Exactly How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

2,741 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”

Link

September 16, 2013 at 7:59 pm

Hi!!

So after a period of NC that happened after a few months of “trying to be friends”, my ex and I were in a spot where we were regularly texting every day and hanging out together about once a week. It was even more close than we had been before the NC, as we were talking about emotions, even things that contributed to our break up and how we were fixing them, and he was even starting to get a little affectionate with me too. And he’d buy me stuff, and invite me to not only spend time alone with him, but also with his friends, so he wasn’t hiding that we had this relationship going on.

Anyway, during one of our recent texting conversations, he said something about not forcing a relationship and not having feelings. Which is ridiculous considering what our current relationship ACTUALLY was like. So I decided that I wasn’t going to repeat the feelings I’ve already told him a million times, drew a line and stopped answering. He started getting desperate and changed his tune, telling me he just wanted me to be happy (both via text and FB), then we’d see what we were and where we were going, that we should have lunch and talk it out. I took two hours to tell him I’d think about it. Another day went with silence, and the next day he threw a barrage of similar texts at me and went so far as to say that I should never doubt that he does miss me. I told him I didn’t even know what he wanted me to say. Later, he said he understood that it was so hard and so much gets left unsaid. I haven’t answered this one because again, I wasn’t even sure what he wanted me to say. Our FB conversation, I did throw him a bone with a reply about two days after the fact, but he’s not replied to it.

I guess my question is about what to do next? Should I keep the way I’m going or should I cave and tell him (again) how much I miss him and want to fix things with him. I don’t want to keep making it so easy for him, but at the same time, I’m not sure if he’s actually trying to fix things now? Any help would be appreciated.

samantha

September 17, 2013 at 4:11 pm

im going through something horrible trying to get my ex back to, just make him see what he is missing, don’t text him first and be confident. don’t tell him anything it will ruin your plan to get him back because ive did it before and the truth hurts
Link

September 18, 2013 at 2:41 pm

Yeah, I’m trying to show that I’m not an easy win. He tried to get me to not “leave” after he said we couldn’t force a relationship by telling me things like ‘Let’s talk this out over lunch, let’s see what we are and where were going.’ He tried a few days later to say he missed me, to pay me many compliments. I didn’t really bite. I just hope I’m not pushing him away. That’s the thing that scares me.
admin

September 17, 2013 at 1:44 am

Keep the way you are going I would not cave because you could come off as really desperate if you do that.
Link

September 17, 2013 at 2:48 pm

Thanks. You’re right. I feel a little better now that I got the reply to our FB convo out of my system, and now the urge isn’t so strong to message him. I essentially just told him to get his shit together and stop avoiding. But nicer. He still checks my Tumblr on a daily basis, sometimes multiple times a day and sometimes from work. I realize my mistake was trying to be as nice as possible to him, so it’s hard not always answering because I feel like an ass, especially when he starts saying things like ‘Never doubt that I do miss you….’ Then I worry he will get defeated and be like, ‘Well, forget about that. Too much work.’
admin

September 18, 2013 at 3:18 am

He may think that BUT you will contact him eventually and his tune will change haha.
Link

September 18, 2013 at 2:28 pm

I am hoping you’re right since his reaction to when I first stopped replying to him was pretty desperate to try and keep me from “leaving”, and his tune changed entirely from ‘I’m not sure, we can’t force a relationship,’ to ‘Let’s see what we are and where we’re going, let’s talk it out over lunch,’ when I stopped answering his texts. We had NC before, but he wrote me this giant emotional letter three weeks in and I answered. Two weeks later we were talking every day and he was practically treating me like we were together again. I guess the difference is this time I’m playing hardball with the NC. I was just over him ACTING like I was his girlfriend, but not wanting to seal the deal. It’s obvious he likes that kind of relationship with me, so hopefully doing this will make it clear he can’t have that unless he commits???? You think it will still be effective even if he’s trying to play the field or keep his options open or something?
admin

September 19, 2013 at 1:57 am

Yes, if there was anything to ever highlight in your comment it would be “he can’t have me until he commits.”

Farah

September 16, 2013 at 5:10 pm

Hi there, i stumble across this website coz i ws feeling all bad and missing my ex too much. It was a 5 yr relationship and it was devastating the way he left me. He told me he wants his life back etc and to add to that, and i always question why wait for 5 fucking years to leave. I was really devastated i bombarded him with texts n phone calls.. Coz so happen that he moved somewhere else earlier this year.

