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289 thoughts on “The Things That Women Do That Can Cause Boyfriends To Lose Interest In Them”

  1. Avatar

    Taylor

    November 13, 2016 at 7:45 pm

    Hey my name is Taylor,
    My ex broke up with me a month ago because he didn’t want keep trying to Change his feelings for me to the way they used to be. To me everything was normal and comfortable. We fought over little things but I know every couple fight over little things. I had a feeling he was being distant with me but it never occurred to me to ask him. I’m totally in love with him. We been together a little over 2 years. I do have a short fuse but I been working on controlling it but I release most of my anger out on him and I feel so horrible about it.
    I just want him back. His family told me they want us back together and my family said the same.
    It’s been a month and I’m still crying. I texted him (like a dummy) about how I feel and I wanted to talk in person but he told me he needed time and honestly I don’t know why he needs time when I’m the one who is broken. I just don’t understand what happened for him to break up with me out of the blue unexpected.
    Please help me get the love of my life back please.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      November 15, 2016 at 4:07 pm

      Hi Taylor,
      do you want to try the no cotnact rule?

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    Grace

    October 10, 2016 at 8:53 pm

    I am in desperate need of help. So my ex and I dated for a year and it was honestly so amazing. He was super clingy, jealous and committed right from the start. I have anxiety so I was pretty controlling when it came to the people he hung out with (they were into drugs) and his driving. We had a 3 day break that I wanted and he flipped out. He begged and begged and begged for me back so I gave in. He fought quite a bit leading up to the breakup but it was a really stressful period in both of our lives. Anyway one night he broke up with me because he said he needed to figure out his own life, he felt trapped and wanted to sort out his life before being in a relationship. From the beginning he told me he wanted to remain friends and potentially start over but he didn’t want to force anything. I broke down, begged him to come back. Anyway, fast forward a week and I started NC. It lasted a day and he texted me saying he loved me and needed me back, anyway He told me he had been planning to get me back the whole time. So I said I felt hurt that he left me feel like he didn’t want me and that he would have to earn this relationship back. 2 days go by and he tells me because I took too long to accept him back, the feelings have set in and he doesn’t want a relationship. So for some reason I thought the best option would be to be friends with him and try and win him back. He still has photos of me on all social medias, he has just changed his profile pictures. I was the one to change the status, he said he wasn’t going to. He admitted to me that he got jealous that I added 2 guys on facebook and started adding a bunch of girls. He found out I was talking to an old flame and got extremely jealous. He kept freaking out when I didn’t contact him and one day I was going to meet friends so I said I had to go and then he messaged me saying he was upset I could just “f***” him off so easily. He invited me to the beach which I declined and continues to say he’s mad I didn’t go. We met in person so I could tell him the way he was acting was not acceptable. He flirted with me, telling me my boobs looked bigger and I had lost weight. I have packed everything he ever gave me into a box and his it away. He told me I should still wear his jewellery and use the things he got me. He told me he still wears all of the clothes that I got him. He told me he misses me as a girlfriend but admitted that he’d actually lost feelings for me. He told me because we fought and he thought I was going to end it he lost feelings for me. He said he loves me and has romantic feelings for me, they just aren’t as strong. He told me that when I don’t contact him, he loses more feelings for me. Anyway, he came to my birthday and my friend gave me pearl earrings, similar to the ones he’d given me. I said they were beautiful and I would wear them every day to which he mutters under his breath, something like “yeah they are just like the ones I got you”. He continues to call me by my nickname that he called me in the relationship and only people closest to me call me. It’s been just over a month since the breakup and I started NC three days ago. I have him blocked on all social medias except fb. He key requesting to follow my Instagram all night and kept liking my status on fb that said “like for an inbox”. I Ignored it. On snapchat he literally logged into his mothers account to view what I had uploaded. Other than that, he has made no attempt to contact me. Previously though when I stopped contacting him, he would always contact me first. No matter what I do though, he maintains the fact that he doesn’t have feelings and wants to be friends. If we date in the future then so be it, but he doesn’t want to try and make it happen because he feels like that is forced.

    1. Avatar

      Grace

      October 10, 2016 at 9:05 pm

      Could you please just give me some direction?

      Like what chance do I have of getting him back?

      Does NC apply when he says he has lost feelings?

      Is he planning to get me back?

      Does he really not have feelings for me?

