What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You On (The Phone, Facebook, WhatsApp, Etc)

2,570 thoughts on “What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You”

K

January 20, 2018 at 5:44 pm

Hi there I was blocked yesterday by a guy I’ve been seeing for three months it has been long distance but he drove from Arizona to meet me extended his trip to visit with me longer and I went to stay with him for a week during New Year’s and I really was falling for him and he would tell me to message him anytime I wanted, and he would always respond to me but when I got back from New Year’s, after two months of constant interaction he just seemed a little distant and it felt like I was always playing 20 questions with him and yesterday it really didn’t feel good and I asked him if he was leading me on or if he was seeing other people and he said he was seeing other people and he wanted to be friends and nothing more with me which upset me a lot because if I hadn’t asked him he would’ve just continued responding to me all the time and visited me again while sleeping with other people. So I got very upset and I said he was fake and I didn’t wanna be friends with him I didn’t want to downgrade to a “fake” friendship and that he was gross for sleeping with other people while talking to me every day, and sending me photos etc. saying things that made me feel that he had feelings. Well he never responded to my message I sent that was upset instead he blocked me. I had not read your article yet so I quickly wrote his email address because it appeared he had also blocked my phone number and I said that I felt it was extreme that he blocked me and that I was very upset which is why I reacted in anger and that I never wanted it to go down in this way. I’m not sure he’ll read it but I said it hurt very much that he blocked me. I can’t figure out based on your article of reasons why someone would block, why he did. It feels like a mix. Do you have any insight he would watch my Instagram stories every day usually like every post sometimes respond with Messages or emoji’s to my stories for two months he texted me every day, we talked on the phone, sent me photos of himself. We talked all day Thanksgiving we talked all day Christmas when I spent a week with him over New Year’s I took care of him while he was sick and paid for him while he was in between paychecks, I bought him medicine and food. I’m pretty gutted. I know I said that he was fake and that I didn’t wanna be his friend but I was angry and I didn’t think that would result in blocking me and I couldn’t help myself when I saw that, I had to email him and say that hurt. What reason do you think it is behind him blocking just from your own intuition and do you think he will ever unblock me or do you think it’s the 40% ? Thank you.

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 21, 2018 at 9:19 am

Hi K,

I can’t say it from intuition coz I don’t know him but he probably blocked you to avoid arguing and answering your questions.. It was just two months. You don’t know him that well, so, it’s really hard to say why he did that to you. Maybe he also noticed you were investing too much in him and getting too serious too soon while he’s not..

Lilly

January 17, 2018 at 7:26 am

My ex blocked me a month ago after our break up which was like two months ago, he never seems to reply my messages,never picks up my calls,before he blocked me.His best friend told me that he likes another girl and is dating her and he keeps on telling me that my ex doesn’t love me anymore and I should move on, I find that very difficult,i think of him everything minute,no other guy seems to match him.I don’t know what to do but I really want him back

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 18, 2018 at 7:46 am

Hi Lilly,

check this links:
The Ungettable Girl
How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Regret Letting You Go

Chanel

January 4, 2018 at 9:40 pm

Hi recovery team,
My ex and I have been dating for almost 3 years. We got into a huge argument a few days ago through text about him going away for his birthday day and not telling me. In which he just stopped responding to me. We broke up one time before where he did the same thing there was no break up conversation he just cut off all communication. But today I noticed he blocked me on whatsapp. It’s only been a few days and I figured he would get over the argument I sent two text messages nothing too crazy. One said good morning and when he didn’t respond the other said I guess you don’t want to be bothered with me. I tried to call two times that night which he sent straight to voicemail. That was two days ago. Today I noticed he blocked me on whatsapp. Pretty much I’ve decided I’m going straight into the NC rule for 45 days and use this time to work on my body. I have enrolled in a 28 day work out challenge. His birthday is in a couple of days. Should I reach out to him. Also if he has me blocked and I don’t have him on social media at all how do I talk to him after the 45days of NC. PS I have never really been into social media it has always been a little strange for me so I hardly ever post. I only have one friend that plays basketball with him from time to time. Should I use that friend to talk about me to him?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 6, 2018 at 12:20 am

