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Whitney
July 13, 2016 at 8:40 pm
A week after my ex boyfriend broke up with me he sent the test message “Are you moving” and then three days after that he sent a check up message “You just not gonna text me back.” What comes after this?
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 14, 2016 at 5:39 pm
Hi Whitney,
why did you break up and why did you decide to do nc?
ch
July 13, 2016 at 5:00 am
SO my boyfriend and I were dating for close to 2 years. He broke up with while I was crying about the death of my dad. It really messed me up and I swore to never forgive him but a few weeks later I did and we causaly talk for a month, with me saying that he missed me and him saying that he was on the fence. He said that he ” knew what he was giving up.. yet didn’t care enough to change his ways.” and with this I decided to move on. I know that he is currently with a FWB situation with a girl at his job and pushed me even more to move on. He messaged me 2 twice .. once on facebook and one via text.. I igbored both.. then a month later he messaged me “So what do you think about me now?” I ignored it.. then the next day, he messaged me “Can I get my stuff back?” I said yes. He thanked me and said that he wanted to give me my stuff back. I set his stuff outside of my house and when he came to get it. I texted him saying “Leave my stuff ouside.” And he said.. ” Are you sure?” Im pretty sure he wanted me to come outside to get it but I just said yea. (This was the last time I texted him back ever again) Then he texted me ” Thank you.” 3 weeks after that he messages me “how are you doing?” Then the next day ” You are beautiful”
I was just wondering if you can give me some insight into what you think this could possibly mean. I am completely over him.. I am so disgusted by his actions that I don’t even want to be friends with him.. But I still want him to feel regret for treating me the way he did. I doubt that he is feeling regret right now. He is too busy with his FWB but I would want it to happen some day. But the thing is if I never hear/see him ever again I would totally happy with that.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 13, 2016 at 5:27 pm
Hi Ch,
he probably didn’t expect you to do this and since you have moved on, you appearer to be the ungettable girl for him but I agree that you should move on from him..
misscani
July 11, 2016 at 10:53 pm
Does it make sense to start NC if it seems like he is starting to try to build rapport?
Misscani
July 12, 2016 at 3:36 pm
Essentially we were together for almost two years and now have a baby due in September. We broke up about a month ago now. I am 28 and he is 24. Throughout our relationship he has always been the one to introduce the idea of new commitments: he talked me into moving in, brought up marriage all the time, the idea of having kids together, etc. He ended the relationship because he felt “tied down” and the baby coming made him realize that if he didn’t take the time to work on himself/get to know himself that he would never have the opportunity and he was afraid that if he stayed in the relationship it would inevitably fail in the long run because he would regret not doing this down the road. He explained that he still loved me and the person I am but that he thought it was the right thing to do to end things now instead of drawing them out and possibly making it harder later on. He said he was willing to stay for the baby if I needed him to but I told him that was wrong and he needed to do what he needed to do. Sometimes I wonder if it was just another way of wording the old “it’s not you, it’s me” line but at the same time since the break up he really has been doing a lot to work on himself and has not been actively pursuing other women or anything and the situation does make it understandable that he would come to this realization under the amount of pressure a baby coming puts on anyone. (side note- he is very, very adamant about being 100% there for me and our daughter and wants to be the best father he can be, and I know that no matter what happens between us he will be). We knew going forward we would need to be in contact for our daughter and wanted to keep things positive but never really laid out how that was going to go. The first couple of weeks were odd he started out just sending messages daily asking how i was and how the baby was doing and i would reply with simple answers and he would always say to let him know if we needed anything. Then, he started sending random things, like to ask if i ever found my sunglasses or if I wanted him to build a fence for my dog, etc. He texted me before leaving to go to the lake camping with his family for the second weekend saying that he had something for me and stopped by the house (I am staying with family currently) to give me my sunglasses (same pair as aforementioned; he found them cleaning out the truck to pack for camping) and some mail, told me again to let him know if i needed anything, and left. He sent a number of snapchats all weekend of just random stuff they were doing, most he sent to other people as well. I didn’t respond to anything. We haven’t had a NC period– I only just found this blog talking about it and have read the page on the NC rule during pregnancy/when you have children but wasn’t sure how to navigate it before. So, for the next week we just had more generic small talk (I never initiate contact– always him and I always try to keep my responses as brief as possible) and things got a little sour because I got frustrated and started responding negatively