      Is he telling the truth?

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 11, 2016 at 3:31 pm

      Hi Grace,

      more likely he’s just keeping you at a distance, like keeping you in the friendzone so that you stay present.. it looks like he still has feelings but he doesn’t want to commit. he wants the benefits, without the work. When he said he would lose feelings for you if you became distant, it’s probably just because he’s trying to manipulate you in a way.. Though I don’t think he means it.
      So, it’s good that you started no contact again because he has to realize that he can’t keep doing that.. Be active in improving yourself.. do at least 30 days and then take it slow after that.

  3. Avatar

    forgive and forget

    September 30, 2016 at 11:51 pm

    I am a Collage Student , My exboyfriend and I was together for 1year , 9months and 22days . My boyfriend was sweet , kind and quite boy. He started talking to a girl on ‘Whats app’ , He told me thats his Bestfriend now i hear he like like her and he wanna break up with me for her . I tell him i done he beg for me back so i said okay i will not leave . Next week we was making out we never had sex . After skl he and i was texting he ask to finger me , i told him no and then he ask me to have sex i told him no he say we done and next day i see he with a next girl kissing and loving up . One year this boy been asking me when can we have sex . i told him wait until i reach 18 …. when i ask him why he break up with me he say he want action and i not giving him nun . I am a virgin BTW. He was never lie this before . whats going on , These day i see them hugging or walking together i feel like killing her and him .

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 3, 2016 at 3:37 pm

      Hi Forgive and forget,

      honestly I think you should forgive and forget him because it looks like all he wants is to have sex with and when he didn’t get it he broke up with you.

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    Jessica

    September 29, 2016 at 7:35 pm

    Hi Jam,

    I really need your advice. I’m currently in a 9 month relationship with my boyfriend. For the first 7 months of it, he didn’t want to commit to me because he “didn’t know what he wanted.” I admit that I’ve committed many of the cardinal sins. When I love, I love completely. I always go above and beyond to better his life – whether it is seeing him, spending time with him, driving him because he doesn’t have a car, getting him gifts and food, etc. Finally, 2 months ago, we had a major fight. I wanted him to make a decision. He decided he wanted to let me go so that he can go “explore what’s out there.” Long story short, it was quick. He was hurt by the girl he went on a date with once because she ended up hooking up with his best friend. He came back to me at that point and said that he now knew what he wanted and that it was me because he could trust me and I would never hurt him.

    So 2 months, we were great. I was blissful. Two-three weeks ago, however, his curiosity came back. He began flirting with a girl via text that he met at a conference. When I found out about it, he apologized and admitted to me that he still doesn’t know what he wanted but he would stop talking to her. We’ve been getting into more fights recently. I talk about our relationship like it has an expiration date. Before, he would be hurt by those statements but now, he doesn’t seem to care. When I ask him if he is still talking to that girl, he replied “occasionally.” Most recently, he signed back on OKCupid. When I confronted him about that, he told me that he was confused because it seemed like our relationship was ending based on the things I said. It hurt me because of how accepting he was of the situation. He tells me that he still loves me, but he still doesn’t know what he wants. He’s constantly making promises to me, but breaking them in hopes that I won’t find out.

    I’ve already decided that I want to break up with him in the coming weeks. I just want to enjoy our time together without the fighting and the drama. But when I see him doing stuff that he tells me he won’t do, being less affectionate, more distant, undervaluing me – it just hurts me so much. The reason I am breaking off this relationship is because I believe that it won’t be successful the way we are going. I want him to commit to me because he knows I’m what he wants. Even though I plan to break up with him, I don’t want to completely close the possibility of us being happy together – one day, eventually, for real. How should I act in the coming weeks before I end things and more importantly, how should I act in the weeks after?

