Exactly How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

2,741 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”

Claire

July 29, 2015 at 6:12 am

Chris , i really dont know what to do .I need help. My boyfriend broke up with me just a few days ago , im heartbroken . i tried commiting suicide many times but failed tragically. i cut many times . my boyfriend was a player , a fuckboy ,but i knew clearly that i was special , and he loved me dearly , and i loved him dearly. He has a girlfriend now , just 2 days after we broke up . i can tell he isnt serious about her . i really want him back.. I’ve already messed up by trying to get in touch with him because my phone was stolen. someone hacked into my instagram account and told him i wanted a breakup . it went crazy from there . i went crazy from there . i had not offended anyone .. thats basically a stupid way to break up, and i colapsed when i heard that. he gave me love in just such a few days , and i gave him my everything , but i guess it wasnt enough for him to stay and confront me about what to happen . i still have a chance to get him back do i? that girl is way prettier and better , and due to that i might not have any chances to get him back.. i really need tips and help to get him backk. can anyone please reply anad help me?

Listen

August 4, 2015 at 3:27 am

Babes, listen to me.
Read this entire thing. Im a guy and Ive been where you are. I have the scars to prove it.
NOBODY is worth doing that to yourself and you will find love again, I fucking promise.
Pretend he doesnt exist and work on becoming sexier and loving yourself and living life outside of him.
Listen to some good motivational music about becoming stronger or find some good r&b or love music and imagine meeting someone better. Someone who wouldnt have allowed that to make him break up with you. Get yourself someone more attractive and loving then him. He is only ONE person out of 8 BILLION. I dont know you but Im letting you know you are beautiful and you only need to focus on loving yourself and becoming the person YOU want to become.
Pay him no attention, period.
Either he will realize what he lost or you will find someone better.
Sending you lots of love, I believe in you.
Hope you can feel it and this helps you or ANYONE reading this. I love you all
Jo

August 1, 2015 at 4:16 pm

Hi, Claire. I know the idea of your boyfriend finding someone new that quickly can be hard to deal with; however, in my opinion, what you need to do is take a little time to yourself to deal with it. Cry it out, think about all of things you could accomplish without him, plan a trip, go out with friends, talk with your good friends and get their opinions. Maybe, when you’re ready of course, go on a date with someone new. It will help you to get some new perspective AND just might make your ex as jealous as you are. I know all of this is easier said than done and it’s going to be a rough rollercoaster where some days will be good and some will be bad, believe me. I’ve been thru my fair share of break ups, each one even more difficult than the last, and do you wanna know why that is? Because thru the break ups, thru the heartbreaks, I realize what I want in life and set my standards higher for love interests. Right now, you’re not thinking rationally and that is completely understandable. But you NEED to get a new perspective on life without him. People who tend to go into relationships one after the other tend to not be very happy in the long run because they haven’t gotten a good idea of what they really want. Just take your time and realize that it may not work with him today, but it may work out later on. Or you may even find someone even better! Just keep your faith and keep yourself surrounded by people you care about. Make him jealous and make yourself happy! Work on improving yourself, go workout, buy some new clothes, get a makeover! Then he’ll realize he made a huge mistake!
Pan

July 31, 2015 at 8:55 pm

Sounds like he was seeing her already, before he ended it, and was just looking for an excuse to break up which is why it all happened so suddenly. I think you should try to seek professional help as cutting and attempting suicide etc is not healthy behaviour after a breakup, or ever (I did the same thing – attempted suicide repeatedly, burned and cut myself etc over a period of about 3 years after my first boyfriend stopped contacting me and was eventually diagnosed with Borderline Personlity Disorder) ..it just seems like you really need to be focusing on helping yourself get into a more stable place emotionally and find a way to value yourself for the wonderful person you are.. You don’t need someone like him bringing you down, he doesn’t deserve you if he’s just going to throw you away like that and get with someone else straight away (or was possibly with her or very much wanting to be with her before the relationship even ended) You can do so much better.