but he said he wanted us to have a good relationship and I apologized and we decided to talk. So he invited me to the house and our conversation that day was very friendly and even a little flirty. He bought some steaks to grill us for dinner and we talked while he cooked, he explained how the past two weeks had been good for him he was starting to feel good about himself he was trying to take better care of himself, etc. I told him I didn’t understand how things got sour since the break up was amicable and we were friends a long time before we got together so it sucked we lost that etc. and he agreed and said he’d like us to be best friends and hang out and that I should always feel comfortable showing up at the house when I wanted and that I should leave clothes there since I would be there a lot. We ended up sleeping together (mistake, I know), which felt normal at the time bc at that point we were just talking normally and everything felt normal in that moment. The next week we just had more generic small talk but he invited me to come to the family 4th of July get together so I went to that and the whole day it really just felt like we were together again- he was holding my leg while driving the car, cuddling next to me on the couch at his sister’s house, we had a fun time making balloons with his nieces and shooting fireworks. He started sending me messages most every morning telling me to have a good day and he hasn’t missed sending me a good night text since. He still calls me pet names and I had originally started calling him things I call my friends like “bruh” etc. but he said he’s not my bro he’s more than that so I have been mirroring his pet names. We haven’t seen each other since the 4th and texts were a little generic briefly but recently he has been putting a lot of effort in to making our exchanges into actual conversations. He also talks a lot about things he wants to do in the future like going to the mountains when it gets cooler, taking our daughter camping, going to the gym together once the baby comes and I can start working out again, etc. He suggests songs I would like, sends pictures he thinks I’ll find amusing and things like that. I’m afraid I’ve just fallen into friend territory but at the same time he peppers his messages with kissy-face emojis and pet names, so yesterday I woke up feeling frustrated (maybe pregnancy hormones, I never know) and decided not to reply to his messages. By the end of the day he had started to worry and was asking if I was ok, tried calling, and this morning sent me another message asking what was going on. He messaged my dad on facebook asking if I was ok, and my dad told him I was fine. I haven’t heard anything since but now I’m wondering if that was the wrong move and if I should continue NC or not, and if not how I should restart conversation to keep things positive.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 12, 2016 at 7:03 pm
hmmmm….it’s better to restart count because he’s so used to talking to you and you being ok with it.. you have to tell him you won’t be able to talk because you need to do a lot of stuff for adjusting as a pregnant woman but you’ll inform him if there’s anything about the baby and you’ll reach out again once your schedule is better.. and then start limited nc.. be active with yourself.. do yoga outside.. exercises for pregnant women, read, any classes for you at this phase,.go out with friends.. shoo for your baby..establish a life of your own
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 12, 2016 at 1:56 pm
Hi Misscani,
elaborate your situation more..coz it’s hard to say
Kiki
July 9, 2016 at 11:43 am
I did the no contact rule. About a week before my completion on my no contact rule. My ex actually liked a photo of us from my old post in social media, also liked a link that I shared getting my attention. Upon completion of my no contact rule 30days, I posted a photo that got his attention and he actually direct message me. I didn’t reply to his question as I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. It’s been a month from the day he texted me. Ever since he texted me, without me replying to him. He has yet to make any other move for e.g. Liking my photos or texting me. I’ve been missing him lately, desperately wanting to reply to the message he sent me a month ago, but somehow felt it’s kinda rude to reply this late. What should I do? I really miss him and want him to know about this. We’ve dated for 6 years, he was my high school sweetheart.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 9, 2016 at 4:52 pm
Hi Kiki,
why didn’t you reply back when you’re nc was done that day? anyways..just initiate a different topic..
Laura
July 7, 2016 at 8:50 pm
Hi,
This is such a great site! Long story short, by boyfriend and I have been on and off (mostly on, though) for 4 years. He has started a new career and wants to move to Boston next spring (we live in Chicago now)..About two months ago we got into a fight but made up. After we made up he was vague, but said “start looking for jobs in Boston, we’re moving next Spring” so I was really excited. MY boyfriend will be in Boston this upcoming weekend and last night he said he was going to look for “his apartment” while he’s there. I got really quiet and when he finally asked me what was wrong, I told him I thought we would be discussing the move as a couple, and he got mad at me! I asked why are you talking about it being “your apartment” – I thought we were moving forward together. Anyway, we got into a fight and he said “it should be clear we aren’t moving things forward” … What happened?
