What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You On (The Phone, Facebook, WhatsApp, Etc)

2,553 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You”

Don't knos

September 5, 2015 at 2:03 am

I asked you for your advise however I know you are busy. Why is it confusing
Cosmos karmic

September 3, 2015 at 10:48 am

Hi Chris
I read your stuff twice this same post 🙂
It’s been almost two months my ex blocked me, he has been married(arrangedmarriage) we were doing good till two months ago from last year, many a times and oft I told him I felt guilty as he is married but he knew I was an emotional person and said that I shouldn’t feel guilty if I love him. And I fell trap to his love how stupid of me.
I never took his calls but only Whatsapp and I said no I’d never call him or receive his calls. He has blocked me on Whatsapp and I wouldn’t call and he wants me to call. Rather he must be intriguing me to call. I was angered and hurt and I blocked him back on Whatsapp but then I said no why should I cos he wouldn’t come to me he just wanted to enjoy both sides of the world. So I unblocked him on Whatsapp as I want to move on but still there hasn’t been a single day that has passed by when I don’t think of him. My friend said unblock him on Facebook and happy stuff there. However my thing is why should he convince me if he blocked me but I agree we used to have fights everyday over Whatsapp. He has been the only man I loved. It’s a long story.
I make myself say forgive and forget and move on but why is he on my mind. I don’t check.my Whatsapp to see if he unblocked me, I deleted his no everytime after checking and he wouldn’t have unblocked me, its been over ten days I haven’t checked by adding his no if he has unblocked me on Whatsapp.
I’m sick as in health and I know had he loved me he would have found a way as my friends say but I know I said a lot to him and the exchange of words were not pleasant at all. There is a part of me that expects his msg but if he hasn’t sent.me one since the past two months. Green signal move on . it’s funny I know I have to yet his memory gold.SME to.him.and officially dated him persontoperson only for a month. And I was crying during these times cos guy mages said he is using you cos he had proposed me during uni days and I said nonand he tried and I said no and my best guy mate said he got back to you when you fell for him cos he targeted you on your simplicity and then when you are all for him satisfying his ego. I don’t think he is like that but then when he promised me he’d msg or meet on his own will and didn’t I got hurt I expected a sorry msg but he never did. Msgd casually like as if nothing happened. My girlmmates think he is a moron of degree one cos he initiated this extra shit .
Your post has motivated me in a good way!/
My guy mates said he knows he sucks at the looks dept and you rocked and he wants you and they said trust us we are a man like that a## I miss him.but I hope someday he msgs me and I can say sorry for what I said in anger . but then no I wouldn’t want to be at the mercy of him. I know my worth now after reading this post. Thank Chris.
Amy

August 31, 2015 at 3:58 pm

Hi Chris,
My situation is that My ex bf has unfriended me on facebook. we met up 3 weeks after the break up and he wanted to get back with me but the next day he changed his mind. I told him I could not be friends as he wanted and he got angry and the phone call ended. 5 days later he unfriended me on facebook. I have been doing NC since the phonecall which has now been 22 days. What should I do now? Am I at an advantage or not as I have not been blocked just deleted?

Chris Seiter

September 2, 2015 at 3:33 am

I look at it just like blocking. He can always add you back. It’s just Facebook, right?

Dionne

August 31, 2015 at 9:06 am

Hi Chris,

I’ve had kind of a strange experience, and was hoping to get your feedback. I’ve asked the perspective of a few friends, but you’re website is really excellent, and I figured I would ask you, too. Just for some background, about 4 months ago, I left a pretty toxic relationship after trying most everything, and determined that that person was not emotionally capable of being involved with anyone. I am now a single mom, but have lots of support and am in a much better place.

I started an online dating profile on a whim, and was incredibly upfront about my wants, needs, career, goals, and single motherhood. My profile actually went kind of viral, and as of right now, I just hit 2000 “likes” on my page. (It’s been up for about a month and a half.)

