saying some pretty mean things. (I didnt want to do this, but he didnt answer any of my 10 phone calls) To this he replied “okay fair enough”. This got me even more angry and I ended up deleting him off my instagram only at first. After 5 days of not contacting each other, I messaged him saying “I dont hate you and I never will” He didnt respond. The next day, I texted him saying I didnt have it in me to delete our pictures. To which he replied “We’re not right for each other. We keep fighting, it doesnt make sense.” All of this happened through text. At the time he texted me those things..I didnt beg for him back but I did try to remind him of all the positives in the relationship. I also admitted that I still loved him. He replied saying, “I still love you but I have accepted the reality that our relationship was a fantasy” and that he was too much of a coward to do this in person. Our conversation ended there and we havent contacted each other since. It’s day 11 of the NC rule. You see, I have a problem because I was really angry that he didnt even call me to say all of that through the phone that I ended up blocking him on facebook and snapchat that same night. So I was the one who blocked him…not the other way round. I did this mainly for myself because I knew having him on social media and doing the NC would be really difficult. What should I do? Have I lost all chances of getting him to miss me?

melissa

November 22, 2015 at 11:46 pm

Hello chris,
My boyfriend of 3 years and I broke up 2 months ago and I have not heard from him ever since then. I tried contacting him after the NC period by I did not get a reply back. But last night I realized that I was blocked. What do I do ?

amanda

November 18, 2015 at 9:37 am

Hi chris I read a lot of your post and they always make sense. I have been seeing this guy for a few months. Our story was an odd one, we met online last year and after 4 months of talking (he wasn’t in the country) we finally got a date. Fantastic time and he dissappear, after me sending messages over and over I learnt and walked away. 3 months down the line he returned and apologised. We went again, this time when he started to play his old tricks I stood up and walked away. In February of this year he contacted me again. We met up and ended up in a friends with benefits relationship, I decided it wasn’t what I wanted I told him and we willing went for more. Started dating and staying over each other, became a couple, at times he would say I’m your boyfriend other times he would say he wasn’t. I asked on Saturday if we could possibly start doing a little more, he replied he’s not sure if that stuff makes him happy. And I heard nothing back. I freak like the typical response from a girl. And he ended things via text and blocked all communication from me, the full block out. I know I should walk away and I set myself up for it. I left voicemails when i was able to and sent a few emails. I noticed he is back on the dating site we met on, I admit neither of us deleted the accounts. I know for a while he used the site to find fun and people to flirt with. I admit I sometimes wold over think him not replying and message, due to past of what he did but he that and understood. We had one argument where we didn’t talk for the weekend, but after he said he missed me and just wanted to remember that. Am I right in thinking he’s walked away for good? Thanks. I’m 22 and never had good experiences a hopeless romantic and I no longer no where to go with this situation. He seemed so good when we started trying for more andetails then all at once slipped back into his old ways. Thanks Amanda

Sara

November 15, 2015 at 3:54 pm

Hi Chris

My ex has broken up with me 3 days ago (distance relationship) through text, we had a call afterwards and I was asking him for reasons, while trying to keep him on the phone as I got on a taxi to go see him with the thought that I can change his mind or at least he can break up with me face to face. Him and his housemates didn’t let me in and his housemate threatened to call the police so I was outside in the rain/cold in shock not knowing what to do. After a while they probably heard that I was still outside so his housemates called the police on me which the police couldn’t really do anything anyway as I wasn’t causing any problems but it did make me leave. I went to see him 4 days before the breakup and everything was fine. He is a fresher at uni and because of distance and I’m his first girlfriend, those are the reasons that he has broken up with me and did all these stuff. He has blocked on FB and snapchat, not sure whether he blocked my number or not as I havent been texting him or calling him, after that night that I went, he now made me seem like a psycho to him and his friends. I know it’s crazy that after all that I still want him back but I really think when we were together it is amazing and he said that himself as well, it’s just the distance that made it tough for us and uni has definitely changed him. I have no idea how and whether it will be possible or not but I want to try. What should I do?