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 8, 2016 at 5:57 am
Hi Laura,
I think he felt attacked when you got upset and then he got angry about that
Lady.C
July 6, 2016 at 6:10 pm
Hi,
I was wondering if you could provide me with some feedback….
Background:
Started dating this guy (lets call him “J”) for about 3 months. At the end of May, after he finished his shift (15hr +) I decided to call him… in which he did not respond. I know, as a girl… I kind of called him twice since he didn’t pick up the first time. When he finally responded with a “I was working a long shift and didn’t see your call”…. I responded with “maybe this isn’t working out” in which he ended up breaking things up with me for reals. So I tried apologizing for the comment and he didn’t respond. Around the same time I was leaving the country for my 2.5 week vacation. We were suppose to meet up before I left, but he decided to change his mind last minute and said he felt pressured. He messaged me twice before I left saying “Have a safe flight and hope you have fun”. In which I did not respond. Fast forward, I come back from my trip and decided to respond with a “I’m safe” text. He proceeded to ask me how my trip was and asked to go for dinner, in which I agreed. We met up on a holiday. So he made reservations. We ate and talked about my trip. It seemed like he was really into the conversation which I thought was odd. He made the comments like “I was about to pick you up from the airport but I had to work”, which in my mind i thought was weird, cause he was the one who broke up with me. He paid for dinner which i thought was odd…. but even more odd was the fact he said “Oh, you could pay for the next dinner….” So after dinner, he surprised me with some fireworks displays which we had fun with. He would ever so often brush my hair like he use to do when we were dating, but I kind of pulled away. At the end of the night, he gave me a hug and asked if I enjoyed the night… I said “Its been a long time since i set off fire works”, but he corrected himself saying “I meant the overall night”. I said it went well.. and gave him a hug. The same night, he sent me pics of the fireworks and a video he took of us watching the fireworks via Facebook. The next morning he sent me random links of firework displays on text. I am really confused as to what is happening. Should I just do NC until he asks for another hang out?
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 7, 2016 at 2:58 pm
hi lady C,
he’s trying to build rapport.. so do it with him slowly too
hi
July 3, 2016 at 10:48 pm
hey I have a quick question. Basically my ex and I broke up 2 years ago and we have tried being friends on and off. Last time we hung out was in November and it was going well until he told me he wanted to be fwb and I said no, then we stopped talking til last week. Somehow im not sure , but he got re added to my snapchat in April and so last Monday, he contacted me randomly on snapchat asking how I was doing and that he wanted my number since he got a new phone. Then we started talking on sc for a week until he asked me to hang out that Friday night for dinner and movie and he called it a “date” which I was really confused about. But I did agree to it but he had to work that Friday so we cancelled but he said he definitely wants to hang sometime soon for sure. Now he hasn’t texted me again and its been 2 days. Im not sure how to act or if I should spark conversation. He also told me that he had something important he wanted to tell me and that I might or might not like it but it would be up to me to make the decision. I was really confused to what he was hinting at and Im pretty sure its not fwb again cause I told him explicitly that I would never get into something like that. can you tell me how to approach this situation and how to act aloof but also attract him? thanks!
hi
July 4, 2016 at 9:36 pm
thanks for replying! Yeah we’ve been in nc for a while now. We have been in nc for a year and then we started talking last november and then we went into nc again for another 7 months, which brings us to the present. During that time, i really improved myself and I found myself finally getting over him and starting fresh. But he randomly contacted me last week saying hi and what i have been up to and that he wanted to see and hang out with me. He like cancels plans at the last minute and it really frustrated me last week, and since then its been 3 days, so should i reach out to him or just wait for him to talk to me again?
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 5, 2016 at 5:01 am
this time, let him to really confirm it for sure on that day of he is coming, and continue to be actively busy in your own life and I think it’s better if you wait for him to initiate this time
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 4, 2016 at 9:13 pm
Hello,
hmm..you haven’t done nc right? do you want to try it?
TextingDisaster
July 3, 2016 at 1:52 pm
Hi folks,
My question is not a 100% related to the article above. Its more about I guess misinterpreting texting intentions.
