What To Do After The No Contact Rule- Exact Steps To Take!

225 thoughts on “What To Do After The No Contact Period”

Jkjkjk

February 18, 2019 at 9:40 am

We met as children and 15 years later reconnected on the other side of the world on holiday, there was this insane spark, we ended up being a couple and have been travelling a lot during the year we were together. We broke up almost 2 months ago now, we were arguing a lot (mostly due to my trust issues) we had more ups than downs but the last few months we’ve been arguing more so than usual. I of course made the mistake of pleading, begging and surprise, surprise, that didn’t work. He said that if we get back together now, the same problems will resurface and I completely agree. He told me we were completely broken up and that I should focus on myself. We dediced to take a break and just do what makes us happy, meaning no contact and we set a specific date for us to be able to reach out to each other again. (We also set a date 3 months from now to grab coffee together to catch up. (sidenote: he also told me during the break up talk that we’ll see if there’s still a spark between us after a few months, and see what happens. But, I’m not sure if he just said that to make me feel better about the break up or not…) We did 6 weeks of complete radio silence. On the date that we agreed on, he reached out to me and asked if he could give me a call which was a surprise since I was expecting a quick text… and it ended up being a videocall that lasted an hour and a half. He updated me on everything that he has been doing, told me some funny stories that he’s been wanting to tell me, that he’s busy with work to do anything else, he talked about his family and the issues that were going on… it was light, and at the same time deep. No awkward silences, I kept my cool and we just catched up. After the call, I send him a funny video that reminded me of him and that was it. Is there a possibility of us ever getting back together in your opinion? Should I continue no contact and wait for him to reach out, or is it fine for me to reach out to him every now and then?
Brian

February 15, 2019 at 2:54 am

After 45 days of no contact with my ex (he broke up with me), I decided to reach him out. He is from Venezuela (we live in another Country) and because the political situation is very hard and he has parents living there, I sent a message encouraging and giving him some support. He replied me back with 2 messages very well thought and positive. I was so glad and answered back giving some comments about what he wrote me. Weirdly almost 3h later I did not see any notification that my message was read. (everything was on whatsapp and I saw him online). I did not want to keep checking if he would read what I sent so I decided to remove the conversation (this does not affect anything. He still could see the messages, except myself). Why was he so communicable first but then did not want to even read my message? Maybe he read later… I’m too confused. For a moment I thought that he would be open for a chat, but then I felt a kind disregard. What might have happened?

Chris Seiter

February 16, 2019 at 12:52 am

Hi Brian…so just lay back a few days, then try reaching out again. In the days to come, it will be come clear were his head is. Try not analyze too much until you have much more information, then you can adapt to the situation and plan accordingly.

Pelly

February 7, 2019 at 11:56 pm

I love love your program and I have been following up all the way.
My ex and I dated for 4years. we were truly in love. We were the talk of the town. Everyone single one admired us. He was my dream man. He separated and 10months ago n i didn’t get to speak with him for 10months that is after the break up. I want him back. Tho he is in a relationship, I texted him few days ago and his response was neutral. He responded about 3mins after. It’s a good sign n since I want him back, I don’t want to hurry so am applying all ur rules with patients, hoping for the best. Do you have any thing you wish to add to help me? I will b more than greatful.

Chris Seiter

February 8, 2019 at 10:05 pm

It seems you are on the right track. Just go it slow. Follow my Program steps on texting. If you need more detailed examples, go pick up my 355 page eBook, “The Texting Bible”.

Alaa

January 25, 2019 at 8:01 pm

Hey Chris,

Just wanted to reply to what you said earlier.. I AM following your program and I think it is efficient and right 😀
Thank you so much for your hard work,
I will keep you updated of what happens next.

Thanks again!

Chris Seiter

January 25, 2019 at 10:35 pm

Hi there Alaa..best of luck to you!

Alaa

January 24, 2019 at 2:54 pm

Hey Chris,

Thank you so much for replying to my replies,
I have been reading your articles and following them

As I mentioned before.. I have already told my boyfriend to think about his answer and gave him time for a month
The NC is supposed to end on Saturday.

So I am wondering if it would be better to suggest that we meet to hear him out, or just read his answer and what he has to say via text.
Also.. what if it was the other way around? That he asks to see me? Should I refuse or go?