Whittney

July 26, 2015 at 9:50 pm

I have a serious question. My bf and I have these small little bickering arguments and break up. He has commitment issues and trying to get him to change is useless but I can’t give up on him for some reason. Here’s the thing, we broke up about 2 days ago, he text me today and said be safe, I didn’t respond, he said ignoring me now? I didn’t respond, he said ok, I got you. Should I respond or no????
brittany

July 23, 2015 at 2:14 pm

Hi chris. Me and my boyfriend just broke up five days ago . we have a daughter together and we broken up cause of other people and always getting in to little arguments over thoes people . i despretly need some advice on what to do ive tried everythi g and get no responce or answer . please help me get my family back together
Gabriele

July 18, 2015 at 12:58 am

Hey Chris, my boyfriend and I broke up a little over a month ago. We were dating for 3 years and he just broke up with me out of the blue for no reason. He never told me why he just did:( I have been dealing with this since then and its been horrible…he looks so happy now with all of his friends and his “girlfriends” I dont even know if he thinks about me anymore! I really miss him so I did try to contact him using the “remember when” text and I didnt get a reply he just ignores me. I really need him please help me!:(
Cindy

July 17, 2015 at 9:01 am

Me and boyfriend broke up about a month ago we were together for 7 months and he told me a couple weeks after we broke up that he didn’t have feelings for me and that he never loved me so i believed him and a couple weeks later i texted him and asked why hr told me he only said that to make it easy on me so then he tells me about this other girl he kissed and he had said he was brought to tears after because he loves me no her witch brigs us to a couple days ago where he told me he wants me but has feelings for another girl and like i really want to be with him i miss him a lot and i don’t know what to do
Unknown

June 30, 2015 at 2:57 pm

Hi, my boyfriend and I broke up about 4/5 weeks ago and well it was mainly because I am shy. We had been dating for two months and to be honest its quite hard cause I don’t know what to do. My feelings started going away for him until a friend told me she thinks he still might like me and honestly my face lit up. I had liked him for a few months till he actually noticed me. Right now well we aren’t on talking conditions as I told him last night I didn’t wanna speak to him for weeks due to being confused and upset. I was on the terms of thinking ‘well I will become confident and show him I can be different’, I am too upset to continue with that and basically I don’t know how to be successful at it. I really need help even if it means to stay close friends with him I don’t mind because I don’t want to loose him in my life.
MEIA

June 29, 2015 at 4:24 am

hey chris, i need some advice. he is moving to the uk on august, should i still NC him? i’d still like us to be friends before he goes but i’m afraid NC-ing him will affect that. i have stopped talking to him for 4 days now. what do you think i should do?
Ellie

June 22, 2015 at 10:16 am

I’m just a teenage girl who got dumped by the love of my life last July. All I want in my life right now is my ex boyfriend. I still feel like we connect well. I hear it in his voice and I can see it through the texts he sent. We talk on and off. The last we talked was in April. And I encountered him at a Hot Topic in May. Him and his friend keep getting closer to me. His friend would keep giving him more details. We were both shocked and full of anxiety. I still don’t know what to do. My friends keep telling me to start talking to him again, but I’m afraid of rejection or shit hitting the fan. I love him very much. He means everything. I know that he still cares about me. Or does he? It’s currently the middle of June and nothing has happened. I’m a total mess. And I’m desperately hoping for something to happen. I’m sick and tired of this feeling. I’m fucking done.
Aline

June 18, 2015 at 7:25 pm

Hi Chris,
I hope u have a chance to send me ur advice.
after a year and a half. I finally confess a one time cheating to my boyfriend, it happened at the beginning of our relationship where we argued too much and i had many frustrations. The truth is with time we got soo much better, but the secret was making me depressed. His reaction was exactly as described by you..wants nothing from me. Im on day three of NC and feel a little desperate …he has not text me or anything. I feel bad because our current relationship had nothing to do with the beginning. Please help me. We were almost 2 years together and on top of that he is currently overseas. Thxs soo much.
Lexi

June 18, 2015 at 1:24 am

Hi Chris, I have still been talking to my ex off and on since we broke up in January, but recently he has gotten angry with me. I had done NC and every time I would contact him again, he would ask me to come over which just meant he wanted sex. Whether I was available or not, he would ignore me. We haven’t been talking much but I want to fix things. Please help!
Ria