Just for your info he told me he changed his main contact number bcoz i texted him too much reminding him how good things were and how happy we were last time this actions costs me of losing him completely,

He blocked me on bbm, whatsapp, and on fb. That is when i decided to do complete nc 3weeks ago. Though a week after he blocked me on fb, i found out hes been unblocking me again (was excited then thinking he must be thinking of me too).

Knowing he still check on his old number, i texted him today and tell him that i miss him, too bad he told me hes seeing someone else and he acted really cold towards me. Again, i feel really bad breaking my NC. I want him back, we tried to be friends but i still feel for him and he told me he cant stand me being too nice to him and hes afraid that he might hurt me too much. Not too sure is he really seeing someone else, coz seems like he doesnt or it is just me trying to save myself from feeling hurt.

Some point i know he wont come back for me. But i miss him too much and life is so much better with him around. What do u think of my situation? I really want him around like it used to. It was all perfect :'(

admin

September 17, 2013 at 1:33 am

Do you have a mutual friend who could give you his number?
Farah

September 17, 2013 at 4:07 am

Nope. I know his friends but not that close for me to simply ask them for his number. But he still checks on his old number every other day.

i really want him back coz we are happy together (this is what he used to tell me unless hes just pretend to be happy before), i was clingy before i admit it, one of the reasons why he left me

after the break up i started workout,i go out a lot (more than ever! enjoying life as much) I still think life is so much better with him around. Today he added me back on his fb and thats the only means to contact him other than his old number that he seldomly check. Still acting cold and trying hard to convince me that he is seeing some other girls. Knowing him for long time, at the back of my head still think hes not seeing anyone special at the moment.. I act like im cool when i talk to him but god knows how i wish he would come back to me.
admin

September 18, 2013 at 2:54 am

Have you gotten my E-Book? I think that can help you?

Also, you might want to read the rest of the articles on this site. You will find them all pretty interesting I think.

Dawn

September 15, 2013 at 5:54 pm

Hey Chris,

your site has been a major help so far in my break up with giving me assurance that all hope is not all lost. my ex and I were together for only about 6 months, but I’ve know him for almost 2 years. our relationship started when he moved from up north into the apartment that I have. in the beginning things were great, we had some issues ( mainly him being 24 and drinking all the time and me being 27 and not liking him coming home at 3 am wasted) but it wasn’t a deal breaker for me and I was willing to work on the problems we had. things didn’t start going south until I found out I was pregnant. it was planned, though having twins is a surprise. our sex life really took a beating. and we always argued. he would always go out with friends and leave me at home. I began to accuse him off cheating and doubted he wanted to stay with me because he lived me, that he was staying because he was living freely-i paid all the bills (rent, electric, etc) I take partial blame as I’m a hormonal mess, but I figured he’d more understanding since he already has two kids with his ex. to make a long long story short our relationship reached a point where I knew something was wrong and one night through a text message after several days of cool affection between us, I asked if he thought our relationship was ending. e agreed. I told him he could stay as long as we split the bills and that we’d only be roommates, or he could move out. he decided to move out the next day. when i asked him when he knew he didnt want to be with me anymore, he said it was 3 days earlier after drinking and talking with a friend. this was a week ago. I’m now 15 weeks pregnant. I still remember him telling me how much he loved me earlier in the day before he realized he no longer wanted to be with me. I can’t understand how his feelings changed so drastically, or was I just blind to the signs? I love him dearly, and want him back I just don’t have the confidence that he will come back. I’m fearful that he’s out with his friend picking up girls at a bar and moving on. I’m starting to doubt if everything my relationship was was actually a lie. any other advice or words of encouragement on how to handle this kind of situation would be helpful. I’m currently doing the no contact rule, but I would feel wrong if he texted asking how the babies are doing and I just don’t respond.. please help!

admin

September 16, 2013 at 5:05 am

I know it is tough but you need to stay strong.

He shouldn’t be the only one going out and having fun YOU SHOULD TOO!

I would check out this article:
https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/get-your-boyfriend-back-if-you-have-a-child-together/

It covers my thoughts on the NC rule when children are involved.