And I am kind of lost about what to tell him as well, do I tell him about my feelings for him if he refused to be in a relationship with me? Or just let him be and extend the NC?

Thanks!

Chris Seiter

January 24, 2019 at 4:11 pm

Hi Alaa! Thanks for your kind words. IF you are following my Program, you will want to build things slowly via text, then move toward a casual meetup. Pick up my Guide (EBR PRO) if you have not already to have full view of how all this come together!

Vaibhav

January 21, 2019 at 4:10 pm

I was in long distance relationship for an year. I was over possessive for her and tried to control her life . So she broke up with me saying her parents came to know about our relationship and she don’t want to break her parent’s trust again. I begged her after break-up for 4 months but she wasn’t convinced then I didn’t contact her for next 2 months during this period she used to block and unblock me . After these 2 months I texted her a normal text and she replied. So now onwards How should I proceed??
Collins

December 16, 2018 at 4:16 pm

Hi,
Am Collins. I was dating a girl and i love her a lot. But she keeps breaking up with me and i keep begging her to come back. She has left 3 times and i beg her 3 times, and now she has left again for the 4th time. She says i talk too much and make people know we are dating. She also said am not her type of guy. But now i don’t know if i should beg her again to forgive me and come back or let her be. I really love her. What should i do?
Megan

October 18, 2018 at 3:13 pm

My ex broke up with me about 2 half months ago. He said being in a relationship is stressful, and that we should both work on ourselves. He said he sees a future with me but doesn’t want a relationship right now.Of course I was really upset and begged for us to give it another shot. Since then we have been talking kind of on and off. But now I’m in the middle of no contact. I’m just not sure what to text him when the no contact period is over.

Chris Seiter

October 18, 2018 at 11:07 pm

Hi Megan!

Sometimes a break is good. You should pick up my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book”. I discuss in 247 pages all the facets and permuations of the NC principle and provide examples of how you deal matters of healing. And with regard to texting ideas, you can turn to my 355 page eBook, “The Text Bible” or my 485 pate core ex recovery eBook, (PRO) to get a well rounded blueprint on the entire process.

sara

September 16, 2018 at 4:00 pm

Hi

I have had a period of 3 months without contact with my ex-boyfreind. I wrote to him and he responded positively. We met at a cafe and we enjoyed ourselves. He loves me and I love him. But what now? How do we get in a relationship again? I’m afraid to lose him again because it seemed like he was not ready, but he still he could not see a life with another girl then me. We broke up duo to his depression and he is in remission now. I feel we his afraid to start over with me, but i wants to, so how do i get him back for good?

Chris Seiter

September 17, 2018 at 4:05 am

Hi Sara…so keep the positive momentum going, but in little steps…little moves…keeping things positive and fun and avoiding serious relationship talk.

Leah

August 20, 2018 at 9:57 pm

Hey , I truly hope you can get back to me ,
Me and my ex were together for about 5 months and we hit it off so well but eventually our own personal stress kept getting in the way i post poned college to take care of my sisters while my mom tened to my stepdad in the hospital I have two jobs and had to temporarily move , he has a condition called ms and he had his own personal problems we slowly ended up taking it out on each other and he and I became distant , he ended up calling it off because it was tiring and not very good with all the stress, he said it was mentally exhausting and I agreed we ended on good terms w edidnt argue or say anything bad he didn’t block my number or my Facebook , I feel we do need space to reasses the situation and I do hope it works out I’ve been reading about you’re stories on nc and I believe that would help to miss each other and work out our lives but because we ended on good terms and because we weren’t together long does the 30 days seem right for my situation I know you wrote an article stating certain situations are different and I just want to ensure that I’m not waiting to long to initiate contact since it wasn’t a bad fight I have no bad feelings and I do think it’ll work out can you please get back to me to reassure me what could be the right path?!

Chris Seiter

August 20, 2018 at 11:25 pm

Hi Leah….yes…stress can weigh on a relationship. I agree, space can be good medicine. I am thinking a shorter NC for your situation…..17-21 days.