    Thank you.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      October 1, 2016 at 12:52 pm

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    Jam

    September 18, 2016 at 1:31 am

    Hi. Im not from Western culture, and my first language isn’t English. My boyfriend is white boy from Europe, we live in Asia, we’ve been dating for alomost 4 months, we met here and when we first met, he was rush on me. I could feel he really liked me and I could trust him. We met on language exchange application, it is language apps but usually people use it for dating. Anyways after we became exclusive, i told him that i want him to deactivate the account and delete the app. I already did that time, and he said yes. But I found he used it 3 days ago…I already told him How i feel and why did he use it and he didn’t reply back to me but used the app, so i was pissed off kind of things. He said he didn’t use it but just open it, and he deleted the account and apps. And he said he hated feels like accused about this kind of thing, he is dating with me so he won’t be cheating on me and find other girls. I told him i felt insecure and i just wanted him to pay more attention, and show his affection and attention to me, and he said im too deeply caring and he said we all know that we are in a relationship and like each other so we don’t have to take every 1 mins or 2 mins. I tried to understand him but he didn’t show me any efforts from this conversation….He hugs me or kisses me or holds my hand or waist when we go out, but recently he just wanted to stay at home, doesn’t want any active dating.I don’t know what should i do or I don’t know what he is/ i am looking for in this relationship. Does he lose interested on me?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      September 20, 2016 at 11:10 am

      Hi Jam,

      If you are doing anything that was mentioned above, then it’s time to stop doing them. Stop being too clingy and focus more other things. If you’re insecure, that means you have to start building your self confidence..

  6. Avatar

    Taylor

    August 28, 2016 at 10:35 pm

    I am in highschool and I got my first boyfriend ever. We only hung out every once in a while…but he texted me all the time vice versa. We went and saw movies and even went swimming. When he took a week long trip to Mexico I missed him a lot, but when he got back he barely made an attempt to hang till tike a week later. I sometimes think I text him first too much, but I get worried that if I don’t text first I won’t get one from him. A few weeks later I went with my friend to Michigan and I cracked my screen and my phone stopped working. I told him he had to contact me through my mom’s phone. But it got to the point he didn’t try to contact me for a week. I went to his house and confronted him but he said he just didn’t want to bother my mom. After that I got occasional texts. Then school started and he barely texted then I got a new phone and could text him. But he either was sick or busy. Then about a week ago he would read my messages but not reply. I confronted him at school during lunch and he had no excuse except he didn’t want to reply. I let that slide. But the same happened the next day. So finally I asked if he still had feelings and he said not the same as in the beginning. Then he started to say how nice I was. And I asked if he was only still dating me to not hurt my feelings then we should be friends. And he said that was a good idea, that he agreed we should be friends. But I really like him. All he’d have to say is sorry I regret my choice I want you back, and I’d take him back in a heartbeat. In the relationship I just missed him trying to contact me and hang. during the relationship I think that is something that messed up what we had in the beginning. I am in highschool and I’m not sure if I should give him time or if he will even change his mind. I might have been a little obsessive but I just wanted the affection I wasn’t getting. And he never kissed me and rarely held my hand even thought we were dating for over three months. Some people say he could be gay but I don’t think so. I just would say he is shy. He also would sleep a lot then when he wouldn’t reply that would be his excuse. And would say all the time when I wanted to hang out he had to go somewhere with his parents so he couldnt. I just don’t know what I could have done wrong except maybe be a little obsessive. I just want to know why his feelings have changed when I have no idea what I could have done. And when I asked he just said “things have slowed down a little” but he never was bugging me to hang it was always the other way around I had to make/request any plans we ever had. Is this my fault or his or both. We broke up in text and he kept repeating that it’s his fault not mine but it had to be something about me that made his feelings change. I want to ask him the reason but I don’t want to bug him since we’re broken up and he already said he doesn’t really know he just lost feelings. But there has to be a reason…right??

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      August 30, 2016 at 7:37 pm

      Hi Taylor,

      maybe because he’s not in a stage in his life to be in a serious relationship.. Girls tend to be more mature emotionally compared to boys, especially at that age. So, you were so into it, making the relationship work but he’s just, you know, enjoying the ride..

      I know this will hurt but it looks like, you are too serious with the relationship and he’s not.. He’s just enjoying life and letting things happen.

  7. Avatar

    Catia

    July 18, 2016 at 6:35 pm

    Hi Chris,

    I’m worried bc I’m not in a relationship for about 4 months, and things have been going really great. We’re both pretty fun, carefree, and very open – both in communicating our feelings, but also just being our silly selves. A few weeks ago we reflected on everything together and both feel that we have we work really well together/a strong relationship.