HI Chanel

check this one:
“Can I Text My Ex On His Birthday?” Let’s End This Discussion Right Now

Vaishali

December 31, 2017 at 2:59 pm

My ex broke with me 3 months ago without a reason n just disappeared, I’ve been bombarding him with msgs email etc but he just doesn’t reply me with an answer n all he has to say is you deserve better so I gave up n blocked me from FB, call msgs and wats app and says doesn’t want to contact me again and is very angry on me bcoz I told his friends, it seems that he just used me, it hurts very much
Emma

December 23, 2017 at 2:42 pm

My ex has recently blocked me. Im not upset or angry. Itso been more of a shock. Starting from the beginning. We met and couple of weeks later I had an operation. This guy was very supportive and came to see me every day and treated me so well during the recovery process. There were no signs of him not being genuine. He initiated everything and he even asked me to go away with him when I got better. He saw me coming out of theatre, being sick and looking terrible and it didn’t fase him. I made sure that he was in control and he could back out if he wanted to. He was always telling me how he’s never met anyone who’s not needy over him and he liked how secure and content I was as a person. However, he would try to make me jealous or insecure on times and I wouldn’t react as I’m not a jealous person. Couple of weeks later, I start to get better, my health is back on track, I’m wearing makeup I start back at work and I finally felt like we could be a normal couple. We had a great few days together, he was planning our future etc. Then all of a sudden he ends it and blocks me. I’m completely shocked as I didn’t see this coming. It’s been a few weeks on and I’m still confused. I’ve been in a 2 year relationship and got over that straight away. However, this time around Im still in shock and a bit of denial. For me, it appears that he liked me being vulnerable, relying on him to make me tea etc and now I’m better and fit he doesn’t want to be with me. Any advice would be great.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 26, 2017 at 7:05 pm

Hi Emma,

If that is true, I would move on from him.. Or he blocked you because he doesn’t want you to expect and wants you to continue to move on

Sharon

December 20, 2017 at 6:58 am

My situation is the other way around. I don’t know if its appropriate to ask the question here. Still would like to know your helpful thought.

My ex blocked my facebook…way before we broke up, actually during our dating process!! I think he didn’t want me to know about his past too much. I never asked to add his facebook due to respect his privacy, and also he told me that he’s not active on facebook (which it seems to be true later when I found out). But I never expect that he already blocked me until I randomly discovered his ex’s facebook….

It’s confusing but I’m ok with that. What I’m concerned more is his ex’s facebook. I asked if they’re still in an ongling relationship based on the information I found in her facebook.
Anyhow, few days later his ex blocked my facebook. And of course, he won’t unblock my facebook. But I think he hasn’t blocked me on any other chatting platform which means I can still reach out to him.

Now I’m struggling whether I should contact him after NC ends, because that his ex blocked me indicates they’re still in contact and that he is possibly upset with me. What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 20, 2017 at 9:47 pm

Hi Sharon,

You’re more concerned that he’s upset with you rather than him being secretive?

Shayla

December 15, 2017 at 8:58 pm

My ex boyfriend blocked me on Wednesday on facebook, snapchat and I believe he has blocked my number. I have started the no contact period today, but I have no idea what to do if he doesn’t unblock me. Our friend has told me that he could be starting to like another girl but it’s only been a month since we broke up and we were together for a year and a half, plus we were engaged. I don’t know what to do and I just want him back.

Please help me

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 19, 2017 at 6:20 pm

Hi Shayla,

follow the advice first.. instead of worrying about it now, focus in improving yourself and being active in posting.. just make your posts public.