Cathy

August 3, 2018 at 6:31 pm

What if he is the one who went no contacf -I hurt his ego
When marriage cinco
Came up I said – I didnt know if I ever would be ready to get remarried again
Apparently it was a deal breaker for him
We are Late 40’s he has never been married and ready
He new I wasn’t looking to
Get remaried from beginning
Which is th problem for
Me I didn’t mislead him and he chose to
Pursue me fresh out of a 24 year marriage

I needed a bit more time keeping my independence before planning to get a place together then married

Allso x is not
Cooperating with divorce
So that’s a big issue
he didn’t think I was prioritizing getting that finalized

I have tried to reach out to him he won’t respond
I am a little old for this type
Of thing g
Seems like good tactics for younger people

I
Miss this man i love him and I know he loves me

Seems
More like a
conflict avoidance issue which is my biggest concern
When the discussion ended I didn’t hear from him for two days sent him a text with the tone of..:.”since I havnt heard from you I am assuming you are ending the relationship”
It started with me bringing up something that was bothering me about our physical relationship I noticed he wasnt pursing sexy with me As much I was the one Initiating it more and I wanted to know why

He said he was guarding his heard whichled into the other conversation about next steps moving in, marriage and my divorce

Some of his family handles or handled things by punishing with silent treatment
His brother hasn’t spoken to him in almost 10 years both his parents died when he was young his brother was his guardian which makes that even worse
He definitely has some abandonment issues which I think cqme up
And a past struggle with amphetamines too

Been sober for 8 years no relapses -we were together for 9 months and I didn’t see any other cross addictions -works a strong program good accountability and leads a group
I have been in recent very for other end x is addicted to pain killers
Which is reason for divorce

Good communication up until now
Not sure if this is worth the trouble I don’t really want to chase him

feel like there is some emotional immaturity but I can say -this no contact thing works cuz I miss him!!

Chris Seiter

August 4, 2018 at 2:44 am

Hi Cathy!

Its best to have an ex recovery plan to give yourself the best chance. Go visit my website home page and look at some of the tools and resources I have there! Take some time to make sure you are taking care of “you”….your own emotional recovery. I realize he is working thru his own issues..

Mmathapelo

August 3, 2018 at 1:19 am

What if texting is a bad idea because my ex boyfriend doesn’t like texting. He could view the message and ignore it.

Chris Seiter

August 3, 2018 at 4:04 am

That is always possible. Every situation is unique and one needs to make modifications. Chose what you think will work for you. If it must be a phone call or an email, then consider that. But the principles are the same. If you really want to drill down into all the details, go to my home page as I have tools, ebooks, podcasts, videos, and all kinds of things to help you construct your ex recovery plan. Gotta have on to better your chances!

Sudharsan

August 1, 2018 at 7:06 am

After no contact rule also, my gf saying I don’t want you, I will not come back to your life, start a new life

Chris Seiter

August 2, 2018 at 3:38 am

Perhaps you should extend the NC period and also look at whether you were doing the right things to build value and be noticed by her. Review my website’s home page to see all the resources I offer to people that helps them with their own plan

Zoey

March 25, 2018 at 5:06 am

hi,i posted here two days ago
anyway,i finished my 35 days,i was so positive and happy during this period! i sent to him my first hi and no reply then sent another asking for help,actually he replied and promsied me he will do his best to help me then sent another he was busy and angry…anyway yesterday,he gave me all informations i need but he was so neutral and angry..when i made a joke,he continues his speech without any positive or funny response.. i was needy after nc rule because i thought he forgot me but i suddenly stopped because i realized i made mistake…what is your advice?

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 28, 2018 at 6:26 pm

Hi Zoey
How active are you in posting in social media? Check this one too:
How To Properly Start A Conversation With Your Ex After No Contact

Zoey

March 23, 2018 at 12:24 pm

hi,i did my nc period 35 days!!
i could not believe i did it..then i sent my 1st hi,he did not reply,i sent the next day i need your help,he replied as fast as possible but he apologized for being busy and promised me he will do his best for me! the next day i sent to him he was cold and told me he is busy,i really did sth stupid and insisted to stay to help me,he became so angry and told me when you speak very well,i will reply very well,i apologized and said i am busy now so i am busy….what is your advice? 🙁
Gina