    But recently, for some reason, my emotional self has been kicking in and feeling a bit… idk, insecure? jealous? etc? about his EX-girlfriend (with whom he broke up about 10 months ago — so there were about 6 months in between for him to be single.) He always says “I lvoe you way more than her” which is totally unnecessary and he shouldn’t feel that he needs to say such a thing, but I admit that it secretly makes me feel a little better. Regardless, he sometimes slips up and tells a story about something that she was also involved with and he just casually says it without meaning, “blah blah and my ex’s so and so” … which used to frustrate me and I’d always call it out, but I now realize his point in innocently doing it, etc.

    My main thing is that in the last 2 weeks or so, we’ve had a few little arguments in which I totally recognize and admit that I probably sounded WAY too emotional and/or insecure, and they all started as some sort of “innocent” question on my part, which I think I actually was probing too deep. Last night it happened again and I truly think it’ll be the last time bc I’m not aware of my behavior and the affect it’s having on our relationship…..

    BUT…. I’m worried b/c he was like “I knew this talk would come up again and every time it just piles on and makes me more and more annoyed” <— and that reminded me of your post where you talked about adding money to the jar, or taking away money from the relationship jar. And I suddenly thought, shoot, he's devaluing me right now etc… and I got teary-eyed and it was awful. he was very calm then and said "I wish you were more confident in me (him) and knowing that I love you, etc, and do i not make you feel appreciated/loved?"

    so it ended on a nice sweet note but I just worry that I've exhausted him in the last 2 weeks and that maybe it culminated last night…. aka, I'm worried i've devalued our relationship more and he sees me less desirable now. Can I come back from this?? How?

    1. Avatar

      Catia

      July 18, 2016 at 6:39 pm

      I know you’re in crunch time so the last 3 paragraphs-ish are where the main question/issue is πŸ™‚

    2. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      July 20, 2016 at 10:50 am

      Hi Catia,

      yes, you still can.. just stop doing that and worrying about that and start having fun with him and trusting him

    3. Avatar

      Catia

      July 18, 2016 at 6:36 pm

      oops I meant, I AM**** in a relationship for about 4 months now!!

  8. Avatar

    grace

    June 22, 2016 at 9:37 am

    Hello, Iv recently broke up with my boyfriend around 3 weeks ago of 2 years a because he said hes tired of the arguing, now i dont disagree we had our arguments but i thought it was just a rough patch and stress was just getting in the way. Now since then i have broken many rules i have contacted him and sent him emotional messages and also broke down in person telling him how much i love him, he says he does love me but like like he used to, he says hes going to miss me because we lived together for the best part of a year. During this 3 week period we have slept together numerous times and he says he did this because hes obviously still going to have feelings for me, but yesterday my friend confronted him up town and said she saw him getting cozy with some other girl, now instantly when i got told i blew up since i slept with him the same day, he finally agreed to meet me after alot of texts to him and i said i believed him and that it wasn’t true after he explained everything, it ended on me breaking down on him and also sending a very long emtional text and him saying that he doesnt want to be with me anymore? im so confused have i lost the chance to get him back? he promised he would still take me out for my birthday 9th july if i wanted too, and that he wants to remain friends and he doesnt want me to hate him, should i just give up?

    1. Avatar

      grace

      June 22, 2016 at 5:24 pm

      iv started it today and finding it extremely hard and stressful, im just worried that my chance is gone and he will never reply (or if he does it will be about my birthday) because i begged and cried and broke so many rules.

    2. Avatar

      grace

      June 22, 2016 at 10:04 am

      He is also yet to take it off facebook after 3 weeks, he says this is because he doesnt want all the questions from everyone. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

    3. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      June 22, 2016 at 10:41 am

      Hi Grace,

      are you open to doing an active nc?

  9. Avatar

    Candid

    June 16, 2016 at 4:44 am

    Hey I read everything here and it was completely right. When I first met my ex it was almost love at first sight and massive sparks and based on my feelings I went for everything I got so in essence sin #2 giving him too much too soon. Only went out for bit more than a month but it was really intense emotions for both of us. Around time we broke up, I was starting to stress a lot and I get overly emotional (I think that comes down to my issues in my childhood but I’m improving, which also adds in insecurities but I’m getting much better when I focus on myself) but not towards him only when things started to go downhill when it made me question. He’s the type to avoid conflict. He knows that I can fake cry but I would not use it on serious situations I only cried real tears to him twice. Towards the end the spark wore off nothing we talked about to each other interested us so we both essentially used sex just to fuel it up but eventually I felt that it started to not go well… with admiration I think I got use to him… basically I almost made all the sins that could be listed up there I don’t think I was very controlling. We tried to talk after the breakup it was more like me trying to talk but it wasn’t the same and the conversation wasn’t good anymore… Haven’t talked to him for 3 weeks he avoids me everytime he sees me as in either runs away or walks the other direction. I feel a bit better that way I mean I am very hurt he ignores me but I don’t think I could hold a natural flowing conversation just from all the list I almost did all the sins but how would you go about rekindling if your ex avoids the sight of you as in he will run away from you or walk in the other direction when he sees you. I haven’t talked to him for almost 3 weeks