Anyhow, after going on a few dates, I hadn’t really felt like I clicked with anyone. Eventually, I came across one guy that happened to have around 40 mutual friends with me on Facebook. We decided to meet, and we instantly hit it off. For the next week and a half, he was texting me at all hours of the day, from the time we went to sleep until the time he woke up. We never really spoke on the phone, but we hung out in person maybe 7 times during that week and a half. (Though this was mostly his idea, I was all about it). It was brilliant, and he told me he hadn’t felt this way in years. I was beside myself, since he was just so much nicer than my ex, and seemed like more of a stable person. It was like a breath of fresh air. I tried to play it cool at first, but I couldn’t help feeling like he might be the right guy for me. He even suggested that we hang out with my son, and told me that he had no problem with me being a single mom. (His sister is also a single mom, and his mother had remarried once before.)

Even though we spent a lot of time together, I wanted to take things slowly as far as intimacy goes, just as a precaution, and he was totally fine with that. We flirted, made out, texted, and I even crashed at his place one night just to test the waters. It was lovely, and we cuddled the whole time, and hung out the next day. Everything felt very comfortable.

He knew my birthday was coming up this week, and since I hadn’t made any plans (due to work obligations), he offered to take me anywhere I wanted the night before my birthday. I made reservations at a nice restaurant. Then, two days before the birthday dinner reservation was scheduled, somewhat out of the blue, he texted me and told me that he didn’t think we should pursue things, that we might have different personality types, etc.. I asked him if i had done or said something wrong, or if it was too much too soon, and he admitted that moving too fast might have been part of it. I told him that we could slow things down if he wanted to, but he said sorry, he didn’t think it would work out. I said I was sorry too. Then, though I had never called him before, I decided to call, and discovered that he had blocked my number. This has never happened to me before. It stung a bit.

We’re still friends on Facebook, and I sent him one last message, apologizing and saying that if we could start fresh, we could just try to take it moment by moment. No response, but that was 6 days ago.

Looking from his perspective, I may have jumped the gun and tried to plan too much too soon, but he was doing the same, and he had told me he wished I lived closer so that we could see even more of each other. I was mostly just going off of what he was telling me, and trying to allow myself to be available.

I’m not sure it the No Contact rule would apply here, since we barely were dating, but I really like this guy a lot, and think that maybe the timing was just off. What’s your take on it? Is it worth a shot? I haven’t experienced this kind of chemistry with someone for a long time, but it blows my mind that he would block my number so quickly and without warning.

Cheers, and keep up the good work! Your cause is a noble one.

Dionne

November 18, 2015 at 11:41 am

Hi Murthy,

Sorry, I just saw that you replied too! Very sorry to hear about your situation.

After speaking with mutual friends about the guy I was interested in, it turns out that this was kind of a pattern of his, and that he had been single for two years, which he had told me, but I was unaware of how deep it ran. Back when this guy and I were briefly courting, he had mentioned to me that he had some really terrible relationship experiences with dating narcissists in the past, which I could relate with going through as well, but unfortunately, it seems as though he had not yet healed. (These things can take years, if not a lifetime, to heal from.)

After the shortened No Contact period, I tried a few Facebook messages, but no reply. He read them, unread them, read them again, and then unread them once more. I did make the possible mistake of sending one long note telling him that what he did hurt me, but that I valued the time that we spent together. I mostly did this for myself, and felt that if he was a decent human being, maybe it would help him down the road to hear that that kind of behavior can hurt people.

A couple months later, I got up the nerve to text him from my new phone number, which went well, but as soon as he asked who it was and I told him, he disappeared again. I noticed him at an event with a bunch of mutual friends not too long ago, and when I waved at him and smiled, he literally ran out the door when he saw me. Hopefully, he’ll find his path (so to speak).

In the meantime, I’ve been keeping my own personal NC blog (not online, just for moi 😉 and it’s been really cathartic. I tried a minimum of two rounds of NC (plus a few mini no contact periods) before finding out that this dude is just not in a place to be dating seriously (through outside sources), is having trouble with intimacy, or we’re just not right for each other. (Plus, I have a kid, so that can probably throw in a little more pressure from the bachelor’s perspective.)