Tasha

September 14, 2013 at 10:50 am

Me and my boyfriend had a mutual breakup after being together for 1 year and 2 months. This was not because of a loss of feelings for each other, we both still love each other very much. However, we were in a long distance relationship and since he is studying medicine he has very little time for me, he knew I was unhappy and we both decided it wasn’t going to work for the time being so we decided to break up. He says it would be amazing if we are able to get back together in the future when he can give me the time that I deserve. He says he still wants to be friends and talk to me though, and I was contemplating using the No Contact Rule as I don’t want to ruin the chances of getting back together. What do you think I should do?

admin

September 15, 2013 at 1:30 am

Have you read the LDR post?

Sydney

September 13, 2013 at 8:47 pm

I started seeing this guy, and I’ve always been skeptic about relationships so I tried not to get too close or attached to him. After spending all my time with him and texting each other everyday, I ended up falling for him. He would tell me almost everyday how much he liked me, and how much he wanted to be with me and missed me when we weren’t together, and I felt the same way about him. Our relationship didn’t last long, however. After 3 months of this amazingly happy time together, his feelings did a complete 180 out of no where and he told me he didn’t feel the connection he used to. I was heartbroken, and he agreed that we could still be friends. We still talked everyday and hung out once in a while and our friendship eventually became friends with benefits until, one day, he ended that too. I was afraid to lose his friendship, as it meant a lot to me, and I started sending texts that made me appear desperate and clingy… not my finest moment. He told me we would most likely never hangout again, but we could still talk, but when I tried texting him a week later, I got no response. Did I do too much damage to even try to attempt your NC strategy? I haven’t tried texting him for almost a month now.

admin

September 15, 2013 at 12:56 am

No I think you did the right amount of damage TO attempt the NC Rule hahaha.
Sydney

September 15, 2013 at 10:07 pm

haha thanks! It’s been a month now since I texted him last, but honestly, I didn’t work on myself very much.. I spent the first week and a half being a recluse, haha. I might just wait a few more weeks before initiating first contact, but I’m actually afraid to text him. I’m worried, when he receives my text he’s going to think “oh great, I thought she got the message and was gone forever, but now she’s back.” How do I know if 30+ days is enough time for him not to think I’m desperate/needy?
admin

September 16, 2013 at 5:19 am

Well, that is why you send this text to kind of gauge that. Though, if you sense that it’s too early you can always extend it.
Sydney

September 16, 2013 at 11:18 pm

I think I’ll wait a little longer and work on myself some more. I feel like I’m in a better state of mind already, and your website has played a big part in that, so thank you 🙂 But when I do make first contact I have no idea what the text should say!? I’ve read your examples, but I still can’t think of something that would be so interesting he has no choice but to respond. Any more advice on that first text? Thanks for all your help, I really appreciate it! 🙂
admin

September 17, 2013 at 1:52 am

Do you have the E-Book? There are some really good ideas in there.

shelb

September 11, 2013 at 1:36 am

Me and myex broke up 3 weeks ago, but I have been contacting him, do you think the NC will work? He broke up with me because I drink to much, but I’m proving to himn that I’m not going to drink anymore, he has came over, but when he comes over the next day he will leave and says he doesn’t want to be with me anymore his parents also have alot to do with this situation and I’m trying my hardest to stop drinking. And when the 30 days are up starting now, do I text him first or do I need to wait for him to text me.. andnif he does text me in less then 30 days then do I answer him or do I ignore him?

admin

September 12, 2013 at 3:00 am

You text him first!

I explain it all in Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO so grab that if you are confused.

But yea, you are on the right track.
shelb

September 11, 2013 at 1:42 am

And he is ignoring me too. So I’m kinda on the down side

Julia

September 9, 2013 at 6:53 pm

Hello! Your advice seemed really nice, I have been dating my ex boyfriend for 3 years. Three months ago I caught him going out on date with his coworker, I confronted him and he cut off all contact with her, saying that he didn’t like her just wanted some excitmenet and chasing, few weeks ago we got in a fight and I saw him texting that girl again, telling her that he had feelings for her and I am just a tenancy agreement for him. So the next day I packed my stuff and left while he was at work. He was really upset calling and telling me that I am love of his life and he just realized it. Last week I went to our house to collect the rest of my things, and basically he said that he needs to be alone, he loves me more than ever, but sometimes he hates me, that he doesn’t want any relationship at the moment and if he will it will be with me. So i was quite upset and left. After that he texted me the next morning that he was thinking about me running in the park through which he goes to work, Ig haven’t replied. I texted him regarding deposit couple of days ago, and he was like do you want to talk to me, I said yes and he asked me how I was doing, so we chatted a little. I asked him if he thinks we will ever meet again, he said to me not to think about it, and he needs to see me to get his bags back for him to move out of our old place. So I stopped texting him that day. Now I’m really paranoid if he goes out with that girl, and will just move on with his live, I really do love him a lot, even after bad stuff he did for me. So I don’t know what to do, do the NC rule? Stop contacting him at all for now?