It has been 4 months since I broke up with my ex. I did NC, worked on myself, changed my appearance. Reinitiated contact. Started texting using tide theory. Went on a few casual dates. We kissed twice. After this my ex went on a holiday for almost a month abroad. He however kept texting me from his holiday and sent me photos etc and he was the one initiating the texts mostly. So at the moment the situation was we kept texting each other about our day every day etc. So I had this awkward situation happen when my crazy friend tried to set me up with this guy (and I am someone who does not like being set up) and neither of us were interested but my crazy friend kept talking and embarrassing me and making the situation super awkward. So I told him I had this awkward story to tell him but I was running late for something so I will tell him later. Now this was the last day of his holiday and he was out partying with his friends. But for some reason he asked me to tell him about the awkward situation when he was still out. So I started texting him and paused to check if I still had his attention and said something like “just when I thought things can’t possibly get any worse guess what happened?”. And his reply was something like “hahaha that is embarrassing.” This told me he hasn’t really read my text and was just giving some superficial reply. And then he started saying things like “But you should give him a try. Things might work out blah blah”. And I suppose after an hour or so I didn’t reply to his texts he went back and read what I wrote because he asked something like “oh what else happened?”. I just got really upset and went to sleep without replying to him. Then in the morning he asked me if I were mad at him. And I just said “no I feel asleep” and left it at that.
So now I am confused about two things: 1) Why would he text me and try to keep a conversation going when he isn’t even reading my texts. and 2) Why would he want me to date other guys? Is he trying to act cool and it is some sort of power play or does he really not care and is friend zoning me? Maybe he is trying to push me more towards a friends with benefits situation because he leaves comments on how sexy I look and how good my photos are etc. which in my experience only gay guy friends or guys who want something more than friendship do. Its really sad because I thought we were progressing so well and we did have some deeper conversations recently like what are the more important qualities to us in partners etc. and now I feel like I have been barking up the wrong tree this whole time and I am nowhere near getting him back. Did I just choose the wrong story to tell him? I am really confused and upset and he initially wanted to watch a movie or go to a fair with me the first evening he is back but now I am not sure if I should meet him being this upset.
I would really appreciate any help or advise. I am really upset and confused and feel like I wasted my time trying to get him back and perhaps I just realistically do not have a chance of getting him back anymore.
Thanks in advance
TextingDisaster
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 4, 2016 at 7:48 pm
hi Texting disaster,
maybe you were.texting him at.a.busy time.. or he was just acting cool woth what you do because it looks like he really likes talking to.you
Mind games 2
July 1, 2016 at 6:37 pm
Awesome, thanks for fast response. I thought that might be the case. So am I just a game to him? Whats my best course of action?
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 3, 2016 at 2:26 pm
start active nc and focus on healing and improving yourself
Mind games 2
July 1, 2016 at 6:03 pm
Did my recent post get deleted? Would love some expert advice before I block my ex number in order to move on. Thanks!
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 1, 2016 at 6:26 pm
hi Mind games 2,
nope.. I’m going to copy paste my answer here there..
it’s because that’s hes defense.. it’s his way of making himself less guilty and to cover up his mistakes…
mind games...2
July 1, 2016 at 5:13 pm
Hi,
You recently gave me advice earlier this month regarding issues I have been having with my ex. I was unavailable and needed to sort out my life in order for us to be in a fully committed relationship with him. After an internal struggle with not wanting to lose him to other woman I said what the hell and we made it official. Meanwhile he has sworn up and down that he has been on dating apps but no dates or anything serious. Due to my trust issues I went snooping and wanted to believe his words. That I am the only woman for him. What I found out was truly appaling. Although he did tell this girl that won’t leave him alone not to communicate with him anymore since he made it official with me I found awful exchanges between them. He had previously wanted to have facetime sex with her and there were some sexy pics from her sent to him. The worst part was he had put his last name to her and suggested marriage which is what he has done for me in the past. Ring emoji and all. There were always dozens of other women exchanges. I of course freaked out and ended it more because of the lying then the messages. He wanted to keep me in the dark. In my mind it was over for good. I ran back to another guy that I am also on and off with which I am not proud of and we did kiss. After a few days no contact the ex came back around wanting to talk. Possible reconciliation. We had a nice day and were hanging out at his apt. I went into his picture section to look to see if he had deleted some pictures of me like he said that he did. He did not but I did find a new and recent picture of that same girl. I was livid and stormed out. We had another talk a few days later and I confessed that I did kiss another man when weren’t talking. In his mind that was the last time I would ever hurt him. His exact words. I find this to be hypocritical due to all of these other exchanges with women. He justifies them by saying he was just joking. I am so tired of the drama and in my mind have thrown in the towel. I was hoping he could prove that he cares about only me but with all of this other women stuff going on how could that be true? My mom thinks he is a control freak and is just playing games with me. Please offer some advice on why he thinks what he does isn’t wrong but I am not allowed to kiss another man after I found out he had been lying to me. I’m back in NC and this time want to get over him. It’s been like this for a year and a half. He also has a habit of blocking my number and fb and then unblocking me time and time again.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 1, 2016 at 6:26 pm
hi Mind games 2,
nope.. I’m going to copy paste my answer here there..