Long story short, although while we were seeing each other, he indicated that he was starting to develop feelings for me, once I showed reciprocation, he ran for the hills.

I can’t lie, I still like him, but I don’t like what he did. I’ll probably always cherish the fond memories he and I shared, and try to use those experiences to guide me towards the next positive relationship I have. Who knows, he may come around one day, but if he waits too long, he’ll probably miss his chance. 🙂

On the bright side, I’ve gotten myself some new shoes, new glasses (to give my face a fresh look and my eyeballs a break from contacts), and I’m working on a new outlook, as well. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and have a coffee date with a new suitor this upcoming Sunday. Fingers crossed!

As far as your situation goes, Chris’s advice may apply to you as well. Maybe your ex has something else going on that he hasn’t mentioned. How long were you two seeing each other? Did you break up on amicable terms, or did he block you without warning?

Good luck Murthy, I know you’ll come out even better on the other side. I know it can be difficult at first, but it does get better.

Hugs and cheers! 🙂
Dionne

November 18, 2015 at 11:32 am

Hi Chris,

Congratulations on becoming a new dad! It’s pretty life changing, isn’t it? The craziest, most difficult, and most beautiful moments are now yours, 24/7. Best of luck!

Thanks so much for replying! Yes, you were right, there was some other stuff going on with him. He and I are probably in different life stages right now, as well. Though I am 28 and he is 30, he’s still living the young professional millennial dream of sowing his wild oats while he can, and that’s fine with me. I’ve already done that, and I’ve got a toddler son to boot. If this guy comes around, then cool, but if not, I can live with that.

After several goes at the No Contact (shortened), and zero responses from him (I know he read and unread my Facebook messages several times, and we texted through my new number, though he dipped out two texts in when I told him it was me, oops), the one thing I haven’t yet tried is the “Talking to a Mutual Friend” thing, which I might attempt before completely moving on. Any further advice from there? A friend of mine who knows him told me this guy just happens to be judgmental and a tool, so I’m not sure how much more I’m going to put into it.

In the meantime, I’ve set up a date with another dude who seems to be a lot nicer and more mature. If nothing else, I’ll hopefully at least gain a new friend.

One column that might be helpful is advice for single parents who are dating. That tends to be a tricky one. Let me know if you need a columnist/correspondent! I’m testing the battlefield as we speak, haha. Kudos on your website design, too! 🙂

Thanks again!
Murthy

September 10, 2015 at 10:00 am

Hi DIONNE,

I’m going through a same kinda situation right now. There was a guy whom I met a couple of months back and things were really well among us. All of a sudden i realise that the guy has blocked me. I tried calling him once. He total we would meet up and then he would explain me the things. But never got back to me.

I really like him and want him back for sure. I really wanna know what went wrong. Could you please help me out if you have figured it out. And contacted him back or if made him contact you. I’m sorry if i’m offending you by asking this. It’s just i want him back and would wanna lead my life with him. Those few days with him was memorable. We had a great connection. It’s indeed a lot of pain. (I’m 26 and he is 30 fYI)
Chris Seiter

September 2, 2015 at 3:39 am

Sounds like the guy is a commitment phobe a bit.

You did move fast BUT sometimes guys love that.

I think there is something else he isn’t not telling you.

Not sure the NC would work great here. However, if you do want to try it I would use the 21 day one.

Elise

August 28, 2015 at 8:15 pm

Hi Chris,

So this Friday morning I told my ex that I no longer wish to have him contact on social media because he broke the promise of getting back to pof dating site account. Worst scenario is that he took it as ok and went on pof. I tried to talk to him on the same day at different time and regretted breaking up with him and told him I want him back. He pretty much blocked me from snapchat, instagram, email address, and probably texting. I had no choice but to delete my pof account for no purposes on stalking him. I seriously regret making that choice but I don’t know if I’ll ever get back with him….