Stirling Wright

December 15, 2017 at 2:09 pm

Hi Amor,

Thanks, for responding. I’m 25 and he is 31. Is it over for good?
Will he reach out to me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2017 at 6:16 pm

You can still try nc.. Continue not talking to him for a month. Be active in improving yourself and in posting. and then of you’re not blocked initiate contact..if you’re still blocked, put a limit until when you would wait to be unblocked before moving on

Stirling

December 14, 2017 at 9:51 pm

Hi Amor,
Thanks for responding.
I’m 25 and he is 30. Is it really over for good?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 15, 2017 at 2:07 pm

You can still try nc.. Continue not talking to him for a month. Be active in improving yourself and in posting. and then of you’re not blocked initiate contact..if you’re still blocked, put a limit until when you would wait to be unblocked before moving on

Stirling

December 14, 2017 at 2:54 pm

Sorry to repost but I don’t see my comment and I can’t tell if there is a response.

Hi there,

My ex and I have been broken up for about five months. We first met in April and by the end of the month we were a couple. Things we fine, we went on two dates, and then my parents decided that we had to have a chaperone or be with a group. My ex is older than me and did not like the rules, it was something he was not used to. But we did meet up a few times to see each other. After the breakup, (we dated two months) my ex still flirts with me and checked in on me. But at the time he said that I was not ready to date and we were not getting back together, but he had feelings for me. Then things started to change in September when he made a comment to a friend about hurting me, I asked what he meant by that and he said that his experience would hurt me and that I Should be with someone I can share more with. I was confused and told him that it did not matter what happened in his past we can do things together. I must have said too much, because he didn’t respond to my texts. I asked him about it and he said there was no need to talk about it. I felt like he was blowing me off. At some point he told me that he just wanted to be friends and I was a nice person. We exchanged mean things to one another and stopped talking for three weeks. That was out first fight over text message. In October I wished him Happy Birthday and another week went by. The next week we talked over the weekend via text and I asked to meet up, he said that he was talking to someone and that was not a good idea. Once again we talked about our breakup and how I felt it was unfair that we could not fix out problems and he moved on to someone else. It seemed to finally end. However I was still asking questions and he was getting annoyed with them. After some more texting back and forth, he finally admitted that we should stop talking, because I was not getting over the breakup, as well as ” what are your intentions?’ ” it will be better in the long run”, “he’s not the guy for me”, ” I want to be more than friends and he can’t do that”, ” I’m gonna make someone happy one day”, ” I’m not gonna be your boyfriend”. He did say sorry for hurting me, it was not his intentions. We haven’t talked in a month and I know he has blocked my number, because before he would respond to me but now nothing. Can you break this all down for me? What should I do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 14, 2017 at 6:55 pm

Hi Stirling,

how old are you both? It looks like he has moved on, and you haven’t and he wants you to.

SJ

December 13, 2017 at 2:53 pm

Hi there,

My ex and I have been broken up for about five months. We first met in April and by the end of the month we were a couple. Things we fine, we went on two dates, and then my parents decided that we had to have a chaperone or be with a group. My ex is older than me and did not like the rules, it was something he was not used to. But we did meet up a few times to see each other. After the breakup, (we dated two months) my ex still flirts with me and checked in on me. But at the time he said that I was not ready to date and we were not getting back together, but he had feelings for me. Then things started to change in September when he made a comment to a friend about hurting me, I asked what he meant by that and he said that his experience would hurt me and that I Should be with someone I can share more with. I was confused and told him that it did not matter what happened in his past we can do things together. I must have said too much, because he didn’t respond to my texts. I asked him about it and he said there was no need to talk about it. I felt like he was blowing me off. At some point he told me that he just wanted to be friends and I was a nice person. We exchanged mean things to one another and stopped talking for three weeks. That was out first fight over text message. In October I wished him Happy Birthday and another week went by. The next week we talked over the weekend via text and I asked to meet up, he said that he was talking to someone and that was not a good idea. Once again we talked about our breakup and how I felt it was unfair that we could not fix out problems and he moved on to someone else. It seemed to finally end. However I was still asking questions and he was getting annoyed with them. After some more texting back and forth, he finally admitted that we should stop talking, because I was not getting over the breakup, as well as ” what are your intentions?’ ” it will be better in the long run”, “he’s not the guy for me”, ” I want to be more than friends and he can’t do that”, ” I’m gonna make someone happy one day”, ” I’m not gonna be your boyfriend”. He did say sorry for hurting me, it was not his intentions. We haven’t talked in a month and I know he has blocked my number, because before he would respond to me but now nothing. Can you break this all down for me? What should I do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 14, 2017 at 6:55 pm