it’s because that’s his defense.. it’s his way of making himself less guilty and to cover up his mistakes…
Maria
July 1, 2016 at 7:25 am
Hey,
What does it mean when your ex tells you he misses you out of the blue and off of his own accord?
Maria
July 3, 2016 at 9:52 pm
How do will I know if he actually misses me, or if he just misses a relationship or sex? He has said that he breaks up with girls and gets back with them a few months later after talking through things. I’m really not up for him breaking up with me again if I do get him back.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 4, 2016 at 9:09 pm
if he makes more effort for you and only for you..that he’s not seeing anybody else
Maria
July 1, 2016 at 9:07 pm
What if he said he’s sorry that he still thinks about me, and he’s sorry that he misses me. It’s confusing, I don’t know what that means. Is he trying to confuse me to string me along, maybe for sex in the near future?
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 3, 2016 at 3:28 pm
hmm that’s hard to read…just tell him it’s ok.. that you’re not holding that up against him
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 1, 2016 at 5:28 pm
hi Maria,
I think that’s what it exactly means.
he misses you
Hanna
June 30, 2016 at 4:05 pm
Hi Amor,
So I’m in a bit unique situation. My ex initiated the brake up but he said he wants me back after fewdays later. But I was angry and wasn’t sure about few things so I kinda resected him. I know I’m crazy. I should’ve just said yes.. Anyways even after that we kept contact each other but he got a new girl..He was done wating for me.. But he wanted to be friends so I said yes(we had a little argue but I finally said yes). We’ve been on and off contacted each other for a month but I thought I should do no contact rule on him so I didnt respond any of his texts for almost 2month and I finally worte him back. He kepet asking about my life but he kinda refused to ansewer my questions just simple stuff like how he is doing.. And he end up asking me if I’m happy, if I’m seeing anyone. I told him the truth I have been on a few dates. He goes like “oh yeah?, nice guys?” I didnt no what to say. Because they werent nice at all. I was wondering what to say and he sent another text said “well I’m really happy for you. You’re wonderful person You deserve to be so so happy”. i’ve been on a few date but none of them were good.. so I told him “it hasnt gone anywhere yet..” And he said” why were they mean to you?” Then I said “it’s very sweet of you to conserend about me” he said “of course I’m conserend abouy you. You are amzaing person. You deserve to be treated with respect” so I said thank you. That was it. I was really sad because he was atcing like protective brother.. haven’t heard from him nealy a month since our last chat I was Impatient and send him picture of the placr that I foundwhile I was back in my home town.
His responded to me and asked me how long did I vistit home and asked me did you have fun. So I sent him a bunch of pictures insted. Wanted to show him what I’ve been doing. But he didnt respond to my pics and ignored me untill today. It’s been towdays and He alwalys respons really quick. Did I do somthing wrong? Was the pic gross him out?
And I feel like he might have blocked me.
I havent send him anything yet do you think I should send him again or just wait for him to reach out to me?
Do you think the pic was bad idea?
Please hlep me I’m really sad.
Thank you for reading this
Hanna
July 2, 2016 at 5:31 pm
Hi Amor,
Thank you for your reply.
Yes it was wholsome I think just some food and places that I went and there was only one pic of me at the place
I’m pretty sure he blocked me..(I have checked)
I don’t understand why..
I know it’s a blog for getting ur ex bf back but I dont think i have that chance anymore. Thanks for all your help.
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 1, 2016 at 1:23 pm
HI Hanna,
Maybe he’s just busy.. but just to clear it, the pics are wholesome right? I think what you need to focus on right is to continue improving yourself while you’re trying to build rapport with him.