We were almost a year together but broke up in February 2015 because he had to move back to Iowa for family issues. We were talking like friends but he told me the real reason we broke up is the fact he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship and needed more time to stabilize. This lead me to a total depression but of course I did the no contact rule and for my surprise he finally talk to me persuading me to get back with him. We got back together but this time our connection was fading a little bit because he made some excuses for not talking to me like work or horrible connection which this lead me no choice but ton get back on pof. I caught many times online and of course he had to lie about it. This time we both agree to stop going on pof and communicate more. There are times we talked on facetime but again he disappeared not speaking to me for a month and thats when I found out he was on pof.

So I really don’t know how I’ll get him back or win his trust again….. Is there another way I can get him back?
krissy

August 28, 2015 at 4:54 pm

So, I’m the girl who had the feelings but we had slept together a few times, his actions were not that of a casual encounter which confused me and didn’t help with the feelings. completely honest i did go crazy, i did harass and fight and push but he kept me around for a year and half after we stopped sleeping together and would actually lead me on but wouldn’t date me. So, i do believe i brought nothing but negativity to his life, i finally came to a point where i told him to block me or ignore me but he wouldn’t. It was completely toxic. And yet of course i still want him, even though he never made time for me or cared for me. Now, he has a gf and now he has blocked me. Of course it hurts and i don’t like it but in my human girlness i want him to come back, i know it stupid and I’m sure i know your response but does that out me i the 40%? Are there any chances?

krissy

August 28, 2015 at 5:37 pm

And i would ask him why he would continue with me and what he got out of this he would always say he doesn’t know and yet wouldn’t stop either.

Charlotte

August 28, 2015 at 6:22 am

Hi Chris,

Me and my ex boyfriend had a terrible row and he said some terrible things and I just got angry because he was showing like he didn’t care and told me that he knew he was being a d*ck! He always puts his guard up and is very stubborn!! In the argument I told him to drop dead you horrible b*start and I shouldn’t of I have never said anything like that before I was just so angry and hurt, I shouldn’t of said it as his brother had tried to kill himself the week before and had been in a coma for a day!! I love him so much and he knows i never meant it and would do anything for him but straight at that moment he said I will never forgive you for what you said and blocked me off everything and told me to move on my life as he can’t go back after what I said 🙁 I’m completely devastated; he has blocked me before after arguments caus he knows it hurts me!! He knows how sorry I am; do u think he will come round eventually?
D

August 27, 2015 at 11:56 pm

My ex has blocked me on his phone so I can’t call him and on what’s app so there is no communication at all. I do not have any social media accounts. He is usually one to unblock me when he’s calmed down a few days/weeks after but this time feels different. As he keeps doing it I feel he may be doing it to ‘teach me a lesson’ I don’t think it’s because he doesn’t want to speak to me again but then I don’t know. What do I do now?
NC will make him move on faster

August 23, 2015 at 10:55 am

does any of this even make sense if my ex doesn’t even want to talk to me? he seems to have completely disengaged emotionally. since the break up we spoke like 3 times…only cause i initiate it…he had me blocked for a few days unblocked me cause i begged him to.

now he just reads everything i write on whats app but doesn’t respond and has been doing so for 2 days.

no i haven’t gone NC….but it is really hard doing so when your ex goes cold/indifferent as a way of breaking up…I didn’t even really do anything to him..he just said I didn’t listen to him and that everything built up…He doesn’t want to see me, talk to me, anything & nothing even happened to cause it, it was abrupt… He says he is over the situation & i dont even know what that means i asked “so you are over me?” he says “i said the situation” so i ask so like the relationship?” him: “i just said the situation” what does that even mean? he keeps saying i didn’t listen so he has nothing to say to me.

he says he wants me to just move on and he’ll say w.e it takes for me to do so & that i should just flip it around on him and be mad at him…sounds as if Me going NC will just make it easier for him to do what he is already doing.