Hi Stirling,

how old are you both? It looks like he has moved on, and you haven’t and he wants you to.

SJ

December 13, 2017 at 3:14 am

Hi there,

My ex and I have been broken up for about five months. We first met in April and by the end of the month we were a couple. Things we fine, we went on two dates, and then my parents decided that we had to have a chaperone or be with a group. My ex is older than me and did not like the rules, it was something he was not used to. But we did meet up a few times to see each other. After the breakup, (we dated two months) my ex still flirts with me and checked in on me. But at the time he said that I was not ready to date and we were not getting back together, but he had feelings for me. Then things started to change in September when he made a comment to a friend about hurting me, I asked what he meant by that and he said that his experience would hurt me and that I Should be with someone I can share more with. I was confused and told him that it did not matter what happened in his past we can do things together. I must have said too much, because he didn’t respond to my texts. I asked him about it and he said there was no need to talk about it. I felt like he was blowing me off. At some point he told me that he just wanted to be friends and I was a nice person. We exchanged mean things to one another and stopped talking for three weeks. That was out first fight over text message. In October I wished him Happy Birthday and another week went by. The next week we talked over the weekend via text and I asked to meet up, he said that he was talking to someone and that was not a good idea. Once again we talked about our breakup and how I felt it was unfair that we could not fix out problems and he moved on to someone else. It seemed to finally end. However I was still asking questions and he was getting annoyed with them. After some more texting back and forth, he finally admitted that we should stop talking, because I was not getting over the breakup, as well as ” what are your intentions?’ ” it will be better in the long run”, “he’s not the guy for me”, ” I want to be more than friends and he can’t do that”, ” I’m gonna make someone happy one day”, ” I’m not gonna be your boyfriend”. He did say sorry for hurting me, it was not his intentions. We haven’t talked in a month and I know he has blocked my number, because before he would respond to me but now nothing. Can you break this all down for me? What should I do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 14, 2017 at 6:56 pm

Hi Stirling,

how old are you both? It looks like he has moved on, and you haven’t and he wants you to.

SJ

December 13, 2017 at 3:11 am

Hi there,

My ex and I have been broken up for about five months. We first met in April and by the end of the month we were a couple. Things we fine, we went on two dates, and then my parents decided that we had to have a chaperone or be with a group. My ex is older than me and did not like the rules, it was something he was not used to. But we did meet up a few times to see each other. After the breakup, (we dated two months) my ex still flirted with me and checked in on me. But at the time he said that I was not ready to date and we were not getting back together, but he had feelings for me. Then things started to change in September when he made a comment to a friend about hurting me, I asked what he meant by that and he said that his experience would hurt me and that I Should be with someone I can share more with. I was confused and told him that it did not matter what happened in his past we can do things together. I must have said to much, because he didn’t respond to my texts. I asked him about it and he said there was no need to talk about it. I felt like he was blowing me off. At some point he told me that he just wanted to be friends and I was a nice person. We exchanged mean things to one another and stopped talking for three weeks. That was out first fight over text message. In October I wished him Happy Birthday and another week went by. The next week we talked over then weekend via text and I asked to meet up, he said that he was talking to someone and that was not a good idea. Once again we talked about our breakup and how I felt it was unfair that we could not fix out problems and he moved on to someone else. It seemed to finally end. However I was still asking questions and he was getting annoyed with them. After some more texting back and forth, he finally admitted that we should stop talking, because I was not getting over the breakup, as well as ” what are your intentions?’ ” it will be better in the long run”, “he’s not the guy for me”, ” I want to be more than friends and he can’t do that”, ” I’m gonna make someone happy one day”, ” I’m not gonna be your boyfriend”. He did say sorry for hurting me, it was not his intentions. We have not talked in a month and I know he has blocked my number, because before he would respond to me but now nothing. Can you break this all down for me? What should I do now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 14, 2017 at 6:56 pm