admin

September 11, 2013 at 1:24 am

Hi Julia,

I would do the NC rule and realize that you have a bit of an advantage over this girl b/c you have dated him for so long. You have history and she would probably be a rebound. Besides, I am writing an epic post. Seriously, I just bought a new book to research this thing. I initially was going to write a shorter one but it morphed into a monster post and it’s all about exactly how to re-attract your boyfriend. It could be very helpful for you.

Amanda

September 9, 2013 at 1:07 am

Hi, me and this guy dated 3 years ago. We talked for a long time before ever dating. He goes to my church and me and his sister are very close which means we see each other a lot. He was my first ever boyfriend. After we broke up we did not speak to each other for the longest time . Just recently did we start casual talking like a hey every now and then. Recently I have been really wanting to talk to him. I want to send him a txt but I’m not sure what I should say. I don’t even know it he has my number anymore or what he would even think if I did text him….can you help by guiding me on what to do. I really, really want to txt him!

Amanda

September 9, 2013 at 8:44 pm

No I have not, but I will
admin

September 9, 2013 at 7:42 pm

Have you read this page yet: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-guide-to-getting-him-back-after-a-year-or-more-apart/

scarlet

September 8, 2013 at 8:12 pm

hii!
i loved a boy before and he was my first love and he loved me too! we stayed together for 2 years and more but we broke up in the third one. he told me he loved another girl but that girl was in love with him she didn’t confess it but that was obvious to me from her words she was just more caring than i was and she used to take care of him what he didn’t find with me, he told her that he loves her but she left him and he told her that even without telling me that he is going in a new relationship he just confessed it to her without thinking about me and at that time he told me to take a break to rethink about what we have been through and what we have to do. we said we would be just friends but he can’t be a fiend to me still he is my love! i used to care for him a lot but i didn’t show it bec. i know my family won’t accept him by anymean. so i decided not to get him attached to me so that he doesn’t suffer. but in fact i am the one who is suffering after we got apart!
i didn’t forgive him about what he did about loving the other girl but i really want to!! and may be i am waiting for him back. i don’t know what to do!
the break up was about 8 months ago and we are talking and calling and texting each other not daily but when we talk we have a conversation for 3 consecutive days! unlike our last couple of months we were silently sitting together and not even a word was said for hours and we felt that we have nothing to say for each other, he didn’t say much about the girl but what he said is that she is caring unlike me.
i feel like i want to be caring about him but then i stop it bec. he may feel i am displacing her inspite the fact that he told me that he really doesn’t care any more.

admin

September 9, 2013 at 7:18 pm

Have you tried anything like the no contact rule before?

Patty

September 6, 2013 at 10:50 pm

Hey Chris ,
I am having a major dilemma. My boyfriend of 6 years broke up with me, we are both 23 & have been together since we were 16. We broke up breifly in January. I spent the next 2 months after that chasing him only to be rejected every time I tried. I gave no contact a try and 11 days after I implemented it I got an I miss you text. We got back together , saw a counselor and things were 100% better honestly I had never been so happy in my life. Fast forward 6 months later . His father passed away about 8 weeks ago. Everything was wonderful until that point . After the funeral he leaned on me. He said everything was about me & him and us as a unit. I started to notice a change in him. He was withdrawing from me and when I talked to him about my feelings it seemed they didn’t matter. We got into a massive argument one day & I lost it & slapped him. We didn’t speak for a week and when I initiated contact he broke up with me. He was very cruel about it. I said some things I am now regretting to him and finally I just said ok. I decided to go into immediate no contact since that worked before. I understand he is greiving and I honestly feel the breakup is a result of that. I know this is a more delicate situation. It has been 2 weeks since I have seen him and now 6 days of no contact. Usually I run behind him begging or I initiate contact but this time I decided not to. Do you think the no contact rule will work for me?

admin

September 7, 2013 at 2:10 am

I think it can work for you certainly.