MsE

August 28, 2015 at 7:52 am

Hi Chris,

I was engaging with a man for around 6 months – we emailed regularly and would see each other weekly . It was a friendship that was becoming romantic however as a result of external factors happening in my life (unbeknown to him) I became a little erratic emotionally for a couple of days. Not negative or mean, it could have seemed slightly needy at worst. but he sent me an email (nice emai saying he’d enjoyed our time together but couldn’t give me what I wanted so since it wouldn’t end well, he’d rather end things) and then proceeded to block me immediately. To my detriment, I did try to contact him through his work number at least 5 times &left 2 msgs in one day to which he never answered – up until then, I’d maybe called him 3 times in the 6 months as he would initiate our contact and reply to me almost immediately if I texted. He’s totally blocked me as far as I can tell. After one week, I called from a private number and left a dignified msg explaining why I went loopy and apologised and have since made no contact. I’m not sure why he blocked me immediately though, like I said – no arguments, no meanness, I was just a little erratic and no talk of relationships had ever taken place. I don’t understand why he would throw away a completely good friendship. Could you shed any light here as I’m at a loss as to the severity of his actions.
Chris Seiter

August 24, 2015 at 6:17 pm

Ah I know it’s hard but what are your other options at this point? You can also use facebook to stir things up if he’s a friend on fb.

Lola

August 20, 2015 at 8:17 pm

Hi Chris,
My boyfriend blocked me on facebook around 5 months ago and recently unfollowed me on instagram aswell. We broke up a year ago. I had to leave him, because things weren’t working out and I wanted more, than he was able to give me. I am older than him, also this was his first serious relationship. We were together for 3 years. After our break up we still spent few nights together, it all completely ended around 6 months ago, when he was really mean and said thing he should have never said. It was very hurtful. He was talking about the girl he went on a date with and they are taking it slowly, as he doesn’t want it to end up the way it did with us. He said that I was way to easy for him. Oh and didn’t forget to show me her picture aswell, she was really pretty. Few days later he blocked me. I went away for the summer and he contacted me shortly after I left. I told him I have had an amazing time and sent him some photos. He completely turned around after that and became so cold again. He made me feel as if I was annoying him and said that I was stupid in our conversation on whatsapp. After I came back home I met him only couple of times, as we have lots friends in common. But again, he is trying to embarrass me, making jokes about some private moments that happened when we were still together. At this point I truly believe he hates me. The break up was very painful for both of us. He didn’t want it and tried to get back with me a few times, but I just couldn’t go back, because I didn’t believe anything would change. He promised so many times he would change while we were still together, and he never did. I have made big changes in my life since our relationship ended. I left my job and traveled abroad for the summer, which helped me a lot. I am in college and started passing my exams (all exams that I failed when we were freshly broken up) I recently got a new job. I have completely changed my career. He is doing his usual, drinking and working….I was really happy up until last night when I met him in a bar and he embarrassed me in front of our friends. I was so disgusted, that I never even told him I got a new job. He doesn’t look good at all. Now I am very upset again and I don’t know how long is this going to last for? I am still blocked on facebook and he only recently unfollowed me on instagram. When he sees me he tries to act normal, but later or next day he either say or do something to upset me.
Sydney

August 15, 2015 at 7:00 pm

Hi Chris,

Recently saw that my ex unfollowed me on Instagram and Twitter. Both my accounts are private, so he won’t be able to see anything else unless he follows me again. I did the same to him, though I regret it and felt like I gave him the upper hand. We are still friends on Facebook. I am on day 19 of no contact.
Another thing to note, we had been dating for a year, then broke up and got back together, then he broke up with me once, and came back to me and broke up with me now. He did not unfollow me when he first broke up with me, however.
I’m so confused, why would he unfollow me on these social medias this time around? I was hoping for some insight.

Thanks!