Any help will be much appreciated!
Thanks

Kaye Marie

November 9, 2015 at 6:07 am

Hi!
First off I’d like to say WOW! You really cover all the angles. You are definitely good at communicating to women’s minds. ( since we look at every angle as well, we just get nowhere.)
My ex were together 2 years. They were very, very happy. We made a great team. (Not at all perfect, but genuinely great.) He talked about marriage and family with me all the time. Our only big problem was my family didn’t approve with interracial dating. To the point that after the first year hiding it,when I told my mom she kicked me out for 5 days. (I’m handicapable so that was significant.) But we continued to date in secret another year, determined to be together.
6 months ago he broke up out of the blue with me because his family found out how my family felt, and forbade him from seeing me. He said to give him time to work on some things. So I did. He continued texting, calling, visiting. 3 months ago he visited and kissed me a lot. After that night I texted on 3 separate days. No reply. So I stopped communication too.
A month ago he blocked me on FB. He’s been dating someone else. (Like the month after he kissed me!) After a few weeks, he unblocked me and sent a friend request, but he’s still dating her. It’s been about 80 days NC. Should I accept his request? I love him dearly, but friends say he has my number if he truly misses me and to not accept. What’s your opinion as a guy?
I would appreciate it so much!

sarika

November 8, 2015 at 3:29 am

Hey Chris, I read your full thing about how tp get your ex back… but my case is really complicated…Me and my ex are dating each other from last 6 years.. but things are not longer same that it was to be… what my ex uses to do.. he talks to me 5 days then after he blocks me for 2 months.. then he comes back in my life , chat for 4-5 days . Then the same thing happens continuously from last 1 year. So I want to know , what is really going in his mind..? What he wants to do with our relationship? Please help me … I seriously want that badly..

Alice

November 7, 2015 at 3:48 am

Hi chris should i block my ex from whatsapp and social media?

Seline

November 5, 2015 at 3:08 am

Hi Chris,

Can you give me some advice on whats going on with my ex bf? I think we ended up in a great terms, we never argue in our relationship before and we were together for 2 years. Its just a week ago, he told me that he is stress with his work and he need a break and that he is not sure wads his feeling to me. So i gt real upset and cried for a few days. Then its just few days ago i told him I wanted to be friends and Im fine now, and the next day he blocked me in fb. Then ytd i told him that i will be there for him if he needs a support (since the main reason is with his work). Then this morning he blocked me in whatsapp. What does this mean? Does he really want to cut off contact with me?

JaniceJ

November 3, 2015 at 3:28 pm

Chris, I am in a situation with my ex and would like your opinion. We we’re together a little over 5 and a half years, with early challenges but we had been able to move forward the last couple of years. He was jealous (insecurities that I probably contributed to) and at times controlling. Toward the end of it, I didn’t feel like our relationship was moving forward enough, as I was ready to get married and we had been talking about it for almost a year with no signs of him getting closer to proposing. One day we got into a bad fight and I impulsively broke things off. I was unsure about my decision from the get go. We continued communication for about 4 months after our breakup, and it was friendly. I had been considering getting back together a lot especially at the end of the 4 month period. However, I ended up hooking up with a friend one drunken night, and I came clean to my ex because he had asked for 100% honesty. As soon as I told him he said he could never speak to me again, said his goodbyes and asked me to never contact him again. I know I hurt him, and I am feeling like I may have made a huge mistake. He blocked me from his life in every way possible, and I am in full blown panic mode. Part of me knows there’s probably no way to repair it, but we weren’t together and I was respecting his need for full disclosure. Do you think there’s a chance of ever hearing from him again?