  10. Avatar

    Jean

    April 29, 2016 at 12:34 pm

    If you have been dating for 10 years long( i guess cardinal sin “time” applies here),relationship got boring,there was no more connection, he didn’t want to be with you anymore and your boyfriend breaks up with you, what would I need to achieve to try and get this all back?

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      May 1, 2016 at 6:28 am

      it’s okay to talk to him directly about that.. as long as you’re not having small talk and not talking about the relationship and feelings, you’re not breaking nc.. you need to have your own life and build your own routine and improve yourself to regain attraction..

  11. Avatar

    Nina

    April 26, 2016 at 3:58 am

    Hey Chris! I’ve been hooking up with this guy for two months, but he hasn’t made a move to say that he wants a relationship yet… How do I get him to want to pursue a relationship with me? We started seeing each other two weeks after he drumped his ex for being too jealous.

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      April 27, 2016 at 6:44 am

      HI Nina,

      I’m afraid you’re he’s rebound.. and also his booty call. I hate to say that but it looks really like that.. You have to stop sleeping with him and start nc but be prepared if he still doesn’t want to commit after.. It has to take time for him to see you differently.. but definitely do nc because it’s the only way to start breaking the way he sees you.

  12. Avatar

    lacey

    January 2, 2016 at 5:13 am

    Hi,
    My bf and I have been together for almost 2 yrs now. He got me a ring for my birthday day but never asked me to marry him. We live together with our kids from previous marriages. Out of no where he doesn’t seem interested anymore, no sex, no joking around anymore, barely says I love you anymore. If we do have sex, its me that gets things started and does all the work. He doesn’t touch me like he use to or anything. Please help

    1. Avatar

      EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 19, 2016 at 11:03 am

      HI Lacey,
      based on the post above, have you identified the possible reason why he suddenly became distant?

  13. Avatar

    Kaileigh

    December 25, 2015 at 9:06 pm

    Hi Chris
    i was reading alot of your articals and just wanted your thoughts on my situation…. my ex and i met online in May 2014 we talked for 7hrs straight and everyday getting to know about as much as you can with it being online but then in August 2014 he had bought a bus ticket and moved 17hrs to be with me and my kids (was a single mother of 3 ) he stepped up and became the best father figure that they could have in my eyes and things were great he had asked me to marry him and that he wanted to add to our family which we had a little merical happen and i got pregnant (i had a iud in) so we thought it was ment to be we had our usual hormonal related fights during the whole 9mths and that was fine we made it threw it then after our son was born we had a mishap happen where we were not able to live together… but we managed so i thought… i didnt like how we went from being around one another to not at all so i planned a weekend away for us but while we were away i had this gut wrenching feeling that something was up for a while i summed it up as ‘oh gosh your just paranoid’ but this was going on way to long… he had got a new phone which i had bought for him cuz his other was smashed and cracked (from dropping it too many times) and he started acting strange… like… sleeping with his phone and taking it everywhere he went and when i asked to see it to check it out cuz it was more newer then my old phone he held it and i was not allowed to go on it or hold it (which was strange since we used to swap phones all the time and take pics with the others phone for them to see later on) so back to while we were away for the weekend and while he was sleeping with it under his pillow i… was able to get it and went to do what we used to do and take pictures with it for him to see the next morning but when i went on it there was pictures which i will not go into detail about and a video… (from another girl) not to mention the said girls number was in his phone under Amazingly Beautiful…. when i had confronted him about it he lied and said he downloaded it… when it was clearly a homemade video and pictures sent to him… all he could say was im sorry and that i wasnt thinking… he after told me that the two talked which we have never had issues with talking to ppl of the oppisit sex and he had said he thought she was really awesome and that he liked her… didnt explain how he liked her just said he liked her… so this had been bugging me and made me into this person i dont want to be EVER! and i have always been the one that if he needed to say or tell me anything i wouldnt get hurt id rather honesty more then a lie… i had started questioning if he would ever do it again and such and he had also told me he was not thinking and he will not ever do it again… we have since been able to go back to living together again and we have been in our new house a month and a half… well since then i have only gone threw his phone twice (i know this is hard to admit it knowing i shouldnt but it to me helps me be able to trust him again if i DONT find anything) well now… it has come to he will openly tell me he is talking to ppl and will be all day on his phone but… when i check… its all gone like he wasnt talking to no one as if he deleted it all (why delete things if you have nothing to hide is my theroy) so again it dont help that i have had paranoia with him due to past inncidents and now we recently had a minor stupid fight over when i look back NOTHING…. he had said something and i jumped back well i had said ” if you have a problem including me in things that are in your life just get out of my life then” and i had not said that ever before… and he just up and said fine thats it im done…. just up and is leaving but since he moved in with me from 17hr drive away…. he is continuing to live here til he is able to get a way back to his home town… which isnt for a week or two… so in this time i need help should i fight for “us and fix things or should i just let him go???? ive gone over a few things on this site and he has been doing a few of the things that show he is thinking of me and still feels something… but the NC rule… how do i do that if we live together?