Hi Stirling,

how old are you both? It looks like he has moved on, and you haven’t and he wants you to.

Theresa Wyatt

December 13, 2017 at 3:06 am

My ex and I have known each other our whole lives, distantly. Our fathers are/were childhood friends. We, I, found him on FB, just scrolling thru, I saw him, thoufht he was attractive was like “who’s that?”…omg it’s ____!!! He confirmed my request shortly after and “waved”. We met 2 days later, wow! Talk about sparks, chemistry, giddiness, big smiles, twinkling eyes, you name it. It was incredible. We couldn’t believe how we “clicked”, his words. It’s like we were “mirrors of each other”. We soon spent every night together. He immediately introducing me to his friends, went and spoke to his father about us dating, and I met his ex wife, long story short ex lives in in-law apaetment on her property, they have 1 biological children together the other he “adopted”. In my ex’s texts to me, he spoke of “openkng his heart again and showing him love is still there. He promised his heart his soul his mind. He’d take care and love my girls as of they were his own show then how a man treats a lady. These are his words. We looked for apartments together. Yes this all happened in only 5 weeks. We talked about that, but we were solid. he said we had to go thru all the bad to get to the good. He finally founf the missing puzzle piece. These are all his words. His actions? Loving and caring. He insisted I use his vehicle mine was in rough shape. He insisted were introduce my girls to him. He gave them a tablet his child wasn’t using. I took care of him, he took care of me. it was a done deal. it was a Friday he broke up with me. No warning. No signs of pulling away. That monday we talked about us, he wanted to make sure we were on the same page. Tuesday he told me he loved me, cared about me and wanted to continue on see where it goes. Puts his arms around me says he lovea me again etc…Wednesday we apend the evening together. Thursday he isn’t feeling well I stay home. Friday morning he sends me a “Gm” text. Right then I knew something was up. He proceeds to breakup via text. I call. He tells me everything is too much, he works everyday, which he does. It sounded like he was in panic mode, just kept rambling. Said I’m an amazing person, but “sh**” didn’t work out. So sorry. later that day I return the car get my stuff he drives me to my cousins house, where he proceeds to tell me I’m an amazing gf, that I gave him more love than he felt he could give me back, he’s in a dark place. He cried, could barely look at me. He actually held my hand for a bit, we hugged and he left. I was crushed.
That weekend i didn’t speak to him. Sunday I accidentally pocket dialed him, really I sisnt want to talk to him. I realized this and texted him saying sorry was an accident. He replies with no biggie, don’t want me to not text or call, always happy to hear from me. The next day he tells me I left some stuff at his place. I tried to reach him to go get it, he lives 25 miles away. He isn’t there, I text him he tells me he is at dinner and we can meet up sometime that week.
Next day he messages me asking if he can call me later. Later on comes and he mesaages again saying he is sick can’t talk really wants a clear head. Says its nice knowing I’m there.
Next morning I ask how he is feeling hiow ya feel better, etc. He tells me he’s at his child’s school function he’ll contact me later. Throughout the day we are both on FB, I liked a couple posts…we chat a bit. Talked about the car, I offered to help with it, he declined. Says he’s doesn’t want to be in a relationship, please respect his decision and then boom. Blocked me on his phone and FB.
I was wrong went to his place after i had a couple drinks, askes him why he did that, he said because every time he’s on FB I’m on and trying to talk to him. Nope. Sorry I was staying away and only replying if he contacted me. That’s the truth. Said again that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship, there is no one else.
Well, it didnt end well, of course.
We don’t speak. Several days later I got to him to apologize for my behavior, its not like me to do that. He said give him a few weeks and we’ll talk. This all happened beginning of October. I played low. Halloween comes around I’m still work a good friend comes in to see me. I find out a week later he went in my phone, got my ex’s number and texted him as if it was me saying how nice it is for him to have a gf….I about died when my “friend” confessed this to me. I was mortified. I’m not going to lie, I was a wreck, the same week we broke up, found out my sister’s breast cancer was back, I got into an accident and also found out him and I were actually pregnant towards the end and I miscarried. Of which I did tell him before my “friend” texted him. My ex agreed to meet with me to talk about it and he bailed on me. Told me he was busy, he had his son at least minute.
That was november 3. I haven’t talked to him since. Im friends, sort of with his ex wife. I reaches out to her 2 weeks ago to give her video of my ex and his dad at the shooting range that he wanted but didn’t get a chance to send. I just wanted him to have it and I didnt want it anymore. She was very nice asked how things were I told her great because they are and she was more than happy to help out, hoped that he and I could become friends again as well
The last time we spoke he said “i cant have you in my life right now, get your shit together and we’ll talk”. He still didn’t know all that had been going on with me. Never got a chance to tell him. Nothing crazy just life. But it affected my behavior and reasoning skills.
That was a month and half ago. A gf of mine knows him, she asked why he broke up with me, he said just wasnt meant to be, im not the one. This is a stark contrast of how he was, what he said and what he did right up until the day he broke up with me. He never said anything like that to me. She said he shut right down after that, didn’t want to talk about it anymore. she said it was weird.
I’ve focused on me and my girls, have a great new job, new car..things are going really well. Just I cannot shake this very strong gut feeling that this is all wrong. No man has ever touched my heart and life like he did and I had some walls up that he took down.
I’d like to at least just have a normal conversation with him. Quiet, chill. Mature. We are both the same age, late thirties.
I miss him terribly just wish he would acknowledge that I even exist, that we did happen and we are better than how it ended. . I never thought he’d be like this. i dont understand what happened or why. Everything was really great. Lots of love and passion. people would comment to us in public how happy we looked, they’d see us and smile nod there head.
What do I do?? Just give up and let go?
Please help me somehow…
Thank you
Theresa