You will also get a lot out of Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO!
Patty

September 7, 2013 at 11:15 am

In some ways I’m scared that it is already too late and no contact will drive us further apart
admin

September 7, 2013 at 11:53 pm

When was the last time you spoke to him again?
Patty

September 8, 2013 at 12:39 pm

The day we broke up 8 days ago. We had a big fight a week prior to that. His father passed 8 weeks ago today
admin

September 8, 2013 at 4:55 pm

You can still do NC. So, you have 22 more days to go.
Patty

September 7, 2013 at 1:51 pm

Or I feel like no contact doesn’t apply because he is greiving
admin

September 7, 2013 at 11:56 pm

Ok, alter it to go into NC until HE reaches out to you first.

amanda

September 6, 2013 at 3:30 pm

Hi…Question if you think this will work for my situation.
Met a guy and dated for 2 months. He really pursued me and we seemed to get along very well. He introduced me to his friends and was always sending txts with ideas for future concerts and activities we could go do. He even bought me a very thoughtful and expensive gift for my birthday. (A gold key chain because I had been late for our first date because I lost my keys) And spent a day chopping wood for me for my fireplace because he said he was looking forward to some great time by the fire in the fall. Here is the deal..After our last date when he brought me that key chain and the wood and made plans for a concert a few days later…he txted me the next day about how much fun we had the night before and sent some sweet txts. Then all of the sudden he disappeared and I didn’t hear from him for three days. Honestly I really did think something had happened to him. There was never anything like this in our past. I txted him to see if he was ok and he txted back that his ex from years ago had shown back up from another state out of the blue and that he really likes me but feels he needs to give her one more shot. (I don’t know much about the relationship except that she dumped him and that it had been a very rocky relationship with constantly breaking up and getting back together…and they even tried therapy, which hadn’t worked) Anyway, I was so shocked but just replied that I had liked his too and enjoyed hanging out with him but I understand his situation and wish him well. So, that is my story. Was this just too short of a relationship to consider getting back? Was I a rebound girlfriend (They had broken up four years ago…and I don’t know if he has been getting back with her and breaking up in that time or if they just reconnected recently) I’m one week into no contact so I guess I’m practically already doing your plan. 🙂

admin

September 7, 2013 at 1:53 am

Hahah I think it will increase your chances for sure.

You might also want to check out the Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO ebook.

Kellie Hawk

September 5, 2013 at 3:27 pm

Hey Chris, I’m on day 15 of NC, & I’m starting to think ahead of the text I’ll send him. After I send the first text, & I get a good response, how long should I wait before I send him the second text (remembering the good olde days?) do I initiate NC again or text in 2 weeks or so? Thank you so much!

admin

September 6, 2013 at 2:16 am

two days is what I would say. Wait two days and initiate another convo.
Kellie Hawk

September 9, 2013 at 7:17 pm

& does that apply to every text? So send the first text, wait 2 days. Send the “remembering the good days text.” Wait 2 days, etc.?
admin

September 11, 2013 at 1:25 am

You should pick up the E-Book Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO. I explain exactly what to do in there.

But no, I think you have it wrong.

Rose

September 4, 2013 at 10:55 pm

So my boyfriend and I broke up 5 days ago. We fought because in school we only see eachother once day (in homeroom) but he talks to his guy friend and I talk to my friend.. Cuz we’re across the room, and it’s too hard sometimes.. But anyways. Our relationship was fantastic in the summer! We dated 3 months, broke up 2 weeks then dated 3 more months ..broke up now.. We always text everyday, in the summer and after school at night. The day we broke up we were texting and he told me for the first time ever that he loved me (well..DID) and I made his life 10x better.. I truly believe that he was my first love too.. We’re 15 okay. So after we broke up and then he said those things.. Then we agreed to be friends cuz we still wanted to be there for each other and be able to talk. I hadn’t talked to his for a few days after that. He apparently has been asking my friend about me..so last night I texted him and we just talked a few minutes. I talked to him in school this morning cuz he said he needed to tell me something (i thought about our relationship) but it was just about a problem with his mom , and he just wanted to tell me cause “that’s what friends do..” We talked a few minutes just about other stuff, like classes and life.. I still don’t know his feelings about ‘us’ though. I really wanna talk to him tonight but I dont know if I should. I don’t want it to completely look like I want him back but I secretly do.. A lot. We’re supposed to be “friends” but it’s just not easy for me.. I want my boyfriend back.. What should I do? Any good signs?

admin

September 5, 2013 at 12:46 am

I would try a limited contact method.