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    Lolita

    November 21, 2015 at 8:11 pm

    Hey Chris,
    Looking back at my relationship, I’ve committed most of the cardinal sins. I was too insecure and I would complain/nag a lot. I didn’t realize his until 3 weeks ago when my ex told me I wasn’t making him feel good anymore. It really opened my eyes.. After that I messaged him and told him I would be a lot more understanding and supportive. I tried really hard to change after that. However, I feel like things got tense between us despite us giving it another shot. The thing is I was torn between me not respecting myself and respecting him. I was confused because I felt like I was focused more on him. He’s really busy with work and school that communication with him became minimal as well. So yes, things between us just fell apart and I ended things with him last week over a fight. Now he won’t even message me anymore. I still love this man a lot. I was immature and i feel so much regret. I also know that we both were immature and it just led to the ultimate climax. Is there any chance of us getting back together? I want to reconcile, but my friends and even my intuition says I should let go. I’m currently a medical student and I live a stressful life so yes that explains a little of my neurotic tendencies. I’m working on them now though. Any advice? Btw thanks for creating this website. It really helped me understand where the relationship went wrong.

  15. Avatar

    Kelsey

    October 9, 2015 at 9:15 am

    Hey Chris,

    Need your opinion on if there’s any chance of reconciliation. Here’s some background.. My ex has never had a girlfriend (we’re in our mid 20s). We were have been friends for a while and there was always something there. I was dating someone else who I broke up with because of my feelings for my now ex. I have to say we jumped in too quick. We didn’t make the transition from friends to more that easily, and due to his inexperience and my insecurities we started to fight once every week or two because we didn’t know how to have a relationship. We got into a huge fight Friday and he has since said that he has lost all feelings for me because the fights have been breaking him down. We’ve only been dating for four months, but I already feel way more for him than any other relationship. He said he still cares about me and wants to eventually go back to being friends and doesn’t want to lose me in his life. (We’ve never just been friends there has always been something there). Here’s the kicker, we work together and have to see each other every day. I just started NC and am trying to let him go but I don’t want to lose him. I really want to be with him. Do you think there’s a chance he could remember his feelings? We have always had this strong connection. Do you think he could come back?

  16. Avatar

    Sammy

    October 8, 2015 at 3:50 pm

    Hi Chris,
    My boyfriend left me out the blue a couple days ago. I felt that something wasn’t right and I asked him was he losing feelings for me and he said yes. He continued to say he has lost feelings because of most of the “Cardinal Sins” you listed above. I’ve been devastated ever since. I don’t know how long he’s been feeling this way or if this is even the real reason for him leaving me. He also went on to say, I’m a good person just not for him. I’m so confused, I don’t understand what I can do to make him see the girl he fell for in the first place.

    Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated, Thanks!