February 2, 2018 at 7:41 pm

Amor can you answer my question. Me and my ex broke up and I went no contact for 35 days and I recently contacted him 2 texts in a period of a week)but I don’t know what kind of reply. he just basically said how have you been? Talked about how he is been then I ended the conversation. The thing is I see him almost everyday and he always stares but he does not initiate texting me. I think he is just being nice. I don’t know what my next step should be just wait for him to contact me or keep sending him txts?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 7, 2018 at 12:36 pm

Hi Gina,

You can initiate, check this one:
Texting An Ex Boyfriend (The New Rules)

Sarah

January 25, 2018 at 1:27 am

Hi,

I tried posting earlier but it disappeared so forgive me if this is a repeat… So far I have initiated 4 texts with my ex boyfriend and in between he initiated 1 text. I tried to space out my texts to 3-4 days over a 3 week period and his responses were generally quite positive. In our last text conversation, he even sent a double text to check on why i stopped replying after not responding for an hour. So i would say things are going in the right direction?

I need advice on what should I do next? should I keep on initiating texts to build rapport? Won’t it look like I am chasing him/interested if I keep sending him messages?

Also, one thing to note, during our relationship, we seldom spoke on the phone. We either texted or met in person. So there won’t be a progress to phone conversation stage… Also, he did mention casually during our texts that we should meet up soon. But I am not sure if he meant it as he did not follow up to set up any plans… What does that mean?

Thanks and hope to hear back soon!

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 25, 2018 at 7:43 pm

Hi Sarah,
it’s ok to initiate, what’s more important is that you’re the one ending the conversation at high point and if you’re not keen to calls before, it’s ok to jump to meet ups but that would mean you need to do a longer time building rapport in text.

Sarah

January 24, 2018 at 5:22 am

Hi,

I have a similar question to one of the questions above… So far I have initiated 4 texts with my ex boyfriend and in between he initiated 1 text. I tried to space out my texts to 3-4 days over a 3 week period and his responses were generally quite positive. In our last text conversation, he even sent a double text to check on why i stopped replying after not responding for an hour. So i would say things are going in the right direction?

I need advice on what should I do next? should I keep on initiating texts to build rapport? Won’t it look like I am chasing him/interested if I keep sending him messages?

Also, one thing to note, during our relationship, we seldom spoke on the phone. We either texted or met in person. So there won’t be a progress to phone conversation stage… Also, he did mention casually during our texts that we should meet up soon. But I am not sure if he meant it as he did not follow up to set up any plans… What does that mean?

Thanks and hope to hear back soon!

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 25, 2018 at 7:43 pm

Hi Sarah,
it’s ok to initiate, what’s more important is that you’re the one ending the conversation at high point and if you’re not keen to calls before, it’s ok to jump to meet ups but that would mean you need to do a longer time building rapport in text.

Linda

January 21, 2018 at 11:37 am

Hi is Linda again.. so I already done the NC for the 2nd time as what you suggested. So last week is his birthday and I wanted to wish him on the day itself but I postponed it to next day. Well I got a positive respond and to add to this he was telling me about his life etc and we did flirt a bit. Then bom the next day he when cold silent . So my question to you now is should I wait another 3 days to initiate the follow up conversation? Or he just feeling lonely and wanted someone to talk too . Or should I just leave him alone..

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 22, 2018 at 3:29 am

By cold silent, did you mean he didn’t respond again or he just didnt initiate? If it’s the latter, that’s normal..there’s no rapport yet..so, you can still initiate after 3 days

anna

January 16, 2018 at 7:19 am

hello!
for me it is kinda different but i believe the impact on NC will be same so i did it for 2 weeks before and after 2 weeks he was begging for my attention but the situation is that we never had official relationship over a year and i always feel like i am the one who is begging. but after trying the NC rule we went to 1 date and 1 day after that day i told him “i think i fell in love with you again” he had a very positive response but as far as i am concerned by the time i told this to him he started ignoring me. Should i do the NC rule again?

EBR Team Member: Amor

January 18, 2018 at 6:21 am

Hi Anna,

this time do 30 days, and don’t say that again after nc.. take it slow in building rapport.. Make him work for your yes..

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225 thoughts on “What To Do After The No Contact Period”