Hurt

November 3, 2015 at 2:18 am

I cut my ex off a week ago, saying I did not want him in my life anymore, and I blocked him so I would not get his response. I unblocked him. I found out he blocked me and i’m still blocked. He has no social media.

jasmine

November 1, 2015 at 2:14 am

hello chris,
I and this guy dated for two months and slept together few times though the relationship was not a formalised one.
At some point he started misbehaving anything I do almost pisses him up and I even end up apologizing even if hes the one at fault.im so much in love with this guy he wasn’t feeling too well about a week ago and I made sure I contacted him and when I realised he was already ok I decided not to call him again because at times he may not initiate after 3days until icall him.so after I decided not to call him for a week he blocked me on whatsapp and I am now undergoing NC.
Do u think he would unblock me?im thinking of doing month NC.I love this guy such hes 30 while im 28

Jessica

October 31, 2015 at 4:10 pm

Hey Chris,
I bought your ex boyfriend recovery pro and I’m feeling a bit confused and not really certain if I made the best choice. Me and my ex were together for 3 years we had a little bit of a rough year but still good times. We wanted to buy a house next year so I decided to move back to my parents to save money. I had been dealing with anxiety issues losing 2 family members. After I moved back to my parents everything went down hill. He was acting cold and distant. We went on a family trip to Canada and when we got back he broke up with me. He didn’t have a valid reason everything he said didn’t make sense. He said he felt unappreciated and everyone who knows us said I always went above and beyond and I did I felt it was an excuse. We didn’t speak for almost a month no contact rule. 2 days before my month was over he blocked me from Instagram and Facebook. Mind you they whole month he still had our pictures up and I don’t know what changed his mind. I texted him and he never responded. Like i just find this so weird. Like no one cheated and we planned our life together. Like is this cold feet what do I do? Just give up on him totally? I’m so confused I was so great to him and at one point he felt I was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Chloe

October 31, 2015 at 4:05 am

You helped me once, please help me again?!

I’ll keep this brief (as brief as I can, anyway). I have a somewhat unique situation.

I employed all of your techniques for getting my ex back. After several months, he came to see me (we’re an hour apart). After an amazing night together (going out, talking for hours…a bit more, ahem), I thought I had him back for good. Wrong.

The next day, not only did he act super weird, but he began the head games again of off and on answering my texts, then, shut me out. I made the big mistake of a gift, card and a lot of desperate messages. I finally gave up. Two months went by, he ignored my birthday, I dated someone else (who, ironically wants back with me; why’s it always the totally wrong person?) and, while visiting a friend for a football game weekend, and two glasses of wine, I called him. Straight to voicemail. Then, I did the unthinkable: I called from a friend’s phone. Total psycho move! Aggghh!

He answered and admitted yes, he blocked my phone number because of all my “crazy” messages. I told him that was hurtful, and I was sorry, then changed the subject. Then I asked him if he still had my poster (I did some swimsuit modeling, the company made posters, he used to have it on his wall.) He said yes, though now it’s in his dresser drawer. I said, smiling, “Why?! Why do you have it?” His answer? “Because I like you.” Huh?! I said, “I don’t know. But, I like you, too. You are a dear friend. I gotta go. Please re-think blocking me.” Then, I made the mistake of sending a Facebook message saying that “I wish you hadn’t blocked me. That’s hurtful.” So…phone still blocked (I think, it’s been a month and I don’t even try to contact), but Facebook still wide open. What to do? Should I just move on? I’m at a loss. Please help!