  17. Avatar

    Wendy

    September 14, 2015 at 8:45 pm

    Hey Chris,
    This article has terrified me a bit!! I’ve exhibited a fair amount of this behaviour and I can really see where my ex is coming from now!! I was a little high maintenance – we lived abroad together for a year and he said that he felt he had to be a father to me during that time and that he wasn’t enough to make me happy. I’m a very sensitive person and it means that I can be over-emotional sometimes too. When we got back to our country, he started avoiding me, telling me he needed space and it just made me so needy and insecure (which in turn led to jealousy). I can see what i’ve done wrong now and I so badly want to win him back and show him that i’m still the same girl he fell in love with! How can I show him i’m not high maintenance and overly emotional anymore?!

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      October 2, 2015 at 4:49 pm

      Well, the best way is to let some time go by and make some significant changes in what you can bring to the table.

  18. Avatar

    cori

    August 13, 2015 at 1:42 am

    Hello Chris while reading this article I came across the answer I was looking for. I typed into google if it was possible for after two years for someone to lose intrest. I noticed a story about a friend that said his relationship was getting boring after about two years. Ya he loved her but she was annoying. For about a couple months my boyfriend has been honest to me saying he doesn’t know why but he is losing intrest and doesn’t feel the strong connection we once had. We were for a year inseparable. Now he goes to college about 2 hours away in a week and there will be more exciting things and I’m scared that I will be to boring to be with any longer. You said the girlfriend of your friend fixed this situation by keeping things intresting. How exactly did she do this?

    1. Chris Seiter

      Chris Seiter

      August 19, 2015 at 4:37 pm

      You situation is slightly different as you are now in a LDR. LDR’s take a little more work.

      All you have to do is change things up a bit to bring back his interest. Go on an exciting date together, something that both of you haven’t done before. If your super naggy and overwhelming take a step back, if your never around text or call a little more. Just make some changes and see how he responds to it. Also work on being the best version of yourself. πŸ™‚

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    Carly

    June 27, 2015 at 3:19 am

    At the beginning of my relationship with the ex (breakup has only happened within the week), to me, everything was awesome. I saw my ex through rose coloured glasses and he could do no wrong. I was always happy, full of raw attraction for him, and saw how this huge potential for the 2 of us. He promoted his nature to be sweet considerate caring and a philanthropist who valued honesty loyalty and authenticity as code values. But then I found out that what he promoted about himself only ran skin deep :/ we went on a holiday, it was the first time he told me he loved me, I was happy and everything was perfect. I had to leave the place early for work and he stayed back. In that small sliver of time he lied to me about what he was really up to and met up with a girl he had met on Tinder in the area the year before. It was drinks with the girl and another girl and “apparently” it was innocent and nothing happened. I couldn’t deal, mostly with the fact that this perfect man had lied to me and didn’t have enough relationship depth to be honest with the girl he just told he loved :/. He managed to talk me back in, by telling me it was a personal test of sorts and he knew more than ever he wanted me and his heart was feeling so open and loving for me which hadn’t happened in other relationships in a long time. I decided I had to believe him, but it was too hard. He knew he had upset me but I didn’t see him making up for it in any way. His behaviour became flaky – ie arranging times for me to come over then he would be off doing other things and not letting me know he would be late. Telling me he was giving me an iPad for Xmas then when it arrived (after Xmas) he never actually gave it to me he opened it and automatically started saying how great it would be for him to use. Then when I was upset about it only then did we do this round conversation where he said it was for me. By then I didn’t want it anymore! I found it really difficult to understand him and his ways, I was also under massive stress with my own business. Although I really wanted things to go back to how they were in the beginning, with the new insecurity and disappointment, I became pretty much all
    Of the above!! But it didn’t feel like it was me πŸ™ it felt like it was the product of being in a relationship with a guy who didn’t value me. I try and go over why all these things happened the way they did, maybe I was too highly strung, maybe I failed to understand him enough and then let things go, maybe when we first started dating I held back too much. I don’t know. The first part of our relationship was so wonderful, we both said we felt inside like each other could be the one. It’s depressing to think our relationship came to this

  20. Avatar

    Natalia

    June 26, 2015 at 4:26 pm

    What does too much too soon actually mean? I understand being able to resist physical urges in order to make sure you you actually get along and have more than just a physical connection ( 3 months? ) but once you’re already in a relationship and the connection has already been established, shouldn’t you always want that person, that way? Should you still hold back physically once you’re already in a relationship? If you feel like saying I love you first, should you? Or will that scare a guy away…
    Why are there so many rules? If someone genuinely likes you and has a connection with you , I feel like the order of these kings shouldn’t matter. What do you think Chris?

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