Jessica

August 19, 2015 at 7:31 pm

I am in a similar situation, except this is our first breakup. He unfollowed me on Instagram and deleted me from Snapchat, but we are still friends on Facebook. He uses Facebook the least often out of all, but he still gets on a few times throughout the day. Why would he keep me on his Facebook? I’m on day 4 of no contact.
Chris Seiter

August 17, 2015 at 10:42 pm

He might be afraid of what he will see, ex. you with another guy. Don’t worry just keep doing what your doing with no contact.

michelle

August 14, 2015 at 5:45 pm

Hi Chris..i have a question..Ive posted it here before but havent gotten a response..and the situation has gotten a little worse. Basically my ex and i didnt speak for 7 months..our relationship was very intense and we broke up due to family issues. We have not been fb friends for roughly a year..mostly we texted as we are long distance as we.. He contacted me recently though thru fb as a lot of my feed is public i had stated i broke my phone so im assuming thats why..he read it? Anyway.. we spoke a few times about our family struggles and i said that i had missed him..and thats when things got weird and he stopped responding. I actually thought we could be friends again and so i fb messaged a friend request to which he reponded by blocking me!!! I thought he had deleted his page and texted saying ” i hope u r ok! “..he did responded nicely actually..Then 5 days later i noticed i was unblocked!! In the meantime..i made my page private..thinking that was sort of like no contact..but now i dont know what to do..i guess im wondering why he blocked me..my feelings are very hurt.feeling he hates me..does he want to be left alone? but i thought also the break up was hard on him because he was in hiding for the whole 7 months..not a peep on Fb or Twitter! Confused ? Please help 🙂

Chris Seiter

September 1, 2015 at 9:05 pm

It sounds like he might be dating someone. He could also still be hurt. Go into no contact for a week and try again.

Melissa

August 14, 2015 at 10:44 am

Ok, so my thing is, I initially did a complete block out with him. I sent him a letter after breaking up and he replied with a pretty cold email. It was like I fell off the planet. I blocked him out completely for 2 weeks. I then unblocked him. A day or two later, I discover that he blocked ME on Facebook. Would you consider that a “revenge” scenario, or a “he never wants to talk to me again” scenario?

Chris Seiter

August 25, 2015 at 3:49 pm

Revenge most likely. You prob bruised his ego and he’s trying to hurt you back. Read the post on no contact. That’s what you should try.

yellow

August 8, 2015 at 8:32 pm

I told my ex to block my phone number idk if he blocked me but I was tired of holding on and just being friends with him. Don’t get me wrong I was sending multiple texts just expressing how I feel and told him to block me but he never respond. He always told me we couldn’t be together because I block out on him and he thinks im crazy. I really love him would I every get him back?

Curious

November 27, 2015 at 11:53 pm

Hi Yellow. What ended up happening in your situation? I am in a similar boat. Did your ex end up unblocking you? Did NC help?
yellow

August 14, 2015 at 12:29 pm

Thank you hopefully me and him will talk again
yellow

August 13, 2015 at 9:24 pm

He says I snap on him for no reason. I will be honest I do gnat texts
Chris Seiter

August 14, 2015 at 4:33 am

Ok perfect time to do the opposite then! 🙂 Make sure when you start talking again you are taking it slow.
Chris Seiter

August 13, 2015 at 12:39 pm

Why does he think you are crazy?

kate

July 31, 2015 at 9:34 pm

my boyfriend is 3 years younger to me , and we were having commitment issues when his grandfather died and he was behaving very weirdly so I contacted his best friend and to ask about him and then his best friend texted me and we shared hell lot about each other and I asked him about his commitment issues and vented out my anger about my boyfriend, now his best friend had a crush on me and showed it to my bf and he accused me of cheating and we broke up and then I sent him goodbye sms and went into no contact , he messaged me after 10 days asking for someone’s number , so I explained what happened and he listened for first time but then I asked for space and went onto no contact again but he messaged me again after ten days to ask about setting of a machine but I became so angry that he didn’t even had the decency to say hi but just texted me , can u tell whats the setting , so I controlled for few days but lost my cool after 8 days and wrote angry text messages about how stupid and immature he was not to even hear my side even once before breaking up and that wrote sarcastic version of our breakup around lots of messages I think 500 but he didn’t read them all and I even told him not to disrepesct me by not even saying hi , and stop treating me like errand girl and have the decency to atleast say a hi first, I msged him again next day (10 sms ), he didn’t reply ,again I msged him that he needs to grow and stop asking me dumb, immature ,questions about the machine especially when he can call the professional and ask instead of asking me as we are broken up and that he needs to grow up as he didn’t reply so I wrote this break up is the best thing that ever happened to us and don’t disturb me for useless, trivial things and he should give me my space coz I have to make some important decisions in life , so he blocked me on his whatsapp on one number only though he rarely checks the other number like once in two months . Chris have I ruined it forever now ?? he didn’t block me till 2 months of our breakup though I tried to contact him for 4 days but I went into no contact at that time, but I broke it twice on and second time I said really hurtful and sarcastic things so he blocked me on whattsapp . is there any hope or is it ruined forever
Jen