Lilly

October 31, 2015 at 12:30 am

Hi Chris,

Thank you for all your help. I have a question on this topic and I was hoping you could help me out. My ex and I broke up two months ago. Well basically he cheated and wouldn’t take any responsibility for it and kept blaming me for everything. We took a three week break the first month and then at the beginning of October he contacted me saying he wanted to see me again. I told him I couldn’t deal with his lack of accountability any longer and that I was done even trying to be his friend and if he wanted to speak with me he would have to take accountability. He said he needed more time to think and I told him time was up and I was done. So, I went NC. A week after that he sent me a picture of him with no text (nothing dirty) and I never replied. I went NC for about 28 days. So today I decided to call him to just say hi and try to get some closure on things. I thought we would both be ready for that, I also miss his family and wanted to see how they were. Anyways I realized I’m blocked. My text and calls did not go through and I know that means I’m blocked. I called private, twice, and he didn’t answer but the calls did go through and once from my friend’s phone just to see if that would go through and it did. Im curious if he knows its me or suspects it because he and I live a little far away and my friends area code is the same as mine. But i can’t do anything about that now. My question is why would he block me when I wasn’t hitting him up at all and he contacted me last? He was very angry with me when the relationship ended but he still reached out to me and asked to see me and again sent me that picture. It bothers me that I got blocked so far after we broke up when i wasn’t trying to contact him at all and he was contacting me. I didn’t write to him on any other outlet and I’m not blocked on anything else. Luckily, I found your site and it saved me. I think he is angry at me and maybe his ego is hurt that I didn’t reply so he’s getting even. I can’t tell if he has feelings or not anymore but this does hurt my feelings. Could you let me know what your thoughts are? Thank you again.

Harry

October 30, 2015 at 10:16 am

Hi, Chris. According to your post, I’m like zero chance of getting back my boyfriend.

My case is like your example. I think he still have feelings for me but he logically thinks that I cant be happy with him in the future. I don’t like his family and friends and him staying his mum’s house. His house is very small and the dog live here is massive smelly and shedding hairs. His parents and friend are literally crazy people and his mum’s house is absolutely disgusting. It’s not somewhere people can live. You can get infection. I truely think so. I always wanted him to move out and live with me and he said he wants to leave his mums and have a new life with me. Now he is in hospital and we argued about these matters again while he is in the hospital after a tumor surgery and cant move his legs. He started defending his friend and family and said hes happy where he is now and doesnt want to change. He blocked me and we are in a two different continemt Europe and Asia. Chris please tell me if this is like 0% of chance then I should not be holding on to the hope that i can get him back. Can I?