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 14, 2017 at 4:53 pm

Hi Theresa,
Why don’t you tell him what really happened to you?

M.S

December 10, 2017 at 10:32 pm

Hello,

I was in a relationship with my b/f for about 2.5 yrs. We loved eachother so much, But The last year was full of fights between us but most of them were handled by communicating we were best friends from the beginning. One of these fights affected him so deep that he told me he lost security and he tended to protect himself and became defensive, though how much i tried to give in the relationship to compensate such a damage trying to make him forget , he came to the point that he stopped giving or investing in our relationship as he used to due to that damage and he told me that he lost feelings towards anything in life and that he felt a mess cuz his future is unclear yet.
I was really doing my best to save him but unfortunately one day he vanished I couldn’t reach him out , the next day he picked up my call and told me that he doesn’t love me like before and that if he continued in this relationship it would be such an oppression for me.
I left him 3 weeks without reaching him at all,
Then I decided to text him , i told him that whatever happens I will be there and he will always be my best friend and the best person I have known, and sent him a picture the coulds over the sea during the sunset, and commented that I know how much he loves that scene. He read the msg and never responded, and blocked me the next day on WhatsApp and Instagram.
He never blocked anyone , I can’t believe what he did .
When you mentioned that you blocked your ex g/f forever cuz you had many fights I had fear that my story is similar to that and he will block me forever!
What can you advise me to try to reach him after going through another NC?
I’m so hurt that I lost my best friend and my lover suddenly.