July 22, 2015 at 2:03 pm

Hi Chris ,
Me and my boyfriend were together for 2 years .No cheating involved. He still loves me but he is actually frustrated of the fights and doesn’t have the power to try to make things better anymore. I was quite calm after the break up strictly stuck to NC and kept posting pictures of me having fun on Facebook. The breakup doesn’t actually bother me that much .
But I am startled as to why he blocked me off suddenly on Facebook and just deleted my number (didn’t block me elsewhere) .
Anyway we DON’T HAVE ANY MUTUAL FRIENDS that I can get in touch with.
So tell me what should I do !
P.S. He still has me on insta but isn’t a religious follower. He doesn’t operate snapchat and instagram that much.
and it has been 5 days since the breakup
Fran

July 21, 2015 at 1:30 am

Hi Chris
I hope you will be able to answer my comment but I understand how busy you are. Love this website by the way..it is seriously helping me out right now!
My ex and I (I’m 27 he’s just turned 26) broke up 2 months ago after 5 years together, long distance for the last 2 years and I was just weeks away from moving back to be with him, something we’d been looking forward to for a long time. About a month before the breakup he’d been acting distant and blatantly ignored me on some occasions so I just gave him space and didn’t contact him much either hoping he just needed space. When I came home for a visit I told him we needed to meet up and I knew we were going to break up and I agreed with the breakup at the time, telling him that ignoring me was disrespectful and I deserved better. He said he just didn’t want to be with me anymore and I said I didn’t want to be with someone who didn’t respect me anymore and we left it on good terms. I still wanted him back but I didn’t want him to see me as weak so I didn’t even try to convince him otherwise. I went straight into NC and during this time I was on my final hospital placement in another country, and used the time to better myself going to the gym, going on dates etc. After 3 weeks he text me a normal message just telling me about a new phone he’d bought etc…i ignored it. When 30 days were up I text him using your I have a confession text and he responded very positively with lots of interest and I ended the conversation after a few texts. Going by your book I sent him another text a few days later to which he responded positively but with like 5 hours in between each message so after two messages I just didn’t respond and decided to go into NC again. Another 2 weeks later and he text me and asked me how my neck was as I’d been in a minor car accident at the very end of our relationship and he didn’t even ask if I was ok at the time so I didn’t reply to this message because it angered me that it took him that long to ask if I was ok! I really regret not replying to that message now because I feel as though it really annoyed him. About 3 weeks later I snap chatted him to which he replied on whatsapp and started a conversation with me. The content of the messages was quite positive..lengthy and lots of questions but he was taking way too long to reply, so long that i felt as though I wasn’t in control of the situation anymore and I felt like the needy one. That was 2 weeks ago and I was going to whatsapp him yesterday to try and arrange to meet up because I am now back in the country living with my family for the past few weeks and will be in his hometown on friday doing some volunteer work so thought it might be a good opportunity to meet up and get my things back off him. However I tried to send him a funny meme and a “hope things are good with you” message to start a conversation a few days back and I’ve noticed he’s blocked me from whatsapp!!! I think he’s angry that I haven’t been responding to some of his messages and cutting off conversations but I’m worried i’ve totally blown it and pushed him further away now! but surely this still means that he cares about me. I mean 5 years is a long time, we had planned a life together, he was in the room with me and my family when my dad died last september and that was a huge deal to share that with someone and it bonded us. I feel like I should’ve responded to his texts because every time he was late responding he did say sorry and he works long hours as a police officer. I am not sure if I’ve been blocked from his phone yet but I am planning on sending him a message to check tomorrow. what should I do? Do you think there is any way we can come back from this or have i pushed him too far? sorry for the really long message but I just really want to know if its worth trying anymore or should I just move on with my life. I feel like the whole reason he wanted to break up was because suddenly I was about to move home and he freaked out because finally the day that we’d been waiting for had come and he’s now just running away from commitment!
Thanks, Fran
Carol