June 17, 2015 at 7:27 pm

Hey Chris, so about three months ago, my ex boyfriend and I broke up. He ended our relationship because we were fighting too much and he couldn’t handle the stress. He accused me of playing mind games and told me that I always treated him badly, even worse when I got jealous over a classmate of his because he told me he thought she was pretty and I overacted. For a month after he ended up with me, he kept playing with my emotions. Telling me we would work it out one day and the next he would say he couldn’t. In the end, he made his decision and moved out of my house. His friends wouldn’t even look at me in the face and I know they had shame, because they were telling him that he deserve better and that I was not worth it. After that I found out that he started to see someone new, which of course I knew it was rebound because they met in a concert. Plus he was posting pictures of him and her without even dating over month. I knew it was rebound and that I shouldn’t worry, but the thing is that the girl is underage, like 8 years apart from him, and we’re only college students. I don’t understand why a man who always knew what was wrong and right would date an underage girl?! Anyways when I confronted this to him, he blew off on me and told me that the girl knew about me and that she is helping him forget about me. Now 2 months later after having no contact at all, I accidentally liked one of his instagram pictures, I panic, but decided to confront him so he wouldn’t think I was stalking him. I sent him a text and guess what, after a couple of minutes he respond. Sadly I cut it short because he started to brag that he has a new job and that he started to drink and get drunk, etc. I felt like I shouldn’t act like I care and ended it. I don’t know if I did the right thing or not, i don’t know if there is even a chance for us. Our break up hurt us both dramatically. Also on my birthday, he deactivated his facebook account hours after he saw a picture of me from my mom’s page ( they were friends on facebook).
Taylore

June 16, 2015 at 1:53 am

Hello! Looking for help and I need it desperately. When me and my ex broke up we were on and off again. After that we went a month without talking then we started talking again. We’ve been talking now for about 3 months. We hang out all the time even go out to eat a lot and he texts me everyday and calls me. However he still talks about hooking up with other girls and stuff because he’s only 17 and just wants to have fun. I’m pretty sure he is still interested because when he is drunk he says he wants to be with me again and I’m the only girl he talks to all the time. We dated for 2 years. I don’t know what to do because he just wants to fuck around and be young but I wanna be with him. Please help.

S Anon

August 17, 2015 at 6:21 pm

You cannot force him to change, that has to be on him. If he cares anything about you, he will stop what he is doing and or you will find a man that doesn’t do these things.

Kristi

June 13, 2015 at 10:46 pm

Can this also work for women who were just dating someone or only serious relationships?
I’m interested in the PRO but don’t want to waste my time if I don’t have a leg to stand on.
I talked to a guy for mos before meeting, amazing long night convos on-line and light hearted texting almost every day. Him initiating as well. We have some same friends & made plans for all summer. He told me I was hot and how much i make him smile. we connected on so many levels & so many coincidences ,it was insane. He constantly said he couldn’t wait for me to get home and we were going to have so much fun together. We finally meet, I stay at his home and I meet his family. But after 3 days, I make the mistake of sleeping with him too soon, he freaks out and says…”this has to be a one time thing. I can’t be distracted by a girlfriend. sorry. I don’t even have time to be friends or do those things we planned.”
It was a total shock. heartbroken.
The last day, he apologized for freaking out & that maybe something would develop over time.
This was 2 mos ago. He has never contacted me and rarely replies to texts (which I make sure are infrequent, always lighthearted, sweet and never asking anything of him) He is a pro athlete and loves attention & being praised which I shamefully tend to do.
I’m starting NC again, but I’m worried I’m wasting my time, unless even my rare contact was too much?
NC means not one single word in a month!?
Annie

June 13, 2015 at 3:15 pm

Hi Chris! I’m hoping you could help me out. I have been in NC for a little over a week now, and I caved in last night.. I sent him a snapchat of a place we Went running to one time, and asked him if he remembered that evening run. I received a positive response that said “lol!! Yes!! Good times.”
I don’t want to ruin any chances of us getting back together, but have I already done that? I know he can see from my Facebook and my snapchat that I’m hanging out with friends, and having a great time without him (which clearly still hurts inside, because I want to be spending these great times with him).
Porsha

June 12, 2015 at 9:16 am

My boyfriend broke up with me about 2 weeks ago he said it was because he told too many people and hes scared my dad is going to find out, we have talked once since then and it was about one of my mates pissing him off. I really miss him and will do anything to get him back, but is there another way other than the NC????????/
Kay

June 9, 2015 at 3:49 pm

Hi Chris. I’m sure you’ve heard this before, and I don’t want to go against all the research you have done but: if a guy broke up with you because he just wasn’t feeling that “spark” then what would the whole non contact thing get me? If he broke up with me, obviously he isn’t feeling it, right? I did the same stupid crap; kept texting and calling him after it happened but he actually would occasionally respond. He was nice about the break up and apologized several times and said he knew he was an asshole and being lame. So how do I know if it’s a good idea to do the no contact or if it’s just going to cause me more pain if after it all, he doesn’t even respond?

S Anon

August 17, 2015 at 6:25 pm

Take is as a message that he’s not THAT into you, otherwise, is this the kind of relationship you want? Someone that responds sporadically? It’s like bread crumbs. Get a man that is more involved and commited to you. Doesn’t sound like he was the type of man to do that.