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 12, 2017 at 5:36 am

Hi MS,

For now, focus in improving yourself and being active in posting. Do posts that just stays there unless you remove them and make them public

Nikki jones

December 1, 2017 at 3:21 pm

I have a guy who keeps coming back in my life. In 10 years, he has come back around 5 different times. This last time he really wanted a relationship and we were doing good. Then bam he took off. He gets scared of his feelings i think. I tried to get him back after he decided to end it. I texted and called too much. Not a lot but too much for him. So now im blocked. Is there a way to fix this? Will he come back?

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 4, 2017 at 6:44 am

HI Nikki,

check this one:
How To Get An On Again/Off Again Boyfriend Back

Anonymous One

November 30, 2017 at 9:29 pm

My now ex-boyfriend and I decided after a year and a half into our relationship to move in together per his suggestion. We went through the motions of searching for apartments and applying for the one we liked. I would also like to add that he had been separated about 2 months prior to us meeting and has been the entire duration of our relationship. His claim is that he carried some debt upon his departure from the union and was looking to get in a better financial state as he was aware that this divorce would be an upward battle and could potentially cost thousands of dollars. His “wife” had also moved forward with someone else as well but still liked to have the upper hand and used the kids to do so.

He had cut ties with her as far as separate accounts, taking names off of cars and signing the house completely over to her shortly after we met. He gave NO indication that he was looking to reconcile his marriage and was very adamant about it to me, her, his family and his friends. Him and I were beginning to merge our lives with our kids, joint bank accounts, sharing phone plans and finally moving in together. There were lots of talk about marriage. He introduce me to everyone we’d meet as his future wife!

Fast forward to about a month ago when we were approved for the place we liked. We always got along GREAT – sure there were little bickerments as couples do but we always got past them. We were the best of friends and can count on one another. As soon as we were approved and he informed his wife of the news all that changed. She would try to start problems in our relationship and succeeded. I felt it was jealousy on her part because we were moving forward and her relationship with her SO wasn’t progressing as he too is still married and separated as well. Suddenly my ex and I were arguing and fighting every day. Things escalated verbally with extremely hurtful words that got worse with each passing day. I never had any reason not to trust him but was feeling a little insecure at that point with this extreme shift in his negative demeanor.

One night I took his phone and went through it as he has always given me the code. I did NOT find any romantic conversations with anyone. I went through his pictures and saw 3 pornographic gifs and short videos that I found a little shocking. I understand that men do look at that stuff but I was still hurt and it made me feel a little inadequate as a woman. I confronted him on it and he explained that his friends in group text send this stuff to each other and even laugh about it. He showed the messages to me to prove it. I did harbor hurt and resentment when all he wanted to do was get passed it. A few days later I told him that I didn’t trust him and that he was sneaky (I did not mean that but said it from a place of hurt and resentment – I shouldn’t have done that). He said there was no point in being together. When I told him if that was what he wanted then fine, he said “no, we’ll get through it.”

That night he came home and we got into another argument. I took his phone he wrestled me to the ground. I wouldn’t give his phone back. He became enraged and things were thrown and pushing and shoving took place. This had NEVER happened before. It got bad. The police were called by his mother who lives 30 minutes away and both our families became involved. The next day he moved out of our place back to his mothers, informed our landlord in doing so, took his name off the utilities and BLOCKED me off of everything except for Instagram & Snapchat. He has not removed any of our mutual friends however and my phone on his plan is still in service.

A little background on his mother: she and I never really got along as she is creepily overbearing (she once said, “If I was 20 years younger and he wasn’t my son…” Yeah, pretty weird in my book!). I’m thinking between her and the separated wife they had a tremendous influence on him causing this extreme behavioral change (and in turn sparking my insecurities). His mother went as far as claiming she was diagnosed with cancer 2 days prior to moving in. I really can’t confirm if it was true or not but I often wonder as many people have caught her in several lies before. She has been divorced 4 times because no man except her son is willing to put up with her.