July 21, 2015 at 12:44 am

Hi Chris,
My ex and I broke up because my family threatened their relationship with me because they didn’t like the color of his skin. I didn’t tell him that was the reason but I think he kind of expected. We ended up getting back together and dating for three more months in secret because it would have been really bad if my family found out but it got to be too much for him and he said he couldn’t sneak around anymore because it wasn’t fair and i completely understand but then I went home and fought with my family a week later and convinced them to let us be together and when I told my ex he said he didn’t feel the same anymore. I was so mad because I felt like I had risked so much and he lied to me about the real reason he ended it. So I said hurtful things to him that I regretted everything and he wasn’t worth anything I gave him and I thought he would talk to me about it but he never did so I reached out to him and he just told me he really did love me but his feelings changed and I hurt him and he was talking to someone else so he wasn’t going to come back to me but he really did want to be friends and he would be fine with it as long as I was. So my internship for the summer is about five minutes from his house so I decided to try the friend thing. We had a couple conversations but they just felt unnatural and he told me we couldn’t be friends anymore or ever talk because it upsets his new girl. I went kind of crazy texting him out of the blue these long texts and he just said he couldn’t take it anymore. Finally I feel like I had time to realize he’s not someone I actually want to be with but I think it just makes me mad we never got a chance. We got to a point where were were on good terms but every time we talked it just felt forced. Then a couple weekends ago I asked him to come over and stay the night with me. I’m not stupid enough to think nothing was going to happen, I was expecting something to happen but I told him we didn’t have to read into it because we don’t want to be together anymore. He kepis saying how it was a bad idea and it was too complicated and after 3 days I finally convinced him to come. It just felt normal and in the morning we kissed and then all of a sudden he stopped and told me it was wrong and he was talking to someone else now. I said I didn’t want it to effect our friendship and I didn’t want to go back to him not talking to me but he said it would. So then I went a little crazy with the texting because I didn’t think it was fair for him to shut me out at that point and he basically was saying how I would send him texts out of no where and I just needed to move on and it was easy for him to hate me because he was talking to someone else. The thing is I really don’t want to be with him. With my family situation it would be hard anyway.. but he meant a lot to me and I don’t want him to hate me like he is saying he does. I think he doesn’t believe me when I tell him a friendship is seriously all I want. He told me if I kept it up he was going to block me because I was stressing him out and he tried to be nice but it was out of hand. So a couple days later I sent him one final text saying he’s not who I thought he was and I didn’t think it was wrong of me for trying to be his friend and he was just burning bridges and he texted me back saying he was done and maybe he wasn’t ever the person i thought he was and that he was blocking me because he didn’t think it was something I was ever going to get over and he really did block me from everything. I’m shit out of luck aren’t I?
Blue

July 17, 2015 at 2:16 am

Chris,
My situation is different from all the rest on this website and I really need someone to listen. Please. My five year realtionship with the love of my life ended three months ago in the most terrible way. I hit him in a figth and he told me he never wanted to talk to me ever again.( We did not have an abusive relationship). Now I believe he has met another woman he is falling hard for. Please Chris I’m deperate. I’ve done the no contact rule. And nothing. No communication. I followed up with a text a month later. Nothing. Help!!!! Please. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. He has not contacted me at all.
Bri

July 15, 2015 at 3:50 am

A lot of this was true. He blocked me on fb and stopped talking to me abruptly because I “hurt his feelings” and “disrespected him”. He wanted to hurt me and apologized for not ha selling the situation better. We are talking again but he won’t unblock me. smh