Confused

October 27, 2015 at 6:05 pm

Hey Chris. My situation is very tricky. First off, my ex has a lot of baggage and 2 children. Baby mama drama is our problem. He chased me for 6 months. I didnt want anything to do with him at all at first, because I had just gotten out of a relationship and I don’t jump into anything at all. I value dating, and only date someone I feel I can build a future with. He knows this, obviously from having to chase me down for 6 months before I would give him the time of day. So, I didn’t know until after I started seeing him that he had just broken up with his baby mama and she had moved a couple of hours away. He told me they had been together for 3 years, and that she had taken care of his oldest son even though she wasnt his mother. ( He had a son with his ex wife and she left and he has full custody of his 4 year old) His 4 year old thinks she is his mother, which makes it a little hard for him. We ended up falling head over heels for each other and we get along so well together. i quit my job to help him manage his business he has, and everything was going great, until baby mama found out he was in love with me. He told her how he felt about me, and she told him he would never see his youngest son again. Threatened to tell social services he was an abuser, drug addict, whatever she could think of to scare him she used. He was wrongfully convicted of a crime and spent 10 years in prison so the thought of the court system terrifies him and he gave in and moved her back home. We broke up, obviously, and we are going on 4 months of technically not being together. However, he cannot leave me alone. He is obsessed by me, even telling me how much he loves me and just to give him some time to figure out what hes going to do. He hates her, does everything to make her want to leave, she even knows he has been staying at my house countless nights and takes me out in town. Everyone thinks we are together. He doesnt take her anywhere, and doesnt talk about her at all. I have taken his phone when he isnt looking and gone through it to make sure he isnt lying to me, and he has told me the truth. He tells her repeatedly he loves me, not her. How she is only home because his kids are involved and she is a leach and selfish and a horrible person, and she begs him to love her and to work things out. Its a horrible situation and he has almost drunk himself to death over it. I have tried backing off and removing myself from the picture, but he freaks out and begs me to hold on. He is so worried that while he is trying to figure things out with her and the kids that I am going to run off and start dating someone. He of all people should know I dont do that, but he is extremely jealous and watches me at all times through social media and if I go anywhere he knows about it. He wasnt like this when we were together. He never had a problem with who i talked to or where I went. So, its been like this for about 4 months now. A couple weeks ago he got the courage up to tell her to leave again, and *** hit the fan with her. I tell him not to tell her about me because that seems to make her dig her claws in deeper, I tell him to just tell her its not working out for other reasons that are clearly visible (Ask his friends, coworkers, family, which who all know we are still talking and seeing each other and who love me) but he doesnt listen and gets mad and tells her that he loves me ect ect. making it worse. The last time he did this we were out and she dissapeared with both of his children. So, since then he has contemplated suicide, telling me to give him some time, again. He is now starting fights with me to push me away, and I let him. I try and be gentle and if he asks me to leave him alone, i do. I dont ever blow im up or call him or stalk him social media. But the other day we got into an argument . It was a very small arguement. I got mad, and blocked him on instagram ( i dont have a facebook) and then felt bad later and unblocked him. my page is public fyi. I sent him a couple of texts, he replied telling me to never speak to him again and to leave him alone. Which I did. That night at 2am he sent me some loving text messages and I responded simply stating. i love you. Ive left him alone. 2 days later i get another text message from him talking about random conversation and i said something that upset him and he stopped responding. Like i said i dont text gnat, and I didnt. I realized he didnt respond and left him alone. He always responds to me so the next day I got a gut feeling he blocked me so i tried calling and yes indeed, i have been blocked. So i sent him an email asking if he blocked me. He responded the next day saying yes he blocked me because I have been childish and he doesnt have time for games and im full of drama and he has nothing else to say to me. said he wasnt going to even respond to the email. but he did? then about 2 hours later, he accidentally liked a picture from 118 weeks ago on my instagram of me and my former tattoo artist. he is a tattoo artist fyi. But im being childish? Not sure what to do and if the NC rule would even apply to my case? Help me. Thank you.

lIsa

October 22, 2015 at 5:39 am

My boyfriend and I broke up bc he realized he was too young to be serious. He cried a lot during the breakup, and i could tell that he was hurt. After the breakup I would text him that i missed him and he would ignore me. When his birthday came I texted him “happy birthday,” when my birthday came which was two days after I waited all day for him to text and he did not. I was mad and i texted him something really mean, mainly about our sex life and how it sucked. He then blocked my number :(. Im really sorry for what I said and apologized on IG, which he read and still follows me, but he ignored it. Ugh! did i ruin my chances of ever being friends with him?

A Person

October 21, 2015 at 9:24 pm

Hi, Chris.

I recently did no contact for over a month, reached out again and got a good response. He talked about visiting me and said it was great to hear from me again. Throughout part of our year-long long-distance relationship I suspected cheating. The girl’s name came up as soon as we started talking again, and soon after she messaged me for the first time ever asking if I was still dating my ex. This infuriated me. I ended up emailing him saying how angry I was that he talked to her through our whole relationship and said he had been emotionally cheating on me, and though we are no longer in a relationship it hurts. I then emailed again saying maybe we can still be friends if I don’t have to be in a place where she can contact me. I got a one-sentence response that seemed positive, but I am now blocked on email. I was hoping to at least stay friends and I’m afraid I lost my best friend forever. What would you suggest I do to heal the damage? Thanks!