J

June 8, 2015 at 2:42 pm

Hey Chris,

My boyfriend and I broke up less than 3 months ago. Yes, I foolishly did the begging… and obviously, it pushed him away more. It took me a while to go NC… but I did it. I did NC for 45 days. However, on day 39, I noticed that he unfriended me on FB. On day 45 (four days ago), I got myself together and finally texted him “Hey stranger 🙂 Guess what?”. Two hours later, he texts back with just a question mark “?” but I proceeded to write “I was watching TV and I saw a commercial about NBA playoffs with the warriors!! It just made me think of you for the first time in a while :P” (he loves that team) but he never responded.

I have a feeling he’s still hurt/angry/or very resistant towards me and I don’t know how I can change that. Should I try again in two weeks or so? Or give him an apology text for hurting him (telling him to remember the good times and give examples)? I’m stuck… Can you give me possible suggestions of why he’s still acting this way and tips on what I should do? I’m pretty sure that the next time I text him the way I did before, he won’t respond again. Thanks a bunch!
Veronica

June 8, 2015 at 8:52 am

Hi Chris,

Thank you for this post. My long-distance ex-boyfriend of three years broke up with me almost a week ago after trying for 4 months. He said he could’t deal with the distance and didn’t see how the relationship was going to be sustainable. I am heartbroken but accepted his decision, and sent him an email telling him that I will not be contacting him anymore and would appreciate if he gives me some space. I did say, however, that he should drop me a message when he’s back in town (which should be in a 3-5 months). He replied with a very nice email and said he agrees that NC is the best way to go, and that he will not be contacting me anymore. However, he did ask me to let him know how my exam goes in two weeks, but also said he would understand if I’m not comfortable doing so.

I just want to know what your opinion is in this situation. I do want to get back with him but am not sure if I should contact him in two weeks. I’m also worried that since I didn’t set a timeline for NC (or, that I set a super long timeline aka 3-5 months), he really will not be contacting me anymore. He’s very respectful and I’m afraid that he really won’t contact me because I asked him not to. What do you think?

Thanks so much in advance

Emma

November 3, 2015 at 9:03 pm

Hi Veronica,

I’m in the same situation now as you were in June. I’m interested how
things are now with you. I was the one who suggested NC because I
couldn’t handle the distance. He told me he would contact me again
after seven months because than he would have finished his master and
we could try in a more serious approach if I still liked him. He also
asked me that if I would meet someone else during that time I would
let him know so ‘he wouldn’t stay hopeful in vain’. I’m planning on
doing a NC for one month and than reach out. Hope you are well.
Greetings Emma

monike

June 7, 2015 at 3:54 pm

Hi I been dating a guy for 1month and a half and it was going great but a couple of days ago he got upset with me because he said I ignored him it was a misunderstanding and I apologize for it it’s been a week since I saw him and 2 days since he text me should I text him or should I wait for him to.
NJ

June 6, 2015 at 11:18 pm

Dear Chris,
Let my story be a lesson to all.
By an absolute miracle I got talking with my ex, after NC and didn’t follow your texting guide I actually had to really be nice to him and push him to talk and after two hostile responses he suddenly turned around and we emailed all day, texted the next day and it was great, he was nice and opening up to me and sending nice emoticons. I was going to let you know then there are some men that your exact technique may not work on, some are just toooo stubborn and proud and he is one of them, so I had to soften him to get him to talk.
Then the most horrendous thing happened, after the third day I somehow forgot everything I learnt on your website and started texting more and longer emotional messages and felt him pulling away which made me even more intense trying to get him to change his opinion of me. Then started questioning him if he’s seeing someone else. A week later it was all over, he hates me again, won’t talk to me and it’s worse than before which I didnt think possible. This is it this time it’s really over. I know it, no amount of NC will change this. The thing I can’t get over is how close I was and I screwed it up AGAIN!!! I feel so stupid I can’t believe how stupid I am. All I wanted more than anything was to be friends with him again, having the conversations we did was an extra bonus and it was all right there waiting to be an ex boyfriend recovery sensation, and I ruined it in the worst possible way. I’m finding it very hard to understand why im so stupid and how that could possibly have happened when I miraculously got what I wanted. I am in shock. I forgot all the rules. Maybe if I had bought ex boyfriend recovery pro I would’ve known and remembered what to do, and what not to do better.
I’m Very depressed.

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2,741 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”