Sarah
June 30, 2016 at 2:27 am
Hi, I badly need some advice about a very confusing situation I’ve been in for a year and a half. My boyfriend of one and a half years met another woman when we were going through a rough patch and started dating her and effectively ended it with me. I was so confused because we had been discussing marriage and he had introduced me to his entire family, he told me that they loved me and wanted him to get engaged to me a week after they met me! However we had only been dating for 7 months at the time so I told him when he asked me when I wanted to get married that whenever the time was right but that I saw him as the one.
While he dated this new girl who he met online, he would text me once in awhile about a funny memory or picture he saw of us on Facebook and sent me many mixed signals. In January of this year, we were texting one day when he was at work on a Saturday and it turned into a very deep conversation about the past and how much we missed each other. When I asked him if he wanted to meet and he said things with the “lady friend” are up in the air and couldn’t do that. I was just surprised because I thought they had broken up! A few months later we were still casually texting and he told me he had officially ended things with her and when it seemed like he had feelings for me I suggested we meet once and see how it goes but he said he wanted to spend some time alone and it wasn’t the right time to meet. I waited another month and asked again, he said he was busy and was worried seeing me would confuse him. I was a little confused myself and asked him why we talked every day when he couldn’t see me. Finally he made some loose plans to meet this July after Independence Day weekend but I found a photo of him with his ex-girlfriend (current girlfriend?) on her Instagram and I was furious. She had wrote “Dibs” as the caption and I was so confused because he had finally made plans to meet with me a day before!
I didn’t confront him yet but I asked him why he’s been pushing this plan back to meet me since April now and all he said was that his personal life is slightly complicated. I asked him to elaborate but he ignored me and changed the topic.
Question: if I were to walk away from this right now I still feel like I need a truthful conversation about everything that’s been going on and I don’t know how to approach him or what to say to get an honest answer. Is he just trying us both on for size now or what is going on? Should I ask her?
Thanks!
Sarah
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 1, 2016 at 11:54 am
Hi Sarah,
nope don’t ask any of them.. after a few times of asking him to go out with you, him refusing and then going out with the other girl.. you would just appear to be the chaser.. He kept talking to you while he’s in a relationship, so it wouldn’t be new news if he still doing that.. just start active no contact.
Amber
June 29, 2016 at 3:27 pm
I’m pretty sure my ex is using me. We broke up a year ago. Flash forward to now, (yes, I’ve followed the advice on this site, n.c., etc.) and I can set “dates” with him and we text, but twice now he’s come to me when he’s upset to complain and ask what he should do. However, when he’s in a good mood he’ll often brag about his life. And sometimes when we’re teasing each other, sometimes he’ll say mean things. For example, we were lightheartedly joking about having a huge party and then after a while he randomly replied that he had better things to do.
How do you get an ex back who’s acting like this?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 29, 2016 at 4:45 pm
Hi Amber,..
try this one: How To Know If Your Ex Boyfriend Is Using You
emily
June 29, 2016 at 2:06 am
It has been about 2 months since I have posted. He ended things with me in Feb. I completed no contact. April we began texting for a couple of weeks, mostly positive, building rapport, until he went away for a weekend. He sent me messages while he was there saying he wished I could come meet him. When he returned, I asked how the trip was to which he did not respond. I decided to stop initiating contact and try to move on.
A couple of weeks ago out of the blue he started sending me messages and pictures via snap chat. We have been conversing over the snap chat app the past 3 weekends, and several times during the week as well. He initiates the conversations most times. Most conversations have been small talk about what we are up to throughout the day. He has made several mentions of meeting up, but then doesn’t follow through. He definitely seems to be demonstrating push/pull behaviors with me. Some messages have even gotten flirty and sexual. I have no idea what the motive is here. To me it seems to be a combination of test messages, boredom messages, and booty call messages. This past weekend I heard from him on Friday night, with the last message being from him but I was asleep so I did not see until the next morning. On Saturday I was at a concert and sent him a snap chat to which he has not responded to.
Do you have any ideas on what all of this could mean? Or any advice for the next steps, wait for him to reach out again? Ignore some of his messages? Even though I was getting to a place of moving on, I still would be willing to give this another shot.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 29, 2016 at 4:04 pm
Hi Emily,
try to apply the rules of texting with him.. end the convo at high note.. while talkinh start an interesting topic..
emma, help please!