I know how my ex and I were before finding our place. We were crazy in love with each other excited about our future together. I haven’t contacted him about anything as of yet because i went to my mothers place for the time being. Since the police were called by his mother they enacted a no contact order for 72 hours so we couldn’t talk to work it out even if we wanted to and neither of us wants to violate that. I don’t know what to do at this point. I love this guy and I feel that he feels the same. I was without a doubt wrong for taking his phone and snooping. I should have trusted him and gave him back HIS phone when he asked for it instead of resisting causing the situation to unfold like it did.

Maybe he wants to go…I don’t know. I just can’t understand how things could go from being so great and positive and then turn negative in such a short time. This type of episode is not our normal typical behavior in how we interact with one another. Truthfully, I don’t want us to part and I’m not sure if he does since he was completely in this and dedicated to our relationship up till this point. I really want things to go back to the way they were 2 months ago. We were so very caring and considerate of each other but allowed the jealous outsiders to indirectly influence the balance of our relationship dynamic.

PLEASE give me some insight on what I can expect from this and if this relationship is still salvageable, what can I do on my part to get us there.

Thanks!

EBR Team Member: Amor

December 2, 2017 at 5:59 pm

Hi,
After 72 hours, talk calmly about the status of your relationship
If he doesn’t want to work things out, start the nc period 21-30 days..

Kealani

November 27, 2017 at 9:19 am

I think my problem is that I always forgive him and always give in so he is just taking advantage

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 28, 2017 at 1:52 pm

Hi Kealani,

do you want to try the advice above?

Kealani

November 27, 2017 at 9:17 am

So me and my bf was together for 2 years and everytime we have a fight he blocks me I can’t really know what going on but it’s just I give him so much and treat him so well and he always hurts me and I’m also his first love and first one to meet his parents but everytime I try to ask him for time he doesn’t want he complains so that’s the whole argument but this is not the biggest I just don’t understand why he always blocks me and he works at out family business and he is still hereand he always like to play off that he is happy what does me mean
Gina Diodati

November 22, 2017 at 4:36 pm

Well, it happened. I was blocked on fb this morning and went straight to his house for an answer! I wasn’t mad, just completely shocked. My issue is a bit different and I’m blindsided but after reading your “revenge” piece, I kind of understand a possibility of why I was blocked. We met in May, and hit it off fast. We really liked each other a lot and he started to pull away. I chased, got annoying and he pulled further away. I went NC and he started to drunk text me and wanting to see me again. I finally broke NC and started to talk to him again. We were in a good place just last week! We started talking through fb and hung out and I slept over and we talked about our lives like we didn’t miss a beat. After leaving his place, I sent him a nice positive message “It was nice seeing you etc” I got no response but I didn’t reach out again. I decided to just give him space again but I was going to message him on FB this morning to see what his plans where for Thanksgiving and realized he blocked me this morning. We were just talking through FB yesterday…all positive. But, I do have a ton of admirers on FB and get over 300 to 400 likes on my pictures from men. This was always an issue with us. I’m bubbly and sociable (but respectful) and he’s quiet and shy. Recently, I got over 450 likes on a picture with over 100 comments mostly by men. I never converse with these men ever. I’m just polite and like their comment. I’m thinking this is a major cause of things. That and he’s already in another relationship yet he says he’s seeing other people and not dating anyone. He’s dating someone, I know. When we talked this morning in person, he said he’s trying to move on with his life and it’s hard with seeing me. He said he wants to finally move on. I’m hurt because why bother with the whole drunk texting and wanting to see me BS just this past week? This is him though. He pulls and pushes. That’s all he ever does.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 24, 2017 at 11:28 am

Hi Gina,

How long was your first nc? Do a second nc but take it slow in building rapport after it.

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