Laneesha

September 4, 2013 at 4:07 pm

Sent my first text to my ex. I waited about 40 mins or more in between responses. He responded fairly quickly to me. I was on NC for 17 days and then LC (due to a legal thing he was helping me with, he is my lawyer..weird…yes lol) for the remaining time. Always kept it business though. Never talked for too long when we had to speak. Maybe like 5 minutes or less about the legal stuff.

Me: At my parents white party, I remember last year when you had on your all linen white outfit. 🙂 Hope you’re doing well.

Him: I am doing good how are u doing.

Me: I’m well. Enjoying the day and night and the good food. yum.

Him:Yea the food there is always good 🙂

Me:Yes. It didn’t disappoint. My phone is dying so I shall ttyl. Have a good night.

admin

September 5, 2013 at 12:33 am

Hahaha WELL DONE!

Wait about 2 days before you initiate again.

Also, you may want to pick up the E-Book if you haven’t already to give you a good idea of how to approach future messages.

Rosie

September 4, 2013 at 8:13 am

can i say, the whole point here is trying to get a positive response from him. If neutral, negative and no response at all then need to go back to nc rule for 3 days to 2 weeks?
Am i right?

the goal here is positive response..

*sigh I just feel demotivated and i dunno whether i can be patient enough for this whole process. I just started to think maybe he has found somebody new. Should i accept the fact my ex bf and i will never get back together?*

admin

September 5, 2013 at 12:15 am

Only if you want to give up and whatever you decide I can help you!
rosie

September 5, 2013 at 6:33 am

First how can i know my ex bf has found somebody new? Should i stalk him or hire a spy?
I read ur post but that doesnt include the indicator that he has found somebody new.

Second i know my first text message was failed and now im in the another 2 weeks nc rule before start making contact. Problem is i dont hv any idea what should i text.

I feel he already move on and enjoy his new life and im just a bad luck..
admin

September 6, 2013 at 1:50 am

You can come up with a text and I can tell you yay or nay.

As for knowing whether he is in a new reationship or not whats the word on the street? What are your friends saying? What are his friends saying?
rosie

September 7, 2013 at 12:51 am

About he having new relationship, im not sure. As from what i know my friends was asking about him..if they didnt see us together. For me it was an indicator, if he has new gf and my friend saw them..of course my friend wont ask about him to me.

I dont know about his friend, i dont make any contact with his friend..
rosie

September 7, 2013 at 12:48 am

About the text..im thinking to text about our first movie date together. The funny thing was i told him the movie was related with nuclear, zombie etc but it wasn’t. He teased me all night long.

Maybe texting about when i didnt realised he saw me how struggled i was folding a paper for an origami just to reply his love note (he made an origami for me and wrote his love note in there) – but last time i do remember when we fought he said how stupid he was doing origami love note for me 🙁

Then maybe about how we both tried to ignore each other (ego and denying our love) but it took just a half day only to realised we both was meant together and can’t live without.

Or maybe again about the food that we ate…how tasty it was and couldnt find it anywhere else.

And the road trip we had, made our own karaoke session and sang throughout the journey and it was fun because both of us is a lame singer and impossible to see us singing in public.

Need your help. I’m back in 2 week nc after my first text message failed (he responsed neutrally)
admin

September 7, 2013 at 2:14 am

I wouldn’t go with the date. That is too personal too soon. You need something more general.

Oragmi might work but does he have an interest in oragami?

Sandra

September 3, 2013 at 6:06 pm

Hi Chris

Hope you are well,
I have read your site inside out and backwards about to by the pro kit too, just one question so i did the no contact rule for 90 days, then through a friend i heard my ex missed me but was too scared to contact me, i waited two more weeks in hope that he may get courage but he didnt. So i decided to text him. i sent him a simple text saying: hi hope you keeping well. was going through my photos and thought you may want the ones from Richards Wedding- please see link to download. Have a good day. he responded almost immediately to say. Thank you. how are you?That was nice of you. will download and look through them later……now Chris where do i go from here?

admin

September 3, 2013 at 6:37 pm

Thanks in advance for the PRO purchase 🙂 you have no idea how much I appreciate it.