June 28, 2016 at 9:30 pm
Hello, my ex left me when I was 3 months pregnant. After that he insisted that I get an abortion and then blocked me on all social medias , Now, I’m almost 9 months pregnant and he’s using some guy to spy on me. This new guy contacted me through WhatsApp, he said he saw my phone number online and he wanted information about something. It was an excuse cause he was not interested in that, so he started to talk to me about my pregnancy, asking me who the daddy is, if I’m single, when is the due date and many other questions about my relationship with the father. Every week he talks to me just to ask if they are born yet. He also says he loves my babies which is kinda weird so I started to research who the guy was and I found out that they were friends and are coworkers. Now I know it’s him, my questions are: why is he doing that?? Why doesn’t he just ask me himself? It seems very immature. Should I keep giving him information and pretending I don’t know it’s him or should I stop answering his questions?
emma
June 30, 2016 at 2:05 am
well he never said he is a father he actually is a horrible father he left me pregnant and i`m still pregnant of twins cause i said no to get an abortion, he block me and told me a lot of insults and that never talk to him again ,the one that says that love my babies is the guy who is spying on me, that is his friend 1 hour ago he asked me again if they are born yet and i answering him again but i think you right i need to stop talking to him sorry to ask this again lol but do you have any idea why is he doing that? thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor
July 1, 2016 at 11:39 am
coz he’s not brave enough to face you.. maybe he’s ashamed of how he acted..
emma
June 29, 2016 at 3:35 pm
what if he dont face me ? and why is he doing that? is not too risky stop answering cause is my only way to have some contact with him
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 29, 2016 at 4:47 pm
he’s a father.. he said it himself, he loves his children.. I don’t think he’s that bad to let his fear or whatever it is to not man up..
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 29, 2016 at 3:14 pm
Hi Emma,
stop answering him, so he will be forced to face you
chelsea
June 28, 2016 at 1:52 am
hi i have been married to my husband for 3 years we have a child together and recently he broke up with me out of the blue stating that i was too insecure. he said that he does not know what he wants anymore and he needs a break. since the breakup i moved out. he has tried to contact me since the breakup which has been about two weeks now. he called me after a week of NC and i gave in he asked me to go out with him to talk about things but i said no and never contacted him after.two days after he sent a passive agressive message asking me if im ever going to call him unless he calls me. i read the message and never replied. i know i made a big mistake breaking the NC rule. what should i do now? should i just continue to ignore his calls or msg? it stills seems as though he is blaming me for the breakup.
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 29, 2016 at 7:49 am
Hi Chelsea,
you can still talk regarding your child.. he can still see his child.. the only thing you’re going to avoid is having a relationship, feelings talk and you need to be active in other things.. go out with friends or go out more with child.. go to the gym..
Amanda
June 26, 2016 at 9:15 pm
Hi, ok so I left a comment on another video and I think it got deleted. Anyways, my boyfriend and I dated for 2 years. He went on vacation and met this girl, when he came back we broke up. It has been a couple months and I implemented the no contact rule perfectly. I worked hard on myself, and became a better version of myself. I had to initiate the first contact, but he responded within minutes. We met up and things went good. When he asked me how I’ve been, I told him I have been great and I was able to find myself and become even happier. He said he missed me and I said I missed him too. He says he wants to start doing things with my family again. But I always have to be the one to initiate the contact. What should I do next? It’s been a couple days since we’ve talked, and I’m kind of stuck. I know he still talks to the girl he met on vacation, but she lives a crossed the country. He seemed happy to see me, I’m thinking of texting him again and meeting up and watching a movie or something. Help me, I’m stuck. Thanks! Also, we haven’t texted since the night we hung out. I don’t know if he’s waiting for me to text him
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 28, 2016 at 12:34 pm
HI Help,
sorry for the late reply.. take it slow.. if he wants to spend time with your family, so be it. Have fun but don’t want to be back with him right ahead. You should continue the activities you started during no contact and then slowly rebuild rapport with him.
Confused
June 25, 2016 at 6:26 am
Hello:)
What does it mean if my ex texts me 3 months after we broke up saying he wanted to apologize and sorry it didn’t work out? If things were done, then why does he feel the need to apologize especially if he’s done nothing wrong?
EBR Team Member: Amor
June 28, 2016 at 10:26 am
HI COnfused,
that can be a good sign that he’s missing you..