Dani

October 19, 2015 at 9:07 pm

Hey Chris,
I might be a textbook example for walking from one mistake into another. Really hope you still have advice for me.
My boyfriend broke up with me about 2 months ago, after only 6 weeks together. I gave up a 7 year relationship for him, so the feelings were pretty intense and it always felt mutual if not even stronger from his side. Even though I must say, we live on different continents and never got to meet. It was planned but the time we shared was too short.
The break up was an impulsive decision on his side, he had a bad day, was disappointed into a friend and had an argument and then we ended up quarreling about something meaningless in the evening and he was breaking up upon it. I was shocked because I thought everything was going well, just 3 days before he sneaked out from a night with the boys to message me and tell me how much he loves me. So I told him to rethink his decision because I wasn’t up for an on and off relationship and he took the break up back. However, the following days he was pretty cold. He would still talk with me the usual amount but be very distant and refrain from calling and stick to texting instead which worried me and caused me to try to make amends and with that bringing the argument up again every day while he wanted to forget about it and get space from it.
He then broke up a couple days after, telling me he wouldn’t know what he wants but he would still love me and he wouldn’t want to lose contact. I still couldn’t understand how he could turn around that quickly and kept wanting answers which he couldn’t give me. I kept pushing, drowning him in messages and tears. For days until he told me I would be annoying him.
So I tried to take distance and just message him very rarely about everydays stuff. But his cold replies just hurt me and I unfairly told him that it’s obvious he doesn’t care anymore and I could just make it easier on us and leave. And I deleted him off skype. I realize this was a very unfair move and I never meant it that way, just wanted to get a calmer mind. 5 days later he deleted me as well and that is when I got worried and texted his phone. He told me he doesn’t have interest in anything anymore, no relationship, no friendship (how I had the chance for it but didn’t want it) and if I’d keep messaging him he would block me. I kept messaging him, he warned me again and eventually did block me. Yes, shame on me.
I thought about my behaviour and wanted to reach out to him again, found ways to contact him like once a week for the following 2 weeks (1 month in total past break up), which of course were all ignored. So I had a mutual friend set up a talk which he gave in but was very angry and setting me a time limit. He was blaming me for something I didn’t do (the friendship breaking with the person he argued on the day of our break up), told me he would never forgive me that and so I was trying to solve his anger on that part while desperately confessing my love for him and thus repeating my behaviour rather than apologizing for it as I had planned.
He kept repeating how he doesn’t care, doesn’t miss me and doesn’t want to read anything, much like he was trying to convince himself of those words. How bad of a break up this was and how he doesn’t even want friendship anymore now. But also nearly caring told me to let go and move on because having been in my position of such a break up it would not be anything I would want. Just to switch back to anger and blame in a moment after and eventually leaving telling me to leave him the hell alone and to not contact him.
Yet I contacted him again the day after. But this time to say good bye. I apologized for my behaviour, told him I’m sad it ends this way and thanked him for the nice time we shared. I didn’t want to leave off on a sour note even though I don’t know if he ever read my message. Yes I even contacted that friend who broke the friendship to him and got them to make up (sounds like teenager drama but they are actually in their mid 20s). Just didn’t want to have any blame left on me.
Since then I am in NC. Today is my 20th day. And what can I tell you? I’m still devastated as on day one. I can’t get over him and I think he might have been the one. Friends tell me to let go or even return to the 7 year relationship I gave up for him – but me… I just love him. By now I realize the mistakes I did. That I should have given him the space he needed to sort himself after the argument and how I kept repeating this until 20 days ago. He basically had no other choice but to break up and block me. I was the definition of crazy.
And I think now it is too late. Not like he would even realize because he cut off any form of communication and while I was creative finding ways, I don’t think there are any left. At least not without turning creepy and I do NOT want that.
I’m usually not needy or clingy, but this break up caught me off guard and I had fallen head over heels for this guy. So yes, I am aware of how needy and desperate my behaviour must have seemed and I’m afraid it might have changed his view about me.
I don’t think he would ever contact me by himself, not until years from now at least, and I don’t see a way of contacting him. He holds grudges for a very long time and he is a rather emotional type of men.
Wish I had found this website before I maneuvered the love we had into this impossible situation.
Is there any hope left? How can I approach him? If I contact him after 30 or even 60 days of NC, wouldn’t it just seem like pushing again? Especially because I would have to go an extraordinary way to even establish contact.

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