I would say check out the texting sections in there.

You are getting positive responses so maybe you just enter into one more week of NC (since it seems like you have done enough) and then you can try your hand at getting him back. The E-Book should really help empower you and show you how to get him chasing you again.

Naty

September 2, 2013 at 6:20 pm

I dated a guy for only a month. We got real close with texting, talking and seeing each other. We were very compatable. I fell for him to fast and we ended having sex a couple of times. He seemed not ready at the time for the sex and didnt feel the same for me and broke up with me.
Can I still do the NC rule and then try to text him to get him back? Or is a one month relationship too short to salvage cuz not too much was invested?
Please help.

admin

September 3, 2013 at 3:16 am

Absolutely you can!

Ena

September 1, 2013 at 11:57 pm

Hi Chris

My ex boyfriend and I had been friends for 6 years before we started dating. After a few months of dating he dumped for being too needy, clingy and doing too much for him – more than he deserved.

Since the split I have tried to go no contact – the longest I have managed has been two weeks after which my ex boyfriend and I arrange to meet for whatever reason and we either ended up having sex or he has wanted to have sex but I have stopped him.

Since the split, I gave begged, pleaded and fought with him to give us another chance. But he refuses too now. After the initial breakup I made so many mistakes trying to pursue him that I feel like he will never take me back now. He tells me he just wants to be friends but I am struggling to let him go.

Please help 🙁

admin

September 2, 2013 at 2:47 am

I think you know what you need to do.

NC but actually stick with it 🙂
Ena

September 2, 2013 at 4:12 am

Do you think it’s not too late to NC again? We spilt in May…

At the moment and in trying just to be his friend in the hope he will change his mind?
admin

September 3, 2013 at 2:51 am

I don’t think it is too late. You should do what feels right to you.

rosie

September 1, 2013 at 2:02 pm

I could say, my first attempt for text mesage after 30 days no contact rule is failed. Yes, he didnt response..it made me sad..yes i know i should return back to nc rule. But i guess, when i re-read my first message, i also dont know how and what to reply if i were him.

Im thinking to text him back tomorrow..but this time around texting something about him..what he likes the most..

I know this is my last shot n it is not easy..

But i also afraid if im becoming an ungettable girl..he will think im a fake, easily forget what had happened..worst he will hate me even more..

Im started to think negatively as maybe his friends influenced him to stay away from me as im a cheater..

*sigh demotivated mode..*

admin

September 2, 2013 at 2:23 am

Chin up Rosie!

He may just need a little more time and you may need to come up with better texts like you alluded to in your comment.

You are thinking the right way that is for sure!
Rosie

September 2, 2013 at 4:14 am

I text him once again..and yes he replied and I ended the message first like your advice. (actually i was stuck in the middle of conversation and ended the conversation immediately after that)

the message that ended up with ‘How Are You’ have better response rather than message with good old memories without questions.

Maybe he dislikes the old memories that related with us.

For me, the old memories is dead already. New me and new thoughts

*trying to be optimistic*

do u think it is good idea to send him picture of me having fun with my friend or what should i do next? proceed with texting?
admin

September 3, 2013 at 2:52 am

As long as you look amazing in the picture!
rosie

September 3, 2013 at 11:37 am

Typo..

*he still mad at me..*
rosie

September 3, 2013 at 11:25 am

The good point here is..we started to speak again..at least through text messaging.

But the down side is, he clearly mentioned he is actually sill made at me..so anything related with meet up and phone calls isnt a good idea, and he wanted to avoid meeting me because he scared we will fight again..

Yea i skipped a few of your steps by inviting him to my house for the birthday party etc…

From the text messaging conversation i just realised the messages are more like asking question. For example i asked n he answered (where i’m the one who asked a lot)

I really want to talk with him..but i knew i just cant

What should i do? Do i need to appl nc rule again? If yes,for how long?

P/s: his responses towards my message is neutral..like ok, good, have fun, yes, no..
admin

September 3, 2013 at 6:34 pm

Yea, try going into NC for 2 weeks. It is really important that you get positive responses.

bellisima

August 31, 2013 at 4:41 pm

Hey Chris. Does the rule of 30 days also works for a long distance relationship???
Im just asking myself if in my case he could forget about me snd starts to dating other girl?

admin

September 1, 2013 at 4:38 am

I think it can. I really do. Especially if the two of you were in constant contact.

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